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Command the Fees You Deserve

Lesson 18 of 44

How to Handle Drama Queens

Ilise Benun

Command the Fees You Deserve

Ilise Benun

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Lesson Info

18. How to Handle Drama Queens


  Class Trailer
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1 Class Introduction Duration:14:12
2 The Big Ideas: Your Mindset Duration:17:20
3 Deciding Your Goals Duration:20:17
4 Do You Have What It Takes? Duration:12:40
6 Tool #1: Your Elevator Pitch Duration:21:00
10 Tool #5: Your Email Newsletter Duration:18:34
11 The 4 C's of Marketing Duration:09:06
12 What to Do Each Day Duration:25:05
15 Red Flags: Chaos & No Budget Duration:17:41
18 How to Handle Drama Queens Duration:07:00
20 How to Find Your Focus Duration:21:45
21 Target Market Brainstorm Duration:15:28
22 How to Locate a Viable Market Duration:09:37
27 Reasons You Don't Talk Money Duration:10:19
31 What Are You Worth? Duration:09:38
32 How To: The Science of Pricing Duration:13:19
33 How To: 4 Pricing Strategies Duration:26:45
34 How To: Art of Pricing Duration:09:05
36 You Got Them Hooked: Now What? Duration:26:02
37 Anatomy of a Proposal Duration:18:21
38 Best Practices for Proposals Duration:18:08
40 How to Close the Deal Duration:26:58
41 Negotiating Tips Duration:05:07
44 Putting It All Together Duration:16:03

Lesson Info

How to Handle Drama Queens

So lesson sixteen is how to handle drama queens so what is a drama queen? Do we have any drama queens in the room? No one would admit to being a drama queen someone is implying that one of the people on the couch is a drop, but I actually think a lot of us are we have our drama queen moments let's say, and maybe that's why we have such a hard time dealing with people who are drama queens, but who are they? We know them well, I mean they're people who react impulsively right there people who think everything is the end of the world they're people who are very manic and they're bouncing off for the walls and as I said earlier they're kind of like children, right? They are a little bit childish in their behaviors what justin you're identifying just with mango, a worker of mine nobody in the room? Definitely no, no really I do think that drama is is very prevalent in our culture and so it is everywhere and again it's allowed right it's it's there are no consequences for drama, so I do thin...

k that we have to be strong and be the parents often to ourselves when we get dramatic and also to our clients when they get dramatic and I think you have to feel bad for people like this because they need help and we can be in a position to help them, and one of the ways you can help them is actually by understanding them so I have four tips for handling drama queens the first one is take time to figure them out so I'm not saying that you will you will accept and try to figure out all the drama queens, but there might be some that you have empathy for that you could actually tolerate and they usually have a lot of money to spend for some reason these drama queens maybe that's how they pay for the tolerance but I would say choose carefully you can take the time to figure them out and by doing that essentially what you're doing is listening for what may actually be going on for them. So I'm thinking of one person in particular who calls me a lot and everything is the end of the world oh my god, I'm closing my business right? And so you have to know they're predictable, right? They basically say the same thing over and over, maybe they are addicted to drama and they can't stop themselves right? So again, you have to understand them, you have to help them, you have to know that this is going to pass and that's why, as I said before, you're not going to react emotionally, you're not going to drop everything you're going to when you can give them the attention? Not exactly when they wanted, but okay, I'll get right back to you, so listen for what may be going on for them. The third tip is shift to their frequency, which doesn't mean you become a drama queen, too, but you really have to balance their drama and just listen and let them sometimes just blah, blah, blah until they get it out of their system and ideally be the one who gets them because they could or you could become their best friend. You they may not become your best friend, but you could become their best friend because they with this behavior that usually put a lot of people off. But if you stay with them, if you understand them, if it's a clear to them that you understand them, they could become very, very loyal, like children, they can be very, very loyal, so I see a lot of head nodding, and I don't know if it's possible to talk about drama queens. We know without identifying them or talking about, you know, the particular situations, but I'd be curious in the chat room if people are understanding and a few handle drama queen situations, erin g is joining us from germany, says it's about listening. Listen, listen listen because sometimes they just want to talk on other people are echoed that they suggest definitely listening is it's a really good tip or anne says we'll just take you to lunch, take him to lunch, huh? Feed them they might be hungry maybe that's why they're being dramatic anyone in the room just important? Teo be empathetic on dh kind of like he said begin and see the world from their perspective and tough childhood or you know you just don't know what is what they're bringing to the table and so I think it's just important to be empathetic well, what lee has to say here because lee saying, well, I don't actually have any trouble it'll with drama kings what I feel worse are the tight lipped people who don't tell me everything I need to know and that's mohr troubling to them right? And and there are a lot of those people, but this is another situation where and we'll get to this in session three quite a bit you have to ask for what you need. You have to insist on getting what you need, otherwise you're not gonna be able to do a good enough job and you can't say yes to the project so they may be tight lipped because they don't have the information they may be tight lipped just because that's the way they are with their personality or they may just not understand that they have this information and you need it if you haven't asked for it. All right, so the lesson the, uh, exercise gives me that goes along with how to handle drama queens. Very similar. Do you have any drama queens in your life? Usually we each have one. You shouldn't have more than one, because then it could get very chaotic. But how could you handle them better? And the realtor truth are you won yourself or this is about self awareness identifying the moments in which you do become one of those drama queens are their situations where you react impulsively where you feel like, oh, my god, I need this immediately. And can you step back in those moments and say, you know what? Let me just wait, let me not do or say anything. Let me just wait. And often I think this comes up when we lose something that we thought we had or that we thought was stable and really like that could be a girl, a client that could be a big project that was almost to the point of receiving deposit and then it all falls apart. And is that a moment when you become a drama queen when you feel like the world is over? And I just can't do this anymore. And then you have to step back and say, all right, one step at a time. One thing at a time, I'm in control of my business, and I will do whatever it takes to make it work. That's, really my message for the whole course. Here, I'm in control of my business, and I will do whatever it takes to make it work.

Class Description

Earn more money for the work you love to do – let Ilise Benun show you how in the complete guide to marketing, pricing, and booking freelance work: Command the Fees You Deserve.

Ilise has built a career advising the independently employed. She has authored 7 guidebooks for creative entrepreneurs and runs the popular online freelance resource, The Marketing Mentor. In Command the Fees You Deserve, she will teach you how to land clients who value your services and stop the self-defeating cycle of taking whatever comes along. Ilise will share:

  • Inspiring ideas for finding and approaching clients
  • Step-by-step instructions on pricing and proposals
  • Tips for keeping clients happy and projects on track

You’ll learn how to identify quality prospects, deal with problem clients, and structure your marketing to avoid the feast or famine cycle of freelance work.

Command the Fees You Deserve will help you enjoy greater stability and security by finding the right niche, marketing and pricing your work, and sifting good clients from bad ones.


Rashida B.

I wasn't able to catch this during the day, but I stayed up literally all night for three nights watching the replays. AMAZING. This definitely goes up there with the best of the best and most useful Creativelive courses ever. Pricing isn't the most exciting topic in the world. However, Ilise was passionate about the subject and her enthusiasm made this not only interesting but fun. I loved how she infused it with her vast knowledge and real world examples. Her guests were just as interesting. This was all around GREAT!


Helping others help themselves. Ilise Benun is clear and well-organized. The methods she shares are easy to understand while honest and straightforward in approach, stating from the git-go that work on my part is required. Ilise draws on her own experience as well as the methods and experience of other professionals in this course. She welcomes us into a proven plan for successful growth embracing an attitude of progress rather than perfection and attraction rather than promotion. This is my kind of mentor!


Oh wow! My favorite course to date! Ilise's expertise was tremendously helpful. Thanks to Ilise, I'm not "stuck" any longer and I'm so excited to implement the wealth of knowledge I've gained from this master Marketing Mentor. This course is well worth the cost at any price!! Thank you so much Ilise!!