Assertivism: Live to Your Fullest Capacity
and from today number wear on the last day rocket they wear on Day 10 assertive ism We've learned a lot saying actually gonna wait till the end It's our last day to review what we've learned and I'm just gonna dive right into our goals today. Time for some moxie. We're gonna add some spice to some of the happiness we've learned. I've been keeping it tame for you guys but today we're gonna spice of bring up the heat a little bit. I want to put some power behind your happiness This classes, after all, called the power of happiness. Let's put some of that behind it. I'm also gonna be talking about your happiness plan, right? We've been talking about a lot of ideas. How are we gonna prioritize? What are we gonna prioritize? How do I want this class toe last forever for you? Of course. I have a warm up as always at home. I love you to bring out your workbook or you don't have the workbook yet. Just bring out a blank piece of paper because the warm up today is a film. The blank and this is a...
fill in the blank that I try to ask myself at least once a year, typically on New Year's. Actually ask myself this question. These This is a weight, a kind of access, are hidden dreams. So a lot of the times we talk about big goals. We talk about things we've always wanted. But I think underneath it all, sometimes we get these little seeds of desires seeds of wants, hidden dreams that drive our decisions. And this is trying to unearth some of those. So in the audience at home. If I were to say, if you were to say someday, I'll what just pops into your head for that phone, the blank in the audience, anything pop into your head. Bigger? Small? Yes. So they'll write a book about me, all right? Yes. Someday I'll write a book about me, so I actually, this is just my personal pain. I think everyone has a book in them. I've written a couple books. I have my big one coming out in April. That process of writing a book is one of the most amazing things I would hope that most people might have. There's three bullets here, right? Doesn't have to be just one thing. Many other people have that writing a book. Yes. Okay. Can I ask what you're waiting for? The courage to do it. But I I have friends who have done it, and they say, OK, it's off my bucket list. But it was a great experience to do it. So maybe that could be one of your quest. Quest? Definitely. You can get an expert to think about that. I like that one. Yes, they speak five different language. How many speak right now? So right now I know a little bit off those $5 I want. Yeah. So to off them is kind of good. What? The other trees, like intermediate and beginners. All right. So someday you'll master all five isn't really good. Any others? Yes. I will be a household name in changing the face of health and wellness. I love it. Okay. And that's a really suited one. Which is that your mission statement, or is it a different mission? Like a tangential intentional. Okay. Perfect. Any others? Yes. Someday I'll go to Iceland and look for elves thighs. Landing population believes in elves. So And I think you should go look for them. That's a really good. That's definitely I hope that's gonna be request. I think that else defining mission is really good. Okay, so this warm up is specifically for today because we're gonna be talking about quests. One of the things, one of the most interesting parts of the research that I found And this is actually one of the first kind of take away points that I learned was the opposite of happiness is actually not unhappiness. So the opposite of happiness is also not anger, which we talked about last time. Anyone guessed with the opposite of happiness is yeah. Oh, oh, that was really good because she do not. You do not see those slides a forehand as silly, right? So the opposite of happiness is not unhappiness. It's not depression. Its not anger. It's indifference, timidity, passivity, letting life happen to us every single day. Throughout this course, I've tried to give some new way of telling you grab life by the hair. Uh huh. And take it where you want to take it, right, like it's about having a more assertive lifestyle. It's about telling people what we want, what we need. It's about having people in our life who truly nourish us. It's about asking for the things we need and setting up boundaries that we need. That's where happiness comes from. So today I'm going to be fighting timidity, passivity and apathy. And I love this quote. Tackiness begins at the end of our comfort zone, which is also about that strength, that power and you cannot separate happiness out. Talking about power. It was also the science behind this is pretty clear. This is called self determination theory, which I don't think is nearly a sexy as assertive ism. But we'll go with it so self determination theory. People are happiest when they're able to make their own choices very similar. That controlled a day for that we talked about specifically, we feel most satisfied. Remember how we talked about goals for the course and life fulfillment was one of those goals that ties in right here, where the most satisfied we feel we have great self mastery over our life. So I titled Day number two mastery because I was just starting to hint at this idea that we wanna have ownership over our skills and self mastery is a very specific kind of concept. So in your workbook, I have a self master questionnaire now at home. Ah, we actually sit down and take this right now. I gave the audience a little bit of lead time on this. I had them do this exercise for us. So while you're doing it at home, we're going to do a little bit of it together. So can you get your cards ready for me, please? So, a couple of the questions the lower your score, the more self master you feel in your life. The higher your score, the less control you feel you have. Okay. This was not developed by me. This is developed by the people who looked at self determination theory. I had difficulty with the control pillar to anyone in here. Feel like they had difficulty with that. So agree, disagree. Interesting. Okay, I've almost totally flipped. Totally mixed. How about I have little control over the things that happened to me? People feel, agree, disagree. Okay. Mostly disagree. And you guys were in here, right? So you feel like you're brought yourself in here. Sometimes I feel that I am being pushed around in life. Sometimes I feel like I'm being pushed around in life a little bit more mixed. So before we get into this, how was that self mastery quiz for you? Anyone surprised by their number? I won't ask you a number thing that's actually quite personal. Anyone surprised with what they got yet? Happily surprised. So sometimes taking those quizzes shows you that you actually know what you know, right? Like you are owning it. And you're taking that self mastery. I like it. Yeah, it was interesting because I've taken this before and to to remember the way I felt taking it before. Now it's like I just don't even recognize that I idolize. Keeps guessing like I really like. Yeah, I know, I know. Yeah, like it's just Yes. So remember that I talked about this before I built this course to retake. Right? So at home, you have a digital copy of the workbooks. Hopefully, you printed it out. If not, you did online. You can go back in a year and retake all these things and compare them to the first time you took it. Because your answers will change. In fact, I hope that after you take this course, you will be able to answer this question these questions much more easily and have a much lower score. So this brings me to as anyone who ever read this book by brawny wear so brawny. Where is, Ah, nurse who helped people in the last moments of their life? So right is there about to pass? And what she did is she realized, after talking to so many patients and their families that they tended to express regret over their life, and they were talking about their life. And after talking to many of these patients, she realized there was patterns. And so she wrote a book, which is called The Top Five Regrets of the Dying. It's a beautiful book, and I wanted to read the top five regrets that she found most of us have at the end of our life, because I don't want us to have those regrets. If you're taking this course, I don't want you to have a single regret. Number one. I wish I had had the courage toe live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me. So this is number one. It was also Day one. So in day one, we talked about the chart of happiness. And I had you rate activities in your life. I The first thing I said was Don't should on me, right? Don't give me the number that you think or hope you should have. Give me your real number. And that is because when you know exactly what makes you happy, you're much more likely to tell people. Nope. I can't do that. I'm going to do that for me. Right? So this is about trying to live the life that we want. The purposeful life. Second, I wish I hadn't worked so hard. So most of the day is the power of happiness. Had to do with play fun, trying new things, happiness experiments, cause I love work, you know, provides us with a lot of things. I get a lot of joy from my work as well, but I think play is just is important. Three. I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings. The other aspect of this course is I had you express a lot of feelings, right? I hope they were out of your comfort zone a lot of this course. Maybe at home you were like, Oh, that's a big question And that is because I do believe happiness begins the end of our comfort zone. But I also know that's a huge regret. And the more we can get deep and have substantive conversations, the better we feel for I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends. So number seven when I had you identify those different people in your life for your Sangha and who popped into your head who was supportive, who made you think, Who did you want to bring? More happy since your life? I think that keeping those friendships alive takes a little bit of work, right? Just like with happiness, we assume that will sort of be taken care of. Friendships need tending to. And so I hope that you can also think about tending to those friendships. Lastly, I wish that I had let myself be happier. Have This is a really interesting one. I wish I had let myself be happier. This ties into that idea that we don't let ourselves get excited right where we have a little celebration or something feels good or taste good or looks good. And we're like, Yeah, yeah, Stay calm, keep it together. But I wanna let ourselves get happy. That's also part of it. All of this comes together. Everything we've learned in this course, all five of those regrets come together into this idea. But I want you to claim light the life you love and lived to your fullest capacity and is letting yourself lived to your fullest capacity. So what What is assertive is a mean. Basically, it means this one being assertive with your happiness, knowing exactly what makes you happy and asking for it. Knowing is only the first step right, asking for it and making time for in your life. That takes a little bit of assertive ism. Second, being assertive with your feelings, right? So saying to someone, this makes me feel great. Let's do more of it. This makes me feel terrible. I don't want to do it at all. It is scary to ask what we truly feel asserted with your time and your people on these do go together. I talk a lot about this in master people skills about nourishing people, places and things and toxic people places and things. When you look at your chart of happiness there, people involved in that and you spend time during certain things. I want to make sure that you are assertively claiming spending time with people who fuel you, not people who drain you. I'm in. The best way to end this course is with a very big idea, and this is the idea of a quest. So a quest is a life adventure with a clear mission and goal driven by purpose. So this is not a mission statement. This is not a career goal. It is a life adventure. And I borrow this idea from my good friend Chris Gilboa. So he wrote. And if anyone's read the book The Happiness of Pursuit. But he is a big fan of quest. This is part of your happy reading list, and I'm gonna give you some of the steps for a questing lifestyle. So quick quote courage comes through achievement, but also through the attempt as I worked my way through country after country, this is Chris Gilboa talking, regrouping at one of the many stops along the way that felt like second homes, I become more optimistic about my chances of success the final year of the journey, I felt unstoppable. One of things I've been trying to teach this course is that the means is more important than the end, right? So when we quest, it's not about achieving that life goal. It's not about writing that book or finishing that career retiring. I want us to enjoy the actual process in the way that we do. That is by having inventor daily life by working towards some kind of goal that fuels just our happiness, not our career, not our income, not our bank account, just us. That is the goal of the quest. I also believe that quest create momentum. So when I talk about upward spirals, we've been talking about little moments, right? Wow, having using your mastery skills feel incapable, feeling responsible. I think that every day where we get up and we know that we're working a little bit towards a bigger goal, it creates momentum and other areas of our life, and that's what I want us to create here, this bigger kind of momentum. All of these things have already happened. Mastery, small winds, experiments sang in anticipation. I've been leading you up to trying to pick this one big goal. So what kind of quest semi talking about here? And this could be anything here, to some examples, learning to cook one meal from every cuisine, learning how to speak perfectly. Five different languages is a good one. Reading a different Wikipedia entry every day for a year. That would count as a quest, photographing 200 different types of birds. Walk every block in New York City. There, in 121,000 of those, take a vow of silence every year. That's my quest, actually, so I do a vow of silence every year. I'm a talker, obviously. So it's very challenging for me to do of Allah silent. That's one of my many quests in the workbook. I have what I call a questing worksheet. So if you want to pull out your workbook for me and turn to the area that says questing worksheet, this is where we're gonna actually start the process of trying to develop your big quest. The very first thing that we're gonna learn is your drive. So when you're trying to think about this big quest this big life adventure. We want to start just like when we talk about your cause champion. And by the way, your cause. Champion, Your quest can be very similar. Tied together. I want to start with those kernels of excitement. That's why we started with someday I'll at the very beginning. Storm exercise. What have you been waiting to do? What if x y z happened? What if I had all the money in the world? What if I had all the time in the world? I wanted to start with those values or those drives. I love this quote by John Shed. A ship is safe and harbour. But that's not what ships were built for. We were built for much more. Think about your quest, everyone. Then go out your quest. You can start going to the activities if you want. This is the big question that we're trying to answer for a quest. What are you waiting for? I already asked that question once Today during the warm up, when he said that you wanted to skydive or jump out of a plane. Specifically, we are often waiting. I asked us early. Are you waiting? Are you looking What have you been waiting for? What have you been just tapping off in the future when I finished school. When I finish when I have a family. What? All these Wen's no more when than mindset sort of visit is about getting rid of that. So, in your workbook I have under your drive, we have fill in the blank. So what excites you? What have you been waiting to do as well as a couple fill in the blank areas in your workbook. For you, this is an intensely personal deep dive. By the way, I want you to take some time with ease, So fill in the blank. We're gonna have a couple of different verbs here that might spur on some ideas. Requests I have collect, Champion. Right? Read. Right. Those are gonna help you get specific about your quest. The second thing I want you to think about is your mission. This could be a happened with your cause, Champion. Actually, day number six when we talked about that was a warmup for this day. What do you want to accomplish? What's your goal? How will you know when it's achieved? So I do want you to pick something that's not necessarily career related. Like I think this is different in your mission. Statement. The question. Be an adventure. However, I think that your quest can have to do with your success, right? So me taking a vow of silence every year allows gonna be more introspective. Makes me a better listener, and that makes me a better teacher. That makes me a better writer, not specifically having with my career, but it makes me better at what I do. So I want to think of what you think about where your legacy goals and we talked about eulogy building activities. How does that tie in here and specifically, the most important part of a quest is it is measurable. So unlike so if I were to say, I want to be successful right, that's a pretty good thing. But that is not measurable, saying I want to visit 30 different countries in the next year. That is a very measurable thing. So then Step two of this is taking your quest idea and adding numbers to it. What you're going to do by what dates and I do want to have a time limit on it. Right. So what, you're gonna dio? And by what date, for example, you have doesn't have to be huge. Huge. Read 12 New York Times best sellers by the new year. Right. That would be a mini quest. Do every hike in my city in the next six months. Finish every challenge in this course in the next 60 days. Right? That can be a quest. The third thing. Now we're gonna get into the action steps. So the first stage is kind of brainstorming and dream storming and you'll see I have a lot of fillings in the workbook for you. Same with your mission area. Now we're gonna get into the specifics of how do we achieve it too? It's not just a a wish, but actually practical. How much time and money will you need for this quest? Is it free? Could you get all library books? You know, all New York Times sellers from the library that costs nothing, Or is it a trip? Part of your quest is gathering the time, the money and materials for the quest. So if your quest is to sail around the world, your quest actually doesn't begin When you step on the boat, your quest begins. The moment you write it down and researching what kind of boat you're gonna use and trying to set aside a saving the school in a new savings account in your bank, your quest actually begins. Then what do you need to do? First is the other thing that I want you to dio is once you get into the pursuit section is we're going to start to write down action steps. What is the very, very first thing to do? So I have this big chart in your workbook. You'll see that I think for me it's on page 79 but printed it might look a little different. I have all the steps for this quest, just like how we did the Russian doll to do list. You're gonna do that. So I taught you that earlier going to the exact same thing for your quest. So if it was sail around the world may be, the very first thing would be to get a library book on sailing right like that would be a really good first step. Second step would be finished the library book on sailing right, So breaking it down into those little baby steps, remember that those steps are part of the joy. The happiness is in the pursuit. The happiness is taking that step and crumpling it up and throwing it across the room. So each of those steps on your pursuit list are part of your happy checklist. After this course at the end of a long day, quests give you a second wind. Netflix does not. So once I started to incorporate the idea quest in my life and I've done a couple of them, I found that at the end of a long day when I was totally exhausted and I would have said, I have no energy for anything doing one or two steps on my quest to do list gave me energy. It was way better than a nap. It was way better than a hike. It was way better than Netflix. And so the reason why I wanted to do these things because I think their energy creating they get you out of funks. They're way more productive than naps, and they're the best kind of to do list some quest ideas. Let's get some of those questioned idea juices flowing. Try a week of extreme fill in the blank so quest could be short, right? They could be seven days something. So I tried a week of radical honesty. Uh huh, Yeah, that was radical. So try a week of extreme something extreme Nice, extreme curiosity doing a valve silence with me. You're welcome to do a valve silence of me. I put them on my twitter every time I do them. So fill in the blank for extreme. That's only seven days. It's a great little warm up. Happy Booklist. I gave you a Booklist. Maybe your quest is reading all the books on that list or two of the books on that list you're learning bucket list. So I already started to get these juices flowing when I was asking you, What did you wanna learn? So maybe it's learning how to speak a different language. Maybe it's learning how to take how to make the perfect sushi rice right, Allah hero James of sushi. So maybe it's something when you're learning bucket list that you can master the number, the more specific, the better. So it's not just I want to learn to speak French. It's I want to learn to speak French and pass the French fluency test within a year, Right? You want that? Or maybe it's I wanted people to have five dinner conversations with five people in each language, right? That would be a really specific one to prove what is speak really well mean right out or adding that measurement on there. Your cause champion in your gratitude, totem or your gratitude or doing a gratitude trip. So maybe there is something you could do a big project conduced by raising a certain amount of money. Your cost champion, by starting a new project project for your cause. Champion I knows make amazing quests this course and workbook. Here's the good news. You're on Day 10. You already finished your first quest, right? You finished it? Yeah. So your first quest was coming here every day and finishing all 10 days. You did it. That was your first quest. It's already done. That is how easy and hopefully fun it is. So you can also do courses as little mini quests as well. Brian Williams. A person starts dying when they stopped dreaming. The goal of questing is just to get you dreaming bigger. That's it. I think we sometimes Onley dream in those four minute miles We don't realize weaken, go so much further and so much faster Quest, spring control, which we know is great for happiness Quests give us identity. So here's here's the interesting part about questing. So I had a couple of students now finished the requests from our beta version. A lot of them are still in them on what they've told me is that when you have a quest, yes, it gives you purpose. But it's amazing how other people see you. So when you go to a party in your like, yeah, my goal is to visit all 50 states next. By the time I'm 40 people get excited for you right there, like oh, what states have you done so far? Oh, you know what? If you go to Idaho, I have a cousin there. He owns a brewery. You should try to stay in his upward upstairs loft. So actually questing as a kind of secret people skill. I talked about how hard it is to come up with conversations, how hard it is to have really interesting conversations with new people you meet. Quest is the best conversation starter you could possibly imagine. People get excited for you. They text you ideas for your quest. When you see them, they check in with you. It's another way of asking the world. Remind me about my quest. I also want you to use it as a way of creating your own identity, telling people what you're standing for, what you're working towards. And Quest Spring Hope, as we remember from that science study that that hope and curiosity are to the biggest contributor emotions for happiness. And we're hopeful about a quest, a vacation, learning something. It gives us so much happiness. I have a ton of quest ideas in our virtual toolbox. I have videos of other people's quest they've completed. So if you sign up at science people dot com slash 21 you can get some more quest ideas as well. I'm curious. Well, let's take some temperature in the crowd. So who's going to do a quest and who is still a little nervous who still needs a little bit of convincing from me? Oh, yea, okay. Feel hot. A green. Yeah, Yeah, I like it. That's good. I feel like I had a lot more convincing slides, but I can go over those quickly. I want to convince you. So a couple of things here, I built this course to be rewatched. I've said that almost every day. And the reason for this is because a lot of people think of happiness like a one time shot, right? Oh, yeah, I did that course done done for years. That's like going to the gym, doing a really intense weight lifting session and being like buff forever, right? If you want to stay in shape, you continue to go to the gym. If you want to keep your happiness and check, you keep doing happiness exercises. So here's how I want you to reuse this course over and over again. My recommendations on your birthday. I would highly recommend Rewatching Day six at war and or Day two. The reason for this is because if you're looking for birthday or gift ideas, Day six renewing your pledge thing. If you can ask for cause champion things instead of birthday gifts, the best way to start a birthday there is no better way than opening up your birthday and thinking about gratitude and giving back there is just no what better way to start the year. It's also great for getting those gifts you also might want to re watch day to. So I feel like birthdays or kind of new beginnings. You know, you're like, I'm gonna take that class. I'm gonna sign up for that thing. I'm gonna ask for help in people buying me this class. So Day Two on mastery might be a good time to reassess your skills, Right? Checking in on that skill chart and seeing I did, I go from 3 to 4 that I go from 4 to 5. It's wonderful to check progress on your birthday. Feels good. New Year's. I highly suggest you watch Day one on New Year's right day. One new beginnings. This is when you re look at that chart of happiness in your workbook, and you're like, Do these things still make me happy? Starting January 1st? Do I want to continue having these people or these activities in my life? News resolutions? I feel like building your New Year's resolutions off of this chart is the best way to start the year. I will also be doing on time. People knew years posts, talking about your chart of happiness. You're also welcome to check us out, and I can give you some new ideas for your chart of happiness on nears. You also might want to consider watching Day four right starting new routines and new habits. Everyone on New Year's Day says themselves, I'm going to start a new diet, right? I'm going to start a new exercise plan. So day four and or Day nine, What can you minimize? What can you maximize? What rituals do you want to set up for the new year? Nice thing about that, by the way, for the New Year's Day is other people are willing to start new things to. So if you want to minimize something at work or you want to maximize something in your home, you can say, Hey, you know, New Year. Let's try this new thing. I've been thinking, you know, you go to your boss, you say, you know, I was sitting down and reviewing my year, and I realized it would make me much more productive if we could try this. Everyone else is also much more willing to work through your new ideas on that on that time as well. On a bad day, please bookmark and save or download rewatch Day three play Pull out your place storming chart. You're in a funk. You're having a bad day or like things is not working for me. Played a is the best day for that cause it reminds you of your options on bad days. I don't know about you, but I feel like I am hopeless, right? I'm like nothing will make me feel better become a witch, you know? And so when I look at that place storming list, I'm like, Oh, yeah, Oh, I really wanted to do that. I wanted to go to that own aromatherapy thing. I wanted to go do that restaurant thing, right? It reminds me of all the choices that I have and or rewatching Day five, reminding us of that gratitude that ah, doing things that make us feel the five stages of Wow. So this is how I would recommend doing some of those rewatching things. So let's go through some of the old pillars and talk about how they work for assertive ism. Pillar number 10 I forgot to mention. So my goal for you is to pick 2 to 3 pillars that you want to really focus on. So now that you've learned all of them, I'm sure people had favorites and least favorites. I want you to pick two or three as I'm gonna go through all of them that I'm gonna ask you in the audience. If that was one of your favorites those the ones I want you to start with, it's hard to do all 10 at once. So we're gonna pick the 2 to 3 priorities. You guys kind of have an idea which one's your favorite? Okay, so pillar number one assertive ist take is that you deserve to be happy right now. No more. When, then? No more pushing it off into the future. This is about looking at what makes you happy and claiming it. Who's with this Anyone's kind of priority day. Now how? All right. OK, interesting pill number two mastery. So this is about I want you to be amazing and what you dio I don't want you just to be good. I don't even want you just to be great. I want you to be the best at what you dio utilizing all those skills. How many felt like this was a priority day. How very interesting. All right, Killer number three play assertively. Play is not optional. We have to make the time. If we don't make the time for play, we will not have time for play. So if you want to make sure that is in your life, you have to claim it. How you will feel like placed arming was a big one for them. Cool. All right, place storming. This is also your happy checklist I forgot to mention so that big long list of pluses and checks and minuses. If you want to tear that out or just print that out in your workbook, you can actually use that as your checklist. Right? You can just go down it and make sure you're checking off all of your pluses and question marks. You can print that out if you want. Pillar number four, minimizing the bad, maximizing the good. This takes energy, right. This means looking your life, diagnosing the problems and saying I am going to change it. I'm not gonna wait for them to change. I'm not gonna just tolerate tolerated. I'm actually gonna do something about it. I'm gonna go for, like, this was one of their priority days. Not as many interesting. Okay, Pillar number five. Wow. The five stages of Wow. Capitalizing on her happiness, savoring a little bit more. This is about claiming moment to moment happiness, making sure that we're saying I am going to savor every second of this delicious olive bread breads, Olive garden breadstick, right? All those different things that make us savor how things like this was your big 10 great. Okay, that surprises me. Pillar number six Gratitude, totems cause champions. This is about giving what matters. It's about making our life and our legacy start right now. And I think that when we give back, we know that our time on this Earth is contributing to more than just our happiness. But other people's happiness as well. How many will have a cause champion? Our gratitude, totem. They're gonna focus on All right, this is gonna be a big one for some of you. You'll remember seven finding your people. So one thing that I wanted her I forgot to mention that when I talked. This lesson is, if you are having trouble finding people, yes, you can use this course. Right. The Happiness Facebook group Also, science people were trying to doom or in person events. So we have 70 different trainers all over the world, and they're starting science. People live events in all of their cities. We actually just rolled out the 1st 20 and October, and we're gonna be doing more and more every month. So you're welcome to go to our website and search to see if there's a local tribe in your city. Times people signs evil people are awesome. So hopefully you confined your people. I'm happy to help. We do anti networking events, so I hate networking events. So we created anti networking events, and it means you come. You play games with us, and it's a totally different kind of working experiment, so hopefully you can join us for that. How do you feel? Like this is when you're gonna focus on okay a lot, right? Killer number eight. You're lucky, Jack. Lock opportunity in your basement, right? No more waiting, but actually searching and doing so they wouldn't feel like this one is a big one. This is a hard one to make a priority, like Yeah, Okay. You can totally do. That s so lucky. Jack is a hard one to make a priority, cause actually, the good news about number eight is once you know it, there's not much you have to actually physically do for it, right? It's a mindset shift. Triangle theory. So leveraging your physiology for total wellness. How many? Who really They're going to try to tackle that side of the triangle. Nice. Okay, A lot of people Last one claimed the life you love lived to your fullest capacity. So I already asked you people were gonna start a quest. How many people have a quest that ties into a previous day or thinking about a quest that ties no previous day? Like a cause champion? Maybe yet maybe. Okay. All right. I'll give me some time to think about it. Don't worry. One thing I wanted to mention here is workplace eso specifically some of the skills that can help you with your colleagues, a couple things that we do start this a lot of a long list. So There's a couple things that we do it, the science people that I thought might inspire you and your teams is how I try to utilize happy principles on with my happy team. One is for learning that science people, we have a book fund. So when any employee wants a book, all they have to do is email me. Why they want the book and I will send it to them is my gift. So if you can give the gift of learning, I highly encourage using books as gifts, right, especially you asked someone. Hey, what's on your learning bucket list? And they say, Oh, I've always wanted to learn to grow a succulent garden. You can then for their birthday. Remember that Go get an amazing book on succulents for them. So I love the idea of trying to gift learning to others. We do monthly, as I mentioned, start shop continues, and this is also where we look at our progress scoreboard, and also we have ownership of metrics, right? So I try to give people control or self mastery in their position. I also highly encouraged job crafting, as we mentioned about job crafting at Google. So one thing that we do is I try to ask my teammates about their skills. A concept here is that my be work is someone else's. A work. I mentioned video editing. That's my be work, right? I'm kind of unproductive at it. I don't do very well. I kind of gotta be in that class. A video editing, however, video editing is Robbie's a work so me Giving it away is not a guilty thing. Doesn't feel bad. I'm actually gifting Robbie a mastery area for him. So job crafting our job swapping, thinking about how you can hone what you dio to make sure that it's on Lee you're a work allows other people to find their A work, too. It's not a selfish activity and lastly, stating your quest. So I try even in my workplace to make our questing support group. For example. Danielle, one of my colleagues, is going. Her quest when she took this happiness course last year was to try to go to Europe with her husband and take a long European vacation, and she has it on the calendar for march. So I am so, so excited, should just told us that she got to put that on the calendar. So we try to follow up in each other's quest. I highly encourage you to ask your colleagues What are you working towards? What are some passion projects you're trying to accomplish and then supporting them on those quests as well? Remember, you are not alone with all these pillars. We have the Facebook group. We also have science people forums. If you want a little bit more private, we have a whole forum discussion section on our Web site. And of course I'm always on Twitter. We have a big party on there. I check it very frequently. Other option is maybe be alone, right? I talk a lot about community, and that's great. But I also encourage you to make a date with yourself, right? Take yourself to a coffee shop and sit down and talk about your quest with yourself. Right? Treat yourself dinner and take a solo weekend trip with this workbook, right? Say like I'm I spent the whole week or the whole days learning about happiness. I'm going to really dig deep. Take yourself to a little B and B retreat, right? Sometimes we actually need to be alone to make progress. I think this is a quest lifestyle. Most of our science people, students or happiness students have joined us this lifestyle and I want to support you as much as I can. So as you are embarking on this journey and these adventures tell me how they're going right, living purposefully, living with adventure and saying yes to things that fulfill us, I think that is a kind of radical honesty in itself. I highly encourage you to join it. Helen Keller, be happy with what you have while working for what you want. So what you have right now is enough. It is totally enough. But every day that you work towards some of these pillars, every pillar you add, your happiness structure brings a little bit more that dopamine, that serotonin into your life. Your time is now. So this is the end of the course. You have choices now to go and run with this adventure all the different tools that I have given you. You'll remember the Chinese proverb I shared on day one. The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second best time is now. I would like to know who is planting their tree who is penetrable. You're all planting your tree because I'm gifting you trees. So we have little tiny trees for you. For everyone here. A little tiny tree for you. Please name your tree. I feel like they all deserve a little name. So you all planted trees? Thank you. Ok, Ok. Yeah. Good. Yeah. Perfect. If you take these two will take two over here on. I have little like fun. Thank you. Card. Little postcards for you guys to Here's your little tree. Very little tree. Everyone planted a tree. Didn't even know names. Do you have names yet? Oh, looks like me. Let me see. How does it look like me? E I like it or nesa convict the mini me? Yeah. So your happiness, remember is a gift. So I know that sometimes it can feel like we don't want to focus on our happiness. That's not enough. That's not giving back enough. 87% of adults said they would prefer a society with the greatest overall happiness and well being. Only 8% preferred one with the greatest overall wealth when you are happy, That contributes to everyone around you. We also have this gift that's been giving us dopamine this entire time. So I actually want to give this gift to someone who has been on this journey a long time with me. So, Jennifer, you actually know, I think what's in this gift. But I want to give it to you because Jennifer was actually in a little tiny version of this course that it a few months ago. And then you came all the way here to take it again. So I want you to come, and I want to give this gift to you. I have to help you with scissors. So you wanna open it? It doesn't have any guesses. What's in this box? Yes, Teddy bear, maybe e o have scissors in case it's hard to put down a few days. Rip it open. So okay, maybe for the e out. Don't worry. It doesn't go another hand. Okay. Yeah. Ready? What? Uh oh goes right. That is all yours. You can cuddle with it. Really? You don't need another seat on the airplane? Yes. I think you should. You convert like you can like hold on your laugh is your comfort animal. So I told the story of the beginning of this course about a bear, right? And I think that all of us have the purple bear. It's just about putting in the work, right? It's about taking a little extra time and making sure that we're utilizing every tool and every skill I've given you. In this course, I have more skills to give and more gifts to give. So in your workbook, I also have an extra section for you on happy at work. So I have an entire section in your workbook where I want you to be able to take some of the skills we learn. And I've posed some questions about how you can use these at work in different ways. Little chart that you can fill out some things to remember to keep in mind for happiness at work. What's working for you at work, right? Can you play starts off? Continue with yourself with your work tasks. Capability brings happiness. The more you can job craft and add mastery, the happier you're gonna be. And lastly, you give yourself an immediate competitive advantage by amping up your professional happiness, the best, the most. The way you're most likely to get a raise or promotion, just like we saw in that Google study is by increasing your happiness at work, you deserve to be happy, and it also makes you more successful. I also have in your workbook a happiness check up. So this is what I encourage you to do with five questions once a month. You don't have to. Once a month. You could do it once 1/4 once every six months. These are the five questions I ask myself every month, every month I do a big, like kind of personal growth day on a Sunday game. I haven t I make a whole big thing of it. These are the five questions I asked myself. He's the five questions I want you to ask yourself after this course as sort of a check in. It also helps you if you focus. If you've nailed three or four pillars, helps you add a couple of more. Even afterwards, the final challenge of the course just start. There is no last challenge. It's just to pick one of those things that I've already given you start your quest, start your happiness. Experienced experiments start. You're saying a start, Matt. Minimizing. Start maximizing. Start your cause, Champion. The very last thing. Bigger question is what was the most important thing you learned in this entire course? Not just today. What was the biggest Ah ha moment you had over all 10 days. We love to hear from you guys. I know I haven't Didn't warn you. This was coming. Yes, For me, it's it's celebrating my accomplishments. And I usually I do a lot of things, but I don't take the time to celebrate them. And I do a lot of things that even my husband doesn't necessarily even know about because I'm always on to the next thing. Like, how could that be so good? Make him your partner. Enjoy. And that, like, forced him to celebrate, make you celebrate together. Oh, I love that. Yes. Sound their hand to do raise your hand. Yeah, um, think the most important thing was the idea that the happiness is contagious, like just being a part of this class with, like, a group of people that are really interested in, you know, learning happiness. It's like a paradigm shift. Yeah, Yeah, it's a skill. And being around the right people, it actually left brings everyone up. We float together, the right. As the water rises, we all go up. I'm gonna ask everyone. So get your answers. Ready? I am, um this has been really good to claim in my happiness. So I think that I've sort of, like, dampened my excitement about things along the way and then specifically sharing my happiness and letting it sort of be known out to the world more than just like the select. A couple of people that I do. That's right. A fright 02 things. Happiness is always in me. It's just that I thought it's always out there and and I was always waiting for When is that happiness coming to me? Yeah, but I will take control of my happiness. And also, the second thing I learned is that happiness is attorney. Enjoy the process of being there. The destination is they're wonderful once I get there, but also enjoy the process of getting there. So I've given you a lot of checklists, right? I've given you a lot of list, but you'll notice that, like be happy is not our enable list. And that is because happy is happiness is not something you can check off. It sounds something that you achieve when you're done with it. It's sort of a state of being. And so I love that so much. It's hard, hard today. One thing I mean, I've always felt that you choose happiness, like every day you wake up and you get to decide Am I getting behind my honor mouth? Exactly. But I loved the You know, that statistic that you shared about just stating, you know that you're excited can totally change your perspective and your results. Your performance. I loved all the statistics we share on how it improves your life in riel results that you can measure. I'm excited to go back and really dive deeper into that. And, um, and the structure around I really appreciated the structure because you promised us it wasn't just going to be soft. We actually have tactical skills and a way to organize it. That's very seems very digestible. Anything that there are like 15 charts in that right? I love charts and tables. Yes, I love the whole my the whole part of it being a mindset that it's really ah mindset of how you take that mindset and utilize it to your the best you can and to think about it. And, um, exactly the tools are what's gonna make it. And I think after a while those tools are just going to come very natural and won't need. I won't need to look at them anymore. I'll just be able to be in that present moment of absolutely right. Once you train your brain, it's like muscle memory, right? The first few squats a really hard. You're thinking about your posture in your positioning and then after a while, you just following that. Must. Secondly, is that I really want to pay it forward to everybody that I am, and maybe, and maybe skydive. It's on the list. It's McConnell s. It's OK, but it's definitely on the list. Even was starting to see that Florida's part of requests. That's true. Yeah, I'm excited about the quest, especially having eso break it down to the hearts that I need to be starting right now and then have a completion date for it so that you have or that have a quest that mind sharing it. So I always wanted to climb Kilimanjaro. Yeah, and I went, like other, like hiking, which was like, difficult. But this one is just a quest that I want to do. And, uh, I should start training. That's right. Oh, yes. And the training for that is part of Po number nine, Right? Like the wellness actually all fits together. What, like it's That's a big one. Yes. I love the idea of happiness experiments, especially those with question marks which are kind of on edge between, like, it will be disaster or success. Eso I think I'm usually, um postpone these, uh, experiences now I'm, like, eager to try them first. Come first, right? You told us your hair apart writes. Yes, I guess I The most thing that I really liked was that Russian darting. So do you think that you said sometimes you wake up, you do some stuff that after end that you say Okay, I'm not done with that. So it feels like he didn't do anything that day. Yes. So it happens to me all the time. Some days I finish everything. I don't think that. Okay, I did all of that last day because because off them I can't finish it today. So I guess doing that, Like getting a completion, right? The joy that comes from completion completely. My purple bear. Um, this reaffirmed a lot of things for me. Yeah, I feel like I'm on a really unbelievable journey that I didn't expect of a year ago. I wouldn't have seen me here and doing any of this. Yeah, and so I guess my biggest take away is to take all this and keep going. That's it. That's right. And you can. That's why I gave you the purple there. You took the step to come back. So I'm really excited about that. Yes, we care about our full circle. I have one. You have one left, Yeske. A perfect I really like to doing thes skill. Temperature quiz. I think that sometimes I thought Oh, well, I know what I'm good at, but actually having it laid out and taking the time, it seemed like some of them overlap. But I realized afterwards that they didn't really and of the things that I find come naturally to me aren't necessarily what comes naturally. Other people and I can help share with that. So I thought I was way good. And that is why I outlined those skills like that. Took a while to figure out what skills were there. So there wasn't overlapped. And, you know, like you are special in those areas, right? Like not everyone is as creative or a socially intelligent or as open as you. And you should, like, own those skills. Thank you guys for sharing those ah ha moments. I also had ah ha moment as I talked this course. So I cannot wait to go back and tweak some of the science and do more research. So remember, at home please tweet mere happy Ah ha! Moments from the entire course. I cannot wait to read them. And I will gift out a copy of my book calf debate. When it comes out, we're at the final end of the course. I'm gonna have everyone stand up and this final HRH I also want to thank all of you guys here who showed up and shared. I also want to thank buy happiness crew here creative lives. So I have a thank you card for the entire crew. And we're gonna dance, place in music and come on up, if you can. I know the camera operators were operating cameras, but congee Oh, CIF Mikola Matt, Lauren, Daniel, Matt M and age both. Chris Casey. Kris with a K John. Ken is not here. We're gonna save for her. Kate, Chris, Eliza and Kim. That's how many people are behind the scenes at creative life. So we're gonna dance, rock If I could get everyone who's free you have com Chris, we're gonna play the music.