The BYS Referral Strategy
Referrals or one of those things that, um you can't manipulate referrals that's first and foremost um the just ask referral strategy sometimes is a little premature the send an email or a letter when you start your business to somebody saying I just started my business for example I'm an acupuncturist I just got my license please send me people I can stick needles in so, uh maybe I want to wait a little bit right? So it's a little bit dangerous to do that you doing that to family and close friends who are trying to get your business and support you? No problem, but the people you don't know very well be careful of that I just started my business. Please send me business generally doesn't work very well but asking for referrals from somebody who you think might give you a referral is totally cool but we want to develop those relationships I suggest you create a gang of five. I know there's a gang of eight right now on capitol hill or six they duel that's not that kind of game. This is a...
gang that likes each other really cool gang it doesn't hurt anybody. This is your gang of five five people that you develop referral relationships with it's like your own little networking group and your job is to send referrals to the other people in that network and their job is to send referrals to you. They all share the same target audience, but they do different things for that audience. Now, the difference here too many networking organizations is there's no rules except that you try to find referrals for the others when possible and organic. Um there somewhere there's, some networking organizations that do wonderful work, there's one particular, um, aspect to one of them that is never felt comfortable for me, the idea that when you're in a networking group, you're required each time you meet to bring a certain number of referrals never feel comfortable for me because what if I don't really I have the right referral for the right person and also people sometimes could get a little bit lazy about and just look in the phone book here's the name and the number here's a referral that's not really a referral, so I don't like that obligatory uh, aspect I like when you choose who your referral partners are going to be and you work with each other for each other to help each other, you think you could find maybe even a gang of two, three, four or five that you could set up this kind of relationship with you think you could do that say yes, if you think you could, it might take a little time but you start with one hey let's do this I'm going to start sending referrals and you find another hey we're doing this little thing you want to join us you share target market but you provide different services for that market you don't take commissions there's no financial arrangement you simply help each other that's the gang of five that's aware of each other you also have a stealth gang of five these air five people that you send referrals to that don't know they're in your gang all you're trying to do is find people that might be relevant for them because maybe there people you want in your network maybe there are a couple pages ahead of you in business development but you say hey uh tom I met somebody who I think would be great for you I'd like to introduce them to you because I think they'd be a good potential client they said they needed the kind of services you provide would you like me to introduce them? What do you think the answer will be? Yes so what you say is how would you like me to make that introduction because they may have a staff and they said would you please introduce that person in my case I might say dan but in some cases I'm I to introduce him to me senator both an email and then I'll respond right wonderful way to start a relationship with them next month you found another referral for them they might start reciprocating if they never reciprocate find maybe you move on maybe you don't but you're not doing a quid pro quo you don't call them next months they have central referral where's mine does it take some time yeah if you're not willing to take the time to build something significant get out of the game you want a quick fix go somewhere else all right go to aa flipping houses thing right? I mean this is this is one of those things that if you're not willing to do this kind of work honestly I'm not sure you deserve to be booked if you have another way and it's going to be consistent you're doing it great as long as you're doing something to earn the business if you're not willing to earn the business I don't think you should be in business for yourself because we've gotta earn it got to be a person that others want to help we've got earned that space so you have a gang of five and stealth gang of five now some of the people on your list of twenty maybe in yourself gang of five I mean you started sending me referrals I'd be paying attention to you all the time I'm not suggesting that you do but that would be great if you did you know if matt started sending referrals all the time janet he'd be like your best friend you'd love him now the question that people going to ask it home guys is well I mean I don't know anybody to refer right now you keep your mind open you will start to see the opportunities quick question real quick on that well first michael I gave you two referrals last month how could we have a hook a brother up you didn't going on man who didn't here's the problem you've got to make them aware here's the question really really if you just send the referral how did they know it came from you that's like a secret santa which is fun but I always want to know who's my secret santa because I want to say thank you so you've gotta let them know you can also follow up say how's it going with so and so now if you get the referral from somebody you've got to keep that person who sent you the referral in the loop hey, I'm working with so and so it's going great people what about confidentiality? Well, they made the referral the person knows they were referred there's nothing wrong and you can ask the person is it okay if I let jenna know how we're doing? I'm not gonna tell her what our work is about but I want to know and tell her to great thank you so much for set yeah, of course you want to keep them in the loop so that they know you are appreciated you thank them for it yes, and you go a little deeper on this gang of five question people are having and I have is how these people this gang of five whether they're stealth or I guess in the full frontal um thanks happen in life so you guys can see michael port right now with his back turned to me and he's going like this like just full frontal it happened yesterday you were something is's yeah today it's full frontal is anything you'd like to tell us share with us antonio there's nothing I'd like to tell you I'm blushing here right now but make relief comic early but the question is this with the gang of five are these people in the same industries or can they be in different industry? Absolutely. They can be indifferent as long as they're serving the same audience that's the key the shared criteria is that they are in the same audience. Okay, you guys with me all right now let's do exercise thirteen, eh? Uh with caroline and darby darby I mean darby come on up way. Go! All right, let's go to twelve to excuse me to thirteen a now one of the things that's really helpful to do tow understand the referral process is to look back at how a referral came to you what happened so in this particular exercise I want to do it with you we're gonna look back we're going to first look where did the referral come from so think about a referral that you once received having your mind where the referral come from um came from a gentleman that I know that I used to work with a gentleman that you know that you used to work with great what was the referral for er it was for a consulting job okay for a consulting job it was it on a specific type of uh topic material yeah okay that's important to keep in mind okay did the referral need to service immediately yes good. And how were you contacted email email by the person being referred or by the person who sent the referral by the person is sent to referral and they copied the person that they where we find and then you followed up and then I followed up okay now here's the question had you educated that refer er prior to them making the referral meaning and they know how to do it absolutely that's key now we look att first did you accept the referral and follow up we know you followed up okay is that new referrals still a client today that referral on meeting with them tomorrow right so this is great it's very good to continue to look at how these referrals come because you'll start to see uh you'll start to see certain data points um what's the word repeating themselves so when you get a new referral you'll see if you go to, um exercise thirteen b where you're looking ahead when the referral comes to you, you fill out this exercise every single time and you'll start to see where this referral where the referrals come from for the most part you'll see who's sending the most referrals what kind of people are sending the most referrals? Because when you start to see that a particular person is a natural connector the tipping point malcolm gladwell talks about connectors there these people who just love to connect people to connect you to things that you'd be interested in they just can't help but doing it and you're going to find there some people in your network who are like that you want to pay a lot of attention to them then you're going to look at this whole process what was it for? Did you educate them? Did you not? And of course they did you educate them part is absolutely essential so how do you educate potential referral partners that's what we'd like to know how do you educate them? Okay now let's start with exercise thirteen c thirteen c no, no one why would a refer give you this refer old why would this refer here you go you can see it give you this referral why would they give it to you? Um uh because they know somebody iss in crisis and I'm the one to call for especially for relationship stuff perfect so they know someone who's in crisis remember yesterday you learned the specific times people gently reach out to you now this is key that's why yesterday when we did the six keys to creating connection you learn what needs to happen in that person's life for them to say I need this kind of help because if you know what that is you can educate potential referral partners on that he's a this we're going to look for and other people if you see somebody in this situation I can help them and of course because you did they're foundational work and you do the work on building trust and credibility you could say I'm an expert in this I helped them that specific person produced this result with these benefits etcetera. Okay so that's first who would make an ideal refer meaning what's that avatar looked like that ideal client because you did the work in the foundation you can now describe that perfectly to a potential referral for and I don't think I have done a very good job with that because people tend to refer anybody not just the relationship stuff with just anybody and that's been my well this is good that she's getting referrals with the problem with just getting referrals for anybody is that you might have to say no and then you got to deal with the no situation you might have to say no even if that person does need what you offer because you decide they're not ideal and we could talk about how to deal with that it's not really very hard right you're not obligated to take them because your friend sent them over okay but I kind of have all right well you're not to do that anymore where would your refer find him or her remember yesterday six keys to create a connection where do they hang out you see how it builds it all bills yeah where do they hang out well this would be their family and friends doctors offices hairdressers correct coaches do a lot of referrals to me good good so now you know where to go now you know where to tell the potential the refer her this is where potential ideal clients will be you'll see them here okay and finally how would you like that refer to make the referral do you want them to say hey here's you know here's here's here's their card call her up do you want them tio just say hey look in the phone book what do you want them to do? How do you want them to make the referral um to give them my contact information in the phone or not at all no somebody help somebody phil come in like this hey that's the way I have been doing but how should you do it how do you want that refer her to make the referral oh seriously come on that is not complicated stand up please you want the person who referred you so you know where the referral came from yes close but there's another thing you could do eyes in the book you know go ahead and tell them to introduce post for you yes yes here's how it is you could send the email the refers name is steven refer old name is jennifer stephen sends an email jennifer meet my favorite relationship coach in the world she's going to help you with the situation you're in right now okay and then she said they said you please call jennifer right now because jennifer needs your help now okay and then you call jennifer jennifer thank you so much for calling you leave it in their hands I'll say uh oh good trying you trina you know somebody who needs to get more clients here's my card give it to first of all you're asking her to work for you harder than she needs to sending an e mail is not hard second ball season the time or the energy or it has to be now so often if you're question yes, hold that thought let's say you treated our talking right here in tree says hey, I know someone who totally needs you and what you said great get this, get out your phone sent us both an email right now so we don't forget there's nothing wrong with saying that are asking for that as long as you treat us said, I want to introduce you to this person if treated like I know someone, but I don't really think I wanna introduce you and you say, get out your phone and make the introduction now there's not really a good idea, okay? You see, you can do this is not something that's like beyond your scope of capabilities, but for some reason we're scared of it because, you know, it's made out to be a bigger deal than it is were also afraid of the rejection I get it, but all you need to do is be in the moment responding to what's actually going on saying, hey, I can be helpful here without pushing, but standing in your own power as they say, right? But you're going to be in service to both of those people. Why do you think people like to make referrals? Why do you think people like to make referrals? Anyone cameramen, anyone? Why don't people like to make referrals? Some people are just natural helpers. They just like to say like you're saying connectors they want to just help whoever they can help that I can why do they want to help so much? It feels good for them yeah, it makes them look okay nothing wrong with that. You know if I said jenna jenna jenna jenna says what's your favorite food not complicated pizza sure. Okay jenna's recruited pizza and she tells me you fail jenna have you gone to antonio's pizzeria and she says no I said oh my god you've got to go to antonio bay the best pizza in all the world now she goes there and she comes back and goes, oh my god michael I went to antonio speeds it was the best pizza in the world I go told you you want you know you you're in the know you're cool and look there's also certain people you know, there's certain people they always call because, you know, I need to figure out this or how to get this or like I always called julie hunt if I need a restaurant in philly she's a total foodie she knows everything you know and she's not like going around trying to like impose her food innis on people but she loves it when she could you know, tell you go here you love it also shows that she knows what you like my mother's like this if you need anything I'll give you my mom's number caller she'll help you out all the time people call. Hey, I'm a friend of michael's ojai. What do you need? I need this. I think you should call this person. You should go here still the true. I also send her things to help proof. You know, like where's my spelling mistakes she's. Very good at that. She might even do yours to thailand. Has. All right. Good. So you guys with me, you get this. You see how this works. So you want to look inside the referral process from the refer errors mined from their perspective, they want to look cool. Any questions from our audience at home? I'm happy to take them now. And while you're pulling those questions up, have a seat. Guys, give a round of applause. Thank you. A big question. Coming online is beyond referrals as once you are given that referral, a lot of people have asked, how do you say thank? I mean, how does michael ports say thank you to people and they get they provide you with business. I say thank you, keep it simple, keep is enough, of course, you want to send a nice gift, you want to send a nice card and you want to try to reciprocate in some way you don't have to send five hundred dollars gift ce you don't not sending cash you might send you know rose to your friend not in a weird way just a nice little flower you might send a nice little gift card even just in amazon gift card for twenty five bucks is nice right? You might send some chocolates anything that you think is relevant I did a radio program for a guy named andy tuttle during the launch of my book and he's in the real estate industry and he does this radio program for people in real estate oh my god super nice guy I was doing the bird promotion and so I needed promotion for the book I think he happened to say the same time I see you have a book coming out and want to come on my radio show I win on his radio show super great guy afterwards he calls my assistant said what's michael's favorite food sushi he sent me a two hundred dollar gift card to my favorite sushi restaurant in my town totally unnecessary totally blew me away and you know I called up right away I'm like dude you are awesome what can I do for you? But he he didn't expect that from me so you don't need to send two hundred dollars but I guess you know he's got a lot of money so that was you know uh cool for him do you see how it works? Good. So next question first of all let's talk in a minute about how beautiful this board is and get the summary going on there from jocelyn but before that from jennifer kent what's a good way to keep track of this referral info who you're sending to how they're contacting you just a spread cheat sure title again yeah you're first of all hi jennifer you're here yesterday I think thanks for continued to tune in yeah, you can absolutely. If you like spreadsheets, you can absolutely use a spreadsheet. No problem whatsoever. I especially made me sort of, you know, dazed and confused s so I used the book yourself solid addition of contractually to help me with that as well, because I could make notes on people um and you know, look, if you're going to use ah sophisticated cr m type of software ah lot of them will allow you to say to actually mark this with this client came as a referral from this other person in the in my in my in the database and it you know it it marks them and then you can apply tasks to follow up to make sure that they stay reminded about how the relationships going and what you're doing to thank them et cetera but in the early stages, you know, you're not dealing with one hundred referrals a day would be great, but you're not probably dealing with that. So whatever is the simplest way, even if just take out a little notebook, just write down you, khun mark, in your calendar three weeks from today, send this six weeks from today, call them and tell them how it's going, because you also might want that refer to reach back out to the person they referred and say, hey, so how you doing with susan? How you doing with eric? Next, any questions here in the studio audience for the referral system? Susan seems like she has already together. I didn't necessarily have a question, but a statement that you said to do this in the moment, and I think that would relieve a lot of pressure for me because I think I sometimes say, you know, I'll do this when I get home, or I'll do this next week when I'm back, you know, in the office and to be able to say, you know, in the moment, let's, take our phone out there, do the referral and get it done, and they're already in contact with each other, I don't know a lot about david allen get things done system, but one of the things that I understand is that if a task takes less than two minutes to do like responding to an email or doing something like that you do it immediately the other things go into it, do it later or you know, do it sunday whatever on dh that's exactly how I see that once you if you get the inspiration get the idea do it immediately that second because we're connected teo everything we need to do this kind of thing do it right then and there okay it's just more uh industry specific I guess it would take, which is when I like I could see totally I love this referral like for other business sorts of aspects of my business but when it's a client one of the most important things is for them to reach out and make the connection because it it starts the process where they're committed. Okay, so it's a little bit different versus if I were to call a potential client up and say, hey, you know what? You want to come work with me it's a little so sometimes that will happen okay? Just not for me, okay? And you know, some of them actually might like that you called after the introduction was made okay because it shows that you actually want them as a client you know, what's the interesting thing sometimes you'll go into a business and it doesn't seem like they actually want your business this boat yard that I was, you know, talking about yesterday with a nickel and dime you this is supposed to be, like, a white glove, you know, yacht club type of place I call the love I feel like I'm putting them out to say, I'd like you to do this work I'd like you to pay even I called I I would like to I gotta wanna pay my invoice, I feel like I'm paying, putting them out, it doesn't make any sense to me, but because they're like the big place in the area, they feel like they can get away with that, but I go around talking about it all the time and that's the problem, so I've got friends of my marina who stay away because you know that they don't they do good work don't get me wrong, but it's, those things that make the difference, that little things and, you know, if, uh, if I introduced gene to you and and I said, oh, uh, in the email if I said, hey, call jean right away because I know, you know, she's busy, she needs your help, she said she does caller then you're responding to me doing your your fulfilling a request? Yeah, maybe that's it is, I just don't see, that is often usually it will be somebody calling me and say, hey, I talked to michael and he gave me your number and said to contact you know, reach out to bubble and like oh cool awesome because I do want to know who my referral people are and thank them um but I might do this good you know, I really think we're looking at light different in worldview right? Because all it is is saying there's an opportunity that somebody's created and both parties are positive about it and they've asked you to just reach out okay let's go back to our dating concept right? Let's go back to our dating concept if let's say trina wants to introduce me to harvey for, you know, a date and trita sends us both and emails is I think you guys are perfect together but she checks because dating is a little little weirder, right? So she checks and says darby do you want to meet this guy? You know michael he's really great because of this and this door was like, I hate blind dates she's like I promised you if you don't find michael, you know attractive at least I make you laugh and then she says to me, michael, do you want to meet darby and I say I hate blind dates he says, well, just look at darcy's picture and I go yes please send me so so then she gets the permission yes, now she makes this introduction and neither of us pick up the phone to call each other or respond to the email he's gonna have it we're both playing it too cool and that's not really cool now you might just respond to the email and say hey let's say tom was the part of the dentist that was being introduced to you hey tom you know, like steve said who was introducing us you want me to give you a call we could schedule time to talk or I could just call you uh you know um and see if I can find you scheduling calls usually better and if it goes yes, then you're going so it's just a slight shift in perspective that's all yeah, yeah it's different. I'd like to know your mom's perspective on a she's a mental health professional? Yeah, wait no, no, no and we're sort of I mean, I say this with some some on ly half joking but I think there's some real news to it. You know, I grew up in new york city and you don't really get too far in new york city without knowing people in very few get a reservation unless you know someone who can help you get the reservation because there's too many people in new york for the amount of resource is so you kind of have to learn, you know how to do that and and you might not have grown up in an environment where seattle right there that's, you know, that's a super necessary thing or part of the culture, but it also you know, it just takes some getting used to and, you know, you do it a few times and you said, oh, this is this old house, no big deal I'm cool, right? And it's, just the energy that you be and the way approach it it's okay, you know, if you make it with you, if you refer to me as a potential client and and I was like, yeah, whatever, um I don't know I'll give you a call, maybe he'd be like, I'm not work with that guy you want to know that I'm like sweet I'm so happy to meet you you seem really cool love to talk to you boom yeah, yeah that's it yeah, thank you, michael enough about you for a quick sec. I want talk to jocelyn. Is that ok? Yeah, bring her on, josslyn people in amber specifically says sending props to jocelyn we're all super, super impressed and inspired by your work in here incredible talent I was hoping you could share with us a little bit about the referral strategy what you've created up there based on what michael's been sharing with the group, I think we actually didn't review the direct outreach portion as well. So let's review direct outreach and referrals before we go to lunch editori strategies there's three of them went through networking direct outreach. Now you'll notice too, as a visual strategist I listen and look for the patterns and so you can see I found one in that there was a network of ninety when we talked about networking strategy there was also an emphasis here in the direct outreach the list of twenty and then as we move to referral strategy there was a gang of five the full frontal you can draw a picture of antonio up there next to like a guy like kind of going like this anyway, um, so pattern seeking is sort of what's going to help you remember and retain and apply like what I said earlier um so list of twenty and always stays at twenty it's people who we do not yet know but would like to and it's oh my god, you know, um so there's a lot of things kind of going on there, but main thing here too that I picked up on was simplicity it doesn't have to be a really long outreach, it's just real simple. Hey, how you doing? I think you're really interesting. Here's, why talk to you later? You know, that's real simple, and I love that, um, so it doesn't have to be a big, scary thing, it can just be real simple, easy. Um, and then with referral strategy, we talked, um, about that gang of five, the stealth way of sort of getting that referral network going on, and then we did that exercise where we do a little bit of look back, so how did those referrals come to us? And can we kind of start to look at the patterns there? But then did the look inside, so getting really clear on why would that person send a referral? Um, so a lot of times you don't think through those things and describing the ideal referral for you, sometimes we don't articulate that very clearly, and when we do, we get the right kind of referrals that come back to us. So those are just some of the big takeaways that I got from that. I don't know if you've anything to add, but the thing that one of the things that really stands out for me is the self awareness and the social awareness yes, I mean that's that's why I said yesterday one of the two of the best books to read for marketing and sales skill development eyes social intelligence and emotional intelligence and their books psychology sociology type books you know critical thinking and remembering that there's no difference between you and that person as a human being that's all and also remember sometimes people don't respond because they're busy where you get them at the wrong time you know um but you also have to be aware of timing you know somebody sent me um a text that I don't know very well uh like yesterday evening about something and he knew I was doing this there's not a great time for that kind of text during something like this the only things you're going to really respond to are your family close close friends and anything that's critical from the people that you work with so you just you know, what's the best time for something for example if you go to, uh an event and there's speaker that you want to connect with tell your authors this don't give them your book at the end of the event because that means they have to carry it home on the plane and the last thing you want to do is carry home a book from somebody you don't know so where does it go was in the trash in the hotel room? Honestly so you say could I send this to you I don't want you to make you carry it off son that speaker thiss person's thinking about you know my needs in this particular situation that's all just like remember I said I don't did I tell you this yesterday I don't want to know what intel you today but I recommend never giving your business card out unless somebody asks for it I prep I sort of teased you with that yesterday but he didn't tell you I should tell you now where did the thing what did they give to business to business card thing out two people come from give give out ok you meet somebody hey how are you? Nice to meet you here we go one two ears two cards nice to meet you see you later where did where did that come from? Why to first of all you're killing a lot of trees second of all am I assuming that she's gonna automatically given the gene she doesn't even know me hey I just met this guy he give me two cards here's one is not gonna happen usually what happens when somebody gives you a card that you don't request there's a couple things that happen sometimes you'll see them out in the parking lot on as they're like opening their card or something they've got the using the car till I pick their teeth all right a little corner of a card or if it's a guy, you know, if you're a guy and you're doing this, you'll go into the bathroom. He was standing there at the urinal and you'll look up and there's, like your card is, like shoved behind the handle or something just there's a way to get rid of it, right, or just goes in the trash, so we want to avoid that, so I say don't give someone cornice, they ask for it if you want to keep in touch with somebody, ask for the card, so I'll say, hey, I'd love to keep in touch with you. Give your love to have your card if that's cool with you and I'll send you an email on monday and just to keep in touch, okay? She was here. Sure, she might say, I'll take your card also, she might not. I don't take my card out if she doesn't ask for it, but what do I do on monday? What I do on monday, I send the email like I said, I was going to remember I said trust is based on the ability to make commitments and fulfill them what's the first interaction we have make a commitment and fulfill it. Then the next thing I'm going to try to do is make another commitment so I can fulfill that then I'm going to make another commitment and fulfill that and I'll find different ways to make commitments that are relevant if we're talking and she mentions you know, something he's working on and I think of a book that I think would be relevant I'll say you know, I know of a book that would be great for you and this is what it's called should go get it so then the next week I'll send an e mail so he could get the book if not here's the link too, in case you could remember the name I know you were busy then I might write back few weeks later so how's the book so I never got it okay, I understand that you're busy, I'll go by the book and amazon send it to them so you just have to find a way to make sure you're not doing it in a way that's overwhelming if he feels that it's organic and it's okay, you do it. If it feels like you want it, you need to pedal back a little bit, you know, you backpedal little bit so that's why I say I don't bring cards as a rule is a principle just to try to, you know, make my point because if I want to keep in touch, I can say, hey, give me your current. I wantto want to keep in touch, and if someone says to me, hey, can I have your card? I'd like to keep in touch. I just will often say, I'm pretty easy to find, you know, if do you know what I'm saying? And, again, I'm not trying to distance myself, say, there's. Something special told me, that's. Why I don't carry cards. I'm just trying to make a point that you don't even have to have any cards to develop a relationship with somebody. So just so you don't catch somebody picking their teeth for your business card.