Crush Your Fears & Silence the Critics
Hi, I'm michael hi, I'm amy, this is our first lesson on crushing your fears and silencing the critics critics in your mind and also the critics and the cheap seats who invariably find fault with others because they're out there and sometimes we think a lot about them, and it makes us nervous. You know what, there's this there's this saying out there that you're supposed toe think of your audience in their underwear to calm your nerves. So let's, just for example, let's just think of them right there of naked right now and see if that helps calm our nerves. And I don't think so, it's not working for no, not really, although you look fantastic, but that is some of the rear dissed and possibly worse advice out there. This idea that you're supposed to think of people in their underwear and then that somehow is going to make you comfortable. And I don't think that's what you should be focusing on if you're trying to, you know, relax, be comfortable and go out there and be in service of you...
r audience. So forget about that one that doesn't work so here's what you can do instead, though, in the best medicine. For column in your nerves for handling anxiety and we hear this all the time it's one of the number one questions that we get is how do I handle stage right? How do I handle my nerves? And the best thing you khun d'oh is make sure that you're really well prepared that you know exactly what you're doing even that it's in your muscle memory, what you will do and say and how you will perform and that's why you're here and we're gonna help you absolutely be one hundred percent prepared here's what happens often when we were anxious about performing we have two intentions now the first intention is to go out there and nail it just to kill it to crush it and that's that's a very empowering feeling and then we have another intention to do everything we can do to avoid being in any situation where we may be criticized, laughed at or rejected and of course those two intentions they cancel each other out so you've gotta make a decision. You've got to decide what's more important to you approval or results because if you just focus on approval, then you might not be in service of the audience and you might start to obsess on yourself and get nervous so focus on results that is the number one most important thing to think about it it's not your results like how many books are going to sell but it's the results that you're trying to produce for the audience that's it now the inner critic those voices in your head that may say I don't know enough I'm not good enough I'll never be enough you know very many of us it's very common that either we have that voice that is our own voice in our heads not even crazy way make yourself minor or it might be some memory there may have been some authority figure in the distant past for you who planted that seed in your mind sometimes we're afraid we will not live up to our potential but at some point we have to think to ourselves whose life am I living? Am I going to pursue my dreams or be stopped by that teacher or parent or sibling or whomever it wass that put that thought in your mind a very long time ago and on top of that then the next thing we can do is focus on the fact that perfection is the enemy of good and if you're trying to be perfect and think hollis and I'll never be good enough I'll never I'll never be enough then focus instead on being of service focus on doing good that's right? I love the way you just described that now let's think about those external critics also those people who are out there who we may be concerned or going tto find fault in what we're doing or not agree with what we have to say, and the first thing that we need to do is to stop being critical. I mean, I've sent surprising, you know, how he does that? What does that have to do with with of over of silencing the critics? Because if we are critical of others, then it's very, very likely that we are going to be uncomfortable standing up in expressing ourselves because we're going to be very worried about what other people will say about us so you could be a performer or you could be a critic, but you can't be both. And here a creative live, you need to be a performer, so we look at all of the work that other people do, and we support it even if we don't agree with every methodology, every you know, particular protocol that's out there, we still support the work that others are doing, and it makes us feel a lot better. Okay, so that's number one, number two remove absolutes from your language always. Yes, just like that you see, here is what happens when you use absolutes. You are actually lying. For the most part, for example, all generalities are false, including that one, if we use expressions like you have to do this or everybody thinks this way, or as amy said, it's always this way well, then, were actually creating a big, gaping hole in our argument, because somebody could say, well, my sister doesn't think that way, or that doesn't happen to my friend, and often what you're asking people to do is very confronting after that's going to do something it's difficult or change the way they see the world, and if they have any reason to say no, if they can find any reason teo hold back and not engage with you, they may so let's get rid of the absolute completely. And then, of course, you're leaving room for other ideas you're saying, look, it seems like this is often what happens. You may consider trying it this way, and now all the different people in the room and all the different instructors, you're all working together to come up with as many solutions as possible for the people you serve that's an excellent, isn't it, though? I think so. So that's, how you crush your fears and overcome the critics? Nice work, amy, nice work, you thank very much. In our next segment, we are going to focus on mastering authenticity, one of the things that were told by the creative life producers and the tens of thousands of people who watch creative life is how important authenticity is to them. The instructors that resonate the most with are often the most authentic instructors. So we'll see you soon.