The Red Velvet Rope Policy
We're gonna work on our red velvet rope policy sound good so we remember the red velvet rope policy is a filtration system that allows an on ly ideal clients clients that energize us and inspire us but most importantly allow us to do our best work because what happens out in the world when we're doing our best work people are talking about our best work and we love every minute of the work we do, which means we want to do more of it and if we wanted to more of it, we're gonna be inspired to go into more marketing, which means we'll feel fully self expressed it won't make us so nervous so here's the thing, especially for those who are at the beginning of the business they say michael, if I have a red velvet robe and it's too tight, I'm not going to get any business and I'm just starting and I can't afford to do that that's why they might say, well, that's easy for you to say michael, but I'm just starting I get that so maybe that red velvet rope is a little bit looser in the beginning a...
nd maybe it gets tighter over time because you could afford to be a little bit more selective but if there's no rope there if you have no idea what your policy is, if you want no idea what this filtration system looks like than anybody is just going to come in and some of them may end up being dug clients, so we're going to want to do a couple things. Number one, we want to create our filtration systems, we want to put in place our red velvet rope policy, and we want to look at dumping some of our dud clients if we have any of them. Now anybody have a dug client right now? Raise your hand if you do, you don't have to say who they are because they're not going to know because none of your clients think they're done clients, they all think they're perfect lines. So raise your hand if you have a dud client right now case of helping people and at home, I want them teo to put in there if they have a dead client on dh, we'll look at how we handle that situation just remember you can tighten or loosen this robe as is appropriate. Now, depending on the work, you do your policy or your robe gets tighter or looser. For example, if I'm going to do a big group event, you know, ah seminar with thousand people? Well, the rules can be a little bit looser because I'm not dealing with each person on an individual one to one basis for an extended period of time. Nonetheless when we talk about the event when I'm writing promotional material for doing videos I'm incredibly clear about who it's for and my red velvet rope policy is articulated in all of the sales material so that people self select as best as possible and if people come that we realize are really really not appropriate they may go on a red flag list it's true we have a red flag list because you know the more the public you are more you have to watch out for you know for people showing up so you may have that at some point you gotta really be careful gotta watch out like who really might not be just a dud but really a problem client so that's even something to consider right from the right from the get go so but then if I'm doing consult like vips type work one to one work if someone wants to come and say work with me for a day that red velvet rope is as tight as can be that persons to be absolutely ideal not just for me but their investment is much more significant than it would be if they were just coming to a workshop so of course they're self selection process is very important but also my selection process so when I do my long term mentoring programs the alliance with michael or are except people into my coat certification program there's an enrollment process with interviews because we want to make sure that we're going to do our best work with these people and that they're in the right place so this red velvet rope policy is not just for you this is an integrity question this is right for them now you might say michael, but you know my my my fifty percent of my best is better than anybody else is that you know your work is that good? But if you're giving fifty percent of your work to a particular client that's out of integrity is not right you don't feel good about it, so you eventually blow up that dynamic that relationship so remember it can be tightened and loosened titan and loosen over time as long as you know what it is where you start. So the red velvet rope policy is based on the values that the people with whom you do your best work half what makes them who they are, their qualities, their characteristics, their personalities, things that are in eight are part of who they are as people, not necessarily their circumstances what's the difference between something that is innate and something that is a circumstance, a circumstance, what change is something that is innate, doesn't it stays the same so often when people think about the red devil rober they asked about it, they want to know about it, they say well, shouldn't be somebody that has a lot of money, because then they can pay my bills, right? And the answer is not necessarily yes, I've never worked with a client that had all the money in the world, but drain your energy made you feel like your work wasn't worthwhile. Yeah, made it difficult to do your work twice as much time to do everything that you would normally do much quicker. Yes, you've been in that situation say yes, if you have, yeah, so it's not about that. Now, of course, you need people who can pay your fees, but a value system will suggest that a person pays on time. If someone is a lot of money doesn't mean they pay on time if someone is no money doesn't mean that they pay, uh, on time, whether they pay on time is a value system, so you're looking at things like that and here's the thing, if it's an ideal client and they can't make their payment exactly when you want them to make the payment, you might say, you know what, you're gonna have another three weeks because they're an ideal client, so the circumstance changes, I've worked with clients that had huge quarters, huge courts and in the next quarter, slow, so they had a little trouble with their cash flow, so I say, you know what? Let's wait till the next quarter, don't worry about it because they're an ideal client. I know they're going to be with me. I know that they follow through on their commitment, so they're gonna pay when they can. It doesn't mean that you subject yourself. It doesn't mean that you, you know, take such a back seat to the needs of your clients that you forget about yourself, because remember, you're standing in the service of others as you're standing in the service of your own destiny. Those two things need to be in balance in balance, not imbalanced in balance, because if you are on ly serving others and you're down here, you're not serving yourself that's, not sustainable it's, not sustainable, emotionally or financially, but if you're only serving yourself and your clients are down here, that's not sustainable financially, either, because people are not going to stay with you, and I also person don't think it's sustainable emotionally if you were the kind of person who cares about being in service so imbalance. If you keep remembering that you're in balance, you will have more courage, you feel more confidence saying the best thing for you would be may that's what I'm trying to get you two used to get your breath on that one in you you want to be able to say that with absolute confidence but you're not bragging it's not bravado it's not hyperbole you on lee se this is somebody would you know it's true remember how I gave you that introduction on how the sales conversation changes so if in that sales conversation I'm able to say to antonio antonio I do my best work with you you're my ideal client he says why and I tell him why we're talking we're talking we're in that sales conversation I say you know I think honestly right now the best thing for you would be made but if he's really my ideal client we're having an honest conversation he's not going to say he's not going to say you know, that guy is so full of himself he's gonna go that's what I want I want somebody right now who will be the best for me because I need this so remember that when people buy from you they are expressing their values think about the way our society works we express our values through what we buy if you saw my credit card statements. My credit card statement said that I was in vegas every weekend had a case of smearing off delivered to my house every monday and that I had nineteen least porsche is in the garage you see one set of values, not that there's anything wrong with that is jerry seinfeld would say, although he does have a lot of portions, but I think he probably owns them all. But if you saw my credit card statement and it said invest in continuing continuing education, he sends us son to private school, he gives a certain amount to charity. He saves a certain etcetera you see another set of values because we express our values that what we buy, so when someone's buying from you, they're expressing their values, and when you have a red velvet rope policy, you know that the people you are serving haven't opportunity to express those values with you, and you are meant to help them do that you are meant to serve them. We're going to talk more about this value structure system when we talk about the actual sales conversation, but it is related to the red velvet rope policy because the red velvet rope policy remember the context of the whole thing that's where you start, but it influences the sales conversation and remember the distinction you have values over here and your circumstances over here, so we want to look at the values of the people with whom you do your best work now let's say some of you work with corporations, organisations, organisations are made up of people so you need to have a value system meaning a red velvet rope policy for the values that the organization represents and then a red velvet rope policy for the people within that organization with whom you're going to work you might interact with many different people inside an organization and not every single one of them is going to be ideal for you but you're looking first is this company reflective of my ideal type of client from a value perspective and is or are the people with whom I'm going to be working most closely? Are they people who I would let past my red velvet rope and if he answers yes to the first but no to the second then you say no to that client if the answer is yes to the second but no to the first you generally say no to that client unless of course you're job is to help that company represent the values of the people with in the company then your job is to help them come in and be the company that they can be because our businesses are an expression and a reflection of our value systems when I think about any marketing tactic my first question is always would my mother feel comfortable with me doing this always my first question always both my parents are mental health professionals which might tell you a little bit about why I am the way I am but they have this extraordinary value system I don't think my father would jaywalk and that's where I grew up that's where I developed and so when I think about marketing, I think about it in those terms you can do the same thing your clients need to represent that value system, so we're going to do some exercises in fact three exercises, they're gonna walk you through the process of developing your red velvet rope policy. I want to see their questions before I start to go into the exercises if anybody needs any clarity, you know we have ah, generic question, I think is a question it's really important? Because it's coming from, you know, well, the worldwide community here, creative live and some light snow in terms of what you're teaching right now, can this be applied beyond in the united states can be applied in other countries as well, you know, that's actually interesting get that question off because different countries might have different cultural normals, and I don't know where you know this particular injured individuals from, of course, but generally I think that this is less about what country you're from and more about the life you want to live and, um, it's interesting because I think in some cultures ware not encouraged to express ourselves as much as we are say, in america you know, sometimes we go over the top of that it's too much, I mean, our reality tv is an example of that, right? But, um, but I still think it's something to consider and the way that you handle saying no to a client is very important because you're not saying, ah, you're a dud client, I'm not taking you on, you might just not have room for that client at the moment, she's perfectly fine, and you understand what not having room means, right? But you also may say, you know what? I don't think I'll do my best work with you because of this and this as long as this and this is not something that is hurtful or disparaging in some way, but then you might say, I do know somebody who would do their best work with you and you refer them over there because your dud client might be ideal for somebody else. It doesn't mean there's anything wrong with them except for those red flag people. Michael maybe one more question before we dive in from tree ring creatives who says about the red velvet rope clarifying the who so I'm a freelance learning facilitator trainer are my clients, the people who hire me, for example, the hr coordinators or the people I teach in the class, how does this impact the filtration system sure so that's a really great question and we're gonna talk more about that when we talk about target market great because again remember the ideal client is a small subset of the target market and that target market is simply a place where you could go into your mark and when you show up there they know your dedicated to them and they'll spread your messages for you so generally the people that are hiring you are your target market but you may market in a place that can send you the clients mortgage brokers were perfect example of this they're networking is often with realtors because realtors will send in the business but their target client is of course the homeowner who takes the mortgage okay, so we're gonna talk more about that when we talk about the target marketing but we think about this the red velvet rope policy this ideal klein is the person that you spend your time with that is going to influence the work you're actually doing and is going to influence the way you feel day in and day out in your work that's who this is designed for that's who we're letting pat because look if that if that hr person hires them but they had very little interaction with the hr person doesn't really matter what that hr person is all about as long as they're respectful and you know they honor the contract etcetera but it's the person you're sitting down with day to day out that makes the difference there's a company out of california out of canada at the vancouver called nurse next door and they had a situation with a less than ideal client who made up a significant percentage of their revenues and the ceo of co ceos of the time we're having trouble figuring out what to do in this situation because you know if they let this client go that would be a significant portion of their revenues and there they were started at the time but their main focus was building the franchise they were franchise company, but in the beginning of a franchise development you have to build the corporate structure first have to prove the concept but they were not getting to the franchise development part because they were spending so much time dealing with this line it was not ideal, the ceo said that's it we've got to let them go they're very afraid that the staff would walk because there's a lot of risk being part of a startup all of a sudden you're goingto fire one of the biggest clients the guests would happen when they told the staff they wanted to fire this client what do you think happened cheering standing up on desks, champagne corks popping they felt honored because they were not forced to work with somebody that wasn't ideal for them so if you have people in your organization, even if it's one person five, five hundred when you're forcing them to work with clients that aren't ideal, you're jeopardizing your future worked with them as an employee. People don't leave a job, you know this just because they're not getting enough money leave a job because they aren't happy there because of the people, the work they're doing, anybody ever hear left a job because they weren't happy with the culture say yes, if you have the last corporate job that I had the first day I walked in there literally the first day I started planning my exit strategy, I went in there go wow, this is not what they sold me in the interview process. This is not what I expected it was going to be a nine months later, I started doing what I do now, so these choices it's like what is it? Is it just isn't fair to question whether or not you should work with somebody I think to dodge doing so shows a lack of integrity on your part. This is your life we're talking about. Matthew is not your client's life, although if they are ideal for you, then you are helping that life build move forward, achieve some sort of dream, any questions before we get to our exercises let's, get in there let's do it exercise one. See, I got two people coming up. Do you know who you are? Yes, before we do that, michael, if we could just reframe up again about all of the exercises in general and when you say one see what you mean by that and where people at home can you can follow along. Well, um in book yourself, solid illustrated there are dozens and dozens of exercise is written exercises that you do in every single chapter to move yourself forward. Um the exercises that pertain to the work we're doing this morning are free for those who enroll in the course. Now, of course, enrolling is free so that's a bonus that they're getting and then they can work along with those exercises. Everybody in the room has them printed out. We will be showing the exercise on the screen as we're doing it and the people that I bring up will actually be typing in to their app. We have an app with all of these exercises a book yourself sound illustrated up and you'll be seeing some of those on the screen in real time. So now he comes our work session less performance and mohr sitting down and working on your businesses so everybody at home this is the work you need to do for your business now not gonna entertain you quite as much but we're going to be working on your business and ultimately that is what you're here for not just for my mediocre jokes okay for the two you come on up and michael, this is one be correct one b one b one b thank you we're gonna do one b one c and one d one b one seeing one d uh yes great. So you have your here so go to exercise. What? Worksheet one you compress on that good there you go. So you get the red velvet rope policy and we're going to start by going to the next exercise to hit your little arrow they're good. It takes a little second. Uh oh wonderful. So were to define your star clients and you see there's an exercise here so who do they hang around? What their qualities characteristics where they like to do the kinds of things they uphold. What do they like to talk about? How do they contribute to society that's not the one we're working on now but that is one that you can have access to if you go enroll got it so now let's go to the next one there you so let's start with your current ideal clients who at present do you have as a client that is ideal for you, so pick a name a person if you're absolutely brand new and have no clients whatsoever absolutely brand new pick somebody with whom you've done great work with in the past in maybe your previous career if you're just starting out okay and um if you'd like, you can feel free to share their names because they'd probably be pretty happy that they're an ideal client right? So you have anybody in mind yeah what's what's his earning justin great britta great jennifer virginia thes people would feel so good to know that their ideal this is why you need to articulate to them that they are okay. Where are you guys shari I'm very sure I don't have glasses on good and you doctor it's dr salinity which is a little hard to sell a thing. Yeah, okay great. So dr self now why is the question you're going to write in there? Why why are they idea? Yeah go deep for those of you were at home go deep really? Ask yourself why are the ideal so the doctor is passionate he's creative he's kind it's actually a girl she is yes she is passionate she's creative she's kind impacting message fun new twist to message so you don't want the same old same old right now here's what's interesting something like new twists a message that's a circumstance what kind of value produces that? Do you see the distinction say no if you don't cause I want to understand the difference here so a new twist so you work with authors right? I do okay, so, uh author you like an altogether new twist to some idea I want to say mole thing well sometimes now let's say let's just say hypothetically I'm not assume you hypothetically I'd be an ideal client I got a new twist of something like I'm gonna take a look yourself someone do it for data very cool right? But there are times when I don't have a really good new idea and you know, I'm kind of thinking about doing something in you might look at me like michael that's kind of the same old you've done that before something else you know, so that that having that or not having that idea is actually just a circumstance but what kind of individual is somebody who likes to put new twists on things who likes to take risks like that? Is that she is that she is there you go so the fact that she likes to take risks compel told her to want to put a new twist on something what else? What about you guys in the audience? What are some of the qualities that you're recognizing in this ideal client? Yes, a mine are emerging into a new place and they're educated, motivated, vulnerable palate passionate and they like a challenge okay so let's go back to the first one moving into a new place so moving into a new place is a little bit like the uh likes to put a twist on something what is the value that would encourage somebody to move into a new place well I wanna know about the value minor usually emerging from a catastrophic challenge or something that really would force them to do a quick spin which is a circumstance so circumstance which is different than the value because somebody might have a catastrophic experience and not be willing however have any interest in moving forward okay but a year later they have the same one or different one and they finally decide to move forward because we don't always solve our problems when we first become aware of so what kind of person would be willing to solve that to move forward out of that catastrophic place anybody have an idea you want to share yes please um someone who's invested in their personal growth and they're invested in their growth and I think that's very important not everybody is invested in their own personal development that's fine but they're not ideal for you to make sense you with me give me a palin okay now go through a couple of those other ones again educated educated motivated educated is a circumstance okay so somebody who you like somebody who's educated what is that what is the value that somebody might inherently have who wants to educate themselves probably back to being invested in their own personal growth exactly so what you're seeing is the, um is what that kind of value produces in that person and you're able to see that they have that value by looking at their circumstances so people often ask, well, how do you um know if somebody has the value you ask them questions so what you'll see is the lot of the marketing that I teach works very well for people who like to collaborate with others they like to connect with others and so I'll ask somebody, you know, so tell me about a project that you're working on with somebody else and if they say was using if they say I wouldn't work with somebody else people are stupid you can't trust anybody in fact, if I don't do it myself it's not gonna get done not so collaborative someone else might say, oh, I'm working on these six projects with these people and love it it's great, but okay, they're already collaborative you might meet somebody says, well, not really working on anything right now, but I'd love to because I really think that that would be an exciting thing to do well there's a collaborator and waiting so you can have the discussions with them that bring out these qualities based on the circumstances that they're currently in but the circumstance they are or are not in is not necessarily going to represent the value entirely because they may not be in that circumstance right now, they might not too, saying I'm ready to move forward, but they still are somebody who at some point later on, I might be ready. Or maybe you can compel them to be ready now, because the value is innate. It's in it's in who they are okay, anyone else? Yes, please, my ideal client is someone who values me in my work. I love when they start out the conversation by I love your work I have to have you interesting so that's about you that's not something where they were born with probably not because they don't know you when they're born that's true, but you don't want someone who says I'm looking for a photographer. You're in the right budget. I kind of like your style. I want someone who is committed to me because that I think it does say something about them that they love one of my work let's look at that. What does it say about who they are? I guess maybe that they appreciate art sure that's one good, so they are somehow artistic it doesn't mean that they are actually creating art in their own life for say, but they value art so that's usually something that is part of who we are it might be cultivated over time as we're exposed to more art but that might be part of it they are also somebody it seems who are passionate they're not too you know they're not uh looking at this as just a new intellectual uh decision making process so they have passion right now um you know, I know that, um I know that you love my work because she said so but if there might be a lot of people who love my work who are not ideal, who might be on the red flag list because they're actual stoners I'm glad you know, the difference was I was saying, I know she's told the kids you can tell immediately right the more the longer you're doing this in the clear or your filtration process is the more immediate is when you meet somebody, you know, if they're ideal or not now it's good to go through that questioning process, but you get a quick fix. What else? Yes, take my jenna I have passionate, dedicated, generous and similar and just invested in personal growth great, dedicated generously generosity is something we can see in somebody and you can look for these things and when you have that sales conversation with them, you say, you know, I've noticed you're very generous and you're this and you're that god, thank you for noticing in and it doesn't feel good you don't realize it now, but you're a genius sales person you are you don't know it yet but you are because you have such a natural honesty to you you can see it in her face, right? I know if she's talking to me about buying something she's not gonna lie to me and I can tell it if she starts getting more comfortable with herself and knowing that she really is delivering what she says she can and what that person wants and she's not going to disappoint them. Then she'll start to open up about that. But that's that's what you want to see in a sales conversation and it's somebody who's selling something to you? Michael can share one from online real fast, please share. Paul says fun, good sense of humor trust me values what I do creative, innovative kids let's look at trust me and values what I do trust me really means that this is somebody who will trust others. They might not trust you fully, yet they're gonna trust you the way they trust their spouse or their parent there's different levels of trust, right, but you might trust me to tell you the truth because you had enough exposure to but she's not going to trust me necessarily like she would her husband or her I'm assuming you're married you have a ring yet so you see so that's very important but it is someone who is willing to extend trust there's a they're willing to look for that specificity and then the second one was values my work goes back to what we were talking about with trina right? Somebody who does value that kind of work but there's something else underneath it that supports, you know, expressing that value you guys with me how many people have atleast three values that they can identify in other people? So yes, if you do yes, ok, good, you'd like to share yours super motivated and committed to change so let's talk about super motivated would you see me super motivated? I thought you people do you know that right five bucks and five years for the fact that I actually and I don't see myself a super motivated so this is one of those things where I don't know my parents may disagree, my friends may disagree, my clients may disagree and they may see me as very motivated, but I'm not always motivated I don't always like I don't really want to another book right now, you know, so this is one of those things that's a little bit circumstantial yeah, what motivation come from well, they're coming to me because they're in pain they're motivated to change a suit it's a circumstance right? We've got to get to the value that somebody has that actually makes them motivated right? So so for me I know that the thing that does motivate me with respect to work is service I get excited to do this because I can help you I'll write five books of five years because I know that I can help you so that motivates me but if I don't really think that I don't really have ideas right now or what I want to do it and not that motive it because I don't think is going to help you that much so I need to have something that connects with you with that now also there's just times my life or I won't do any work after this I'm gonna go spend a week on my boat I'm not I'm not gonna do a darn thing so you know, so you're not always motivated that's very circumstantial okay, so you gotta find the values that those people have that will motivate them to make that change okay, so they're, uh honest with themselves they're willing to be vulnerable so they're they're people who are naturally honest good what else um are they people who believe in love? Oh yes, yes see this is important because even when I've had difficulty in my romantic life I've never once said well I'm not going to do and I'm never going to be with somebody again I don't believe in love so that's a value I might say I don't really want anything right now because I just came through something that's different circumstantial you see the difference this is what we're looking for and I can see your faces light up when you think about this so feel good to think about making these kind of choices with respect to the people you serve you and to be able to articulate it to identify it yes yes good let's go on to one seat the best of the best to do my best work my clients must have these qualities when I'm at my best I see these great results now we really just did that's right my clients must have these qualities now let's look at the results what kind of results do they need to have what kind of results they need about a minute and we'll do some while they're doing this last question michael either doing this I'm curious as you see people asking some of these questions and folks online or answering these and these folks we found that these were things that people just haven't really given the time to really think about ponder yeah it's true on dh it's not unusual because most of our marketing education is not tactics to create more awareness going back to what I was saying this morning and, um, you know it's really interesting when you actually look at the client acquisition process. It's all about this creating awareness is so easy. You go get book to speak somewhere. He write an article somewhere it's what happens after that? And this is where they think the real work gets done, and often, this is the harder work. I mean, anybody can writing tips to a better blogged, if that's what they teach. I could do that right now, but that doesn't mean anybody's gonna hire me. Okay, so what, you got a deeper connection with her audience? New way to serve additional income stream and join her work. Great. This is a good start when you have that. That was mine. Oh, that was excellent. Good, fun. Engaging, measurable, simple, clear and easy. Transformative. Now, what's. Interesting. Here. This is when you're at your best. That's important, this exercise is a little different than what we're going to be doing when we look at results in target market. This is when you're at your best. Okay, so talk to me some more about that, michael, what would that look like then I wrote this all about what she's experiencing so I need to take all that not unnecessarily unnecessarily because I might be in there so I do see a new way to serve and so when you're at your best you see these great results when you're at your best now some of them may cross over but I want you to make sure that you realize that you are just as important because when you see the results in others it's going to make you feel proud conference meaningful so what kind of results do you like to see in others that allow you to do your best work so for me one of them is helping people see new ways of looking at the world believed that the more styles we have more perspectives we can take the happier we are we judge people less as we see the world is a bigger place that may not be the result that someone is coming to buy from me but I need that to happen in order for me to do my best work see the difference that needs to know if that doesn't happen it doesn't happen and it doesn't happen it doesn't happen I don't enjoy it that much even if they keep getting more and more clients because you could get more clients even without changing the way you see the world but I just know I enjoy that part of the work so what part of the work do you enjoy most that needs to occur the results from that kind of work give me some examples yes go ahead I have a question um so for me it's knowing that the client has ah that they're inspired that somehow I've inspired them to do what it is they're here to do right is that what you're asking yes okay that's good that's very good what else um I'd like to have work feel not like work and have fun with it feel not like we're that's really great good good yes what else when I see somebody fall so deeply in love with themselves and their life completely transforms in every areas not just relationship like I did my job yes beautiful yeah thank you for sharing that you can see how meaningful it is to her and that's what clients need to see because they're going to hire her because that's how she sees the world that's how she feels that's what you want to work with that's why this kind of work these exercises are so important that brings it out in you yeah what else? Anyone yes go ahead take them like um I love it when people acknowledge their strengths something that they didn't nestle seeing themselves before hands and I was able to help them shine the light on that for them great great and then for you to do your best work you need them to see that definitely good, really nice really nice good yes good like when they have a lightbulb moment where it's like I I can actually get a job that I would really enjoy yeah it's great you want the lightbulbs going off all the time cool it's actually good for your brand have lots of boom boom boom boom boom boom boom yes sir when I'm at my best I inspire people motivate them help them to see new possibilities I have motivated to work harder when I'm at my best it was like I feel really just jazzed um I felt fully expressed yeah I dig down to their soul like you were saying you see a lie pop on you see you just see life is like literally and you begin to pull life out of them and just let them see what wasn't visible before and if you have a red velvet rope policy have identified the values that allow you to do your best work that's how you feel all the time and that's fully self expressed and that's the best marketing in the world we have one from our line this is from j k jones seventy seven says when I'm at my best I've created excellent images with emotion and connection my clients are relaxed, comfortable and excited to invest in their memories some assuming your photographer all technical things have come together because I'm comfortable working with these clients excellent really nice beautiful let's go to the next exercise okay, this is fun now you get to dump your done clients. So wherein one d now is that one d all right were correct one day. So can you read that for me? Because I can't see with my eyes yesterday whoever wanted to him three characteristics are behaviors that I refuse to tolerate is the number one, section number two and number two of my crown client list those who shouldn't get past my red another rope. Okay, so what are the qualities that you refused to tolerate? Put him down. This is the fun part is there are get it out part I refuse to tolerate these qualities while people are working on this. Can I ask you questions? Ok, I really have tried to follow your red velvet rope and I think I have so I have a very small select group of clients that I work with there they're very much the kind of people I would choose to be my friends, right? The promise because I do have a small group, I think we have become friendly and there'll be times when I'm getting calls at, like ten o'clock at night because they're excited about something. So can you help me, tio anyone give advice about how to set those barriers? That because I think I do become friendly with them that's, not me necessarily looking to stop how can you be clear from the get go that there is a differentiation between my personal life and what my business absolutely does anybody ever have that experience say yes if you do okay, so let me give you a minute to write down uh the answer to the exercise and then I'll speak to that a lot of people have that e I mean she wrote me disrespect personal boundaries unwilling to learn new technology what else we have appear don't keep commitments good that they you schedule, they don't show up, they schedule they don't show up they schedule they don't show up see these represent certain values those air circumstantial of course but they're representing certain values that's why I say behaviors what behaviors will you not tolerate no few from online to neil says I won't tolerate people who don't respect my time bad communicators complain about the cost way people who are while photo andrews is rude, unrealistic, dishonest, dishonest out of integrity where should we hear a lot of integrity is right and the way that you get people who are in integrity is by doing this yourself and being in integrity with respect to who you do your best work with this is interesting here also from fred photo says people who are victims they always have a sob story and drain your energy with the negative outlook there you go mmm drama that's right good. So give me some of yours what you got safe is just one and just what antonio said yes I put liars abusive behavior unable to follow instructions are always playing mothers for their problems oh, they're always blame others. Yes good what else? Yes, I had not ableto look at themselves honestly and where they're at and if they're not willing to have a sense of humor about themselves they're just not very fun to work with, right? I put mean to waiters I think that says a lot about you your mutual waiter this says a lot about you what else go ahead, matt but doesn't learn from their mistakes doesn't learn from their mistakes not willing to learn from their mistakes good go ahead, basket back they're not willing to take personal responsibility for the way their life is currently great great, excellent good. So do you see the value in doing this? You'll start to recognize these things and people will start to look for it and this speaks to your question setting expectations if you start with somebody that's ideal, it doesn't necessarily mean they're going to stay ideal because some of the circumstances may change in terms of the way that they're working with you because you didn't set expectations so their values will stay the same, but they don't know that they're not supposed to call you a ten o'clock now if you tell them you may not call me a tenant, then they do then there's something in their value system that might make them less than ideal but we need to make sure manage up to keep people ideal so often tell me if you've seen this happen, tell me if you've seen this happen, you have a sales conversation client says yes and then you just want to start work right away that's it you're just done conversations over they said yes, I'm going to say another word anybody ever do that? If we ever do that, we're not supposed to do that no, you're not supposed to do that. The next part of the process is setting expectations expectations you've heard the expression expectations or resentments waiting to happen expectations air resentments waiting to happen so for example, this person expects to be able to email you attend it, I'll call you a ten o'clock at night and um you start to resent them for doing it and you start tio I feel a little uncomfortable with them and not answer or you don't answer back and smoke a little currently or whatever it is and they start to resent you because you're not answering back the way they want this happens in relationships too, right? Even though you may be ideal for each other, you didn't set boundaries so you need to set those boundaries right from beginning and that takes a lot of courage because usually what happens is when you book the business you don't want to mess it up you don't want to say anything to change their mind yeah don't thank me thank you because you think if I start saying start setting expectations say where you can't text me at ten o'clock at night they go well that's it I'm not doing this but you really do do do do the kind of people that are ideal for you really expect but they should be able to you know you attend a text telling like that night I don't think they expected no right and I need to set the levitate the excuse for myself and for my client but I think you're absolutely right then I think it's great developing friendships with clients I mean I think your clients become your friends but this this boundary is very very important and so that you are always in the position that they hired you to be in which means you don't share what's going on in your life unless it's outside of the business dynamic or they ask you but even so you are very very careful about what you sharing what you don't I believe in absolute transparency as a relates to the need of the client the important distinction absolute transparency as it relates to the need of the client but there's certain things the client does not need to know about you in order for them to progress, there may be something about you that will help them progress that will encourage them that will inspire them, but that is transparency to serve them. Yes question michael, this is a really good question from photo andrea, and I'm curious if you've ever experienced this in your work, can start clients ever turn into deads if you don't manage it? Well, because what happens is you have this people who from a value perspective, we're idea, but because of the way you're handling or not handedly the dynamic you start to resent them because they're not behaving in the way that you want them to. Yet they're behaving that way because they don't know any better because you haven't set expectations. For example, when something comes into one of my programs. In the interview process, I said expectations right from the beginning, so for example, I will say, if you have a need that we're not meeting and you do not tell us that's on you, will you commit to owning that? Because I can't help you unless you tell me what you need, I can do my best to anticipate I've been doing this for a long time, so I have a sense. But if you don't tell me and you resent me for not giving it to you, that's got to be on you. And if they say yes, then we've set that expectation. I will also set of expectations say, something's not working for you. Will you commit right now? Will you commit to telling me and offering some helpful solutions? Because together we're creating this relationship so we should always look at what's working what needs improvement, and any time you come to me with that, I will be open to it. And if I'm doing big programs, I say, look, I might not always be able to say yes, we'll change that because we might decide that's, not something we want to change, but I will always listen and I will always listen openly. You said in the expectations right at the beginning, I'll also say things like, um, I'll talk about the way the group works, the way the dynamic works inside the mentoring programs of the code certification program. Will you fit into this comfortably? Will you behave in this way in the group? I also say, and this is this is a no tolerance policy. I say anybody in any of my programs that ever says anything disparaging about anybody else intentionally is out no tolerance policy. From every once in a while we'll say something that upset somebody, you know, we can't help that every once in a while, but once that pointed out, then we could go on apologize, that's different than intentionally saying something about somebody else, because I need to know that I need everybody in the program to know that they're safe if that I've got their back because they're going to have a breakdown, they're going to need help and they need to feel comfortable coming to the group and say, I need help. So these air expectations that we can set, how many of you guys have a list of expectations that you know you need to set with your clients? E I do not really you have that tomorrow? Yes, good, you will. What about you? You to whom else needs to do this? Raise your hand okay, I'd like to know is how many people at home need to do this for themselves and how many will do this by tomorrow? In fact, how many of them will post these expectations? Where can they post them that we can all see them? Could they tweet them could put them on the face? Facebook would be a great place on facebook. Dot com slash created by facebook dot com forward slash creative life so let's, tell him again specifically what we want them to do, what we want them to do on facebook dot com forward, slash creative life is to write out the expectations that you need to set with new clients, and then how will you manage those expectations? Because every once in a while somebody may stop doing something you expect, how do you have the conversation to get them back to that? So all I want to know is this what's the frequency that you will continue to revisit those expectations. So every ninety days will you have that conversation again? Say, hey, let's, go back to our expectations, make sure I'm meeting your expectations and your meeting my expectations that's how you keep a client ideal that's, how you keep the relationship healthy. So, for those of you online, make sure you write down these are the expectations that I need to set and that I will set and then the frequency. This will be the frequency at which I will have the conversation to continue to you affirm those expectations to set those expectations and continue to manage that sound good, everybody okay, yes, commitment making and fulfilling is the absolute foundational element, any kind of success period. I mean, if you take nothing else away from this entire course over three days, remember this you want to build trust, make commitment and fulfill it, you want to make anything happen, make a commitment and fulfill it think about it, what's a project based on commitments and fulfillment there off I'm going to do this and I'm due by this time. Now I'm going to do this, I'm to do it by this time, if you're somebody who doesn't make commitments, not a lots going happen and people aren't gonna want to play with you if you're someone who makes so many commitments that you don't fulfill on them, not a lot going to happen and people aren't gonna want to play with you, so you can't be afraid to make commitments in fact commitments or what us help us play bigger in the world. They're the things that hold us accountable, they're the things that I do not do anything by myself, because if I do it's not gonna get done, unless it has something to do with my boat, then it will. But if it's work related, I gotta have a partner. I got to have other people, and I'll bring in other people at the earliest possible moment to help shape the outcome, but that's collaboration, commitment making it for philly is very simple concept this is how we build trust I say I'm going to do this and I do it in the next week I sandwiches something else and I do it next week sam into something else and I do it if you can get good and making commence and fulfilling them, you could be successful it almost anything you do, but if you find that you're not following through on a lot of things you said you're going to do, there is your answer there's your personal problem there's the reason that you're not yet where you want to be remember how do you behave in such a way that other people want to help do the things you say you're going to do if matt came to me and said michael, I've got this question and I really want some information can you help? And I give him exactly what he should do the exact answer to his question and I see him six months later and I say hey, how to go matt, did you do what we were talking about? Well, not really think I'm going to give him advice again heck, no that's a huge waste of my time that would never do that he would never do that I can tell so that's why commitment making fulfillment is absolutely essential and it's part of the setting expectations we set the expectations and we both fulfill them and we come back and we read commit we read communicate we we reconnect about these expectations we re articulate them so their new commitments and in the fulfillment there off this is how you keep people away from being duds now of your current client list how many are duds have any dads in here raise your hand if you have done one dead their dads no you don't it's my fault all right? So at home if you have any duds you want to put them on the sheet if you're working on the sheet and you want to start to think about how are you going to either move them back into the ideal category because you think they can be ideal or how we're going to let them go with grace and respect please whatever you do do not say I saw this thing with michael port and he told me to dump my duds so screw you and michael told me to do it please don't do that what do you do? Maybe you find somebody else you can refer them to who would be ideal for them maybe you can say look, I don't think I'm doing my best work with you and I want some I want you to work with somebody who can do their best work with you you know it's not you it's me but you do it kindly and if you've worked with this guy for some time and they want to know honestly what? You know, what's the problem. You know something? Well, what if they keep begging to stay? It doesn't happen a lot, but when they do, if they do, you can tell them honestly. And they might decide at that point to try to make a change. And if they do great and, you know, give him a certain period of time, like in any relationship, you have three months to change that you don't change it, we're done it's confronting, man confronting just don't get yourself in that situation, and then you're okay, you're good, you get high five. All right, so any questions from from the hosts? Do I have one from maurice burke who's in trinidad? Oh, who says in the sales process, should we set those expectations? In a separate meeting for the q and a, I feel that some of them would be set in a contract, and I usually set up a meeting specifically for expectation. Yes, absolutely no, some of them may come up in the sales conversation if you know they're trying to determine how they're gonna work with you, but generally you want to set these expectations after you've booked the business. So you have that commitment. And now, you say, can now let's, sit down and here's how we're going to do our work together. Let's, discuss what you expect for me, what I expect from you and it's. Very important that they tell you what they expect from you. Because it's not fair, teo them to say, you know, but here's, what I expect from you, dude, and not asked that not being all for willing to do the same thing.