Being the Best Self Pt 2
A lot of all this ties back and health in love is investing in yourself and this is one of my favorite quotes and I think about this a lot and I thought about you guys a lot before I came live and it's something that when I'm doing things I'm like like if I'm doing what everybody else is doing in my business in other aspects of how am I going to get better than that and not about ego like I have to be better than but how am I going to get ahead like if you wanna business it makes money and you're doing what everybody else does how are you gonna get a better business? And so you have to be willing you know I was working out this was painful latin was monday um I call him mini arnold names garrett on he's like the difference between good and great is going through that last rep it was like when I was like, no, I'm done I really can't any mornings like this is a moment that you're focusing on that one percent it was when it was really uncomfortable and I was like, oh man, you know, like t...
his presentation I was like all I could've stopped it was uncomfortable but I kept going even until midnight last night updating it, making sure that it was really interesting and useful for everyone watching in the studio audience so how far are you willing to go? Are you doing whatever else is doing? You're gonna get the same results what does that mean? You know and so some of the things like that you know what? We talked about it like you guys watching live you're doing what ninety nine percent people are doing that's investing yourself and that's a really, really hard thing personal trainer eighty six dollars I paid that just to work out with the guy I play a therapist one hundred eighty dollars a week just tow have hey little doesn't really say anything I just talked to him then one eighty for this guy just to listen to me and repeat back what I said right and it's worth it it's an investment I spent three thousand dollars on a workshop last year I spent five hundred dollars on a conscious loving workshop in a lot more right investing your laptops, investing in things and a lot of people like our parents generation is I don't want to spend money spend being the key word right so a lot of it's easy to invest in a book and then put it to the side I think the number one investment I don't think I know because it what's the number one investment you could do ever what is it that room phonefriends? What is the number one investment you can do it always pay dividends invest in yourself bam how come you didn't get that audience? No, not even to be rude but that's the thing you invest in yourself best returns you can get so don't look at all the things you're doing is I have to spend money on this look, it is I'm investing in myself is it taking? Of course is it starting a business in honestly always buying a book to read, but maybe they may invest in myself and start a business education and your children as well, but yeah, yeah, exactly we talked about the tweet for books time and we're going to love we have ten minutes we're going to totally good so what is you know we did adam thing with pose and we have books that what is the one thing you can do to invest in yourself and take it seriously? Take it seriously, this is your chance and you're you know it's only up to you and we have some great books that will get so like mindless eating, we'll find him the books are mindless eating powerful engagement so you guys can write these down if you want to get him powerful engagement is about maximizing your energy mindless eating is about being aware of your eating for our body and chef by tim fares my boy on the power of habit and willpower which is how do you start creating positive habits for yourself? So the two great books posit habit in willpower, so tweet what's one thing you could do join a court join a gym by, of course from a sort of business navy monthly one k dot com upgrade your phone, which we're going to do with adam if you're on your phone and a computer all day and it's slow that's slowing you down how much return they're going to get when you just upgrade that or treat someone to lunch or taco delhi my fair taco place uh you know an investor yourself you have taken some of the lunch and getting a better relationship all right? We're gonna move forward to love I didn't realize you know when I adam and I start working mother, I didn't realize how much is it? What would affect me um and how much the people you're with bring you up take you down and if they keep it the same they're actually taking you down the same thing I was going to pull out the phones that has him if you are on your computer, pull out your phone this is my favorites when your last year I dated a girl who is a nice girl, a good girl but very negative and I noticed that I became more negative and I became more critical of people you probably you probably don't even realize maybe subconscious that who you're around impacts you you may not ever thought about that but if all your friends are starting businesses it's going a lot harder for you to start a business and we're gonna help you find other friends they're going to want to start a business with you um and so these are my favorites if you mean my mom is not on there I know I don't have anyone thinking that mom and I don't you call me enough it's fine uh these are the people that make my life better susan's in canada so I don't have her on their uh but she wasn't she lived in americans over there saying because somebody called you out on that where susan please know so susan was there but she's in canada I don't do their phones now I'm joking scott you know I get out it's not my skyscraper anyways what I want everyone to just take out their phones when they get home or if you're live right now take your phone and be like are all these people the people adding to my life? Who else do I need to add in there? Is it my husband that's awesome is he actually adding I don't get divorced in the hall it's no one's fault but uh think about it evaluated look at your friends there's a book called charged by brennan bouchard the whole book is ok, but the key thing I really liked is like, who is adding and who's taking away so these are the people all adding, adam anton guys, I worked with chad and you change on grozny um my brother and so it's good for you to explore it and the next thing I want you to do is who are two people in your life that aren't adding think about it take a second and while you think about it, I'll show it to my brother so I think I'm gonna think about it too. Does anyone have someone they want to share publicly media take anything right now there's everyone in your life there's no any person who don't indefinitely to a coffee meeting with who doesn't want it reaches out to and you're like man this guy's always taking me down or yeah, actually there don't say names ok, but tell us a little more about that now. He was a guy that I knew from kind of a former group of friends and he's now kind of resurfaced and every time I talk to him it's like that was the biggest waste of what time and he's like let's be for coffee or lets you know and it's and generally the conversation is negative and it's like I say things I don't even really want to say um and so I think one of the last times was probably about a month ago and I thought that guy at zero to my life as a friend yeah, well it is not I mean, not necessarily friend maybe yeah and that's hard yeah, and I did this myself where I went through the friends that are on that list or not and listens and who's not adding and I think one of the easiest ways that you can measure whether the people are adding is after you hang out with them, how do you feel there's certain people like adam and adam is unconditionally loving and unconditionally giving to me almost little too much sometimes and every time I hang out with them afterwards, I'm like I miss that guy or anton who's in the back room every time after I hang out with them, I miss him and I'm like, I'm so grateful he's in my life I'm so glad that he came and you know and he ended up going to someone who became close friends and so I want you guys to think, who do you hang out with that afterwards? You like I'm the same er dammit, I was tiring my energy is lower and I want you to just evaluate maybe removing them okay? So moving positively well how how the heck do you make new friends right so I just want we have about six minutes and we'll get into the good stuff but how do you make new friends and so I'll just tell you story something that's two years later finally was paid a reward and I didn't pay the reward but was like I met someone two years later it actually made us made it impact when I first moved to austin, texas, and I think one of the easiest hacks and things that you guys could do is bring people together be a hub the more that you are a hub in events for his mba for we'll talk about some of your business with being awkward that sounds weird to say like about attacking or in design the more that you are the hub more people look a few as an expert, the more business you will get and the more connections and relationships I don't like the word networking, the more relationships you'll be able to create so if you're doing w p curve dot com and you want to build a wordpress community, how could you facilitate helping people on wordpress from together or with food or some new with new adventure? Can you meet other people trying to start either in the monthly one k course or maybe something offline in san francisco? And so when I moved to austin I invited I find happy are they have the cheapest beers and I found anybody in austin I said I'm gonna pay for all the beers so even happier like a buck, right? I said invite everyone in austin and come together and I want to meet everyone and you're like, well, you know, you might know I didn't know that many people austin I probably had three or four and I said you invite everyone you know and then I want to meet ups and I went on, I need everything I could find and I message of one said, hey, free drinks come meet me so you could do it within your own respective circles you guys all have the ability to do this and I was but in my nicholas holland from tennessee taught me this and he said that what more you're a hub, the more people start looking to you and I put on this event I think about two hundred people came and it cost me maybe two hundred three dollars wasn't that expensive and because of that I've been able to have business partnerships with natsuno will make friends like josh baer from capital factory even recently I did a jerky experiment if you go to ap sumo dot com and enough, all of you have seen it, but if you got absolutely dot com slash sumo dash jerky, this is pretty interesting absolute not com slash sumo dash jerky you'll see that absolute dot com slash sumo I started a business in twenty four hours made a thousand dollars plus profit I didn't think about it till someone pointed out three the people who bought the jerky I met at that event two years later so I don't want you to go out and go, you know, business cards sledding yourself out but start adding value in creating real relationship fuels all right? Well, how do I do that know so maybe do an event guess what I did it for you go here facebook dot com slash groups called slash the team hot sauce I want you to go there I want you to post where you're from ever going right now. It's open go right now look at you I don't know where the camera is going you over their post where you're from what you're good at what you need help with three things three things okay three where you're from where you're from one thing you're good at and one thing you need help with and it's been shocking. You know, we did a retreat to seattle with that sumo and we started a facebook group just from the people together I think at a house we rented and those people have created such a relationship because there might be a long maybe there in iowa, whoever iowa's and they feel alone and having that camaraderie having another person that's facing a challenge or fear or another person starting a business and connecting them all together and finding just even one accountability buddy it is amazing the impact and so I want to provide a forum for all of you to connect find something that you're good at that you could help someone else with maybe find people in your town you find something that I can help this guy and someone else will be able to help you so we have a question that is from julie beam and I'm sure a lot of people feel the same way hunger I have the want to change but I lack motivation what do you suggest to get out of the limbo want change but I lack motivation but I wish she she's not here is she there what she wants is there yeah she's like a little screen what does she want to do? I will try to find that yeah I think what I found in terms of motivation um it's what? I'm not doing what I really want so let me give you a specific thing it's like when you were figure go back to the last time you were motivated and try to understand what happened there one heard her scream jelly bean is awesome so maybe just like jelly beans um but for me like I've actually found like I like doing online ad buying right and so when I find something I actually like and go back and figure out what other things that I liked in the past for this person go explore that because it was very it's very easily motivated when you're doing something you want and then figure out how do you start it on a small basis? What do you suggest noah for getting clear on what it is that we want so goodman earlier that if we don't know what we want okay, so there's two there's two ways of handling that so I I think that's a very common problem you guys face it I don't know what I want, okay? So all last year I felt like that when I was very depressed about it because I didn't really know what to do I went to india for god's sake to try to figure out you know, I sat with the people in caves right? And because I didn't know what I wanted to do and so I suggest to tactics do something anything small now do something I found a lot of the times in business I start doing things that other things start coming up and that generates momentum it generates some velocity, so what is something you could start? Can she do something today like set up in event? Could she reach out to someone? Could she go help someone for free what is something that you could do that would be that would be interesting for her to do today so that's part one see if anything comes of that that's what I did start small something here's the other one this is it's actually contradictory? Do nothing do I know it's weird right? Don't force it a lot of things like well even talk about it one of the guests I was going to have on uh alex today I was trying to force making it happen. I was trying to force this working for him coming in talking about w p curve, which I'm happy to mention um but it wasn't working, and I think a lot of the times, as susan said when it's not there don't force it, so if they both can work and so last year I didn't know what I wanted to do, and so I hired a business coach. I basically didn't I looked at everybody else but myself to answer it, and when I finally started just looking inward about what I wanted to do, it took some time it took a year and I didn't always just try doing things that didn't really help in that I stopped forcing it and then finally for me it dawned on me that all I've ever wanted do with up sumo was have fun and promote cool stuff and so those are the two things I would encourage for them. Just start doing things you never know. What's gonna happen. It gets momentum and get you out of your rut. You start feeling better about yourself, do something that makes you feel good at the same time, don't force it, don't force it, you know, take some time for yourself. A lot of times that I've noticed with people's. They distract themselves with alcohol, with drugs, with food, with bad friends, with traveling. And so I would challenge them to stay still and really explored out distraction, what they want to be doing.