The Closing the Loop Technique
Let's go to the closing the loop technique one of the most powerful things you can use a natural working so a lot of you asked how do I add any value to these people? Okay, now I want to just take myself as example not to be arrogant, but I'm a pretty busy guy get a lot of emails let's pretend that you want to learn how to bill online products like I do ok let's just pretend um how could you network with me what would your first approach be and what would you okay let's start with that was your first approach by the way, this is a fantasy scenario so feel free to like make it up a little bit go ahead think establish rapport level a level I think it asked the question I think it's very clear from this class and what I've seen of your material that you're starting what you've said that your target market is primarily masculine has the masculine edge however you do have the research and you speak openly about and you have a successful female clients approaching this um so I think my quest...
ion of b have you considered expanding tio reach amar female market or not really understood that matter not really interested in in that market I'm making this up I am interested but uh yeah it's something I should probably do but I'm just understood so that didn't capture my attention you do have something that would capture my attention but you didn't nail it yet think about it there's something you can offer for now you already offered yesterday what else? What would you say you're you're starting off a blogger you have some level of success but you want to connect and and you want to learn about how I went from charging four dollars ninety five cents to twelve thousand dollars or whatever would you say it's your fantasy your first line your evil can say whatever you want it could be like I'm your twin brother please reply to my emails what else? Come on get creative you guys okay? Go ahead thank you. You're the only one so far people can't even get creative in their own fantasies what is wrong with you people? How boring must be in bed all right? You put a lot on like that mental action and you cover the emotional actions. I noticed that you're missing the connection of the physical with the emotional I know you're friends with tim farriss and does a lot of physical pieces. Have you considered how expanding more of the psychology section and empowering people? I know that you're asking me have I considered it's not connecting with me? Because have I considered I'm like first of all, I'd probably have considered a lot of stuff that what do you think you think is new? I've probably considered it a busy person that's what they think about all day long so I would say that that's probably not the right approach would come back to what else to all the people I just totally insulted over here. I was kidding what what? Give me a scenario where you our starting off and you want approach me who's got it if I had something so in this imaginary scenario I've done something that I think you're probably not overlooking but something that you've yet to implement okay, I have a system for instance, for filtering weirdo emails better even then that's a good start a good start um I like that and then I say you talk about this and I know that you talk about this because I've read everything you know you sort of ever written and you complain about this here here and here I have this and I you know, I'm happy to present it good really good the on ly I love that so basically what you did there was you you showed me that you knew who I was, what my pain points where you presented even proof of that it didn't come off as weird actually because if it's a true pain point for me, I actually appreciate that the only criticism I have that is that's not really a big pain point it's the similar thing about spellcheck I just don't care my spelling is pretty good so you got to connect on something that I actually care about okay that's the only thing everything else was great so here's what I might say kathy I might say hey we meet uh uh you know they're watching your stuff a lot I watched it from uh heard about you from chase jarvis live actually bought your book right after that implement it and I was able to negotiate six hundred dollars off so you're incredible all the other books I read never help me do that what if I don't write there already and you're awesome yeah flattery works flattery works but there's something even more subtle in that I'll tell you that in a minute uh you're not just buttering me up it was a real flattery then I would say I noticed that you have been talking about gender a lot you know I'm actually a massage therapist I worked with ninety five percent women and I love the way you analyse a language one thing that women say is blah blah blah when men say blah blah blah I actually have four five other phrases I'm happy to send it to you if you're curious but I think that these phrases might really help you understand different words that women use what do you think my replied that's going tio send it why what did you do in that meeting besides the flattery give your solution you added value to my life you gave me a solution you didn't ask for anything because you're not in the position to ask right ifyou're emailing someone who's super busy etcetera you want to get it so I'm going to say yes and I'm gonna be like, wow, I really like cathy like she has amazing insights and I'm gonna go back and forth of you I do this probably a few times a day with brando's and on and then some of them actually continue the relationship now here's what they do so first of all is that clear to everyone let's go to the web and see what they say before we move on let's see, does that make sense? You guys the by the way, the flattery to settle part of that was what value can you add to my life like I don't need somebody's money or something like that? What value can someone add to my life? I write about this a lot on my side talked about how people don't take advice they don't take action so what's one piece of value may not you know you don't need to buy me dinner at per se, but what is one thing you could do that cost zero dollars that would add massive value to my life send your testimonials of things that you've done specifically because not only does that make you know that that person is a do it, but if you were particularly interested in what you know kathy had done, you could email him back and say, well, tell me about that six hundred dollar negotiate totally right so two and one killed it with that answer also, um shows me that you're raising hand saying I'm I take action I'm worth listening to it also makes me feel good and I file it in my testimonial database um uh doing taking action on what someone said is a massive value add you could meet someone super way more experience or powerful and you you have nothing to offer them they're way more successful photographer than you were with let's say you meet chase jarvis right you somehow get him out for coffee what can you offer him? He has all the gear you could ever want to send him. He has all the connections you don't even have those connections. He has plenty of money. So what is it that you could offer this what you could offer you you ask him for advice during this fifteen to thirty minute coffee meeting or email conversation whatever. Then you come back a week later a couple of weeks later you tell listen, I loved what you told me about this I was I was writing it down and actually took action. I went to meet suit. She opened my eyes is so I totally changed my portfolio. Here's my new portfolio based on what you suggested, no response necessary. I just want to tell you I appreciate it. How do you think that makes chase field? You think thats value added zero dollars? But what did it do? It made you actually do something valuable instead of just sitting around saying I want to meet all these people rhianna and anderson cooper for no good reason you met someone for a reason you took their advice and did it. And then this is what people forget you told them you took their advice. This is called closing your loop. I'm gonna show you the actual script for people. They they go, they don't even do this. This is just the networking part so sort of like outreach. Ok, we'll call it networking outreach and natural networking average they don't even do this, but if they do, then they don't do the other part which is actually taking the advice. All right, and then nobody does this which is closing the loo. Tell them that you took their advice and what it meant to you here's the script hi, steve. I wanted to give you an update I did end up talking to susan and you were right acme is definitely a fit for me. I'm reaching out to a friend there to learn all I can about acne before I apply. If there's anyone else you think I should speak to please let me know thanks again, I'll let you know how goes what's going on in this script, a lot of stuff going on through I mean ryan about you're giving him an update and um you are you're you're telling them that you're telling steve that you're already reaching out to somebody else to learn even more, uh, to do even more research before you take any steps, god wanted to give you an update music to anybody's ears, including a busy person, especially because you've already built a relationship right? If the busy person has invested thirty minutes and they want to know that you actually took action. Most busy people are desperate to be mentors, but they don't want to be mentors because most people don't take their advice they won't do anything. Most people let me say it again most busy people want to mentor someone great, but they don't because they know that most people will not take action I did end up talking to susan, who in this case is the person that steve recommended so in other words, he took action um acne is definitely fit I'm reaching there before I apply what's he suddenly saying here before I applied he's actually saying he's whispering do you know anyone attacked me that you can refer okay now he's not going for the hard question yet because he's not at that point in the relationship but he's adding value in this whole email I'll let you know how it goes what is this? What does this do? It sets the stage for the next email none of this is unethical, it's told the ethical it actually makes the person like you mohr you're not asking for anything, you're simply giving an update you're closing the loop this is a value out of this kind of email a busy person loves to get I don't have to reply to it at all it shows me this person's a go getter actually doing what I say and I trust them because when I recommend that they talk to susan I'm gonna of course emails susan be like hey susan, how is this guy he's great we should definitely hire him but let's go to questions reactions on the web in a minute well, any questions or comments here go ahead another comment anything this is just so obvious and human but it makes me so but no one does it like why don't they do it's just surprising? I think there's a lot of reasons like we forget we can idolize people forget with that we're all human or that we're not worth it are you know internal clock all right, so this is the girl again I will teach you the rich dotcom such creative life this is the closing the loop technique what else do you guys know this susan online says that keeping them updated makes them feel invested in you yes top of mind invested exactly what else? Uh I think because he saw that like he took action and seeking susan he'll be more likely to recommend you said if there's anybody else I should talk to him, you know he'll definitely be more likely to recommend somebody else exactly uh danita is saying he's also saying in the email that he's not depending on the person to give you everything you're talking to others yes super that's a very insightful comment that sexy very correct and very subtle you were you were raising your hand as a top performer with this script saying like, look, I'm not dependent on you, I have a lot of other stuff going on similar to the dating the bar example I gave yesterday, like if you, uh if you walk into the bar and you're just like fixated on one person that person's going to like your creep, you're talking to a lot of people you're friends with everybody everybody's going to love that and when you are surrounded by more people who want you, your value goes way up, right? It's why, if you go into a negotiation and you're like, you know what I love teo discuss salary. I'm happy to discuss it just want to let you know I have three other offers here and you know what? Let's discuss it. Well, all of a sudden you just raise your salary five, ten, twenty a thousand dollars because they want you and they know that other people want you to ok? Yep, just coming from a different perspective because, um, I've been asked a few times, teo, I guess for lack of a better word meant, uh and most of time may turn it down. And the one time I sat down with another business owner and he was very aggressive on a lot of questions when I did answer them. And then when I went back, I never heard from them again. And when I went back, everything that we talked to that that were, like, very obvious mistakes, he didn't do anything so it's like that is a colossal waste of my time, eh, so I'm just like a fugitive doneness, I would have been so happy to converse with him again. He didn't notice notice all this you did not have to have a million dollars you did not have to go to harvard do you see that education plays no role in this whatsoever nothing you did not have to have all the things we thought we needed great equipment ten years more experience whatever you're being a real normal person, you're being january saying look, I need some advice here's how we're connected I'm gonna respect you in every way time, location everything would it be possible and by the way you could do this to multiple people so you can email multiple build relationships and you don't just depend on one person that's how it works we'll take a couple more questions and then we go to break so uh brittle beri pet photo points out that it lets the v I p no that's something they didn't work and makes them feel good about what else see so questions drew I just, you know, going tagging on that it also makes them feel like you're not taking advantage of their advice just taking what they say running away and never coming, which is what most people do honestly I'll tell you the truth most people will go to a meeting you never hear from them again and that is why busy people stopped taking these they're just like no one ever does they don't even reply to me and they will do what I say so just you know what forget it I'm gonna focus on my work because all these takers in other words the sleazy people right they are because they're just taking and they're never giving back this is closing the loop this is natural networking it's actually getting back before you ask for anything okay you just turned on the light bulb for me it's kind of like what cathy said I have been intimidated to do this so far because I was I was the brakes were on when I thought I couldn't add value there above me why would they want to talk to me? I don't have anything to offer but this is so clean and pure and respectful and it's so easy it's it's like simple but genius at the same time well they say that you know it's very difficult to make something look easy right so when we started testing this it was I mean I tested it myself for years and I didn't it was really hard to get it right now it sounds so easy because we got the language right and the approach and depending on if you know them you send this script and if you don't and if your woman you might alter it a little bit but fundamentally it's very simple and obvious so as we go to break I want to ask people what has been your biggest insight so far and be specific don't you say I can network with people be specific I completely realize that how many times I've dropped the ball I had like have it and I'm very specifically when I was moving to san diego and insanely of like person who is way high level gave me an extraordinary contact that people just don't get it and I was like oh things and I was like I never fricking calling them they would never take my call and what would I ever say to that? And I'm just like, hey, I was just purely fears very good from the other end of the spectrum a friend I helped out a friend by tapping her teo like connecting her with someone else and she dropped the ball and I was really like personally frustrated and hurt um and so knowing how that feels I think also helps you to to not do it but I struggle with it all the time good good let's go to the web let's uh very pet photo again says that I have the contacts that you'd already and I'm sitting around like how about that brittle beri pet photo says that I have the contacts I need already and I'm sitting around not doing anything about it right? One more question are one more more more how long to close the loop on this hat for make a photo how long after the first meeting should you send another email id like to do every? It depends, and we've kind of staggered out the times and tested that it's. Look, people are people. They don't always respond to the same things you feel it out, but in general, I'd like to send a closing the loop email every couple of weeks, two to three weeks, okay, and these e mails, by the way, there's a whole second part of the closing the loop technique to continue building a relationship, this kind of takes you through the first part. You could actually use this to build a much stronger relationship over a period of months and years. So there's a whole part, two of the closing loop technique. And so, anyway, the point here is in the early days, you know, every two to three weeks, value added emails, etcetera.