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Call to Action

Lesson 12 from: How to be Bold, Resilient & Better Than Ever

Tabatha Coffey

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Lesson Info

12. Call to Action

Next Lesson: Q & A

Lesson Info

Call to Action

So let's talk about really what we've gone over and recap and talk about the call to actions. So, who are you? I want you to take an honest look at yourself. And do it regularly because you change. So regularly doesn't mean like every week, you said who am I? (audience laughing) if you're changing that quickly, it would be a lot but it is taking a look and checking in, the more you do things like this, the more you get that feeling of something's just not sitting well with me, I'm just not sure and you check in with yourself and find out where you're at. Who do you wanna be? You have to constantly remind yourself of your goals. Remember that your critter brain is going to try and stop you. Fear is going to kick in and say halt, right, don't do this. So you have to constantly remind yourself of what your goals are and what do you need to do to be successful, right so what obstacles? Is it getting someone to take care of the kids? Is it taking Saturday afternoons for me? Is it hiring ano...

ther person to help me? What is it that i need to do to be successful? If you ask yourself what is standing in your way you can start to tick off those obstacles and sometimes you find out that nothing's standing in your way except for yourself. What is your purpose? What sets you on fire? What lights you up? What do you get lost in? What do you love? What do you want to do no matter what? It can be a couple of things, it doesn't have to be one thing. I believe that we have many purposes, right throughout. Sometimes its not even your job but its something you do for you that you love. Other people may not get it. It might be a hobby like knitting. Right, you crochet, you do something that you just love the feeling you get from it and you become lost in it. Identify the story you've been telling yourself, and then break down that narrative. Think about where it came from. Think about where you picked up those parts of yourself that you believe that you're not valuable or you can't have this. You know often when you start to really think about it, if you have issues with money and accepting money and holding on to money, sometimes it comes from those old expressions of money's dirty. Rich people are mean, only certain people deserve to have money. You know, they're the stories that some of us grew up with of people telling us that if you're rich you'll all of a sudden you're gonna be mean. Good people, spiritual people don't have money. Or money's a dirty thing. So, you don't hold on to it and have the value for it the way you should because of that narrative. You may not even be aware of it. But as soon as you start to think about what you tell yourself, start to look at some of those beliefs and the conversations that you have with yourself, you start to uncover where it came from and as soon as you've observed it, and you identify it, it is much easier to change it. Be your own best friend. Think about the way you speak to yourself. The actions that you do. If you are way down on the priority list. Is everyone else before you? What kind of self care are you giving to yourself? Pay attention to the words that you use when you speak about yourself, internally and externally. Right, the words that, the narrative that you're playing on yourself, I'm an idiot, I'm a failure, I'm never gonna do this, why even bother, no one's gonna love me, I'm never gonna have this, I'm scared. It becomes our self fulfilling prophecy. But also watch what you say to other people about yourself. And how you're using those words and how its forming the behavior because that is the one thing, is we always have a choice. Your self esteem. Ask yourself, if I liked myself more, how would my life be different? It's a really simple question. And it can have a really really impactful answer. And build your confidence, as I said, by taking regular inventory of your strengths and trying things, break out of that comfort zone. It doesn't have to be huge, it can be silly like I said, wearing color, right, when I don't. But, doing it, even though you know its going to be uncomfortable at first. Be courageous. Its a secret source. I promise you, it really is. So I wanna talk about some things that I do. And I mean, a million other people do, believe me, they're not just mine to work through all of these things. And then I wanna take some questions from everyone. I know, you guys have some questions for me. I'm sure we have some online as well. There's a few things I do. I journal. Very strange that I would even say that. I used to look at people that said they journaled and when I was a kid everyone had a diary and it was like a dear diary and I was like oh my god that's so weird. (audience laughing) I honestly love it. And it started as a way for me to write my thoughts down. And it was part to do list, honestly. And then part of just what was going on that day and how I was feeling. And the more I started to do it, the more it was a great map of when things weren't working and when things are and how I was feeling and what had happened that day. To keep track of myself. So, you have to find your own groove, you know. I, everyday, which is something else I do, I write down three things I'm grateful for, everyday. When you're having a really bad day, it can be sometimes really hard for people to find one thing they're grateful for. Your breathing. Right, that's something to be grateful for. Maybe its something as silly as the great cup of coffee you had. Or you're grateful that you can even write in a journal. But the more you do it, you start to look at the things that you're often grateful for. Are the really small things that mean the most to you and give you the biggest impact in your life. So journaling has been something that is amazing for me. I think, I'm not gonna tell you how to do it. Gonna tell you how I did and when I first started, it was a really uncomfortable process for me. It was just something that I wasn't comfortable with. And the more I have been doing it, and I've been doing it for years. Now, its enjoyable, its habit for me now. So its a great way to just get your emotions out and to give yourself a thread of how you're feeling, what's going on in your life, what could've happened in that day that is giving you those trigger points, to what's going on. Meditation. I know, I'm sure many of you already do it. Something that I really struggled with as well, really struggled with it. It's really hard for me to turn my brain off. And then what happened is I would beat myself up so I couldn't do it, so I'd beat myself up, and then I'd be like, oh fine, I'm just not gonna bother. My back hurt, can't sit here for this long 'cause my back hurts and then my bum hurt and then so I bought the chair. Then I sat on the chair and the chair was great. But then the mind kept going. So I had all of those things that kept going and I took all the expectations away and decided that what I really need and I believe that we all need this is to just sit with myself. Because we don't sit with ourselves, we sit with ourselves with the tv on, right? If we're alone, we might have music on or the tv on, or we're on our device and we're looking at something, we are distracting ourselves. We don't just sit with us. And it would struggle, some days, I would make it three minutes and that was a good day. I was grateful for that 'cause those three minutes felt like 40 hours (man laughs) But I just took the three minutes. And then the next day, I'd try for another three minutes and then I'd just kept trying. And kept going and now I meditate twice a day. Once a day at least when I travel, sometimes I can't get two but I always do one. And its just a way for me and again, this is just, I mean I know what I've been trying and what works for millions of other people obviously, it just centers me. It just lets me sit with myself and allows me to quiet my brain down so I can get all the snakes out of my head. I can turn that chatter off. Even if it comes up when I meditate, I just yeah its there, and push it away, I'll deal with it later, not right now because this is time for me. This is my time. And when you make that a priority, however you have to do that, it doesn't have to be meditation, it can be going to the gym, it can be doing a yoga class, it can be going for a walk, it can be whatever it is that makes you feel good. When you do that, and make yourself that priority, it does change your self esteem and you do start to feel calmer and things do start to change. And when we started that day and I asked who you were and I told you who I am, I'm rigid, I'm a creature of habit like most of us. You get stuck in your ways and I often feel because my job takes me to so many different places and I travel so much for work, and I meet so many people, that I can use that as the excuse and the introvert in me, oh well, I'm out there. I'm totally out there. And in some ways, its true, but in many ways its not. So I do things that break me out of my routine. I try something different, I go a different way. You know, I won't go to anywhere except the same stores. I try to go other places. I know these things are really small and really silly but when you have those issues of not liking change, any small change can be uncomfortable. It can be painting your toenails a different color. Right? Even though no one may see them, it can freak you out 'cause you know that these toes are hot pink and normally they're black and its kind of freaky (audience laughing) right? But that is again, a change that it makes you a little uncomfortable, it stretches that muscle, it gives yourself space to try something different. As humans, we're pegged in all the time, we don't have a lot of space. We're always like, we're on top of each other and entertainment's coming and information, like stuff comes at us in all these different directions. And, I feel like when you slow down and you do things like journaling, meditation, go to the gym, if that's what you like to do. Go for a walk, jump on a bike, go for a walk. Do something fun, go and take a painting class. Call a friend that maybe you haven't talked to in a while. Reach out, reconnect with people. Reconnect with yourself. It can start to quieten down the narrative in your head, start to change it and start to take some of the fears away as well. So a lot of the things that I do are looking at how I can reflect more and we'll talk more about this, I wanna take some questions. When you get to a certain age, and you get to a certain part in your career, and you're looking for a change, you wanna do things differently. And that's the part that I'm at so I've been looking at a lot of these things that I wish I had have done them when I was younger, and had the discipline to do them. And gotten to know myself better because in some ways, I think it would've been easier and maybe change things even more. But it really is about knowing who you are and we give that away so much now. We let everyone else tell us who they think we are or who we should be instead of just going, no this is who I am and that's totally cool, I'm good with it because we are all unique. And that's what we're meant to be.

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Ratings and Reviews

a Creativelive Student

Tabatha was a keynote speaker for our Fall Portrait Master's workshop. I was excited to listen to her talk, after watching her shows. She's honest, upfront, transparent and this course was amazing! I bought it for $29.00 but I would easily say it's worth the $89 dollar investment too! It's easy to follow, full of great inspiration, and moving your forward in your business, your life and in general. She's fabulous! I have watch this more than once, and her Keynote talk as well. Since listening to this I purchased her books (one audio) and she's in my ear frequently. LOVE her! I would have loved to have participated in her class. This isn't just for hairstylists either - it's for anyone who's looking to overcome what holds you back, how to move forward and move to a thriving successful empowered business.

Trevor Beattie

I had the pleasure and honour of participating in this class in person. Like all of you, I have enjoyed watching Tabatha for the last 10 years on television. We have all witnessed her steer and assist people in finding the direction and inner strength they needed to address their lives in a direct, honest, straight forward approach. This course gives you a small glimpse behind the curtain into what empowers, drives and has shaped this remarkable woman. It takes great strength, confidence and incredible courage to take a negative brand label like "bitch" and turn it into a symbol of pride and power. I was proud to join her on this introspective journey where she shares her life experiences and lessons to help each and every person find their inner power and silence their fears.

Tara Baxagocsy

I was lucky enough to be in the studio audience for this class (and then shocked when I was pulled up to be asked questions about my narrative!). This class was WAY beyond what I had expected. I knew it would be amazing because Tabatha is such a wonderful and effective mentor, but it was life-altering. She digs deep into self-awareness in an accessible way. She has innovative insight into teaching personal transformation and her honesty and vulnerability made this class better than any self-help book I've ever read or workshop I've attended. What a gift she gives to us all! Give yourself the most self-loving present you can and invest in this class! It's worth SO much more!

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