Challenges in Boudoir
Let's, go forth and conquer. Okay, so I gave you guys toolboxes. Now you have a toolbox everywhere you go, you can say ok, how the general is about toolbox. How'm I gonna use it there's going to be hurdles that you face all the time. I still face hurdles all the time every day hurdles how'm I gonna run my business and be in seattle at the same time you know, hurdles. How am I gonna prepare for creative life and still give my clients the attention they need the attention they need hurdles are always coming up hurdles are not always bad. Sometimes they're good, good things come your way how are you gonna balance all of it? We're gonna talk about some of those hurdles and if you guys want to mention specific hurdles if I didn't mention it, I tried to gather I actually asked on the facebook page hey, does anybody have any hurdles? They want me to dress? I think the threat is still going for, like, three weeks ago. Uh, so we'll just talk about some that I that I've thought about and these a...
re not just really shooting in business hartal, these air life hurdles, this is a lonely industry, isn't it? I mean, not every day is like creative live and this is part of what I don't want to leave because it's like camp and you're like I'm surrounded by love and people that understand me in this industry and this is part of why we get together conventions and we say hey, and I'll see you in vegas in three weeks, right? And I'll I'll see you going here you're going to there because we need a place to gather together but when we're home and we're alone and we're spending hours alone at night editing and calling and and trying to figure it out, it could be so lonely and I went through that two people in my life don't understand um, horny ok you people don't understand and I feel really lonely and this is the thing it doesn't have to be a lonely industry you guys now we'll have each other you have me, I have you it's not lonely anymore, period, whether you have somebody in your town or just somebody you can connect with online, it doesn't have to be lonely they're probably going to kill me, but I have some pictures of some of my favorite photographer ends uh the's four girls minus our fifth girlfriend on top uh where you know be the one to call each other the quad these are my girls, I talked about everything I don't practically click the shutter without asking them what they think about first they're my mirrors they're my support when I was on day one of creative live and I finished my hour and a half I ran into the room and let me see my girlfriends or say because I said to them this is our deal if I'm not awesome don't tell me I'm awesome tell me what I need to fix and I knew they were gonna be honest with me they come up with promotions for may I come up with promotions for them we help each other out we give each other business we love each other they're my girls I could always trust them and yes, some of them even collide two of them are wedding photographer so there are they in competition though no because they're so different so they can help each other they second chute for each other they support each other my friend brian with the muscles down here I mean he is constantly telling me how amazing I am and I'm constantly telling him how amazing he is even when we write to each other than we go I suck I'm gonna throw my camera at the window I don't even deserve this camera but least help support each other and keep each other up and he shoots food wine and he shoots it in my neighborhood sometimes in my studio but I don't care because he's so different than I am and he's gonna do different things so we can we can combine our forces who's my friend trevor who is in arizona he's an awesome wedding photographer and he got him to I got him this job I was photo I was being uncle bob here I was actually at the wedding but it was one of my friend's wedding in california and it's like I'm bringing my camera but he's great, you know? And he and I talk a lot and we talk about you know hey, what do you want to know? What do yu up tio so find people you can connect with it is not easy. It took me about three and a half years to find people I could really trust that I know had my best interests at heart, but these people definitely d'oh it doesn't have to be lonely, tracy, those people that are not being nice to you up in canada screw them. You have new people that you're friends with now that are gonna lift you up to be a better person from exactly work life balance. This is not an easy one way to see my kids tomorrow um shoot it's okay to admit that you can't do it all okay, I spent a million nights by myself in the dark editing and trying to build my business and putting my kids to sleep or rushing to put my kids to sleep because I knew I had work to do, and I don't want to do that anymore, so I made changes in my life. But it's okay to admit that you can't do it all and not always be balanced just nowhere you need to be at the time don't let things like childhood or you're adorable pets get in the way of what you need to do and don't, um you know, don't let them hold you back from you. What you what you want to do, but don't let what you want to do hold you back for being with me there this's, my studio, you know, my my daughter shirt as a camera have fun. Ok, so schedule I don't leave myself open for emails and phone calls twenty four seven I used to like in the beginning when I wanted those were into girls. If you want to shoot any time of day or night that you had an email question at three in the morning, I was gonna answer you. I suffer from insomnia, so I'm often up at night and I'll just answer emails, but I don't do it anymore. Because I want to be treated like a business okay I can't call my doctor three in the morning I get an answering service my doctor doesn't answer I can't call nordstrom's at two o'clock in the morning and say hey, I'm having a shopping fixed can you open for me? You know it's just just what about the way it works so I keep business hours and I make it clear and I helped myself by putting it on my e mails my automatic response hi thank you so much for e mailing me my normal business hours are ten to five monday through friday if you wrote to me after hours I'll definitely get back to you within twenty four to forty eight hours if you don't hear from me after that certainly remind me because obviously something's wrong with me but this is my schedule often my phone will ring eight o'clock tonight my husband says banter it's business no it's family I know so it's okay to keep ours it's okay your client I used to think like if I didn't respond to my client in five minutes you're gonna go book somebody else now I know better now I know that if I wait and that client doesn't get a response right away and she really wants me she's not gonna go book some videos and if you book somebody else and that's okay so set yourself up like a business that's just the first step, the first contact they should know I'm a business he's in my hours. Give me my family time outsourcing and thank you for my friend for my friend jen. I like photography took this picture of us, uh, outsourcing, outsourcing, everything you don't have the time for our good at or just plain don't like to do I outsource my bookkeeping, my accounting. I wouldn't understand the first thing about doing taxes for my business, and I don't want to learn I don't want to put the time in the effort into learning it's always changing its confusing it's boring no offense, tracy it's boring traces down um, I don't wanna learn that something outsource it. I obviously outsource editing. We discussed that, okay? I'm sick of spending those late nights in my office by myself in the dark I want to be in bed, sleeping or with my husband or playing with my children and not worrying about okay, get to bed so I could go start editing, so I give evolve all my business. Now, as far as dating is concerned, I want to talk about I don't know if I mentioned briefly before, but how you choose your vendors. Don't just willy nilly find a vendor, they have the cheapest price. That's what? I'm going to dio create relationships. This is about intimacy. Remember for me, that's important. I want to know I can trust somebody I can trust, evolve. I know they're not sending my pictures to india, and then I'm not gonna go to into one day and see one of my girls on a billboard, ok? Because they just sold my pictures that I kept my pictures it's a little different with weddings is different with children or whatnot with boudoir. You have to be really careful who you're sending her images to. Your women are trusting you, okay? Trust who you're sending them to. I trusted ball when I definitely highly recommend them, and the time that they've given back to me, I really appreciate. And is it expensive to send out your editing? What? Not? Not? If you building it's your price, you're charging for it, and you included in your price, and you figure all that out what's the difference? Why you sitting around doing it all the time? Unless you need to learn or you really love a certain job, and there might be certain jobs like these images that we just took today, I'll probably do myself, because I'm very you know they're a little more creative it's my concept or it's florence concept, but it was my shoot I want to have a little more control over those images, but I might send them to evolve for basic at it and then do some creative that it's on my own. You guys were talking about this image before and, you know, I entered for competition, but I didn't edit it myself involved in this is but the competition image looks like, which I think is supposed to be anonymous and now is no longer but that's okay? Um they just signature at it said he wanted to create at creative at its for you, they well, you just have to communicate with them and teach them what you want I'll do it for you, so I love them. I definitely recommend it, and if I didn't have an intimate connection with them and trust them, I would never sit here and recommend them yeah that's what I said already, but the amazing thing is that I am still I'm getting more work life balance now, but I'm still maintaining control over my images I didn't give that up and that's really important so is not where I'm getting the images back and have to rework them and they're so annoying and it's not what I usually deliver to my client it's it's great comes back and that's it it's done so I didn't have my biggest fear was when I started out, so I said I was gonna lose control. So again, I outsource besides editing, bookkeeping and accounting, and like we've said, even shopping, I really don't have time to go shopping anymore. So when I need something, I'll call my personal shopper and she does it for me. It sounds so stupid, innit? Sound spoiled, but the thing is it's free and she just saved me three hours wandering around the mall of my two kids and making you want to kill that and I got what I needed and it took only a half an hour. But it's, this is real life, right? This is what it's like I mean, not most of it you don't know because you're not mom's, but going to the mall with children is not a fun experience. I'd better have a root canal. Uh, nowhere to shoot. This is not a challenge is just an excuse, so I don't have anywhere to shoot. I'm going, teo, maybe I took that out, maybe I left it in, I don't know where to shoot turning negative we're going to talk about that again with this, but turning negatives into positives. All right a conversation with the niece so my friend's niece I'm sure she's out there I don't know if she's watching but she might kill me but my friend's in these over an hour's ana called me one day and she she just was like jen I don't want to do I want to get who would want to be my business I don't want to shoot weddings anymore I have no where to shoot I don't have a studio everybody has a studio I have this they have that I don't know what to do and I said to her you know what you need every single negative you just gave me weaken turn around as a positive where you want to shoot well I'd love to shoot in my garage but it's messy in my seventeen year old his home and I don't know what to do okay first so if you really wanted clean up the garage and kick your seventeen year old out not of the house but for the afternoon I'm sure he would love to go play basketball with his friends down the street let him know listen these hours this is what I need from you well do me a favor stay in your room do your homework for these hours or let's work something out he's not five years old right he's seventeen so let's put that aside for a second let's just say you're shooting out of your bedroom where you're shooting out of the hotel we'll find a place for you to shoot but she says me everybody else here has a studio awesome so let's use it to your advantage let's say to your clients I realized that I don't have a studio but that allows me to customize the experience for you even more instead of coming to a studio that looks the same for everybody we're going to figure out which hotel you want to shoot at I will give you an option or we will um work on airbnb and I customized the location based on what you're looking for all of a sudden it sounds really awesome not to have a studio right and now you're different than everybody else in your town it's kind of like residential studio right instead of being like I shoot out of my basement shoot out of my resident studio it's how you phrase it and how you um how do you plan to see it? You know she says what I tell them I don't have a studio no stop saying that that's negative don't give your client's negative things I don't have a studio but that allows me to customize the session for you I purposely don't have a studio studio stifle me true but it's true and my lying my studio stifles me sometimes that's why I like to go out on location how could you make what's going on that you perceive his negative into something positive you know, when appliances meal I don't really want to go out and buy the laundry you don't have anything on hand there no, I mean it's not sanitary. Why would why would you want to wear somebody else's underwear? Okay, I'll go buy it myself it's how you you tell them? Is that how they perceive it? And you need to be careful about being positive and turn it around and make it something positive for yourself? I don't know where to begin e think some of you probably are feeling that where do I begin? It's really very simple. Just start at the beginning for make a list prioritize start with the first thing what's the most important to you what is gonna make the biggest impact on your business right now? What happens is people come to workshops, I've seen it over and over and over. I mean, people instructors talkabout this often I maybe I should I'm like, you know, giving out of industry secret here. I don't know, but they talked often about people who take their workshops and they see people feverishly taking notes, listening and then they do the same workshop three months later in that same person is back because they don't know how to put it into action put it into action even if you do if you leave here with a list of twelve things that you want to fix in your business, make yourself a goal I'd like to do three by the end of the year you have to do all twelve picked the first three that you want to do the three days is gonna make the biggest difference for you the three that will make you feel like you got your money's worth you know, whatever those three things are picked three and just start there when you're done with those three but just know it's never gonna be done there is never a finish line I have a list of home of things I want to change about my business I have constant lists, I'd like a list lover I'd love lists I'm always making less but I want to change my shooting but I want to change my marketing because I want to change when I'm speaking I'll probably watches to go I need to change this and I need to change that and everything is always about change in our business so don't be afraid of it just embrace it and go for it I don't have the right here this is my favorite I don't have a good a good camera I don't have all the lights that she has, I don't have the backdrops that this one has no cares let me tell you what I have I have a million lenses I have a million I owe more than one camera I have a ton of lights let me tell you what I need bike could only take five things to my shoes I would take my body by twenty four to seventy my eighty five my ice light and a factor that's all I need I don't need any fancy fabric I don't need a ton of lingerie I don't need fifty eight lenses I don't need a ton of things if somebody said to me listen you need to get rid of all your stuff except these five things I could shoot for the rest of my life is it nice to have a lens baby totally I love my lens baby is a great to have a macro lens yeah I love my macro lens did I really need it no I bought it during that time when I was like well I have to have everything everybody else has or I'm not going to be the best photographer in the world but I didn't really need it from being honest I don't use it I could probably sell it anybody looking for a match for like uh the tools that you need to make your business and make your photography work are in your toolbox not in your camera bag all you need are these but most of your tools are not tangible you're not going to go buy them. The confidence is not tangible, but you need it to be a really good photographer and a good business person. Your backbone is not tangible, but you need it to run a good business. These are the tools, the posing, dealing with clients. These air things are any toolbox now combating the negative people in your life, the people who don't understand I love this quote, don't get sidetracked by people who are not on track, what you think about that people are not on the same track and don't have the same interest that you and don't want you to do well, get them out of your life, lockem defend them. I went through before I came here. I went through my friends on facebook and I knew that they were particular people on my friends list that tend to be haters. They loved to go on and take the creative live instructors or whoever puts out a video, and they make fun of them and they they poke them. And I said, you know what? I have to defend these people because I don't want to go back onto facebook leaving here feeling awesome and seeing all these people wreck me, I just don't, because I don't really care and it's only gonna make me feel bad. But I don't care, I don't care what they think I am caring about the people who want to hear what I have to say and the lives that I'm changing and that I can inspire, I don't care about the feeders, so just get him out of your life sometimes. It's not so easy, it might be our family or close friends. It just don't understand and it's okay to say them listen, you might not understand, but just support just believe in me just support just communicate with them, and if they don't understand, that just won't talk to them about it, you know, that's it. I know there's a lot of haters. Uh, well, food wars, I mean, I moved out of my last house, my neighbor, I overheard my neighbor say to somebody, all at least we're getting not soft porn photographer off the street. Really? You think I'm a soft porn photographer? You're a little confused as to what porn is, but I don't really care because I know that I'm changing women's lives, she doesn't get it, not everybody's going to get it, and if you're not sure this was a conversation like how to tell somebody what you d'oh, you need to practice it. You need teo teo. Figure it out first, though. Good morning with tommy, she struggles with this. You need to figure it out. Lauren, you haven't figured out what you do yet you're not a boudoir photographer. You're not just a photographer. You you have a bigger purpose. You just don't know what it is yet. So work on that it's. Okay, part of what I do with jeff is coming up with an elevator speech, so when somebody says, what do you do? You have a very clear and concise answer, but it doesn't happen overnight. I like to make something called a vision board. We're here we go again with pinterest, you could make an inspirational pinterest board there's a million things on pinterest thatyou could the million quotes and positive things and montrose that you can say and and great things and why don't you post them all on the board? And when you're feeling down and confused and you're not really sure you go to pinterest and you say, well, look at all these positive messages find positive people to be around. I like this vision board it's not something I've done in a while, but I did it in the beginning where I like to vision what I want. So if I knew I wanted to be on creative live right? And but I'm not the type of person to go hey, creative life can I be on your show? So I want creative life to come to where I wanted to work with a certain client or I want my pictures to look a certain way I creative vision board, that's something I'll put in my office it's like a corkboard or whatever you want to use, and I put things on it that are reminiscent of those things. So for example, maybe I would print out of course page on from the creative live webs, and I put it on the board and then I would put on the board, I don't know unwarranted that I wouldn't want to win or, you know, whatever you want for your life, whatever successes for you or you know, whatever you're looking for to doing when I was training for a half marathon, I would put like a finish line up there so I could always picture that finish line, and every time I looked at that board and help me picture the finish, I want a picture what it looks like to get these things I want in my life, I believe envisioning what you want, so I created this vision board it would remind me when I forgot it would be in front of me every day and it made me think about it every single day and a night before I go to bed a picture like I'm the night before I was on a picture okay what is being on creative I've looked like for me what I want the reaction to be and I picture it to be that way a picture it not oh my god it would be terrible I can't believe no I'm gonna be awesome it's hard to do it goes against our green you know it to be like okay, I'm gonna do this and I'm gonna rocket this and people are gonna love me and I'm gonna change lives but if I don't believe in myself how could I expect anybody else to if you can't tell somebody strongly this is what I do and I'm proud of it and I'm changing women's lives and I have a purpose on this earth then why would I expect them to understand that? Well believe in it you have to believe in yourself setting boundaries and saying no way definitely discussed that e I just wantto want to remind you you are the boss you're the boss of your business you're the boss of your life we all have made excuses in our entire life that it's somebody else's fault all of us and this does not just apply to photography but it certainly does when you said to me why does my client I want to buy that day? I immediately come to myself like I said, when I'm having problems with other people I come back to myself it's not her fault what am I doing wrong to get the wrong response from that person? How could I get a different response from that person? What am I doing? I'm going to take responsibility because the thing is you can't control what anybody else does the entire world you can only control yourself set your boundaries okay you always to yourself, tracy, you really dio because if you don't respect yourself and you don't respect your time and you don't respect your art, your clients will never do that do that you have to respect it first male shooter's so even over the past few days everybody on facebook is like I guess I can't be a boudoir photographer because I'm a guy that is such garbage it's so not true first of all so many of the photographers for maxim and playboy and all these other amazing magazines wrong men there's something about a male photographer my husband said to me, listen, you're next boudoir session I really want you to be shot by a guy I want to see you from a guy's perspective what I do is change women's lives but maybe from a male shooter's pointing to its little more about sex, about sexuality or you know about um portraying that's my husband like that you know, a little more raw there's a guy on my facebook page, a facebook group craig craig lanier is at his last name she's a six shooter he's very talented he's posting pictures in there all the time he doesn't let a guy stopped being a guy stopped him I don't even think it's on his radar and the girls are like oh my god greg you're gonna be a day that's what you should me maybe I asked him to but everybody's kind of all over him I just love your images will you shoot me? I don't even care they don't care that he's a guy he's creating something that they want to look like don't let it stop you just because you're a guy it's crazy it's like if you're no if you're worried about being the guy then they're gonna worry about you but if you're like yeah, I'm a guy and I shoot boudoir and I'm really good at it and this is what you're gonna look like they're gonna be like whatever you you know if you're concerned get a female in the room with you have a female assistant have your makeup artist day whatever it might be but please don't let being a guy stop you because you see women in a different way than women see women and it's very special and most women cannot see other women that way it's just impossible we have different brains so please my friend brian great boudoir shooter great I mean he does stuff and I'm like oh my god borrow your eyes and your brain really good day I don't understand how do you see women like that when he and I shoot together we see totally different things and annoys me we don't want to see what you see but I can't because I'm a woman so don't let it don't let it stop you be aware there's different rules like we said no touching maybe have a woman with you be clear in your communication but certainly don't let self doubt it's kind of all fits together it's all kind of the same but different this is a quote I want you guys remember doubt kills more dreams than failure ever will it's really powerful when you think about it how many times have you stopped yourself from trying something just because you don't think you can do it I've done it and to any more because I'm fearless now but how many times you do it you've done it we've all done it how do you stopping yourself? Why you putting boundaries on yourself? You know ruin you really think about it when we were kids we thought we could do anything I mean it's kind of how we got in trouble look I just spent all day watching make his making sure they don't kill themselves that's pretty much my job I called myself like I'm on suicide watch because my kids just tried to kill themselves all day because they think they can fly they think they can climb as high as they want to climb they can jump on the bed as high as they want to jump if they could do whatever they want so when did we teach ourselves or when did we change in our life that we think we can't do things but it happens to all of us to really think positive affirmations you know we want to make sure that we we know we can do things I'd rather try and fail than not try you know what if I said to joanne listen to and this the style I shoot I'm really scared not gonna lie and I don't really know what to do how am I gonna make small I don't think I could do it I'm not familiar with the space and I don't know if I have the right lens there's gonna be people watching me I'm really nervous what if viewers hated I mean I could have come up with a thousand excuses but instead I said you know what let's just wing it we'll just figure it out and if I stink that's real life and if I'm good that's real life too it is, but I'm not, but I would rather do that, and no, ok, we rocked it, or we stunk at it, and I could sleep tonight knowing at least I tried it instead of tomorrow. Being on the plane going, I wonder what it would have been like if I had actually done that shoot, but people have liked it more. Would it have been more effective? I'll never know.