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Master Your People Skills

Lesson 14 of 31

Create Deeper Bonds and Human Motivation


Master Your People Skills

Lesson 14 of 31

Create Deeper Bonds and Human Motivation


Lesson Info

Create Deeper Bonds and Human Motivation

(audience applauds) We made it through our fears guys. We're on day 14, which is about Creating Value, and my three goals for today are to teach you the nine value languages, and what these are important for is showing us how to create deeper bonds with people because when we do, we can understand human motivation. We understand where people come from, but first, as always, I have a little warm-up to get our juices flowing. So, I wanna ask you, who do you most admire, and preferably, I'd want this to be someone in your own life. You can pick a celebrity or someone like that, but someone in your life who you admire greatly. I don't want you to think too much about this, just off the top of your head. Who haven't I called on in a little while? Babar, would you mind telling me who you admire? In my photography field, there is this one photographer and a couple of years back, she started. She was new in the country, and she started from $50 an hour and initially, she was getting these real...

ly, really small jobs. Then she worked on her skills and now currently, she is over $500 a hour, very selective, top of the line work, and even though she gained so much success, but still she is being so humble, so helpful, so she's kind of like a person I really admire with her work ethics and personality. I love it. What a wonderful inspiration professionally and personally, success and humility. At home, I also want you to write down the person you most admire. Now I want you to think about what is it about that person that you admire most? What quality about that person is it that you admire most? So in your workbook, I want you to write down the person and what quality it is that you admire. Can someone share their answer with me? Kim, how about you? Who do you admire? What is it about them you admire? My little brother is the person I admire most, and he just has this incredible steadiness and optimism and is just creative and thoughtful. I love it. He just blows me away. You said steady, you said creative, you said, what was the other one? Optimistic and thoughtful. Okay and thoughtful. So what this question is, this series of two questions is this is another value solicitation exercise. This is one of the questions where if I were to ask you, what do you value? What are your values? You'd be like, what? How do I even begin to answer that question, but by asking you who do you admire and what quality do they have, I would say, Kim, do you think that these are four values that you have, steadiness, that you value, things that you value, steadiness, creativity, optimism, and being thoughtful? Yeah. Yeah. So that's a very fast way to tap into your own values. It's always a fast way if you wanna pull some other people's values, that's something you can ask others to get a feeling for what it is that they value most, and that is what we're talking about today, the nine value languages. Now here is where we are, at the Path to Connection. We're at the top guys. Give yourself a round of applause for that. (audience applauds) At home, pat yourself on the back. Give yourself a hug, 'cause we made it all the way to the top of the Path to Connection. We started with the Hook, the first impression, the Deposit, how to get and receive emotional deposits, Fracking, going a level deeper, Bonding, to learn someone's personality and now we're finally at Connection, and that's about tapping into people's values. We had to cross a lot of fear to get there. Today is marked by one quote by Theodore Roosevelt. "People don't care how much you know until "they know you much you care." Tapping into people's value language is the best way to show someone that you care for them. Not only are you showing interest, are you making them feel validated, but you also get to meet their self actualization need, which is the highest part of Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs. Let me show you about what I mean. This is finding their personal mission statement. We've been talking about our own personal mission statement but value language is finding what motivates someone else, and that is called a value language. A value language is what drives someone to make life choices. It's what informs their goals and action, and it's what gets them up in the morning. A value language is what motivates us. It's what drives us, and this is skill #19, Find Their Value. We learned 33 people skills in this course, the skills that highly successful people have. Discover their personal mission statement to speak their value language. I have to go through them to sort of get what I mean by value language. There are actually nine different ones. Power, money, fame, relationships, image, perfection, uniqueness, experience, and knowledge. The interesting thing about value language is this is the other side of our matrix. So at our core, we have our talents and our intelligence, and we have what we hold dear, what motivates us. We value all nine. All of us value all nine of the value languages, but the order is what is important. So how we rank them is what defines our motivations. I want us to think about what our primary and what our secondary value language is, the top two, but in your workbook, I'm gonna have you go through an exercise where you actually rank all of them. Why do we do this? Why do we care about value language? Why does it help us with our interpersonal skills? First, this helps us predict someone's choices. There is very little about this course that is predictive. Mostly it's reading people for who they are, connecting, building on top of connection. Predicting someone's behaviors and choices is how you use value language. If you understand what motivates someone, it's much easier to know how they're going to act or behave. It also helps us understand why some people drive you absolutely crazy. (laughs) You know those people in your life who you're like, why are they making these crazy choices? What are they thinking? How could they do that? Right, friends, colleagues, and you're like, what is driving them? They speak a different value language than you. So I hope that it will bring some clarity to why we don't understand some people. It's just that they speak a different value language. Next, most misunderstandings stem from simple differences in what people value. If you're trying to communicate about something, a work project, a relationship, even a decision for a vacation or how to spend your money and your family, if you're coming from different value languages, if you have different motivations, you're never going to be able to agree on what to do with it, but hopefully, I can bring some transparency to those discussions. So you can start talking about motivations and value languages, which makes that misunderstanding not valid because you know the deeper level for why you're making certain decisions. Lastly, knowing how to win someone over by appealing to what they truly value instead of what you value. So in business, we can go in with a pitch with benefits and features, even the most amazing story, but you're only thinking about what you value and they value something else, you're never going to be able to appeal to them. So value languages also help us figure out how we can appeal to someone else with our business. So a little bit of research from the science pie on value language done by Dan P. McAdams who also does a lot of research on self narratives, which we talked about in the last segment. He's found that value languages gives us a sense of purpose. Our personal mission statement and our value language are quite closely aligned. This gives us a purpose. It helps us make choices, and typically, it's how we feel worthy. I feel worthy when blank need is met, and this is slightly different for everyone. A little special note here before I go into the value languages. There is no right or wrong. There is no the best value language and the worst value language. There's no grades here. I'm not gonna give you A, B, C on these. The way that you rank your value languages, the more authentic you can by not thinking about right or wrong answers, the more authentic you are. There is no right or wrong here. Let's start. So here's how I've broken down the value languages. Money is the first value language. I'm gonna talk about how people find value in it, when they feel worthy, clues for this value language, the difficulty that people with this value language have, and their skill. So when I say people who have money as a value language, I mean that's their primary value language. We all value money to some extent. It's just different on the ranking system. So let me give you an example. Oh and by the way, I have a little couple of prizes to give out. The best way to apply value language, these are my business card lollipops, sign to people, learn how not to suck. So I wanted to bring four of them because some of the best ways to understand value language is to think about characters that embody this value language. TV characters, movie characters, book characters, they tend to be the extreme versions of these value languages and I can help us sort of digest what that value language is. If you think of a character that embodies this value language, you go ahead and raise your hand and yell it out, and I'll go with the first four. Oh my goodness! Yeah, Michael. Is it (mumbles) from the Wolf of Wall Street? Oh my God! Yeah, these are gonna go fast. Alright, what's your? I was gonna say Jordan Belfort. What? Aww, will you share your lollipop together? (laughs) Alright, so people who have primary values, their money is their primary value language, they find value in salary, net worth and high prices. They like things that cost a lot. They feel worthy when they have a large bank account, when they can afford expensive items, and when their earning potential increases. That's when they feel worthy. Clues, they have prioritized high financial goals. Their achievement and their success is tied to financial goals. They show off expensive items or spend lavishly. They pick romantic partners based on salary or net worth. The difficulty that we have is that they tend to be seen as greedy or materialistic, but their skill is they're typically, highly ambitious 'cause they want to achieve those monetary goals. I love it, Jordan Belfort, perfect. That is the primary value language for Jordan Belfort. I think I also thought of Kevin from Shark Tank, who actually isn't a character, and when you watch Shark Tank, he's always like, "Show the me the money, "give the money, I just wanna make money." Primary value language number one, money. I wanna make a special note here. Happiness is not a value language, and the reason for that is because we all want happiness. Our value languages cause happiness. So we all want happiness. These are what gives us that feeling of happiness, just a little clarification there. Image is the second one. They find value in beauty, aesthetics, and appearance. They feel worth when they're complimented on their looks, when they're admired in the street, when they get likes, compliments, approval on their photos and videos. Their clues are they spend extra time and extra money on appearance. They might take a very long time getting ready. They place a high value on clothes and makeup, possibly plastic surgery, valuing youth. They pick romantic partners based on appearance. Difficulty, they can often be seen as vain, but their skill is they're appreciative of beauty, they love and admire beautiful things and beautiful people, and they can take extreme care of their body and their health because they value it so highly. Can anyone think of someone who values image highly? Character? So I thought of Cher from Clueless? Clueless, where they're talking about clothes and hair and how do I look and how do I think. That's an extreme version of someone who values image. Power is the third value language. People who value power highly, they find value in authority, prestige, and earning high titles. Title is very important to them. They feel worthy when they're in charge, when they're the decision maker, and when they outrank people and they're the highest rank in the room. Clues for power language are they enjoy persuading and having dominance over others. They take credit or make power-hungry moves, and sometimes it's not where credit is due, but they take that credit for themselves. They pick romantic partners based on rank or title. They casually mention title, education level, or awards, just dropping it. Oh, no, it's not Mr., it's Dr. whatever it is. They casually mention the title. The difficulty is they can be seen as social climbers or being obsessed with rank, but their skill is they're typically highly successful 'cause that's how they feel worth is by getting higher ranks, higher titles, and achievement that's public. Can anyone think of someone that would be this? Yeah. House of Cards. Eww, God. Yeah, you have two lollipops Michael. I'm going to start saving these. Oops, I'm a terrible thrower. You can gift that. Aw, there we go. I love that sharing is caring guys. I love it. So the one that I thought of was the Lanaster family in Game of Thrones. They are all about titles, who's in charge, who's the king, who's more important than the other, what's the rank. That's an extreme version of power hungry. Knowledge, so the fourth one is knowledge. They find value in intelligence, IQ, book smarts and education level. They feel worthy when they are in the know, when they are right. They love to be right, and when they have high intelligence or high IQ. Their clues are they correct and fact-check those around them. They're always, well that's not right, let me look it up for you. They share obscure information. They love to tell you interesting facts. They ask you to back up your opinion with fact. How do you know that? Tell me the science behind it. That's how you know. Difficulty, they can be know-it-alls. They know best, but the skill is they typically have very high intelligence 'cause they're constantly trying to stem that intellectual curiosity. Who can think of someone? Yeah. (mumbles). Yeah, absolutely, intellectual curiosity. Here you go, coming at you. Okay, those don't throw very well. That's what I'm thinking. I don't think it's me. Do you think it's me? (laughs) Yeah. Sheldon from the Big Bang Theory. I don't watch that show, but I heard it's a nerdy show. I would like it, right? It's like he's very. He's all of that. He's all of that, okay, I love that. I saw another hand. No, okay. (laughs) I think that I had thought of Hermion Granger from Harry Potter. She is a know-it-all, she has to tell you what's right, she likes to back it up with facts, very high intelligence. Five is fame, so people who place a very high value on fame, and this is creeping up, by the way. This wasn't such a big one many years ago, but more and more, we're seeing more people obsessed with fame because fame is much easier to get with YouTube. So they find value in popularity, notoriety, and fame. They feel worthy when they are in the spotlight, when they get recognition, and when their reputation precedes them. Their reputation is hugely important to them. Clues are they love to be the center of attention. They're obsessive about views on posts, videos, and photos, constantly checking. I think selfie is the perfect example, the Selfie song, I will not sing it for you. (audience laughs) I'll spare you all. That's the perfect example of the fame value language. They dream about being famous. The difficulty is they can be dramatic and they can think that any attention is good attention, but their skill is they can be very talented. They want to showcase their talent, so they want the fame to showcase the talent. Anyone think of any characters? Yeah. Mean Girls. Mean Girls, did she want to be famous or popular? The other ones, not the lead. Yes, yes. What about Miley Cyrus? Oh, yeah. We don't know her personal preferences, but I think that's a very good guess. The one that I said was I Love Lucy. She's always wanting to be famous. She's always trying to get on her husband's show. She always trying to be on TV or commercials. You have one right? You have a lollipop? Alright, six experience. People who value experience, they find value in adventure, excitement, and impressive stories. They love experiences. They feel worthy when they are trying something new, when their bucket list is complete or they've checked an item off their bucket list, and they have done it all. They feel like they know everything. They've experienced it all. Clues are they try extreme or obscure sports and hobbies. They always say yes to new things. They brag about trips, adventures, and travels. They know the local hot spots, the cool places and the best things to do. They're the best people to ask for recommendations. Difficulty is they can be adrenaline junky and they can be bored easily, on to the next thing. I've experienced it all, but skill is they're typically well traveled and extremely exciting to be around and exciting to talk to. Who can think of someone who, this is a hard one. Yeah. Anthony Bourdain. Oh, totally, yes. The one I thought of was Indiana Jones, always looking for adventure, has trouble settling down. That's a fantastic one. You're good at this game. I like it. (audience laughs) Seven is relationships. Relationship, they find value in people, friendships, and strong relationships. They feel worthy when they can connect with interesting people. They have a lot of Facebook friends, they have a large network. That's when they feel worthy. Clues are they place a high value on their Rolodex. They always want to meet new people. They could namedrop or social climb. They spend time on relationship maintenance, maintaining their relationships. The difficulty is sometimes, not always, they can think of quantity over quality. So the amount of friends as opposed to the quality of friends, but the skill is they typically have very high PQ and they might know everyone. They're a super-connector. Anyone think of any characters that best embody this one? So the one that I thought of was Roger Sterling from Mad Men. Does anyone watch Mad Men? Roger Sterling is one of the leaders, and he's always schmoozing and networking and he knows everyone in town, and his relationships are what make his business. He sells on relationships only, Roger Sterling. Also, Lord Varys in Game of Thrones. He's a wheeler and dealer with relationships. He knows everyone's business and he can go to people and he's friends with everyone. That would be another one who has a very high value language. Relationships is his primary value language. I wanna show you an example of a video of Stacy, who I think you will see her value language with her answer. Definitely would be just being alone, I think. I really feed off a lot of people's energy. So when I'm alone sometimes, I feel just not there, I guess, just sort of disconnected, and I don't like that disconnected feeling. I like being able to have energy around me and I know that sounds a little weird, but I feel like that being by myself is a little, I would do terrible on a desert island. (laughs) So what is her value language? Relationships. Yeah, right. She feeds off of those relationships. She says, I need them to feel myself. What do you think her intelligence is? Interpersonal. Yeah, absolutely. So we actually had them take a value language test and an intelligence test, and she is interpersonal and relationships. Number eight, this one's a little tricky. It is control/perfection. People who have control/perfection as their primary value language, they find value in being in control, being perfect, and I use quotes in that, having everything in check and in line. They feel worthy when people are pleased with them, when they have done everything right, and when everything is under control. The clues are, they can be people-pleasers. They can hide vulnerabilities because they're afraid that's not gonna make them worthy. They rarely ask for help, and they do not like asking for help and support, and they can be high in conscientiousness, can be. Difficulty is, if they're afraid of showing vulnerabilities, they can be very inauthentic. So they're afraid of authenticity. They can also lack flexibility because they want everything to be perfect, and they can be stuck in a perfection prison, but the skill is, they're typically very likable, and very dependable. What's a character that might have perfection as a value language? Yes. In Breaking Bad, Breaking Bad. The woman who needs her tea with just the right stuff and everything needs to be just simple. Love it, yes, and you thought of the name too. Also, Betty Draper from Mad Men. Also, Desperate Housewives, Bree Van de Camp, if you remember that show. Okay, everything had to be like, just so, like, just so, her hair to be just right and perfect. Everything in control, and the best part of those shows is when you see those characters start to unravel because that's usually, they can't keep it all together. I wanna show you Dana. I wanna show you a video of Dana, and him talking about not his value language but I think we can sense his value language from his answer. Fear is my biggest fear, and I think related to that, or letting fear make decisions for me is my biggest fear actually. So we've seen this answer before, but now we have a new dimension. We have a new way to look at it. So his value language is control, and here he talks about his biggest fear is fear itself, which makes him feel out of control. This is a way that from an answer, we can start to get a hint at what his value language is. Does that resonate with people? Yeah, okay. The last one is uniqueness, and this is the most rare. Uniqueness is when people feel value in breaking the status quo and being different. They feel worthy when they can have a unique impact. They love to be brazen and stand out, and they feel worthy when they can break the rules and go against the status quo. Clues, they hate rules. They hate being told what to do. They're not traditional. They love shock value, and they do not like being told what to do. Difficulty is they can have a hard time fitting in and dealing with authority, but their skill is they're typically incredibly innovative. Can anyone think of a character who might be this? I only got Kisses for you. Steve Jobs? Yeah, totally, and he's not a character, but I think absolutely control. Yes. A whole bunch of people who are running these YouTube channels, the YouTube celebrities, those people. Um, I like that answer because I think you have a combination of uniqueness, like being different, and fame, and we don't know exactly what their motivation is. Do they want to just have a number of views or are they just trying to rile things up? Thank you for that answer, I love it. So I thought of Peter Pan. Peter Pan is a character. He just wants to be young. He doesn't want to follow any of the rules. He's a free spirit. He doesn't care that he makes people angry or fights authority. That's a great, uniqueness value language. In your workbook, I have a little test where you can rank these statements to see where your value language is, which ones resonate most with you, and this can take a little bit. So I want you to take your time with this workbook exercise. The question is knowing our own value language ranking is one thing, but how do we read value in other people? Number one, be a master listener. The more that we listen, really listen, not wishful hearing, we hear the clues that we need for understanding what their value language is. Six, harvesting stories. So this is actually getting their stories from them. Harvesting stories is not only about telling stories, it's also about asking the right questions to hear their answers. Oftentimes, the stories that people share and the spark they show when they share them can speak a lot to what they value and we're going to see that in an example in a second. Number three, you cannot find value language without being relentlessly curious, asking the right questions, having the law of addition so people feel like they can open up to you. Being relentlessly curious, I've included four of my favorite value language solicitation questions. When you ask these questions, and you can ask them socially, informally, formally, professionally, socially, or romantically, these are the ones that typically can give you a clue to what their value language is. What motivates you? Flat out asking someone, what gets you up in the morning. I asked all the Creative Live staffers what motivates you and from most of their answers, I could identify what their value language was. What do you love about your job is another one that actually is a great way to find passion, spark. What gets you up in the morning and what's your biggest fear? Those are the easiest ones for us to tell. I wanna watch an answer to this question, and we're gonna guess her value language after watching the video. So watch, we'll see what we think. My favorite thing about my job is probably the people first. I love the people I work with. Second is what we're doing. I just really believe in the mission. I believe in Creative Live. I believe in educating people, and I feel very passionate about my job, and I feel very lucky that I have a job I feel passionate about. So what do we think her primary and secondary value language is from that quick clip? Yeah. Relationships and knowledge. Boom, awesome. One answer, got that. Yeah. I have a question with the relationships one because I totally understand that we get that from that, but then going back to the slide where you said they feel worthy when, and it was, you have a lot of Facebook friends, you have a big network, and she might just really like the three people she works with and is happy with that circle. So it's could have a big network, could have a lot of friends. Those are like clues to things. Now, that was our top guess. Now that actually was confirmed. We had her take the value language test, but I just wanted to show an example of sometimes it really is that easy to get, not always. Of course, you're not saying that I'm, ah got you figured out, I know you, but at least, it can give you an educated guess of like, I think I have a foundation of what motivates this person. If I were her boss or her colleague, I would never take her relationships away from her. I would know that's something she really values about her job, which we're gonna talk about in the communications section. Perfect clarification. Alright, let's do another one. Let's watch Chris's. Let's guess his value languages from his answer. My biggest fear, my biggest fear I think is not fulfilling potential, not taking the skills that I have and utilizing them in the way that is gonna benefit me the most, just I guess being idle and lazy and not using my skills to the best of their ability. Again, we've heard this answer before, but now we have a new dimension to look at it. What do you think his primary and secondary language is? They're getting harder, right? Gut, just gut reaction, what do you think it is? Yeah. Is it experience? Experience, what made you think that? Well, I don't know. He wants to do all of these things, like he wants to be a part of it. Yeah, that might be his third, I don't know. Yeah. Yeah, I think it might be power in terms of because he wants to make an impact. Impact is a close one. I heard more control. He wants to be in control of what he's doing, and that actually is his first one. Anyone get his second one about what he was talking about learning? Knowledge is his second one. Alright, let's do one more, a quick one. Michael, let's see what his value language is. So, I guess one character that I would identify with in a movie, book, or film would have to be Scarlett Johanson's character in Lost in Translation, and the reason I picked that one is because her character was very wide-eyed, was very open to the world, was open to let the world sort of guide her into what her path was gonna be, and open to all those experiences that came with that without judgment. So I sort of identified with that, and I identified with this idea of being sort of, at the same time, being swallowed up by the world around you but also incredibly intrigued and inspired by the world around you and the people that you meet. I identified with that. So this is a harder one. What do we think it is? Yeah. Experience and uniqueness. Experience is definitely number one. The second one is a little harder. It wasn't uniqueness. Yeah. Is it relationships? So, he did mention people. He did mention the importance of connecting with people. His second one was actually knowledge. He talked about knowing things, but there's actually another answer that we didn't hear in this particular clip about how he wants to learn a lot of new things on the job, but the first one, you got, which is experience, all these knew experiences that this character was having. So I briefly wanna talk about the last way to read value, which is microexpressions. Now I explore microexpressions in depth in my Power Value Language course. There's seven universal facial expressions that we all make when we feel an intense emotion and I have a little chart in your book. I just wanna teach you the three that help us read value language. This is the three that help us read value language. The first one is fear. Fear is when we raise our eyebrows up our forehead and we widen our eyes and we open our mouth and take in a breath of air and fear, here's a little video of it for you. See, we widen our eyebrows, we raise our eyebrows up. The reason why fear is important in recognizing value languages is if you take something away from someone and you see that fear, you might have tapped into them losing part of something they value. So we see fear when there's a lack or taking something away. I wanna show you a quick video of Arianna talking about something and I want you to check out the fear microexpression that we see. What personal passion project are you working on right now, if any? Personal passion project? Oh God, I don't know. (laughs) I don't know. I just bought a camera. Okay, so fear, right away, you see that little flash of the eye. It happens incredibly quickly. So if I were in conversation with her, I would be like, alright. I've asked a question. It's a little bit too far. Maybe she's an introvert. Maybe she's a little bit more private, and that's when you can say, that's a big question. Just tell me what are you working on or you can let her answer, and she did end up answering, but that's where that fear microexpression comes up where we see all of a sudden that we've crossed into a boundary that we weren't expecting. So when you see fear, tread lightly. You might want to answer the question yourself. If you're with an introvert, you can say, oh, like for me, and you can answer the question to give them some time to think about it. You can clarify the question, you can ask another, or you can change the topic. Those are your options if you see fear in action. Happiness, the only true expression of happiness is when you raise these upper cheek muscles along the sides of the eyes. Only one in 10 people can consciously activate those muscles. Fake, it looks like this. On this side, oh yeah, I'm so happy for you, whereas real reaches our eyes. So when we wanna see happiness with value languages is when you've found someone's true spark. You're talking to someone and all of a sudden, they're like, yeah, that really gets me going, I'm so excited about that. Looking for true happiness, you've tapped into someone's true value. The last one I wanna teach you is contempt and that's that one-sided mouth raise we talked about. So, taking away someone's value, taking away something that someone really cares about. You might see the contempt microexpression. So, spark, happiness, preferences, you can see around contempt or if you're asking someone what they think or what they feel about something, they might bring up their preferences and show contempt, and our fear gremlins, that's when we see a fear microexpression, which helps you tap into what motivates someone. So we are almost half-way through. Tomorrow is our Half-Time Show, where I'll give you a little pep talk, review the Path to Connection, I'll give you some insider tips, and after half-time, we're going to go into people hacks and our business and love section. We'll talk about relationships, romance. If you're single or with a partner, it will help on both ends, and also our business section. Challenge for today, I want you to rank your value languages. I also want you to rank your riser's value languages and your intimate's value languages. See if you can guess what they value and then if you can if you feel comfortable, show them this lesson. Go through the workbook with them and see what resonates with them. See how close you were. Alright, it's time to talk about what the most important thing we learned today was. So yeah, Lace. I realized that when I go from making it about myself in a conversation, like what am I going to say next, what do I look like, and I switch it over to now having the tools to read what they're doing and experiencing, I am less anxious and can actually engage. Yeah, so it took down your anxiety just having the knowledge. Yeah. That's wonderful. Someone else, most important thing you learned today? Yeah. That realizing sometimes conflict is because we are valuing different things and so it just sort of brings this other question of oh, let me see if I can better understand where their values really lie. Yeah, absolutely. It's the underlying layer before miscommunication. One more aha moment from today. You were like, ah, I get that, that makes sense to me. Maggie, do you have one? Do you resonate with a value language by chance? Do you have (mumbles)? Yeah, I was really interested in the uniqueness one, but I found it interesting that I don't actually do anything to fulfill that, but it's like something inside of me that I was always like, since I was little. That you value? Well, that might be something to explore is how you wanna act on that value. I love that, and I just learned something new about you too. And we'll see you on our next episode. (audience applauds)

Class Description

Short on time? This class is available HERE as a Fast Class, exclusively for Creator Pass subscribers.

Learn how to inspire, influence, and engage people in this life-changing program with Vanessa Van Edwards.

If you want to succeed in business, life, and love you need to master the science of interpersonal intelligence. Master Your People Skills will show you how to effectively communicate with partners, clients, and colleagues so you can flourish in all aspects of your life.

In Master Your People Skills, Vanessa will teach you the communication methods and relationship-building strategies that will transform your interactions. You will learn how to increase your likability, deal with difficult people, be a master conversationalist, and quickly identify personality types.

This is class has 30 lessons each 45-60 minutes that are comprehensive lessons, activities, and challenges to assess and improve your people skills.

You’ll also develop techniques for overcoming awkward interactions, avoiding toxic people, and building rewarding relationships. Not only will Vanessa show you how to be proud of your in-person interactions, but you will also learn how to communicate more effectively online — via email, text, and social media.

Here’s how Vanessa will help you increase your impact:

  • You will be able to command respect and supercharge your first impression.
  • You will know exactly how to win more deals and attract more clients.By the end of week three you will have learned the art of speed-reading people.
  • You will have mastered your presence to be more persuasive, likable and influential.

Vanessa transformed lives in her previous CreativeLive class, The Power of Body Language. In Master Your People Skills, Vanessa will go beyond non-verbal communication, showing you how to boost your emotional and social intelligence.  



This is the best course I have ever taken on anything, anywhere, ever. As an adult with Asperger’s, I have been studying social skills and nonverbal communication for a long time. All the books I’ve read and other courses like these I’ve watched prior to this one, didn’t even teach me half of what Vanessa has taught me in this course. Master Your People Skills has provided me with literally everything I have ever wanted to learn from inner confidence, charisma, making conversation, making a great first impression, being memorable, etc. Vanessa is such a charismatic, passionate, and knowledgable mentor, who has a real gift of taking her many years of research and hard work, and teaching it in a way that is easy and fun to learn. This course is the real deal, you will be a master after you are finished with it, and I would recommend it to anyone.


I have just finished day 13 and so far the course has been amazing every single day. Vanessa is a great teacher and I love how her work is down-to-earth, practical, very applicable and rooted in scientific research. It's not the usual "ra ra ra, I can turn you into a master people schmoozer-type courses" found elsewhere. Anyone that wants to improve themselves and have better relationships in all aspects of their lives, both professional and personal, should get this course. There is so much quality material in this course, I look forward to going over the videos and the workbook more than once in order to improve my own people skills. The course is worth every penny and much more! Thank you Vanessa!