Discussion of Body Image, Beauty, and Connection
I think I do a lot more than take portrait of people because I think I lied people get into that space where they can just just trust and feel so gorgeous within themselves that when they I photographed they can let that guard down and just be really beautiful and I don't think there's anything better than that I think I transcend here and make up now when I talk to you about each of your experiences you're talking about eight minutes with eight minutes and we didn't talk to each other, so you trusted me and after alexe I obviously make you feel relaxed enough that you can just be yourself and then all of a sudden there's this beautiful girls all in front of me but when I talk to you about your images and I talk to you about your life, it's that way your life is it now not how you look or how you feel, but we read in celebrating your life stage in your life and your age in your life stage don't you think so that to me has nothing to do with, um, aesthetics and everything to do with who...
you are to say is anyone understand that? So what I wanted to do was have a discussion about that because, um the most asked question the most asked question I get is how do you do that? And how do you do that for people? And what? How do I do that? How do you do that? Is a photographer. And how do you, um, give that to your clients and give that to the world? So, first of all, I just wanted it. I just want to talk about, um, the best part is these beautiful girls. Um, I came to seattle this week to prepare for the show, and we all went out. Tio, um, have moderators because I'm quite a quiet, like margaritas. And, um, like all fabulous single women, we talked about boys for two hours and ironically, with girls, we talked about voice, and then we start talking about self esteem because it seemed to me that everything that we talked about suddenly was tied into how we felt about ourselves is women don't you agree? Yeah, which was crazy. So I then started to think, all right, here we are at least baby, this gorgeous girls. We're talking about boys and aerial board effect to ourselves and how we feel his woman and what makes us feel good. And I know it's more than just here and make out. But I know the experience that you had this today walking down the street when you said to me when you're used to looking out from these eyes and not seeing yourself back the way you do then it seems so weird to me that I'm watching people react to me this way and I think that's kind of how you feel when you see beautiful photographs of yourself tell me something you see anybody in this room brave enough to tell me how they feel when they see the waist freddo off themselves good happens all the time can I expose on the time that I that I like she let susan is very critical of yeah I'll be like a ntac untied no way actually when she takes a photo of me she'll be like is this okay because I know because I just I don't want people to know that about me know what? I don't want them to know the flawed side of me I don't want to blast out to everyone like that I'm not beautiful yeah that crazy because you are right so when I started to speak stop it's your fault too wait I have against intothe truth is is that when I when I started to become speaker which so just should not have happened for me I couldn't speak to a roomful of people but well I became a speaker first thing I did with you I started to do the south talk, you know? You know, the girls herself hammering, talking I'm not good enough and I'm too old a mountie fed and and all the things that go with it on standing up on stage and I went along to this big event and I did a very big talk in front of three hundred people and there was a photograph taken of me and posted on the internet that when I saw it I just it was a mixture of being kicked in the face and kicked in the guts at the same time I stood there and looked at this photograph of me on stage and I looked and I looked twice my toe look twice my size and I was like, I don't look like that surely I don't look like that and I tagged it by email talk for I said I'm so sorry but you have to take that off and hated to makeup I'm sorry ally store with a strong beautiful woman delivering an amazing talk and I just it was how drained us that's what it was horrendous to me but then I opened my block and somebody had gone to my block with a fake email address in britain you really should get a bigger ego because it would match the size of your ass and I just felt life I had just been nailed so badly publicly and I just walked away from there and I was shaking and I just I thought to myself I'm not gonna do this speaking thing I don't need to teach anybody anything I'm gonna go back to my studio and take photos and screwing everybody and rowan that's not a sweet waits for his house and fuck everybody and then I was just like that's it I'm not gonna do it why should I take a personal hit on how I look? And then I realized that that's what I was saying to myself, somebody just wrote out loud what I was saying to myself, so it's like this mirror back at you is that you believe it somebody's gotta yell it out and then yell it publicly and it will hurt like all hell, but I wouldn't speak to my friend like that, my best friend that I would never speak to any of my girlfriends like that inside it, but it was ok to say to myself, and then I just got belted publicly on my own blogged and I felt like a drive by shooting. Anyway, I set down, I thought to myself, I am more than whatever inches or whatever sizes and I'm more than then my age and I'm more than you know, like I have twenty three years off this and I think banking it in banking it solo and I thought I photographed five thousand women all I ever talk about it in my life, this feeling gorgeous and feeling good and within yourself, and if I can't, if I can't do that, if I can't be there for people and love her, and I am that I can't sort of teach people the truth of what we do and that's what I've spent my life doing. So I think I'm I'm just more than a poor czech photographer on more than a band of photographer. Yeah, and I'm a woman that wants a woman to feel beautiful. One of the strongest things I see it on my key note when I was here last with somebody asked me, who would I dream of photographing? And I said, I don't wanna photograph anybody famous it's one photograph were women wanna photograph anybody? Who's ever looked in the mirror and not feel good about themselves that is more true today than his ever been. But if I could get a tutor is photographers to understand that and that understand the power of that that that gives and I would like anybody right here right now to be able to tell me what that actually does give you because all I know is that it works I have never been photographed I have had the odd person take shots of may I take a lot of self portrait but I have never been photographed in a way that I get to experience myself the way I do further people so although I understand my sincerity because when I photograph you and I'll give you the result and I see the transition within you I understand that I did they're from my heart so I know that I saw something a lot of people can capture I gave it back to you that to me is true and sincere but I don't understand the gift of it because I've never been on the receiving end so if somebody can explain that to me in some way how you see it from the outside then I would be really intrigued to share that I'm just first of all I was shocked to hear that you have never had that experience now wow, kind arose because anybody can anybody tell me that experience can does anyone want to talk about I mean go ahead think all that I can say is that it? I don't know seeing myself like that it's um it's kind of a gift because I feel happy I feel great on the inside I work on myself a lot you know? We all do we just work on developing ourselves and we've all had our own journeys but it's just so I think I maybe see what people say when you know they compliment me and I just kind of brushed them aside um I don't know it's it's amazing you're amazing I mean for me personally I feel like the same way I said it's proof a bad picture is proof that I'm not beautiful it's like oh it's proof that I am beautiful and not only that but as a woman and especially in our society it's constantly reminders of what you're not that's what marketing is if you buy this you'll be beautiful if you wear this you'll be thin and it's just constant constant barrage of messages that we're not in the negative that were not enough and that we're not beautiful and that we're not thin enough so I mean when you will stand in line at the grocery store this people magazine and everything or whatever at the stands and you see these beautiful girls and you go oh I'm not that there there that but I'm not that so when you see a photo like this you're like oh my gosh, I am that so I could be that for may my strongest marketing marketing would bay is that you must you must shower before and after short but you same could be said with the before and after well who doesn't look good in a good light with airbrushing you could say the same thing, but for me what is more pointing in my marketing is not that your before and afters uh bad or anything like that but you get the idea that every woman that you show when you're marketing is achievable that they're really beautiful people ok, so last time I see this it was misconstrued I said I'm only photographs were women and they nice on and then a guy came out man, he said my girlfriend is very thin and very beautiful and she was offended by your comments and I'll be really honest with you my reaction to that personally I didn't right there making the email my reaction bet tio um to him wass um all boo hoe your girlfriend skinny and beautiful the poor thing because she feels persecuted by may when I think persecuted by the beauty industry for all of my life that's what I thought, but I wrote I wrote I'm so sorry they stored their way there is always going to be a demographic you exclude you know this know this being no hits this week so far there hasn't been any I could go so far becoming I'm going to try and get everybody but there'll be one demographic that I miss but all I want to tell you is I don't know what it is but I can tell the difference between a real client in a model wannabe model I can tell the difference when I look at a photographer's website I can see if the image is a genuine I can see if they genuinely photographed and I can tell the difference and I just think sometimes we folio build because we want our best work now every one of these portrait's here are photographed in a great corner or a blue corner. If these were the only images on my website there's not much variation there's nothing outside there's, no props, there's nothing beautiful and there's no one ate background was just very simple, but people get more lost in the actual person than the image I see. A lot of photographers was really good imagery and no connection to the human and it in fact I was looking I study for top of his website. I've studied photography's web sites since they started making websites. I've studied teens of thousands of photography's web sites are men trade by photographers around the world ninety eight percent of the photographers websites. I look at him white bit of photography than mine. But I can tell you right now if you look through every one of these images into the eyes of every single one of these girls in the way that they're looking in the camera, then I can honestly say that that connection to every one of those pills is there now with my work the idea is that if I don't have those eyes if I don't have that connection then I do not have a shot and no matter what's going on whether they here and make up is done whether or not they're look his hardest caroline it doesn't matter what's going on you just go straight to your face and straight into those eyes and the connection that I have with them in every image and so I guess I'm trying to reinvent the category in tombs off you can go out and take amazing landscapes and plunk a girl in the middle of it but I'm looking at the girl not the landscape and that to me has always sold me lots of portrait it's I am uh ah hi referral user I have maybe a ninety nine per cent refuel right I have repeated offenders I call them repeat offenders yearly shoots bye photographed one bill three times in the last twelve months I want more I want more I want more than the last time she spent four grand with me so she just wants more and alling I was as a genre if you can provide their honesty and you can provide that connection you will nail it in your portrait business just nail it and I just think it's just all culminates into one brand the most incredible thing to me is nobody knew who I was three years ago I moved to australia in australian photography industry really just supported me, but the first thing they said to me is, who are you? And I was like, I'm a photographer on the lake, but who are you? I was like, I'm just a portrait photographer, and then this guy came to my studio and against night, I've seen two studios people studios don't look like this, they don't do this, and I think really, really it's this a secret and fundamentally, I make a major, major, major major mistakes in photography, and yet all of my bonuses, I guess, comes through their connection. So I think it's something that you said earlier today, um, totally gave me an ah ha moment I think it was actually the beginning of the day when you were talking about susan and your experience yesterday. And, um, that was that way spent all this time making ourselves in before photo shoot on the hair and make it making what we think is us looking beautiful on the outside, but then it's through you that you show us that, and then it's us actually feeling beautiful on the inside and that's, what you capture is it's this energy through you with that comes through and it's your ability to make that energetic connection that allows that inner beauty to come out and then it permeates itself into a cycle when you see it and then now do you feel more beautiful looking at that and then you feel it and then you exude that so that's my that's a girl it's a girl thing trust me because the boys don't have there and they don't understand it uh way I think it's it's the way we made teo feel that feel wanna feel beautiful? We compare ourselves to others so when we do that and we get stuck in that which is ego, by the way when we compare ourselves to others wear not good enough I read a lot of jump demartini john demartini says if you compete you are only not magnificent when you compare yourself to others because there's always gonna be someone greater and lesser than you, right? So someone listen than you you're better than in someone's with the new you're not a bit of a new then you're not as good uh the idea I think about that connection and their energy and their feeling beautiful is you go inside outside inside outside in it and it definitely sort of is site click for some reason works in the negative as well you feel bad about yourself you start treating yourself badly goes by severe sir the way you eat the way you lived all of that can gets name down pretty quickly I think when I was a younger photographer, and I had a list control over the posing and less control over the actual shoot, um, I would try to have it to get to that place where they would just allow me to have it as I've gotten older, um, I've understood what it is a little bit more, so I learned to let it come through before I used to hope that they would give it to me, and I know a lot of people when they first training in photography, they hope if the client is quite comfortable in front of the camera and they're like, you know, I've got it all going on, and then they take great shots, but if these any stiffness, though, our reservation are holding back or they don't feel beautiful off these, anything like that, you get nothing from people, and and what I realized is, when I was younger, I would get these you dutiful looking girls come in, and I would look at them as a photographer, you know, how you think in your head, this is going to be using, and then they come on in, and they have the here and make up done, and holy cow, they've got a great body, and this is all in the dialogue, because you'd never have this out of dialogue because it's revolting but this is what you're thinking in your head here's a folly ever well my clients are gorgeous you know she's young she's fabulous she gets up there and she can't do two things one is she can't move so she looks you know like a really awkward bobby don't no matter how hot years with the lack of movement and inability to direct a body you never gonna get a comfortable shot she's always going to look a little bit sort of you know mendicant uh number two lights are on nobody's home and all of a sudden I would reach inside to pull something out that's like well there's not a lot going on in here and then I would look at the images and she would suddenly not be pretty to me any more and yet but when I was looking at it physically she ticked all the boxes then I would get somebody just very average looking come into the studio head here and make up I would put them into the you know position I would give them the tour can them down allow them to come forward I would take a photograph and it's like another person comes through the camera. Now when people call their photogenic I call that personality somebody who is comfortable in themselves to just allow themselves to come forward now I'm not saying that pretty girls didn't have the personality. I'm just saying that when you allow somebody to come forward, regardless of the outside, when if somebody can really let their guard down trust you, and really that really come through it is like a magic wand over your chute, and that result standing so recently were to shoot, and I was training three photographers, so they were quiet, but they were sitting on my shoulders side when they one there, one there and I was shooting and that I was shooting on the life you feature on the five team ac three, which is amazing because you can hold the camera up and watch the images on phone, and they were gasping as I was taking these shots because we were photographing quite an average looking girl, but her magic was just so present, and here images were just gob smacking, um, and that is everything to do with allowing that to come forward. Yeah, and I just think it is such a big part of what I do to think feel that that secure enough to come forward to you, that you immediately see a woman and you connect with her always, I identify with her in some way, well, I did, yes, connect no identify, identified, definitely, yeah, um like, identify like at lunch time, I sat down with you and you told me who I wass like my entire makeup and thirty seconds you saw me, you saw my heart. You, uh, were able tell, like what personality I wass and it, like immediately made me feel at ease and put my guard down. And it was like, I trust you, you see me for who I really am, you know, my intentions, my heart. I'll do anything, and I want you to see who I am inside and you take your clothes off from the photographs right now, I just love it when people say I would do anything right now. Cool trust you, trust you and make sure I was beautiful and come for the way I feel inside. Yeah, that's really cool. I don't know what it is, whether it's aged experience or or intuition, whatever, whatever that is, but I am very, um, yeah, I think empathic would be a good wit. I feel very strongly how people feel. I think a lot of photography is make it about themselves don't get me wrong, it's all about may like I'm I'm a bit of a drama queen, you know, precious, but I tell you something, I've had the same, this friend since I was fourteen years old I could bring that girl every day she's like my twin sister so I know I'm a good person because I can keep my friends I think if you can keep friends for a long time and you know you give take you you experience that and you're lucky to have friends around who I make friends they seek but I love making new friends but the truth is is it the end of the day when I sit down with you to photograph you it is not about me so I don't look atyou in appreciation of your beauty I look at you how you would feel as a woman when I look at a woman I'm photographing here I don't look a tsa myron thank god you're beautiful I wish I had children here in a heart shaped face beautiful eyes I look atyou and I think I know you're beautiful and I try to imagine how you would want to look when you see your photographs so my all of my empathy goes to simona not to me taking good pictures uh when I first started out I know there was a shift in there because when I first started out if people go I don't like that one I don't like that one I don't like that when my heart would be broken but it was like telling my meet my photography was no good but then as I progressed I made it more about her being beautiful not me taking the pictures and then all of a sudden I made it about you not about may and if I can if you can give that over there and I always say service provider service provider your magic is what you could do for other people it's not how good your photographs are I can sell a lot of portrait by connecting and giving my client what she wants what she wants is to look beautiful now you know how you say trust sometimes you get a client in and they start to relax and you see in their body language they're starting to feel a little bit looser they're starting to relax in front of the camera they're starting to do this thing where they are listening to the direction and it's just starting to come into themselves when I'm training photographers I watched that transition and all the photographers start going crazy taking ahold of shots and I'm always like no no no you haven't got it yet because there's this moment that they even stopped going from relaxed this this moment where they disco into this complete um I call it the you know that connection that it's like um when they stopped looking at you and they start looking through you or you them maybe on and then they just start to channel this incredibly beautiful light I wish I could bottle it, and I wish I could, like show I wish I could sell it if I could show that their energy that women get to when they just and then they just stopped for a moment. And there in this perfect there in this beautiful pose, and they're in this beautiful light and they've got reflected light, and then they just look up at the camera, and just for that moment, they just show you their soul, and it is so beautiful, and I can never unsee it ever, ever again once I've seen it before, I know I said that all the time, but it is my truth and I, if you can find that, like, really find it so many people learning this genre keeps saying the same things to me, but how do you make them feel beautiful? And what if they so critical of themselves, you've got to take them past the critical, which is the outside and way into the inside, because if you can take them past that out herself, make that look hot, sculpt the body, do the here do the eyelashes, whatever you have to do, scott the body so it looks hard and then take them so into the connection of who they are so deeply into into the air. That you're gone past the point of I don't like my arm oh, I don't like my freckles I don't like that little bit on my chin I don't like my ear like that, you know? You have gone to that point where they're just sitting there going you just showed me my true self do you think that that's all energetic? Do you think that that's the way you just described that it feels to me like you become a mirror for that person? Yes and cannot be taught yes, it can cause I've taught it when I look att work off photographers who are learning my genre I know what level you're at first I looked at your direction because I can see when your hips are out I can see when you're doing a pose, but I don't believe the pose uh that's the first level I look at it and I go she's doing the pose I don't believe the post, okay, then I get the, um then I get the kind of all this is looking good, you've got the whole scenario going, you've now that pose, you have nailed that pose and then I go up to the eyes and I instantly did get disappointed because I'm like not idiot in level three for may is when I go to the pose when I go to the hands seaver lex hands so I know that they're there I see a sculpted body that is flattering to the client and any age your body shape just flattering to her body shape, and then I just see this connection to the shoulder, or maybe the body language to the shoulder or the chin or the hands to the shoulder. I just see this connection coming where I'm like that body is working because that is not opposed that his body language and I can tell the difference between a pose and body language. And then as soon as I hit that body language, I go up to those eyes and if there's eyes in that shot, if that china's ford connected that body language is working for me, so that whole image is talking to me in the body, I look straight to the soul, and if I concede in the image, I look at you and just go like this, you have achieved exactly the level that you need to achieve to sell portrait's because you have ticked all the boxes you take the outside, you take the inside any of you've captured straight into who they are and it's real, and I believe it, and they must be there must be an authenticity to that, because if somebody across the world can look at my website and e mail man, go oh my god, what is it about your images? Because I always thought my images were not that good I was it was like okay, I get it I take you know, practically good shots but it wasn't until I started to really look at other photographers and see what was going on with the actual person that I realized what that magic waas so yes, I'm here to teach you there for the next three days and if you leave the next three days after watching another twenty women shot if you leave the next three days in the only thing you take from it is teo get their connection in eight minutes if you can get that connection with another human being and captured on camera and send that to me emailed me a picture seemed it to me and say this is it, isn't it? I've got it now that that will be the greatest gift that I could give you is a photographer didn't apply it to your own style because if you don't want to shoot my style, you don't have to you know if you want to shoot in fields and do we let so stuff do it but tell me that you can get that because if you can get that my work here is done it's just wear craving human connection not pretty pictures way crave to be looked at to be loved to be attached we just crave it we live on the internet and you always crave is to be loved and for you men out there go home and love your woman tonight and not on the way that you think I mean we're not yet maybe later go home and look right into her soul until you see how beautiful she is and then tell her that and make you believe it because I don't know why we like that but I definitely stand for a woman when I say we are all like that on some level and I just see it seen that thousands and thousands of times in questions the internet is just they've been crying along with you they've been offering to take your picture so anywhere you wanna go take your picture we've got plenty of people it's been amazing I'm just excited for the next few days because that's um that seems to be continues to be the question I think is the I c u when I see you do it and now you know we see simona you've trained simona and we've seen you know simona do the hair and makeup but then also um her what she's learned from you and I think I have just the ability for you to translate that to people um it's it might be a little known fact that you have, um a black belt maybe it's not a little known fact anymore, but as you're talking about all this, what I'm thinking about is that same discipline in something that is another sort of energetic, um, discipline. I don't know what I'm trying to say anymore wait to talk about self master, you ride and I have the facts, fascination that you could bidding yourself. My fascination from bettering myself comes from being, um, it it comes from I said that last time it comes from having no education, so I wanted to be smarter. They come strong, being treated in a certain way when you have no education, because I kind of thought that people treat you like you're stupid or like you're not good enough or if you act in a way that we feel stupid or no good enough, then obviously want to be bitter it's something I started to realize that if you want to be good at something, you just have to practice it every day, but you only practice something every day if it's within your highest value to be better at something to be better it to be bitter at yourself. So it I started to learn this I realized that when I was growing up, you can actually create wealth. Like there's, not something you don't have to be born to a rich family. You can actually build your own wealth by changing how you deal with money, how you learned about money, what you think of money, and then all of a sudden my business started to grow and I was poor growing up, but like I said on my block the other day, I was poor growing up, but I grew up with parents said I could have anything I wanted if that may be happy, and so I realized I can build wealth, I can build a business, you don't have to have a four point our any university degree to build a business. I don't care what anybody says, you know, economics is something you can learn. Money is something you could live, but your personal value, how you value what you do and what you sell is the secret to making money. So when I started out as a glamour photographer, I came from the shell oh, twenty two years old doing here and make a pretty girl that just didn't want to shoot families or weddings or babies. But the glamour was my genre, and I did that. I just did fashion type shots, and I made it, but it wasn't until I started to connect with the value of what I do, which was actually the journey that you took every day women, the plight of the everyday woman that I started to actually value what I did because the feedback to that was just making no person and really huge. And then all of a sudden I found my value in my words, through my work, and I just think, uh, a zai started to do that I want I practiced it and practise it and practise it, you know, I have five and a half months since I did my fierce creative live in somebody message me the other day and said, listen, we gave it a go and we failed at it, so we're just not going to do glamour anymore that's, like, five months really wanted to become me and five months I worked at this for twenty years, and I'm not saying it's gonna take you twenty because I'm showing you how to do it. But what I'm saying to you is practicing, practicing a visit, but find what you love about it. So if it's about making the money they build, you know, build it on comments if it's about the connection to women, then building on that, but whatever your strength, others of you build your brand from their strength, you will just create this huge explosion within your studio, and I don't have to struggle to make money now because money flows into my life because I lived that and so I'm one of those people that wants to learn something new a ll the time that's, why I'm already onto my next three things off leaning because I want more and I'm so hungry for knowledge, and I disciplined myself to take great shots, but I discipline, I have to discipline myself to offer great service because all the great shots in the world don't sell your portrait every now and then I get lazy and my service drops, and then my money drops away because the most important part of may and what I do is the service I offer my clients, so that makes it about them, not me. So as long as I'm in an energy where I can keep giving to people and give a lot, then my my wealth will build my business will build, but, um, is that a personality type? I don't know, I hate being told you can't do something somebody told me I'd never get my black about in credit, they said, or you'll never make it like zero point. Three percent of people make it well. I brought nine fingers a big toe, little toe of foot, distance in a cheek bone. And I remember the chick buying breaking. I remember thinking nothing will stop me from giving us because when I want something I'm going to do, it nearly swore. Then I'm not going to I'm gonna do it, and nobody will stop me. Yeah, nobody will stop me from doing what I want it's what I want. And I think one of the basic rights of even here when I was younger was work out what you want so nobody has to tell you what you need. You know, I know what I want, and I'm gonna go do it now and I wanted to create this brand and now I want to pass it on. They want everybody. Teo, give this gift to women, please place. Just pass it on it's. Magnificent. And they pay for their honor. So it's even better because I get paid for giving questions. So when you said that women want to be loved like every human being does, and then you went on to say, um what you just said, you know, if what you want to do is make money, then go for that or what you want to do is be have a business of your own and be, you know, work yourself for that. But in my mind what I'm hearing you say is that unless you're showing those people about the love that you know you have yourself or that they have for themselves or making that connection based on love then how thanks how are you gonna be success? Ok, so that's not true because you can love making money and that's okay and provide a really good service in a really good product it's not for me that's my highest value, but that might not be yours. You might not get that connection with other women like I have someone photographers say I don't feel that way that empathy towards other women and I got within don't go there that just happens to be my strength. I've built my business on my strength, so if your strength is armed creating great service and images and you love that money counting, then create from your highest value whatever your highest value is, but you're judging people who are more interested in money than the love of connection, but the truth is is he's not difference as long as you do it with full, full and team so anything you do with a true and team that you want to do for yourself will come to fruition I think I'm more asking how do you get the magic to come out from someone heart and soul to shine in image when people say, what is it about your work that is different from people that are just trying to make money? Do you really think it's magic really? I think that connections magic in a quiet corner with, say, the other people in the room in eight minutes is it? Yeah, I think so I mean, I think that all human beings are connected and you're either making a connection with another human being or you're not I just think I made them feel safe because every single human being just wants a feeling off letting it guard down where they feel safe enough not where they feel safe enough not to be judged and I think if you look at somebody in a judgment away they will hold back from you on every level but if you look at someone open me and just say let me trust what's the first thing you did to make caroline when you got when you got into your post the first thing you did to me as I said to chin ford and down what did you do? I said teach and putting down anyone like this guy so straightaway, I got you into your pose. I did that were whispering I was using my hands. So I said, I need you to bring your chin ford and down and you went not. And you takes your name that's true, and, uh, and I realized that it it is in fact, super my my relationship with you having, you know, studied your last creative live workshop and just really following you that I really have, in a sense, developed a relationship with you and on dh. So when you when you kind of went andi, you you actually said to me, caroline, trust me and and I do, and so from there it was like you gave me that little permission to let that concern about, you know, this kind of aging neck, you know, to go and in fact, you know, I just follow you and that's why you don't even tell people that you're going dressed, but you look fine, but you do this because I don't count direct that that that was a fear that you have seen the photograph, we didn't like it, you remember it. Your knee jerk reaction is not not my neck. And I my first reaction is I've got that. Trust me, I've got it. You know? You just need to relax. Let me let me do that for you. So listen to the listen to what they don't like, go beyond it just gets passed it straight away but it's a place of trust it's just safety. Everybody shines. Susan, everybody shines, everybody shines when they're allowed to who've never seen an ugly bride one day most beautiful woman in the room she gets to walk in there she is the most beautiful woman in the room and everybody's gonna tell her so and she closed, like neon bright lights and all of that comes from the inside. So that tells me one thing. You as women, we need to stop comparing ourselves to others and be more in ourselves than that out ourselves. We need to come from gratitude because whenever we have gratitude, we, uh, better human beings. And the gratitude is for your house in every part of your body. You know, women come into my studio for twenty years ago. I hate my arms. I hate my legs. Well, when you make someone with no arms and legs, you might rethink the excitement, you know, come on, perspective. You're beautiful and magnificent and the only time you're not is when you seeing someone more beautiful than you and you deem that to be better or you're looking at someone with something that you would she had come back to what you are acceptance is the key to self esteem once you're in a state of acceptance and non comparing treat yourself well you just have to be treated like a princess treat yourself like a princess treat others like a princess you deserve that as a woman because when you're happy then the man you're with is happy and then the world happy and so is your children way just wide that way and have a relationship with your body uh wrap moisturizer all over your body have a relationship with your body no matter what age it is or what size it is because then when it changes you have a relationship with it and you'll have an understanding with it and just I think really really really the bottom line is is any time in my life that I look back at the last forty years and think I haven't had a good time then I was not a good person because if I compare myself physically and I don't measure up you can never take away when I've been a good person and I like who I am not what I looked like because when I like who I am I am magnificent so when I'm sincere following my own truth giving and loving toe, others course, you're great person and laugh. And just, you know, let it go. Because this idea, we have a beauty. Is it's accessible to everyone? Get photographed as soon as you can in the most beautiful way, and then celebrate if every part of you and everyone else.