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Stop Living On Autopilot with Antonio Neves

Lesson 64 from: The Chase Jarvis LIVE Show

Chase Jarvis

Stop Living On Autopilot with Antonio Neves

Lesson 64 from: The Chase Jarvis LIVE Show

Chase Jarvis

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Lesson Info

64. Stop Living On Autopilot with Antonio Neves

Lessons

Class Trailer
1

How to Find Your Purpose Through Grief and Loss with Tunde Oyeneyin

48:49
2

What is the Meaning of Life? with Tony Nader

1:17:18
3

Weirdness is the Key to Self Improvement with Marcus Buckingham

1:10:59
4

How to Unlock the Key to Continuous Innovation with Tony Fadell

41:57
5

Talent is Bullsh*t with Steven Pressfield

1:06:26
6

Finding Self When No One Is Looking with Jason Reynolds

59:50
7

Does Cold Water Exposure Really Have Scientific Backing with Dr. Mark Harper

56:15
8

Heal Your Past with Sheleana Aiyana

51:06
9

How An Unconventional Path Got Nabil Ayers To President Of One Of The Most Influential Music Labels

1:04:12
10

All the Hacks to Maximize Your Life with Chris Hutchins

1:08:02
11

Happiness is an Inside Job with Dr. Rangan Chatterjee

1:19:58
12

The Power of Regret with Daniel Pink

49:35
13

Data-Driven Life Decisions with Seth Stephens-Davidowitz

1:01:26
14

Escape Purgatory of the Mundane With Radical Confidence with Lisa Bilyeu

1:09:58
15

Transform the Quality of Your Life with Tony Robbins

51:37
16

Strengthen Your Intuition & Unlock Your Inner Wisdom with Amber Rae

1:00:13
17

Make Your Message Heard with Victoria Wellman

1:13:34
18

Susan Cain: How Sorrow and Longing Make Us Whole

1:09:31
19

Can Food Turn Us Into Geniuses with Max Lugavere

1:21:16
20

Peace Is a Practice with Morgan Harper Nichols

1:14:56
21

Creativity Hates Complacency with Maria Brito

1:10:34
22

A Love Letter to Human Potential with Kate Robinson

54:14
23

How to Build Confidence and Be More Social with Vanessa Van Edwards

1:01:21
24

Trauma Is Wreaking Havoc On Our Lives with Gabby Bernstein

51:59
25

Take The Leap, Start a Business with Payal Kadakia

58:37
26

What Every Creator Should Know About NFTs with Tom Bilyeu

1:05:47
27

40 Seconds To Fame Or Failure with Apolo Ohno

45:52
28

Unlock the Power of Nonverbal Communication with Joe Navarro

1:03:28
29

Living Shouldn't Hurt with Aaron Alexander

1:20:24
30

Ego, Disrupted. How Buddhist Wisdom Meets Western Therapy with Dr. Mark Epstein

1:11:55
31

Words Can Take You Anywhere with Arianna Davis

53:00
32

Master Your Inner Voice with Dr. Ethan Kross

1:06:21
33

Accelerating 10,000 Hours to Mastery with James Altucher

1:09:49
34

Transform Your Mind in 12 Minutes a Day with Dr. Amishi Jha

1:15:57
35

Powerful Habits to Ease Anxiety and Boost Productivity with Mel Robbins

1:15:17
36

The Art of Self-Reinvention with Malcolm Gladwell

1:00:45
37

Creative Acts of Curious People with Sarah Stein Greenberg

1:10:01
38

Self-Discovery, Activism, and Rock & Roll with Stevie Van Zandt

57:56
39

Why Design Matters with Debbie Millman

1:07:04
40

Discover Work that Makes You Come Alive with Jonathan Fields

1:15:34
41

Releasing Trauma and Mastering Your Emotions with Jason Wilson

1:05:35
42

Food Saved Me with Danielle Walker

47:16
43

Changing Our Relationship with Rest with Chelsea Jackson Roberts

49:11
44

Retracing Passion to Build Lasting Career Success with Chris Bosh

54:27
45

Old School Photography + Other Musings with Kai Wong

41:52
46

Escalate and Evolve: A Blueprint for Career and Life with Ben Uyeda

1:08:44
47

The Stories That Hold Us Back with Jon Acuff

1:07:22
48

Poetry, Vulnerability and Finding Your Voice with Jericho Brown

1:13:40
49

What Does it Take to be Backable with Suneel Gupta

1:05:38
50

Unlocking Creativity, Courage and Success with Rebecca Minkoff

53:00
51

How To Heal From Your Past with Dr. Nicole LePera

1:13:54
52

That Will Never Work with Marc Randolph

1:12:06
53

The Real Cost of Your Dream Life with Rachel Rodgers

1:02:44
54

Your Network is Your Insurance Policy with Jordan Harbinger

1:24:15
55

Dream First, Details Later with Ellen Bennett

1:14:45
56

We're Never Going Back with Harley Finkelstein

1:01:47
57

How to Shatter Limitations and Achieve Your Dreams with Steven Kotler

1:08:10
58

The Creative Art of Attention with Julia Cameron

1:05:23
59

The Path Back to True Self with Martha Beck

59:45
60

Upgrade Your Brain and Learn Anything Quickly with Jim Kwik

1:21:22
61

The Urgent Need for Stoicism with Ryan Holiday

1:11:30
62

Delicious Food Doesn't Have to be Complicated with Julia Turshen

1:14:35
63

Netflix and the Culture of Reinvention with Erin Meyer

56:27
64

Stop Living On Autopilot with Antonio Neves

1:07:38
65

How to Tackle Fear and Live Boldly with Luvvie Ajayi Jones

59:42
66

Go from Underestimated to Unstoppable with Jamie Kern Lima

1:05:03
67

Hard Work + The Evolution of Self with Priyanka Chopra Jonas

36:36
68

The Power of Idealism with Samantha Power

1:34:35
69

Pushing the Limits with Extreme Explorer Mike Horn

1:22:54
70

Fast This Way with Dave Asprey

1:15:34
71

Uncomfortable Conversations with Emmanuel Acho

45:59
72

Why Conversation Matters with Rich Roll

1:24:17
73

Elevating Humanity Through Business with John Mackey

1:15:14
74

When Preparation Meets Opportunity with Paul Ninson

1:04:14
75

The Art of Practice with Christoph Niemann

1:12:18
76

Matthew McConaughey: Embracing Resistance & Catching Greenlights

1:19:38
77

Starve the Ego, Feed the Soul with Justin Boreta

1:25:32
78

Tiny Changes, Remarkable Results with James Clear

1:20:55
79

Badass Habits and Making Them Stick with Jen Sincero

1:06:12
80

Break Free from Self-Limiting Beliefs with Dr. Benjamin Hardy

1:09:18
81

Imposter Syndrome, Getting Unstuck and The Practice with Seth Godin

1:13:19
82

The Art of Curiosity and Lifelong Wisdom with Chip Conley

58:47
83

The Lost Art of Breath with James Nestor

1:03:15
84

The Art of Reinvention with Sophia Amoruso

1:03:59
85

Harness Kindness as Your Hidden Super Power with Adrienne Bankert

1:08:26
86

Heal the Soul, Restore the Calm with Stephan Moccio

1:28:19
87

Finding Resilience & Possibility with Guy Raz

1:08:47
88

Truth, Fear, and How to do Better with Luvvie Ajayi Jones

1:18:22
89

The Future is Faster Than You Think with Peter Diamandis

57:56
90

Music, Writing, and Time For Change with Nabil Ayers

1:20:38
91

Freedom to Express Who We Are with Shantell Martin

1:10:34
92

So You Want to Talk about Race with Ijeoma Oluo

1:10:47
93

Photographing History with Pete Souza

1:16:35
94

Maybe You Should Talk to Someone with Lori Gottlieb

58:51
95

Never Settle with Mario Armstrong

1:38:11
96

The Science of Making Work Not Suck with Adam Grant

1:15:36
97

Street Photography + Capturing Truth with Steve John Irby

1:10:54
98

Life, Writing, and Real Talk with Roxane Gay

1:05:57
99

Steve Aoki: Creativity, Community and No Days Off

50:57
100

The Power of Passion and Perseverance with Angela Duckworth

1:08:25
101

Know What Drives You with Michael Gervais

1:05:20
102

The Code of the Extraordinary Mind with Vishen Lakhiani

59:07
103

Risk, Fear, and the Art of Chill with Jimmy Chin

1:13:51
104

Personal Growth and Understanding with Citizen Cope

1:16:21
105

Living Life on Purpose with Jay Shetty

1:20:06
106

Get Out of Your Own Way with Dave Hollis

1:08:10
107

Hope in A Sea of Endless Calamity with Mark Manson

1:15:12
108

How to Find Yourself with Glennon Doyle

1:10:16
109

Make It Til You Make It with Owen Smith

1:20:50
110

Surf, Survival, and Life on the Road with Ben Moon

1:08:01
111

Create the Change You Seek with Jonah Berger

1:00:22
112

Workplace Revolution with Amy Nelson

1:05:16
113

Rethink Impossible with Colin O'Brady

1:29:31
114

Good Enough is Never Good Enough with Corey Rich

1:25:24
115

Say Yes To What You Want with Chris Burkard

1:22:54
116

Finding Stillness In A Fast Paced World with Ryan Holiday

1:08:00
117

Everything is Figureoutable with Marie Forleo

43:50
118

The Art of Being Yourself with Elizabeth Gilbert

53:41
119

Creativity, Comedy, and Never Settling with Nate Bargatze

1:37:12
120

Personal + Career Reinvention with Jasmine Star

1:01:18
121

Stay Creative, Focused and True to Yourself with Austin Kleon

1:12:25
122

Ramit Sethi 'I Will Teach You To Be Rich' book launch with Chase Jarvis

1:07:17
123

You Don't Need to Be Rich to Live Rich with David Bach

1:09:51
124

Harnessing Your Human Nature for Success with Robert Greene

1:04:28
125

Addiction, Reinvention, and Finding Ultra with Endurance Athlete Rich Roll

1:07:41
126

Disruption, Reinvention, and Reimagining Silicon Valley with Arlan Hamilton

1:12:31
127

The Intersection of Art and Service with Rainn Wilson

1:03:25
128

Your Mind Can Transform Your Life with Tom Bilyeu

1:30:19
129

Do Something Different with Jason Mesnick

1:02:38
130

Less Phone, More Human with Dan Schawbel

1:07:40
131

Startup to $15 Billion: Finding Your Life's Work with Shopify's Harley Finkelstein

1:12:42
132

It Doesn't Have to be Crazy at Work with Jason Fried

1:49:02
133

Love, Service, and Living Your Truth with Danielle LaPorte

1:11:05
134

How to Do Work That Matters for People Who Care with Seth Godin

1:10:56
135

Happiness Through Gratitude with AJ Jacobs

1:12:54
136

You Are Your Habits with Julien Smith

1:03:40
137

Maximizing Creativity + Navigating the Messy Middle with Scott Belsky

1:09:10
138

The Most Important Conversation About Life… Death with Michael Hebb

1:13:38
139

Redemption and a Thirst for Change with Scott Harrison

54:58
140

Imagination and The Power of Change with Beth Comstock

1:12:29
141

Success, Community, and his cameo in Parks & Recreation with NBA All Star Detlef Schrempf

1:02:02
142

1,000 Paths to Success with Jack Conte

1:07:32
143

Unconventional Ways to Win with Rand Fishkin

1:37:49
144

How to Sell Without Selling Out with Ryan Carson

1:05:45
145

Be the Artist You Want to Work With with Nigel Barker

47:12
146

Your Story Is Your Power with Elle Luna

1:33:53
147

Celebrating Your Weirdness with Thomas Middleditch

1:14:04
148

Persevering Through Failure with Melissa Arnot Reid

1:33:23
149

Go Against the Grain with David Heinemeier Hansson

1:18:07
150

Stamina, Tenacity and Craft with Eugene Mirman

1:17:15
151

Create Work That Lasts with Todd Henry

1:06:50
152

Make Fear Your Friend

08:08
153

Tame Your Distracted Mind with Adam Gazzaley

1:12:08
154

Why Grit, Persistence, and Hard Work Matter with Daymond John

1:05:15
155

How to Launch Your Next Project with Product Hunts with Ryan Hoover

1:11:15
156

Lessons in Business and Life with Richard Branson

45:05
157

Embracing Your Messy Beautiful Life with Glennon Doyle

1:27:29
158

How to Create Work That Lasts with Ryan Holiday

1:20:25
159

5 Seconds to Change Your Life with Mel Robbins

1:14:53
160

Break Through Anxiety and Stress Through Play with Charlie Hoehn

1:08:10
161

The Quest For True Belonging with Brene Brown

1:29:41
162

Real Artists Don't Starve with Jeff Goins

1:19:16
163

Habits for Ultra-Productivity with Jessica Hische

56:18
164

Using Constraints to Fuel Your Best Work Ever with Scott Belsky

1:21:07
165

The Intersection of Art and Business with AirBnB's Joe Gebbia

1:19:56
166

Build a World-Changing Business with Reid Hoffman

1:19:31
167

How Design Drives The World's Best Companies with Robert Brunner

1:05:33
168

Why Creativity Is The Key To Leadership with Sen. Cory Booker

53:06
169

How To Change The Lives Of Millions with Scott Harrison

1:16:14
170

How To Build A Media Juggernaut with Piera Gelardi

1:21:04
171

Transform Your Consciousness with Jason Silva

1:08:02
172

The Formula For Peak Performance with Steven Kotler

1:01:40
173

How What You Buy Can Change The World with Leila Janah

1:04:10
174

Overcoming Fear & Self-Doubt with W. Kamau Bell

47:44
175

The Unfiltered Truth About Entrepreneurship with Adam Braun

1:21:36
176

Build + Sustain A Career Doing What You Love with James Mercer of The Shins

51:58
177

How Design Can Supercharge Your Business with Yves BĂ©har

33:40
178

Conquer Fear & Self-Doubt with Amanda Crew

1:29:39
179

Become A Master Communicator with Vanessa Van Edwards

1:19:52
180

How iJustine Built Her Digital Empire with iJustine

1:08:05
181

How To Be A World-Class Creative Pro with Joe McNally

1:05:19
182

How To Stop Waiting And Start Doing with Roman Mars

43:43
183

Gut, Head + Heart Alignment with Scott Dadich

38:17
184

If Not Now, When? with Debbie Millman

55:31

Lesson Info

Stop Living On Autopilot with Antonio Neves

Mhm. Mhm. Yeah. Oh, we love you. Good morning, Internet. How's it going? Welcome to another episode of the show. I'm Chase Jarvis. You know the show. This is where I sit down with the world's top creators, entrepreneurs and thought leaders. And I do everything I can to unpack their brain with the goal of helping you live your dreams in career and hobby and in life, we are live today. I'm very excited to welcome my guest. Antonio Neves is an author. We're gonna talk about his new book today. Uh, he's the host of the best thing podcast. A renowned speaker. I've seen him speak in front of huge crowds. Places like Big Omaha and my favorite places to go speak in front of lots of corporate clients like Google and others. He's also a success coach confession. I've I've asked for his favor a couple of times behind closed doors when I've been stuck. Uh, and he spent hundreds of hours in front of live television cameras where he was a host, A couple of national television shows. He's a dear frie...

nd. Coaches start up. CEOs, founders, politicians, entertainers, athletes and beyond. I consider my dear friend. Smart guy went to Colombia and we're talking about a bunch of stuff. But today importantly, uh, this week, rather stop living on autopilot. Antonio's new book hits the shelves My dear Friend, let's walk on with the big Internet applause Clap, tap, tap your keys wherever you are in the world Bringing in Antonio Neves, Antonio Welcome to the show him a good man. What's good, man? It's good to see you again. Happy, Happy today I love it. Congratulations on the book, but a big week for you, for sure. Oh, man, it's been exceptional. It's funny, this kid from small town Michigan who wanted to escape from the day he was born in the fact that this bad boys and bookstores as you know that feeling when you can walk in and touch it and feel it, it's pretty amazing. It, uh, there are a few feelings like it. And speaking of that book, just to show you up and tearing into this thing, I got all these pages dog eared and highlighted. And so I want to say thank you for providing some value to so many of us around the world, and, uh, but for those of you who aren't familiar with Antonio, I want to. If you would endorsed me for a moment, my good man. Not to pretend that we haven't known each other for more than a decade, but pretend that there's some folks I see people chiming in from Italy from New York. We got a New Jersey L A Sacramento. Where's New Zealand? In the house? I saw that earlier. To say we've got a worldwide audience would be an understatement. But for those folks who may be new to your work, give us a little bit of back story. Who are you? And, uh, where'd you come from? Yeah, well, as you mentioned today, what the Internet will tell you is that I'm a leadership speaker. In normal times, I traveled across the country anywhere from 5000 to 10,000 miles a month, giving keynotes to major corporations like Google. Amazon, too small credit unions in the middle of the country, I must say, sex coach, working with a lot of entrepreneurs, founders, executives, you name it. And as you mentioned how the author of stopped living on autopilot, I've been doing this work chasing off for about nine years when I branched off from after a 12 year career in the television industry in New York City, where I worked for major networks like NBC, where I hosted a business show, P B S B E T Networks, uh, started off with Nickelodeon long dreadlocks, and it still blows me with dreadlocks. Man, that was Another dude still blows me away when I think about moving to New York City with less than $1000 in my bank account with this dream of breaking into the television industry. So that's what the Internet will tell you about me today. I have to add. You know, I think the Internet is cool. Google Search is cool, but I typically find the most fascinating stuff about people would never show up in a Google search would never show up on the Internet. I'm from a small town in Michigan, one of those towns that people don't leave. I was raised not far from a NASCAR speedway. I used to sell race programs for the races. Those are some interesting days. I can tell you that for sure. Um, but today you know I'm the husband of G and I'm the father of a four year old twins, August and Harper so that that's the Cliff Notes version. Well, speaking of your bio, one of the things that I loved in the book and, you know to, I guess, to dive right in. But it's, I think it's a fantastic entree into any conversation where we want to learn a little bit more about you. And I think you use this as a vehicle to get into the book, which is while what is on the Internet about you. And I think this can be said for so many people that I know who are top of their class and world class performers in any discipline, what the Internet says about you and what you have been through, what you think about yourself. Sometimes at three in the morning, when you're staring at your ceiling, Um, those might be very, very different things. So if you would, why don't you talk about some of those things, things that aren't in your Google buyout? Or that people nice things that people say about you when they introduce you on a podcast or national uh, television show? And these are many of the things that you open the book with, which is again, I think, a fantastic way for opening your heart and reminding all of us that the world is not the shiny, perfect place that it might look like on the Internet. Um, give us a little insight there. Yeah, 100%. The Internet does not tell the whole story. I jumped the book off in 2016. Where according to the Internet, chase your boy Antonio is living his best life speaking all across the world, married, uh, newborn twins had the proverbial house with the white fence. So on paper, your boy was killing it. Lincoln look good. Even the bank account looked okay, etcetera. But the interesting thing is that my life that wasn't on the Internet wasn't going so good. Uh, I gained ÂŁ30 due to stress. Uh, being a husband of being a provider of being a father grew a big old beard man to hide the weight gain, which just so you know, it did not hide the weight gain at all. Um, became that dude that found himself numbering and sedating in the evenings, uh, economic sedate with Amazon prime and Netflix, but also more than likely that looked like numbing with that glass of wine or two. Or maybe sometimes three. Uh, funny enough when the stress and anxiety, uh, was going on, it was so real, I found myself doing something I never thought I would do. I became a secret cigarette smoker in the past, in my life in New York City, in different travels. Yeah, I've had that. You had that occasional cigarette with a beer with somebody back in the day, but I became a secret cigarette smoker, dealing with all the stress and anxiety that was going on for me, and I can still recall I would wear this bright green gardening glove chase. And I was smoking alleys in L. A. And the reason why I wear this bright green gardening glove is because my wife didn't know that I smoked, and I didn't want to smell the smoke on my hands. And I'll never forget that. One day I was smoking a cigarette in the Santa Monica Street alley, and what I perceived to be a homeless man came up to me and was like, Hey, man, can I bum a cigarette from you. And I'm like, Yeah, of course. Looked like he had seen much better days. We start talking like smokers do. At some point, he asked me about the green gardening glove and I'm like, Oh, my wife doesn't know that I smoke. I wear this so she can't smell it. Chase. He looked at me like I committed a crime like I was breaking a law and he said something to me, man, that I will never forget. He said, Hey, man, you got to figure that out. And there was an expletive expletive in there. You got to figure that out. And for me, that was a powerful moment because I was living on autopilot. I was going through the motions, even though everything on paper, I had checked off chase all of the boxes that the quote unquote American dreams said, You're supposed to check off. Yet here I was unfulfilled. We can get into why, you know, I think that was but this man telling me this homeless man but I had to figure out was a game changer. Well, thank you for being vulnerable, and I think it's, uh it is a great vehicle to get into your story. And more importantly, into what, uh, I think life is really about that is managing, um, who we are on the inside trying to make ourselves, you know, happy and fulfilled in a world where perceptions might not meet reality. And if I've learned anything from sitting down with hundreds of people on the show, you were a long time host on Creative Live. And, you know, we've done, you know, billions of minutes of basically live Internet. All of those folks, people who I think the Internet looks up to, um, renowned performers in every field. If I know anything, it is that is a unifying fact that we are all human, and the thing that it looks like on the outside trying to reconcile that with what's going on on the inside. Are we living our best life? Are we not just happy or successful? But are we fulfilled? There's often a gap. And what I perceived your book to be, um, stop living on autopilot is how to close that gap. Autopilot is the thing that the world wants for you. Or that you um yeah, that that that looks good. on the outside. But, you know, getting off autopilot is really about reconciling with who you truly are, what you truly want in the world. So, um, why did you write that book? Is this the thing that you know? My belief is that it's universal. But clearly, if you wanted to write the book, you felt like it was being addressed. So give me a little bit more on the why of your news book. Stop living on autopilot. You know, first and foremost, I found out that that that that I was in that funk that I was in, that I wasn't the only one. After I'd give keynote, I give talks. So many men and women across the country across the globe would come up to me and say, Hey, man, I'm not nearly as happy as I look on Instagram. I don't feel nearly as successful as I look on LinkedIn. So, first and foremost, I realized that I wasn't the only one going through something like this. Um, this book, first and foremost, there are so many self help books out there. There's so many personal development books out there. I wanted to do something a little bit different with this chase because I feel like a lot of the self help out there is kind of a pat on the back. It's like, Hey, man, everything's okay. It's gonna be all right And that's cool. You read the book. This book is direct, it's raw. It's definitely more of a punch, a soft punch to the esophagus to get your attention as opposed to a pat on the back. Because I feel like in society nowadays, one word we don't like to talk about it is accountability. And we can get into that here a little bit more because at that phase in 2016, I was pointing my finger at the world why things weren't working out for me, as opposed to pointing the finger at myself and asking myself some real questions. But this book is a real direct, raw encounter for the reader because you know, people and lives will tell us things like when things don't work out chase. As you know, people will say things like, Oh, well, well, maybe it wasn't meant to be, but I'm gonna do that, as the coach will say. Was it not meant to be or did you give up? Did you stop doing the work? We forget that and people even say things to the point of Ah, you know, it's it's never too late. It's never too late. And I'm that person that says, Yes, it's never too late And the longer you wait, the harder it's going to get so many ways. This book is a wake up call, but it also is the blueprint. It's also a reminder, because when I found myself in 2016 in a really deep and dark funk, I can still remember reading an article in The New York Times into business. Owners who started a business in the 19 nineties in New York City were being interviewed. And you know, New York City in the 19 nineties was a lot different than it is today in 2021 and at some 0.1 of the guys being interviewed said, Oh, man, I really miss the old New York. But his business partner corrected him. He said, You don't miss the old New York. What you miss is the old you, who you were during that time while you were starting that company that hustle that grind, that optimism, that love that you had. So I wrote this book because I found that in 2016 I found myself playing not to lose at life, as opposed to playing to win just briefly. We've all watched that football game or a basketball game when that team comes out and they're just killing it in the first half and they're up 33 to nothing at halftime. And then something happens. Chase. They come back. After half time, they were up 33 to nothing. It's the fourth quarter is two minutes to go, and they're only up by three points. And what happens is that team stopped playing to win. They started to play, not to lose. And those are two different ways we can approach life. So in many ways, this book is a reminder for people how to quote unquote play to win again. In what ways did you change when you had to face this reconciliation moment in 2016 and shift gears out of playing, not to lose and playing to when? Use yourself as an example here because I believe that in the in the particular lies, the Universal, right? Your story is going to be medicine and a reminder for so many. So tell us, if you would, um, in as vulnerable way as possible. What things? What specific steps you took in order to shift out of that instead of playing, not to lose playing to win and health. Yeah. First and foremost, I had to have that real honest moment with myself to where I was in life and the decisions I was and and was not making, had to take responsibility for that. You know, I think we always talk about making decisions, but we have to remind people that not making a decision is also making a decision. Uh, something else I'd realize during that time chase was that in my experience, I'm sure you agree with this 100% man. And that is no one who has accomplished anything of significance. Did it alone. But I found myself during that time retreating, uh, not returning friends, phone calls, text messages, not meeting up with people as much as possible. So one thing I had to do was recommit to my relationships. So, first and foremost, you know of my community of allies and here in L. A that I had to continue to meet with on a regular basis, Uh, second, something else that's critical. That made a big difference was I started going back to therapy. I think there are quite a few things that were unresolved in my life that I that I needed to address. I've always been a proponent, I'm a coach, and I've always been a proponent of working with coaches. Uh, one thing I really had to address Chase, and this does get personal for me, and it's on that time. Challenging to talk about is one of the reasons I was struggling in is because I feel like the manual, if you will. The guidebook I was given for life had come to an end. I think a lot of people can relate to that. We get to a certain point, but then the guidebook it ends and we have to take control. Uh, I was one year into marriage and look growing up, I experience a lot of instability chase between my mom. I moved up 15/ times before I graduate from high school between my mom and dad are a total of six divorces. My mother has been divorced three times. My father's been divorced three times. Uh, the truth was still at that time, I did not know what it meant to be in a successful relationship. So my marriage was struggling and we were in therapy deep into therapy. Because of that, Like I'm like, What does a good relationship look like? Even as a father, all of a sudden to newborn twins, my father wasn't in my life regularly growing up. He was there periodically on the weekends, those types of things. But I didn't have that stable influence of, you know, that fatherly kind of advice. So I was asking myself that question. What does it mean to be a father? So, first and foremost, I admit that I couldn't do it alone and I started reaching out for support. I started reaching out for guidance on a more tactical perspective. There things that I knew I needed to do as well. You'll appreciate this one. I realized at some point I had stopped learning, you know, education and learning is such a pivotal part of our life. You write about this and creative calling, of course, is the work that you're dedicated to today. But when I looked at my resume at some point man, I had stopped learning. And I'm talking about learning. I'm not talking about re enrolling and getting another degree. I have enough of those. But whether that's through podcast, whether that's through books, whether it's through courses like a creative live so I actually was setting in on the brain just a couple other brief things, Um, I realized I hadn't finished anything in a while. You know, we can look at positive psychology and how powerful it is. Regular, ongoing achievement. There was nothing in my life that was being finished at a lot of things that are 20% done, 80% done, 70% done. But I got committed to regularly finishing things. Uh, lastly, what what I'll share is, and this is gonna sound pretty trivial. But I found it made a big difference. Not just in my life, but also in my marriage was that I started putting things on the calendar in a way that I didn't before. My wife loves having things on the calendar to look forward to events, vacations, you name it. I've always been the person that, you know kind of wanted to go with the flow and was afraid to schedule things in advance because you never know. A speaking engagement might come up etcetera, but I committed to putting things on the calendar, uh, to look forward to, and those are three really small things, but three things that made a big difference. Learning again, finishing stuff and having things on the calendar. Thank you for the tactical advice. And at the same time, there's, um those tactics are so powerful, this concept of what are we living for? Things on the calendar. Um, and I think this realization, how important learning is is absolutely critical. So I appreciate you flagging those. And of course, I took a lot of those away from the book. This I want to go a little bit deeper on learning because you listed a handful of ways that you learn. Um, go deeper on that. What? What are now that you feel like you've shifted gears and we had a chance to touch base. Um, I was privileged to write a blurb on your book. And when you were in the in the writing process. You talked about a little bit about learning in that time, too. And, you know, again, I'm seeing people chime in here all all over the place again. Atlanta and Arkansas, Uh, got a couple other folks. And some of the questions I'm seeing are you know, what specifically did you do to learn? And did you put yourself on some sort of a regiment, or was it more exploring your curiosity? What? Give us some guidance on how you approached it. And if you have any advice Yeah, well, there's a variety of things first and foremost. Uh, one of the biggest things that made a big difference for me from a learning perspective is I'd remind myself of something, and this is gonna be It could be controversial to say, but I think what we've experienced in the past couple of years, uh, one I'd remind myself that I can learn from people that I disagree with. I think that's huge right there. I think a lot of times we think we can't learn from people we have disagreements with whether we know these people or not. So I had to recommit to even learning from folks I didn't necessarily disagree with in terms of a specific regimen. One. I'm a podcast junkie. Uh, there's not a day that I'm not listening to a podcast. And these are a wide variety of diverse podcast, from self development to news to history, to philosophy, you name it. I travel a lot and quote unquote normal times. So whenever I'm in that car or whether I'm on a plane, you name it. Uh, that's my That's my classroom. I've always treated travels that luxury where I could be in that classroom and continue to learn. So podcasts are part of that, Uh, second, I'm a nerd. When it comes to online courses like I love learning. I'm a guy that you know, has an undergraduate degree and has a master's degree as well. So I can't tell you how many online courses that I regularly invest in. And I just want to push pause for a quick second because I work with a lot of professionals and one thing that I have to remind people, and they don't like to hear this all the time chases that professional development is your responsibility, I say. Consider yourself very lucky if the employer that you have actually investing you and provide you with professional development opportunities. But I want to remind everyone here that professional development is your responsibility, and here we are is still only January. And if you don't have a personal excuse me, a personal or professional development plan available for yourself, create one. Those key things you want to learn over the course for you, whether it's for personal reasons or if it's for career reasons. So I take tons of online courses. Uh, something else that I do regularly is I like to learn from others. So as I mentioned to you previously, uh, I work with the coach. I always find it ironic. Chase. How many people that are coaches that don't have a coach like, How can you be a coach? Seriously, man, how can you be a coach? But you don't have a coach? I'm reading, not stop. I have a mission for myself every single day at minimum, to read 10 pages from a nonfiction book. Right now, I'm raising reading President Obama's book. It's like freaking 800 pages. It's part one or something like that. It's a B, it's Yeah, it's a beast. And I'm like, I try to read 10 pages every single day from the book, uh, the key thing, and this is a game changer for me and I realized I wasn't doing this previously, but I had to go back to Being a student is always carry a notebook around with me or my notes app, because I find that I hear some amazing things in these podcasts, or you learn something powerful and, of course, or you read something fascinating from a book. But it's fleeting. You can go away. So I document these things in a notebook. I write them down or my notes, and I find that when I document them as I'm going chase, they they stay with me like you. All my books. Once I finished a book like a highlight, as I read. Then I go back and actually take that book and I everything that I highlighted. I type into a document so I can always reference it, and it keeps me learning. It makes it easier for me to recall that when I'm on stage or speaking or having a conversation, etcetera. So again podcast online courses, reading books, uh, paying to work with coaches. Those are some of the key things that are beneficial for me. That's another really common theme that I think you know the folks again. I want to say hi to Lynn and Nini and Sergio and Mona Dave. People tuning in from all over the world. Just a reminder that the highest performers, the folks that have been on this show and creative live and folks that you look up on the Internet, they while they are world class, most of them that I know have, um, you mentioned allies. I'm going to get into that next. But also they have coaches Tiger Woods, the best golfer to, you know, one of the best golfers to ever play the game as a coach. And certainly the coach can't probably beat Tiger Woods on the on the course. But the function of a coach is goes beyond just that. The skills there's an accountability. There's all these different aspects of having a coach, and you know, you as a as a professional business coach, you know, just shared that you to find a coach and you know, uh, Mona here is asking about, you know, who are your coaches? Um, do these coaches support you with, you know, Is it is it mental? Is it is it medicines and and how do you track actual change with your coaches? So for anyone out there on the Internet, that's curious. Maybe you could talk a little bit more about maybe your coaching program and or how you work with the coach to paint a picture for someone who might be curious. Yeah, Before we talk about coaching, I think something that's really important to add about the educational component chases. It can't be ad hoc. It can't be random. Uh, most times during the week, I have it scheduled, so it's in my calendar. So I invite everyone here to make sure it's in the calendar for a lot of the high performers that that I know. One thing they do, if they can, is they have their kind of ideal week kind of set up like I know that I'm doing my podcast only there are two days a week that I can record. That's it. I'm not going to let some random person schedule that messed up my flow on Wednesday because Wednesday is my day to consume content like I feel like the work that I do. I do one of three things I present I consume or I create, and I try to schedule that across the week accordingly, so make sure you schedule those learning opportunities into your calendar. Otherwise, you'll get to the end of the day and realize you didn't do it from a coaching perspective. There are so many amazing coaches out there. I've worked with coaches one on one. I've done group coaching programs, which typically are more affordable than working with the coach. One on one. I do one on one coaching with people, but also I offer group coaching programs as well. And each experience with the coach can be totally unique. As Chase mentioned, you can work with the business coach. You can work. Of course, with someone a fitness coach, you can work with the quote unquote life coach. What I found pretty fascinating chasing the work that I do is I've been able to work some amazing CEOs, executives, names of folks you may, uh, recognize, but nine times out of 10, if not times out of 10 like I'm not in there helping them with their business. Maybe why they called me. It's a business challenge or something like that. But we tend to find out that it's a little bit deeper than that, and we have to peel back some layers. My approach to coaching is very journalistic. Uh, it's a journalistic approach. I'm a journalist by trade, So one thing I don't proclaim to have is all of the answers. But one thing that I have and one thing you definitely will get in this book are a lot of the questions to support you on your journey and to help you move forward. Um, one thing I want people to know is there seeking out coaches. And I even give you the name of one of the coaches that I work with, an amazing guy by the name of Mitch Mathews, who you would absolutely love. Um, Chase. Mitch Mathews is amazing group coaching programs, but also just one on one coach. One thing I want people to be aware of when it comes to coaching is this right here is that there's a difference between a coach and a consultant And even when I'm working with my clients, if I'm about to consult, I let them know like, Hey, I'm transitioning to consultant mode right now and just briefly, in a really basic way, a coach is definitely gonna ask more questions and going to inquire more. A consultant typically is going to tell you what to do. Here's the steps that you should take. Here's the playbook X, Y and Z. That's what a consultant does. A coach in many ways are gonna ask questions to lead you to that answers you gotta be careful with if you're working with the coach or if you're working with a consultant. Also in dollars and cents are a challenge. I've also find that you can get amazing coaching in the classrooms, you know, in the groups in the group chats that are taking place again. Whatever you are experiencing in your life, I got some good news. You are the only one to have ever experienced it before, So whether you're taking a creativelive course and you're talking in the comments or you're in a private Facebook group somewhere, a lot of feedback advice is going to be there. And if you reach out to me. Otherwise I can point directly. I can point you in the right direction of different types of coaches and coaching programs where you can learn more amazing laser advice and this distinction between asking questions and as a as a coach might do, um, and just providing answers. I think so many folks and when they signed for a class or or even go to therapy. What I hear is there is a disconnect because they just want someone to tell me what to do, get up and do. 20 pushups get, and there's a benefit to that certainly. But I think it's hard to overstate how, what a critical piece of the process, this self reflection is. Understanding how you tick rather than someone telling you what to eat and how many push ups to do. There's value there, certainly, But you alluded to this earlier. What in I sort of put a pin in, and I made a note here in my notes, app to go back to, um, when you are coaching someone or being coached yourself, there's often not always but often something deeper at work, something you said. I think peel back the layers of the onion to find out that there's something deeper going on and walk us through. How how you think about that because you glossed over it a little bit in the in the spirit of, you know, efficiency, I think. But I don't want to gloss over it because I think it's critical. Yeah, well again, not if not 9500% percent of the time. When people come to me, what they come to me is the best way to think about this chase. They come to me with the leaf on the tree. And this, by the way, as a journalist, this is what's fascinating to me because it's a journalist, a guy that's been in so many different newsrooms over the year. You go out thinking that this is the story, but you know, by the time you hit published on that or that runs on the news that evening or the documentaries published, what you thought was the story in the beginning ends up being something totally different. I'll give you a brief example from my television days. I remember covering gun violence in a city right. There's a lot of gun violence, youth gun violence going on Chase. And I thought the story was about these organizations that we're working to stop gun violence in this city. All right, let's go profile them, talk about the great things they're doing. Then we realized that actually wasn't the story. After some due diligence and research, you find out the actual story was there were so many challenges because these organizations were unwilling to work with one another. These non profits because they even though they have the same mission of stopping youth gun violence, they all were going after the same grant money. And so they wouldn't work with one another, right that so I had the leaf on the tree. So nine times out of 10 of my experience, my job as a journalist or a coach is if someone comes to me with the leaf on the tree, do great curiosity through great wonder through great listening through great question asking, I will then get them to pull back to the branch. I will then get them to pull back to the trunk. I would then get them to pull back. If all goes well to the roots you know the answer people typically give you Why are you late today? Oh, there was traffic. Traffic is just the leaf on the tree. If you dig into with the traffic and then you find out that they woke up late that morning and then you found out they woke up late that morning because they work a second job in the evening and they were exhausted. And they work that second job in the evening because they have to pay for an elder that lives in their family and their care. Things get a lot more interesting. It started with I'm late every single day because of traffic. But you peel back and you find out there's something totally different going on. Uh, people come to me a lot of times, I think with a beautiful house, if you will. But we keep putting these fresh layers of paint on the house. But sometimes, as you know, if you want to repaint the house, it's best to actually, you know, stripped back to the veneer to get back to the wood. And that's what my my work really is through asking great questions to get from the leaf down to the roots, and one of the best ways you can do that is continually to to ask the question Why, Wow. Yeah, and that was beautiful. Thank you. And, you know, as someone who gets asked to blur but a lot of books who got an early copy of your book? And if you're just now joining us again, we are recording today's show live from Around the world. And again, Mayor and Lynn and, uh, Bobby and Tam. 123 folks around the world. Thank you for being a part of our show today, but when? But I admire your out here sharing your journey of writing the book, why you wrote it also prescribing coaching. But what I found is that in your book, stop living on autopilot that maybe you don't need to completely transform your life. But in in reading the book in advance for for preparing Bullard for you and in preparing for our conversation today there there were questions there that were better than the coaching that I have had. Professionally. I've had executive coaches and, you know, I was on the Olympic Development soccer team and we had some pretty high end coaches, their mental coaches, physical coaches, strength training coaches and what you have done. And you mentioned earlier. This is a tight time financially for so many people. But I want to congratulate you on writing a book that, in many ways acts as a coach for, you know, for 25 bucks or whatever. So, um, again, if you're just joining me, I'm Chase. I'm sitting down here with my dear friend Antonio Neves, and we're talking about his new book. Stop living on autopilot. Take responsibility for your life and rediscover a boulder. Happier? You, um you talked about people second ago, so I'm gonna do a little bit of back tracking. And there's a part in the book. Um, you know, I've I say the words that if you're the average, the five people spend the most time with, and you ought to choose wisely. And I remember the exact I got. I got a page turned over here. The exact word, uh, word you used, but remember, Ally and, uh, sorry. One second here. Yeah, on 1 90. Got a big old dog. You're here, Um, building your team of allies. You also talk about allies and thieves. I'm wondering if you can go a little deeper on that and, uh, you know, I think about it in terms of community, but to use your vernacular building, allies and thieves talk about that for us for a second. Absolutely. One thing you're not have in common was that we were collegiate athletes. I wasn't as good as you. I was a walk on on the track and field team was a long jumper, long jumper and triple jumper. But I tell you that because two years of being on this track and field team chase at Western Michigan University, I was doing absolutely horrible. And the reason why I knew I was doing absolutely horrible is because one day in my head, coach Jack Shaw, rest in peace coach, came up to me and said, You're doing absolutely horrible. I think the only thing in two years of being on that team that I placed first and was in line at McDonald's after I track and field meets. But coach Shaw again keyword coach. He did something that changed the trajectory of my life. I thought I was going to cut me at the moment, but he did something else. He said. Tony, uh as he called me. He said, Hey, I don't know if you know this, but we have to all Americans on our team And he pointed to them, Chase 11 of these guys would go on to compete in the Olympics, and another one would go on to compete in the world championships. He says, We have to all Americans on this team. Yet in the two years you've been on our team, not once have I seen you spend any time with them, he said. Instead, you're hanging out with those guys, and he points over to the high jump mat. If you know anything about middle school, high school, collegiate track and field, the high jump matters. People laid back laugh, have a good time. You know, not bad people not committing crimes, but they're not all Americans, he says. You're hanging out with those guys and he just left and he walked away. And what Costa introduced me to in that moment, man, was this concept that I came up with car thieves. I call them thieves of ambition and allies of glory. So these of ambition is I like to put is are people that don't encourage us that don't inspire us that don't challenge us, that don't push us that don't hold us accountable and that don't test us to be the absolute best version of ourselves. Thieves are those people that when you spend time with them, they wear you out. We all know those people, whether it be at work or at home. They just wear you out. Energy, vampires, thieves Are those people that always and I mean always chase got drama going on in their lives. You call them, You're like, Yo, what's up? And the first thing they say is you're not going to believe what just happened to me. You're like, Yo, why are things always happening to you and no one else? The cool thing is, we get the opportunity to spend time with allies. Allies are those people that do encourage you that do inspire you that do challenge you, and they do push you and hold you accountable to be the best version of yourself. Allies don't take energy away from you. They actually give you energy allies instead of having drama going on in their lives. They have great things going on in their lives. Uh, challenges. Spending time with allies is that they're going to push you. They're going to hold you accountable. The reason why I did not spend time with those all Americans, which I later did, was because they got up earlier than I did. They ate better than I did. They passed on those social events that I went to write that they were willing to put in some work that I was unwilling to put in. I read, uh, something the other day on Social, and someone said that greatness is predictable if you look at people's behaviors and and actions, um, so I just invite everyone who's watching right now with listening right now just to think about the five people you spend the most time with. Or if you're not seeing people out right now, physically, just look at your last five text messages exchanges in your phone and ask yourself this question to the five people you interact with the most. Do they make you better, or do they keep you standing still exactly where you are? And we can also ask ourselves? Chase are you an ally to others or are you being a thief to them? I have to tell you the story that I think you're gonna love and that you're going to appreciate again. Allies provide what I call good friction, right? They're gonna push you. They're gonna make you better. And I know Chase. I know. I know you're an ally to so many people, and I know you probably walk in the room sometimes or like, Damn, he's gonna make us make it better. He's gonna make us make it better. Um, when I was in grad school at Columbia University and I was working on my master's thesis, my advisor Chase was a Pulitzer Prize winning author, one of the best authors out there to do it. And I used to hate turning in drafts of my master's thesis to him. One day he called me out on. He's like, Yo, why do you Why are you late turning this in? What is your hesitancy and turning in your master's thesis? These drafts and I said, My hesitancy is that I know that it's going to come back covered in red ink, and there's gonna be so much work to do, And he looked at me and smiled like I was a little kid and said, Don't you know you pay for the red ink you pay for the reading? That's where the magic happens in that good friction. But we've reached the station agent If anyone disagrees with us, If anyone provides tries to give us constructive feedback or criticism that what we call them an idiot, we get defensive. But, you know, listen, that good friction, that red ink where I found is where the magic happens. By the way, allies don't need to be your best friends. They don't need to be people you kick it with and hang with every single day. Chase. You're an ally to me. We don't talk every single week or every single month. But I'm still inspired by the things that you do. And I know if I had a question or needed some support of feedback, you give me 15 minutes if I needed it, and I know that wouldn't even be a question. I mean, there was a time when we first met Chase. You probably don't recall this when I remember when I first got your phone number you sent me your your your contact information on the, uh, on the IPhone or whatever. And I remember when I opened up your contact information how blown away that I saw your Paris phone number in there. I was like, this dude has a Paris phone number on top of his Seattle phone number, and that inspired me. That was like a moment that encouraged me that the small town came from seeing this man that has a Paris phone number. A Paris address, like it caused me to dream a little bit bigger. It was no, seriously. Little things like that man can have an impact on people looking at someone's phone number. So I just had to share that man. You've been an ally to me in so many ways, man. And you're the same, I think when you to, uh Well, thank you for saying that. That's heartfelt. And I did not know or remember that, but I also remember when there was a time when you were hosting on Creative Live, and we have, um we had aspired to continue to grow, and we were doing it at a pretty crazy, crazy rate and as we were working on our hosting program and the host for those of you who are familiar with creative lives, someone who facilitates live classes and sits in there and ask questions. And I've got some folks that are virtual hosts to me right now that are, you know, highlighting comments that the people around the world who are watching live are saying and you just came in and brought a completely different, uh, level of discipline and acumen having the experience of been being on live national television show, you know, as a host yourself as a journalist, Um, and I remember being inspired by what was possible with this program, how we could truly source incredible talent to, you know, add to the learning that was taking place and and how valuable that was. So, you know, hats off to you. I don't think I want to take my hat off. Right Next, my long ass hair will cover my face, But hats off to you, for that was the way that you inspired me early on in our relationship. So I want to say thank you. Um, appreciate that, man. That was That was that was a lot of fun, man. That was That was a blast coming up to record those, remember? Remember it Well, I want to go to the There's some comments and questions coming in. Um, I think one competent from Scott. Uh, Scott says, There's a reason why this just popped up, and I feel I feel it. I've been feeling like a buoy just floating along for a while now. And I just went to pick up the book on Audible Thank you, Thank you. So shoutout to Scott. And and then Mayor asks an interesting question. I'm pivoting careers now. New fitness and nutrition trainer, probably integrating my current career writer slash sculptor in the near future. How do we How can you speak to how I can make use of my past skills in my new direction? I want to just put a pin in that for a second and say, So many people are in a transition period right now, and I think this is exceptional because how does you know? Being a writer and a sculptor, you know, contribute to this new direction and maybe you're leaving, you know, school teaching because you didn't like you know, zoom teaching and you wanted to interface with the kids. And you can now and you're transitioning to a coach, for example. How how do we reconcile not living in the past, not being attached to what we consider to be identity or attributes? Um, And how do we sort of unhitch simultaneously respect our past and but yet unhitch our wagon to be able to become something new? This is a question for you, the coach. Yeah, that's a big question. First and foremost, I want to applaud you for being willing to pivot and make that change. A lot of people will talk about it, but they won't always do it. And it's not necessarily always easy. First and foremost, what you're doing right now is what most people will never do Is your being willing to bet on yourself. And one thing I'm going to encourage you to do is you know, you it sounds like you made a commitment to do that. One thing people don't talk about enough is the recommitment part of things. Every single day, you're gonna have to recommit to what we say is most important. You asked a question about how you can take your previously learnings and apply that to what you're doing right now. Uh, I've a chapter in the book. It's all about identifying what your story is. The truth is that sometimes the things we find boring or normal about ourselves, other people will find extremely fascinating. So again, I'm talking about those things that may not necessarily show up on your resume or your bio or your LinkedIn profile. I bet there are some amazing experiences and things you have from your previous profession or career that are actually going to add value to what you do that can give you some unique insight with the clients that you work with moving forward. I can tell you right now, being a journalist working in television, that brings me something special as a coach that helps me distinguish myself from other coaches out there. My level of journalism, that background helps me stand out. So I'm just gonna invite you to get curious about those things that wouldn't necessarily show up on a resume and bio that are your your secret sauce, if you will, uh, something else. I just want to invite people right now to remember is as they're looking to pivot. One thing this book doesn't tell you to do is to quit your job and move to Bali and start writing a book like I'm not telling you to quit anything. Right now. I'm not telling you to move cities, get a brand new job, move to the other side of the town. What a lot of people don't like to know is that, um, moving new jobs or things are temporary. Really? What we're trying to figure out is an inside job, you know, that's all just the external stuff. There there are people. A lot of people seek geographic cures or new job cures or new zip code cures. Those things are fleeting. They're only temporary. Um, but for those people who have jobs right now, they're looking to potentially do something else. I just want to reframe what your jobs are. Um, my coach that I work with Mitch Mathews said something to me that I'll never forget. He says a dream job is a job that you absolutely love, or a job that allows you to do what you love. And I found that when we reframe how we look at jobs. Uh, it can make us a lot happier that 9 to 5 that we may be frustrated with. That we may not be happy with when we reframe it as something that allows us to do what we love in the evenings or the weekends. Or we can explore that new position. Uh, things can totally shift. Um, What? I'm really getting across and chase. I write about this in the book. Is this willingness to be our own benefactor? As many of you probably know, artists over the years, whether we're talking about Moser Harper, Lee Picasso, they all had benefactors or patrons at some point in their life, people that have provided money, housing resources, etcetera so they could do their art so they could create. Uh, I think that if we look at our 9 to 5 job 9 to 5 jobs and a lot of people hate as our benefactors that they allow us to do what we want to do. All man, the whole game can change If we've reached this interesting place where it seems like people nowadays will only do something if they get an indie Go, go behind it or they get a kick starter behind it or if they get to go from me behind it. But what I'm inviting people to do is to be willing, uh, to kickstart themselves, to be willing to endorse themselves. Uh, does that mean it's going to be easy when you make these transitions? Absolutely not. If anything, expect immediate friction. Expect resistance. Uh, something that a lot of people won't tell you is that as you're making transformation happen in your life, sometimes it's messy. Transformation can be a messy process because the universe society people are going to continually ask you in unique ways. Are you serious? Are you serious? Because we're gonna put some roadblocks in your way to see if you are truly recommitted to that. We're going to keep the other door open. We want to see how you choose to show up. So I applaud her for being willing to pivot and sounds like what you're doing is being your own benefactor and being willing to endorse yourself, which I think is exceptional. Well, Mayor just chime back in on that same comment thread. Hey, I want to say just so you know I'll never stop writing. We're sculpting. And I think you know what Her or his her or their comment, Uh, in line with your sort of the discourse right there. It just it has to underscore that whoever you are and listening and watching right now that you you are wildly unique, the experiences that you might be having or not, but only you have lived your life and all of the stuff, you know, as James Victoria, my dear friend, I was just texting that before he hopped on, has said so. Well, what made you weird as a kid is probably one of your strongest attributes as an adult and leaning in. You know, you talked about leaning in quite a bit in your book here, leaning into those attributes and those identities and the thing that may be perceived as a weakness, uh, could and probably is one of your greatest strength. So, you know, for for mayor to bring that writing and sculpting along on that journey to becoming a fitness coach, you know, that's probably probably be all kinds of benefits to, you know, the work that you've done, and we can only connect the dots looking backwards, right? We only get to see that my attempts at being an oil painter for years and years and my coaching that I received as an athlete and my quitting medical school or dropping out of a PhD program. All of those things actually contributed to this weird blog that I am today that allow me to do, you know, something that is potentially unique and just we can't forget that. And I stress that, you know, you did such a nice job with that in the book. I don't know if you have any. I'm just ran in here because I think the advice that you just gave to marry Yeah, let me just say first and foremost I'm just so glad you're not a PhD Chase. I'm glad I did not forget the program. I promise. I'm glad that didn't happen, but that's the thing right now. A lot of people are trying to, as I put it in the book, people they feel off right now, but because they're trying to fit into something that doesn't fit right, it's like trying to fit into a shoe that's a half size too small. That's why you feel uncomfortable right now? One thing you hit on about the decisions you are willing to make, and this is a harsh one again. This book is definitely direct, cause I want people to know that you know their dreams. Have an expiration date like our dreams have an expiration date if we don't choose to act on them and don't get me wrong, I understand that that is hard to hear, but it's the truth. I truly believe that, um, a tombstone can have three dates the day that were born, the day that we give up and the date that we die. And sadly, for so many different people. There's a large gap between the date that we give up or the date that we settle, if you will, and the date that we die. And you talk about recently briefly about James, who I want to meet, by the way I follow him on social, and I just love everything he does. You talk about how the weirdness is, what makes it special. You don't know this place, but you're one of the people that gave me the courage to actually show up differently. Remember working with you and briefly just to rewind. When I was growing up, I thought success was that guy who lived on the other side of town in that nice house that had a garage. And he wore this uniform chase of khakis, white button up blue blazer, maybe with some gold tassels on it and loafers with tassels on it. For the longest time, I thought that's what success was the day that I get to wear that uniform. I've made it. Remember putting that on? When I got an internship in college, the khakis white button up blue blazer and loafers, looked at myself in the mirror and like I made it and I was like, I don't feel like me at all. Who is this guy I'm looking at? But for many years I wore that quote unquote uniform around with me and Chase. It wasn't until just a few years back, probably three years ago, that decided to stop wearing that. The speaker uniform. I used to wear the journalism uniform I used to wear, and I started dressing like me, the way you see now, Cat that likes to rock hat that rock sneakers that might rock a chore jacket and a nice a nice T shirt. And I was afraid the first time I went on the stage not dressed like everyone in the audience that I was gonna I was gonna be rejected. And the client was gonna be like, Who is this guy? Funny enough. I found that when I actually showed up like me. If anything, I got more respect from the audience. It built up my credibility because I was being me as opposed to being them. And I gotta say, you inspired me because I remember observing you early on a creative live. And I was like This dude, it looks like a dirtbag raised $50 million. He's walking in his own lane. He's not trying to be like anyone else. He's trying to be like Chase. And, as you know, Chase, one of the hardest things advice we can ever get is just be yourself. And it took me a long time to figure out who I am, and it's still an ongoing journey. But you inspired me about how you showed up and not caving into what societal norms tells us what to do. So I applaud those folks who realize their dreams have an expiration date and they're leaning into them. I applaud those folks are willing to be a little bit weird and go against convention. Let's be clear, societies that can fight conveyor belt they want you to jump on. And when you decided to jump off, just know that everyone is not going to agree with you and just no, just because you're going your own way, it doesn't mean you're going the wrong way. I wish somebody told me that a long time ago, beautiful. And to close that chapter on our last. The comments and questions that are coming in marriages chime back. I want to mention that I'm a 63 year old awesome woman, and so the transition to a fitness and nutrition coach from a writer and sculpture at 63. I want to give you a shout out, Uh, and it's just very inspirational. And and thank you for providing the guidance in real time, real time coaching here with Mr NEBs. Um, thank you for that, but I appreciate that. So I want to go away from the content of what you've been putting out right now away from the book again. Stop living on autopilot. It is available now. Just dropped this past week. Congratulations, and I can't recommend it enough again. There's my copy just folding, torn and beat up. I've been lugging around with me. Um, I want to go away from the content of the book and to your creative process. I remember reading and also speaking to you that you didn't go on. Some sabbatical just had Matthew McConaughey on the show, and he talked about going to the desert for 30 days to write his memoir, GreenLight's and You're Very Clear in both our conversations and in the book that was not your creative process. You created this book in amidst life in all of its challenges of being a father of twins and a husband and, uh, a coach and someone who traveled and now amidst a pandemic. And I'm curious if you could go a little deeper because there's so many people right now that are struggling to pursue their dreams because life is different and, uh, we're may be unable to carve out what would be considered enough time or enough space to pursue the dreams that we have to this one precious life. So talk to me about your process. Yeah, well, why not? You know, I glamorized like you said right in the book, and going to Vermont or New Hampshire's are going to McDowell or Yaddo some, you know, some colony to get away in the woods to write this book and just in general. But I'll say the best thing to happen to me was that that was wasn't able to happen because it allowed me to create. I think what was real. And I think if I wrote something somewhere else and that quote unquote perfect setting, uh, would have been very, very manufactured. It wouldn't have been a very different book. Uh, you know, by the way, I love Matthews book. It's amazing. Um, I've heard interviews. I'm talking about going away to the desert, and I'm, like, bless you. Uh, I, you know, people think that writing and doing creative endeavors sometimes going to be sexy man, they think is going to be a glamorous progress process. But I tell people not to remind myself sometimes that even when you're doing work that you love, it's not always going to feel like a sunny day. Rainbows and unicorns. Most days real talk for me. It feels like I'm working a shift sometimes, like showing up for the work. And I think that's where the magic happens in the shift when no one is watching. Uh, people here have kids. I have to work. I do that. I hear a lot of excuses, the same excuses that I that I've had over the time. I don't like waking up at 4:30 a.m. Chase. Let's be clear. But there are many times that I had to wake up at 4 30 so I could get in an hour and a half or two hours of riding in before my kids got up. And what that taught me to be was diligent man, cause I knew only had X amount of time. So I had to write during that time and require me being extremely structured. I like to sleep on planes as much as the next man or a woman, but sometimes I knew that wasn't necessarily the luxury that I had, uh, this book and a lot of my creative projects. I go to libraries, I go to cafes I do something that you, you something tells me you may not love this The idea of this, but I work in spurts. So if I know I have three hours at the library, what I'll do is I set a timer for 45 minutes and I write for 45 minutes or create for 45 minutes and then I have 15 minutes to do what I gotta do. Take a break, go to the bathroom, have some water. Then I'll set the timer again for another 45 minutes. And so I write my writing. Everything for me is scheduled. In many ways, it's organized, and I think that's because I've been alive long enough that if I grow a beard, I have some gray hairs that show up on my chin that, like I'm not waiting for motivation to strike me. I'm not waiting for it to hit me out of the blue. I know what's going to show up in the midst of my riding. As SF, Golden says. Well, he brilliant years has brilliantly has said on your podcast. Um, it shows up when I'm working right, and so as long as I commit and I show up every single day. Uh, you end up creating your own momentum. I find out when I show up every single day, even if it's just for 15 or 20 minutes a day, it works. Kind of like compound interest. Is that that snowball effect like the idea is that just that just come out. So my creative process is not sexy. It's not glamorous. Uh, sometimes I have to put the white noise on the headphones. But one thing I'm committed to is showing up every single day, even if I don't feel like it. Last thing I'll say on that. I'm working with the coaching client right now. And he had this amazing revelation and he said, You know, I've realized that how I wake up meaning if he's grumpy or tired doesn't have to determine how I show up, meaning he can still show up with a good attitude. He can still show up with the effort that he with the good effort, uh, and the behaviors that, um, you know, lead to good outcomes. So it's a choice. Uh, but it's not. It's not always, uh, sometimes doing the work you love feels like you're working a shift, and I don't think enough people know that, you know, it's so well put and contrary to your your supposition, I didn't I didn't have any issues with anything you said there. In fact, it's sort of what your your your methodology of working for 45 minutes and taking minutes off is similar to a technique called a Pomodoro technique. Um, which is a sort of a type of timer where you, you know, you work diligently, no distractions for X amount of time. I wrote about it and create a calling. You can Google it. I got that from that inspiration from Justin Beretta of the Glitch Mob Electronic Music Group. Your friend has been on the show, so I'm a huge fan of that, and I think it creates discipline, and you talked about showing up and doing the work. I, too, did that four AM thing 4 30 in the morning when life was very busy, and I actually made videos of those moments to remind myself how much it sucked, but and how confused. And you know how dark it was outside and how it was the opposite of inspiration, but I think it's Chuck. Close is like, you know, the best creators don't wait for inspiration to strike. They sit down and they go to work. And if you waited too two create only when you're inspired. You wouldn't have very much stuff at the end of your creative days. So, um, I agree. Just briefly. I just encourage people This is the sound counterintuitive. I like to remind people sometimes do less than you're capable of. Yeah, you heard me correctly. Do less than you're capable of Because people will say things I'm gonna write all day. No, you're not. You're not gonna write all day. Put it for the time around for 37. You know, I'm gonna write for 15 minutes today. And what's amazing is you know, Chase, if you write 15 minutes every single day, Do you have any words you're gonna have in seven days and 30 days in days, etcetera? I'm gonna work out every day. No, you're not. How will we start with walking for minutes? Three times a week? How about we start there and just show up for those three days and let that build? Because As you know, Chase, you may say I'm going to write for 15 minutes, but typically that that fall and all of a sudden is 20 minutes is minutes. I'm just asking people to get started. But sometimes the best way to start is by doing less. Then you're capable of beautiful. Um, Mutar media from Germany says Hello, Thank you so much. And Tony Ortiz from play to Cover in Mexico. Jennifer Maloney says, this is pure gold needed this so much. Terry, So easy to listen to you. Thank you so much for validating us. Um, to say that the watchers and listeners are inspired would be, uh, understatement. But I would also remiss to that would be remiss to say, Antonio, you have put in the work and what I loved about this book And you The person that I know is, uh, you've continued to do that through thick and thin through all kinds of transitions in your life. Um, and your willingness to share that openly, transparently invite others to see inside your, um, imperfection, you know, burn a brown, a quarter, the gifts of imperfection. That's the best stuff in life. So I want to say, you know, personally as a friend and as the host of the show. Thank you so much for showing up today. Clearly, Um, clearly you're having a massive impact, and I want to say Congratulations on the show. I want to ask one last question that just came in that I think is really well timed, and you've used this phrase so many times throughout our conversation. It's mentioned numerous times in the book, and Bill Pill Heuser floats this question and I'm going to end with today, which is you talk a lot about showing up, but what is your version of showing up? How would you Antonio define it? My version of of showing up? That's a really, really great question. Um, I want I've worked enough jobs and had enough experiences over my life that I know what is not to show up. I know what it's like to go to bed, frankly, chase and feel like I haven't earned my sleep for the day. I know a great, great chapter in the great section of the book. By the way, sorry to interrupt you being willing to earn your sleep. I don't know about all of you. Um, but I feel taps on my shoulder. I feel tugs in my stomach when I'm not showing up the way that I can show up as a husband when I'm not showing up the way that I can show up as a father. Friend uh is an entrepreneur business owner as well. And I just want to know, at the end of the day, I did what was most important, and I gave my all to that. And for me, that is meant doing less. In the past, I've been really good at spreading myself extremely thin. But the question I start my day with every single day from a business perspective, is if only three things happened today to make that will make this day a success. What are those three things? And let me tell us, like when Jim Collins book good to great says if you have more than three priorities, you don't have any. So when I kind of set that baseline for my day, what are the three things that are most important? Uh, that gives me purpose for the day, and it allows me not too distracted with what comes into my inbox, and I have to remind myself sometimes that my email inbox is not my to do list. It's a good distraction, by the way, uh, so I show up by knowing what those three things are. Um, I show up, uh, as a husband, um, asking him, I fully leaning into that. And I have to remind myself sometimes chasing when I first started dating my wife and how I showed up in those early days and how much of that man still exists today, Is he still listening? Is he still asking those questions? Is he still pulling himself together to look good for her? You know, um, as a parent, there's always been a dream for me to be a parent. And, you know, I've asked myself as my has my phone been between me and my kids too much today. Have I said, give me five minutes to many times today? Um, I'm not sure if I'm 100% answering the question, but I know, I know. I know deep in my soul, even if I'm physically tired, if I earned my sleep or not, and uh, and I don't like the feeling when I haven't earned my sleep. Um, and that's when I'm on autopilot. That's what I'm going through the motions, and I want to feel like my foot on the pedal at all times. Sometimes I'll be going over 100. Sometimes I'll be at 25 MPH and there's a time for all of those speeds. But I know deep in my core and my hunch is everybody listening this right now. They they have that That that voice in your head that talks to them that says this is it or this isn't it? Or there's more. You got five more minutes in you. You know what? You can put your phone down. You can hug love a little bit more. So, uh, yeah, I just do my best to earn my sleep, Man. Amazing. Thank you so much for putting a beautiful bow in our conversation. Owens giving you a shoutout Redonda. Thank you. This has been an amazing listen. Hurt so many things that resonated. Douglas Brown. I've heard enough, man. I just bought the audio book and cannot wait to listen to it. Alison greeting from Santa Barbara. Thank you for the motivation. Ls from Montreal. This is a gym. Daniel said, Keep going. Keep going with all of this. Thank you so much for being on the show. Um, again, I want to take just 20 seconds here and say, I appreciate you respect you so much as a person as a creator. Congratulations on this book dropping this week. I know how much time and energy and effort experience you poured into it as the coach and the person, um, just want to say I see you and grateful for all that you do, my man. Thank you so much for being on the show. Thank you, Chase. Mm. Yeah, yeah. Mhm.

Ratings and Reviews

Dream Focus Studio
 

By far the best classes on Creative Live!! Thanks Chase Jarvis for bringing so much greatness to the table for discussion! Just LOVE it!

René Vidal
 

@ChaseJarvis - love chat with Gabby about hope and the "relentless optimism" you share at the end of Creative Calling. Many thanks. -- René Vidal McKendree Tennis

bob
 

Excellent interview with thoughtful questions. Thanks!!

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