Dealing with Difficult Personalities
Difficult personalities I love this one I'm trying not to be difficult dealing with those dreaded clients who annoyed the heck out of you. Okay, I want you to make me look taller, replaced the background and make everyone look twenty percent happier there's a button for that, right? I love him remember give them the benefit of the doubt okay? Try to put your mind in listening mode and try to mirror back to them what they're saying and try to empathize the negotiator this is the attorney type. Okay, this is the smarmy salesman the you know, you know who I'm talking about, the guy who comes in thinking you can negotiate whatever he wants asking for a deal. Okay, these guys are challenging, especially if they're good clients, okay, officially they're spending a lot of money. Some guy comes in and spends three thousand dollars in a session and demands a discount or demands a product the digital files for free kind of thing. You know, it's really george starts to speak up, you know, you get...
a little unconfident, okay? And especially when they have that real confident stand up straight tie on business for a woman that could be extremely intimidating, especially okay, and they try to almost bully you into it with demeanor, stance and the tone of their voice and the seriousness of their faith okay, um, I usually give it what they want to them kindly, but I do again, I do it on my terms. My sister had a situation where the guy had done that he'd spent several thousand dollars, uh, with albums and things like that, and he said, well, can't you just add on the digital files? I mean, it doesn't cost you anything, and I mean, she's mean, imagine a six foot tall guy stands saying that to you very intimidating. I mean, sure, you just kind of say anyone you want to say yes, right away? Well, you can if you want, but just say it with an attitude that demands respect. So you know what? I'm happy to do this? You guys are wonderful clients, and I really respect the fact that you respect my business so much, you know, kind of plant an idea in their mind, like, oh, thank you so much for respecting my business by making such a nice investment in what we do. The reason we don't just provide those files that I go into the whole lost opportunity costs. But, you know, I'd be glad to give them to you for this amount, just to cover our costs and that's all they want. They just won another gonna deal I mean really so sometimes I will do that not always in these situations don't come up all the time and the fear you have with this is that they'll go on to their friends and go I got a deal go ask her she'll give you a deal you don't want that rumor going around okay so it's just like apple does apple really ever sell put a sail on their computers your student you could get like a ten percent discount well that's about it right? Apple doesn't put anything on sale period and of statement their brand is very elevated very high end and it's expensive to buy an apple what's worth it you see where the brand comes into play here if you have a solid, strong, elegant brand that demands respect your client's gonna show that okay sometimes the truth hurts like I said tell him the truth nicely hey respect my life, my livelihood and they will more than likely do that consider the overall relationship in future business for this client sometimes it's best to concede kindly so just there are situations where you're goingto have to weigh it and go okay so I deal with this person but if you just say things with confidence and with you know hey this is my sandbox I'm happy to share but you know, don't pull me out of here that will help your client have respect for you and not demand so much and then they'll come back and they'll tell your praises sometimes a client is testing to see how much you have they're not doing it consciously they're doing it subconsciously especially the attorney negotiator type because there's such strong personalities that they want to see how you're gonna hold up to him to see what they can get away with not a vindictive way but it just it's just there it's just the way they operated um I try to explain this I'm not sure I'm making the right sense am I making sense? You guys are resonate with you? Yeah kind of like a kid they're checked exactly thank you so much lisa is exactly like a two year old the two year old wants to be independent they're discovering the world, you know and they want to do things their way okay, so they're going to test mommy a little bit to see how much they can push back. Obviously an adult is an adult and but those childhood feelings air still there and he's learned so much or she has learned so much to be in the negotiating type of attitude that that that's how their mind operates it's not their fault they're not trying to do it to be mean to be vindictive it's just who they are okay remember that give him the benefit of the doubt the indecisive the perpetual can't make up my mind client you're sitting in the order compartment on our two and you're like please just make a friggin decision I mean you know those people where you're just like her okay well guide the sale officially move it forward have a step by step a process in place to really make the sale system progress don't give too many options you will know if this client is indecisive and if that's the case at the pre consult don't show them seventy images for pete's sake you're going to end up killing yourself when that happens I mean you just want to be like why did I do that okay show them limited options okay when you're designing something for the wall keep it tight be patient communicate ordering policies make the client sign for their order ask close ended questions yes or no answers yeah question came in from my heart do you ever feel like you're shooting herself in the foot when you say you'll shoot differently for your albums over your collections clients often don't know or can't envision their own baby in the images on the finished product does the client ever wish that you had that they had decided on an album after the fact or you know what I'm saying like they don't realize that they want an album until after they see the images and then they album but you didn't shoot without she might have missed what I what I said I shoot for it no matter what okay great I'm saying we always shoot thirty to fourty show thirty to forty finished images to a client in a plaid obsession now on a gem session she's going to be a little screwed because we only show fifteen to twenty images on a gem session which is going to be a little hard to make an album with not necessarily we could but it's not the easiest thing in the world. So if she's a platon client which most might you know, seventy to eighty percent of my clients are platinum clients so I'm always automatically going to shoot for a poor wall portrait and for an album of some sort so if that happens they decide they want the album after the fact that we can do it if they say I want an album I'm going to take extra care to make sure I get the album images yet I will always still shoot for awhile portrait too okay, so my goal and asking the client what are we shooting for is really for my benefit and to tell them hey, this is a customized process think about what we want to do with the whole goal of that question is to get the client to think about what they're going to do with their images as a follow up when people are really indecisive and do you ever show any of that on your face like who try not to? I'm sure ideo are you always like are no problem I try to be like that, okay? Oh no problem it's ok? We're fine with all the time in the world I mean, I try to, but I'm sure there's been times where I'm like body language is important and you have to train yourself that book that I suggested a hack I looked that up and see which one that is the art of the definitive art of body language I think it is it's on amazon look, it was a wonderful book and it really teaches you about what your own body language says to someone subconsciously and you can kind of train yourself tio be still working the sales room were positive in the sales room even though your mind is going completely the opposite direction and I have a question for you on this one is from scott hamel. Have you ever run into any situations where you have gone to a home shoot and the parents have clearly not followed the steps you have set up for them to feed the baby baby asleep and what do you do in those it happens? I don't do babies in people's homes, but it happened has happened at the studio we're all come in and they'll come in and it's very clear that they have not followed the directions or even read them and I will say so when was last time he ate all about forty minutes ago oh my gosh you're kidding me that has ruined it right there and I will try to do the session but what I'll say is I'll ask you did you read the preparation guard we sent you like oh no r oh yeah but you know that just doesn't make sense or you don't they'll say something stupid and I'll say well we're gonna go and do this hopefully will have no problems these are some of the problems we can anticipate hopefully that won't happen and if those problems come she's going to know she screwed up uh okay and sometimes it has happened I mean they'll be and you know there's been plenty of times where she hasn't followed the directions and I get the baby and the baby's awake or crying or fussing or has gas because she ate broccoli or pizza the night before and breast feeding the the kid has gas and it's completely uncomfortable or worse yet they kids get the kids circumcised the day before they come to see me I have learned specifically actually in the last um a few months I have learned that if a baby is been circumcised in the last seven days I won't take the session because it's that hard to photograph a baby boy who has been circumcised and is dealing with the pain okay they just awake they're crying it's it's a mess so sorry back to their shuttle thought the if they don't follow the rules sometimes it's blatantly obvious that they haven't you just have to suffer through it I mean the session may take you a little longer it's going to be kind of a pain in the butt and you just get what you can and go for it and say oftentimes if that's the babies like that I'll ask afterwards me like did you know did you managed to follow the directions okay, he seemed really fussy and awake all the time was he able to stay a week before the session like we asked oh no I couldn't do that okay well maybe that's why he was so awake during your session you know she'll realize okay, I didn't do what I'm supposed to do but I'll still shoot the session I guess if that's what she's asking is that you do what she's asking the silent type he just sits there she just sits there these air hard these people are completely comfortable silence so you get my point I mean they will just sit there there stoic they don't show any emotion on their face and these people can unnerve you I mean human nature is to fill the silence so ask open ended questions of these people who what where when why to get them to talk okay if you ask yes or no questions that's the kiss of one of these people don't do it open ended questions okay don't talk too much yourself learn to be comfortable with client with quiet mirror what your client is doing now you could be warm and friendly and curious sometimes the silent type is merely the result of being overly shy okay, so they just need you to warm up a little bit warm up but not in a nervous way like try to be speak hey, you have to be comfortable with quiet as well and be willing to just talk to them a little bit try toe warm them up ask them questions about themselves people love to talk about themselves so when you can ask genuine interested questions of them about who they are, what they do, where they came from, how they lived, what they love, all those kinds of things, you're going to endear them to you they're going to open up a little bit and all it's going to be hunky dorey remember the seven second rule if you have a silent type who's also a negotiator that's a scary one he's a silent type but everything that comes out of his mouth is a negotiation that's like the scariest client of all you have to be comfortable. The seven second rule what is the seven second rule in journalism? They teach you how to interview someone okay who? What? Where, when? Why journalism wanna one? They also teach you something called the seven second rule when you are communicating with someone and they are not wanting to talk to you but get there in an interview situation this is particularly good on live television you ask them a question so who wants to be put on the spot? Zoe good job. Zoe, do you have any children? Zoe? No, your boyfriend? Yes. Are you in love? Yes. Tell me about him. What's he like brilliant and fun she's fighting me do you see my point? If I just kind of go, you're more please more, especially in a live television situation where someone's not expecting that seven second rule they're going to fill the silence. Oh, he's! Brilliant he's he's. So nice field day he took me on a date. I mean, they'll just start talking so the seven second role can sometimes be very effective and obviously can't tell so much enjoyed that you can't inform them of what you're doing because those his battle you but I think the point was doing home right you wanted to feel this island you like I could just television yeah, especially when you know there's somebody watching you but she just wanted to stare you down in a second if you don't hear all your high five thanks through your words before speaking don't do something that you'll regret ok don'tjust talk to fill the silence because you're gonna make a fool out of yourself calm down, take a deep breath, be okay with silence used that mirroring and empathy it works very well ok and move the appointment forward use that system so that everything has up one, two, three step so that you're comfortable yeah, so that mere ing of their silence is partly to put them at ease and also draw them out. Yes, both yes, both because they're perfectly comfortable silence and probably not that comfortable with people who want to fill it all the time. Yeah speaking quickly and yeah, I get something, so what if you do is if you sit over here and you're silent so what do you think of the images you're going to put him in his comfort zone, that quiet area of his life that he's very comfortable with and he'll start answering you. Do you see what I'm saying so? And then if you just keep quiet with that seven second rule, you're going to move the appointment forward again the silent type who's also a negotiator those are tough okay you have to stand your ground and be confident with who you are what you say and how you do it and use body language to your advantage and answer questions about sound type the know it all oh, I just want to let this one get out here you know it all oh, this is the type of guy or girl for that matter who come in the viewing appointment look at this image and go can you put him in the middle? It looks better in the middle of so we understand what is the power points? The four points you know on the third is the rule of thirds. Of course that's why I put him down there on the bottom but uncle bob doesn't know anything about art and thinks the kid should be in the middle. Ok? He is the know it all thes people just make you want to tear your hair out. Okay? I often will explain my reasoning for doing so well. Uncle bob putting a subject on one of the power points and the image is actually an artistic a decision that has been being made by ours for centuries in every discipline. If you look at paintings, jesus will often be in the upper right third power point and I'll show up my cropping mode and pro select where it shows the power points it shows an exalted area if we read from left to right in the modern world and the right side of the images the point of rest the point of solace that upper right point is the point of glorification but also innocents and so that's why the fine art they used to put jesus up on that right and since your baby is so peaceful and lovely and grounded and has such a bright future I thought he would look good on the lower right power point oh what do you know what? Okay deal with kindness with these people okay thank you so much for that suggestion that could look really nice that way I should try that but here's why I did what I did okay if you want to get the reason out if you don't you just want to say screw it I'll do what he says are make him happy go for it sometimes I just put things in the middle and go for it just depends on the client and if I really think they're receptive or not if they're just a know it all silent type and a negotiator oh boy I mean sometimes you just give up and move on but there are times when you just let go do things both ways just so the difference I will often have a client come in and bring a big old fat pink bow for the kid's head the bow or the flower is bigger than the head and it's hot pink. Okay, it's. So not me in my style. I take one look at that. I go holy cow home. I'm gonna shoot that or they'll bring something bright white that's double the size of their head really hard to shoot with my brandon. My style it's, not me. I mean the flowers I used or tiny, usually on a baby. I don't use anything. I tried to use anything that's bigger than their nose and mouth area because I don't want to distract from the baby's face if something is bigger than the baby's face in the image that's, what you're going to look at? Okay, so and also your eye tends to go to the highest point of contrast. If there's a big bright white I'm needing that hat is a little bright on the baby in the blue your eye kind of goes to the blue first if I turn this image upside down in here's a little art lesson for you if I turn this image upside down what's the first thing you see the blue hat it should be the baby's face so when someone brings in a hot white headband I'm sure you're going to incorporate this into the session, even if it means something to the client and they really love it or grandma and you did it or something like that, I'm gonna do my best to incorporate it. I'll shoot on all white and, you know, bring it in in a nice, effective way that doesn't distract from the baby's face. But if the client is very insistent on using something that just is not going to work with what we do, I'll shoot it both ways. I'll say, oh, well, okay, let's, do it with it, and then I'll also do without it, and you can show it. And you could tell me which one you like better. They never liked the one with their stuff, and they always pick the one that I did. Okay, but sometimes you have to show them that. And then again, sometimes it's best just to let the customer be right. Okay, the meticulous type, these type nit picking everything okay? They're kind of like a know it all but the know it all suggests things, but isn't like, you know, I mean, the nip, the meticulous type is there? Okay, susan, you have a question. Question came in from b waller do you have any tips on how to handle negative nancy? In the sales appointment, for example, gramma came to ordering appointment because she's interested in ordering as well and she doesn't like images or makes client question there or choices I ask because I've been there and it was incredibly awkward so is the frustrated this meticulous? It is somewhat the meticulous type and it's a classic here I haven't had to have it happen too to me too in a newborn session where the grandmother comes in and she looks at her daughter and she's like, oh god, you need to lose some weight I mean, I'm a horrible mother number one or you're just isn't flattering for your nose, honey, I mean, I was like, are you kidding me? You're saying that to your daughter? How could you? I mean, people do this this really weird people in the world but she said this is meticulous type and chances are there could be a lot of things going on there give her the benefit of the doubt let's analyze her for a second what's she doing she's being protective of her daughter, okay? She wants to show her daughter in the best light she probably doesn't like to be photographed herself because she nitpicks like crazy at her own images and thinks she doesn't measure up okay, so chances are it's insecurities in her heart rather than something she sees in her child so I will do things like ask her um, have you ever had professional photos taken where what were they like? And she'll go off about how, you know, either they were great or they were awful if they were great, I kind of worried a little bit, but if she says they're just, you know, he's terrible job, my wedding or what I know they'll say something and that dawns on me makes me think, okay, you don't like having pictures taken of you, you're having issues projecting your own feelings onto your daughter, okay, so how you handle that? It's a delicate situation, I would tend to kind of try to shut mom out a little bit and not ask her any questions on biff she's made a suggestion to the daughter about something negative, I would say, well, you know, kathy, woody, what do you think? And she you know, sometimes if it's a daughter's really confident she'll be like, well, you know, I don't really see that or whatever if she is well, I see that too she's kind of making and I'll go into the whole topic of, well, you know, do you remember your senior pictures? You know, back when you were young twenty years from now remember we talked about this yesterday twenty years from now these images are going in the world to you your baby won't fit like this do it for do it for the little guy not for you he'll want to see that you were in the images and that's usually the clincher right there he'll want to see when he's ten twelve, thirteen years old that you were there in the images and that's usually does it and mom at that point or grandma um tends to shut up a little bit so this is a challenging situation and negative nancy is a personality type that I don't like to deal with either, but sometimes if they're just saying something negative without being nitpicky about it like they're just I don't like it, you know that just doesn't look good on you or whatever I ask her what she doesn't like nine times out of ten it's not the photography it's something in her that she doesn't like or some are some physical characteristic and sometimes that's fixable oh you've got a shiny spot on your head oh my gosh take it out with patch too it's no big deal, you know or my arms just looked too fat oh liquefies a beautiful thing no, I'll talk all I liquefy my mom's like crazy I mean, not to make them look like something they're not but to help shape things and make things look beautiful naturally okay, so and I will tell the mother that I say, you know, I could drop twenty pounds if you want off of you photo shop is a beautiful thing I don't want to make you look like something you're not, but if you are self conscious about your arms, I'm very self conscious about my arms it's all relative to your own experience but I hate seeing my arms and photographs and like I'll grow big, you know? But my sister has the same issue and women all over the world have certain issues about certain body parts, so you can't fix those and I make it clear that I can but if they don't want me to, I won't and nine times out of ten when I say that I can they're like, oh, okay, great, well then let's go ahead and go for it sometimes just suggesting things is the best way so the overly picky offer options you are comfortable with and let them decide explain your reasoning for doing in a certain way okay? Ask what they don't like and offer solutions for fixing sometimes what they don't like isn't necessarily what you thought and it could be something that's very, very easy to fix with the client doesn't realize it and provide rates for further work before the client decides to proceed. So for example, felicia that one situation where you have the skinny girl who wanted her double chin taking care of say to her you know I'm happy to do that minor touches included extensive retouching which includes things like double chins and stuff like that does incur a hundred dollars per hour fee or a per image fee or however you want to do it tell her that before she books so she's not surprised on the back end. Okay, yeah, you tell them how long it usually takes you to do things so they have a really good idea. You know what, it's okay, no, I let them think it takes us long as they want to think it takes a terrible with clients where I quoted something and then I went drastically under drastically over because I'm still not I just usually do a fee for it. We'll be asking like, excuse me I should correct myself on the hourly rate. Yes, like for a painting I will tell a client okay, most paintings take on order of ten hours here's the fee for it. I can stop kind of at the ten hour mark and show you what we've got and we can continue to embellish it from there or you can decide that you want to stop there actually, I have just started doing painting so I haven't sold a ton of them yet, but that's kind of how I'm approaching it right now or you could do what's called a flat fee like some people when they paint, they do per head in the image so an image with one head would be one charge and visit with three heads and it would be a different charge. So there's ways to go about that just think about how you wantto develop your pricing in a way that if you especially if you don't want to share how long it takes like to create an album that has a flat fee. I'm not going to tell him how long it takes to make. Okay, ok, the control freak. They doubt you'll do it right. Okay, you have to understand that these people have trust issues. Okay? Remind them why they hired you all. It is his trust. Remember the woman who had the white house wanna hear a story? So this woman had a white house? I did him attorney and her newborn session very session was all white. Newborn session was all white. Okay, but hurry sessions. She gets the images back. She orders a couple of eight by ten prints and the digital files most time because at the time my pricing was a little different and most of times maternity orders are small anyway, so I kind of expected it and so I only do many sessions for the maternity. I don't do full blown sessions because I don't want to put that much time into it cause I know they're never gonna be a good sale, so I proofed the images, put him on just for her and sent sent them off and she was happy and always hunky dorey after the sale session. An hour later, both her and her mother come storming into the studio. The grandmother has curlers in her hair. Okay, she's like no makeup on crows. It looks like she literally walked out of the house. He was so angry, they were so upset and they said her skin tone looks orange and this image on the file there's a mistake. I mean, what happens? You know how in bridge when you when you do images, the background is black. I had cropped the image, there was a tiny sliver, and my background color and photo shop was black. But the image was white, obviously and there's, a tiny sliver where I had cropped outside and redistribute my frame. So on a digital file, when she looked at it on her white monitor, the black line was, like, totally obvious on the edge of the digital file it simple cloning or cropping issue? I mean it's, like can be fixed in two seconds flat, but I didn't see it because I was putting the images on bridge and the bridge had a black rec room, so I'm like what? I didn't bring him in, bring him in. So she came in. She called, she came in with the files and the eight by tens, and she I was so upset because the digital files she tried to find problems in every other product that I'd given her, and the mother was just as upset as the grandmother was just as upset as the mother. And so the grandmother comes in with her daughter in hand in the storm in the studio, and she's got curlers in her hair that e o dio you just like for quiet farm down? Don't get upset, don't you know you have this moment of panic and I don't know what's wrong, like, I don't know what the problem is, I think it's some horrible disaster, ok? And she says, oh, there's a problem with this file and she you know, you need to look at its number, such and such such as, and the grandmother pulls out the eight by ten and does her skin tone is way too orange, and why is it so dark? And we don't want images that are that dark for the newborn session, and I really hope this is a reflection of what we're going to see in a newborn session. That's what she said to me, because I really hope this is not going to be a reflection of what we will see in the newborn session, high and mighty curlers in her hair a little bit. I mean, she was, you know, you want to just be like, you, brat, you know, that's, what you want to say, you just want to like, how could you say that to me? But you don't you calm down, and I saiid calm down, I said to her, I go. Maternity images tend to have a little bit of a higher contrast ratio because women who are pregnant tend to carry a little bit more weight. And so I am trained in the freshman photographer toe, light her, pose her and put shadows where they belong to make her look the best in the most flattering light, and she goes, oh! Okay let me look at your files let me see if there's a problem open the falls I see it I fix it right away I went that's why she's upset and I said it's no problem it's been fixed here you go justice will happen again, will it? No, of course not it was a minor error this is why it happened and it's easily fixable I'm so sorry that you had to come all the way back in here to get this fixed she didn't course she didn't I would have fixed it and send it to her by email no problem, but she's so freaked out because she didn't trust me to do my job, her mindset and from her psychological mindset is so into nobody can do it better than me she's a control freak o c d these people they just I I shouldn't say a cd because that's not the case but there are control freaks they they don't believe that somebody could do a good job for them or that wants to do a good job and they think they think everybody is incompetent okay, so these folks have trust issues remind them why they hired you so for example someone will come and say, oh, can you use this crop can use this proper I want to use this this this this this susie, I'm not consistent. Say, susie, think let me think of a name that nobody's here with steve. Steve, why did you guys choose us? Well, you know, you're the best in bella bond. We really liked your work when we saw it online. Exactly. Please, I want to give you what you love. I want to make you happy. You hired me for my creativity and what my mind sees. Police. Trust me to do that, and I promise you will not be disappointed. Oh, okay, kind of like, oh, yeah, I guess I am kind of trying to control things they usually do recognize it. So ask what worries them and offer them words to reassure. Okay, what happened with the mom and grandma's? They saw these mistakes were so panicked that they thought that that would reflect into the newborn session, that they were going to have additional problems. Or maybe worse problems in the newborn session. Okay, so I needed to assuage those fears. Always fix any issue right away. Tell them thatyou're creativity depends on them being able to have faith in you, you will do your job. That's a great line. My creativity really does depend on being able to express my creativity and that you'll have faith in that you can use those exact words and that uses all of course we have faith in you julia oh you know they don't want to insult you okay so keep that in mind next we're gonna talk about selling with no studio okay and we're also going to talk about finally putting the piece into practice with a specific focus on using purpose to do that quirky people q and a anybody any questions sometimes they say why did you choose the thirty forty files for us can we choose ourselves so we have the rest of the file yeah and that specifically my policies can we see the rest of the images no you can't well we photographed as many images as we need to provide the variety in the session here in the sale session for you here basically images with eyes blinking awkward positions things that are slightly under exposed are taken out so that you don't have to go through the work of doing that we choose the best impossible images in the best artistic light to showcase you and your family we feel the best the other mentions you see will simply be similar not the same and it often overwhelms our clients to be able to do that so we have selected the images for you and we'll help you narrow it down from here I mean it's pretty much saying no and why and that's it I've had people ask me for the raw files flat out no I mean, seriously I said no we do not offer raw files and that's just shut up. Well, can we get the profiles? No, we do not provide original negatives to our clients. Simple. Does it help to call them negatives? Does that help? Kind of yeah, it does a file and a negative. A negative implies art a smile implies technology when the people I don't like the images and over them tow tow the second appointment for shooting but they say oh, we don't want it and we refuse it and we just want our money back for the session fee back you will give the fire giving the money back tell me go that's what I would do cut the loss it's not worth it. Sorry, it's. Sometimes that is the answer. Sadly, I know you want to help him make him happy and I would say, you know, I really would love to make you happy. I had a client like this today who, um there was an issue with the baby and he was really fussy and upset and I made it steak. I was clamping a piece of fabric onto the back of a little girl they hadn't brought clothing that was suitable and I accidentally pinched the local skin and she screamed and cried, oh my gosh, I felt so bad I was like tearing up and crying because this little eighteen month old girl was like screaming and there was a red mark on her back and of course it was my fault I mean hello julia watch what you're doing and I felt awful then the baby was no session there's nothing went right you know those and the baby was awake and screaming and gas I don't know what the problem was well, I know what the problem was but I can't I can't quite sure the baby was having issues like it was one of those things where every time we set him down he would scream and cry and not just be awake screaming cry okay so tiffany I just like to get together we're like way got to reshoot this this baby has to come back when the mom was pretty distraught on dso at the time she seemed happy she seemed okay I said you know what let's come back can you come back tomorrow by then baby should be a little bit better and we'll do the images we got great family images but we'll do the images of baby by himself tomorrow she's like okay that's fine that's fine she called me the next day in tears she was totally distraught that her eighteen month old had been hurting she kept telling her mommy and hurt she was upset that the baby was upset I mean and I felt like it was my fault I mean you mean you obviously the little kids cry and I apologize over and over again I said please come in I really wanna make this up to you I want to do the additional shoot and she's like I just can't do this right now I mean, you know what it's like to have a baby I just can't see my baby's in pain and I seriously felt like she was blaming me and she wasin part for her for her kid's hurt and it just devastated me and I was really afraid she wasn't gonna come in the baby was already three weeks old so she said, well, I'll just call you monday I'm not sure I want to do this and so I called her monday back and I said I really want to finally should calm down and she let us do the reshoot it all worked out hunky door and it was no problem but sometimes you have to talk him into that especially if you made an error I mean gravel be genuine if you're sorry say you're sorry and admit it and I can make this up to you how can I help? What can I do? I really wanna make you happy is this obviously all my fault? I mean you want to say that if it truly is and fix it so if they don't want the reshoot, explain why you would like to help them, why you want to think, make it up to them and if they still say no that say, you know what I completely understand, I feel terrible about it. I'm happy to provide you with complimentary session in the future. In the meantime, I'll refund your money, make him feel good, you want them walking out that door happy? Okay answer question kind of a long story short answer, but questioning ladies think, how do you tell a difficult client up to come back? No, don't say much, but she wants to come back this summer and do a boot or session and I'm like, cool call me, but I don't there's no way and like for her session, she wanted christmas themed and then when it came timeto ordering she's like, well, I just said, I don't want christmas stuff in my house, can you added everything out? And I was just like, seriously, and at the session I was like let's do some one regular and should didn't want to. It was just like, I'm not going to shoot you anyway, you know, if she insists on it and really wants to come back and have a have a sit down heart to heart with her and say you know, whatever your name is I last time we photographed it was a little challenging for me and here's why I'd love to photograph you again but I want to make sure we set out our goals and expectations in the beginning so that neither one of us is disappoint on the back end and give her another chance but really lay it out and say, hey, this is what I need from you and explain why it was it didn't work last time not that don't ever blame over but then again do that mirroring and empathy thing and that'll really help her feel heard and then you might actually come up with a great session and you could turn up with a really great client maybe you just need to communicate a little bit more and then she turns out to be a pain in the booty on that one sorry I'm booked and she was one of those were like stuff went wrong that was out of my control and it's just like really this one I know I know I hear you I hear well, thanks you guys for the questions I appreciate that so next we're going to talk about, you know, the selling without studio after lunch and then of course our final segment's going to be that inspiration one and that putting it all together and getting going first thing monday morning