Finding a Photography Mentor
One thing teo is for those of you who are tweeting thank you so very, very, very much part of what people don't know is that what really drives the course is tweet tweeting and twitter and driving conversations because what happens is that social media things like twitter and facebook and things like that you are really making the community smaller and so whereas five years ago it felt a little bit isolated and even five years before that it was extraordinarily isolated people are now connecting in different arenas and realms and so you guys are following to ask jasmine hashtag or in the forums or on twitter talking back thank you this is what's making this course the success so finding a photography mentor I'm just gonna come out and say the likelihood of people finding photography mentor won't happen like I just want to put that out there because people believe like well I'm just gonna say how it is right? I mean, I waited a very long time toe work with somebody that I was that I was...
happy with somebody I wanted somebody did take me under his or whore wing and slowly rock me and say everything was gonna be okay I'm wish I was lying and being like figure but I'm totally not those were my exact words I jenny I just want somebody to take me under his wing and show me the ropes guess what, it's not gonna happen because how do you expect somebody to help you build your business? Why would somebody investor own time, energy and money into helping you leave their business? So now that we have that on the table anything that happens beyond that is wonderful. So when you come because I came stupidly from places like why aren't people gonna help me just teach me the ropes? I don't get it. Well, of course not. It was up to me like pull up your britches and run. This is what right? What? Our britches pants. Okay, I thought that I needed to make sure that underwear wait a minute did I just say something wrong? Okay, yes. So pull up your britches and run because this is how it's gonna have to go anything beyond that is cool and grady and count your lucky stars. So having talked about that talk a little bit about how I had a photography mentor now I say this in very loose terms I never had somebody walk me in on a daily basis and having conversations I never went out consistently to coffee with somebody. It happened on the job I call him my photography mentor I don't even know if he knows that I call him my photography mens are basically it happened like this I was on o s p the photography forum and there's this photographer by the name of my cologne and he is like, you know, a pretty big wig photographer shooting these really amazing weddings and a lot of people respected him and he decided to have ah workshop so he puts out this workshop and instantly all the chattering o s p is going on and people from always pee although like popular cool kids are like let's all go and we'll make it like a campout like kumbaya and we'll get a write off it will get a photography session we're all gonna hang out in real life and so guess what I'm doing in my storage office with my blasted sandwich in my brown paper bag thing people who are at this good it can't afford to go to a twelve hundred dollar workshop or seventeen hundred dollar workshop two thousand other workshops let me make that and I was just again, well you guys jealousy, andy, you know, I'm just gonna call it for what it is, and so then I had two options at this time and already been engaging in a wispy and I on ly had two options one I could simmer in my own venom and just hated me like whatever or the second option could be participate in a conversation that is closely related to me at the time were living kind of lay area and newport beach it was about a forty five minute drive from where we lived and I thought if everybody is gonna be a newport laguna beach area well then maybe I can help and just have conversations where people should stay what they should do so I became engaged in the conversation that is what happened well unbeknownst to me they decided to have a mixer I get together for people who were local and participants of o s p so I was totally nervous to meet all these people because you know how you are online is different you know in person so I'm always worried like I'm going to let these people down you know I'm clearly not as cool in person as I am because at times like when you're writing like this is really clever no no it'll be yeah this is better you know, in real life you're like god where's the delete button you know like so anyway they said we were gonna meet at for the mixer hypothetically like thursday at seven pm and they all had rented this house in laguna beach they said we're gonna need it some him everybody meet there totally nervous and I wanted to be the cool kid so I get dressed up I overthink my outfit I have jd like approved not approve like okay do I look like I'm trying too hard because I look like I'm trying too hard I need to change what? I mean, seriously, high school, like my eighth grade, okay, and so, anyway, I get there and I'm like, really, on time much to my default because you can't ever be cool when you're on time, like clue this morning, I was on time and yashoda ball coolie and I was like, okay, I'm totally like dorky, yeah, I know within reason, of course, so I get there on time and it's completely dark outside of this beautiful home in laguna that's, gated, and I was like, I'm here by myself. Wow, this is really cool way to be cool, jasmine way to be cool, and then I see this other guy and like a leather jacket and he's kind of hang out by the gate, and I'm assuming, like, maybe he's going to the mixer, so I like, go up to him like, hey, how's it going? And I am naturally, I know I'm not even a sarcastic I'm a really shy person, any guys like no, yes, I'm so shy, and I know that I have to, like, bring it because we're talking, having conversation, and I would put people on their deathbed if you'd just be talking for eight. Hours hey, this is a long workshop I'm not like this all the time people say are you like that old time? Well sometimes but like could you imagine like my poor husband branding baby we're about branding today way go god a lot calmer I'm very, very, very shy anything that stems from a lot of things from my childhood and I think that it's allowed me to be like a watcher and a looker like I wasn't a wallflower like I'm the frickin wallpaper you know, I don't even come off the wall and so for me to go up to greg is he greg? But I love him to bits and pieces he was there and I was there and we just started chatting he didn't know anything about me and I didn't know anything about him except that we had been looks slightly participating in those peace talks about what he did, how he did it a couple other people arrived now the actual crew that was staying in the house we're running late from the workshop so this is basically was he and I feel like ten minutes and then two other people showed up for another like ten minutes and finally the doors open and we walked in and there was, you know, see you online type thing and so then I followed up a couple days ago with an email a couple days ago, a couple days later excuse me a couple days later and I was like, hey, it was really nice meeting you a check that your work, like, clearly, congratulations on a job well done, we started chatting on always pee and on email, and we just kind of got to know each other and about three, four weeks later, he's like, hey, I'm I'm having a shooting, a wedding. Do you want to come and be a third shooter? And I was like, yeah, so the time between my first check it second shooting opportunity and my second second shooting opportunity was about five or six weeks, and during that five or six weeks, I'm talking about dealing with the jealousy, dealing with e nd talking about the decisions that I could make, I can choose to be happy, and I can choose to be upset. I could choose to be jealous, or I could choose to be happy. These are choices that I'm making, and unbeknownst to me in retrospect, the personal decisions that I made for myself reflected directly to my business, and when I started changing this kind of like perception and attitude, I think that new opportunities presented themselves. So greg asked me to come and be a third shooter no strings attached I was able to use the pictures online without anything like no expectations but I wasn't gonna get paid and I was like, okay, fine, this is the coolest thing ever so he invited me to be his third shooter and I went and um a couple weeks later he's like I have another wedding do you want to be the third shooter was like, yeah, great and so about three weddings three, four weddings in as being the third shooter he says I haven't have wedding coming up and the second shooter the second you can't come do you want to be the second shooter? And I was like, oh my god, yeah like I was trying to be like and I got this email of course at work where my storage said right? And I'm just like my fingers are shaking like I'm gonna be a second shooter it's like, you know you have your sound of music like doe a dear you know, I was just like, I don't know I was just so happy I call jd I would like to be a second shooter and I'm still expecting at this time to not get paid so I go and we shoot the wedding and a few days later in the mail I get a gift card to chili's and I was like, I've made it we're getting a bloomin onion way. We're going to chili's and we're going to do it up dessert, you know, I remember. What? How are we rolling? We're rolling on pb and j and taco bell. You give me get pardoned, chilies, it's like birthday time. You know, we're going deep, so we go to chili's. We're having the best time and what the chili's card represented was trust this person invited me because he saw what was happening on. He saw that I was willing to do whatever. Whenever, however, and gave me a gift card ish. Elise invited me again for his following wedding. So now I'm thinking, oh, my gosh, I think this guy kind of likes me. I think we're messing really well. I met his wife and his kids. Well, this is really cool. Got my gift card, a chili's. Scylla is a school. And after second shooting three weddings with him, we go. And we would get the gift card a few days later. So I was never, like, presenting like, oh, you know, it was like it was like it was like a thank you. And at the end of one one one wedding he's like, do you think he's like I think I want to pay you for this wedding, you know? Do you think that this amount would be okay if home he gave me twenty five dollars? I would've been like yes, you know? So he gave me what was, I think a very fair amount and I was blown away like I'd never been to that point ever been paid to do something and I went home that night and I swear like dates in our living room with the cheque tucked in my pocket I was like, oh, hi, we're gonna olive garden I like fine dining bread six yeah, I was just like, we're doing this up, right s oh, my god! And that was like the first time they started doing here I am like a heffer I'm talking about their sauce boat to get the sauce boat. Did you guys even know we're like legit oil? Olive garden people, you get the sauce boat like the dipping sauce. So it's two seventy five and you can get maren era or alfredo sauce or you get half and half boom, yeah, that's, right that's what we did with our money anyway anyway, yeah, photography and all guarded, you know, we're deep thoughts people, deep thoughts, ok, that's, what we did with the money and I think what it did was it opened doors for me to start realizing that what I was doing the steps that I was taking was okay if somebody was consistently inviting me back to shoot with him or her it was letting me know that ok I think that that whatever I'm doing is working and I'm not going to break it during that time um when I started posting when I started posting these images and unbeknownst to me too when I posted the images and this is what this is what is so great about greg I was posting the images to my blog's and I would just be like oh I shot a shot because at the time what my blob was was just what I was doing on a daily basis o went out to eat here oh wouldn't did this like if you look at the old log it's very bayan aul and I was like oh this past weekend I shot a wedding and how exciting how excited I am and it wasn't until three four weddings and that greg's like usually what people do is they add a link to who they shot it with I am so sorry so gracious if you are ever in the position to criticize or kind of like fix something that you feel maybe his approach he could have been he could have gone on forms that can you believe what this girl did or he never invite me back like he just approached it like an adult and said this is usually what happens I was like I'm so sorry thank you he knew I didn't know which way was up be gracious you know they hurt you once fine they hurt you twice it's your fault so I will totally and it here to think I made mistakes as a second shooter and he was very gracious. Speaking of that, the more we started shooting he said, oh, I think it would make more sense if you drove to my house and then he left from here for him for farther like south orange county weddings I think that it made him feel better with the two of us traveling together I was like totally great awesome and I can save on gas so I would die from my house to his which is about fifteen, twenty minutes and then we would go to the weddings together now it was during this time that this is why I feel he became a photography mentor. We would talk about everything his mother in law at the time was diagnosed cancer. My mom had just gone to cancer, so we connected on that level we talked about his kids, we talked about his goal that's what he wanted to do and that like ways he's talking about my life too, and sometimes we would go and get something to eat before the wedding. We just talked about that. It was just totally this cool like we were homies, I liked him and he liked me and that was the best thing and there's this one time where I knew something, could I say, it's something was wrong with my camera? It wasn't me I, uh, actually wrote a blob post about it. He said that my camera was speaking, I think it's a japanese, and I only speak english. I was so frustrated, I didn't know what was going on, and so I gave him what he did at the end of every wedding was he'd get my cards and he had a little card reader and he would put them on a card reader, all of the images, and you take everything that I shot that day, so I didn't have a chance to go back home and try fixing them or, like do a little prayer dancing like, oh, god, fix these pictures, although I did second shoot with a diff a photographer, and I had a terrible experience awful high made big mistakes. The photographer didn't deal with me so well, I thought I was gonna quit photography if you felt like that life goes on and, um as greg and I were driving. He asked me very nicely. He's like hey, do you think anything happened less weak with, like the images like have you had opportunity to look at them? Yes, he's like, do you know, like what exposure is and if you overexpose and so it wasn't like he came at me like, hey, you really sought and he still paid me he's still, I don't know if he used the images and he invited me back. That is a testament of a nice human being, not just a nice good photographer. I feel like I owe him so much. And still to this day, one of his goals was to teach other people photography. So he got a professorship at a local college in or a local community college, and he teaches a class there. And still to this day, every single year, I will go back to his class and I will speak to his students because there's no greater human being who can embrace somebody and their mistakes and wish them the best. I was given a gift with a red bow. I know that and I promise. And the thing was prior to me getting involved of greg. I flung myself on the bed one day and I was so angry because I had read about how this one person got a studio this one other person you know, book there seven hundred and eighty seventh wedding and this other person her daughter was on a roll over the eighteenth time I was just like I just can't take it anymore I can't get a frickin break if my life depended somebodys throw me a bone I was being a petulant, demonic child that's what? I was being flung myself in the bed I was like, god, can you just send me something some one? I need help because I can't do this nothing weeks four, five weeks later I meet greg five six weeks later I'm shooting with him on a consistent basis, so over two and a half months I'm having conversations with somebody who's saying, hey, you're really screwed upon that exposure we gotta fix it explained how to control it in my camera all of a sudden a light bulb went on what greg was making me was a better photographer. What he was giving me was a stronger portfolio and what I did with that performed it was yes, I continued to shoot with greg, but it also opened doors for me to shoot with other photographers I was second shooting like three times a month because I was able to use those images online and greg started passing my name around were like, hey, because solid first photographers are always on the hunt for solid second shooter's, because one, what does come back down to you trust? Can I trust that person? And so all of a sudden, if you're a good second shooter, I talk to candace came to second shot thirty three, thirty three weddings last year, and I don't think that candace will even say that she's the best second, you know, the face of this earth, I feel like candace gets people to trust her, that is worth its weight in gold, and I started to get senate second shooting with other photographers, and so I probably second shot before shooting my first wedding, I probably second shot in the ballpark of thirty five to forty weddings, so I knew the ebb and the flow of wedding day, so that is so important, I know people are always exception, I shoot a wedding, if I don't have the experience, I'm like, I can't say yes, but I'm not going to say no because I am not you and I don't want a dynamic, but it helps so much for you to confidently approach your first wedding, so let's talk about how to find if it's out of human toward jasmine can interrupt you yes, I have a comment from sarah mariel in the chat room who said her five year old son said of you wow, she sells beautiful oh, that is really so nice I'm actually extremely self conscious of my voice so thank you seriously ariel sarah mary sarah mariel like yeah, so I always will you really don't have it at home like I feel like my voice a little bit like this that's why talk not so annoying when I get excited or I'm trying to like bring it on okay until I sound like a twelve year old at a hannah montana concert this'll I've roll that just rocks my world so thank you sarah okay, so how to find him photography mentor I want you to get uncomfortable had I not gone to the to the mixer, which is totally not what I do I was never the party girl in college or in high school like I don't have experience of standing around a cake, you know, it's just not really what I do so always look a little crazy for me, so I'm like, okay, so I went by myself to do something outside of my comfort zone and it made me extraordinarily uncomfortable if you're not uncomfortable, you're not working hard enough, I'm just gonna tell you I'm gonna rub you the wrong way because by the time when you get uncomfortable and things start happening to be like you know what, maybe she might be right I want you to show your true colors there's no better way t get people's approval or trust by showing completely who you are now I will say that I second shot with a a few of the photographers and I was never asked back fine if my true colors wasn't what they needed or wanted on their wedding day fine great but there were some photographers was consistently asked back to shoot with them and I do think it's because I was one hundred percent myself so be one hundred percent yourself and you'll move forward um I want you to care about the person, not just the photographer so when you figure out like um I sent greg and his wife get well card or something for his mom things like that or having just a regular conversation it's like a view you know greg and I would see each other two weeks apart for each other in those two weeks like hey, whatever happens your daughter's dance recital, whatever happened here? Whatever like those types of things all of a sudden people like, you know, I just like her as a person and I think that she likes me as a person and even kind of forge from their outshoot outrun out hustle that is just it in a sea of thousands of talented photographers all who want second shooting opportunities what is going to make you stick out yeah you could be fun and yeah you have great conversations but this first photographer can have fun and great conversations with a lot of people I want you to have fun and great conversations and then I want you to outshoot I want out I want you out hustle it is it is as much as a game like a competitive nature to make sure that you're taking care of your team meet that's what how I want you guys to approach those types of things in the future do you have any questions right now chat room she got a latina let me tell you something um I mean where to start judgement um have you ever had a client unsatisfied about a job yes had a journalist's nice answer eso no I haven't had a client who was unhappy and very very very thankful for this notion but it goes back down to what I feel like I'm trying to preach which is outshoot outrun out hustle and I mean this in every capacity I mean this is a business life I mean this in a personal life I mean this in a client care like I know that I am out shooting for my client I know that I'm out hustling for clients I know that I am running for my god I'm trying to forget all the other sounds mart no I mean like those types of things those are your clients notice and as you're shooting I really do believe it's our job to educate as we shoot clients don't know good light planes don't know fun pictures clients don't know that an urban area can actually photograph extremely well people often think that when it's overcast like oh I'm so bummed it's overcast and you know their wedding they want to do a first look at it like two o'clock and it's overcast like oh thank you sweet baby jesus we can't shoot anywhere now and so I could be like yeah working it no this is beautiful favorite like the life can be beautiful like shooting the big soft box just like studio lighting is like models using like yeah you know that kind of stuff I think create it's like that lovable expectation for what they want and what you'll give them again and again and again under promise and over deliver so yeah when it comes to client care I haven't been caught I had a client unsatisfied but if I did and I would do everything in my power to make it right can I just say since the last workshop that over promise and under promise and over deliver thing that stuck with me you comply to anything anything in life so yeah so definitely happy jasmin yeah, I have a question from cheese bucket uh I like this person already way um and you might be shocked with this but the question is jasmine how did you transition from being a second shooter to the main cheater and with regard to the conversation that you had with greg around you wanting to do your own thing? So what was that? Oh yeah great knew I wanted to do my own greg greg want want you to do my own thing which is why I think he's a beautiful human being I think he has a good heart and I do know that I am the anomaly okay? The greg's don't really exist and so people are just like oh, what she's lucky I firmly believe that luck is when preparation meets opportunity I was prepared for the opportunity that greg had given me because I had shot that dark orange tree I had shot those running shoes and I shot that dang chair and guess what? He wasn't bringing me on because he thought I was the best shooter I know that he was bringing me on because I wanted him I wanted his business to succeed more than I wanted my business seed and because of that he wanted my business just proceed as much as he wanted his business to succeed when you could find those people to pay yourself up in your life take it and like run it's a win win all about creating one wins definitely cool any more questions or behind here, and I like scratching because you're doing such a great way. I have yet to watch any of the creative live from must have seen it like ten times just I I've never seen it, I don't think I can stomach it. In december, when they did this big promotional deal of creative life, craig decided craig and john and chase decided to re air about twenty increment, about twenty to thirty minutes from the workshop, and so is in december it's kind like a slow month, and I saw, like, creative live tweet about it like, should I? Shouldn't I shouldn't I shouldn't I I was like, okay, remember, my willpower is out of aa my girl, tonto bringing back queenie ok, ok, no more. I'm done. I'm done it's an old joke. It's an old joke. It's done, it's done. Ok, no more. No, but, um it was just it was in the summer this summer isn't osamor excited watches like clicked on it and I watched honestly, like five to ten minutes. I was like, oh my god, no! And I turned to jd we're washington that I was like just like oh my god so I will not probably you know watch or re watch any of this because I think that I'll beat myself up about it and in the next time I would come back to feed his life I would try to be somebody I'm not thank you class so what now do you know whatever I don't care I know what judgment all this information is in your head so you don't really have to be watching way have light it back up so we're going to move on to the next section o yeah here's the link I don't think I don't think that I so yeah I just think he's you guys missed it the first three times open source photo dot net access more on it's a free forum okay like I don't get anything right okay so starting a business with my spouse I get this question a lot and I'm just gonna come out and say things because I'm a firm believer that in order to grow it's easiest to see things basically how they are I'm huge black and white girl because it just forces need to state to state to take a stand make a decision black or white somebody says should you work with your spouse my first answer is no no it takes a very distinct type of dynamic toe work with that person it sounds nice and warm and fuzzy and it is if it's the right fit now, it doesn't mean that you married the wrong person because you can't start your business. It just could possibly mean that you was there just very similar in nature. And you know that you cannot create like a two headed dragon. Dragons are powerful, and they're amazingly spitfire. But two heads are going to kill that little beast. Is it? The transition works? Well, maybe it will be okay. Um, basically, like I said, he was working at a start up company and I was working part time and his we move. We found a new apartment that was close to where he worked. So he worked literally a five minute drive from where we lived, and he was very accessible to me. So on tuesdays and thursdays, we would have lunch together. Um, even sometimes I worked about thirty minutes from where we lived twenty five, thirty minutes from where we lived, and sometimes he would take a long lunch and, like, meet me for lunch because I did during this time feel very, very, very alone, the friends that I had made in high school who are still my very dearest friends. Still to this day had most of them have moved out of state, they were pursuing their professional, athletic, amazing careers elsewhere, um the people that I met in law school, we're all very busy and law school and the people that had made front like friendships with like professional areas, we're all doing their own thing and I just I felt stuck and I didn't have any photography friends, so that's definitely the role that jd kind of played was just like, stay the course like stay focused even in you're in a funk, it'll be okay, so I think that that was the rule that he had set early on, and I think that that has maintained the president when the cameras went off, the person that I turned to for straight out, honest feedback tell me how it is is one person and that is jd I will listen to what other people are saying definitely like, I want criticism, but nobody gives me criticism because it's difficult to criticize, somebody will say things like, okay, you know, topical things and I turned to him and he'll be like this this this he knows me because he knows from where we started, he knows the real person and he says, if you are going to do this adventure juncture in your life, you need to just put up out and be riel we needed, like, make sure that people connect with the real just because you don't want to go up there you know that's all like I'm all this I'm all that it's like okay, yes, but you're also a lot of different things too. So when I started studying going back to the manual going back to studying online the person I would speak to because I learned in high school that I will be it was like a tutor and I learned more by teaching other people so as I was talking to reading the manual on reading online when he'd come home for dinner or you know, would be in the bedroom at night or whatever like reading to the manual talking to him about shutter speed you know it's like, you know, nothing gets romantic as like one you know, to thousands of a second, you know? So he was kind of went on and he has a different brain so it's like when I was having a hard time with aperture with your f stop like he would read something and he would be able to just kind of all of this is what they mean and uh let's just those types of things were happening as I was building the business. This is still early two thousand six all of this was throwing ideas back off on each other um one thing too is that people often ask us like if we would ever want to make it the jasmine and j d kind of like brands like it's been the business is branded his jasmine starr and I definitely want to clarify and rectify anything that has been written out on the web about our dynamic is I have a natural dependence on others, it has its stems from my childhood very dependent on people who are around me and who I trust I trust very few people, but if you're one of the people that I do trust depend you for so many things and he saw that and we do not anticipate the business to be what it is today, what we thought was we were gonna go on an adventure, but he was saying, if you want this, you're going to do it on your own because I want you to say it didn't work because I tried not because of what you did or what you didn't do. So what has manifested is that I have built the jazz and start brand, but we have built the business I have asked him on multiple occasions we revisit this conversation every year do you want to go shoot on your own? Because profitability you asking about profit? I was like, sweetie, you can go, we can go and make twice what we're making, you know, and he reminds me again and again he got into this because he wanted to work with me you wanted to be by my side and for us to walk away from that very thing I think would actually be an impediment to you know what I'm doing or how we're rolling so things like that one thing is his role then and now is to have somebody believe in you even if you don't believe in yourself. So if you feel kind of alone, make sure to identify somebody in your life who believes in you who says, you know what? This is a really stupid idea, but we're gonna make it happen let's, just try I would rather see you fail at something you love and succeeded something you hate that was his role, then I'm building it up, building the story up to talk about the rules that he plays in the business at a later point in time we're going to the story chronologically, okay, this is a blond post also from march of two thousand seven, and I'll read it um I'm sorry february of two thousand six sorry dreams don't go on sale he asked what I want to do after a long time. I admit that I don't know he gets it from the table and starts washing the dishes is I played hockey with the last few penny on my plate should I ask my dad for the money I asked almost too quietly we've been saving a long time before we were married for a down payment on a future home but it's money we weren't ever going to touch the home we intended for purchase before marrying in hawaii, justus jd was ready to get papers in order to sign for home a few months ago I chickened out and said we should wait for what I'm still trying to figure out he, however believes that now is the time that we take a step of faith money should never be an issue where dreams are concerned, he says and have given him another reason to wake up and go to work to him my aspirations don't have a price tag I now know where I'm supposed to go and I have the means to get there so he buys me camera in um december and then in february uh he says like let's do it like that means a lot to somebody to say like listen, we don't know if it's gonna work and you at this time I'd never second shot I'm still reading on forums I don't know really which way is up at this time I'm shooting with cannon twenty and the kit lens that's what we have and so for him to say we have a little bit of money saved let's see what we can dio that was just the permission I needed so people ask if we had money we had a little bit of money, but I'm gonna talk to you about this start up and how I didn't dip into that money won because I grew up very poor and for me I had a dream and I'm not gonna I'm not gonna risk that dream and if I go back to that person in two thousand six and say risk the dream because the dream changes the dream you want when you're twenty five is not the dream that you want when you're thirty so get real with yourself take a risk if you spend that money it's okay to a degree I get a little bit into that right now yes yes please I know this is a little off course but that's a really cool shot you have right here. This'll hasn't been on the block yet coming and I was chris's I'm betting a lot of people at home are here is where this was taken miss was taken at the hotel it it's in los angeles it's totally this cool hotel with a lot of fun um architecture er and um one thing about this photo is like I do things wrong, okay, I do wrong I'm not gonna lie I do wrong, but I make it work so I could probably tell you this setting in my mind because I knew at the time oh, crap oh, crap oh, crap oh, crap is not gonna work. We had no time to shoot like none. We have done indoor shots and you can't shoot that celeste when people are out by the pool pool top but son had already dropped it was rather windy up top and then they're just okay, fine. You can get access to the roof. I was like, let's go. So we ran it there for some pictures. This was shot with my eighty five at a one point two thirty two hundred eso at forty eighth of a second. Yeah, so no, not a plot. Anybody can do that. Just hold your breath like, not lie so you can kind of get you get like the pool lights were on. There was no sun, but though the sky was still limited a bit and then something ask, oh, should I go and turn off that light in the camp in the back? And I'm like, no like add depth and dimension to the photo, so yeah, yes, I just wanted to let you know that jeremy coward is watching on. We love jeremy coward and he says that he just wanted to let you know that he couldn't watch his course either I oh my god, I totally know that feeling, jeremy like, seriously jeremy it's such a nice guy and such a giver teo like the community and it's so cool because I looked specifically to like jeremy and zach because they set like a different tone we might come from two different ideologies how they believe in starting their business is totally different than how I started in what I believe but it's totally fine of mutual respect for our approaches and watching them succeed and like get back and it's so cool uh oh okay yeah great, great great so yeah it's good sorry sorry okay, yeah no total detour total detour so what happens? I was talking to jd and I said sometimes like going into a courses like it's hard because you don't feel supported sometimes you feel supported by so many people and sometimes I felt like wow, I would really love like as stupid as it sounds like to have peer support if that makes sense and um jeremy just like made my date sounds like you know what? There are people who are out there who are just like, you know what? We're watching you it's okay like keep on doing what you do so thanks jeremy school cannot did you have a question or we know what we're going to go on okay? Yeah, way to go guys okay, so we're gonna get into um oh his and her perspective as you're working with yourself um it's really important to have conversations about what you want if you decide that this is what you want to do in two thousand and two thousand seven j d and I, uh, had not so much of a fun car ride so e like he's back that I'm not sure if it's cool to tell the story, but I will ok, so we're driving and not once but twice has my husband ran out of gas on the freeway once with me in the car, not a fun situation, we're in lane five and all of a sudden see him just rule all the way over and I'm like, what's going on what's going on what's going on and we exit and the exits on a ramp and our car just stops and I'm like, what just happened? Like I ran into gas, I was like, oh my god, okay, so this is my complaint wasn't coming, it wasn't unwarranted, we're on our way to a wedding. I asked, can we please get gas and he's like, no, we're fine, we exit will get the gas I was like, no, can we please get gas there's a gas station here before we get on the freeway? No, we'll get gas me get off whoa! I was just like steaming but again I'm all about like attitude so I know that if I'm in a bad place I'm gonna approach the wedding in a bad place I swear I seriously approach winning is like it's like game day like you know I'm just like I'm about there it's like tip off time you're not gonna get in my head so I'm sitting there and we're driving the freeway and I'm just like you like oh, I'm just like itching but I'm like no no I just talked to the window that's nice okay, okay get off he gets gas and I'm still not saying anything gets gas gets back in the cars like see it's fine oh my god I had steam coming out of my ears I was just like, you know, like, you know what? I can't have this conversation one I'm not a firm believer in talking in anger either because I'm porter again like I will just rip you a new one, okay? Like and I don't need to get an argument with my spouse on a way to a wedding, so I didn't okay the next day it was like we need have conversation what it came down to and I asked him I said, if david j asked you to get gas, would you have gotten gas he's like, yeah that is a conversation we need to have on wedding days because what happened was he was having a husband wife conversation and I was having first shooter second shooter conversation that changed a lot of things for us that day I can't tell you like having a conversation with your spouse saying these were the parameters on what we do I'm a firm believer in like order and head of household I he has an opinion and that opinion at the end of the day I'm very like motive like my emotions dictate my decisions he's very levelheaded at the end of the day I will always adhere to what he says on the wedding day however no it's you might think that I'm leaving too early that is ok you're just going to make weird and stupid decisions let maybe as a first order this is the conversation we're having so my perspective on tips and you will see how different our czar because I did mine and then I asked him for his okay, so my perspective create clearly defined rules and that is what actually happens on that day on the date on this saturday of a wedding I am a first shooter and you were the second shooter regardless if I ask you to schlep that bag regardless if you think it is the stupidest thing to pack the reflector when we never use the reflector please pack the reflector like that is just what it is set clearly defined goals so again here did I not like oh I make everything a competition so like when we're celebrating new year I wrote down my goals and he wrote down his golden all like whose goals are better you know your way either way set clearly defined goals because what happened was when I saw his goals I really felt like I saw like him on the inside that sounds so stupid but I saw where his heart was and you get so involved in doing the day to day with your spouse that you forget that that person that you fell in love with the person who made you like all like, you know twitter pated you're like I see you again and I see where your heart is when you see that out and you compare you're like okay, I want to match with yours and hopefully he wants match mine set a schedule this has been the biggest thing for our businesses because one I'm like a workaholic for me and I have blogged about this so if you want to go on look you totally can I posted a schedule of my day I end my day at six thirty I wake up between six and six thirty in the morning and I work so you know my days very much looked like ten to twelve hour days on a continuous basis, but at six thirty we're doing dinner or with the dog I walk with jd four times a day with our dog like there are certain things that we set so that we don't lose our relationship for the business if we lost that, then I lost everything. What j d we're commended be patient and I think he was talking inadvertently about me uh s o as because I had to teach him. So remember I had all those opportunities to second chute, so by the time I had my first opportunity to shoot on my own and he came along with me and I'll get into the details of that story in a bit, um I think I was a little bit hard on him. I think I was clearly and he always says to this house to be patient, a sign project leaders again it goes back to having, like, the double headed dragon it's not gonna work to people and two different opinions. He is in control of very distinct aspects of the business. I am control a very distinct aspects of the business. Whoever makes the decision on that s of the business it goes, you just shut up and you just move played to each strains there are things that he's inherently better at than I am and I'm inherently better at his there's. No, there's, no. Like when it comes down to both of us wanting to have control over it. Whoever is better at that project automatically is in control of it. And final decisions are made.