Clarifying your own "So That"
Okay I promised you we were going to go through these tools these elements of productivity so the sixth one is something that it surprised me because when I started my business when I first became a teacher when I first got together with my wife jody there was always this idea of knowing why we do something and then I put down in the lower right hand corner of the slide I said really and what I found is that in exploration with somebody when I get to talk to about why they do what they do what's there so that what's their ray's own day etro what's the purpose behind the coding you're doing the technology that you're building the meetings that you're attending I mean quick show of hands who's ever been in a meeting invited to the meeting they're sitting there they're wondering why they were even invited in the first place is this ever happen anywhere you're kind of going through like what do they need me? Am I supposed to be here knowing why? Well there's lots of different ways of going...
about answering this question what I always like to do is reference I like to find a reference and so the question here is have you ever come across and conversation with someone may be a good friend maybe someone you just met once but who's ever met someone that you could tell they were living their purpose I have ever happened to anyone have someone that is on your mind that you know they're living their purpose how did you know give me just a little bit what what did they do say or how were they that you go oh my gosh they have to do what they do what was that I ended up interviewing her to ask her because she started a movement and marshaled endless volunteers and sponsors effortlessly she's a young woman and and I just had to know like how did she have that conviction toe have the courage just to be able to do that and it's because she felt it had to be done she just felt that it was her mission and you know it's need is is when I won't ever get to listen to someone expe blaine and experience there's much more than the words going on but you used words like felt interviewed experience the way that you moved your hands what you're explaining that you're that kind of intuitive kinesthetic you know when something's on you know you know how that's going and the more I can put myself in a position to use that not just for the other people but for myself so during this next exercise what is it you're experiencing what is that you're doing? What is it that you'd like to be interviewed about when it comes to this idea of what I call this so that experience so a short story that got me into this when I realized the power of this next technique that I'm going to give to you you're looking at a map of this is the roadways between chicago, illinois and cleveland, ohio and the short story is it was a november evening I had left ojai, california driven down to los angeles a flight from los angeles to chicago what went perfect? It was winter, so it was perfect as perfect convey flying in chicago waiting for my next flight one hour long from chicago to cleveland no problem the four o'clock connection got moved to five o'clock the five o'clock connection got moved to six o'clock the six o'clock was cancelled I got re booked for eight o'clock midnight the flight was cancelled completely. I went up to the gate agent I said well I kind of need in cleveland tomorrow I go on stage at nine and she very nicely, said there's one flight leaving in the morning. The earliest one she said will leave here in nine fifteen with the time change you'll be there around eleven so I called the office in california I did a little pen to paper and I realized that if I got in a car right then I could make the three hundred seventy seven miles in about six hours stopping for dinner so this was midnight which was actually one a m because it was going to be a time change and I need to be on site with the client by eight to be on stage annoying I will confess to you the first three hours total adrenaline I'm no way so we could do this no pro haven't slept on oprah and then four o'clock hit and I pulled off the freeway and I had to make a judgment call my judgment call was should I stay or should I go now not just good lyrics to a song and what I did and I don't know why I did this but knowing me and paper probably that was something to do with it I pulled out a piece of paper and I wrote down I am driving overnight so that and I let that paper fill up with reasons the one that ultimately I circled was I'm making the overnight drive so that my client gets that I mean when I say I will be there left up to my devices I will be there now what I want to do is I want to explore just a little bit what gets in the way of our so that because by the end of this exercise you can have a little bit more experience of being on the dive into what that is but what gets in the way of the so that is what we call task switching ah ah quick show of hands how many of you when you sit at a desk you either on a laptop here or you're on a computer with a single monitor who's ever worked in front of a single monitor, so for those of you, we have a single monitor you're watching this, you know that in order to get to another window you have to switch the view we'll just call that task switching and if you have multiple windows open, you may have to switch tasks switch views multiple times I already gave you the example this morning who's ever gotten up one room of their house got to another room where their house and forgot why they were there it isn't because we have a short memory as much as in between here and there are mines went to all these places of what we could be thinking about that we could be doing if we weren't doing what we're to go about two d'oh but we can't remember what we were going to do. I've seen people reached for the phone dial the digits the phone's ringing they glance at their email they forgot who they called that's how fast this happens so when someone says jason what gets in the way of your so that it's not always a big crisis or chaos or some emerging opportunity it truly is I forgot where I wass the best example I can give of this who's ever been reading a book? Right? Reading a book reading a book you get to the bottom of page you have no idea what you just read not gone right? I mean, your eyes went across the page and the but there is nothing there anymore. Now you have two options, right? Option everyone who just turned a page and keep on going. And if it's harry potter you're going to miss a whole part of the story. Option two is to go back to the top and start again these the things that are getting in the way of us living our so that question how many of you have ever said yes to too much and I know the online community one yes, yeah, right now I've got some people who are trying to watch this online while they're working on a spreadsheet right kind of going back to seeing those two things. How much am I saying yes to and how many ways or directions can I point that? And I just read a study recently and advertising a company. They implemented a tracker on the group's phones about one hundred fifty thousand people and the people were paid to have this tracking device on their phone and what it was is every time they checked their phone they had to swipe through an ad first what they found is that people were checking their phones up to one hundred fifty times a day not right, not wrong, not good, not bad, no judgment on that my thinking is of those one hundred fifty times per day how many of those swipes and checks were purpose bound? How many of those swipes and checks reminded them of what that mohr is that they have to work on versus what pulled them out with the magic of social media is that I could be connected the opportunity there is I can be distracted. The reality is I may get to the end of the day and not have spent time on what I wished I might have spent time on, so our chance or opportunity is too what I call clarify this so that and there's a bunch of different ways of doing this and the question I'll ask you to ask yourself and picked pick this venture that you're in right now pick the event that you're moving toward pick the fashion or the health care just for now and ask yourself and let's spill on that page and I'm gonna ask you out there in the community toe also do this so I can hear from you, but if you think about that area of focus that you're engaged in that's pulling on you let yourself answer the question I am doing this so that and see if there's a couple of things that land there I'm going to turn toe you the community and asked to share with us as my in studio class is picking their area and by the way do this a couple times so you have the I am doing this so that I am doing this so that some of you may have heard of a conference in austin called self by self west kind of a popular event that a lot of people go to and while I was there a couple of years ago I met a man a gentleman named tony die eiffel he has a website called w you was a w d y d w y d okay, why do you do what you do and over this breakfast conversation with tony he laid this question out on the table the attorney says jason why do you do what you d'oh and kind of in between bites and conversations and a sip of orange juice I attempted to answer him and he said no no no I said, what is this you have to think about it for a little bit longer and what erupted around the table of four of us was this amazing rich discussion where I had a new friend tony I had a old friend jody and I had a medium friend art who are all kind of pushing on me jason, why do you do what you do? Why do you spend so much time travel around there? Why do you build new content? Why did you write the book and they're pushing their pushing, pushing? At any rate? I look down on my journal at one point I said something and the whole table stopped. When I looked down at my journal, I had gone through seven different layers and the one that I said that the table stopped, I said, I do what I do because I feel joyful with the senses of completion now when I work with a client and they get to a next level and we check that off the list and that we work in the next level and we check that office, that brings me exuberance, joy, fun and excitement. Tony had me write this down on a big piece of paper that you're looking at in this slide. I got to hold it in front of the camera, and then this was published on his website. For me, it became something to come back to over and over again at the end of the day at the end of that exercise, why do I do what I do when asked for a couple of folks to share about a few of you who haven't had an opportunity yet to share with me here on the stage? But I love just any one of those lines it could be the first one the third one the fifth one but what are some from the in studio audience? What are some of your so that statements I do what I do so that not everyone wants we'll just go one at a time and you know kind of go through just get some quick comments from the online audience yes so sprint radio says I am doing this so that I can create a culture or kids feel safe in their schools and communities gary from the uk is doing it so he confined his purpose and emily barani says I am a consultant so that I can challenge myself and reap the rewards personal communal financial when I rise to meet those challenges all right, thank you for that e first yeah please on one two that will bounce around three four yes, I do what I do because I feel that it expresses my gifts and joy and that people reflect that back on me and it connects me with them and creates a cycle of joy and connectedness thank you. I do what I do so that I feel a sense of accomplishment but it's well, as I just feel like I've I've hit the mark and I get that that really warm feeling of yes I did that and that really helped somebody out I do what I do so I can connect my passion for social justice with my love of clothing and create a better world. I do what I do so that missed opportunities don't occur and so that I can help others. Okay, what do? Because I made my one my client's accomplished from what I helped them to dio I feel achieved completely symbiosis. You were working together. I help you. You accomplish that feeds me. I moved toward it. Uh, don't do so that by the end of the semester, a young person could begin a journey towards becoming a global citizen. It was fascinating because each one of these reflects on me how at times I can come back to that people may not get that from your marketing materials from the e mails you send and really it's up to us it's up to me to advertise that to myself. Now I just had you pick one little area and how many of you went layers who went two or three or even more layers deep and I don't know about you, but what I noticed when I did this when I took a look at these layers that I was cutting is that I was able to come up with something that became kind of a driver for me. And I did I actually went through the different areas of my life, these air, those areas that are my role is my goals, my areas of focus, my responsibilities and after layering or almost like an onion peeling those layers, I came up with these statements I came up with these the's so that statements and earlier on I asked this question and you'll notice that there's always a reason for me to come back to it, but who has ever had a tough day who's who's ever had a tough day and it's the tough days that I forget these things, it's the tough days where the flight was delayed, where the client wasn't absolutely pleased where something happened with her family and we have to respond and react to that. I don't naturally go back to my so that statement so I've actually made this a cycle of review about monthly where my ideal day I shared with you I can update that semi regularly, maybe a change of seasons maybe a change of of focus of of opportunity but I know for me about every twenty five, thirty five days let me come back and just re upped my agreement with my own self why did I write a book? Why did I start a company? Why did I get married? Why did I buy a house? Oh yeah I want to have this place that I go back to that's comfortable that's my that's my own little haven of safety the other important part of it is to look back at where these so that's come from and they come from what I call or what I was taught where signature stories and I'm always running with myself and with clients to go back and for me it's easiest to go back some time between five and ten years if I think about your company tony it's five or ten years ago you weren't thinking about this and then something's landed on your radar you studied abroad you traveled back and forth you talk to people on the way and you realize wow something's happened that connect those dots for me the best example of this inaction was reading the biography and then watching a little bit about the late steve jobs where I believe one of the gifts he gave me was the ability to look backwards and go wow those hard time it's those difficult times at the time looking backwards those were dots that we're connecting along the way. And so as you start to think about your signature stories that create that process that so that and just as a recap from so far today there's a couple that you can already walk away with that you've heard me tell driving from clete from chicago to cleveland that's a signature story that to me is I will do anything I can to commit to that agreement oh, by the way, what else did that little story do? It started me traveling a day early for most of my events because yes, I was able to make it work that one time but here for creative live we have a tuesday and wednesday event I've been here since saturday how do I make sure that that how do I make sure how do I increase the likelihood that I can do with that ideal day dictates that ideal day process engages in so the signature story on the life side it's those stories that we have that we tell weaver non then well, I remember when that happened signature stories for a work opportunity you had an amazing time living and studying and traveling abroad and your gift is now to share that with other people you loved going to nepal and being with the people there to bet on a pole to bed both of that area and then hand and then bringing that forward, you know? And for those of us whose livelihood are client based and referral based it's, how do we share those stories in a way that they'll understand and they relate to I mean there's been times where I've told this story to someone I could tell there was nothing you know, ideal day and I'm talking about health and fitness and eating right, and they're like you, I don't have time for that, okay, so your ideal day is owned, they're theirs is different, but these are the dots that I connect along the way, so I'm going to leave you with the element here, the significant one that I'm going to walk away with the tool as I put my here to identify your so that but you you saw what I added to market that to advertise that tow, let those people immediately around, we know why I do what I do is to experience this in my case, to get to that sense of completion, you know, in a way, as you were sharing, I was listening, and you had that too, to mark things off the list and how that we we share that, and with that a bit of exploration, being able to share with people here's, why I do what I do other people thinking about rick, who was here a little bit earlier, I know one of his passions is toe unlock the creative potential he loves to start things. So as you head into the break this afternoon, just kind of be thinking to yourself, we've gone through six tool six elements of your productivity portfolio already there's going to be a couple of your favorites he's going to a couple who can already imagine using one of these tomorrow who can already it's like you've got that was like that's the one you know, this afternoon we have two more coming at you so just kind of keep that in mind can we add a comment here? Jason? This is this is with what you're saying but it also does challenge it in a way yes jew s b z says we do what we do to make money to support our families and our lifestyles not to bring peace to the world as lovely as that sounds so that's just a different perspective. Well, it's I wouldn't say it's a different perspective that's they're more sure what's so important is about being okay with that and in surrounding yourself with a community who gets that who supports that and who loved that. And actually sonia agrees with you. She says okay, also to make money doing what I love bingo, they go and then I'm going to come back in I'll push a little bit and I'll say, give me some quantification you say you want more free time, I'm gonna ask how much you say you want to be better, more healthy, I want to say, how will you know you want to say I want to make more money, give me a number when I work with entrepreneurs, one of the things that I have them do before on the on our way to our meeting is they have to stop at an atm and pull out one hundred dollars and that was going to pay you one hundred bucks I said no let's just do this I want to see the balance once he was left after they've taken out one hundred dollars because that balance there's a whole wealth of information that I get right there and it's the best number that I confined in that scenario if the finances are a significant aspect of it was an important number because it's a number and it's date stamped about an hour ago you may have had a little shift but not a lot of shift so absolutely and that's why I really believe that this third third subtitle of the book is so powerful to people work smart think big make more and it does it ruffles feathers we all come to the table with our own perception I mean am I living in an environment where I can say I want more of something and will that community support that I was sharing with you? I had dinner last lots of friends of mine from australia extremely successful business owners extremely successful one of the most easy going guys I know his dream he does the queen's buildings his company is ah clean's buildings building management, that's what he does he's got crews all over australia, does the whole thing, he says. He said overturning says, I know things about running this business that I could give to another building management company that would help them succeed. I said, why don't you put on some seminars to do some classes? Is I can't stand out in that in that area, the world, australia, new zealand have this thing called the tall poppy syndrome that if you're a tall poppy someone's gonna want to cut that down, and so that idea of and I don't know what culture that came from a part of the world, but when someone says, jason, I'm not here to save the world, I'm not here to I'm here to make money like that's, you're more and I'm now old enough and wise enough to know that that can change on a dime I've seen it happened, we've all had that happen, someone in our life they thought they were going down this route, they thought they were going to go make some more about thing, and suddenly life threw a curveball, another thinking, whoa, how do I engage and where I'm going? And I think saying, adding so that after why do you want to make money will help anyone through the end game you know, and I'm watching the clock as we go down here. So when we come back from break, this conversation continues it's all connected because imagine if I clarified my so that and then I talked to my partner, my colleague, my my friend, my wife, my spouse and I got from him or her ideal day. What if there's a conflict between what my so that what I thought I was working for and their ideal day there may be a huge difference, I think the work that you and I do on the planet of meeting with people and getting them to tell these stories we see, you know, I can see someone saying, oh, I want this is my so that and then when they paint this picture of an ideal day, there is a little bit of that can be conflict there. We're on, my mind just went is I've started interviewing the spouses of the clients that I work with while this person I'm working with is in the room with me and I just ask the questions he's sitting right here like, tell me, what is an ideal day? Are you listening?