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Free Preview: Identifying Your Beliefs

 

Money Management for Couples

 

Lesson Info

Free Preview: Identifying Your Beliefs

Okay, here's, what I want you to do take out your manual page forty four and get ready to write your answers here. Now for those of you at home, if you don't have the manual, take out a piece of paper I'm gonna write give you these beliefs because you're not gonna have him bring down this is not like a scoring thing, so you just need tio notice the beliefs if you don't have the manual it's it's not ideal, but it's fine if you don't, if you don't have the manual, just write down like if this belief like if you're one to nine or ten, like if if you feel some emotional response to it, a ten means you totally agree, so to be rich, you have to use people and take advantage of them. So if you feel charged about that like, yeah, totally, you have to use people think evangeline are you feel like no away like absolutely not to be rich, you do not have to use people, take it, manage them like you're a one you may want to just a few words down to remember with that belief is so what you're lookin...

g for, for example, mark, because you think it may not be your beliefs? Look in here, if there's anything that sticks out that maybe something just maybe just play with me on this, okay? So go ahead and rate yourself can or if it's something that charges you feel like it would be a one two meaning you don't really agree or a nine ten, then write down is as much as you can if you don't really like if you're five and it's like it doesn't really mean much to you, then then don't write down to worry about that leak in number two. Getting rich is a matter of luck I don't feel good enough to be rich number four getting rich takes too much work and struggle five having a lot of money will make me less spiritually or pure. Most rich people probably did something bad or dishonest to get their money remember if you're if you really believe strongly about something, make sure you write that down number seven money is the root of all evil eight if I get rich, certain people in my life won't like me or it or like it or me mark, I want mark tio to comment on any of these if he has tens or ones actually one to nine or ten I want to hear if market got any of these number nine I'm not very good at money stuff not very good at it ten if I get a lot of money, I might lose it ten you totally agree one you don't done okay, you know, you go to the next page if you're done your inner manual you have the second page fifteen more questions finish those and then we're going to talk about this number eleven if I really strive for wealth and don't succeed, I'll feel like a failure number twelve this just isn't the right time for me to focus on my finances thirteen money causes lots of problems it's hard to make money and lastly, he's striving for wealth will stress me out and make me ill so I'm going to put up the other questions but if you're a home if you don't have the manual, you can just skim it real quick and then if there's anything that jumps out and no, you're not going to be able to grab them all don't worry about it let's get the manual when you have a chance but I want to hear now you from from the audience here and at home as well what beliefs or what beliefs stood out to the most either you got a one to nine or ten I have ones on everything ones on everything interesting so is there one that you just skim some of that and pick out one to use as an example something you think like think like really guides your life that what they're really guides your life like you're not surprised that you believe that looking at your situation right I don't I don't agree with any of these are like if if I make more more money I'll just have to pay more taxes are I got a little garden made me rich poor middle class you know that's that's you get you get wealthy you're poor or middle class because you work hard or you invest poorly or because the economy is bad and there's not work okay yeah good I want to keep going but we know you have a question but it's interesting some of these questions because I know what I should say and what my actual belief is is something completely different. Okay, give me an example. Er uh number twenty seven I need a man to take care of me awesome. Thank you for sharing. So why and what what did you put? I feel it out. What? What do you know that you believe you said I know what I should put obviously I was crying one so it's a ten I'll tell you it's a ten that's what you wanted to tell us you told me a little bit during your but we want audience know what's going on why don't you tell us a little bit you know about what's going on your life and why that is so charged for you emotionally what else before pardon I'm the eldest of four children um and grew up in a small little town and my dad worked and my mom took care of all four of us and she didn't start working when I was sixteen and I got to a point where she ended up getting a job she really loved working in bridal and I knew that she loved that because that's what she was doing before she had me um and so um now she's again not working and she takes care of the home both of my brothers still live at home um and it's it's I haven't had I see female role models on television, which is great because that's what I'm pursuing is my as my career is what I want that have been working on creating for myself and I've been fairly successful at it I mean, I have no, um people to really connect with in that you know it you know I don't have really role models ok in my life so what's going on so thank you for giving us a little bit about your background, sir, what is going on with you and your relationship? You're married? Yes, I'm married and tell me what's going on in regards to that specific question my husband is taking care of me and I feel really um I kind of feel guilty about it do you feel you all? Yeah, I feel guilty about it. I feel I feel ashamed that I'm in a lot of ways very much like my mother, which I love my mother. But I don't want to lose their life that she's living because I, you know, I feel bad for her because she's amazing artist like me, um and so I have ah, I have a difficult time. I don't see too many. I don't see what I don't see what it is that I want in somebody else to be able to make that or create that for myself like I don't you're talking about your role model rollout of this farce with me aback sex. So he told me during the break that you know what, rina's, if I can share what you had said is that, you know, my husband makes money don't really know exactly how much, but he makes the money and and he you don't have a house. You said I don't I don't have a house. My my husband has one, right? Well, we we rent. He pays the rent. Okay, we have two. How did you put it? If you could try to remember he had to say it keeps the roof or that's what? I said he keeps a roof over my head awesome. So he said he keeps a roof over my head so the belief that I need a man to take care of me at a ten right? How is that serving you having that belief you have the belief that money sorry I need a man to take care of me how is that serving you? But it is it is it is what it is the situation that I'm in this because I have a belief but I wasn't serving I mean, what do you get out of it? Well, you get a roof over your head that's for one, right? Yeah, I mean, I have you know I have a car to drive and I have you know he pays for everything and that's it's a wonderful so one thing the way it's serving you is they believe that I need a man to take care of me you have a man to take care of you yes, right. So that's one way it's serving you so let's think about this. We're talking about conflicting beliefs like, can you see how you may not ever make money if you believe that I need a man to take care of me because part of your system just wants you to be taken care of I mean, most like your system wants you to be taken care of. So like it's not surprising that you would maybe not make the money that you want to make and have success in your business does that make sense? Yes, because you're like I need a man to take care of me that is like it's in your unconscious believes I mean, you know it consciously now but I obviously so exacting your right affecting your job, picking your career, affecting your business, all those things. So how is it holding you back? Kind of just said it, but let you tell me. Well, yeah, I mean in because I have all of my basically is taken care of because before him I was in survival mode. I was working two, three, four jobs just so I could keep a roof over my head. Um, and guess what? When you didn't have a man to do what? You did it, right? Yeah, I did it. Did it go keep going? Yeah, I did it. And, um and it was. But the thing is, is that the difference is, is that because I have a man to take care of me, I'm actually, but to pursue my passion where when I was working two, three, four jobs, it was not so how is it holding you back so as we're trying to get to right so it's having that belief how is the belief of I need a man to take care of me holding you back because I don't need to make I don't need more than what I have so they so there's no fire under your we who like you have no fire litton lit under your butt right? You go and make the business happen because you have a room every had you have all essentials your system is telling I would like to have a nothing it's okay? And so what happens is that the way it's holding you back is that you probably don't you don't get the results that you want your business where you know that you're you're in your passion, you know you could be successful, you know you could help more people and really well, I think and you can disagree with this but what's most important to know about that how it's holding you back is that you are not helping people when you could what was your that's kind of my stuff? Because I care so much about helping people what was like your ultimate money value to remember like one of the top three yeah, I mean, it was it wass tio uh that I could help people create meaning for themselves um help them create me. Okay, that's perfect that's perfect. So you your top money value is to help people create meaning for themselves. Whoa! You see why that's so awesome? Because having that belief the I need a man to take care of me is doing the exact opposite exact opposite. You're like living small, you're playing small because you don't you don't really need the money. You know you don't need this success to have a roof over your head and that's because that's a language that you use that's what's most important to you is like as far as financial is having that roof over your head, right? Right? And so now you're not being the person you were meant to be in this world helping people tell me one more time the the language used say, former time for the money value oh, making meaning for people helping people to make meeting for themselves, helping people to make meaning for themselves, helping people to make meeting for themselves like in their life like purpose or yeah, I turned their meaning around right so for me it's like I I help them become the go to experts in their field too, attract more clients and make more money because I have a television show, right? And I I have a cool a background and performing arts performing arts so by the last thing I'm talking you know it's like yeah well I'm sick I'm only interrupting you because I want everyone watching to notice the difference what just happened with her body what just happened with her face what happened with her body how excited she got how much passion you had yeah because you're talking about look we'll just happen boom just went the other way is not interesting because now you're what are you saying to yourself in your head right now what just made you cry um because I am doing what I love I mean there there I I know that I can do what I can dio on what are you telling yourself you know what you can do but what's making you cry let me give you a hint I think I think that you're not doing it to the full degree that you could write you're not helping more people you're not doing it to the full degree that you could that's what's making crack someone showed me this uh was speaker and keep cunningham he's actually the rich dad of rich dad for that like he's the cow his name's keep cunningham really great guy got opportunity do you like webinars and stuff with him and work with him a little bit which was nice one of the things the first time I saw him speak he had the slide come up and it said this hell on earth is meeting the person who could have been let that sit hell on earth hell on earth is meeting the person you could have been and I saw that slide that all teary odd why why did I get teary eyed? Because I because I wasn't being that person as I saw my life in the person that I was being I mean, I literally I picture in my mind I'm like there I am, you know, thirty years from now or whatever like I I could have had this like the person I could have been I see that future of who like how many people I could help millions of people help change their money help change the relationship helped change their lives. I saw that's the person that could have been in that person was walking on the cloud meeting the person who didn't get there the person that was too scared tio get on stage or to take action the person that was, um like thinking they're not enough not good enough I'm not smart enough like focusing all on me instead of focusing, focusing on all the people that I could help that so it drove me and he says what you need to remember and that's why you cried that's, why he cried well, I think that and I think that the emotion comes out of feeling that every day feeling that hell on earth because I see that person every day it's just not figuring out how to get there. I don't know the behaviors well, you are in the right place, girl. Yeah, it's okay? And if you're thinking that same thing like, well, I don't know how that's why you gotta manual everything walking through it if you do everything in this and you do it, like regularly keep coming back to you're gonna discover new things, you're going to grow and then you go back to you discover new things so that you don't have to have all the answers here. What behaviors? I'm going to give you daily weekly monthly like I'm gonna give you all these behavior you know what to do, what action steps to take well, what should I believe? Just shoes so what's your new belief so if I don't need a man to take care of me was at a ten what's your new belief I have a word for that, robyn yes, I called re choosing re choosing cool thank you and online, you know jar chatters air having on sharing their own beliefs and stressed says one belief I have too much money, it's not good for relationships, all sort of relationships with very few exceptions and then deb nava is sharing her situation, she says, I grew up really poor, so I tend to believe that things can be different for me and my husband is difficult because we worked with the poor overseas, so in comparison, we're doing amazing, but in our world we aren't beliefs affecting our behavior is so powerful in that way and then, yeah, miata saying now says, I am not married yet, and money is already stressful. I'm trying to get my finances in order now to prevent having problems later on. Awesome. Well, thank you so much for sharing and, um, everybody can relate to that stuff. I mean, maybe a little bit different for you, um, but what's happened that that dynamic, the police close behaviors equals or be your bank account is why you are where you are and what it's amazing because, like I just said to rina like you don't you don't have to have all the answers right now because we're going to go through it and you can keep coming back to it but noticed anything that you're like. You notice like the things that you just said, write that down and notice how what's, you know, what's not serving you and what's. What is serving you and what's holding you back so I want to go back to rachelle because I kind of passed you over because you said everything was a one so I just want to like test this because like I did not get all ones like I don't know anyone that we're one to the other ones and what were they deserve? One was an eight one was a five ok give me your eight uh it was it was I think my partner should take care of the money because I'm not good at it ok cool so it's kind of similar thing but different so I think my partner should take care of the money because I'm not good at it ok cool so how is that serving you? It makes me and in france it's tantalizes me that it was me and it makes me not have to be responsible okay, so it takes away the responsibility, okay, great. So that's how that's how it's serving you but how I mean so not having responsibility not being responsible for that. How is that serving is so that you don't have to have the responsibility like but I don't think it doesn't well that's not true because I take care of half the building, he takes care of half the bills so what's going to happen is this conflicting stuff comes out you you're your system is like, ok, I'm at an eight on this, and then you give reasons why it's not true, which is perfect because we want to try to annihilate these beliefs, right? But say the belief or more time uh, I think my partner should take care of the money because I'm not good at it, ok? So so a belief. So I'm just going to give you a couple examples and may or may not be it, but like a belief that, you know, I'm not good at it, so I think my husband should take care of it because I'm not good at it. Now, how that's serving you is that? Well, you may not have to take care of it as much. You're not taking responsibility, so I agree with you that was perfect because not having to take responsibility that kind of gives you're off the hook, right? So you don't have to blame yourself, it's not if things you know. If the poop hits the fan, then you could say it was not my fault. It's his fault because he's the one taking care of it right? So gives you an out right let's be off the hook and how it's holding you back is that well I don't know if you have anxiety or you feel good you don't have the money that you want you told me you don't have a lot of money so how is it holding you back by having that belief like bondage? So notice these right notice this if you're thinking like everything's one there no more good he said this is the one you disagree so you think there are more good opportunity always, always opportunities because I'm a woman it's hard to get rich so you believe that's not true I don't need to manage my money because I hardly have any you know you need to manage it so there's a lot of good things about your beliefs but it may be just one and maybe they're not on this list by the way this is just one example but some beliefs that you have figure out what those are and then go through the steps like how is it serving me? How is it holding me back? You could even say this there are no more good opportunities I completely disagree how is that serving me? Well, I believe their opportunities right but not believing that I believe instead their opportunities how is that serving me? Well, I experienced life like with abundance because I'm like oh things they're just gonna work out that's serving me? How is it holding me back? I think just another opportunity is going to come and fix my life. You can turn any of these around. They're serving in the holding you back. One, two, five, nine, ten doesn't really matter, it's just the ones that are stronger. You noticed? Like, if you got a lot of ones I was so challenging, how is it holding you back? You know, maybe you're just always like, you know, investing money and things, and you're not getting a return on it because you liked opportunity, opportunity, opportunity, opportunity, that's going to fix me that's a secret key that's the magic bullet is any of that true sort of, uh, I don't know, I'm just saying I I I had a business for twenty five years, and so I had a really comfortable study lifestyle, and then I was in it was the pedestrian, a hit and run accident, and so I you can't stand up and do that kind of work anymore, and so I've always had goals. And what kind of work was it? I was I had a catering company and was a private chef, and so so let me pause it there. Okay, this is awesome so I'm in a challenge you that that might be a limiting belief I can't do that anymore so you'd had a successful business just just hold on because I know you don't want to disagree your system is not going to like this okay? I'm just telling you but I'm just going to challenge you you had a business you're you have success right and if something happen to you out of your control which and I'm sorry that you experienced that by the way I am sorry about that but then what happened was you you saw that as as as an obstacle I said I'm for change what I thought as a change so it doesn't change ok? So I'm just because I don't know the whole story so I'm just making guesses here so forgive me if I'm stepping on your toes but but what the one thing you said is that I can't do that anymore and I know people run catering businesses without actually being the cater you know being on their feet I can't do that because that my company is me ok good ok, so what else go ahead so now I'm so I have always had goals and so I've taken two years off my body is now uncooperative my spine is really hurt and so I've taken two years to try and work with my body to try and heal it and as I I think I'm into teo on friday and launching a new business that I don't have to be on my feet with nice and and how long has it been since you had a successful business and that you're launching anyone? Um, well, I had I've had another business in between, so I've had I've always had businesses and have you been making money? I haven't I didn't spend tio here since I've been making any money, ok, yes, I had so much in this in business on friday, and I won't have to be on my feet before the extended periods of time, and, um, I have a really good following already, and so I don't hold, so I hold and I work like, on jobs, and I'm one of those I'm a girlfriend, so you I'm gonna posy here when you blew out that balloon and it didn't work and it didn't blow up and you're like, wow, this is so true, right? That represented your net worth, which means you couldn't get any air in that balloon, which meant that your net worth is either zero or negative would be my guest, but a somewhat your reaction was like that's so true, so tell us, tell us all listening here a little bit about what's going on what's happening like where you are where are you financially because I see that you're telling us like things seem ok like sing I guess business opportunity opportunity yeah thing's going to go well right but what's really going on what's truth I've been living I've been living on disability and it's really tiny it covers my rent and so I've been working on jobs doing a lot of a lot of different stuff fortunately I was raised in a really talented family we have a lot of I was given a lot of gifts by god and I can do a lot of different things, so I'm never too far away from a job like he said there are a lot of opportunities but that doesn't get you wear your money in the bank where you know financially, so you're I'm I'm every month I'm at zero at zero got it so it's not a very comfortable place to be friends thank you for that thank you for that. Honestly, I know that wasn't easy and, um I appreciate you just being open and honest about it, so you have a lot of great empowering beliefs obviously ideo obviously yes, and I just want you to find the ones that are like, really holding you back because you no matter whether you're on disability or not like obviously you're an amazing woman and you can make whatever you want happen, and I want to know why you haven't. I don't want to tell me right now, but my inkling is that the reason you haven't has to do with some of those beliefs, so your job is to find out what are those beliefs, and maybe they're not on the sheet. That's, ok, like, I just gave you some examples, but think about what is really holding me back. If you're not where you want to be, I don't care if you have a million dollars. But if you want five million or not where you want to be right, or if you're you have nothing and you want to thousand dollars like two thousand eleven, think would just be great. You've got to be true to yourself about what your believing to be true that's, not actually true.

Class Description

Strong financial management skills are a must-have for a thriving, healthy relationship — but conversations about money can trigger feelings of guilt and anxiety. Simple financial discussions don't have to turn into emotional minefields. Join Robyn Crane and CreativeLive to learn the skills you need to manage your money as a couple, without letting your finances get in the way of your relationship.

This course will teach you everything you and your partner need to know to manage your finances effectively – without stress, guilt, or conflict. You’ll learn concrete tools for communicating about finances openly and honestly. You’ll also build strategies for recognizing and correcting flawed beliefs about financial management. You’ll explore why money issues are among the most common reasons for break-ups and divorce, and learn how to safeguard your relationship against the friction financial disagreements can cause. You’ll also create a concrete, easy-to-implement system that allows you to achieve financial health by playing to your and your partner’s strengths.

You’ll leave this course with strong personal finance skills and an understanding of how to collaborate with your partner to work toward a thriving financial future.