Looking In the Mirror: Finding Success
We get very vulnerable and shame and judgment takeover george does when really if we were just empathetic with ourselves the way a good friend would be, it would give us the courage to go on the courage to keep pressing forward and we would be true to ourselves and with that compassion you fix what's wrong so if you screw up or you hurt somebody or whatever, you know just we're talking life not even photography in business but you just hurt somebody's feelings take responsibility for it fix it you know it's it's, simple communication this quote I used to always love I used to always love this quote what would you do? Why would you attempt if you knew you could not fail would not be cool if you knew you could not fail, what would you do? He would follow your dream, right? He would do anything. I heard this podcast field day from a podcast junkie her pockets today and it was bring a brown is like on a book tour right now because she just released a new book. So she's like all over the pl...
ace right now and they were talking about this quote and she said, which I think is so much better what's worth doing even if you do fail totally different, isn't it? What would you do if you knew you couldn't fail what would you do? Even if you knew you were going to fail? Would you still do a photography business? Would you still create art if that's the case, then that's your passion and you need to pursue that with everything inside of you, and it will be hard because it means that you're vulnerable to uncertainty. The outcome is not sure another will exercise your paper. I should purcell rights wrote a book called design life you love she's actually been here on creative life and she had a neat exercise that I got from gym, actually. And I want you to write the name of your hero down and we're going to do this exercise. I'm not sure I'm gonna do it as eloquently as she does, but we're gonna try because I think it's very valuable. I want you to write the name of your hero down so this could be apparent this could be a movie star. This could be wonder woman superman, I don't care somebody you admire and love and want to be like your hero. And then I want you to name three to five traits that you admire about them and we want to share those of you at home could do this too, so I haven't done this exercise by the way, my friend I need to think about my teaching I would love to do it don't do it afterwards if those that's what I was going to share what I know is this personal stuff and I don't want to put any of you on the spot but any of those people who want to share in the audience go for it. Does anybody want to share this information? Anybody, anybody? No, I know it's personal ok are you all done? You're on to okay the name of your hero and three to five characteristics that you admire about them. Okay, ready? Okay, look at it read it aloud to yourself that's not seymour on read it in your head to yourself. Okay, now maybe we could get a couple volunteers toe let us know who their heroes were. Okay, sure what you'll need mike okay, go for it. You go for a song, ok? I picked a personal friend her name is nicole okay she's about ten years older than I am we have the same amount of kids she has five kids I have five kids and I chose her because she knows how to balance her life she can do it with grace she's very empathetic towards everybody else in the in the whole world she cares a lot about other people too kids that are in india and uh you know just all over neat empathetic for all types of different people that you know have different walks of life she's very spiritual and she's good at guidance for other people and she has been there and has survived yeah awesome aboutyou amanda well, I went with that cliche my mom okay so I did I add a great childhood growing up than mine weren't one words minors she was practically perfect and all the advice you gave me growing up I couldn't save my mom once gave me wrong advice when I came to her I never heard her say an unkind word to anybody it wouldn't matter who they were she would always have something positive to save and if she didn't know the person she loved my brother sister and I unconditionally I know she doesn't have a favorite between us and she filled me with faith in my life there need people anyone else wanted her I can read a couple from please dio exercise you know little posey's says my grandpa and the traits were honesty, determination encourager stands by always stands by his beliefs rene studios said her grandmother is funny lady like truthful meek and resilience wow good ones very cool okay so the next part of this exercise is to erase their name or cross it out let's cross out the name stare at the lake look at those characteristics now write down your name I thought this was such a powerful exercise because it makes you dream of what you want to be it makes you stuff george in a corner and look at someone you admire the way you should look at yourself makes sense hard to dio and here I am getting a man all to all choked up again I can see it in your face teo but chances are you are these characteristics too because we admire those most like us we project our traits good and bad onto others and when we see ourselves and others we like it so you should know that when you put your name up there when you thought of your hero you were really identifying yourself the most positive parts of you I hope that helps you killed george just a little bit failure is tough to overcome okay? You will fall period you all have fallen many times right it's life you're gonna fail this business that you want to create this business that you're already knee deep in this business that you're successful in will have trouble at some point there will be failure when you signed up for this you signed up to be a gambler and you don't always win the pot so instead of being fearful of failure we must learn to overcome it those people who succeed most in business are those who go I'm not scared of failure because I know I can get through it. Those are the dangerous ones, those of the innovators, those of the people who change the world right because they're brave and they have the courage to innovate and be an entrepreneur because they know if they do fall, they can handle it. So when you do fail there's a couple things you need to do, by the way, I recommend bernet brown's new book rising strong, it's all about this topic and it's. So funny when you read a book and realize this is what you've been doing all along it's fantastic like you really like oh, okay, I'm doing some right? This is good it's like reaffirming. First of all, when you do fail, she likens it to theodore roosevelt's quota about falling in the arena. You guys all heard that one. I should've written it down here, the man who falls in the arena flat on his face you don't know the quote exactly. Maybe jim, you could look up for me, it's a wonderful quote a little bit long, but it's a wonderful coat about falling when you're in the midst of the arena face down dirt in your face, blood, sweat and tears over your body, wouldn't you rather have been there trying than in the stands laughing I mean, the successful man is the man who's who's in the arena who's doing it but when you're face down in the arena ah wash of emotion comes over you you screwed up, you bombed it, you need to learn to step out of yourself out of the arena and look at it and go what am I feeling? What is this emotion that's taking over me and ask yourself why you're feeling that way, then you need to get curious bring a brown talked about it being the concept of day two and I think it's so apra poto creative life most creative live courses so three days long the first day you're on adrenaline it's all shiny and new and possibility that was like so excited like this is great, I can do this and then day two hits was it hard or build my feet all day long? I can't make it a like seriously by the time the last segment on day two comes around as his instructor, you're exhausted, you're exhausted but then day three hits and you have renewed energy. Okay on day two, if your burn out your vulnerable, the door has close behind you and you're too far to turn around and you're not close enough yet to see the light right you're in the dark tunnel when you fail, you follow in your face in order to recover and get out of it, you have got to go through day two sucks. There is no negotiable. You have to work through day two in every failure that washes over you, you have to self examine you have to get curious. You have to think about how you're thinking about the situation, how you're feeling about it and how you're acting on it and what you want to change. Because life is not what happens to you, it's, how you react to it, right? I forget who said that, quote, but it's a wonderful quote. What did you learn about falling down that will help you change it and rise above it? You have to do day to to get to day three and most of you right now are in the trenches of building your business is your tired that whole shiny new thing? Hope possibility I'm gonna make a living if this is so awesome. That's all worn off, right? And now you're in the trenches, especially if you're in this class because you need systems, you need organization, you are in the trenches and some of you are on the verge of quitting, right? You are in day f ing too, and it sucks you have to go through day two to get today three you try to solve the problems comfortably just lower my prices o just do this so I got to compete themes grasp at straws to try to find a comfortable solution to your problem write anything that's not you you're playing you start to blame the outside world that's the worst thing you could d'oh instead of self reflecting forty thousand feet out going what's wrong with my business what did I think feel or due to screw it up and where am I going to go to fix it? Day two sucks I've been there I've done that and I got a lot of t shirts my sister particularly has been there and done that and got a lot of t shirts you sit down, you do the work you research you self analyze and you come up with possibilities and solutions instead of blaming it on the rest of the world, those people who are successful as entrepreneurs are the ones who are confident they can get through failure and there's some of us who are experienced at this you know, if we've been failed a lot some of you were first starting out you're scared to death because you've got that dark place is surrounding you don't you're not sure if you're gonna make it those of us who have experienced experience of them do much for you all it really does kind of help you be a little braver I mean, that's it. Once you've been through this a little bit experience. You may be in the tunnel and not be able to see the light yet. But, you know, it's there, and that you could navigate it. And that's. Why successful entrepreneurs are so successful is because they know that when they are in the midst of that failure, in the midst of that dark tunnel, that there isn't out and they will make it. But if you let george accompany you in that tunnel, that is the kiss of death, you will quit. You will throw in the towel and that's, not the mark of a successful person.