When You Are Not Dressing Your Age
The next piece I call Adventures in Time Travel: When You Are Not Dressing for Your Age. And this is often when you are dressing too young, and it might be that you're phobic, nervous about the associations with aging. We're taught in this society that as we age, we lose value and we lose currency, so we're often afraid to age. We're also dressing this way 'cause we're dressing too old. As we age, we don't quite know what to do with that, so we end up dressing all the way to the end of the timeline because we don't wanna look silly. And then there's also a person that's stuck. It may be an area of his or her life where it's like it was the best time of their life, or there's unfinished business. They still have things they wanna alter. And those are the reasons. So, the diagnostic checklist. When you examine your yearbooks and old pictures, are your hairstyles exactly the same? If you look through your pictures, is your makeup the same, your clothing the same? Have you kept your clothi...
ng for 10 years or more? What percentage of your closet is composed of relatively new items versus old? Have you worn a trend that has cycled through the fashion world more than once, or twice? (laughs) Can you figure out what era your clothing is from? Have your friends or family suggested you try a new look? Are you uncomfortable with trying a new look? Do you resist incorporating new trends? If you've answered yes to these questions, you're probably stuck in a time warp of some sort, and you have to really figure out why your stuck, to lose your dated look, and to move on internally. So, too old. This is when you are dressing not like your peers, you're wearing clothes in your grandmother's generation. You also may be buying clothes in department stores that are catering to older clients. People often think that you're older than you are. You have this fatalistic approach to aging, I'm gonna get old anyways, I might as well wear something that an older person wears. You reject fashion suggestions of others. You wanna make the change, but you don't know how. This is a person who's aging him or herself, and you're gonna find out why you're speeding up the aging process and how to turn back the years through your wardrobe and the internal assessment. Then, there are those that are dressing too young. You do dress differently than your peers, you dress like the younger generations. You're in the junior section of your store and it's not because of the fit, it's because you like the styles better. You follow the trends religiously. You are afraid that you're gonna look like an old lady or old man. You do not tell people your age. You lie about your age. You find birthdays depressing. You use anti-aging products to the detriment of your health. You go to extreme measures to fight your age. If you've answered yes to this, this is where you really need to learn how to grow up and dress age appropriately. Again, not because there's a fashion issue, because there's obviously something internal going on. So, what's the treatment here? Number one, I always have people examine the faulty understanding of their dress behaviors. What are the things they've been taught about aging? And we look at that and we say, is aging a positive thing or a negative thing? And this is often very culturally-loaded. I also identify what is it about aging that may be causing you fear? What are you really worried about? Is it mortality? Is it people will see you and not see you? They kind of ignore you, you're invisible. And then there are also defenses. What are you pushing against? If you're going back in time, what are you pushing against in terms of aging? If you're stuck in a rut, why won't you move forward? If you're going too forward, why are you ignoring what's going on in the here and now? Also, orienting yourself. So where are you in the here and now? Who are you? Rather than going back or getting stuck or going too much in the future. And then also updating. So making sure that you're learning what it is that you're holding onto and incorporating it in the here and now. So making it a reality in the here and now. Or what you're afraid of and managing what that might be. I'm afraid that I'm not gonna accomplish my goals. So managing that. Learning from your peers. So looking at women your age whose style you really admire and trying to learn from them, copy them, have them help you.