So let's talk a little bit about regrets as it relates to things that were building into our lives that do create a lot of energy and things that at the end of our lives were like bang I had no energy have you guys seen going around on facebook the top five regress the dying you're not seeing that this is fantastic this is a woman brawny where she's an australian nurse yeah australia on dh she spent several years with patients who were in their last twelve weeks of life and she would have a lot of conversations with them about basically reflections and she was so struck by the phenomenal clarity they had about their lives about the choices they made and where they were when they got to these last twelve weeks of life and she said over and over again it kept coming up these five regrets these top five regrets and on that list was I wish I had spent more time with my friends. I let the business my life just overwhelmed me and I lost touch with people that were so close and this late this...
far in I don't even know how to find them to say goodbye or tell them what they meant to me and in that when you look at it from that angle that's really striking and it's one of the top five things that man men and women regret it that they lost those people they were close to and you guys were responding to that quite a lot. Why, yeah, I don't I mean, I kind of I totally get what you're saying we have a couple groups, two girlfriends to go out and there's like me and two other girls that, like I will cut like, crawl over broken glass to make it to girlsnight, and then it's like we always start out with like there's ten of us going there's eight of us going there's six of us going it's just me and you again? Yes, every time, yes, and that is not you're not alone in that there's a lot of us to experience that men and women it's just it's like we've bought back bernard something that is a major support for us and a significant energy booster, like chemically speaking, not just it's cool to hang their friends, it makes a big difference in our wiring and are believed to just be able to offload and find support and keep going with new strength and new energy. Some of those other top five regrets number one was I wish the number one regret across the board was that I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life that others had expected of me the idea of having pushback, dreams and having left thumb unfulfilled forever hit them the hardest when all was said and then nobody kind of expects that it's all going toe go and then you're there I was at the anthropology about a week before I came here and this woman walked up to me and she said I'm eighteen and a half years old and I want to make it to eighty five and I was like hi on on dh she said I know you're busy everyone's busy and you kind of patted my hand and I honestly my first thought was she seems very sweet and possibly a little just a little out of it or something I don't know on dh then because I know you're busy and I just kind of said, yeah and I was busy I had like a bunch of things to collect and get through and but I was struck by her and she just literally said I want to make it to eighty five you don't know how fast it goes and then she left she just walked around walked off and for a terrifying moment I thought maybe I'd met my future self like for just a minute I was like ho chi was at me and then I remembered I was physically there and it wasn't my you know, a dream or something, but what tell me you would have thought that because it was such a jarring kind of exchange, and if she was slightly disoriented, she said, very sensible things, the idea of living a life unfulfilled where you didn't go for what you wanted, for all the reasons you don't was the number one regret the number to regret was, I wish I hadn't worked so hard number two regret. And she said nearly every man, especially again, generational and older in life, said this this treadmill of work was so constant, so pervasive, and they didn't realize that's all they were doing for so long, and then just kind of looked around and said, wow, number three was, I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings. I hadn't worried so much what other people might think if I just said this, and so I kept it bottled inside. I love the idea of connecting, not having the courage to express yourself with the reality of a mediocre existence, an existence where you are not shining in any way because you're not living who you are. This is all related to energy. I mean, someone asked me on the way to the bathroom, just joking about, like, I can't believe you just said that on camera, I don't even know what it was, but to me, it's like will we're all every single what am I going to worry about you you're going to judge me when we the other it's gonna happen there people at home saying she did not just put up that picture or she did not just yell at those kids or whatever it is that can get transmitted in a way that certainly wasn't my intention or certainly what isn't all that happened, but people going put their perception on it because it's a big, wide world and so I'm going to cap my energy significantly if I'm constantly thinking about everything I say and how it might be received of course, look how much energy goes to that I'm not saying just start, you know, flopping out of your dress and that would be another the thing I'm saying, you know, have some respect for people around you and and make them comfortable but, you know, number four already said this I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends and this jarring realization that they probably wouldn't be able to find them in time and the last one it was a simple it could be, but she was surprised more than anything that this one came up time and time again, which was simply that I wish I had let myself be happier the simplest thing in the world, I wish I let myself be happier that they had never quite realized and this was the phenomenal clarity they'd never will realize the whole way through that happiness is a decision that it's a choice we make that it's not going to be following you because you stand in the right spot, that it's an active choice that we make day today, that I can go one of two ways on this one of three ways on this, let me go the way that's going to make me happy. Finally, in terms of energy, I love this quote from anna quinlan, which is that you cannot really be first rate you cannot be really first rate at your work if your work is all you are and these ideas, these regrets that we, you know, we're blessed to learn from we just got to kind of tucked into a big collective. A lot of a lot of people said, like a woman who came up to me in the store, it goes by so fast, you know, don't wait to be happy and don't wait for that to happen to you, go after it and make it right, that is energy, that is how to build our energy do won't ask her. I do want to ask you one question before we go to break and everyone's ready for a break, but news vision images had said tomorrow you are so established well known and overall amazing but I'm just starting out how can I follow these bullet points and still build a presence in my market? And so my question my person is you're giving you're giving this advice but for people that are new to the industry are just starting out you're letting them know this applies to them like t harv this out in your life is important yes this is what brings you the established photographer thing if that's what you want is having this built into your life early on most of what I see is the path I was on which was burned out I see people putting in all their effort trying to do it all at once work late at night not make these changes maybe even learn about it and hear about it but keep going on their way of doing it the way they were doing it because that's more comfortable because at least they knew that then they wake up one day and say I can't do this I can no longer keep being who I am not I can't keep up this pace I can't keep up this frenzy I feel tired all the time I'm worn down I'm not making any money and this this job that I went into because I loved it I don't even think I love it anymore that is very normal and so I'm saying, carved this stuff out now, before you get there. Don't wait until all right, that's, good for it's not. This is good for me, because, you know, this is where I am now. I'm saying I learned to do this along the way, and that is why I am enjoying where I am now. That is the difference, it's, not something. You eventually arrive at all these ideas, it's things that you build in every day.