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Symptoms of Loss of Balance

Let's talk about identifiable symptoms of loss of balance. First of all, it often doesn't come as a trumpet call like you don't hear it. Three PM One day I am out about like it's just it's comes on. It comes on, we expand, we expand, we take it all in, and then we suddenly turn around and say, Why do I feel like I'm having a stroke? Um, here's one. Treating symptoms versus treating the problem that's shot with an IPhone in reverse. And that's a genuine expression. When I was completely wiped out and with a massive headache, which is a whole different story, that's an after our story. Treating the second versus treating the problem in the medical community. You don't just treat symptoms, you say, Hey, we're gonna be treating symptoms forever unless we find out what the problem is. Let's find the problem and treat that if you come in with recurring headaches and I give you ibuprofen, I'm going to see you again tomorrow. But if I find out, you know, what is that? What the underlying cause...

? I could do that one of two ways the first way, which is not the way we're gonna do it today is to do things like Let's get you an M R and a cat scan and blood tests, and let's put a lot of heavy work on you to figure this out. The other problem is going to be the more holistic approach on Yes and vegan. I'm very holistic and crunchy, but I also believe in this respect. Sometimes we put so much analyzing behind. Why are my out of balance will not because you're doing too much. Let's get very clear on that and say the holistic approach might be You're simply not eating foods that give you magnesium. And if you are a magnesium deficiency, you have headaches. Here, eat this spinach or oatmeal and then tomorrow you will not have headaches and we're done. I want to get to a very simple, clean way to solve the problems. So here's one. If you're somebody walks around all day long, saying to everybody you know Oh my God, I'm so crazy Busy. You have no idea. First of all, you can stop saying that because everybody has an idea. Do you guys do this or know somebody does this? Yeah, and it isn't annoying when you're, like, so overwhelmed and somebody calls and says, Oh, you have no idea what I'm doing. I'm so busy you wouldn't even understand. Like like on Facebook page. That's right. See half of the posts like I'm just so busy, isn't it? Does anybody know not to post that anymore? Stop posting that we got it stands. The problem is we're confusing, of course. Motion with progress and activity with achievement. Um, you were doing these things you're raising Children you're watching, shows you reading books. You're commenting on blog's You're responding to Twitter and Facebook. Your writing emails. You're writing newsletters. You're cleaning your clothes, your phone in your clothes, organizing your rooms, you're washing your dishes. I mean, on and on and on on. This is what you're doing all the time. This isn't just like that one day, that one crazy day. So my concern, of course, when I'm looking at this, is that you're feeling like that. You're feeling like if I'm doing all of this and I'm so busy, what parts of those air not value added, And how can I get clear about that and also not cut out the stuff I kind of need to be able to stake You. Don't just say to somebody Stop watching TV Waste of your time, you say, Well, let's look at exactly what you're watching and how can we pare it down to something that you still can get comfort and enjoyment out of? But is it in mindless and, you know, mind rotting things like obsessive social media, email addiction? Most people I know are addicted to email. You do not need to check your email 55 times, and most people I know are constantly looking for their treat. It's that, like, Where's my treat? Where's my treat? Where's my treat? The problem is the quality of your focus. It's the ability to stay focused and stay on track. It's the efficiency of your daily activities. It's the grade of your energy, and that that means, you know, energy is not energy. You could say Okay, yes, I'm up for this, but just a jangle of nerves, or you can have I'm up for this. I'm a little nervous that I'm feeling intensely productive, and that's a very different form of energy. And how do you tune into that? A little bit better and support that a little bit better. Part of that has to do with just a lack of practice. Were out of practice of kind of being able to have the time most of time and you can tune in and get a sense of your energy. You actually can't be in front of 5000 things happening to you at one time. You need to be in a quiet, mindful space and what we dio is if we have a break, we're waiting on a check out line or at the bank or sitting in traffic. Do we go to a quite mindful space? We check our phones right like that's what we do. We don't even allow ourselves. No one's doing that to us. We don't even allow ourselves the space that we usedto have to be able to get a better handle on how out of whack we are. Does anybody not agree with that? Am I speaking too quickly? Am I speaking too quickly? Good, good, good and the sharpness of your attention? This has to do basically more with realizing that there are things coming at you 24 7 No matter what, And that one's not your fault, Your victim of that. So the victim is this one. I hear this so often it it honestly makes me cry. The amount of people who feel this to their core, who has felt this, You know, you're good, You're good. Okay. It's the idea of feeling this being surrounded by this constant state of failure is in no way energy building, creative building. I mean, it's the it's the worst. It's toxic. It degrades you. It cuts into you. It's a horrible, horrible feeling and relax into it without even studying. Whether it's riel, one of the big things I want to get into and we start talking about priorities is if you get a really strong sense of your priorities are and you're living according to your priorities, you have a lot of allowance to dump this. To dump this feeling, you just have to figure out exactly what you're feeling it and it is even accurate to the situation. I'm gonna tell you example in a little while, about times where I have felt guilty and bad, when in fact I was acting in line with my priorities, and I should been high fiving me like What a waste. So the idea mostly a lot of people feel like what I'm working. I should be with my family or should be with my friends. Or I should be doing something to make more friends or to find myself a family or whatever. And then when I'm with my family, I'm letting down my clients. You know, I'm out with friends. I should have been finishing this thing. It always feels like there's something hanging on you, hopefully not physically that's so messed up. So here are some ways we resolve the problem of that symptom I just mentioned one of the things is one of the reasons you probably are feeling this way is you don't have a system at home or at work, or like you have it work. If you do have one at work, I am, I am. If he's that's all you know, we seek ever before. I love Mason Systems. I love the idea of having a really good idea of where I am in the process because it takes a lot off my mind. It simplifies things for me or you have some sort of system and you're not following it. Offense and people have some sort of fist system. It's not a story, the most clear, efficient way to do things, but they don't follow it because they think it's not just they get lazy. One thing tackles onto another thing tackle and another thing. And if you guys at home are getting your pdf's downloaded, you can either edit them live. If you're in numbers, I think you can open those in excel as well. They won't look is pretty. If you're opening this workshop in Excel, you are losing all the prettiness. But if you're opening in numbers, you can edit it right there. Or you could just simply print out a pdf and right in the blanks. Make sure if you get a chance to size your pdf accordingly, so your lines aren't so little. I don't know how that one turned out, um, so one of the other big things I was talking about the systems one of the biggest, biggest reasons, and you're gonna hear me say this a lot today. One of my goals for you is to get in the mindset of thinking, How can I get myself liking, making less decisions every day. How can I get myself making less decisions every day? Having a system means you don't have to make constant decisions. Constant decisions that most of us make every single day involved. Things like, what do we eat for dinner tonight? Um, I writing Check a check for this or just paying online. What do the kids wearing to school? Do the kids have what they need for their soccer game? Football game? Lacrosse game, etcetera. What do we need to get the grocery store? I'm gonna run out real quick What we need to get. Where should I put the mail that I just brought into the house? Are we Are we still working with this insurance insurance carrier? Has somebody paid this bill yet? Is this is a business in my home as this bill been paid yet it gets a Amen chorus is over here. Yeah, that is a lot of nodding. You're doing like, yes. So the other problem, of course not. Following a system. The number one reason if you have a system, if you get all worked up and you're excited and you start creating something that makes a lot of sense and then stop following it. The number one reason is you've simply lost motivation, and usually you lose motivation because there's been a couple stumbles because you forgot to do something a couple times or you tried it didn't work out right away, and then you just got overwhelmed. The rest of things you had to dio and you moved on, and then you just stopped using the system. That's that's often what it is. It's not some gigantic, complex reason. It is the same reason we go off the diet. It's the same reason we stopped working out. You make a couple stumbles, you think you screwed it up and then you just walk away. Yeah, yes, yes. Amen. Whoa! Feel pretty yelled that out. I will take that other responses air like you are doing great and also hallelujah. Thea other thing is not setting expectations, setting expectations. This is for other people. Often we don't get the support we need to make the changes we need to make simply because we don't think to ask or we don't know how to ask. We don't know how to say it in a way. That doesn't sound like me, Me, me, me, setting expectations people around you that you need to make some changes and you'd love their support can go a long way. Also setting the expectation. Not like hey, kids, would you mind doing it this way? But kids, we're doing it this way. Onda. Lastly, is gonna be the idea of not being honest with yourself. This sounds pretty bare bones, but it's it's simply the concept of feeling like, you know, I can handle it. I can handle it assumes this next wave hits all service. When we get to the idea of we're talking about the art and lines of relationships, I can tell you. In my experience, we had that mentality down strongly. We back Bernard our relationships until the next wave hit. The next wave hit the next we hit and we just we just surface and then figure it out then. Except those waves are ongoing. And then suddenly it's been a few years, and then you do surface and you don't know where the other person is. And this happens a lot in our own life, right? Not being honest to yourself is I'll catch up after X y z But the problem with X y Z is assumes You get to see your starting on X again or your x x X, which is a whole different show. All right, symptom, Your diet isn't healthy. You're exercising less or not at all. You are noticing health issues of some sort. I am stunned by the amount of people who d prioritize their health. I'm not talking about like I like how I look or this or that. I'm simply talking about health, the idea of being in a healthy state if you know somebody who is not. You realize what a big, big, big deal that is or of you've experienced something that set you back and make you feel physically just raw, like little things, like your back goes out. Wow. Everything I used to do involve my back. I can't do anything. You're suddenly flattened by that experience, literally and figuratively. Um, you're exercising less and that is basically de prioritized the need to move or not at all. And you're noticing health issues of some kind which can relate. You know, they range from bothersome to severe. The problem of course is that food is still still a series of constant decisions. One of the number one reasons food diet programs work is because they ship you the food and you eat it. You're not thinking you're not evaluating. You're not wondering. Oh, this is breakfast. Go. This is lunch. Go. And I know some people you know would have an issue with that because they love food or their food here, they want to get really into it. But until you've got that under control outsources, let somebody help you. I'm not saying everybody go sign up for a meal system or anything I'm saying, get yourself in a place where you have a few ideas of great meals for you and we're gonna talk about that later and then just put them on rotate for a while. There is nothing wrong with that. They're going on a few things that make sense until you can branch out. Um, exercise isn't a joy. Enjoyed Anybody here who here enjoys exercise? Who does not. All right, we're gonna split room. We've got a split room. I think that's the biggest problem. If it's another to do on your list and you've got so much to dio you don't do it. You don't want to do it. You have you no motivation or excitement or desire to do it. And that's one of the big things we're going to talk about today. Um, the significance of what it means to be in your belt. Best health. Some people got their whole lives and never know what it means to feel really good. And you see that a lot. People who suddenly have these big life changes at a certain age where they know what they start working out. They start eating well, They start doing this. They become zealots. Born again. I probably am a little bit with veganism, but it's been a while. I've been not any meat for 20 plus years. I've been a zealot, but board of in for a very long time. But to me, I'm stunned at how much energy I have and how often I hear that back from people. When they do that, when they make salt, small shifts in their everyday living and then the sandbar. This is my personal theory, the sandbar. My theory about moves to things that you have to get going. Especially when you talk about exercise. If I go out on a run like if I go today, I'm gonna go out for a five K that first half mile. I'm running. How do you think I'm feeling? What would you guess? Great. Wrong. You think so, right? No, I start running like I am not up for this. Say, I am not feeling this. Things are going. I think my legs were moving right. This Is there something wrong with my shoes? There must be something wrong for issues about 1/4 or half mile into my run. And this is really consistent for me. I I start feeling better, like my legs feel stronger and everything feels the shoes start working and all that sort of stuff. And then about maybe 3/4 or amount of my run, I feel great. Like, I feel great. By the way, one of the number one motivations I have for running is I get to run away from everything I do. I get my shoes on. I said, You know what? I'm running away from this crap and then run until I'm ready to turn back and I want to come home to it, but going out, it's about it's about for me about 3/4 in, and sometimes it's two miles. If I'm having a really rough day on Ben, I get past what I call the sandbar. I liken it when you're going into the ocean and you get resistance and resistance. You know that feeling with the waves hit you and it feels harder and then soon to get past the sambar. It's like a smooth waters. You guys know that sensation? Anybody here never been in a notion. Good. I wanted ocean people. So now you're in the ocean, your past, the sandbars, your past, the waves and it feels like the resistance has finally gone away. You have to work through it and it's always in the beginning. And it's not just exercise, but it's initially and so most people only know the ocean as that's going up to the sandbar. Turning around that things looks like, you know, a huge monster pit of things I don't want to go into. You don't even know that 99% of it is amazing. That's my theory, And sambar isn't a good one. I've never told it before having. I think I told that to anybody about my kids. I tell them that all the time. Sandbar sambar, Um symptom, Who has actually burned the clothes who almost burn their clothes once? Yes, I was tempting. It really is. So this is very, very big one. I am shocked at how much this comes up for everybody. This is a really, really, really big one. You wouldn't think this would be one of your core problems in life. But the truth is you have closed, and then you often wear them again. And somewhere between the first time in the next time this comes into play and it's sex, I don't I don't know anybody who just really feels fulfilled doing this. Anybody? No. Who are you? How do you feel? Fulfilled doing laundry? Truthfully, I guess it's I could learn from this. It's part of the system that we set up. Sarah needed a system because for seven years I was doing photography on my own. She was working her job, and it was and we came home. And just as I take the shots in our business and she calls the shots in our business at home. There's just certain things that show that she's going out with kids more at night. So the least I could do is just doing the dishes and getting the laundry done gives me more energy. No, that's clean House and her more energy. Get the kids at night and just truthfully, getting it done. Getting it dried, folded, put away and just organized means I can spend time with the kids and other things, and they're not pulling stuff out. And she's not pulling her hair out and it just feels great getting it done. And it's such a simple thing of Put it in here, Turn it on, walk away, come back, move from one to the other, turn it on, put it away the luxury of having in suite laundry after like But, I mean, we live in a city. So for the first 12 years we're married. We had to go debasement to do our laundry. So the fact that the laundries in our bathroom now is on my God, it's phenomenal little your perspective. Oh, yeah, yeah, that's a second of appreciation. And then I said, accomplishment. Instead of burning clothes, I delegated. But so for you, it's very accomplished, driven, like you feel like I got it done. It wasn't that hard. But the actual doing to you is like whatever I'm throwing in here and forget there. It's not that video because you're seeing the ax is not that complicated. Yeah, it is not that complicated. Plus, actually, even both the kids love to come help move from one to the other. We turn into a bit of a game, and they get it's something we do together instead of sitting and playing video games watching TV. It's an activity in the house, a feeling of accomplishment. And I get tired of wearing clothes that feel like they're falling off because they're so loose that I've worn them for three days. So the feeling of clean clothes is also a feeling of awesome. It's it feels good to put on a clean shirt. Yeah, no, and I ask this because I want to take it in and think about it next time I'm doing laundry. It's funny that you just reminded me of something when when our daughter came home, which was 3.5, and my daughter is part my youngest. She's part Muppet. You'll see that when you see her, she's like she's just very, very animated. And the very first time it wasn't the first time is probably first time I handed it to her. Wasn't the first time we've done laundry, but was the first time I called her in to give her her stack of clothes. She walked in. I go here, Lisa, but he's back in New George collected. Look at me. And even though we've been putting the laundry back door, she was old enough to do it herself. At this point, maybe maybe around four she looked and she took this for me. Yeah, it's real. Undergo. Put it away. And she was all for me. Thank you. Thank you, thank you. Thank you. It was It was actually genuine and exuberant, and I and I was kind of like, you're welcome, because to her it was like, I just got this new again. You know, she hasn't stayed with that mentality. Well, but again, like talking to you and having that experience with her. These things feed me, and I try to hold on to it next time, saying I should be taking this gift back. Like I just got four new show short, you know, shirts and two pairs of jeans. And it's that that shift. Okay, so the problem for me, I find that most likely of the adults are doing all the work. You know, in a again. I always say, if you don't have kids, think about roommates people around you. But, you know, the adults are doing all the work, and they're not questioning that they do all the work. The other thing is the idea of rules and regulations. And I'm have a whole section on laundry coming about ways that I got out of doing. Um, symptom, your more irritable, cranky, tired, easily annoyed than you remember yourself being before. Who here? Yes, yes, yes. Everybody 100% more irritable, being under stress. Yeah, from yeah, less energy. How about you girls? What do you think? I'm just curious. Do you feel like you get a little bit more irritable and frustrated? Absolutely. When you're overwhelmed. Because you you too are very cheerful people. That's why I asked. Yeah, we get irritable too. Yeah. And annoyed. We're also human. Thisted me was not to say that I've always been just on Cloud nine and airy space, See what? Everything But the first time I started noticing that these things like that I really kind of felt is, um, irritation at that. It was a little jarring to me because I usually feel like my my mentality is to just kind of take things in stride all the time. And that's when I started noticing it was a tipping point. You know, like you have to further again just go outside. This is, I think, a big symptom that people miss because they assume like it's normal. It's OK. It's not normal to feel irritated all the time. It's not normal to feel cranky when you're spending time with the people you love. It's not normal to constantly find behaviors that you think aren't what you would dio annoying all the time, like it were becoming more used to this complaint mentality. And this, like she just gets on my last nerves kind of mentality, and that's actually not acceptable in the respect to how you're going to feel the best about yourself and how much you can give to other people. We just have gotten so used to it. We think it gets okay or something. I know that the problem here, of course, first and foremost without a shadow of doubt is you aren't taking care of your own news first. Very, very much. So. It's one thing to say that it Z you know, I've heard before. Put the oxygen mask on yourself. First, you need take care of yourself self first, I have a diagram a little bit later that I think further shows why It's not just works like why it really needs Teoh matter. And it's not like we're here in this classroom going to change an entire cultures mindset about the idea of self importance of self. But hopefully we can a least change this room's on baby, the Internet. But I do think that we have the worst words when we describe somebody taking care of themselves, the words we use selfish, self focused, their negative, and they're ugly when in fact it's the best thing we can do for everyone around us. The other thing, of course, is diet, exercise. Sleep spiritually mindful breaks is all part of feeding yourself andan. These self defeating emotions that I talk about. Guilt, shame, blame. Well, all that ugliness don't allow your wounds to transform you into someone you are not. It's not like you become an annoying person. A person is annoyed a lot, or knowing it's not like you become somebody who is kind of just frayed or, you know, everyone's on your nerves or something. I think too many people grind themselves down with taking on and taking on and taking on. And they avoid the idea of becoming selfish because that's the wrong thing to Dio. And instead they become snarky. Has anybody ever read a snarky Internet comment? You're less able to see everything around you and the genuine beauty of everything around you. When you are overwhelmed, you can't see it. It's like fogging up your head symptoms. It seems like nobody else gets it. It's easier for everybody else or they have more support or more upfront money, or they're living in an easier market. There's more people in that market. They don't know how hard it is for me. This is I hear this all the time. Either way, it's just not fair. Anybody ever felt that way? Yes, Yes. No, I mean, we're all if I didn't say it's before, we're all going honest. I'm gonna be ridiculously honest with you because it's just us here, right? I'm gonna be ridiculously honestly, because I don't know what else the point of this is This is work life. This is this'll classes, life, and to get on here and gloss over how hard it is, it's a waste of everybody's time. It's a waste of my time. I mean, the truth for me is there are times that it feels like I look at somebody else and say, How are they holding all that together and smiling? I don't even get that. Like I I'm gonna smile anonymous. Shut the door. I'm going to class, you know, like, why? Why does it look like they can handle it all perfectly? And then I heard that I study I was talking Teoh su su Price Onda. We were talking about this class and she said, Well, I think sometimes it looks like it's perfect for you, like you could do it all perfectly. I'm like, that was just stunning to me. Like you're kidding. I'm literally got a box of tissues right here. What do you mean? But the problem is we have this kind of separate mentality. That's it. It's the idea that I am separate from them were not connected. They have their stuff and I have mine. And and then we get into blaming, complaining, and I'm not judging what you're doing. Although I'm obviously a little bit what I'm saying is that all that does it eats into your ability to have more energy and to make change. All right, so this feeling we have, that you're not really living. Everyone talks about life. I'm not living. I'm existing, you know, I'm hanging on for the ride. And this this life, this adult life has become very little play and all work. Does anybody ever get that? Yeah. Yeah, and that's That's a That's a tough emotion, especially when you've kind of settled into it. So what I think is two things. One if you are feeling like your life is all work and very little play, and somebody told you along the lines that when you grew up, that's what it is and you believe them. They did you a great disservice, and you need to just kick that thought out of your head because that is not true. That is not true. This is not supposed to be all work. The other thing is this life, family and relationship administrator role that we morph into. We don't think about when you first met the love of your life or somebody. You're really excited. That or your best friend. And you knew they'd be in there in your life forever. And you have this rush of emotion And what what? The emotions that you have at that point. Or you're holding your baby for the very first time. However, they came into your life and you're looking down and it's all emotion. What are those emotions? Just what are some of the emotions? So excitement? Wonder love Just don't being dumbstruck and overwhelmed, right? Gravity Overwhelming gratitude. Yes. Intent, intent. What content content? Nothing could be better at this moment. This is just exactly perfect, right? So a massive appreciation for the moment and a feeling of pure contentment. Yes. So you're having everything you said was super positive and it was all emotion and then parallel that to the feeling of Okay, I gotta get Jimmy to soccer and, honey, can you pick him up? I'll drop him off and let's make sure you get the bills this month. I'll get next month. We morph into these administrators, and all we do is become role of here were completely out of every reason we got into this, and we all do it. We morph. It's the same thing with your business. You start because you want to be a photographer because you love creating art. You love connecting, you love. You know the expressiveness announcer stuff, and then all you're doing is invoices and updating your website. And oh, God, I gotta get a block post out all that sort of stuff. We do this in every facet of our life, but the problem is, it's not even aware of it. It's an unintentional morphing. It's trans mortifying to use a cabinet Hobbs term, and it's unchosen is unconscious. Move away from love and passion, and it's not that we can't go back, because I have. In many respects I have significantly in my marriage, like significantly, but you have to start with seeing the problem right? So just just be aware, don't unconsciously transform yourself into someone who is no longer actively here participating. All right, so these symptoms were talking about time and time and time again. Would you call those a form of suffering? Is that too big of a word? Does that sound dramatic? What do you think? I think suffering is right, because again, it goes back to what you said earlier. Your existing. You're not really living. You know, there's more out there. You know, you wanna feel more satisfied with your life. And right now you're just trying to get through the busy work and get it done until you can get to that place that you haven't reached. Right? And do you feel like you're near that place? Sometimes, Yeah. I mean, definitely. There's days where I feel like I'm on the ball. I was efficient and my kids are being good and everything's going well. And then other days were just buried in the mountain of to do's that. I just can't get over. So yeah, and I feel like you said, I feel like I'm failing my kids or my husband or my business so differently. Yeah, I think I think it's interesting because I mentioned this word once suffering, and I was talking to a friend of kind of garage because what's not suffering? I was like, Well, what do you think of suffering? And she goes, Well, suffering is like when you're in pain, you don't think those air painful experiences to feel like you're always failing and you can't catch up and you're and you feel really loan. You feel overwhelmed under the gun stress. God bless you. I think that is struck separate ways. I mean, obviously various forms of suffering. But if you do this constantly throughout your whole life, you've just spent a lifetime suffering that sex. All right, so let's talk about a system that helps illuminate the constant decision making of everyday. Did you want to mention something, please? Yeah. Sorry. I was just going to say that. I think that when those things are all bogging me down, um, I look at it now where I have a choice. How I'm gonna react to them. I'm gonna either beat myself up and make myself feel really guilty about it. Yes. And then I get nowhere. Exactly. Then I'm just hitting a wall every single time But I feel like now, if I can Yeah, with processes and with systems in place, I can I can turn those things into something that I can overcome. But but it's not guilt that that I fall into so often and this at a time That is the way the most wasted emotion I've never seen Good to come out of that. Um good, Good. I think the big, uh, the big way to get yourself out of all that is to start automating parts of your life. And again, I always hear people say like, Well, I want to be free and I want to live on I want to make choices every day. I'm like, I'm not saying you don't do that. I'm singing for yourself up to do that in work and in life. So, um, the idea of this of having a system helps you eliminate constant excessive decision making, and that is the power of habits. We're gonna be talking a lot about habits, because what habits do have it's actually live in a different part of your brain, then decision making you actually make decisions here? I don't know. And your habits are over here, and there's a great book about habits off to think about the name of it is. But it was about the idea of like letting the thought transition from here to here again. I'm not sure it all that that's the right spots on the brain, but what that does it means you use a whole different side of your brain to go ahead and say, I'm doing it, I'm doing it. I'm thinking about it. I'm not deciding. It's not a question and you free yourself up to have more thought for other things that you care about that's actually biologically how it works.