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A Prioritized Plan for Your Life

This is our prioritized plan. You guys have your paper? Okay, this is addressing these. The complexity of these work life questions because they are kind of complex, especially you get into things like, I don't know. Should I work late tonight? And I've got to get this client job done. And I promised her by tomorrow. Or should I go? Teoh talent show. Those are both really big important things. How do you decide when you have a system and a plan in place? You don't have to decide anymore. I just wanted to throw in there for those people who might just be joining us that the work, the worksheet that you're just talking about is available when you purchase the course on the course page. So in case you're just joining us Very good. Very good. OK, One other big thing about when we're talking about building these systems in this plan out is one of the parts I didn't even mention that we're all missing out on. We are missing an asleep. There is a lot of research her on sleep and how it's the ...

number one thing you can do to become more productive have more energy. Simply feel better. Be a better person to those around. You were gonna get that in the second. But when I'm talking about tips and ideas, I'm saying, Hey, go to bed 30 minutes earlier. That's it. That is not gonna rock your world. You're gonna get four hours more sleep a week ish Andi that will eventually rock your world. I'm not saying if your goal is I want to lose £50. You only have to do this for 30 minutes every day, and you've got that in the year. It's Eddie of building on these tiny little habits day in and day out, day in and day out. No longer think about that. Result in huge change. Constantly deciding means constantly using will power and using will power is so much harder because it runs out. Will power runs out. It's a finite resource, and willingness is not. Willingness is infinite. You can consistently be in a willing state to keep moving toward your goal, but when you start denying yourselves and using will power, that is when you stumble. Do you see the difference doing that willingness and will phone yes, no willingness and willpower, Just letting it soak in. So, kids, I love your soak in face, Susan, soak in faces like this. I do. I understand what she said. Yes. Okay, this is the best news of all. We're only gonna do this. Why did it die? Okay, you're not Children, right? Got it. Um, So there was an article recently in The New York Times About a week and 1/2 2 weeks ago about I think it was this. I think the article was called Have call waiting. It's me. Your vacation. That was the article. Nobody read it by chance. It was all about the fact that we have such a hard time going on vacation and disconnecting. Got it. But the analogy within that I think was really good. Which is imagine, a car speeding along the autobahn or the interstate and going 90 miles an hour and had been doing it for last few hours. And then suddenly the driver turns the wheel, you slam into a guard rail and the car comes to a complete shock Stop and you're shocked. A shocking stop. Yeah, That is what happens to your brain when you suddenly go. Indication when you suddenly say I'm going to stop checking everything and walk away, you can't. You've been going and going and going your body might be laying on a beach towel, but your mind is still on the wheel, right? The hamster wheel. As a lot of what we're gonna address. When we go into these, it is great to say, Hey, we're gonna get all this in order. You're gonna walk out of here and it's gonna be perfect. But the truth is that that wheel is still going and we're not gonna slam into anything. We're gonna slowly put on the brakes and take a while and get off the exit and then go walk over to the beach. Yeah. You see how I used a beach for that story? You're welcome. All right. We're not gonna wait. We're all sitting here, right? You guys will put a lot of effort in getting here. We're gonna jump right in. Speaking of, you came the furthest right from Texas. Is that the first you know? Yeah. OK, so you has all put a lot of effort ID? That's the summary from Texas. And we're gonna jump in right now. because the time will never be right. What are your core priorities? Big question. What are the things that matter to you in life? Here are some that may come up for you. This is the part where I want you to fall along the pdf in the download or just used a sheet of paper simply at the top. It's what are your core priorities? So these are things like, You know, maybe this is your core relationship is one of the things I mentioned. This is either your spouse, your partner, your dog. I love my dog, your mother, your best friend, your beloved dog. Whatever that core relationship is to you, it's separate, and it stands out to you. Friendships. Maybe this is everybody you know on Facebook. Or maybe these are the people that you spend time with and actually communicate with and feel heard with family. For many people, this is their Children. For a lot of other people, this is their immediate family the brother, the sister, their parents, their uncle. For others, family is the friends that they have chosen to become their family, their tightening friend of group group friends or their tribe finance, money matters, spirituality, spirituality. This category will vary for you because apparently people have different beliefs. That's what I've heard on the Internet. And so this is gonna very for you. Based on what you believe, who you believe in, how you practice what you believe. One big thing I bundle in when I talk about spirituality is conviction. I think my convictions, the things I care deeply about our very tied in my spirituality chat in that little bit later. But this could be separate standalone things for you. Maybe for you it's spirituality, or you call it religion or you call it your mission or you call it your, um convictions. Whatever it is environment for me. When I'm talking about environment, I mean the place that surrounds you. Your home. Maybe environment is one of your convictions and goes and spirituality and in health. How healthy are you? How often do you move? What do you eat? Do you eat when you move? And where does it all fit in in relationship to you right when I went again, I've been researching this for a decade. When I research things about work, life, balance, physical representations of how to see it, graphs and such. That's what I see. I see graphs cheap, see pie charts. I see, uh, lots of arrows. I see a spreadsheet. I see a scale for me that is not represent representing my life. I feel like when I look at my life and the things that matter to me in it, it's a lot of heart. It's a lot of hustle. It's a lot of conversation. Conversation is pivotal to my life. It's a big way. I find that I can reach out to people and understand who they are. And often that's not verbal either. But it's a way of connecting to other people. Since I try to brainstorm and come up with what I think is the best analogy for me in my life, and this may fit you, you might find another one. But for me, what I found is the best way to represent what I think of his work. Life balance is a dinner party, complete with this lovely table. So in a dinner party, this is the conversation of your life. And if you ever go to a dinner party, have you ever gone to one where you're meeting with people, and no matter where you sit, you can't get a good seat that you can't see everybody at the table often their long tables. And even if you sit in the middle of your far away from everybody, right the round tables a little bit better. But considering how many considerations there are in your life, that's also difficult because you're pretty far away from people. So I built my dinner party where I'm in the middle and there's like a hole in the middle, the table, and I'm on a rotating seat. That's my ideal situation. This is the conversation of my life. So this is my dinner party table, and when I go around the table, I have people sitting at the table. There's eight of them in this. In my situation, I want you to build yours. You can also use kick ass clip art like I did. I want you to go around the table and see what's important to you. What matters? Who's there? Who are your guests? Who would you invite? What matters to you? Those are those core priorities we've talked about again. I have eight of them. You could have 10. You could have four. Technically, when you look at this, this is about four. I'm just making specific breakouts, so people I love is friendship, family and court relationships. Those would all fit under people I love. Health is stand alone. It's prominent. It should not be de prioritized. It is how we stay alive. Spirituality and work are things that I strive for. These are things that I work towards. I work on. I work towards right, so I've got health people. I love things I strive for and my home. Even though there's eight things here, they neatly fit under half that amount of care categories. But I treat them separately because I have to treat my core relationship different than my family. I didn't used to and I took a hit. I do now the same thing with friendship. Friendship barely was on the table for a while, like network, and people are brought, reached out to and kept in touch here and there. I've had toe actively make friendship be a significant part of this dinner conversation in the last few years, and it has been an effort and I've had some wonderful rewards, but you can't make assumptions that are always just be here. And that's the point of this, depending on who you're talking to it this awesome roundtable where you're in the middle and you're on a rotating chair. It doesn't matter if you have a very lengthy surface, talk with one of them and a very short, brief but extremely meaningful talk with the other. The amount of time you spend with every of the table is not an indication of how important they are to you, right? Does everybody agree with that? And you can't exclude anybody at this dinner party completely. You want them to collaborate, You want them to talk to each other. You want them to be in harmony because they're all pieces of you. They're all parts of you again. I want to say that last part again because I think it's so significant. Amount of time you spend with someone or on something is no indication of the priority it is to you that really is a big deal. I'm just looking at this table and I'm I'm thinking about all of those different areas, and I'm wondering how important. Each of them is truly to me. And I know recently I had sort of, Ah, I was going through a difficult time and my friends heard about it and they were over within, like, five minutes and they showed up and they took me out for lunch and it was amazing. But I thought, like how much how much my putting into you guys and you guys just show up like I'm going through something hard and you guys were just here and like my life is just yet. It's going and going and going in. Am I putting that into them as as much as they are, like obviously putting into me. They dropped their kids. They dropped everything just to come over and bring me out for lunch. I was like, I'm so blessed. Yeah, you know, it was wonderful that you saw it because you know what? Nowadays, the way we prioritize things like friendship, that's not as common. Have you guys noticed that, too? That's been a big kind of trending shift, and I've actually read a few articles on this. The degradation of friendship in a current society. It's really fascinating and terribly sad and something that we have to pay attention. Dio, Here's the big thing I find about this when I'm looking at where everybody's going and stuff, I'm looking at you or the self in the middle, right? You see him, you is surrounded by things that you do for yourself. I talked earlier about this. How we have these negative ugly words associated with self like selfish or self focused, or she's all about her or whatever the case might be. But one what one of things I think is if you're looking at everything on this table, everything that's important to you the size of that self, the buffer you have has a big impact on how closely you can reach everybody. Right? Imagine this is a pinpoint in the middle. How threadbare you are, How much how much less you have to give. And I think seeing it graphically represented like that is significant because that little that purple could be all the way halfway through. And you're in with people. You're there. What is it? You have a problem? Let me run right over. Let me take care of you versus a little prick. Were you kind of that vaguely hear somebody say I'm in trouble and you're like, I'm sorry, honey. I got nothing. And that, unfortunately, is more where we find ourselves when we're in the situation where we're overwhelmed and we're giving very little to ourselves. And I think the other thing that's very interesting is if you're sitting in the middle of that circle and your threadbare and super thin and you don't have a lot to give your looking out at everybody else and you're examining them in different ways, your relationships become examinations. You see people differently because you have so much less to offer. You need it to be fulfilled. You need to be fulfilled and you're expecting them to fulfill you. So you look at somebody and you say, You know what? He just can't give you what I need. Of course, you can't give you what you need. Who's the other person? Give you what you need. You're the only person you can give you what you need, and yet we we end relationships. From that perspective, we turn away, we give less attention and we say, Well, the bottom line is they're not really perfect for me, you know? Well, nobody is gonna fulfill you like you need to fulfill you. No one's gonna care about you the way you need to care about yourself. And I was gonna love you the way you need to love yourself. All right. Any other questions about my table? I don't want to go away. I love it so much. Andi. That last point, By the way, when we talked about friendship, I do want to bring this up when you're stretched and your super thin and your threadbare, which is just the perfect adjective for how it feels like you're just running amok. You are looking at people who are also super thin and Fred there and running amok. And it kills the functionality of your relationships, your ability to connect with each other. But you can't see how threadbare they are because of where you are, you know, I mean, I just love the idea of looking at it in seeing why it's so significant that you put yourself first on that priority list. And here's another thing. I think when you're ready out of prayer lists and you start with me, what do you feel when you do that? Yeah. Oh, my God. I'm so selfish. I'm a horrible first. Me. Oh, God, I did not just write that. This is awkward. I hope nobody sees it. You feel terrible. And if somebody were look at your list, What do you think they're thinking? Uh huh. Yeah, me? Yes, exactly. Timber, we have about five minutes till break. Do you want to take a couple questions? Yes, I would love to take some questions. All right, let's do a couple questions. Um, question audience. You have questions? Yes. So I think on, at least for your table, it probably falls under the health section. But where would you put the opportunity to decompress and just kind of fun in that? Yeah, that's the self. That's exactly the South. So when I talk about giving to yourself, that's actually separate than health. So things like getting exercise and, you know, sleep and eating. Will those air significant and those are important. But when I talk about self, I'm gonna get into that Except the way we kick off I prior to us. You know what you long for? What do you crave to do? What makes you feel like you are alive. That is self. That is exactly what the next. That's a great question because it's different than how do you maintain yourself to stay sane, those those air parts of you and you need to do that. But that is not the all of you. Yes, being a photographer, I feel this while an artist, I would call myself an artist. I feel this need to always create, to want to create. And so I feel like I need Teoh. ITT's like this desire that I have to fill, but it kind of blends into work because work is also my work is photography, and that is also creating. But I need times just for me, you know, to just create and be spontaneous and create art. Yes, it was actually a fantastic research out there about when you're not slowing down, you becoming incredibly less creative. That's why they say the number one place people get ideas in the shower. Yes, I actually just started getting followed by somebody who makes a deal boards for the shower. I just saw that the other day. I'm like, Wow, that's smart. You put it right in your thing. But of course, I think that kind of kills the point. Like you have to get away from it in the shower. Sorry if I just Anyway, the the idea, though, is that when you're not ever unplugging from everything, you really do kill that ability to be very creative. And you're right. You do need to step away from all of it just to get that great. All right. Questions from the Internet, Victoria Gretch ass. When you forget what it feels like taking time for me, Um, how do I make a start? I can't remember. What I like to do is I'm always working. Oh, where do you begin? Yes. Okay. We're gonna That's literally how we kick off. The next section we start talking about lets you what do you long for, what you create to do? How can we get very specific about that? And then how do we build that into your plan? And we start your plan from there? Yes. All right. Well, let's take another one, and then we'll get questions afterwards. Question from our Gunter photography. Does Temer have a suggestion for turning off the very active brain each night so she could go to sleep within 30 minutes or less. 30 minutes is like a time thing in there. OK, yeah, actually, that that is the power of ritual. There's a lot of, Ah, significant work in the idea of studying rituals and how that's a big part of our culture and a lot of what you know, it gets Throw it away. The ritual used to be You wind down, you slow down, you disconnect, etcetera. There's crazy links of the gamma rays. I don't think that's the word coming up here. Is it coming off of your laptop on and this artificial light that we have on us all the time and incidents of like increasing cancer? There really is because the fact that used to be like, naturally, the light would demand all the light would stop, and you would slowly make your way to bed Now, four in the morning, you know? And then the light, the light, the lights. I was hitting us and I'd love it if someone wants to look that up, remember, I actually twitter it once a research study on the light that hits us from our computer and all our devices 24 7 having an increase in breast cancer. But it's the idea of building and rituals that say every night, not not like every night, without exception, never never changing. But most nights I'm gonna take out the questions in my head of what I do next, and I'm gonna have a ritual in place, which means for me I'm like a T fanatic. I have aton of tea. I probably have two or three cups a night and then I get up two or three times a day. But I have a T and I have my snugly blanket. I've got my pillow. It's kind of a joke, like we go on road trips and stuff every my snow like it on my pillow. Onda. And the point is, for me, optimal comfort. Like I want to slip into comfort. I want everything to feel comfortable and good on Ben slow and then eso the physical starts and the mind follows. That is the very long answer, the physical, the mind Fallis. It slows down when this calms down. This comes down very important, right? It's smart to start sounding. You're smart. Okay? Before we go to break. Um, one quick. One more question. Are the guests at your dinner party always the same? Or do they change somewhat with time? And how often do you reassess? Excellent. Excellent question. Very, very good. No, they're not always the same. There are some that are always going to be there. And here is where the importance of the waiter comes in. The waiter is the perfect represented. It really is the perfect representative of those things, or people that come into your life and aren't meant to stay. You know, they come in, and for the time they're there, they give you nourishment. Have to stay too much the analogy. But they do. They give you nourishment. They're very meaningful to you for a short amount of time. And then they come out of your life. They don't sit at the dinner party. They don't stay forever. But for the time they were there, they were very important to you. I think of best friends in college or ex boyfriends or, you know, it's move that I'm trying to think like plays that you saw that changed your whole world or, you know, going to create alive and shifting the whole course of your of your life and things that are gonna be at your dinner party. But you know, they come through, and so you do reassess. You have to reassess because your life keeps changing. At my dinner party before there was a dog. I love my dog, but she's now lumped in with family, but she used to have her own dog head at my dinner table.