Why Does Stress Fry My Brain? And Q&A
Probably one of the biggest challenges to us with his stress system is that it's completely dependant on our perception and our perception is pretty wacky we think we know what we're seeing we think we know what we're hearing and you know twelve jurors sit there and here twelve different stories about what happened we think we know what we're seeing when I first downloaded this I actually went up to the computer with my piece of paper and held it to meet those lines those pink lines they're parallel but our brain doesn't put that together well we have optical and emotional and mental illusions everywhere we look because our brain is only making that world as we manufacture it so how we manufacture it changes and con's make the stick a snake and a snake a stick with the same stimulus our perception changes there's a very popular thing out there now the doing the fire walking actually it's been around from a long time but it's very popular now fire walking for empowerment you walk over h...
ot coals and it's very liberating this intense surge of positive strong emotion from walking over hot coals that is not a stress reaction that's the same is when you've had a a really lousy day you go home you're heating up something you really don't want to eat you burned yourself on the pot what comes out of your mouth at that moment it doesn't go live it exact same physical stimulus hot temperature plus skin one of them has the perception of this is an empowering thing on one of them has I'm just a victim of my own life so perception is huge and that's where we can play when we find these places where we can play and change it another challenge to our system is that we've taken the lightbulb out of our check engine light how many of you all have driven around the check engine light on why why don't we go get a checked? Well it's going to be expensive we're kind of uncertain what it's about we're not really sure it really matters it's and we can't feel anything I mean the car is running I can't feel anything is wrong with the car why isn't telling me the stupid check engine light's on well this is the same for us we can't feel a lot of this stress stuff going on it's silent it's silently stealing stuff from us our health or our emotions or a choice it's taking away those things so we want to take him back added to this we have the society that rewards us for incredibly unhealthy behaviors incredibly unhealthy behaviors I was searching through some slides for pictures of people who are stressed out and it cracks me up because you know first but most of them were like one steam coming out of their ears but as someone that just really hit me and it was a father you've all probably seen this in public it was a father sitting at a table bouncing a baby on his lap in the babies look kind of looking up towards daddy and daddy is get a bunch of electronics here and doing this and that father will be promoted that's what our society is rewarding us for and unless we start to talk back to that which takes courage unless we start to talk back to that and start that's um about different boundaries around it we really are fighting a losing battle with a stress do I need to say you can go out and change your workplace? Don't you really can't you can't do it right away but they're places where you can find their places where you can find little tweaks and that's how I want you to listen to all of this find little tweaks little boundaries, a little changes in ways you think or changes and things you do that it's going toe add up at the end of the day to a difference for you. Everyone knows that if you most people know that if you stop if you cut out a hundred calories a day, you'll lose ten pounds of the end of the year but we don't feel that day today we just don't feel that little thing but this is the same thing if you give up a little bit of energy that you were going to spend on the stress reaction and take it back for something else at the end of the day, you're a different person and that's what we're after and it's those little it's the little not eating the m and m it's the little choices you make that really add up and they fit into a bigger piece of choice that we're going to talk about all day in a session about how do you make the big choices? But is thies teeny little things and building your awareness and then having something to do to cool down in the moment which we've talked about breath work and the visualization that we did a choice in the moment and then on top of that creating a long range strategy so that you have some choice in what to do with all this as you listen to me, talk about this find those little places where you kind of have that oh that resonates or find those little places where you get the ah ha feeling will know that it's like a wave that simon mentioned that ah ha feeling of, you know, oh q here's a place where I could make this like little tiny shift and make a difference and that really, really matters very relevant that I've identified there, but he said it's about choice a lot of people feel they don't have a choice that in itself is stressful, isn't it? You might be in a job you absolutely hate, but you feel you can't change it because you may have you got so many things depending on your income x right? And in particular you have a family or whatever so that's that choice thing I think the stresses people considerably and I don't have that magic wand I'm sorry if if that's the job you mean toe have at this point what you can do is reframe it and we're going to spend a whole episode on that but you do have a little bit of choice in there. No, you don't want this job, but if you spend the energy every single day resenting that you're in that job, you're double wham ing it um there's an acceptance that it concur there some reframing that could occur that will buy you back at least some of the energy why you kind of get those skills and that courage to do what you need to move through it. No one said life was easy um and that's one of those expectation things we especially the last couple generations were grew up with an easier life than had been before in many, many ways it doesn't mean that we shouldn't feel stress we should never belittle somebody else's stress you know it's their reality it is what it is for them but they're places where we can put it into a bigger perspective that will help any other questions coming go lots of questions coming in on various different topics I don't know if now is the right time to do that but we can certainly do that I do just one letter really know online we're not going to get very much into the specifics of specific drugs a lot of people being asking about that that's not really what this course is about but thank you for your questions and keep them or coming this topic janey l a z they're saying how do you avoid stress and anxiety from turning into depression grade grade question because when you trigger court is all the hormone of stress every day you really really are going to get to depression um it's it's guarantee yeah do you know you need to see your doctor you know you kind of almost like stress has become too much for you but if you're asking me go very good yeah yeah I mean they say they have been taking some sleeping drugs except for a bit I mean you'll see that's not helping them with their particular stress situations they were not going to get into that too much but again it is wise to see your gp if things are just overwhelming so there's there's a spectrum of really extraordinarily healthy, thriving to death it's a spectrum and we're a different places on that spectrum of health to disease throughout life and in our sometimes we don't know completely and we do need to talk to professional and ask, you know, I'm having all these thoughts, and I can't I can't deal with this. Yes, go ask where humans ask just ask you have a need at that point, you don't feel like what you have is working for you and you have a need if you don't ask about your need, you're not going to get help, and one of the expectations I see over and over and are disconnected lives is feeling that this expectation we have to do it all alone. We don't have to do it all alone. There's help out there their communities to join their ways to find this I'm so glad you tuned in today if you can't sleep because you're so stressed. It's time to go ask first some help to see what's going on my focus is that yes, there are medications out there that can help you with this situation, but they don't change the situation just the way breath work doesn't change the situation, so what you need to develop the skills too deal with the situation so when you can calm down your physiology when you can open up your mental power and fuel your courage again put some of that energy back into your courage and your ability to be creative with your life then you can make a difference but if you need help with that to start you need help with it and don't judge yourself for that a little self compassion you you have aa group in issue I think you were saying and people online recognized that totally the same but is there a is there a way to control works as part of stress relaxation or or is that something that they really just have to focus on their medication for gluten allergy in particular that was just one thing they get up to nutrition because they said they have physiological stresses and they were just comparing it to the one you mentioned they didn't actually say what there's well I actually have an allergy so that zeus so is that is an example of a physical stress er there is something to which my body reacts and for some people it's hugely severe like celiac disease but in general backing up from that we are what we eat and eating healthy supports our bodies best function that's on one end of the spectrum and then there's avoiding what is very dangerous for us um I I also have a sugar addiction that idea with um and that's what I want most when I'm stressed but I know in my mind that when I'm stress is actually my call to action to eat healthier that's when I need the new tree yes and I love without getting we could spend days on diet but without using the word diet nourish yourself totally nourish yourself. If you have a four year old who is worried about something, you will put that child to bed you will make sure that child eats well you will comfort that child by rubbing their back you will do whatever it takes to nourish that child. We get to be adults. Wei have the exact same needs. Is that four year old? Nourish yourself and ask for help and nourishment where you need it. That's a really good point as well. I mean that's something that we sort of, you know, adapting the behavior is a parent or is the child but we lose that a later on in life. It's interesting. How stressed, too is saying they hear people saying all this time when they're stressed that they say to them sent to your ci what exactly does that mean? It doesn't help century nous fabulous. She is a word for energy um, from the oriental eastern philosophies cheese, a word for energy and we are nothing but energetic beings, as I said earlier there's, you know more space than there is matter to an adam and were made of atoms. And there is energy to our hearts. There's an energy field, you can measure six to eight feet away from our heart, and I'm not talking aura and new year's is blue. I'm talking an actual electrical cool field that you can measure. We are energetic beings. How that relates to ci as a more complicated discussion. But knowing when you are centered is an intuitive space for us. We're noah's and you mentioned you felt centered after they exercise working to find that work that she is about flow. We're meant to flow. And that was my first slide was flo. Um, she is about flow and feeling centred and whatever ritual, whatever practice is that you have that brings that to you that will make you so much more resilient in the face of stress. Great question. Any questions from our studio of america? Yes, please that maybe a comment. Bu talked about different ways to do those small tweaks within your day and identifying some of those. And I think, um, something that I have identified is I have a routine in the morning where I am out and do things, and then I come home. I have a list of to do is and I don't I don't think I've acknowledged the overwhelmed that I feel with that and so I think that right when I come home, if I could do a breathing exercise on then get into the work I have to do I think that I'll be much more efficient and combat that overwhelm and stress with that so I appreciate that great you're gonna push pause, pause that that's wonderful and we do that we jumped from one part of our to do list to another part of our to do list without taking that that moment especially to say look what I just did that moment of appreciation of, you know, wow, I had a busy morning I did that I've got this to do this afternoon and I'm going to take a breath and empower myself and send a little oxygen back to my brain like that thank you, simon do you have a question? Oh, just about the pause and so what I do um last five six years is um if you step timesa day I'll meditate for just fifteen minutes just taking that time and just it's kind of like I know just it's that's kind of built into my schedule and it's there's other people do the same falling on practice and so it's all kind of coordinated so there's also this kind of feeling that you're kind of all doing this together isn't your held by community you're connected and isn't that what many of the eastern religions that stop and pray at certain times? Yeah today as well end in community there's a group called the global coherence initiative that you can go online and join and you can see on the map who's doing the meditation with you kind of fun I've got a lot of people joining us on twitter today, ashley alex brown is saying do these breath techniques have a collective name on dude? Where can they find more information about them? I don't know elective name has in breath work yeah ugo there's lots andrew weil has a great cd of breath work, okay, but alex has got a problem because nothing's quite interesting I think a lot of people that he wants to know more about procrastination, we're going to spend time on absolute because he says he is and I don't want to do it now can I procrastinated when he's saying he's a lot of time wasting time on video games? Yeah on dashwood a similar question coming from sweet who says they like to put off doing the boring stuff and then they say that as a result they're always putting off him almost everything they have to do get a new job, you know that honesty that's great yeah I'm gonna procrastinate about the procrastination for right now you are going to talk about yes we will now we talked a little bit about gluten intolerance and the allergies et cetera on banks puppy is saying do you think there's ah there seems to be a seam arise in incidents of auto immune issues etcetera is do you think that's related to stress in our society or do you think it's completely you do seventy to ninety percent of our health visits are in some way related to stress our bodies are meant to self heal the majority of our disease load in this country from immune disorders to diabetes heart disease have to do with the lifestyle that we lied and stress is part of our lifestyle and so that's why I'm so passionate about doing this because I want our people to kind of reverse that trend I mean this is sad are their diseases out there yes in fact we the most people have some pre cancer cells in them all the time and it's up to your immune system if it's healthy and rested and able to do what it needs to do to go out there and say you know that sell comics bad let's jump in and play pac man with it but when you don't have that's that rest in that time to do it then the disease gets the advantage wei have the question earlier on about somebody had retired and was still feeling distress is I think this is the same person that they're using the name moose and I apologize it is not the same person saying since they're retiring, they've realised how much stress at work changed them, they have become negative critical of self, others very serious and simply we're not having fun and being very reclusive, but they've now been retired for four months and it's and it's taken that time to relax and become more fun, more positive. So it's, exactly echoing what you're saying, I love you, I need that timeto almost like right detox, if you like, from your work life and give yourself some compassion for how you what you had to do to cope. And they were saying they were working in advocate advocating for the elderly, but they became very irritated by the elderly on because one day you know is that one day you're gonna find yourself there, of course, when you retire, you suddenly realizing you reached it there's a good bit of fear around that way, but I'm assuming that's the same question from earlier on, same question, and I apologize if it's not but it's a really interesting point that isthe yeah, now we have a lot more to come in our next segment we are going to do about awareness excellent. Yes um the first step to any changes awareness if you don't know that you're hurting and you don't do anything about it um and that may sound like you know okay, you're gonna increase my awareness that I'm stressed thanks a lot, sandy, but I want to back up and get you aware of when you just start down the path when you just start to get the tension in the job before you get to the migraine in the clench jaws and needing the contraption in your mouth backing up to know when you're starting to be triggered, all of that really gives you back the power and it's it's huge way have cut off our minds and our bodies we even have separate insurance companies for our minds and our bodies we've really cut him off and last time I checked there sort of attached and what you thought changed your physiology and your physiology can change what you think. So putting that putting it back together will give you power interesting the stories that people sharing with this online I really do appreciate we always appreciate the candidacy and the honesty as well the people who are sharing with us just mary's just sharing just an example of the stress she's dealing with right now because she and her husband have just retired and say almost immediately they became care give us to his mother who has alzheimer's so their expectations have bean very, very different from what the reality is turned to me, and that, clearly is something I think we can all identify. That gives me chills. Yeah, it certainly changes, certainly stressed, too, is saying they were also recently diagnosed with an auto immune disease on dh. They've been having some very serious health issues with swelling, except when they get so thank you for sharing those issues. Obviously, we can't deal with very specifics for those in circumstances, but hopefully what? Cynthia and sharing with us in this course, you will have a chance. T develop different habits that will help you with your stress.