The Key to Happiness
Let's dive right in know that you may have this burning question it's a question that I often get they most commonly get from people and that is well what is the key to happiness? Well it's pretty interesting because for the first time in history we actually have answers to this I mean think about it throughout history people have been asking philosophers and religious leaders what are the keys to happiness how to increase their happiness plato and socrates were sitting in their cave like and with their togas what? What are the keys to happiness but now we know but it's not what you think it's not what most of us think so first I'm going to give you a pop quiz okay ready which and I want you teo raise your hands to be thinking about what your answer is ok which of the following increases lasting happiness a having financial freedom no worries about money yachts imagine it right big paychecks, fat bank account vacation homes a anyone no takers, huh? Ok not that easily fooled ok be findi...
ng the love of your life relationships are important right? We love love finding love of our life anyone beat no chris you say no thanks so you're killing me see being completely stress free no worries life is cool smooth sail in okay or d none of the above yeah okay d is the answer none of the above ok so yes the key is what is the key to happiness here it goes ready we'll tell you first of all that it's it's not found it's created it's your first hint it's how you respond to your circumstances how you respond to your circumstances not the circumstances themselves but how we process our experience is what we make of those circumstances so yeah it's nice to have pleasant experiences in a nice house and a nice meals and so forth but what do you make of them? How do you experience them? Do you really taste the food? You really grateful for the fortune that you have so it's not so important actually whether you have a wife or a husband or a child it's do you feel a deep sense of intimacy and connection in your life? It's not how many? How many things on your bucket list you've checked off but do you allow yourself to feel a sense of awe? Do you allow yourself to be touched by those experiences that's the key to happiness I love the way that martha margaret lee run beck says she says happiness is not a destination it's a manner of traveling so truly the key to happiness is more about the how how do you live? Why do you live not so much what and where do you live just to drive home the point if you're not totally convinced because we spend so much time working on this external circumstances and so little time working on our internal response to them, I just want to show you some really surprising research even with what is seemingly a life changing experience after two years happiness returns to its baseline this is true of newlyweds the honeymoon last yeah it's great but you got two years baby and then lottery winners you know the win all this money all this stuff like wow, that would be if only you could win the lottery right? You got two years on that high because you're coming back down to right where you were even with negative experiences that we would never want to sign up for paraplegics two years after their life changing accident they're baselines return their happiness levels return to base line this is kind of amazing right? And again what it shows is that it's how we respond to our circumstance says far less at about a ratio of four to one circumstances are only about a fourth of our of the power of our experience, our sir our response to our circumstances about four times more powerful than the circumstances themselves I want to share with you what is my favorite quote in the world and this is so profound to me that I'm ill it moves me deeply and I use it to navigate through my life victor frankel he was a psychiatrist and a survivor of nancy concentration camps and he said between a stimulus and a response is this space and in that space with the power to choose our response and in our response laser growth and our happiness right between a stimulus in a response there's a space in that space is air power that's the key right there if we could live that extraordinary life yeah, the native americans have another way of saying it that is so beautiful and I want to share this legend with you it's a legend of the two wolves imagine this there's a grandmother the elder of the tribe sitting in her teepee with her grandson so maybe they're around fire with like buffalo hides keeping them warm or something sitting there the silence and she says to him grandson there are two wolves that live within us there's a wolf of love a wolf of affection, of kindness, of caring of compassion and there's a second wolf it's the wolf of evil, of shadow, of malice of shame and blame and those two wolves are raging a war against each other in your heart and the grandson looks up at her and says, well, grandma which wolf wins and she says, it's the wolf you feed which wolf do you feed, especially in this day and age, right, sometimes it does feel like out there they're two forces which one's gonna win, right, but also within us to forces which went to a feed so that's talk about how to create, in habit of feeding the wolf of love. Today, again, we're going to focus on three habits of happiness. Three essential habits of happiness. The first one is taken, the good we're going to start with that in a moment. The second is connect that relationships are important. They're the heart of our happiness. And three show up life is not a dress rehearsal, right? We don't want to get to the end of our lives and be like, where did it go? Or, yeah, I had a pretty great life, but what happened, move so fast, missed out on so much show up.