Financial Red Flags
now this concept of financial red flags, I do want to keep reiterating that I do not consider debt a deal breaker. So I'm not saying that all of a sudden you have this open honest conversation realized like they have student loans were done. That's not what I am saying. But how a partner has handled past screw ups and is maybe getting on a better financial path today. Maybe it's been two or three years since any of those behaviors happened. That really should be more of an indicator for you about whether or not that's a red flag. However, there are some warning signs that I do want you to look out for when you either have these conversations or just generally in your relationship one is they always dismiss your request to talk about finance. It depends on how they dismiss it. So if you do tend to talk about money and then they're like, can we stop, we're talking about this all the time. That's a little bit different than saying, I don't think it's your business. I don't want to talk ab...
out it. You've never once gotten financially naked. You have no idea of their overall financial situation. I won't consider joint bank accounts. I hesitate to put this one on here sometimes because it's totally okay if couples decide to bank separately. I am not saying that that's the only way to bank as a couple. But I am saying what's the reason refuses to share a credit score a report. Now this can be very natural in the beginning, especially if there's some bad negative history on there. And that is one of those times where it's important to say like, hey, if there's been a slip up, but you know, you're working really hard to rehabilitate it. That's okay. Let's talk about it. Let's work together. Let's be accountable who are one another. But if they keep refusing to share, it's probably because there's negative information on there that could be worrisome. The other thing is you might even be in a committed relationship or married to the other person and they might be refusing to share because there's some financial abuse and infidelity going on. They might be applying for things that you're unaware of. They might own something or have some debt that they never have disclosed. And that's the reason I do put that on there as a warning sign. They get calls from collections agencies. This is usually a big flag that something is up if they're keep being collection agency calls. So you want to be able to have a conversation about it and disclose and talk about why that's there. How can we handle it uses payday loans and title loans for short term money needs. This is of course indicating what the overall financial situation is. You also want to make sure that your partner is able to break out of and you as a couple are not relying on predatory lending for your short term financial needs uses cash advances on credit cards, very similar really to going towards a payday lender, technically usually is a little bit cheaper because it is an annualized interest rate. But it's another way to have a short term financial situation covered. So if they keep turning to a cash advance, it's an indication that money is not being handled very well or that there is a persistent problem that the two of you need to address together.