The Power of the Question
As we move through this, I'm gonna also ask you high powered questions on right now we'll start three high powered questions I want to think about right now and again in your book. This is on page three think about something in your past that you a most proud off, and I want you to jot that down think about something in your past that you are most proud off and they give you three and I have to ask them all right now and for those of you at home, just think about it and feel free to share if you like and then about that what energizes you about this present moment and if you're not sure, think about the things that happening in your life when you feel energy charge through your body that's your sweet spot might be gardening it might be for me, it's just being in the moment with you guys, this is so energizing to me right now having this honor and then another question is what are you looking forward to in the future so that we can look back on our past at the good times and celebrate a...
nd write and reflect on the good times we can acknowledge the not so good times, but we don't necessarily want to ruminate in them, we can acknowledge them and then in the present moment gives us appreciation for this moment, and then the next moment, and then the next moment that's really where the gift of happiness happens is in the present moment, and then another thing we're seeing that by looking forward to your future and being excited about that, it changes the whole like internal energy system of your body. So it's, reflecting on a positive past, getting excited about the moment and looking forward with anticipation to the future and part of this whole process as we move off thoughts, is moving all body on moving our breath. We're going to do that today, but here's, something I want to think about. I wanted to start reframing the why behind the workout. One of the biggest tools we have in our toolbox of happiness is actually movement. It is showing that exercise changes your brain chemistry. It is like a happy pill for your brain. Not moving is the equivalent of taking a depressant, but we don't hear this, but I believe this is my own personal belief that the why behind why we move is a powerful influencer. Is that where we put our focus? Does that fog focus become a positive, or is it a negative? A positive focus for me when I'm moving is I know when I move my brain's going to fire on any more creative I know when I move in a better mood so don't let it kill the people around me aunt have great relationships I know when I move I'm going to have more energy I know when I move I'm gonna have a better outlook on life I know when I move I am going to feel happier all positive drivers and all intrinsically driven there all for my internal I also know if I move to try and love my body versus because I love my body I also know if I move to try and lose weight or to fight my age that doesn't impact my brain on my body in a powerful way and instead of actually motivating me to move it debilitates me so I want us to reframe movement over these next two days if you know someone that hasn't been inspired it's not them no so many people I know think that fitness has failed down now he hasn't you know fitness has failed you you have not failed fitness, we didn't give you the tools I haven't summer mentioned flow before when you're in flowing, you're moving, everything changes we're going to find your flow over these next two days and it might be out walking, taking the dog for war, playing with your kids, going, kayaking, being in nature so I want us to move for feelings and feeling happy first his numbers you are not your numbers I am not my age I'm not the size stuck inside of this dress I need to know certain numbers you need to know your blood pressure your resting heart rate all of that is good stuff but numbers cannot define you. I will look at those metrics in the next segment on how we can take numbers and make them a powerful tool to energize us versus debilitating us. Okay, I say here that when we move our body it moves our brain it moves our breath and moves off thoughts it moves our feelings about how we view the world and everything starts with one thing I thought everything we do start with a thought from the chat room from somebody when you asked what the two words that they would say that the younger self dar said just relax oh, I like that just relax breathe on a great way to relax is by breathing it's like for me it's lighten up lighten up I love that thank you for sharing thank you but that's what it's about it's the moments you know what he movinto happiness it I know for some of you still in my son really trite but it brings such depth to your work to your relationships to your creativity so happiness is a win win it as life to your years and years to your life. And that is science based. So we talk about getting happy. So what does that mean to us? Fantastic. I find fascinating research was done in two thousand one at the university of kentucky on this one particular piece of research reframed how people looked at happiness on longevity. Originally, this study was not done looking at happiness that todd was actually done in response, looking at the brain with alzheimer's. And they had I think it was like six hundred seventy eight sisters. Nuns donate their brains to science. They currently have five hundred prints in science. And what they can see is you can by looking at a brain you can see, you know, how resilient itwas how you know what, what? What was what was showing up in the brain that wasn't really showing up in the body and what they saw. That because these nuns also kept journals, that the nuns had had a more positive outlook lived ten years longer than the sisters that had a negative outlook, the interesting that they weren't going in to look at how happy of these nuns they were looking to look att the research off what alzheimers does on the brain, and then what they also found is even more fascinating that although alzheimer's the symptom of it showed up in the brain there was no outward signs of it on fifteen brains they had showed that there was there was disease there, so maybe they don't have the exact research on that yet. But maybe happiness also makes us more resilient and our brain better able to deal with disease. They're still looking into that that's not being proven but that's a compelling reason to think that not just move for your body. Move your brain you know, moving also it lowers the blood pressure for me it lowers my anxiety it helps me deal with my stress. It helps with depression, it had life tow years it helps us retain brain function. It helps us retain memory. It primes our mind to be better able tto learn for our kids think of all are inactive children out there that seeing studies right now kids go and work out and go on play soccer before they sit down at school. They are better able tto learn and it's not just for our children is for us to I want to be a constant lerner and if we know a pill could do all of these things that be flying off the shelves but guess what movement does the same thing and we'll discuss little bit why think more of us are not moving later on for me this is so true the privilege of a lifetime is to become who you truly are are still different play on a very famous another famous quote by joseph campbell and my feeling is many times we say I want to lose weight or I want this job or I want more money what we really are thinking is that that's going to make us happier now they're always to raise your sense of well being from okay to really great and I can't think of anything worth training more than our happiness muscle so what is happiness you know positive emotions the way we look at our life reflects everything we have better physical health were also tend to be more generous we have enhanced resilience were more creative were more successful more likeable we have better relationships there's a lot of good that happens from positive emotion I say thoughts are electrical emotions are chemical so what triggers our emotions our thoughts the definition in the dictionary is happiness is a state of being happy it doesn't really help me that much go there see what's going to be happy okay and experience that makes you happy but what we're seeing in the world of positive psychology is that neuroscientists on buddhist monks all agree on one thing it has depth it has me ling meaning and a sense of purpose ah purpose driven life is a powerful life and there are three main components of happiness flourishing that comes out of positive psychology. And this is by martin seligman one of the leaders has positive emotion, engagement and meaning and purpose and is maximized by community. I heard, ah lot if you talk about and a willingness to stretch and grow, it is about living life versus standing on the sidelines. The question is not are you happy? But could you be happier on what was seeing that meaning and purpose, an engagement, a good life are the two key components to really living a life off that we love a life that's flourishing? So is that growing vigorously thriving, bring prosperous and the interesting thing with talk about this tomorrow, social contagion just buy you feeling more energetic? It spreads, you know you could feel that energy, you just walk into a room and it just this energy feels great, or you're walking through you go. So whether you believe on the power of thought or not, at this point, I think at the end of two days you will. We all know that you wake up in the morning, I got lots of energy, I'm feeling the fire, I'm stoked or like, I just don't have that much energy and a lot of that's driven by our thought process, so what is positive psychology? Ah lot of people go well why would you just focus on the good you know the thing that's going to mean a better is focusing on my faults I gotta tell you I would think that will been ruminating and what's wrong with us plenty enough yes I know for me I know my own faults better than anyone I run them in my mind over and over again it's called the negativity bias and again research proven we tend tohave a biased towards the negative if you think you're mourning today it's a short morning already but think of yesterday you probably have like ten also interactions with people at say maybe five of them were positive for neutral and maybe one negative which is the one you kind of think about we say it's a negativity buys it would explain a little bit more tomorrow why that is we needed tohave that bias when we were cavemen you know hunting and pillaging of being chased by animals we needed that biased but I think it it stayed with us I don't need it anymore they say that the negative is like velcro it sticks to you and then the goodness like teflon e all the good stuff that way having ourselves just kind of brush it off like oh oh that so what is positive psychology it's not ignoring what is wrong but it's focusing on our strength and working from our strength that will then enable us to also work on the stuff that needs working on when I'm certainly far from perfect there's a lot of stuff I could be working on, but if I ignore my strength I'm not going to move from my strongest place my happiest place so I love her this analogy that you know, psychology in the past and I'm not a psychologist usedto often focus on what's wrong with you to sit down in a therapist office I've been in therapy for seven years many years ago to deal my anxiety which will talk about tomorrow I'm already over sharing whatever the first like what's wrong what do you need to work on versus what's going right in your life right now? Power of the question what is working for you right now? Now we're not going to ignore what needs to be fixed, so I think like a sailboat and the ocean and there's a hole in it so you're not going to ignore that hole you need to fix the hole but then once that hole is fixed it's not going to go anywhere you don't need to hoist the sails and put the wind under the sails to move you forward and that are your strength, your strength move you forward in life, your strength what able you to serve others your strength or what able you to do your best work and I grew up in england on a lot of us, I think, feel that focusing on your strength is not the thing that you do. So I spent all my time focus on what was wrong with me. But that doesn't help me in the world. That doesn't help me serve others so, that's, what positive psychology is it's focusing on the good on what strong and then the rest? We also take care off.