A B Exercise for Collaboration
We're going to do a little exercise and I'm going to ask that that, um bret and tamara come up here and britt, you're going to be in a and tomorrow you're going to be a b don't turn him over yet and you're gonna be able to follow along by having an a and b you can turn it over and I will put up for the for the viewers I will put the text of this up so we can all read it let's see here there is a narrow this thing here it is all right, so let me just describe it so on the screen right now we can see a and b o we're going to put a jacket over that so you guys can't read way have and be and uh we have to obscure this screen from our from our from our contestants here and each one of them has been given a little script and the script I should be standing over here and the script uh uh is a starts the conversation and be answers and they each have a written script as if we were doing a play and then we just want to see what happens there's like nothing not theirs there's no bad outcome are ...
good outcome there's just a now come and so this isn't a contest in any way is just to experience negotiating that's that's the point of this is just to have the experience and then discuss how we felt and what happened during the experience so you guys can go ahead and then the online audience are going are going to see be able to read both scripts online and you guys can turn years over now and uh and we can all online see what a script is and what be script is um you know I've done some research and found in my experience with excuse me I found that my experience that my experience the fee for this project should be about one hundred twenty grand um wilbert our budget guidelines for projects like uh like this a ninety thousand two hundred thousand uh we like you and we feel you're qualified but I can't go above one hundred I can understand that maria what if we set some performance goals that would take me to the full hundred twenty thousand if I exceed them okay I think I understand what you're asking I could bring it up with my lead do you have any specific als in mind uh now we got a e um uh this is on the spot um let's see this is why I'm not good in front of the camera um I think I got a little uh just go ahead and say anything at all what kind of what what would we what kind of goal could we? Could we suggest mmmmmmmmm mmmmmmmmm I could get it done faster I could maybe I need to think about it overnight uh yeah maybe you should think about it overnight um okay, that sounds good uh are you free afternoon sure good work right thank you right now you guys can talk about what happened to just talk about um obviously I froze on camera I think that was a solid but that thing that happened but that could that could have happened anytime could've happened in the in the in the real negotiating no absolutely absolutely um yeah freezing the moment I think a classic response is exactly that I'm like I think I need some time to think about it right perfectly yeah it's up two when you don't know what to say I kind of like like I felt like fed off of that a little bit I was like oh like how would I respond to that if you didn't know and I don't know what are for you so if you'll just be talking and saying nothing you want to help her yeah yeah but I don't know you felt that beer so you felt so so you didn't know what to say so when I gave you the default that you could just put it off till tomorrow alright let some time go by that's a legitimate that's totally with legitimate response and and you tomorrow you were like I want to help that's the automatic response yeah yeah yeah but even in a mock negotiating all the real feelings come bubbling up cameras yeah, that adds a little drama but it would have been what happened even if we didn't have a camera because I've done this you know, this little exercise is absolutely yeah, absolutely yeah, one thing that I definitely notices like something something or just puts you on the spot where you don't have any planning and have a time it's like that's what you probably really need toe like focus and plan on and work on that. So when you do come into like a big client meeting it's like I have something in my head where I've done this before okay let me pull forthis you know, you still have that nervousness but it's like okay, I'm a little bit more familiar with that I can I can deal with planning is a huge advantage no opportunity to plan here no opportunity planning so the planning is a huge advantage yeah, yeah and it prepares you for that situation. Yeah exactly love it. So you guys as you're sitting there um it's a very formal setting it's very like okay, we're sitting in our chairs, we're talking to each other what did the did you feel like your body language affected you at all? Did you feel like you this kind of very artificial situation kind of affected you and is there a way that you would change that if you were then sitting at a table with somebody else? Um I think I feel like I'm like, you know, it's really kind of like leaning back right now like, you know, like I've known you for which I have I guess I've known you for a day and a half from some feeling comfortable with you, but I guess in a in a typical situation I'm more kind of like up front and a little bit more professional um extremely like conscious of like like how like my body image kind of thing so you know, making sure that like, you know, my arms are crossed or anything are you don't seem the fidget uh anything like that so I come across this like a leasing a confident uh stated before smiling a lot um is actually really big tried teo try to lighten the situation by cracking like light jokes and like maybe stating the awkwardness is always really good it usually clears the air stating the artwork yeah, yeah, absolutely all right, so what are your recommendations when you do have people role play and practice ahead of time like max was saying just kind of practice in this situation when you are suggesting for people at home to go out and try something like this how do you recommend setting it up? Do you recommend doing it with just a friend or a family? Uh how should what are best practices for people practicing? Uh, come up with a little with a little dialogue for each other based on the circumstance that you're going to go into. So, you know something about the client, the opportunity you know something about the project think of what are the likely things they're going to ask you make a list of the likely things they're going to ask you, uh, make a list of these knowns, you know, there's things you know about it, you know how long they have? You know what the schedule is, perhaps or the due date, you know, who's going to be involved, you have some sense of their goals. You have a sense of the of the possibilities, if you will. And so make a list of all the knowns that you can come up with and just that alone will help you plan, you know, um, it's it's um the very act of well taking the note writing it down puts it in your frontal lobe, and then you are able to recall it when you're in a difficult situation, you're mohr able to recall it well, I like that you did at a you know, improvise section because that's gonna happen in any negotiation you're not you don't know exactly what people going to say you do have probably a lot of information you could get a lot of information ahead of time, but then there's always that bit where something just comes out of the blue do you have any thoughts? Prairie girl was wondering whether you have any suggestions on how to become better thinking quickly on your feet and reacting to those unknowns. Yeah, I think the most important thing you can do is just is is get as many knowns down as possible always be prepared to ask a question in return, help me understand why you would ask that question, help me understand what your thought is, what were you thinking right there? You know, please, no, just to give me a little bit more on that, so always be willing, teo asked. In fact, question asking is the the most powerful thing that you can do in this situation would have been a good idea to actually ask her like, well, how do you see this project to kind of like like because I asked her where her girls were interested now, right? So I could have, like, helped leader to, like, coming up with one together? Yeah, you could've, yeah, yeah, because you're because that the natural response that you would have is oh, I want to help her she stuck you know she started down this bold path I don't want to stop her actually I want to find out what she has to say so I'm going to suggest some possibilities yeah so yeah go ahead and help yeah you bet that's great well and it goes back to kind of some of the things that we were talking about yesterday which is showing interest gets them tio c u is somebody who is interested in them and is willing to work with them wants to understand them right? So I think that's part of you know, asking the question in response to a question does give you a little bit time to think it gives you a little bit time to understand what they're looking for but it also will endear you to them right exactly I love it yeah and you can always you can always stall you can always stall. You can always say uh could we meet later? I'm not feeling very good about this now or or kind of get back to could I think about it overnight? These are all legitimate responses I like all right, all right do we have any ten tips to find to finish out this? I think we have some ted tips they will go to ted tips and here they are ask, don't tell it's always better to ask fan to tell, don't you want to fill up the air with conversation when we're nervous? Instead, we ask a question, uh, use used the I didn't emphasize this during this session, but use in my experience, not, I think, in my experience is way more powerful foreign expert than saying, I think, in my experience reminds them that you think you are, that you are an expert, that you do have an expertise, and you are referring to whatever it is with based on your experience, saying, I think sort of trivializes the question of it, uh, use, help me understand, and then, of course, always slow down, breathe, take your time, it's okay.