Overcoming Mental Barriers
Number one barrier I'm not an expert now I want to hear this is the barrier but I want to hear the actual words you've used to define not being an expert let's go to the web in a minute but I'm not an expert what do you say if I were to come to you and say hey I want you to shoot uh my wedding or what or whatever what would you say if you're not a wedding photographer I would say I don't have the lighting and a second shooter good good I don't have the equipment very good now forget the wedding example what are other ways that you've said I'm not an expert to someone very good I'm not as good as ex good drew you don't usually do this but you know I don't usually shoot weddings but I'll do it they can lick I'm not going to be the best but I'll still do it okay I actually like that that's a nice way of overcoming that mental bear I'm not usually x but I'm going to do it we'll talk about that that's very good what else should know like we'll talk about that later yeah uh I know you want t...
o jump ahead you're you're the advanced student okay what else I don't know enough about yeah how'bout I needed I would like to do that but I need a couple more years before I get there right interesting so what else I mean, clearly there are other phrases we say everyone just nodded that every chimed up what I have enough experience, huh? I'm too young twenty years old in a city with all of these sort of writers in their thirties and they're not going to take me seriously and, uh see the language is so important if I sit here and just give these slides and say I'm not an expert people like okay, that sounds fine check the box move on, but when we talk in the actual words we use everybody's nodding their head did you notice that? Did you notice how when I put this lot of that was just like you and then when I said I don't have enough experience or I'm only twenty two I was like, oh my god, what we got on the web uh ryan is saying I'm still learning really good okay, what else tag streak text trick and jet says I'm afraid that by doing something I love, it will turn into just another job that's good that's not I'm I'm not an expert but that's definitely a mental barrier. What susan is saying I can't guarantee that I will be as good as somebody else I can't guarantee like what can you guarantee okay very good uh tree hollis says I've never been paid to do this I love it thes air so good these air so good because we're getting way beneath the surface of the strategy or the mental barrier and we're actually understanding what the words we say again I'm doing this because I want you to understand the importance of language right? You could go to a client and you could say I'm easy fast and secure and what would they say get out of my office? I don't know what you're talking about however if you say listen, I understand that you know you know I have my own three kids and I know how to take how difficult it is to take photos of them they don't want to smile sometimes they're irritable last week I took a photo of someone who was vomiting all over the store but I actually have my own I've developed my own way of reaching out to these kids specifically kids between the ages of two and four and let me show you some photos I've taken this little boy I was crying for two hours then I did x y z look at the photos we got oh my god that mom just started to cry she feels every fear handled see that all right let's keep moving on just by the way if I could really quick just a an interesting one, grubbs says I have dreadlocks down to my butt and people don't take my appearance seriously so that kind of is along that same line. I don't look like people think an expert looks very good. Very good. I mean, that that's actually true for me when I started off people like, who is this guy talking about money? Who's? Twenty three years old, you know, back in the day. And they wanted me to change the name of my sight because I will teach you the rich. Frankly, you know, to a lot of people sounds like a scam and, uh, that's very true. And how do you kind of get around that? We'll talk about that. Okay. Oh, look at this. I'd feel weird charging people for something I didn't joy doing anyway. Or in other words, if I were to charge for this, I worry that I would hate it. Anybody here ever heard somebody say that? Or maybe said it yourself? It's super common friends of yours. What do you mean, yvonne, you've got a camera. Why don't you just bring that along? Yeah. Why should we pay you right? Well, that's that's a whole nother thing about freeloaders. We'll talk about that. I love freeloaders I love show you how to deal with them. Yeah, true. I mean, I was just gonna say that khun b also an excuse for you know, I'm not going to charge you because if it's not good enough, then I'm going to look like an idiot and nobody's ever going to get very good, very good, a lot of fear creatives, air struck and paralyzed by fear that they're not good enough, etcetera, etcetera, and ironically, they're simply focusing on this area, never understanding the game that's being played around the game of the client, not even really understanding or caring about you being at this outer end of the concentric circle of you being world class technically, they actually they probably I'm not saying for everyone, but probably they'd be happy if you're here good, not amazing good, but you also understood their hopes, fears and dreams, which we're going to get into deeply lulu lemon could've understand my hopes, fears and dreams addressed it by putting up a sign that said men and I would be a customer, probably for a long time, but they did. A video crew could have understood my concerns by saying, you know, by not even talking about cameras in front of because I don't know or care and saying we meet I understand that you're on a tight timeline, one thing we can commit to in writing is that we will always turn around our videos in twenty four hours, and if we don't, I want you to charge us three hundred dollars a day in late fees boom, charge me anything you want signed, but instead people want to focus on getting to the other end of the concentric circles as if that is going to make them incredible. Anyone here know and absolutely amazing creative world's, best rider, world's, best photographer, whatever who can't make a dime? Yeah, because they don't know any of this other stuff stuff we're talking about today, okay, so I love this barrier because, uh, it's so weird all these barriers air so weird, but yet so true and what do we do? What we actually staying here? I feel weird charging what we're saying is exactly what you're you're online friends said, which is, uh, I'm worried about succeeding because then I'll have all these problems. For example, if if I if I actually do all the things we meet the saying, I'm going to be way too busy and I don't know how to do it like I don't want that because I don't have enough time as it is really could you potentially raise your rates so you could actually make triple the revenue in a third of the time? Yeah once you you know what it's a good problem to have that's something every creative needs to remember you want to have good problems good problems are like too many clients because you could raise your rates and cut those out uh good problems they have are too many options it's etcetera so let's not preoccupy ourselves with things that might happen down the road which are going to be good all right let's let's stay in the present and deal with that when it comes. Ok, next barrier this is a big one I hate selling myself let's hear the words that people have used to describe this feel like a car sales yep don't look like you have one way we're talking about a few darkness before um it just feel so dirty and dishonest it's good good what else? Talk to me about it may I say that I say that phrase like I say I'm no good at selling myself you know I'm not and I've had people actually offer me money and I'm like no yeah very common very good. All right, I like that good cathy um this happens a lot where people would be like oh, I want this thing and kind of similar I'm like oh, I'm I just signed kind of freeze okay, anything from the weapons if we do that we have see guthrie is saying I feel creepy uh huh and ryan says I hate being sold to so I don't want to do that to other people good well effects three is saying I was brought up not to brag about myself yeah, me too that didn't work out way selling out right? Right totally selling out this is the weird this is again one of the weird pathologies of of creatives, which is you're selling out and I want to tell you a story about this because I went through this myself and it was actually very emotionally gut wrenching so on my site I will teach you to be rich dotcom I started it when I was in college and it was a free site I never monetized it for years and years I believe is three or four years my friends a lot of them went to work at google this back in like, oh four they were like, hey put ads on your site you could like make a lot of money and my thing was like, why I don't want to do that first of all, is it gonna make enough to cover my rent? That's mean if not, why do I care second, I'm going to spend all my time worrying about thes monetization things and all this stuff and not even worry about what I'm really good at, which is writing and changing people's behavior so three years I didn't monetize it all actually paid out of my own pocket, and I was fine with that because it wasn't designed to make money. It was just I needed to get this out to the world. We'll finally I had a lot of readers I had maybe, like one hundred thousand month e readers at that point or something, and I said, you know what? I'm gonna try something. I'm going to create an e book, I created an e book, and it was like maybe thirty pages, and I charged four dollars and ninety five cents, which is so laughable because one of my most recent courses was twelve thousand dollars okay, four dollars and ninety five cents and I was petrified. In fact, if you want to read what being petrified looks like google rem eat satay two thousand seven guide to kicking ass that's what it was called I was I was a juvenile young man and and and you can see it in that sales copy. I'm afraid I'm nervous, I literally said, why am I charging for this week? And I actually went on to explain it, like, let me defend myself from you internet weirdos and guess what happens. People are like huge decide jumped the shark you're just oh I see I will teach you the rich means I will teach me how to be rich I could find this for free on google all this crap and it was like my worst fear coming true but people were ordering like a thousand people ordered it sounds like what? Like all these chatterers who are telling me your your sleazy for selling some for selling a five dollars e book after writing free stuff for three years I felt like so unappreciated and yet there are all these people buying it it was very emotionally taxing type there have been two big emotional taxing parts in my business the first was for the first year and a half of my business it wasn't a block it was me teaching in formal classes at stanford and everybody said they would come and then nobody came and it was really tough to go through that so I started the block the second emotion taxing part was this and um it took me another two years to really get my head around selling if you look at my new material right anyone here from the web let's just hear if anyone here is an earned one case student or a dream job student aura no stress negotiation student these courses are hundreds or even thousands of times what I charge for my e book and guess what I feel way more comfortable charging for them I never defend my price I tell you look, this is it in fact I don't want half for you to buy this if this this course is like a three thousand dollar course unlike you have credit card debt you're not allowed to buy and the tenor and the dynamic has changed so much because I've mentally gone along that road of being comfortable with selling by the way my revenues are way a higher okay and ice and it's great no more emotionally uh tax rem eat because I'm not even dealing with those clients you understand? I have been super clear about who I serve and super clear about who I don't when we say things like I hate selling myself it's just like the person yesterday who said ra meet this automation thing sounds great, but it sounds like you're gambling and remember my response my response was that's coming from a place of fear it's not that this person has rationally calmly read three books and evaluated the differences and asset classes there just like I don't understand this so I'm scared like here for all the people that have said I hate selling myself selling a sleazy slimy scam e I feel dirty have they ever taken one class on sales? Have they ever studied marketing know what we do is we go to me immediately jump psychologically to the worst thing we can imagine some dude with really sleazy, slimy hair coming up to you at some party like, hey here's, my business card and we should talk, we stop, you should buy this and we're like, I don't wanna be that guy, but that's not real sales that's not really marketing again, my students, my courses are quite expensive and my students love to pay it. When I do consulting, which I almost never do I charge an extraordinary rate, they're happy to pay it because I was able to listen, connect, understand what value they wanted and overdeliver selling is almost the last thing I do and that's what we're gonna learn today, let's, throw to the web and let's throw two reactions from here is well and see what people think about that. I feel like I'm completely stuck in the first circle when you shifted from a point of selling an e book for four, ninety five two somewhere close to charging three grand an hour for consulting. Did you feel like you had hit your external challenges? Those other you checked off those other circles? Were you there? It took me years to get these checked off, but had you challenged yourself by learning the things that you didn't know yet before you transition to saying, I'm this expensive no I went up a gradual path we all go up look if you're charging thirty dollars an hour you're probably not gonna charge three hundred dollars an hour next month all right you're gonna go thirty sixty at each level you're going to have to understand different types of clients and you're going to have to develop your skills the skills that I haven't three thousand dollars an hour are very rare that's why I can charge it and I also deal with a very small amount of clients who can afford that or who even see the value in it right but if when I was back charging twenty dollars an hour uh that's a whole different client base they want different things they speak in different words write a three thousand dollar an hour I'll tell you in example I recently did a small consulting engagement again I do maybe one or two a year the money is really not even that attractive to me it's about making a big change and I frankly I would make more money from spending that time working on my own business okay which tells you what kind of business I built so I worked with this uh gentlemen who's a pretty senior guy in new york and the sales process wass less than two minutes he knew what I do he knew like what I what I kind of do on a day to day basis he said listen would you be willing to come in and talk to my team about this? I said, sure, I just charge my normal day, right? He said, what is it? I told him he said, you charge that much I said, yeah, I have. Ah, um, very rare skill set. And, you know, for for the right type of client, it makes a lot of sense to pay that he goes like this, okay, sending invoice by this afternoon. And that was that. So that is what happens at a three thousand dollar an hour level he's not debating me. What time are you going to show up to my office? All that is assumed that that's gonna work, but for a thirty dollars, our client, you're going to be having agreements in place. He would talk about what time you're going to show up. How soon are you gonna deliver this right, it's a whole different thing at a different level. As you move up that value chain, you're just going to assume that some of the charges that much is going to get it done. And by the way, I overdeliver to him, right? He said something to me. He said, listen, would you be willing to come in, uh, a second time if we need you in which would have exceeded my hours do you know what I said what would a thirty dollars our consultant say no we're gonna have to write that down in a contract I would have to bill you bill you for my time bill you for my taxi what did I say? Of course because it's about building a long term relationship let's not over focus on the three thousand dollars our thing let's focus on what we do today and how we can grow our business it's very different what my point to you is at each level as you move up which you will by the end of today you should be able to increase your rates by thirty percent easily easily you will experience different types of clients different needs different language and you'll have to adapt. So when I charged one hundred forty seven dollars for a product or whatever that was different when I charged twelve thousand was totally different okay all right let's go to the web what we got and we'll come back to you kathy I love what susan says she says it makes me think that if I'm comfortable with my prices I can be okay with them saying no thanks so good we're gonna talk about that today yes you're not trying to serve everybody what else along the same lines peter v says just because I wouldn't pay that much for my own services doesn't mean someone helps with your progress so good, so good, what else? Cathy you had one shifting from I was in corporate sales and I didn't give a shit I feel like level. So from moving from corporate tio small business and some thing I really love, I had a lot of fear and I still do have a lot of fear around. I care so much about this thing that I sometimes forget it's a business and you're just building relationships sources selling yeah, you're building your adding value, and we're going totally change the dynamic. A lot of again, a lot of us jumped at the idea that I have to sell someone to convince them of eight hundred reasons why they should use my services and not go to all these other cheaper photographers or writers. The truth is, if you're playing that game you've already lost, you have already lost what you are doing if that if that's your problem, if you go into clients, listen up carefully, everybody especially on line if you're going into client meetings and you find yourself are almost arguing saying this is why I'm worth it, this is what I do. Look at me, yeah, you could go to the guys, but this is what I do, you've already lost because you've you've already missed the entire game of what are your needs of asking without selling which I'm going to show you how to do, I'm actually going to do hot seats right bring people up and we do that you've already lost if you're sitting there debating price okay when I saw I'm like, listen take it or leave it this is what this is what kind of value I can add to your life here's all the people that have benefited I understand your concerns I understand them better than even you understand them and they read it and they're just like, oh my god skies like my mother he knows me and and take it or leave it and by the way there's this you know, this thing is gonna close at a certain point so we'll talk about that you had one bryce was here she kind of spoke to that she was saying, you know, she charges thirty three hundred dollars for her portrait package and somebody asked the question will you know, would you ever charge more because they were kind of wondering, you know, could she make more money and she's like, well, not until I feel like I can deliver a product that's worth more than thirty three hundred dollars like, I mean because she already felt like she was delivering all that she could and she was over delivering for the price that she was charging, so she really pointed she really drove the point home that you have to value the products that you're offering you know you're not some hack that's trying to convince somebody like oh I'm good enough good enough so love that point love it um over delivering can be what most creative think is I need to overdeliver by taking ah higher resolution photo or whatever the hell you say writers think all deliver an extra ten words whatever it's irrelevant you could you should be delivering an amazing product you need to be doing that otherwise get out of the game but over delivering can be things like you know what I'm gonna include a complimentary dvd for you to share I'm going to include um I'm gonna come back to you six months later and do a photo refresh for free I'm going to come to your office instead of you having to come to mind because I know you're a busy executive and I understand your needs that's over delivery and at that point you can charge a lot your clients will love you because you actually understand what no one else that everyone's saying they're saying I'll give you five photos instead of two I don't care that you're actually addressing my needs so so all of these things are about over to living like for my course is my goal isto overdeliver at least ten x sometimes one hundred x I charge a very extraordinary rate but I want to deliver much more than that as well, so that is absolutely okay let's take a couple from the web and we'll move on so a couple of people have been saying that they get it, but they're just hard core introverts and have a hard time talking to people I have introverts in fact I'm going to do a case study right now and then we have uh one introvert tomorrow who's going come on, this guy he's amazing he's not particularly the most socially skilled guy he's even said that himself and you're going to see that you don't have to be mr extroverted mr networking to do it? No, there are plenty of people who even worked with me who are just very quiet and they don't get their energy from being around people, but they know how to ask the right questions and deliver value. Some of them are more comfortable emailing me proposals that's a way to get around that as well. What I'm going to challenge you with is the person who said that they're immediately jumping to all these conclusions like I can't sell myself because I don't I'm not so fluent with words and I get nervous so I could never do it wrong a better way to think about that is okay one of the areas of weakness for me is I get a little nervous around people and it drains me. So what are my options? One I can practice, how many of us actually do that? Number two. I can go around that problem by emailing people instead of going out to meet them, etcetera, etcetera, set, right. So instead of making it a total weakness, let's, turn it into. How do we get around this?