How Your Body Reacts
all right? So hopefully everyone in the audience looked at some of their self diagnosis. So that is the first part of increasing your influence. Is figuring out what does your body naturally do in its low confidence state and what does it naturally do in its high confidence state? This helps me help you keep your body language authentic, right? So you're not just doing things that don't come natural to you, it keeps you in. Oh, I already do this naturally. So what I had everyone do was take out their self diagnosis chart. This is freeing your bonus materials. So if you want to grab that and I would love to talk about hopefully over the last in between the last two segments, you looked at how your body reacts when you are in low confidence and I asked you to think about your most embarrassing moment. So I turn to you guys in the audience back home. What did you do when you think about your low confidence moment? What does your body want to do with itself? So we helped Sarah with her as ...
max, haven't you? Very similar to a body gestures that both of you describe. But my heart tends to just kind of clench and I definitely come forward and I'm very ashamed. So I definitely bring my head down because I don't want anyone to see me. I don't want to be a part of the world. Exactly, and that is the universal gesture of defeat that we talked about, right? We actually go into the sort of defeated body language. We want to protect ourselves from this horrible moment that happened. Um, anyone else have some interesting or different by language accused that happened. Um, when they were thinking about their embarrassing moment, my heart like goes almost off the charts and it's just like fast, as fast, as fast as my eyes get really big and I'm like, you know, right? So you actually have a physiological response to that. You can feel your heart rate go. Most people start sweating and then your eyes going that deer, deer in the headlights of like, oh my gosh, I can't believe I'm in this. Which is exactly what happens when people are very embarrassed. So step one with self diagnosis. Now let's talk about how to harness that high power body language. What is the first body part? You notice when you meet someone? So she, what do you think is the first body part you noticed? Trying to think? Um, we first see someone. My first thing was ice. Okay. I think that's what is eyes other, Where else do you look as everyone else eyes are? Where else do you think you look? First mouth? Mouth. Okay. Yeah. Thinking of Hello. Right. The faces a whole. So those are the most common answers. Actually the first place we look is the hands. And this comes from back in our caveman days. Um, when we were cavemen, we and we were approached by a stranger caveman to keep ourselves safe. The first place we looked was their hands to see if they were carrying a weapon. So we still have this as a self protection guard to check someone's hands to make sure their friend or foe. So actually when you first meet someone, the first place you look is their hands, which is kind of interesting that everyone says eyes, mouth, face, and that is the second place that you look. But first typically you check someone's hands very, very quickly when you look at people's eye patterns, um where they go, when they meet someone to look at a picture, they almost always go down to the hands. Subconsciously they say that they didn't look, but they do and that's to protect ourselves to see what they're holding. So what's interesting about hands is they are our trust indicators. So I would love you to pull out your laws of body language sheet. This is our sixth law of body language. So again, laws of body language is for free and our bonus materials. So the law of the hands is to increase trustworthiness and connection use your hands. The reason for this is because our hands are our trust indicators. What I mean by that is the brain looks at the hands to see if we can trust the person or not. So having your hands visible is incredibly important for building report and trust. This is body language law # seven, it's the law of the spectrum. Always in body language, I want you to hit the sweet spot. Let me explain what that means. So, uh, for those of you at home, a free bonus material is your laws of body language just pulled out on out and uh, hit the sweet spot. Here's what it means. There is always a spectrum in body language right? There is the high end. So if you're overly expressive, you're the high end of the body language, but if you're under expressive, you don't have any gestures at all where I want you to be is right in the middle, right in that sweet spot. So the ideal is in the box less hands that are hidden or no expressiveness, but I also don't want you to talk too much. Everyone falls in different places on the body language spectrum, I am overly expressive. So I have to work on raining my hands in who is overly expressive when you think about Okay, okay, so we have three. Are you guys under expressive? Is that typically is the opposite? Okay, so it is very different. So that's why I wanted you to take that self diagnosis chart because I wanted to see where you naturally fall. So being overly expressive, you might have to rein them in. But if you're under expressive and you hide your hands you want to work on keeping them at least visible