Stress is Optional

Lesson 13 of 32

Knowing You: What's Your Vision?

 

Stress is Optional

Lesson 13 of 32

Knowing You: What's Your Vision?

 

Lesson Info

Knowing You: What's Your Vision?

So with all of this you were really talking about knowing you because if you know you you've got so much more power and were not taught to step out and think about this stuff we're taught to produce um and it were even in a lot of our society this is wait this sounds sort of narcissistic almost to stop and say you know, who am I who do I want to be? Um that sounds rather indulgent but in reality no matter what you want to dio if you're more in touch with who you are to do it, you're just stronger to do it. So then you want to think about what you really want to do what's your vision for this when I'd coach individuals or groups um coming up with a strategy, we start with vision first so many of us launch into strategy and goals, but vision is about creating this this concept out there this visual, this mental image of where we're going a a picture going forward this is actually in this written in the stone and an art school up in the mountains of north carolina that is just that's on m...

y my bucket list it's imagine let it go, let it free writing a vision allows you to just play and you can do this if you're at all visual artsy you can do this by writing on paper but it's not this isn't your best path for it. Your breaths path is flipping through pictures, cutting out magazine's, doing starting to notice different things, and feel what resonates and then just talking it out, really talking about saying, you know, you could do this for a year from now, you could do it five years from now or ten years from now, depending on what fits your life right now, for the majority of the world, clients that I work with, who were really trying to deal with the stress we start with five years, because I want people to realize we're so stuck in her stroke, narrowed stress, mind set on getting through today, that next year feels very far away, so I'm really I'm pushing the envelope, I'll say, you know, I want to talk about five years from now, and when you do that, what you're doing is picking yourself up out of the grind of and the narrowed perspective of where you are right now, back up to the bigger picture, what's the vision of what you'd liketo happen, and how can you start to make that happen? So friday night vision can be really fun, and I encourage you to relax, take a little time with it, you can make it in pictures, you can make it in writing, you can dedicate I usedto have one of those like white poster paper that was actually a sticky note paper so you could just stick things onto it I would put words I would put pictures um there's a lot of vision board workshops out there there's airway fun to dio and if you're a writer just write it or if you just want to have it is this conversation that's fine, but thinking where you want to be in a year or five years has fascinated because it's going to then come backwards and tell you what you need to do now for some people they want to start with the vision and then go into the mission and purpose for some people that feels better what I ask is that as you do this you remember intrinsic motivation because if you want this vision to occur this mission to occur and you want to do it with less stress you wanna tap that intrinsic motivation you wanna tap the part of you that feels like you're doing it you're doing it for yourself and you're doing it for your purpose because that's going to be less stressful than pushing yourself. There was an interesting book a few years ago push versus pole um your vision and your mission should pull you forward in your life that feels easier to be pulled into something then to be pushed in pushing pushing towards something you should d'oh and if you don't want to share this with anybody it's yours it's totally yours other people like to share because they feel like it puts it out there give some accountability to it um sometimes we feel sometimes just speaking it gives it more power for us we we start to own it a little bit more so that could be really helpful to just speak it any thoughts on that as you think about what have you done visioning before any of you yeah I've done a vision pullout actually one of the courses the right brain business plan here it creative live I've done through that um and I sometimes it takes me a little bit when I do the vision to get out of my sort of rule following mode so not s o I have all these questions about like well what should the vision include um but I sort of know that ultimately if you understand the greater is like thinking we're gonna be in five years and I'm flipping through pictures things will just call out to me um sometimes I have a little harder time wanting to figure out well, you know what are the five things that should be included in the vision and that kind of thing so that really funny aren't we funny? How well do we like rules? Actually we push against rules and we like rules at the same time on dh we're really funny how we sit down to stuff and we think it should all be should and sometimes you have to get through some of that before the real stuff is allowed out. I'm hope you're starting to see though that as you create your vision if it's one that expresses your values and your strengths it's going to feel better and it's going to feel a whole lot better it's going to be related to your purpose because these are all connected and some people will do the vision first and then they're going to come up with your theme from there but writing this stuff down writing with guides you in the book just writing down what you want your gps or your theme your mission and purpose to be that's going to go on the yearly meeting that's something that you address you khun again you can put it on a sticky note you could put it it's somewhere in the space where you're living here you work because that's going to be that re attention to intention that makes you feel grounded in your authentic self and that's less stressful any questions coming from this good a great comment from laney actually ladies and the chalice saying I'm I'm great creating the vision and I've done them so many times year after year and I have the same dreams I have the same gold but I never actually implement I'm just good at getting excited but I keep dropping the ball I start a month later then I fall off even though these are the things that I most wanted level in their life so tune in tow part three because we're going to take that from what you want toe how you change a habit but the brief answer to that is that you when we created vision board, we're not creating it to do list and we mix those up we mix them up is ah whole huge pile of gold a vision written or as a board is this place that we see ourselves going if you want to get there and get their successfully you want to pull goals out of it and you want to attempt small goals slowly otherwise it is completely overwhelming otherwise it's this picture off me out there and here I am right here and all I know is the gap and I could do forty thousand things to get here but that's just I'm not going to do it there's no way I can keep that up I'm a keep it up for like twenty minutes I have done I can't do that so allow this vision this place out here to determine your path it's it's the lighthouse you've chosen to sail to but then tacked to its small little steps to it tease out a few goals for each year and then a goal for this week and next month and that's how you'll get there so I love that she brought that up because I think this is an important point that, um, vision boarding and creating visions has been very popular and there there are steps from that teo implementing what you want in a supported way so you are so not alone and I quite frankly I've done the same thing and before I realized that the habit change part of it really takes a lot of work because lane has gone on to say is their intention for the year is to turn themselves into a do a person or actually dona dona but don't think doer or donna in the way check done. Thiss okay, so let me pick tiny things to be successful with on aesop is also sharing a frustration because they're saying that they they are, but they know what they're strengthen the values are, but they've actually been through an extended period of stress and hardship which they haven't yet emerged from. So because they're in this sort of negative mode that they're sort of waiting to get back onto solid ground even though they do know what their goals are there waiting for that emergence if you like, so don't confuse the goals with the values in the strength to start and I'm sorry you've been through stressful period what I would do is write down your values and strengths and just sit with him and give yourself a little compassion right now just let them soak in and concentrate on being the rest will unfold with time, but you need to get your strength back after that going through this period and the doing will come from that the goals will come sometimes you have to act as if and do a few little goals, but for the most part on the values and strengths send yourself compassion, you'll get stronger and then you'll be able to deal with it. Now I have a question from thanks poppy, who really would like some clarification? It looks like some of the other people are chattering was saying the same thing they are finding some of the terms there are very closely related, so they're getting a bit confused. Cindy, could you review your own examples of your personal values strength, purpose, mindset, gps fishing except it's? Just the people I meet around you basically already been so value's um mine came out to be to be love and be loved appreciation of art and beauty or appreciation of beauty and I forget that what that was helping others um that's my way that as of the things that air corps important to me, the strengths are the way that I do that I'm I'm creative um I'm a strategic thinker I have a blend of right and left brain sorts of things to do that and um and sometimes I'm have perseverance it's and I procrastinate not a strength those of my values those are my strengths my mission is really to empower other individuals to be authentically kind to themselves and others and thrive I want to empower other people to thrive that's a mission statement it's very lofty sounding it doesn't have the specifics specifics would you know how am I going to do that? Those would be goals my vision is that in five years okay I'm putting it out there in five years I'm actually leading off site trips that include travel and fun experiences we as we do these activities and then continue with coaching is a group when we return that's a vision for myself there are other parts to my vision there's a fabulous relationship in that vision and tons of travel and all the things that I want to happen as well as I want to continue to become stronger in my own strengths and values more grounded in it to continue to grow my spiritual practice my meditation et cetera that's vision now goals come out of that that that's all out there what I need to do to get there I need to be more uh not religious I need to be more diligent mohr more accountable to my meditation practice what is the goal in this three months? And I'm doing it I tease the goals back to three month steps you want to pick tiny steps and this will be the third part if you're really interested in this from that big vision of who I want to be in the purpose of why I want to be that I want to tease out the steps of how to get there and that's gold setting, which is a topic we're really going to cover in depth I hope that helps if there more questions from that yeah, yeah appreciate it so the vision is the picture out there, the mission is your why that's driving you your values are who you are and your strength or how you operate best thank you do I hope that and the theme is just a word that reminds you of it all um because we're forgetful and we're busy we're way way busy so really this is again something that I said in the previous session this is taking time out of your life to put you on your calendar this is time out to strategize you if you had a company, you would take a company meeting once a year and you would look at what's working in that company, you would also look at what needed some revision in that company you would make a strategic plan this is the big strategic plan for you so it's putting you back on your calendar and that reduces stress because when we get off of all this stuff is when we wind up in the weeds and we're digging out, trying to get something done to feel purposeful and when you don't feel purposeful, that feels horrible, that feels stressful, it really we are purpose driven people, so I hope that that really pull some of that together for everybody. I would like to switch from this process that we did and come back to the concept of the guided visualization or the breath work or something that helps ground you in this, and I want to put a little bit of this together. So say you've done this activity and you're a tad overwhelmed because you've worked on your awareness, you say, wow, I'm starting to feel a little tension, and I might be a little overwhelmed by this. I need to chill out, I need to cool down to power up my brain again or to get I want to be more I'm stuck, maybe I get to part of this and I'm stuck and I think, you know, I can hear my inner critic just going to town here you know well you should feel like this you should have these values and I realize I'm stuck and I start to get tense and I want to cool it down I want to come back to some of the skills toe actually do that because I think the more we practice um the better so I want to do a five five five breath together so I had him plant your feet on the ground on dh put a hand on your lower belly and take a feud just deep slow breaths in and become aware of the breath coming in your nostrils it's nice and cool and coming down to your belly let it come a little low in your lungs maybe than it had been coming and take a deep breath in and inhale two three four five hold two three for five and out two three, four, five in check in physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually hold two three four five out two three four five in what do you need right now in this moment hold two three for five out two three four five in who do you want to be in this moment hold two, three, four, five out two, three four five then let your breath come back to normal how's that feel just get a little smile on the end she's quiet but she smiles that's nice so this tool this breath work tool or doing a repeating your theme or mantra or putting your hand to your heart and just checking in or sending a sin a little self love these are all the things you can do when you're doing the big stuff and you feel a little tension come up when when people said, you know, I get to the values and I don't want to pick you know, pause, pause in that moment and let your physiology relax your mind in your emotions it really works, it really does and it takes seconds I mean, we're not talking a big thing and nobody even needs to know you're doing it if you're being watched it, this isn't a big deal, but you can check in and just say, you know, maybe I get to the strengths and I feel kind of triggered um I can check in what am I one of my feeling physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually what I need right now what that's going to do is open your mind back up again because remember, stress is closing and relaxing is opening and this is an open exercise this issue free spirited being you and being comfortable with being you so if you're telling your values to somebody and it feels a little, do it you know, do your exercise and let it be or maybe you need some compassionate that moment of you know, I feel anxious saying this just self comfort for a moment, but the hand there and just self comfort for second send that energy it really, hugely, hugely empowers you. One other word about doing this type of an exercise these things can be fun to do is a family they can be fun to do is a work group or a group of friends? Um, wine can be included there to do to share the values in the strength I've done this with groups, and we've had some hysterical and fun and really empowering conversations, and you find people support you in a way when you say your strength to somebody else, it can feel awkward at first, but it's really supported, and it can be really empowering to a work group. Um, even if it's just you and one assistant that you use or somebody you know, a mastermind group or group you powell with over your business, it could be a really fun thing to do, so share it, um, it will make you stronger. So what we're going to do from here is we've created this was a lot like what was in the yearly meeting sound familiar, doesn't it? The yearly meeting of why am I here? What do I want this year to be about and what's it going to look like? And from here now we're goingto go forward and talk about what we can do with the full plate that we have, okay, so I have this beautiful vision I want to do these things and I want these things to happen, but meanwhile I had a full plate, you know, how am I going to do that? So we're going to go through and talk about clearing off this plate a bit and then working with the attitude about what's on that plate and then just getting stronger because some of the goals for the year majors be there's some years in which we don't need to push forward as much as we need to renew that khun b renew can be a great theme for a year. I got some lovely comments overnight about that comment from the one particular business owner who actually got to the point of adrenal fatigue, which a dream ofit remember stress causes court is all to be relaxed, released from your dream glands and sent on top of your kidneys back here and adrenal fatigue is a rather new diagnosis and somewhat side diagnosis is the physiologic burn out, and so her year is about renewing and that's a lovely thing renewing is a fabulous thing in the face of auto immune disorder's. Um, that could be a great choice. So we're going to be putting these things together so that they fit into creating this life.

Class Description

Panic, anxiety, and stress are paralyzing emotions that can stand in the way of the life you want. Freeing yourself from the grip of these toxic thoughts and feelings will give you clarity you can use to make better business and life decisions. Join nationally recognized stress expert Dr. Cynthia Ackrill for a course that will give you powerful tools to relieve stress and develop greater emotional resilience.

Everyone has to negotiate difficult life circumstances – financials problems, conflicts, and business challenges are woven into the fabric of everyday life. Small business owners and entrepreneurs are especially vulnerable to feeling overwhelmed. Learn how to manage life’s ups and downs using insights from stress management research and positive psychology and you will bounce back more quickly from life’s inevitable setbacks. In this course, you will develop a framework for evaluating your stress levels and your behavioral responses, and then identify cues you can use to get back on course. Dr. Ackrill will explain the physiological impact of stress and offer techniques for minimizing the disruption it can have on your body and life.

Stress, worry, and anxiety lead to procrastination and burnout, which cause more problems--and more worry. You can stop the cycle. Join us for Stress is Optional and learn an effective, proven approach to relieving stress for good.

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