The Intuitive Communicators
In a sense, what we've been talking about so far has been a preamble to what we're going to talk about now, so now we're going to take a sort of a deep dive. We're gonna look at the nine types and I'm going to explain to you are like the structure for looking at the types and according to the three triads, and I'll just leave it at that for now. But first I wanted teo talk about something very important, the uses and miss uses of this information all of this information together, I don't think I'm exaggerating by saying this it gives you a kind of view into other people's behavior that they might not have themselves. It gives you a view into your own behavior that may be new, so ways that this information could be misused, for example, will start there would be I see that you are communication style is too, and you need to be needed. So I'm going to say things that make you feel needed so you will do what I want that would be an example of a misuse we could actually manipulate other pe...
ople when we can see things about them that they can't see about themselves, don't do that, this is a misuse. And so if you ever find yourself thinking things like well I can see what kind of person they are and so I'm I need them to jump from point a to point b and if I say it this way they will do that and then I'll get what I need and I can be out that would be a red flag type of situation so another misuse would be as a way of ghetto izing other people by saying things like oh I'll just use two was an example again o the he's a two he just always talks that way because he needs to be needed so he's just always saying though he's a too so of course he's going to do that or oh she's a nine so of course she's goingto act this way or that way that would be a misuse and unkindness so these air actually riel ways that one could do harm with this information so I want to be very clear that the proper use is for is as a compassion tool and in my life as a buddhist practitioner now for nearly twenty years I have never found a more powerful compassion tool um buddhists would call it an oop ia papayas a sanskrit word that means skilful means and skilful means is anything that increases compassion so it could be something that looks nice could be something that looks mean it could be something that looks strange it's if it's something that increases compassionate is it is a skilful means and I have never found a more potent skilful means than the information that we are about to discover. So the proper use is for self understanding and self cherishing, even becoming more gentle towards yourself and of course becoming more gentle towards others making more space for people who are different than you two be present to be a part of your life to be included to be valued. So I made a whole slide that just said uses and misuses just because it's very important that we approach the information in this way so before we open the gate do you have any questions or concerns about this taking that as a silence as consent? Ok, so here's here are the parameters that we're going to look out look at for each type and I can explain each one of these things line by line. So as I mentioned there three triads grouped around a center of intelligence, the intuitive triad, the emotional triad and the mental triad so let's just take two three and four as an example that's the emotional triad in the center of the triad is the number three and then in the center of each triad nine three and six that is the core of that particular triad, and the number on my numbers on either side are aversion of that central number so too is a version of three and four is a version of three they married they don't look alike necessarily, but the reason that I'm telling you this is because in each triad the core number nine six and three is what is called numb to its essential quality so three's, although they're in the heart triad can't find their hearts and six is in the mental triad not sure what they think those air the doubters that the whole poker's nine in the intuitive triad can't find its own instincts when you can't find your own instincts, it could be very confusing howto operate in the world, so one number in each triad is numb. It happens to be the core number another number in the triad in the case the emotional triad two over expresses the core quality, so if you're a to your communication style has a lot of emotion going out in it. The emotionality is very obvious and palpable there's a tremendous feeling of how I really know what that person's feeling they're making me feel things they want to connect with me there's ah an infusion of emotionality the third type in this case four internalizes interior rises in trajectory the core quality so in the case of the emotional triad the four sort of eats all the emotional energy all the emotional energy goes in so there's a very sort of multi layered in her life and when we get to each type, we're going to talk about how that quality manifests in that particular number over expresses the energy goes in or it's numb makes sense. Okay, now then I'm going to give you a description of the type because you know just the basic qualities about which I'm going to say something more in a second I'm going to talk about the poison to medicine spectrum that I mentioned previously that each type has a core quality that when it is in a sort of so called degraded um manifestation is a poison for that person and perhaps others around them but that same quality when it travels the spectrum that is unique to that type ends up being a profound medicine. So the point that I'm trying to make here is not that you stop being this and you start being that it's that this transforms into that so when you possess this and this is true in all aspects of your life, you also possess this when you possess fear you possess fearlessness when you possess sorrow, you possess happiness so each one of the types has a spectrum of poison to medicine we'll explore that each type has an idealization I am blank whatever blank, whatever you might fill in the blank with as being like that's the most awesome each type hasn't avoidance. Oh, no, don't give me that! I don't want that! And then each type has a talking style in the talking style is names there, nine names for the talking style. Some of them are kind of straightforward and some of them are kind of funny, but you'll find out what they are when we get to each of the types. And the last thing I want to say before we go into talking about the types is you're going to hear a lot of descriptors, this types outward oriented, this type is inward oriented. This type cares about what's right? This type, kate wants to have fun, and then you might go out in the world thinking, okay, I've got this list of qualities that are associated with the nine types, so when I hear someone being happy, I'm going to think that there are seven or when I hear them being needy, I might think there too, unfortunately won't work because the's are essences, thes air descriptions of people's, essences and know list of qualities can ever capture your essence. So rather than being a list of qualities that you check off these air like nine flavors of ice cream, so no matter how well you can explain what strawberry tastes like it's, fruity, it's, fresh it's kind of tart you might go okay? I might. Mayor may not like that if you've never tasted strawberry before but the second problem puts a spoon with strawberry ice cream in your mouth like, oh, I get it. So that is more like the way to approach this kind of typing, any kind of typing I would say it's like describes nine flavors and again, no matter how accurately you could describe a flavor, nothing communicates it like tasting it were sniffing it or like, okay, that's it. So when you go out into the world with this information, maybe go a little bit more by feel rather than lists of types. Does that make sense? Okay, so here we go. Uh, first we're going to talk about the intuitive communicators and these air. This is the eighth, the ninth and the first position. So I have my own names for them. Different people make up different names for the types, but I call them the eighth type is the warrior, the ninth type I call the intermediary and the first type I call the crusader eight nine and one warrior inter mediator, intermediary crusader. These air, the three kinds of intuitive communicators and we're gonna look at the one by one. I love these illustrations first we're gonna look att number eight, which I call the warrior eight is the type on the intuitive triad that over expresses all the intuitive energy they're the kind of people that walk through a situation like they have no doubt because when you are really connected to your instincts, you don't have doubt because you just know and when it's going out into the world instead of in or you can't find it there's you walk into the room with a sense of tremendous confidence. So this is a kind of person that you feel when they walk into the room you can't miss them there's a dominating presence this is, uh the kind of person that sort of asked the question who has the power here and how can I get it? Or how can I get the power who's in charge? How do I get to be in charge, whether it's of your family, a business? You know, I can't think of other examples, but no matter what the situation is, how can I run it? So this is that, as as you may recall, the people on the intuitive triad have anger as they're sort of, uh, default defence response to stress. So this is the kind type on on the system that is not afraid to get angry, something makes mad, I'm going to tell you about it, you won't have to fight that's awesome! Now we're getting somewhere um before we go on susan why why you starting with number? It just seems a bit random I know well nine is at the top is the core I'm looking at it because I'm seeing a diagram in my mind nine six and three are the corps types but rather than starting with nine I'm just starting with this triad and eight nine one but it's a good question of course thanks for clarifying its good question could've started with one but then we would immediately go into a different centre of intelligence so bear with me while we go this way so this is the kind of person that like I say is not afraid to get angry and you can't win the fight when you're in the fight with them they will win because it's the kind of person that when you ratchet up the stakes they will ratchet it up another step and if you bring the stakes up a little bit they will bring the stakes up even further and they can't I believe that our previous president george bush was this type never backed down always take it up a notch so you know it obviously can be a difficult but it can also be like because this person often sees themselves as the strongest person in the room and the reason they see themselves that way is because they are they can often take on a very nurturing and protective quality to those they perceive as weaker so if you're in their family and they love you that could be you if you're their employees and it's their business they would go to the wall for you you know if you it's a consulting client for you they want you to succeed even though you're the consultant in there the client so they can have a very protective quality and while they are very domineering I call this type the warrior because this is the type of all the types that will fight for you that will fight for what they believe in that will actually stand in harm's way to protect what and who they love and I don't know about you guys but I'm not capable of that we need people like this in our world who are willing to take a very strong position and not back down from kindness rather than aggression so the poison in this case is called lust and you'll see that the nine poisons are the seven deadly sins plus two and lust here doesn't just mean for sex it just means for whatever sex power, money, food whatever it is the person wants they want they has a lust for more it's like a larger than life kind of person and the medicine lust transforms into what in this system is called innocence which means not showing up in every situation with the thought how can I rule this how can I own it how can I dominated how can I control it but instead with just a kind of innocents kind of openness and a trust I will control when it's my time to control and I will let control go when it is not my time so the work for this communicator is to constantly be aware of that spectrum of lust two innocents the avoidance of course is weakness nobody wants to be weak and everybody tries to avoid feeling weak but for this type it's like an arrow through the heart it's like a death now it's like it means so much more to this person than it does to the rest of us so if you are trying to communicate with a warrior and they have screwed up so I made a mistake you have to tell them but be aware to that what they want to avoid is being seen as weak it doesn't mean you should pander to them and go oh you're so strong and it just happened to be this one little weird thing you did just be aware sensitive to their sensitivity to being seen as weak and just be ready be ready to accommodate that think about that let them know that that's not what's happening right here I'm not seeing telling you that you're weak I'm just telling you screwed this up makes sense so far the idealization of courses I am competent and this is the kind of person therefore that he's very hard to tell him they screwed up because that means they were incompetent in some way but you know, everybody's incompetent but for this person being seen as incompetent conveys a different kind of weight than it would for me for examples is not my type, so I am incompetent I am competent is like that's the best thing and if you say to them while you're so competent or you're so capable, you're so you could do anything that would mean something different to them than it would to me the talking style has a I put it in quotation marks because it's like a seventies aw phrase laying trips someone lays a trip on you and what that means is someone says, well, how was your programme about the talking styles we know was good but there's a place to go that's better? And she said some things well, but other things she really she really did why did you go to that class? Why did you pick that? Didn't you know that there was these three other classes with by these people who are like, you know, degree with degrees in the subject? Why did you do that? You know, that's an example of laying a trip on someone? Of course it doesn't sound very pleasant um but when you I'm sure we've all worked with people like that that no matter what you tell him that like what did you think? What who would do it that way? Well, you might be talking to one of these people it doesn't mean that it's okay for them to lay a trip on you, it just means you like okay, I got my eye on you you may be a warrior you may be capable of gestures of strength and power that I am not capable of slash. You might be a jerk right now so there's this a whole big area and what I'm trying to say is each of the types has tremendous positives and also dark sides. So does this make sense so far if you have any questions, please just raise your hand and if people who are listening if you have any questions, please um put them in chat because or twitter because I want to be sure to answer them so moving on now we come to the core of the intuitive triad the ninth type and this is the type that is numb to its own instincts. So when you camp find your own instincts anybody khun talk you into anything so you can see this is the kind that can see all points of view that's why I call it the intermediary they can see when you're saying talking to me about what you believe in say we're saying who believes in god and you start talking about what you think if I'm this type, I'm going to make sense yeah that's that's right? And then you say the opposite and that this type of persons going that makes sense too that's why I can see that that's that's right? So it's just this constant uh adopting of the point of view of whoever is talking and of course when it is uh when this person has not taken their seat as it were in their interior life, it just looks kind of whoa, they're all over the place but when they have taken their seat when they have embraced who they are and found their heart and figured out basically who they are and can still see everyone's point of view well, this is a very profound skill this person could be almost like a saint because they can be who they are, but they can see you and you and you and you everybody. So I don't know if this is true, but I think our current president is this type, so obviously they're not like space cadets um and this has nothing to do with anybody's politics or anything like that, but the reason I think that is because I read about an article once about how he conducts air conducted because it's pretty five years ago cabinet meetings or meetings and the way he does it is he sits down everyone's around the table that issue comes up what do you think? What do you think? What do you think what do you think everyone says their peace he goes from ask questions whatever this person says black that person says white he says you said black you said white what's up work it out he listens to them here's everyone's perspective and then this is the key part he leaves goes into his oval office I suppose comes back with his decision which is very much a hallmark of this type who can't find their own position amidst everyone else's have to go and get by themselves to quiet down to find what that position is and then they can uh express it to you so the poison is called sloth it doesn't mean they're lazy bums obviously it's their lazy about their own agenda because of the type that has finds it hard to hold on to their own agenda like what was like why was I doing this? What was my purpose? What was my goal? Why was I doing this again so it's a mind that short of me anders so my my stepson is a nine and if I say to him something like did you register for your classes for this semester who would say like, oh yeah, well, I was going to and then I started looking through the course descriptions and I realized that I didn't want to do this when I wanted to do that one and then I remembered that this person had taken it, so I was like, I haven't talked to them in a while, so it's like the coats and the party, so I'll call them and while I was on my, you know, while I was picking up my phone to call them, I was like, I need a new phone, this phone is out of, you know, I think I'm due for a new phone let me go to the, uh, phone store and get the new phone. So in other words, you never really hear the answer. Did you register for those classes? There's this whole sort of saga arises, which is the talking style we'll get to that in a second. So obviously the opposite of this sloth is right action, meaning they're no longer lacey about their own agenda, but they're able to take action, right? Action around what they want, who they are, what they believe what's important to them and and while, uh, the sort of default defense here is anger because nines are numb, they don't know they're angry, so they rarely get angry they rarely seem angry but they are but it's the avoidance for this type is conflict and one way to avoid having a conflict is to avoid having a point of view because the second you have a point of view you could have a conflict but if you never have a point position no conflict so the avoidance is conflict and the idealization is I am comfortable everything's fine I'm cool no problems here everything's fine most people would want us think I am comfortable but not everyone thinks oh that's the ideal way to live some people might think I don't think I am knowledgeable I am special I am competent might be better but this person's like the best thing you could ever be comfortable things air cool we're chilling and the talking style is called saga which I just sort of gave you the example of with the did you register the will? I did this but they needed that there is often a sense of like I don't get it is it a yes or a no? What are you saying here? So it's I happen to know of this person I mean not just my stepson but I've had relationships with people that were at this there's a very often a very playful sweet quality of let's go okay this is fine, this is awesome! They're funny, they're sweet they're nice everybody can be funny and sweet and nice, but there's a particular sweetness in this, uh, position, I'd say more so than the others make sense. Any questions? Uh, does this person kind off works without a plan? The sea like means just open to apportion it is whatever presidents and just himself or herself accordingly, does this person won't work without a plan just open toe opportunity? Maybe it's not a hallmark and it's? Not not a hallmark, some some of that I mean, I think our president has a plan and you know, a schedule and so forth. If he is a nine, I don't know, but they may or may not, but whatever it is, they're easily sort of distracted and they don't want to confront, so you can see the obvious difference between our two presidents. Now we go to the third and final type on the intuitive triad, and if you were thinking you might be on the intuitive triad, start thinking, does any any any of these three sound like me? They don't have to sew the final one? I call the crusader it's, where all of the intuitive energy goes in, so I'm not going to express myself, I am going to take in what I think, and I'm going to hold it. What I believe, what I know it's not necessary, that their secretive or withholding it's, just that all of this sort of incent intuitive energy, which has a lot of life force, goes in, and it creates a sort of volatile inner environment, and this is the kind of person who has what in buddhism is called comparing mind which means within this person's mind there's a very clear sense of right and wrong. This is how we do it. This is how we don't do it, and they're checking external circumstances constantly against that inner picture and and then saying, ok, now we have a match. Oh, now we don't have a match, okay, this is a match that's, not a match, so they're constantly comparing what is happening in their world toe what they think should be happening, and so it's a kind of person who can be very sometimes persnickety on one hand. But on the other hand, this is a kind of person who is so trustworthy that you could take them to the bank. They're not going to do the wrong thing, they can't do the wrong thing. They are ultimately the most trustworthy people that you could ever find and who in this world does not want to have relationships with people who are eminently trustworthy. I know this energy very well my husband and my mother are both ones and so I feel like I have a sense of us I know what's difficult about them and I know what it's wonderful about them and I can say from experience that what isthe wonderful is that they cannot tell a lie and the rest of us can so there's a beauty in being trustworthy I think martin luther king was a one they will literally take a bullet for what they think is right I won't the other eight of us much less likely to do that so they can that's why call them crusader? They will face certain dangers in the name of right uh the poison is anger when all of the sensing energy goes in instead of the anger going out like it is does in the eighth type it goes in so there's a sense of tremendous self criticism and judgment of everything. So if you, uh I'm sure we all have a lot of self criticism and if you do something horrible and and you're just mortified and you spend like days or weeks going how could I do that? Why did I do that? That is a common feeling for this person they often feel that on the inside this kind of mortification the medicine of course is serenity when they can take their own who they are I don't have to be angry some things can be right some things could be wrong I'm cool kind of serenity arises and it's powerful the idealization is I am correct so I think I was telling you earlier but my husband is getting all is he fit about something and I just say what you know you're right he's like I am it kind of he can't help it it sort of makes him go oh ok everything's ok that and then we laugh usually the talking style is called preaching how did you like your class on communication styles? Well, you know that's only one way of looking at it and there are five other ways of looking at it that way are actually really important for you to understand and if you on ly look at this one way of doing it the chances that you're going to miss you misunderstand people are very great my being a preacher right now okay, so that that's the talking style so when you hear someone like that in your workplace or in your home this is not how we do it around here you might start to think maybe there this time this was the self criticism this communication no class but obviously this one part is this how we communicate with ourselves so I was just curious um with this one maur if someone was that type, how do they where has that aspect of the self criticism? Whatever type how does one try toe deal with that that's a really interesting question and and I don't know the answer but the question let me rephrase to make sure I understand for a profess ignorance um communication with yourself if it's somehow rooted in this typing, is there a way that you can change or alter the way you communicate with yourself? Is that the question right? Especially if it's like you know, a self criticism was again a very good question and and sure you can change it, but it starts with self awareness first knowing that this is what you're doing and for most of us that's the hardest step to take like you just think, oh, I'm just an ass and I screw everything up that's the truth rather than I'm so hard on myself and it's just a habitual pattern of mind and I'm really not that bad it's hard to make that leap just using this type is an example, but it's just a hard for all the types from this is the truth about me to this is a weird trip on laying on myself so once you develop that kind of awareness and the self criticism starts to amp up, whether you this type or any type of self criticism is so poisonous and we all suffer from the illness of self criticism but when you're aware of it and a red flag and sort of start to go off the pole then you could maybe intercede and go well, wait a minute am I really that screwed up or is this a habitual pattern so yes, you can always alter it and I just want to say one other thing about self talk because this is not related to what you said but only in that it is about self talk sometimes when I'm not sure which which type of my dealing with I noticed myself talk myself talk changes especially notice it when I'm around a person who is ah warrior the eight I start too late trips on myself I start to be really mean to myself I start to be going where you don't really know that much and who are you to say that and and when I'm with them and so I go first I go home maybe I am a loser but then I started going maybe there that's what's in their head, not mine. So notice how yourself talk changes when you're around different people and that might be a clue to what's happening with them rather than something that's happening to you so this basically is the intuitive communicators and I want to pause here and see if there are any questions out there and I would love to answer them and also as you are listening or watching if you just wouldn't mind just typing that's me the eighth type, the first type, whatever it is, I would be interested in hearing when all is said and done what the makeup of our audiences zohar um, they're asking, can there be conflict between people that fall within the same triad? But they're actually different types of communicators, for example, between a warrior and a crusader, absolutely zohar, there can be conflicts between anyone, and I would say that, you know, if we're looking for which types fight the most or which types of the most compatible, anyone can fight with anyone and anyone could be compatible with anyone. So it's really there's no like compatibility charts or anything like that. But it does seem that for certain types in the same triad, because there were versions of each other that there could be particular opportunity for misunderstanding, and I'm not sure why the more we are similar to someone, the more after we are to have a misunderstanding with them. But certain people reflect unclaimed parts of ourselves more readily, and they can cause strange psychological things to happen. So the sort of short answer is no, but the longer answers maybe cover all my bases. We have ah, cameron, ninety, cameron, ninety one says, I think I'm a warrior. I've noticed that I always feel incompetent and weak when other people correct me to protect myself. I always try to be confident which can intimidate people, but by no means is that my goal. I find this especially difficult being in college, it makes it hard to talk with other warriors or professors and bosses. I love to know how I can improve and not make other people feel small. What's the person's name again, cameron ninety one camera ninety one ninety well, first camera ninety one that is a very kind question and a lovely question, and if the two year type is the laying trips type the warrior type, what you've already done is a giant step towards where you want to go, which is recognizing your style and the impact it has on others. And what I don't hear in your question is very important because what I don't hear is what's wrong with them, and I'm just telling the truth and they're getting intimidated. How could I make them be tougher? That's not what you're asking, which would be the wrong question? The right question is, how can I help people feel more comfortable around me? And that's great so there are a number of things you can do one is you khun if if you're close to them you can ask them you can say I I noticed that when we had this kind of interaction and I did thus and such I felt you back away from me was I right because I don't want to do that because I care about you and I care about us there's anyone that you can have that kind of conversation with just go right to it be very frank and asked the question in a gentle way meaning enabling them to give any answer and then just bring your awareness of this dynamic out into your life fearlessly and as a warrior you are capable of fearlessness in a way that is more direct than the rest of us so notice it be aware of what triggers you which you already are as you say and try to become a little bit playful with your own reactions to people so when you notice that you're about to say something that typically in the past has made people feel intimidated catch yourself and even if it seems like that's not gonna happen this time try something a little bit different try not saying anything try saying something very softly that you might have said loudly or loudly that you might have said softly bring your creativity to this investigation and you will learn what works? And most of all, just hold that question. How can I help make other people feel more comfortable close to you? And then good will result? I think their attention was in the right place, so that advice probably helps a lot. I've got a question here from valerie, I think was with us. So the earliest second welcome back, valerie saying I'm in this bermuda triad um are there types I need to avoid? Like if I'm interviewing for a job, what is that? What a type is bad to be in power over other types, and what kind of questions will reveal their type? Well, the type of the type that is bad what how did she phrase it? Who is it bad to be? What? How are over aside? The type that is bad to be in power over others is the type that doesn't know their type is the type that lacks self awareness that's a bad person to be in power, empowered over anybody, so we all have our good qualities. We have our bad qualities, we all have our anger and we have our avoidance of anger and whatever it might be, but the only thing that really frightens us in another person, I know this is a bold statement, but I'm staying with it is unlike of consciousness on their part that is what actually terrifies us more than you're too aggressive and you're too passive what scares us the most is lack of awareness on the other person's part so that is a good reason to be scared because all bets are off one self awareness is not present you can't trust you can't trust the situation so questions that you could ask that would um reveal type you know as you learned this system you will learn what those questions are but trust me as you learned the system you will not need to ask questions eventually everyone you talk to tells you their type they tell it to you they say I don't I'm not saying this about any of you they say I need to be needed or I problems bum me out and I only like ideas they will actually say those things to you and in our next session later we're going to actually invite some of you up here to talk about what you think your style is I'm really looking forward to that and hopefully people who are listening and watching teo reflect with their styles are and when the person starts talking you will hear the type so there are no questions is the shorter there's a long winded way of saying there are no questions to ask but I have to do is listen and the type will you will you will hear the type from the person themselves students here there's anybody who has any questions at this point, they liketo ask, this is a great opportunity, good, or thinking it over, but I definitely think of things coming comes up. I got a question from power, um, powerball. Some clarification. Here is the idea to embrace and accept who we are and learn to relate to others as they are, or should we be attempting to know there's your answer? Yes, that's it that's, everything, learning who you are and learning who others are. Everything else takes care of itself, so that is really this is about self knowledge. And as I said earlier, there is no type that is best. Unless you're one, then you're the best that's what I tell my husband.