Case Study: Paula Jenkins
So finally paula thank you for waiting way no, we didn't wait and I'm not wearing it now because I'm sweating politi thank you very much. Oh my gosh. Okay paul and I when do we start working together like a year ago like was not that long yes right. I think our first conversation was like may maybe of last year oh my gosh does that seem possible no like no yes no, but yes. Okay. So she's a project manager and retreat leader she's still a project manager and retreat leader but she's blogging so wonderful block and she is planning on getting her life coaching certification jennifer starting in january, right? That's when your classes ok, so as I've been mentioning she is the excuse buster because how long was your commute when you came to work with me it was averaging an hour and a half each way up to two hours so it would be to four hours a day in the car yeah, commuting to the job yeah, you didn't like yes, yes and you had another at home haven't other he turned for just two days ago. ...
So zachary at home okay, so first I think the question is what made you feel like you had time tio work and give me money to help you do this work? Honestly yeah, well, I think so where I'd gotten was I'd had to very bad jobs, and I was in the midst of the second one when we started working, and where I'd gotten, too, was a place where I could see that I was giving everything to these jobs. The culture was that, you know, I think you talked about your your bad job that led to a change, but, um, what happened for me was I realized there were never going to instill boundaries, you know? I mean, they wanted everything all the time, same thing I did not know, the separate I had the iphone if I wasn't on it, you know, all hours I was ridiculed at work the next day and questioned, you know, my motives, I just heard you're not a doctor, you're not a nurse, no one was dying no, no, no, this was advertising on, and it was a whim advertising, so there are no emergencies on the internet favorite joke and yeah, I mean, the balance just wasn't there, and I jumped from two different jobs with people I loved too great folks that I've worked with before, and I totally love them and admire them still, but I was questioning with myself, sorry, um, why isn't this a fit? What is wrong? And it must be me, I was starting to think I'm not had a child and I had things had changed, and so I was starting to look at what can I change and the voices that started to get so loud of but, I mean, it was more the dream voice of that is not what you should be doing your a good project manager, you're great project manager, you love it, you love people, but what is it that would make you so excited to get up and get out of bed? So when I signed up with you, I was like, this is it a zzzz tie in to your guys question yesterday of why not me there's the book end of if not now, then when so I got to that point super quickly, and I was like, okay, this company isn't going to define my boundaries, I mean, they're going to tell me all in all the time if I don't say no, this is for me, this is my hour, I'm going into that conference room and I'm calling michelle there, they're going to honor it. And so even one time, some guy came in remember that I'm talking to you because, like you should just drop whatever you're doing and it's question, oh, he's like, are you interviewing? And I'm like no, no, no, but no right? Yeah. So that's, why that's? Why the excuses stopped as I fought super hard and mercilessly to carve out the hour at work to get on the phone. And I found literally a hiding place that no one could find me. And I get on the phone and hide in this little corner and talk to you because I was like, I need out tonight, there's something else in my heart and that's what I need. Yeah, okay, so this ties into what we talked about earlier about that sliver of belief, and if you're here, and if you're watching you're at the point where you know things need to change, you have that sliver of belief that this is not working out. I don't know what it is I want to do possibly, but I know it's not this, and things need to change, and I actually have a lot of clients who comes to me with new wish children because they say, I don't want my child to see me in this job, I want to be an example for them. I want them to see me happy at work and fulfilled and doing what I love as an example for my child, so I think you know, it's it's, not necessarily a coincidence that, like you had cute, adorable little boy at home and you're going like I can't I can't I can't be away from him for this, right? Yeah can't be away from him for this. So okay, so, so talk us through. Uh, he told us how you carved out the time at work. Tio actually be on the sessions, but there's so much work that happens in between their west. Yeah, it is a lot of work and it's it's the hard work, all right, because of the emotional work. Yeah, and so I would go home and after he was asleep and my significant other shawn, we had also just got him to his dream career, which is chef. So now he's, the chef and I'm very proud of him. So after those two guys have gone to sleep, I would sit down, just break out the emails that michelle would send, and I would just start busting through it and it was more it was more such a labor of love that I found myself in the zone to do it, and time just faded away and that's exactly the same, you know, feeling I was chasing because when I do retreat and I'm researching for that that's, the same feeling, so in a way I knew this's it like you're on the right path and I don't know if vampires were showing up or not but I would have I would have told them get in your corner because you know you you can't stop me on those I was willing to fight people who work for the time and I was willing to fight I guess even myself yeah, well what career fears came up for you what were the things that you were worried about? Oh they're all there yeah I'm not enough that I heard from you guys that the homeless in a box child starving on the street is a big one people will laugh at me people won't take me seriously I think those are some of the biggest on it's always mean leading retreats is also probably similar to the hippy dippy non existent but there's that sense that you know I have a spiritual side my backgrounds and religious studies and there was always the question in college I don't come back round but that I know what you're going to be a nun but like there's that sense of well what if I am I mean I can probably now but they won't let you but following that and following well know I really love the spirituals side of me and announcing that loud I'm proud and just saying no here's here's where I'm here's who I am and I gotta follow that and see where it leads so I don't have that kind of answer no I mean it's another way where you're you're bossing around the vampires in your own head and the vampires that lived in that work environment yes so you're you're really embracing who you are and your truth and your education and your experience and your passion I mean it's so interesting what your degree is in because obviously it's not related at all to advertising yeah well and in our work together I mean one of the things that was a total disconnect for me for a while was I would lead these weekend retreats where I'm telling people listen to your inner voice, follow your passion and then I'd walk in and start making advertising that said you need this thing for your card to be who you want to be and you know you need to buy this to be whoever this person is that you think will feel failure dreams and I'd come home and go I just told people all weekend something different and so it finally became too that what I've realized some of the excuses started to go away go away when I said I'm going to start doing for myself what I've been telling others four years both feeling your own invite yeah and why I couldn't let myself off the hook anymore because I've been in these two bad jobs and was so miserable that it was like you gotta listen yeah yeah my my husband when he was in advertising working specifically and pharmaceutical campaigns he would introduce himself as a drug dealer people would always start like a clean cut guy people like lewis maybe like I write from asu tickle advertised but that's how he felt that that's right yes eso were there any sort of rex or reminders or waste for you like I know you had that point those points at work or in the car of like I am I doing this why am I here blah blah blah how did you remind yourself of your journey and doing the work it's a good question I think I mean one it might sound a little silly but just looking at my son and thinking I want to spend more time with this person and going home to sean and saying you have an awesome dream job that you followed and I'm so proud of you gives me goose bumps but like I want that for me so when it got hard I'd say I'm the same thing I'm gonna do for myself and for these two dudes that I love and my family and friends so I could be like the best happiest person I always get and then it's you know it's too late I can't get the thing done whatever for following the career coach thing or our time together those who fall away because it's like there's there's the focus well and you bring up a good point to that we spoke about earlier you you brought shawn into the conversation you asked for his help I think asking after health is something that we feel like we have to do all of this ourselves but the people that love us want to help us and they're going to be able to say I'm going to sleep now paul I like you better do your work I'm gonna ask you when I wake up if you did your work like I want to see it like to have them be in yur paula don't sit down on that frickin couch until you finish that worksheet or whatnot so tell us and now what things are like for you with the new job and the new community and like how you're goingto balance the transition and your and your cooking certification it's it's probably a lot but not scary too much because it's how they're harder than all the other stuff I've waited through I hope well right now I've got a new job that's im you know, I think I'll probably be there for a couple years um it's as a project manager in a credit union some straight that was listening to your intro yesterday I'm like we like crazy and financial but it's a good solid place to be and the people seem great you keep posting on facebook like people that work so you never know like credit union you think stuff there for the people remember s so there's that and I go in and they have very set hours they're very good about it and I asked these questions, you know, in interviews like, what do you guys see his balance? And but I kept digging and they probably thought, who is this person like? Why she's so worried, but I also sensed from them just from the minute I walked in, I literally walked into that conference room at the first interview with them and said who and out loud said, who are all these nice people I get to talk to and they looked at me like, who are you like? We're so glad you're energy so they don't look atyou like, who sues this crazy neighbors and you knew you were amongst your people. Yeah, that makes a really big difference who I think sometimes it's the environment aren't but when we know we're not amongst our people when we were getting incharge told the story yesterday, two years into my job, I got in trouble for talking too loud, just like I'm not amongst my people you're just moving your environment and finding your people could make a world of difference, and now your commute is how long it's a half hour forty five minutes so that's giving me more time at home just to do some of the stuff on dh then I've set aside I've set up what I'm calling my ten in three, which is ten thinks I'm going to do in the next three years and I've written them down and put them on my blogged and talk about them all the time because I want them to be real and I feel like if I keep talking, you know, the vampires can't say, well, you never really plan that out or whatever, so I'm using my skills that I already had a za pm to project manage my way through the stuff so, you know, I know how to write a project plan. I know what a market stone like just use it for myself. So it's another way to be accountable? Yeah, so we're talking about again, billy buddies so, like starting a block making things public talking about you post you cross posted to facebook all the time, and you're obviously open with your current employer as to the stuff that you d'oh yeah, yeah, yeah, I know. I told him I'm gonna be out at an interview not that kind of interview I e yeah, I mean and it's kind of it's nicer to be transparent because before I also felt like I was living and you were writing? He was hiding to talk to me. You were right. I was hiding in the hiding spot. Found a hiding spot. Oh, my gosh. It's totally write it. Don't don't no, don't die with your music. Still write seriously. So to wrap it up, I think the last question and I need to ask all of my interviewees is what would current paula tell paula from the summer of twenty thirteen? Oh, gosh, don't be afraid, little one like just go sing it on the mountain, you know, like, just go for it. Amen and hallelujah! You're amazing, you know that I really love you. Thank you so much for being here, you guys goto welcoming spirit dot net it's gonna be amazing because paul is really at the start of her journey. And so being there and knowing how transparent she is and what she's going to share and she blog's all the time, you're going to be able to really follow her story. And she has a facebook page that is always so inspirational and motivation on fun. So, like you all those links are there, right? And she's on twitter? Yes, what's your twitter handle, I'm also welcoming spirit. I don't tweet a lot, but maybe this is the kickoff yeah, big value