Put Yourself on the Calendar
Well remember that you are a system the human being is a system but today I'm going to talk about a system of creating a system for you there is no magic one system for everybody that works to make your life work so if that's the expectation right now when I'm like get the big eraser out and say get over it there's not just one system that's perfect but there is a system that's perfect for you so I'm going to go through some ideas but I want you to just look at them and as you hear them pick up the pieces that work for you and just start to think of your life as a system you're stepping out of it it's like your own personal little offsite step out of your life and look at the bigger picture of it and say how can I make my life go closer to the way I want it to go so that I have less stress, more flow and I'm getting to my goals I'm doing those things I want to do so it's it's really about system izing your attention to that it's not about plugging into you know if I just go from point ...
a to b to c to d guess what life isn't going to go from a to b to c today it's about creating a way to systemized your awareness of where you are, how you are and take back that choice so I welcome your questions and suggestions along way because we're all evolving with us together, and I think that's a huge point is that somebody else may have a question that you didn't even think to ask and when you hear it, you go, oh yeah, that's exactly what I want to know about that's what's been going on? Sometimes we don't even know how to name what the issue is for us, so so far we've talked about increasing our awareness, putting that light back in the dashboard and having a way to say, you know, am I a little bit stressed or not? And if I'm a little bit stressed, you know exactly how I'm I physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually what I need. Then we talked about ways to cool down to power up, and now we're going to talk about ways to create a longer range strategy so that the future has less stress because one version of this is crisis management, you know, and my stress oh my god, I am stressed and, you know, how do I stop it? And the other virgin is howto I really create a life that has less of les crises, which crises could possibly be averted, so that starts with starting to put you back on your calendar now I work with just really top level people who have calendars that are managed by more than one assistant and we'll sit down and we'll go through and look and say excuse me where are you on this? I see your meeting with x y and z where are you where's yourself care where is your time to do the things that really make you happy no, that sounds you know I'm not saying you can change everything about your job and you're going to have me time from two to four but their places there are places where you can get you back on your calendar where you khun clean it up a little bit like cleaning the plate that we did earlier they're places where you can clean up your calendar a little bit and just feel more in control of it because if stresses feeling out of control getting you back on your calendars feeling more in control and you do it with compassion who do it with humor because it's not old will be perfect a sense of play and a little bit of curiosity so everybody's seen this quote before the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results oddly, I always thought einstein said this and I I google it then found out that it's apparently falsely attributed to him but it is true how many of us repeat the same stress situation over and over sometimes we call it the holidays this way we have these like dances thie stress dances we do with certain people or with certain issues in her life and it's like we know that when we come across this person I'm going to feel stressed out because she always acts like this I always act like this and we do the dance um so how can I you know I deserve that stress because I'm doing the same dance how can I change the dance that begs the question then what does it take to really thrive so if you're not going to be stressed you're thriving mean you're going to really thrive what does it take to feel like you're choosing to thrive well starts with knowing a little bit more about you really knowing you self development is the part that is left out of our education systems out of our leadership programs but we get a chance to know ourselves and I don't mean that obsessive sitting at home analysing ourselves I mean knowing what makes us thrive when we know what we really value, what our strengths are and we'll be doing this in another session we're going to actually go through the exercises and I'll say this right now and I'll say it again I would love for you to do the workbook values and strength exercises the strength is an on line one I'd love for you to do those before the next session, that would really be helpful to a lot of fun to do um but when you were really in touch with your values and your strength, you know who you are, you know what makes you tick and when you ask yourself why you're here what's your purpose well, guess what, you just tapped your own intrinsic motivation and you're making it clear and why are you here? I can remember the first time somebody asked me that and I thought, well, what do you mean what I mean, here I was born, you know, but that's a little different than why am I here? What what am I on this earth to do? Then? Think about how you work best? There are eighteen billion systems out there for how to do it well, there's an isle in the bookstore on how to work more effectively, but guess who has the most information about how you work effectively? You do so it's not about finding thie perfect book it's about knowing how you work and adapting around that if you're a morning person, if you're an evening person, if you're a person who needs to be sitting in the middle of noise, if you're a person who doesn't, if you need to be inspired by certain things are other things you know how you work best you also know what your own challenges are we know our enemies we know what trips us up we it were intimately familiar with our inner critic one of the biggest bigger trips but we also know where we go offline somebody mentioned spending time on the computer or a gaming nor I know better then to turn my ipad on in bed at ten thirty at night when I need to go to sleep do I still do it sometimes I'll do but I know that that's not my best thing to do so most nights I don't I want teo I never stopped wanting to I still want to be amused by it but I most of the time she was not too so I know what my challenge in that area is and I know what some of my bigger challenges are what can get to myself doubt the fastest and then how to best manage your energy to meet these challenges we talk so much about time management what I'm going to talk about right now is a little bit of time management but it's really like stress management energy management how are you going to manage your physical mental emotion shal spiritual are you sick of me saying that yet energy how are you gonna men? How are you going to maintain these forces these life forces within you that you have enough to meet your life and that involves thinking about how you think now I worked in a psychology office for ten years, so I got to see a lot of different kinds of thinking from the, um, somewhat rational to the wow that's impressive irrational uh but we'll have styles of thinking we have typical reactions we have to think and you know what it is for you? You already know that. So as you go through starting to think about having a meeting with yourself, I want you to think about how you think so that you can support your best thinking, you know, when you're doing your better thinking and you know, when you're doing your less better thinking and you know, when you're doing your really pit thinking it's really, why am I stuck on that? You know, you know this you also know how you work best you can think of that time when I asked you to think of a time when you were in flow you if you think more and more about it, you can think of those moments of what set you up to get there so you could do it more often because the bottom line is you want to know how to spend this precious time energy and focus that's yours you're spending it so so do that with choice now can you choose all of it? Absolutely not. Some stuff has chosen for you, but a lot of energy choice can be yours. A lot of it. And if you just shifted a little bit, you wind up feeling better. This is not black and white this's playing in the grey zone. And as I said, you know what gets in your way? You know where you get stuck, so you ca start to get a little more proactive about getting stuck in the third session. We're going to talk a whole lot about this. This is back to the voices in your own head, but what if what? Just quickly, what are some of the themes you hear that get you stuck from doing your best work? What is your inner critic have to say, there's a procrastination? Hey that's a big one, I would guess that that's, not your inner critic saying it your inner critic is saying should have oh yeah, or you need more information to do a good job for it or you won't be able to do a good job right now. That type of thing, right? Okay, huh? Procrastination. I'll touch on just briefly here and we'll do a little bit more of it, but procrastination comes often from fear that we're not going to do the job that we want to do it's very closely related to perfectionism I can procrastinate the heck out of something cause I'm afraid I'm not gonna pull it off the way I want to do it I can I was an art major I could sit in front of an empty piece of paper for you know how long? Because because I had this stupid, irrational vision of what was going to occur and so I didn't do it and then there's anxiety because it's dio right? Yeah, yeah uh what else does an inner critic say? Uh, that was a stupid decision. Yeah, yeah here's a stuck on decisions very stuck on that. Yeah, yeah, isn't it funny it has that voice in there and, you know we keep it such importance. Yeah way really dio on I want you to say right now thank you, inner critic thank your inner critic because your inner critic got you motivated to begin with when you were little get school and you didn't want to do something your inner critic said ah, you got to do this it got us where we are but then we start to give it too much strength or we forget to talk back and say, you know what? Now's not the time for that conversation now online in the critics have got lots of answers I'm not good enough seems to be the one that's the biggest the biggest one of all I don't know where to start because no one come up you don't deserve the possible success so just give up now on dh what if you fail what if you fail your failure yeah yeah so we're going to talk a whole lot more that but thank you for sharing those um know that they're there so that's just part of who you are and if you want to create a system that gets beyond that doesn't let your inner critic win or be right you're gonna have a system to disrupt that because that's what we do we trip ourselves up so we gotta disrupt that and get ourselves back to being proactive so I'm asking you to spend is point zero three six five percent of your time that's you're awake in a working world on planning your life is that unreasonable? How many people have a financial plan or how many people should have a financial plan way have financial plans? We have strategy plans at work we have planning meetings for housing we have planning blah blah blah blah blah we so seldom stop and plan us we're so good at the extremes plan and the intrinsic plan gets ignored and if we want to make a plan where we're less stressed it doesn't take a lot of time but it does take a system where we check in and that's what I'm going to talk a little bit about so it's not much time we're going to talk about changing the balance and that occurring in this model so that we can step in to these different places as we go forward now I'm goingto move away from the slides and into the workbook for now because in the workbook um I have on page fourteen meeting with yourself and this ability to put you back on your calendar, which lets you switch from that reactive living too proactive living so yearly I suggest you actually have a retreat now some people even do this quarterly and you can use this kind of a workbook for that it's a perfect sort of thing, but I actually have a yearly map in here under the meetings in the handouts um which I do have marked so if you have a meeting with yourself, what would you do but what you do during that you're you're having an off site, you step out of your life and you as almost a ziff you're looking at somebody else's you look at it and say isn't going the way I wanted to go and what parts of it are an art it's really an amazing thing to do and I'm going to ask kate a question do I have the meeting parts in here? The meeting handouts I do thank you I thought I had so on page thirty four is a sample of a yearly meeting template I use the word template loosely create your own these are ones I made up based on coaching theory and concept of what to do, but this is your own. So on page thirty four, start the templates I'm asking that you take a yearly meeting with yourself and here's something really important about it make it fun this's a drudgery this's a you deciding to be in your life it should be the most exciting and fun thing you d'oh put on good music maybe for the glass of one thiss issue taking time for yourself because you're the most important part of your life and you're the most important part of your stress management tool if there's no other tool that's available for you to fight stress than you. So how about looking at you? Did I get that across you thin monthly so the years meeting khun take like half a day a day is great the whole day is great. Combine it with a walk or you know just making a lovely event monthly take an extra thirty minutes toe look at your month weekly take thirty minutes toe look at your week ahead this is probably one of the most effective things I've done with clients that I've coached is we've put in the weekly meeting it's huge, because we tend to crash through the weekend start about sunday at three, we start to dread the week ahead if you're on the monday or friday calendar, and we're at that point, the minute we start to dread the week ahead. Guess how many chemicals are starting to be released into our system to prep us for the defense of not being safe because our weakest full we're already starting the cycle, and so this is a way to step out of that then every day, five minutes in the morning and five minutes in the evening could make a huge difference in your life just a huge difference. So it's really not much of your life. So I have some questions in here to ask yourself when you're doing these sorts of meetings were going to be using something called a gps, which we're going to really develop in really well in our next session, but that's your goals, your purpose in your strengths, using those to guide your life, because if we have, if you drive somewhere with a gps on you, we don't need to think anymore we put the gps and the phone never done, we don't need to think about what you know is this south or west. It does it for us. Well, when you have a gps for your life, it makes your decisions a whole lot easier because then you're then you're deciding according to who you are and what you want ask yourself when you have these meetings am I on the calendar at all? Especially the weekly meeting? Do I see me hear? Do I see going to the gym or time with my friends? Is it there? Can I fit it in somehow? And I will promise you that more often than not when I work with clients who say there is no time for me, we find it it's a matter of playing around with stuff, you kind of get creative and this is called creative live, so I'm asking you to get creative. Is there white space? Because without white space we can't really function white spaces when we're creative, white space is when we are have room for flexibility that we need it's when we take the pause do you know your brain needs a pause of a point? Two second pause after a neuron fires in order to load back up the chemicals that are in the brain for it to fire again? So if you send information ahead of the pause that's required, you don't learn it backfires our brain only stays on for about ninety minutes and then after that period of time it shuts down and has to reboot everything but it's in the shutdown. It's in the spaces it's during your sleep that learning is integrated and the same is true for a life we have to have some pause is we have to have some white space so that all the meat that's in the not white space gets integrated into a useful way makes a huge difference. And it's funny, I remember catching this one one woman in particular, and she showed me your calendar and mean her meetings were just absolutely overlapping. There was there was not a bit of white space in this except like three a m and we played around with it and got got there by being creative and by her learning some things were gonna work on in another session learning two sets a better boundaries and just say no and to pick meetings a little more proactively, um there ways to do it and if the payoff is huge and that is their flexibility because guess what? Your plan on sunday by wednesday, where is it going to be? You have to readjust it just that's life and one of the biggest stressors I say, especially from high achievers who tend to be a little in the controlling side is the stress that what they set out to do didn't happen I just expected to change and be flexible which breaks first in the storm they brittle tree or the flexible tree the brittle trace of flexibility will really decrease your stress then ask yourself this key question am I looking forward to enough things on this calendar because if you're not if this calendar is one huge pilot should doug I mean that just doesn't feel good it doesn't feel good anywhere and in fact some of us are so calendar phobic at this point we don't look we don't want to know we want somebody to tell us where we need we just pay attention to the alerts that come up on the phone where do I need to be in five minutes because we look at the whole picture were afraid we would freak out so I'm asking you to get over the fear of the freak out maybe take some breaths astro open questions and then look at the big picture and see what you can do about it so turning to page thirty four the yearly calendar there's you'll see sort of a system to this and feel free to edit modify sir suggests to me and I I welcome your comments. One of the coolest things as you start to go forward is to ask what you're already doing well there's something called appreciative inquiry that has come out of the world of positive psychology and it shows us that when we focus on what we've done well, we empower our next success it's really quite phenomenal. So I played with that in some meetings that I did I told you about this contentious group that we didn't organizational effectiveness project for him we went in, they are angry, we went around the room and we asked everybody why they came to work here and what they love about working here. And of course, you know, if it starts off with a little of this, why is she asking me that for that? Sounds like it we will weigh, but by the time we got around the room, the temperature of the room changed. People remembered why they were there and then when we did around of what was working, what were the winds going on? They got so much more creative about dealing what worked with what weren't wins, they got far more creative. You broaden your perspective when you ask yourself what's working and that's a really, really powerful thing to do so starting your own meeting just like he would start another meeting starting your own meeting with what was a wind from last year because, you know, we say we learn from our mistakes we can learn from our winds to we learn what works is there a question coming from, you know, so what did you learn from your winds? And then what did you learn from last year's challenges? Because they aren't all wins. There's some things we set to do a out to do the begin the year that we just blow there's some pads, we go down when we make those decisions, and and we say we're pretty far down the path of mago thiss isn't the right path. What did you learn from it? What did you learn about why it wasn't the right path and what? How can you use that as research and data as opposed? Teo? Well, there's, a reason I've failed it's how what? What did you learn from doing it? And then what part of that growth do you want to carry forward? Who are you when you're at your best? What did you learn about yourself that you want to carry forward into the year? So we're goingto work, um, in the next session on doing a gps and fill out some of this and here the links for the values exercise and the links for the strength exercise that I'd love for you to do before the next session, and we'll fill in the top values and strengths on another sheep, but into your yearly meeting, you could do this yearly, reminding ourselves of our values is huge, it's, your brand it's, why you do what you do in a sense because you want these values to be carried forward you believe in honesty or you believe in integrity or you believe in beauty there's no judgment to the value but it's the things you stand for and then your your strength always good to focus on your strengths so yearly you remind yourself of those things. In fact, I have most of my clients write their strengths and values on a sticky note that's somewhere in their view for most of the day but that, um these air external websites the authentic happiness dot com will quickly re about you teo university of pennsylvania which school of positive psychology you take the via a character's strengths assessment and it's really fun to do it takes about twenty minutes if it gives you twenty four character strength ranked can I just say this right now? Number twenty four is not your weakness okay, high achievers look at this and say, oh why didn't I have number twenty four? And I must admit I did that at first too because when I did my strengths and they came out like I like beauty and love and I'm thinking, oh my gosh flake it's really what happened? Teo industriousness so don't judge your strength they're all good it's just the ones from which you operate and if truth be told when I operate from my strengths of appreciation of beauty and creativity on stronger I am truly stronger then when I try and do what I should do if I'm judging myself so I encourage you to take that and I also would share that if you take it on the same page is a link for the character strength the eye character spring test for kids doing this is a family activity is way cool and having a discussion about that about what came out it's so empowering I've also had work teams do it and share I've had work team to do it and switch some of their job descriptions because when they go to do if they realize you know what I'm really good at this part why don't I take that and you take this um really think cool thing to dio and it could be uncomfortable to do this at first you know I'm like so focused on me we have this self judgment it's a societal one that that's kind of egocentric this's about making you stronger and if you're stronger you can contribute more so you're giving the world more this is not egocentric this is building up the best tool that is you so get over just let that integrate falko by said thank you for speaking I've got it from here and then this next page page thirty six really truly important what do you want what do you want your vision of yourself to bay if you had the proverbial magic wand and you wanted to create a life maybe within the next year no maybe you want to do a five year vision where do you want a head you've got the steering wheel you don't always get to choose the road but you've got the steering wheel where do you want to aim I used to use up I love sailing tasters love sailing analogies it's like which which lighthouse you go in for you're gonna have to tak to get there but what are you hanging on that lighthouse? Where do you want to be now a lot of people start having some anxiety at this point saying they don't know what I want to be that doesn't matter your visions made him plato first of all you use pencil if that makes you feel better you can erase you can change it you can edit it every month if you'd like but set it out there set a course of what you want because if stresses feeling out of control at first you have to say what you want what do you want to control? I think a lot of us wind up really stressed out because we're controlling things that don't even matter to us how about we used the control energy and worry on the things that really matter like what we really want big stuff really big stuff and it takes some time to set out if you don't want to do this alone from worksheets or workbook do it with someone do it with a coach do it with a friend have the discussion if that feels better it doesn't matter how you do it it really really truly does not matter how you do it it's that you brought your attention all of your little neurons your frontal lobe engaged to deciding what you want and then deciding what your mission or purpose is because that's really her gps and writing it down I I went with a coach friend of mine into ah ah fast food restaurant that in well I won't malign an area okay so this fast food restaurant had about the worst service I've ever had it was dirty it's not bad we were desperate we were in the middle of nowheresville and it was just a horrible horrible service and of course the mission statement of the company is written on the wall the customers number one this is our mission the black just elected but okay maybe he doesn't read because this is horrible that kind of mission does no good most companies have a mission statement that many companies have a mission statement that isn't an action statement this is more of a real purpose I want to be a person who with who does this in the world make it a actionable why are you here? I like most physicians at a young age wrote on my application to medical school that I wanted to help humans well it's true I dio and the way I do it has shifted through the years but it's still a driver for me and that sounds really generic um and I've modified it over the years but it's a driver for me it's my intrinsic motivator then from that you're gonna pick your theme and we're gonna do this in depth in the next session you're gonna pick something that reminds you of that mission so you can use it again and write it down so you do all this once a year and we're going to go through it step by step in the next session from that mission that vision you pick some goals for the year what do you want accomplish this year and you make them reasonable you know, I I want to learn to speak a language is not happening this year, so I'm not going to write it down as my goal for this year pick something that's reasonable for this year and then prioritize them there's been a lot written about prioritization lately and that is a frontal lobe function to rank what is most important in the moment is a frontal lobe function now if a car starts to veer over into our lane lane, that gets priority and we go to our lower brain to do that, but for the rest of our life the priorities we choose if we choose the mindfully really matter so rank your goals that you want to make for that year and then moving forward what's the best mindset you know your mindset you know how to do this so I don't want you actually really completely doing this now this is this is time alone away um jot notes that's great, but this is time alone for you to do this. Um I'm going to in another session talk about taking a habit all the way through and that's gotta separate work sheet that you can do with your goals you know what gets in your way and you can make a plan for them what's going to empower you in the in the face of them and then what is your self care? I'm on page thirty nine what isthe yourself care gonna look like for this year? How are you going to take care of yourself physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually? So let me say a word right now about the word resolution I am not talking you do this on january first and you make new year's resolutions I'm talking about you look at who you are, where you are and what you need and save yourself this year I need to support myself more physically and we tease goals out of that in the pages that follow resolutions fail and we'll spend a lot of time on why resolution fails this is about creating a statement of your needs what do you want for yourself this year? What would make you feel whole? What would make you feel less stressed? What if I asked your mighty khan drea of a little energy bodies of yourselves? What would they say that they need more off if I asked the emotional center of your brain? What does it need more off? What would it say? And then on page forty how you gonna hold yourself accountable to this self care? How are you going to check in? And maybe even more importantly, who's on your team? We're going to get support for this because guess what, we're team players we may try and be islands, but we're team players so who is on your team? And I mean your true friends I do not mean your frenemies we all know what the frenemy does so there's a checklist that goes with this to keep you on track with the different parts uh, kind of about your level of commitment if you take a few hours and really pour through this gino, what a gift you have given yourself and I walk please contact me through my website um or however, if you come up with great ideas from this I love gathering them I want to make this a supportive to you, so I've tried to keep it as open as possible the values exercises actually printed in this book on forty once you can do that overnight and remember that you convey al you everything but you're picking the ones that are you're sort of signature values so that's the yearly exercise it think it was on in a moment on dh maybe I went backwards there's the monthly template and there is ah daily template and I probably went backwards. I did, I started for the year okay, so I am going to go backwards through the book because you are all very flexible and can do that I'm going backwards so you've set your europe monthly you're going to check in. What are your winds from the last month? What are the challenges? This should look familiar? Look over your year that you set out I'm sorry great thank you for asking. Thirty asai do the awkward foot through look over your year plan what good is a plan if you don't want to hear and you never look at it again, it doesn't do any good so monthly take a look at it and check in with your goals and your habits do yourself care check in whatever goals you'd set for yourself note your progress is page thirty two what do you need for this coming month? Where are you? What do you need for this coming month? Do you feel that the shift in that of going from I should to what do I need to be my best and that this really doesn't take that much time? Once you've done one, it really doesn't it's a check in it's just what I call the re attention to your intention I say that a lot re attention to your intention so the yearly one was setting up your intention and then you're giving it re attention that's what wires up your neurons to create habits that support the behaviors that create the life you want that's what it's about and when you create habits that make you feel less stress, we'll go through picking a lot of those in the next session when you create habits that make less stress than the end of the year year, your lighter you're happier and you're further along to your intention. So however you want this to look for you, a monthly check in is a really valium will thing and I I said maybe thirty minutes for um that's not a lot in a month he really isn't a lot of in a month but actually put it on your calendar and make it a repeating thing make it have an alarm make it sacred people don't step on this and if they do step on this space I have a backup plan because I'm not skipping it I'm not skipping me because I'm the most important tool in my life because the minute you skip you you've already said it sent a message to you that you don't matter and if one of our main drivers is to feel like we matter and one of the bigger stressors is when other people make us feel like we don't matter who do we have to make us feel like we matter most that's tough that's tough were not trained for that and I'm telling you right now matter matter to yourself it's a good good thing so then weekly I'm now backed up to page twenty eight in the reverse mode this should look very familiar by now what were your winds from the last week this is quick you just jot them down you know I made it I made it to my fun manicure party with my friends it doesn't have to be you know I solved world peace if you do please email me I would really appreciate that it's in bravo this doesn't have to be the big wins it could be that I carved out an hour last week in which I got to work on my long range project that I hadn't been touching what are your winds? What were the things you learned a little bit more do yourself care check in yourself care is a term we don't even throw around much caring for yourself is not self fish did you hear that caring for yourself is not selfish if the biggest gift you can give is to be present for somebody else than caring for yourself is part of the package it really is and it's a way of nurturing in a way of giving that's critically important there's a um I feel for the person who wrote in about retiring and then having to deal with and alzheimer's parent um and there's an awful lot in the literature now we're finally seeing the burnout that comes from caring for others and the answer to that is to build yourself care into it the true answer is to give as much character yourself that you need to give to others you gotta fill the well to be able to give the water um and this is a way to make sure this is accountability to making sure you're doing that it also it's amazing some of the insights I've heard is people started the weekly meeting is the one that as I've done the most with clients, I do the yearly meeting with them in my coaching and pretty much monthly so the weekly is the one they have to take out on their own and the insights that come from it that after a few weeks of doing it they'll say you know what I realized I probably have more leeway my schedule than I ever thought I did and sometimes well coach around that we'll play a fun game in the next session about how to say no but we become these whipped dogs we have learned helplessness we look at our calendar every day and we expect it's bad we expect that were not there and then we expected to the point we don't even ask for it that's sad that's really sad um so this is taking that back just take it back you can look att time management in this you know, update your to do list every week we tend to keep stuff on there this long bone we tend to let it just weigh us down update your to do list once a week this does not take a lot of time because you're doing it on going it really doesn't take a lot of time find anything you can delete two for delegate um some exercises will be doing and then ask yourself what would be a win this week just what would be a win this week a win this week for me is that I close my house and I just did it so you know what's your wind and celebrated that's a cool thing so now I'm backing up once again, should find the daily check in this is on page twenty six you can I use index cards? I have a big to do list that is on a big piece of paper now. A lot of people work really well electronically on how to keep track of these things. I don't because I I'm an experiential learner and I also in a kinesthetic I learned by writing. So when I write my list, I do a whole lot better than when it's elektronik but some people are entombed elektronik it doesn't matter. You can make this an electronic function or you could do it personally. But what you're doing here is just checking in twice a day. This isn't a lot to ask. How are you? And this is another way to use questions with the five, five, five first, first breath in because you can multi task I, um this is a place where you can multi task, but I call it multipurpose ing and just a quick word on that multi tasking things that are complicated, our brain does not do well. We pay attention to mostly one thing, innit? Time now can we have background music on and be reading, of course we can, they're not high demands on her frontal lobe. Can we take a breath and ask herself a question at the same time? We can do that? I'm calling that's acceptable multi tasking the multi tasking where we're doing five things at once, just about every study shows it's pretty darn ineffective multi purpose ing is using the same time period to get more than one thing done in a coordinated fashion it's a little different than multitasking teo an example of that deciding in the evening after dinner to take a walk is a family is getting exercise in family time in connection in at the same time, it's a multipurpose walk taking a walk at lunch can be a weight reducer. It can be a focus achiever, it could be getting out into nature. It can do multiple things. That's multi purpose ing this's I'm asking you to multi purpose with taking time because we're busy, they don't have a lot of time, but if you take a few minutes and you do several of the five, five, five breaths and on that first breath, how am I takes milliseconds? How am I physically, mentally, spiritually, mostly just speed through him? Who do I want to be? Who do I want to be today to set your intention for who you want to be today? That's the first step now I've done this I've said my intention for who I want to be that day and by about eight thirty the you know what has hit the unit would and I'm off but I've developed my weirdest enough to know I'm there and I need to regroup, but I'm certainly better than if I hadn't sent an attention like jump out of bed and what I used to do is you know, before I'm out of bed check every email and start reacting before I'm out of bed I mean okay no at least take a breath take a breath check in with yourself ask who you want to be and think about your habit goals that you're working on this may be we're going to spend a lot of time in havoc als this may be one thing of you know I'm going to take an actual break for fifteen minutes at lunch just you gotta look at that intention again and check in with it what I must do for you today this is this is what I have to do today of all the things this is my number one priority for the day and that just gets your mind starting to prioritize better and glanced over your schedule you know, are there any opportunities to adjust my schedule for the day and at the end of the day and this one's really interesting clients have had some fun with this closing out the day putting on end on the day would solve a lot of people sleep problems because we don't close the day intentionally closed the day we're leaving our brain, holding it all night long. So by closing the day, what I mean is right down this two duis that came up during the day instead of trying to carry me around in your brain, just make sure you've captured them it's about the capture, make sure they're captured so you don't have two, three and go and who hasn't done that, e I forgot you're not going to get him all if you get eighty percent, you're doing really, really well, but try getting the practice of just capturing them to close him and look glance over tomorrow's schedule so, you know, what's coming up and what revisions you might need to do right here and there, we're talking minutes to do this, not a lot of time, just minutes. So do you see the flow of this that we have yearly? You've set this bigger picture what's your big, her picture going to look like monthly. You're checking in with that bigger picture and you're pro actively looking at the month ahead to see if it if it's on tracked without, if you need to revise something weekly you're looking at your week to see what's coming up so that you feel a little more in control of it and then daily, you're just checking in on my okay, what we need to do. Howto I just just sitting with this is enough to say, I'm the one doing it. It's not being done for me. Now, a lot of us have schedules handled handed to us by somebody else, but that doesn't mean we don't have that space in which to say, I'm the one who's doing that schedules. So I'm gonna look at it proactively.