Communicating Without Words
Now let's do it without your hands and without sound just eyes just eyes okay without your hands without your sound so keep going just with eyes without signaling try just try just try just the eyes just the eyes so you see if you can get your message across a cz little indication is possible okay good so what did you experience when you did it that way it's crazy how did that work work what else did you discover what did you experience? What changed when you're scared look into the eyes yeah, right good they tell you what is coming next all that energy that was really fun and here just kind of dropped down but it was still there not like the very first time but you know so you don't always have to be big to a connect and be impactful and maybe even have a lot of intention because what the actor knows is that they have an intention so if amy and I are playing a scene together I have goals I have objectives there's things I want to accomplish and she may or may not want me to accomplish...
them and often the conflict arises because she doesn't so you know if we were brother and sister and our father passed away and left all his money teo amy I might feel a little left out and maybe I want some of that money so I might you know, try to get her to give me that money by being really nice about and say, look, you know, obviously dad always liked you better, but I really wasn't that bad a son, and I know I stole his car and crashed, you know, all these things, but still and she says no, well, now I get mad because I didn't achieve my objective, and I say that, you know, I think that's absolute c r a p and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah and I started out making her feel bad because who do you think you are, tetra tetra? Maybe it doesn't work on her, the stakes keep getting raised now I'm crying down on my knees, begging because my intention is to get this money trying to get this money as my objective is my goal. Now, in a dramatic art, the writer creates conflict, so you usually don't get what you want, but as a performer on the stage, when you're giving speeches or presentations, you are more often than not getting what you want, but sometimes you're not, so you need to try a different tactic, but you still have the intention. My intention is to get michael was michael michael to feel a certain way, and I don't feel it's happening or I want him to think something and it's not working. We're not trying to try a different intention. I need to try something else to make that happen. But if I know what my intention is at all times in this game, my intention is to get you to give me that spot and to give it to me quickly. Well, now I know what my intentions and I will use whatever I have to make that happen. And if I do things that get in the way of that because I think it's funny or if I, you know, want to get some attention well, actually takes away from my intention you with me say yes if you are all right, one other thing to consider is how you use your body. So what do you see in the body language in the game? What do you see people do with their are often, yeah, she adjusted her arms the's, any particular patterns? No. If you have a mic and let me know if you see any particular patterns in the games. Yeah, hands folded so often we have our hands full out here. Are you familiar with that? You've seen people do this. Thanks very protective you're protecting your family jewels. I understand the need for that, but it is a closed off if you find yourself doing this everyone's well it's not a big deal if you're a bad speaker or something you just notice it let me make it change um elizabeth this is what we in the military no you just don't use your hands and I know but you did this for most of the of all most of the games made elizabeth stood like this for a few together very was good and then she would do this and then she would put them back and then she would come back here and should be over here who is a fine now she switched to here thinking oh this is bad I should change I you something with my hands so she put them here but you know I saw that even without looking at her because you need to be able to take in the whole space when you're presenting so now she moved to here nothing wrong with it it's fine now she's like I don't know what to do so I'm going like this on now because I keep putting on the spot it's only getting worse on all of a sudden now her hands start to feel like they're this out of her body on they have a life of their own and she doesn't know what to do with them so I'm gonna do it one more time with more intention with mohr um uh a little more speed but just keep your arms by your side and then you know what? Move them when you walk naturally, I'm not like this, but I'm showing just stand there, get a nice, you know, good comfortable stance stand there open and wait and, you know, sometimes even just turning her hands out a little bit makes a change, so just try that not necessarily like this we're not you know, but just this is open. This is closed. This is open. This is close, so sometimes even just a little bit of an opening, just a little bit of a nobody makes a difference, so just keep the arms by the side of play one more time just with the eyes and enjoy let's start with julie and actually have fun. You are allowed to smile. Okay, so let me ask a question, does it feel like there's more communication going on here? What I'm seeing is a lot of listening, you know, we're back to that principle of listening, you're here, you're listening with your eyes, you're listening to see who is going to give me the signal so that I can then respond. Yeah, there's also, I want to ask, is there a difference between having fun and showing us that you're having fun there's a big difference? Yeah. It's like rather than when we come on stage so often you hear this someone will come up to speak and they'll say I am so happy to be here with you all today you don't need to say it just be happy you know because what's the alternative as I often hear michael say what's the alternative that you really really pissed to be there and which no one was in the audience it's a given that you're happy to be here yeah so we want to see that rather than have it told to us or demonstrated like I'm having so much fun you know just have fun yeah okay good so we're going to move on yes very quickly take your seats you're laughing okay stool stool and we need one of the hand held mike something somebody pass it up here whoever has it please thank you so now each one of you one at a time are gonna run up actually they don't need to see this store you're going to run a gonna stand center stage amy is going to give you the mike okay and then when you leave she's going to take it back and forth like this you're going to give you the mic and you were going to say your name where you're from and the most important thing that you want to take away from this you only have a few seconds in which to do it when I say a few seconds I mean a few seconds we're not gonna tell you who goes when and you're gonna want to do it with detention with speed with play so I have no idea who's going to go first jimmy I songwriter in san ramon california and I want to connect with more people will have more fun I'm jo il feld I live in berkeley, california and I want to be an amazing public speaker people at home be writing this in my name was omar's at home and I'm from san diego and I wantto on the craft keep it coming keep it coming my name is michael miller I'm from new york and I want to be able to move and inspire an audience of thousands of people my name is martha sams I'm from el paso, texas and I want to be able to move people through my dynamic communication dad and some applause for everybody I'm pat wyland um from santa barbara, california and I want the courage to speak publicly I'm camilla isan park I'm from denmark and I live in san francisco and I just want to feel more comfortable engaging the people small, medium large you want people to clap for you you better have for that hi I'm julia from redwood city, calif I would like to be more aware of my way of being when I'm in front of an audience thank you hi, I'm soupy zimmerman from boston, massachusetts and I just want people to have and into the awesome time when they hear me smith I'm julie fosca and I'm from phoenix, arizona and I want to teach photographers have to be more creative and teach bride had to have a better time at the wedding great pitch when you take the mic yes so the mihir generally is not goingto pick up your foursome out you have audio engineers who might have been ableto increase the levels and maybe they can work it out but generally you want to think of this like an ice cream cohen or lolly you don't actually eat it but it's close to your face and then of course we're going to talk to you a little bit about mike's later but you will learn how to adjust the mic based on what's actually coming out of the speakers but in general keep it just about two inches from your chin on the mike I'm elizabeth starke powers from sebastian paul california and I want to bring this level of risk and energy and choice making to my creative writing students hi, my name is absolute and eleven san jose, california and I want to be able to still amazing stories that people can connect with I am nathan lively I live in oakland, california and I want to become or confident in front of an audience c'mon mcfarland from riverside, california and I want to help transform lives for the better which leaves from austin, texas and I want to help nonprofits take action hi I'm timmy in from shanghai china and I want to be able to be authentic and open and loving in my speaking my name is see angel and I want inspire the youth my name is briana winnie I'm from vallejo, california and I want teo have more confidence to make an impact from the stage I'm lacey book from devil in california and I want to empower my audience and connect with each and every one of them a matthew crider from davis california and I want to inspire a large audience I'm shannon lea from silverton, oregon and I want to take my presentations from interesting and educational to engaging and empowering I'm joe selby I'm from danville california and I want to be able to motivate people to take charge of their fitness in their health I'm jill known as mister awesome in many circles also out there in cyberspace and I want to I want to get booked solid with speaking gigs hi I am leah bales from corvallis, oregon and I want to take more risks and exponentially expand my ability to be joyful and powerful on stage yeah don't be shy hello my name is linda minor and I want to be able to speak to my students with energy not just words energy thank you my name's nicole I'm from australia but living in san diego and I want the experience on stage to be fun not painful my name is david paul bales I'm from corvallis, oregon and I want to make greater and deeper connections of all kinds who's left oh come on bring it my name is eleni I live in san diego and I'd like to expand energy through speaking wait chat room now love to share some of these we have karen from glasgow, scotland and I want to rock my next speaking event in november we have ar e l from paris, france who says I want to feel more comfortable talking in front of an audience david from seattle washington says I look forward to inspiring students and clients to take big risks and feel comfortable doing it and gone from dubai says I want to make more engaging conversation it is thank you to everybody who's visiting in the chat yeah, great job guys over here okay, what did it feel like for you? Just doing what you did now just running up on stage saying your name where you're from and why you're here? What did it feel like for you've ever microphone on? Tell me okay, this guitar mike hears you it felt not as scary as it seemed from sitting back here once I got up there I felt ok and I felt comfortable uh grey wonderful nice so you want to like it felt easier and I thought I was going to because I feel like we kind of got to know each other using the exercises and just chatting with the people around me and so that just made it like so much easier already even though these cameras in here, which is kind of freaking me out a little bit but it felt like I wasn't nervous at all until I got up there and then I could feel my voice shaking a little bit not sure who wants a mike say I want to my good I was nervous till I got up and looked in amy's eyes on way went right for the eyes it was it was well done great who want to say who wants to make? When I jumped up there I was just already committed and so the word just flew out flowed out easily more easily than now. Um, I wasn't nervous being out there, but my mind was going like it was something I want to say what thing I want to say with that that was kind of bugging me good, I always find myself trying to say something different and creative and the funny thing about it I think michael went before me and he said, I want to move people I'm thinking well, that's that's what I wanted to say but I didn't change and I continued I said, I want to move because you wanted to I felt like there was a bigger purpose than just saying what I wanted to say, but to be serving the audience at large that was listening and connecting with the whole community that you're building right here right now cool thank you say it, who wants to? I think for me, it's, I am always thinking that you start out by saying we had to be fast and tell what we wanted to do short in a short sentence. So that's what's going through my head that's like getting all the information out not spending too much time isn't important. Well, I felt like we did you did create a safe space because even though I had been a mistake with, like the height of the mike, it was okay. I'm not embarrassed and everyone else in the room learned from that an audience learn from that and so is ok, so it was nice that I don't know raise your hand if you feel already like you're in a safe space that's everybody in the room good anybody at home like to share uh what but I want to do now is I want to make sure that they can start to put in what their takeaways were from this segment what they discover that was important to them and their future and we're gonna get to those when we hear them so what's the first principle of performance problem here from one person what's the first principle of performance taking mike yes and he said yes and I'll repeat it if you don't have a mic in the back we'll just do it quickly number two second principle of performance listen yes third principle of performance stay in the moment stay in the moment be in the moment good fourth principle of performance play with performers that have your back notice what I'm doing here repeating what the audience member said number five take big risks said elizabeth and our joe find friend in the back choose early and often and number seven when you get scared look into audience good now would you say that again without anything except the truth when you get scared, look into your audience eyes beautiful that's powerful you have an incredibly powerful presence if I may say there are a lot of very powerful presence is in the room when we shed the x all of the extra stuff that's when we get to see it good timing in so tristin says being able to in short explain what it is you want to achieve liz with pr says my takeaway is looking someone in the eye when you're nervous elisa says, being focused and knowing what I want my audience to know and tory says making a good connection with the audience isn't just for them. It helps the performer, too. Yes, yes, that's, a transformational point. It's, when we put our attention on the audience and make sure that they are receiving something when we make it about them and putting ourselves in service of them. We get so much less anxious, right? And we can really feel that we're serving our mission, because we're seeing how we're having an effect.