Overcome Fear to Get What You Want

Lesson 3/10 - Guest Susan Su

 

Overcome Fear to Get What You Want

 

Lesson Info

Guest Susan Su

S o right now I want introduce you one of my closest friends her name is susan so you could find out susan su dot com this is me in india obviously that susan that's me ana the thing that's interesting susan wass one of the smart people I know very very fit went to stanford or to google or could absolutely not come with me and lived in like that others expected kind of similar uh to betsy where everybody's expecting things of her but what is it that she really wants and susan give up all those things to go to india and I want to follow her story now that you let her tell about sick we bring susan life hey hey you're on a big screen yeah I've been listening in loving so much how's it going is it pretty well yes I like your shirt by the way I can see it right now I can't see anything so for my text at it filed by spot your shirt earlier and good choice thank you. Yeah it was like ok anyways we'll talk about it afterwards girlfriend s o tell us a little bit who are you wait before we get ...

into the on track car I just want to comment on something that you said that was amazing I too have read the big leap because noah forced it on me by buying it for me on kindle and then it just, like showed up in my count one day, but one of things I love, that he talks about in that book is that when we encounter something bad, we basically turn tail and run because we think, oh, my gosh, this is the universe or god or life giving me a sign that I'm bad or I'm on the wrong path, but actually, what he's talking about is maybe that's a sign that you're on the right track because it's the value that comes just before the green meadow full of flowers. So yeah, just along those lines, I think we've been talking a lot about negative scripts that we've kind of taken on from childhood, and really, the thing to keep in mind is that some of these negatives groups can be super productive. I've andi it's, our job has grown ups to get past them, but also we don't know for let's go back, susan comeback hello, nice to meet you, everyone, this is susan so there's, one of my closest friends and and I talked about a little bit earlier. We'll talk about a little more in the love section, about having people in your life that make you better, and susan does that from age is one of the most special people I have in my life. On and know you are like you know what I'm down on its intended not feeling well it's like she's like oh you're awesome like this one yeah and so it's all of you guys should get your own susan's um in your lives so tell us a little about like the strip that was started with you so you were like, you know, from a little your childhood kind of someone who betsey's your parents expected lots of things as a group in an immigrant family we are chinese, chinese american and in my particular family there was a lot of messaging about what I am and the way I am is not good enough for sure like kind of overarching not good enough but also the specifics under that are too changeable, very fickle, unstable, unsafe headed for something bad unless and then that's when the conditional stuff kicks in and that sort of like, you know, it's the stick method as opposed to the carrot method of success and actually, you know, I can't blame my parents too much because to some extent it really worked well for their paradigm they grew up in a really unstable time in chinese history and for them life was all about achieving stability, so of course they have a kid like me and they want to make sure that I have to say I'm able to access that same kind of stability well the way they raised me sure I was on a track to wonderful stability as no invention and I went to stanford I had a nice cushy corporate job at google and then after that I even like got better jobs my career kind of really took off from there but all the time inside I felt really, really deeply unhappy on dh yes so the prescription the prescribes scripts for my parents were definitely just all about um you know, you gotta work hard and I think people are about to take things away from you the world is going to take things away from you protect what you have and don't change so what were you physically right now? I am in the town of nelson, british columbia, which is kind of due north of spokane washington it's sort of like a little santa cruz flash boulder of canada does anyone I don't know anyone know where nelson british columbia is really people I think most men tony nor candidate you know I mean, you know, the general it's up there way protect them with our armies and they're not really nice people I love kitty and friendly people I know um and so how did how did the story go from your working great corporate life? Was that a company that got sold for millions of dollars two ending up in nelson, british columbia river that it's well um you know, I think I just kind of reached a point where it was like I know it was always in me andi I've always been like this weird combination of very obedient and very rebellious and the rebellion just took took over the rebellion one out after a certain time so I was actually working with no add up sumo and I decided you know what it was it had come to a good kind of turning point in the company and I went back to san francisco student a little remote work for a while but I realized wow this is first of all absolutely was an amazing team of people noah did a great job with the company and even better now I really so so admire him as a leader and just as a person okay but I could just feel I could just feel it was not a match and so how did you make her and so what is the next like highlight? Because we only have about fifteen minutes and I definitely have about two minutes more with you. Um so what is the highlight reel? So how did you make a decision to leave san francisco and what did you do next to end up in nelson? I come in, tom I went to india I signed myself up for a ten day deposit of course which I did first thing when I when I landed it's really, really hard the possible means not talking for ten days, right? Yeah it's ah you're basically meditating you're sitting in meditation for eight to ten hours a day not talking anybody can do it I mean my friends sixty year old mom recently did one for the first time in florida so yeah it's accessible to anybody it's totally secular and it's based on the buddhist teachings for how he reached and helped other people toe reached greater peace and even enlightenment just by kind of observing but not reacting to the things that you're experiencing and then so what did you want to get out of that experience? And then how did you end up in nelson today? I wasn't really sure I just knew that my mind was full of agitation and badness and I wasn't happy and I thought, well, what if I got to lose? I'm just going to try it I kept having people tell me about it and I had really ignored those calls to go for many years and then I thought, well now's there's no time like al there's no lower point that now might as well try it on dh so I went to india did the course and then I actually I've been practicing ashtanga yoga her years now and my teacher told me about his teacher this wonderful, angelic six year old man in india name role so I went to go see roles I went to go practice with roles and I've meant to stay one month but one thing led to another I met my current partner and I ended up staying five and a half months um he's canadian we ended up traveling to a bunch of different places including istanbul, other places in turkey, the yukon in canada where he was teaching all summer and now we're in nelson together just taking a little break checking it out it's cool town and we're going to be back in san francisco in the fall but the real overarching lesson to all of this is that it's kind of letting go so much control that I was trying tio enact on my life for my entire life so if you, uh well, that was not you could feel chill it off with that yeah the I mean it's hard because you know, I don't want to just hope that I get a business and I get a relationship and and those kind of things you know it's like well, I hope so what girl comes to my door and is the one I'm gonna marry, right? I haven't that hasn't happened yet um I hope this business just magically happens I hope my relationship great, so if you had to go back to you know susan you know, maybe season working corporate like a lot of people are not having the job they want what kind of things would you be advising yourself? What kind of things you say you know trust yourself let things get like what what would you go back to tel five years ago? Susan when you asked me this before you something the notes that my first thought was to tell her don't worry but then I realized we tell ourselves don't so much ah and actually all my entire life growing up I just heard don't from my parents don't do this don't touch that don't go there don't x y z don't everything and so don't worry is just another version of that wolf I don't worry what am I supposed to do? What if all I know how to do is worry what I like what I'm serious place worrying with something productive and so I really reflected on that and I thought, you know what I would tell her is you have all the time in the world you sitting there in your corporate cubicle on google you are in the exact right place you need this right now everything's going to be okay and you can start again at any time it's up to you last part just one more time that was very powerful you can start again at any time it's up to you ah well, what I think is there anything else you want to add? Uh that was great. Ah, no, but if anybody wants to get touched me just come find me on my website or through noah he knows all the ways free to me. Um and I'll be around in the chat room for a little bit so we can maybe connect more here what you guys have toe say and reflections perfect. Thank you. It's susan su dot com and everyone I'll put it up put your heads together. Thank you, susan for joining us. Thank you. Wow. So I don't have to live the life that was subscribed for me supposed to get it go to a good school supposed to have a job and I think what susan did which is inspiring for me is start questioning that do I really want to have this job? Do I really miss was to have a partner right now and be married right now and that's something. You know, we spent months probably years talking about who's the right partner. When is he going to come? And when she finally let that go she's now with one of the, you know, the greatest partner that she's ever been with when we started absolutely we promoted other products and everyone could ask me how I started these businesses so we created of course it's how to make a thousand dollars a month course you can find it at monthly one k dot com and I spent about a year just helping people start businesses and practice before even made the course and I was like well here's how you get an idea here's how you validate and here's how you grow it and the most shocking thing though was how afraid everyone is they're afraid of asking they're afraid of the rejection they're afraid of not being good enough they're afraid of feeling stupid they're afraid of it's it's succeeding but it should be more success and it was shocking to me how much people would really needed to practice failure and being able to overcome failure and so through that and this honestly I was at a depressed stage when I made a lot of the stuff in the course I will add failure and a failure olympics um to the course and this is not something I thought would be anything it was just kind of more of a goof and we added it called the coffee challenge and the coffee challenge is very simple and everyone could do it everyone can do it you go up to starbucks or a few hundred coffee you go up and get a team or you go up to your wherever you're going to go maybe the gas station daily coffee because it's pretty ubiquitous and all you do is ask for ten percent off is easy right it's super is my brother my brother is named seth uh oh oh yeah bro it's easy jay z does shoulders off I was like he was acting like it was nothing and so we went on his birthday and we're in gilbert all right seth it's it's it's game time coffee challenge okay separates that I was like that's what's up ana and so what I want to challenge everyone here and so why do it why even do it it's not about getting ten percent off I don't care if you get ten percent or no percent one hundred percent off the point is facing a fear getting failure and realizing life still goes on in an absolutely dot com that happens all the time and your businesses as well when we're helping people on how to make first how to make a thousand a month business happens all the time practicing it especially with like the coffee challenge will make everything better in life I can't tell you how you're going to feel can't tell you what you're going to learn you have to actually do it yourself so what I want to do is during this break I want have one person from the studio audience go out and do the coffee challenge and come back who here feel who here would be scared of that or who here feels uncomfortable asking uh or putting themselves out there for rejection yeah so can you get on stage is first we have a few more minutes and what we're gonna do this is the interesting part I like your girlfriend all right? You're showing that you don't know. So how do you how do you feel about asking for just going out? How does that make you feel? Um I'm just afraid of you know them being micah huh? No you know, um well look at me like I'm weird or just a rejection that the rejection part yeah, I feel like I'll be embarrassed embarrassed what happens if you get rejected? Um nothing probably and so the script that you guys can use their use hi. Can I get ten percent off today? Why no one told me to ask that's it that's it you don't have to make it more complicated that a lot of times negotiating you say it state it will be like there's no, uh he's a guy that has of course and you see how that goes so what we're gonna do is you can tell us a little uncomfortable it's a little weird there's a whole foods across the street is going to go after the ten percent off they want a lot you might need a coffee, anything anyone know? Okay, we're kind like skinny lattes sure okay, so we'll get you five bucks you can go do that and then bring back the receipt in the coffee and we'll see how it felt. Okay, all right footer ends together for sean thank you. Guys were like the lightest clapper's he doesn't like over now let's get a good look like clapper together for a shot thank you. Thank you and I encourage everyone to go do that as well. One of the thing we've we've come up with the just stranger challenge dot com where you print out a sign um I called you know I don't know this person and you go up to a random stranger and you see if a new face of fear practice it overcome it realized life will keep going on s o if you guys are bold enough and you want to keep practicing some failure, go and do the stranger challenge I'm not perfect I'm successful to whatever you got going to find you guys needed to find your own levels of success whatever that is to you you need to find what do you really want and what things am I going to do on health wealth and love to get their, um and everything is connected so if you guys start working on yourself today that's how things are going to start getting better the question chanel asks and visit understanding the generation wires have this false sense of identity and thinking we are awesome and a guy to change the world so where does the line get drawn when we need to be realistic or follow our dreams and parts uh it's tricky it's straight I don't you know I think what everyone really needs to do is what they want right like people have different aspirations so I don't have an aspiration you know when I was a younger kid and still a kid now I was going to change the world I was going to a billion dollars right and then someone I wish I remember who it was I said noah, how many people did you change to change the world don't like a million eyes that about right? And and it dawned on me during that discussion that it's one person right and so there's not a right or wrong answer if you really want if your goal and what you truly believe in yourself is that I want impact a lot of people in health like adam does with me I actually really get a lot of satisfaction with like the monthly one k dot com course seeing people have a business they want because I've had my my parents that my mom doesn't really like her job all the time and I'm like I want to fix that for the world I want everyone to go to work like it whether it's corporate whether it's for yourself, whether it's is an employee whatever that is on so there's always people exploring what they really want an impact in the world their own ways like I'm all for that do we have any questions in our studio audience cool you guys have been amazing so far so what is your so yes that that question was definitely coming up between what's the thin line between overcoming fear and being optimistic I think one of the key things that a lot of people need to remind themselves is that when you have this big audacious goal of I want to change the world, I want to do all this stuff I really would say it starts somewhere right even with the business you're like well facebook's big google's big mike says big doesn't they all started small and so if you want to change the world, change it and start with one person it just like I always do the analogy of a fire like they're an eagle any other eagle scouts out there any of the nerds jewish mothers ok um the point being is that it's really hard to start a fire if you will change the world with a lighter and a big log if you want to change the world, you start with some killing just like and you build up your fire and that and that's what I would encourage people to do so excited to see what happens with russia over coffee challenge on highly encourage, like you said, those were out there online to go do this as well. Come back and report I love what we're seeing in the chat rooms, people over five hundred fears that people over reported tell us about what we're going to do when we come back no s o if you haven't tweeted what you're scared of, we're going to be giving away a bundle of four books as well. So make sure you guys tweet you're scared of hashtag no alive uh, the second part of the day, we're gonna be working on yourself so we this first part, we kind of talked about some of the fears practice some of the fears now we're gonna go a little bit deeper into your health and your love. So how do you improve yourself and exercise eating your energy levels and in the relationships you have and we will actively do it together and the whole second half of the day, we're going to focusing on your wealth. So how do you get in the right? My mind psychology for starting a business? And then we'll start some live businesses today, yeah, I mean there's an incredible mood online right now for everybody, he is fantastic. This is a whole community discussion of depression. There's, a community that's, people helping each other online. And I wanted at the loving, susan's energy. They're loving your energy. And dan, notorious omg has online declared september twenty six dan day. Yeah, online and run online is going with it. And that is just fantastic! Thank you so much.

Class Description

Fear holds you back. Fear of failure, fear of success, fear of what you don’t know: these potential threats to your status quo can cripple your confidence and make you avoid the unknown. In order to realize your dreams, you must first learn how to confront your fears.

Join prolific entrepreneur Noah Kagan, creator of appsumo.com, for a workshop on moving past fear to get what you really want. Noah will teach you how to see what is holding you back, explain how fear manifests physically and psychologically, and reveal his own battles with fear.

Whether you want to start your a business, take your relationship to the next level, or go skydiving, this course will help you identify the steps you need to take to break through what you’re afraid of and claim the life you want.

Reviews

Tanya McGill Freeman
 

Absolutely awesome! As usual, and congruent with everything Noah does, he delivers wayyy beyond your expectations with this course. Noah is uniquely brilliant at understanding what it takes to be wildly successful in today's world of entrepreneurialism, AND he's gifted at being able to teach what he knows to others in a way that's simple, easy for them to grasp and take swift action on. On top of everything, he never fails to deliver his content/lessons with genuine presence, warmth and light-hearted humor. Yes...biz can be FUN, especially with Noah. I can't recommend this course and his other work enough. If you want to learn from someone who truly cares, he's your guy.