Getting Started in Boudoir
Internet and welcome to create alive this is the live kickoff of our boudoir boot camp with this beautiful woman. Jen rosenbaum, we are here with incredible student studio audience here that has been with us for about five. Has it been five days already? J I'd like a three weeks if you're new to create a live or if you've been with us for a long time, this is one of our boot camps. Now our boot camps take you very, very deep into a particular subject matter, and my goodness, you are goingto learnt so much here with the boudoir boot camp, the way to the the way that it works is that this is a one and a half hours this morning that we are live, we're going to get you started jenna's going to talk about getting started in boudoir, and then that will replay throughout the day. If you want to check out how the whole thing works and get this schedule because we'll be broken out into sixty to ninety, thirty to sixty minute segments that play of on a variety of days, click on the link, the cou...
rse page and that'll take you to the class page, you will find all the details there so again, we're live for the next ninety minutes, so I'm glad you're joining us, right? Now jen how are you doing into really good thank you. How are you feeling for the fact that this is like we are live now we've been recording for several days how you feeling um I actually feel really good I'm not nervous at all about presenting my biggest nervousness is making sure that you guys and everybody out there gets all the information I have up here somewhere talk fast talking fast yet we have a whole boot camp that has all that so really excited to get started join us in the chat rooms and taken away thank you okay you guys we've already been together for hope in two days and I think that this is a gigantic a day advantage because I already know you you know me so this is a really good opportunity for all of us to share stories and talk about everything we talked about behind the scenes and already on boot camp in this getting started and inspire everybody else to be in this place that we are now right because if we had just started and I didn't know you at all it would be like really nervous so I think that this is gonna be a really great way for all of us sort of interacted get everybody out there to get to know all of us right okay, so let's talk about our goals for this boot camp sorry with this so obviously my number one goal is I'm going to teach you to be a good boudoir photographer write a great boudoir photographer sounds simple right so let's talk about what your goals are so I've talked to all of you individually but really out there you know I want everybody to think about what their goals are what do you want out of this boot camp is it business? Is it posing? Is it everything is it you know I'm just starting I don't even know where to begin what is it and the most important thing is that you take action and I always say that the only difference between me standing up here teaching created live and those watching creative live is action I take action I don't let things get in my way I don't believe in hurdles I don't believe in failure I just keep moving and keep going and we've talked about that right a bunch of us have talked about that already I love this quote I love mark cuban we're going to talk about him kind of quite a bit during this and during our wrap up also some of the quotes that he gives because I think he's so inspiring first of all he's a guy that just doesn't give a damn which I love right? He just keeps moving and go into doing but this is so true it's not in the dreaming it's in the doing okay so yes I had a dream to become a boudoir photographer to create a life that I could be home with my children and I could be you know changing women's lives and I could be travelling in teaching other photographers but I can't just sit around and dream about it all the time I have to do something about it and that's really what I want you guys to take away we've all talked about what are you going to do when you get home to make a difference in your business what are you going to do when you get home what are you going to do and it's different for everybody okay and it's constantly going to be changing and that's okay so step one to being a great boudoir photographer everybody anybody have an idea? What step want to be a good boudoir photographer my day I want you guys to pick up the mic I am not doing this alone today let's get someone grab mike aaron I'm calling on you. Yes, well you're closest to the mike sorry bad seating question was ojai were created live I'm jan it's nice to meet you is to meet you what do you think step one to being a great boudoir photographer is um so many things just give me one good posing okay good somebody else give me one brian no don't ask jen it's all on you having the tools in place to offer a unique experience that you're may be able to offer to a client that some bills may not great good answers you guys and you're both right. However, I have a little different take on it, put the camera down, people put it down. How many times have we already talked about that? You guys going to see out in the audience like we talked about putting the camera down and on lee taking the picture when it really matters? Okay? Because this course is not on ly about taking good pictures, right? This course is about changing women's lives and you can't do that all the time of the camera in front of your face on lee, take the picture when it matters that's something really important for us, so my goal for this boot camp is I want you guys to leave here inspired to change women's lives, not just take a good picture. Taking a good picture is so important, we're going to talk about that, like for the rest of boot camp, right? But I want you to feel and I want you to know that everything I'm teaching you is are the ingredients to help change women's lives, so just be careful about just snaps have saff, saff, saff, saff snapping that's not what we're here for at all. And I also want you to build confidence yours and your client, and this is a slight I actually put in last night after a lot of conversation that we had, um after commiserating about the super bowl but talking about your confidence, building it in so many different ways, building an imposing building in business, building it as a person but not just building your confidence, also admitting when you don't have the confidence that it's ok to say to a client, I'm struggling right now, I'm this pose isn't working for me when we put the camera down and think about what I want to do it for a minute, okay, I had a few minutes to shoot lauren yesterday. I hope you don't mind I'm saying that because it's too late uh, but I had a few minutes to work with you yesterday, and there were moments where, like we were in a hotel room, it wasn't the prettiest room ever, right? And we didn't really have, like, the lighting I normally work with and whatnot, and I just for a few minutes I said, you know, lauren, just give me a second, this isn't working, and if you don't mind grabbing a mike, do you feel like I didn't know what I was doing because I took him in and put my camera down and I was just thinking no, not at all if I didn't even notice it wasn't something that I was thinking about um being there in the moment I was wondering how I was doing and when you were taking control it just made me feel so much better and I did not care or even notice right? So this is another topic that we talked about so much what happens if I don't know what I'm doing? I just keep snapping because I want them to think I know what I'm doing aaron I'm sorry to put you on the spot again I'm gonna have you grabbed that mic but we talked about a little bit about this that's not about confidence and being able to make when you don't have the confidence can you talk to that a little tiny bit about it's kind of a deep conversation I'm putting you on this side I realized yeah, but we talked a little bit about your own confidence like I was telling you how it upset me that I haven't seen any pictures of you like if I walked into great of live and we never met, I wouldn't be able to pick out from a line up even though we had talked so much because I don't see a picture of you so can you talk about that? I don't do pictures on that side of the camera on dh it's definitely a confidence thing for me on dh when we were talking, I think one of the biggest things that came out of it is how much my lack of confidence and it's it's my lack of confidence in what I look like, I have gained a lot of weight since high school and getting married and having a baby and ever since I have stayed on the other side of the camera and at what I realized when I was talking to you is how much that is coming across and everything that I'm doing and that's not my goal, you know, I'm thinking that I'm being positive and kind of robber a cheerleader lets everyone do boudoir it's so great, but it was coming off very differently because of my confidence or lack thereof. So on dh with love, I called you a hypocrite, right? And I said to aaron, you can't expect people teo bare themselves to you if you can't even put a picture up in clothing on facebook, you can't I mean, you know, if you have to walk the walk, you know, we all have to do that, and part of walking the walk is admitting that you're not always confident, either. And it's okay, that is okay so it's knowing when to have the confidence and having it everywhere that you possibly can and when you don't have it it's okay to say hey world, I'm not perfect I don't have confidence right now but I'm going to try my hardest and I'm gonna work on this and it's gonna get better that resonate with a lot of you I mean, we've all this word confidence comes up in every single part of this boot camp, doesn't it? But again admitting that you don't have it in those moments will actually help build it. So this is partly why it's so important boudoir is all about the experience. Okay? We talk about that when we talked about appreciate consoles and knowing about laundry and getting our client's ready we talked about it and the posing and how you communicate with your clients it is all about you and if you don't believe me, I'm going to show you let's talk a little bit about wedding photographers now take this with the greatest I am not a wedding photographer thank goodness I don't think I ever could be I give props to everybody who is but wedding photographers or what I like to call active boyars okay, that is their role in the wedding yes, they take control during certain parts of the wedding maybe during you know the portrait sessions right and let's get the family pictures and you know let me get the two of you kissing and whatever it might be okay but for the most part wedding photographers are hired to stay in the background and be a boyar capture what they see going on in the moment they're there to capture the moment they're not creating the moment is that a yes okay, I'm live you guys I need a little like yeah I'm with you okay, so that's what I call active warrior's family photographers in what I call passive participant there much more of a participant hey guys let's get together on the beach and I you know I want you to smile and look at mom and do whatever but the the memories that are made they're really about the family you're going to look back at the pictures and you're going to go wow, that is such a great day on the beach little johnny was so cute oh my god look how big he is compared to you know then so really you're creating family moments there okay? Family memories it's not about you. So what would happen in those scenarios if you told your clients you lost all the shots in this session? Okay, if you had to call a bride and tell her you lost all the pictures she would freak out right? I'm assuming I would okay family for ty overs is a little different, okay, you could do it again, but I'd be pretty pissed. I'm not gonna lie to you. I'd be like, really? I have to get my kid in his khakis and white shirt again. I just washed it doesn't look good anymore or they were they look so cute that day now he lost a tooth and you know, it's it's just not the same. And you really go all right, I could do it. We can re enact it, but it'll never quite be the same as when it happened. The first time, right? Boudoir photographers high. I lost your pictures. My card didn't work awesome. When do I get to do it again? In fact, I look forward to come back the second time in doing it, because now I did it the first time and I have so much more confidence the second time I'm gonna kill it. I mean, there have been times I've had such a bad client with a bad attitude that I feel like calling her and say, oops, I lost your pictures because I know she won't be upset. She'll come back animal rocket even harder the second time, okay, so boudoir photographer is what I call active participants you are the experience it is all about you so that's, why confidence is really important that's, why you have to be able to stand there and say, okay, I know what I'm doing or I don't know what I'm doing, but I'm gonna figure it out or lead by example and say, you know what? I've done this before I've been in front of the camera don't worry, I know what it feels like to be you. Okay? So why boudoir? Why do we shoot food war for me? I believe every woman in the world must celebrate her unique femininity shamelessly, and it sounds so easy. It rolls right off my tongue, right? But it took me like three years to come up with that. It took a long time for me to understand why I was really shooting boudoir, and the truth is much like you, aaron. I do it to heal myself when we'll talk about that just a little bit, but I do this by building relationships, giving them freedom to export and the intimate space to express it. So this is really about not a, you know, no judgment zone we talk about when we're preparing our clients that are hairdressers that makeup artist can't be in that salon mentality there's no judgments allowed we have to let women know this is this is a free space for you to be whoever you want to be which usually means really expressing yourself the way you want to express yourself but sometimes feel like you can in the real world right by the way take pictures while I do it okay so my mission even though I like to believe I'm a good photographer and I take a solid picture my mission is not about the photography when I'm in that room with her my mission is about letting her have a space where she's comfortable to express herself where she is free to feel the feelings she's feeling and there's no judgments on and because it's so awesome she is open to allow me to mold her like clay to talk to her to have her open up to have me open up to her and I'm changing her life I'm not on ly an active participant I am a photographer therapist right I'm not just a photographer there's a therapy aspect to what I am doing this may not hold you for every single boudoir photographer okay this is just my mission I can only tell you about me some people out there just wanted pictures of hot women and that's okay too you know how pictures of hot girls that's fine I don't I want to change lives and that so much of what this course is based on, because everything I'm doing and you're shaking your head soon because I think you can see as we go through all the things, everything I'm doing is because I want to change this woman's life, not just cause I want her thighs to look slimmer. We're not just cause I think she'll look good. Of course it is, because I'm opening her eyes to other things. So again, boudoir is about healing women and it's also about healing. May I have body issues? Okay, aaron, I'm with you. I have body issues. We were talking last night about how I'm very paranoid about my big nose, right? I've always wanted a nose job my whole life, but as I get older, I start realizing that the people that love me and the people that I inspire and the people that I care for my family might friends. Um, you guys, everybody that I bonds with in life when you look at me, I don't think you go wow that's her big nose. Hey, jen, you don't see that. And you know how I know that I know that because I have clients that come in with stretch marks. That's eight to me jenna I don't take my clothes off in front of my husband because I'm scared that he's going to see my stretch marks and we start shooting and I go what stretch marks yes, are they there? Yes isn't what I see absolutely not and they serve as a reminder for me that you know, if you really connect with somebody intimately and deep down they're not seeing this they're seeing right through you they're seeing right inside you and they love you for what you have in there so it's a good reminder for me too as I struggled with my body issues a mayan securities my client's heal me and I healed them so it's a it's a give and take relationship right? Fair okay, so my question is, why do you shoot boudoir? And I'm gonna put that out to the internet why they shoot boudoir I love to hear kind of from some people out there why they shoot boudoir and again there's no wrong answer here there's no right or wrong I'm just telling you why I do it so you know a little bit about me and why the heck I'm standing here today but this is about me I want to know why other people do I think it's great and I think it's so important to find your voice so sorry we're gonna go forward. Okay, so what is boudoir boudoir is pent up food wars bridal it's nude it's lingerie, etcetera? What is boudoir? I don't know. Okay, this is, um you guys have a facebook group. We've talked about this throughout the boot camp, but I'm gonna mention I think somebody will drop the address into the chat boards, maybe rust. Okay. Hi, roz. Thank you. Um so I have this facebook group, right, and there's about nine thousand photographers in this facebook opened every once in a while somebody will put up a picture and somebody will say, well, that's not through war and it makes me crazy and my statement is what the heck is boudoir? There are no limits to what boudoir is sometimes boudoir is in clothing sometimes it's in laundry sometimes it's newt, sometimes it's anonymous shots sometimes is a detail. There is no limit to what it is. And when we start putting limits on it on on on each other, that isn't gonna be our downfall right there because I do not want boudoir to fall into a box. In fact, people don't even call it boudoir. Sometimes I called intimate portrait so or, you know whatever you want to call it is totally fine stop putting limits on what boudoir is find your own voice lauren and I had a conversation with the data for her I believe I don't know what she believes but I believe boudoir is really more about the natural woman for her I say see it in her images images that she takes where a woman is nude um and she's just capturing the shapes of their bodies that's where she excels for her maybe it's not about laundry maybe it's not about girly dress up time for me it's all about girly dress up time I want laundry and my pictures I don't dig the new thing I do I do it sometimes yeah I'm just I don't feel it it's not in here okay? Because it's not about that it's about using war job and using clothing to express yourself and to step out of your comfort zone so you and I are completely different but we're both boudoir photographers and I look at her work and go I got it so good I wish I could shoot like that, but I can't and she might look at my lingerie pictures and go I wish I could identify with laundry like that, but I just don't and that's okay own what you have on who you are and don't let anybody else put limits on what boudoir is for you and don't put limits on other people okay boudoir so much more than I think we've even explored at this point jen, do you want to hear uh what folks are saying at home yeah about why they do but war ideo okay, awesome people are charming in so I love it I think that room's s o j j's julia says to celebrate the milestones in a woman's life marriage may be special age life changes whatever it is the milestone that they are celebrating in life right then and there that is so sure can I make a comment about that? We talked about that last night I don't tell anyone but I'm turning forty this year I don't believe it you on I'm going to report you to celebrate. However erin and I were talking about that last night a little bit too where you know it's not a bad it's like I'm glad I'm doing it now like sometimes I wish I had done it before I had kids and what not but now it's like it means so much more it's like you know I get to celebrate for forty years like everything that this body's accomplished had children and I, you know started taking running and all the things that it's god that's so important women do need to stop and celebrate that it's it's impressive what we could do right you are have a relationship with someone that you can choose them every five years for different mile stress because we do five years is like a short time and such a long time way we're talking about that really allright how about another one? Okay, this is from cattle moose photography why do I do book boudoir? I love seeing a woman go from timid too powerful in less than an hour it rubs off on me and I leave every boudoir session feeling like a woman in power who has just helped to create one too. Yeah, and you know that that holds true to my whole concept that we are the experience because I remember my first good washer that I ever did on the other side of the camera, I left there feeling like a million dollars like I don't even care what the pictures look like like she could've dumped the pictures, I'm glad she didn't, but she could have dumped the pictures and I would have paid all that money just for the experience, you know I didn't it didn't even matter to me with the pictures look like so I love that that's a really great feedback thank you for sharing so how do I define boudoir? First of all, it's intimate I use that word a lot, it is intimate and intimate falls into everything I do opposing shooting wardrobe, everything intimate is such an important word to me and basically it that represents the relationship between me and my client I would like to think you've all felt that from me also we've spent a lot of time together the past couple of days because it's important to me to have an intimate relationship with you so I can support you and you can support me and this is a given take this is really no different than a boudoir shoot it's the same it's the same concept it's how I relate to people in my life it's not just you guys it's not just my clients it's my friends and my family this is how I want their relationships today I'm there for you you're there for me it's also daring your client is daring I mean this is a daring thing to do it for sure so you know I dare people time I dare you to cum book may I dare you to contact me? You know it is it is definitely a daring thing and it's also feminine of course for me it's about femininity it's about the discovery and the expression I do believe that every woman is feminine in her own unique way. Okay for some people it's riding bikes and it's junior jitsu and other people is being a mom is being a state home mom and other people it's about, you know, growing a garden and for some people it's just about being a total bad ass you know, it's like every woman is so different why do we put limits on how well, what femininity should be? So I give them the space to to declare their own femininity the way it should be for them. So again, boudoir is daring let's talk about that for a second, it's typically not something women do every day and fact, my typical client should not be doing it every day if a client contacts me this happened to me fairly recently. That girl said well, I do boudoir shoot about every six months it's not my client. I want a client who's like it is an occasion she's gonna look forward to it she's gonna book me ahead of time she's gonna work out she's gonna die her hair she's gonna count down the days until she comes in. It has to be an event for her that's the kind of client that I'm looking for that's the only way that I can make a difference in somebody if she's just a boudoir addict and just goes around to different photographers and get sexy pictures taken, I can't really make a difference in her life I like to touch her but then people think I mean touch and I don't mean it that way I can't reach her I can't touch her here you know? So I don't I don't like that I want a girl who's not used to doing it so if she's nervous and she's not familiar with it then how do you do it? How do you how do you say to somebody it's ok it's going to be safe it's fine and I promise you you're gonna live um so I'm gonna talk to a little bit about what I call the cool girl principal this is how I started so I've told this story before but I'm gonna tell it again and sort of a condensed version because this story can be applied all across the board in your own worlds in your own lives. Basically when I first started, there was a chat board on long island for weddings for brides and I was on this chat board as a bride not so far before this before I started photography and I knew how it worked it was a bunch of girls that all kind of kind of came together his friends it was kind of a weird board there's a lot of cattiness and we're not on there but I knew that there were some girls that were the cool girls everybody looked up to what they were doing okay? These three or four girls they would put blue swarovski crystals on their shoes now everybody on long island had blue swarovski crystal shoes for their wedding okay they had a certain cake topper that was custom made everybody now had this cake topper everybody wanted to do with the cool girls were doing okay so I said to myself well if I can get those schoolgirls in for a boudoir shoot and get them to share their pictures I wonder how that would go so I contacted the owners of the board and I said listen I'd liketo advertise with you I did pay but here's the thing if I advertise with you I want you to do me a favor I want you to hold a contest to give away a free boudoir shoot and the catch is they have to share their photos and they have to rave about may because they will they'll have a great experience I know that they'll rave about me but they have to be able to post that and they said no problem so we held this contest we decided it was going to take a kissing contest send in a picture of you and your fiance kissing and the cubist kissing picture will win but here's the thing I didn't even look at the pictures I didn't care because I already knew who was gonna win it's going to be a cool girl so as long as I had at least one cool girl apply I was good and lucky for me too cool girls applied. So what do you know? It was a tie. I couldn't decide between the two pictures, okay? And both girls got boudoir shoots and both girls posted about them and raved about me and let me use their images and advertising and on my website and whatnot. And before you know it, I had a boudoir business. I literally went from twenty five clients one year, two hundred clients the next year and then three hundred clients the year after that. So all I did was I created evangelists just created girls to talk about me. Now this holds true for anything who was the cool girl in your neighborhood and I hate to use that term cause like with all the bullying stuff and everything out there, but you guys know who I'm talking about, right? It's the woman who's the influence or the leader she's the one that always you know is has the fashion and she has her stuff together and she talks and girls are like, yes, I want to be like you I want to look like you wanna shop where you shop, tell me where to go to do that you know I wanna have my act together like you whatever it might be so it could be a salon who was the girl at the salon that everybody wants to get their hair cut by who's the teacher teachers are like the best ever because when they go into the teacher's lounge they love to chat it up in there so who's the cool girl teacher at your local school or not your local school whatever it might be let's shoot that girl let her talk about you so this is the cool gold principle any questions on this because this is how my entire business was started no questions okay referrals are lauren just turned purple this is lauren from yesterday actually we shot this yesterday referrals are your number one key to this business now when I posted on facebook when I first knew that I got this creative class I posted on facebook in my group hey guys what do you guys want to learn what is the most important thing you want to learn and I would say like probably eighty five percent of the people who came back said I want to learn marketing there's a little bit of sweat that comes down my far ahead when that happens because I am not a marketing expert at all in fact I actually pretty much suck at it but you know what I'm really good at really good at connecting with my clients I'm really good at posing women. I am really good at shooting boudoir, and every time I do it, I'm creating an advertisement I'm creating a girl that goes out there that's going to talk about me and I make it easy for her to do so we talk about in the posing that I give her a head shot or I give her clothes shot. I gave her something that she could share with other people. I provide her with a nada moto slide show or I give her a sec sticky album or whatever it might be that allows her to have access to her picture so she can show other people creating evangelist and doing a really good job. But what you do is the absolute number one marketing tip that I can get anybody period. This whole class is a marketing class and might not sound like it might sound like posing or pricing or a war job, but it is a marketing class, okay, so now I feel a little better. I got the sweat off my butt really trust is the key. It is so much easier for somebody go. Oh, you know what? I'm going to go to jennifer boudoir because my girlfriend, when she said she had the best time and I trust her and I know that I'm in safe hands versus just looking somebody up on the internet I was gonna say the phonebook who who uses the phone book anymore looking somebody up on the internet and saying, oh, I think that you know they're going this looks good I like their pictures we want a deeper connection than not right so here's the thing if it's a not a referral how do I make sure that the clients find may okay because it does happen sometimes mostly I put that out there in my website in my block my eye believes which I'll show you next my block my facebook status they're all authentically may okay guys facebook and social media I think brian might have asked me about social media was it you brian? I don't remember, but I think so just oh, great greg asked me about ok about social media I'm not a social media expert either his he asked me what how do you get out there on social media? And I said, well, just post a ton of shit everywhere you can that social media for may I mean just poses many places as much stuff as you can, however make sure it's real and authentic and it's on key to whatever your messages that's the most important thing, so I have a business page for facebook and I have a personal page her facebook and they're both my business page that's how I view it not saying I don't put up personal things on my personal page. However, if I'm putting something personal up on my facebook page, I am well aware that my clients are going to see it on other photographers were going to see it, and I want to make sure it's on key to my message so I would never post something like, oh, I feel so ugly today I'm going put spanx on because I feel so fat if I do that, how are my client's gonna feel about that, right? How are other for tyre? Was how'm I supposed to inspire women by saying something like that? Aaron, this is a big tip for you because we talked about your facebook page. This is why you have to get pictures up. This is why you have to walk the walk. This is where you do it, cindy, this is a big one for you. You put a lot of personal stuff on your facebook page and I love it. I mean, I learned stuff about you this a week that I was like, wait, you didn't tell me about this or that, and I'd learned that about you and your facebook page, and immediately have brought us closer yes, please. There's a microphone over here actually work alchemy editor, letting people see that you're really see the real you is just there's so much intimidation factor and getting these photos taken that, you know, I'll put up a picture of me sitting in my barn with my chicken, you know, it's like she's, not someone I need to be afraid of, you know, she's, just someone like me exactly that's so important. Yeah, and they like to know you because you're going to ask them a lot of questions. All right, tell me about you. Tell me why you want to do this. Tell me about your husband and tell me about whatever they want to know you. They want to know you're real and you're not scary. You know, I like posting pictures of me with my kids because I think that people think if I can keep two little people alive for this long that I'm probably pretty safe, right? So I might have misunderstood you. Have your personal page, is your business page so it is not. It is my personal page. However it's still my business page I still view it as that and I'm not talking about marketing necessarily I'm talking about this is where somebody will go if they want to see who generals obama is this is where you know how many of you check your client's facebook page when a client will come you know contact your potential client the first thing you do everyone saying yes the first thing you do is look up to see who they are right they do the same thing to you are in so if they go to your facebook page what are they going to stay and I'm not talking about your business page I'm talking about your personal page what are they going to say so are you walking the walk and if you are that's where you're doing it right so I think I walked the walk on my personal but I have my personal stuff really private like I don't friend people I don't know and I'm wondering if maybe that's maybe I'm being too guarded and maybe I need to open up my personal page a little more than I do believe so um I sort of feel like facebook is a is a a great connection like have I connected with people from high school? They're have I connected with old friends from elementary school there yes my goal on my facebook pages to connect with people and I'm putting myself out there let's not forget the power of the real connections in life and the real connections that you have the friends I'm not saying that my connections on facebook aren't real but what I'm saying is that the important stuff the stuff I really want to put on facebook that's so personal I'm going to go to my best friend for that I'm not gonna put that on facebook that's just me so then we have a lot of men in the chat rooms and who are asking questions and we've got our men in our studio audience as well can you do talk a little bit about how a man should be personifying themselves in the similar way because it's a different layer yeah, I think that's a great question I think that brian, I'm going to put you on the spot a little bit because we were talking about we were having deep, deep deep conversation last night about women and changing them and their healing me and at one point I turned to my side brian, are you dying to get out of here right now? Like, is this conversation killing you and he was like, no, you know, this is what I want this is what I need to know I need to know how women work, so can you maybe shine a little light on that as faras like putting yourself out there too it's seems safe and approachable by your female clients I mean, I know you have jen and that helps because they're married and they're married team here but you know, what advice would you give let's say, two men I agree one hundred percent with everything that you said all my personal page, I keep it wide open so anybody that looks indoor business can look at me since I'm kind of behind the scenes and I try and keep it is upbeat and positive as I as I can, I don't try and put any negativity on there because I do have something I can talk to her friends, but I try and keep it is uplifting and positive because I do know that people do look at us just like we look at our clients when I inquire yeah, I think it's important if a man is married, put pictures of you and your wife up there save god's just my wife look beautiful, be authentic, I'm not going to tell them what to say because that's not authentic, but yeah, put the things that you love out there, what are the things you love? You know, um, even if it's just photography stuff like, you know, show people you're really you're genuine, you're safe be just be really, you know, there there's a difference between um hiding things from facebook and not posting things I don't hide things from people I just know what's appropriate for public viewing verses my own private life and so do I ever put struggles up there or things I'm thinking about? Of course, so I put quotes dough I put whatever but everything I mean if you go through my facebook page, I think you'll find everything is very authentically made because I lived my message so it it and you guys even said that this morning like I love your leather dress you just you know, dressed like you live, you know, just like your message I'm like yeah, this is important for me to feel feminine here today and to be feel shameless today, you know, because this is a big deal you guys, you know, so whatever your messages male, female or otherwise married couple or whatever put that stuff out there just just be you, you know, men and we're going to talk about this during the male female and the bonus footage that men think that they have such a disadvantage, but I think that they have a huge advantage in a lot of ways women that want to be shot by men are only good to goto a man, so you know, put out there who you are, let them see who you are I shouted give a shout out to somebody in the chat rooms leader to photography who says as a male photographer shooting females there is a secret to it don't be creepy and that that is what russia who is also in this line of photography says as well just how to not be creepy don't be creepy right of and seriously once you get started shooting women and realize that you are going to protect them their images and their sanctity you'll see that work yeah I don't want to go to a man's pay agency like his likes they're all like, you know booty for miles and you know, hot babes on cars and like I don't want it if I see that I go creep he just wants to see me naked that's not gonna work so yeah be thoughtful about what you're doing on your facebook page is you had her comment I think you need the microphone also I think the words that guys use during their session makes a huge difference that greg shot me the you know yesterday and when all of us girls we're together we're like, wow, your butt looks amazing, you know? And then greg shot me he didn't say that you say I like your smile I like the light in your eyes I like the way you're moving you know he could not pull off saying your butt looks maybe it would be creeping greg is an amazing compliment giver we saw that in the male versus female segment that we've already shot I actually complimented you on your compliments because he's a gentleman and he was very good with his compliments where I like to say to women oh my god, I want to take you home with me I love you so much you know, like men can't say stuff like that, you know? So yeah definitely to be careful what you say and how you how you handle women and we do like I said, we do talk about that a lot more in the male versus female to see the difference between the two um okay, so my I believe so this is I don't have a typical of this even has been updated since this but I don't have a typical about me paige I wasn't born with the camera and you know, I didn't plan on being a photographer even photography actually just kind of found me by accident um but there are things in here like um when playing truth or dare always choose dare always choose dare I want my clients to go yeah, I choose dare I mean, you guys, I shouldn't probably tell you this, but if you tell me not to do something or I can't do something, I'll do it twice just to prove you wrong that's just the way I am um I wear a push up bra while doing push ups, okay, that shows who I am. I'm feminine, but I'm strong. Okay, that's what I'm saying without saying it and my clients will agree with that logo. Yeah, that I get that I got that, um I let see what else do I like here to say? Um, I believe the true power of a woman can never be taken away by sweat pants. Okay, so go ahead where your sweat pants doesn't mean I don't think you're sexy you're totally sexy, just hidden under the sweat pants. But that's okay, you could take it out whenever you want its power that you have. Okay, so these are the messages I'm trying to put out to women, so they're either identifying with it or they're not it's polarizing. They might read this and go this girl's full of them out of here and that's. Okay, that's totally fine and notice I put up pictures of me and my kids. Look, see, I put her clothes on a keeper life it's awesome, you know, they're oh, my god, they've changed so much since then, but look, I even have a dog that I keep alive school, so I'm pretty safe um so knowing why you shoot boudoir is really important it helps you with your marketing it helps you with your message it helps you identify with your fines and it's also important to know where not to market I'm gonna tell a little story about a photographer that I know she might even be out there listening right now who has the most amazing work she sent me some work tio critique one day I was like this is really good like I think you're better off talk over than me what the heck what lighting or using here what do you know? It was like she was really, really good and she said jen, I'm not getting any business though and I was like, well that that's not good we need to talk about that because you're way too talented to not be shooting so what's going on where you advertising and she's really cute and she said to me, you know, I mean I made these post cards and we're on skype so I get to see all of her facial expressions and I put them in this store by my house I don't know I'm not getting any phone calls from it all right? Well, what kind of store you know, they sell stuff for women and you know I put them like right I spoke to the owner I put them right like kind of in the front and I'm not getting what she's saying like what is happening here why we're not telling me where you're we're talking we're talking fun they go wait a minute did you put postcards in a sex toy shop and she was like yeah you know, like she couldn't even like she was turning purple so being a new yorker that I am I had to make a really uncomfortable so I said to argue let me ask you a question did you put him next to dildos and vibrators like and she went I said to her okay here's the thing you can't even say sex toy shop how do you expect to find your clients there your clients are not there your clients don't grab their keys and go honey, I'll be right back I'm going to pleasure palace and you know I'm picking up my stuff and maybe I'll do a good wash you well on there that doesn't happen your client by sex toys online let's be really clear about that okay? They're not going to the store so unless you're gonna advertise online with them that's not happening and you know what this is this is it was very funny and I'm a little nervous about sharing that story but the truth is that she was marketing and totally the wrong place so you could put all of your effort into all of your marketing to try to get the wrong client okay her client can't say sex toy shop either okay I saw her client certainly not going there so I said sure where are your client's going I have the feeling your clients are going to little league on sunday and your clients are going you know wherever and she said okay yeah this is where my I would find my client's okay so get the postcards out of the sex toy shop and let's put them somewhere else that it's more meaningful to you that you're going to find your client this is another common misconception about boudoir that like somebody wants to do boo are shoot they automatically must be a sex addict or um you know to show off their bodies everywhere just like you know I don't think that that's your either it is about sex for some okay there are some boudoir photographers they're like yeah I want a woman to find her sexy I want her to to find that for me it's not about that and I think making the assumption that you're going to find your client's a stripper in class or a pole dancing class or whatever it might be a misconception it might not be I worked with a company who had ex strippers teach fitness to women and I got some of my best clients there because you know they were appealing to they were appealing to that forty something woman who's had a couple of kids and doesn't always feel sexy. Her name's, jen rosen back, but no it's true, you know, she was appealing to women that I want to work with, women that are looking to do something a little fun and daring. They're not looking to be strippers, but they're like, oh, I wonder what would happen if I knew how to give a good lap dance for my husband? Because, you know, we've been married fifteen years, and we got to keep it up, you know, so that is true, but don't think, don't just make the assumption. Oh, a woman's doing. We were she's, a sex addict. I'm going right to the sex place is I'm going to find her. The truth is, it's, probably not that way. Most of those clients don't do that stuff and that's, why they need you to feel good about themselves.