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Master Your People Skills

Lesson 27 of 31

Supercharge Your Sales


Master Your People Skills

Lesson 27 of 31

Supercharge Your Sales


Lesson Info

Supercharge Your Sales

(audience clapping) Hello, so we are on day 27, Supercharge Your Sales. We're gonna be finishing up learning all of the laws of persuasion. And here are my three goals today. These laws of persuasion and the last ones are really about closing the deal, pitching people, pitching clients. So we're gonna talk about how to get buy-in, how to win every deal, and how to sell like a champion. But as always, I have a little bit of a warmup to get our juices flowing. And I want you to use the techniques that we did yesterday to think about how would you sell this object. So I want you to think about what persuasion techniques could you use from yesterday's sell and I want you to try to sell it to me, okay? Who wants to try? Yeah, do it. You can come on up here. Sell me this object, sell us this object. Hi, how are you? Hi, nice to meet you. So are you stressed? Yeah. Do you feel a lot of things tight in your backside? Yeah. Let me demonstrate something. (audience laughing) Thi...

s is good. This is good. Hey, what is that? This is a really nice tool, and you can keep it handy, keep it in your pocket, in your bag whenever you travel, whenever you fly. Your husband, friend, sister, mother, father, any of those can help you, or even you can just do it yourself, like on your backside, on your forehead, on your head, wherever is the stress. And introductory price, we're selling it for $10. $10? How many of those do you have? I have a whole case. No, you have just one. (laughing) Tell me how you just have one. This is the magic one. This is the only last one. (laughs) Okay, I'll take it. I'll take it for $10. Thank you, thank you. (laughs) (audience clapping) That was good. So what techniques could you have used from yesterday to sell this object? So definitely scarcity, right? Oh there is only one of them. There is only one available. You also use sensory experiences. You actually took me, you gave me sensory experiences. But you also used power words by mentioning family members, and ways to use it, and gave me specific examples about how I could use it, stories of my own life. What else could he do? Yeah. He used the yes ladder. He got you to say yes. Love it. Yes, yes, I'm stressed. Yes, yeah. He could let you hold it to own it. Yeah. Actually touching it was half way there, then you could have said, "Here, try it on yourself." And then I wouldn't have wanted to give it up, right? I would have been like oh yeah, that's good. I wouldn't have wanted to give it back to him. I love it. What else could he have done? Yeah. Also, since it's a little strange-looking object, that you can use the pique technique and just create some kind of funny videos with it. Totally, and you could say like what do you think this is for? Actually the funny thing is, below this slide, I wasn't sure what I was gonna have a sell on, and I was like odd object. So pick an odd object, exactly. It in itself is a pique and disrupt technique. It's kind of a funny thing. Yeah. What else? Yeah. I like that he kinda started by asking you questions. I kinda would have dug into that a little bit more, find out just why you're stressed, and then maybe paint a picture. Right, paint a picture with the words that I used. Use that technique. How stressed are you, why are you so stressed? Oh, you feel tension? Let me tell you about tension. Totally. I love it. That's good. All right. So we're gonna learn the rest of the laws of persuasion to make it even better, and you actually tapped into them already. You're on the right track for what we're gonna learn today. So the eighth law of persuasion is the trust factor. So the trust factor, sorry for all the text but I wanted to explain this study all in one fell swoop, is that verbally, just three minutes of verbal banter decreases the rate at which a doctor is sued and increases his likability. So trust verbally is about exactly what we've been learning, master questioner, law of addition, art of listening. Just three minutes of verbal rapport increases your trust factor. With doctors, what an easy way for them to build rapport right away with asking the right questions. So for us, when we're trying to tap into people's needs, especially if it's emotional pain, not necessarily physical pain, that's why we can build trust. The more important way though, this whole course is a bit about building verbal trust, I think is building nonverbal trust. So nonverbal trust comes down to something called the sociometer. So the sociometer, this is a research experiment that was done at MIT. I didn't get to share this study at my power body language course. I love talking about new body language research. So what MIT researchers did is they wanted to know if your nonverbal could make you more persuasive and make people trust you more. They created a little device that you wear around your neck. It looks kind of like this. I couldn't actually get permission to use the picture but it kinda looks like this little box around their neck, and they had people wear it during pitch competitions. So they went into a big conference. They had to pitch business ideas. And then everyone in the audience voted on their favorite idea. The sociometer measures a couple of different things. It measures movement, posture, hand gestures, physical activity, vocal nuance, and tonal variety. So it listens to everything that's being said and picks up on any kind of body movements. What happened was, is that once the presenters got on stage and they did their pitch, they looked at all the winners and all the losers, and they compared those to the nonverbal patterns that the sociometer picked up. And they found they could accurately predict who would get the most votes based on four specific nonverbal patterns. Pretty crazy, right? That the business ideas, it didn't really have much to do with the actual ideas. Now remember that these are people who are already, it was a business conference, they were already pretty good at pitching. It wasn't like you were gonna get like a terrible idea, but when the verbal, the ideas are all pretty good, the nonverbal can be the difference. It really increases someone's trust in you. And here are the four patterns they found. And this was backed up at Cornell and Northeastern. So MIT found them and then it was backed up twice. They found that four nonverbals specifically trigger concerns about trustworthiness. They are, first, leaning away. When people got on stage, they took a step back and they leaned away from the mic. This also happens in meetings, one-on-one if you lean back or lean away. Leaning away is a distancing behavior. When you're nervous or self-protective, you try to separate yourself from what's in front of you. So that triggers concerns about trustworthiness in the other person. Second, crossing arms. It's one we've heard about since childhood, the importance of keeping our torso open. It's one of the reasons why I teach the launch stance so early in the course. It's 'cause I want you to do 30 days of practicing while keeping your hands loose and by your side, keeping your torso open. Next, touching, rubbing, and grasping hands. This is one I have a really hard time with. So wringing, rubbing, grasping hands is what we do to self-soothe. When we're nervous, we calm our hands down. It's a way to say calm down, it's okay, it's okay. The problem is, is people can't help but associate this nervous behavior with mistrust. And then lastly, touching the face or stomach, so touching the face, holding your hands over your stomach, and this can be sitting or standing, or touching the face of any kind. So biting nails, holding your chin, touching your cheeks, that is a low confidence gesture. It signifies in the other person even if they can trust you, even if it's just genuine nerves, in the other person, it sends up these little alert flags, don't trust them, don't trust them, don't trust them. So I want to eradicate those gestures from our nonverbal when we are pitching. When we're dealing with a really important person, we're on interviews, we're on pitch client meetings, I want to make sure that you don't do any of these moves. So we're gonna actually practice doing these in a second. These show defensiveness, self-protection, avoidance, and anxiety. So here's what I want to do. We are gonna practice our launch stance, open torso, leaning in or neutral. So as long as we're not leaning back, we can be neutral. Or you can even lean on at a point to make that point to them, and no self-touch of any kind, so no touching our stomach, no touching our hands, no touching our face. We're gonna take a moment to practice this, own those nonverbal behaviors, okay? So what I'm gonna do is I'm gonna ask you a table topic, so why doesn't everyone stand up. At home, I want you to answer this question out loud. Okay, I want you to stand up in front of your computer and answer it out loud, so you can practice all four of those nonverbal behaviors. I like this question. The table topic question is, how do you define success? How do you define success? Actually I'm gonna bring someone on stage with me too. Kim, you haven't been up in a while, right? Who is your partner? Michael. Yeah, okay. Okay, cool. Come on up. All right. How do you define success? Ready, go. Tell me. I define success in terms of how I feel. If I'm feeling really free and powerful, if I'm feeling really delighted, then I feel like I've been a success. Okay. Careful with coming off like this. Ah. (Kim laughs) It was good but... (Kim laughs) You were like ah. (laughs) Good feedback, good feedback. I like it. And I'm gonna talk about this, do you feel stiff? Yeah, because I was feeling so self-conscious about not moving. So I could feel a stiffness too. So open torso, shoulders down and relaxed, deep breath. You can also use your hands. So it's not grasping and rubbing. It doesn't mean you can't use your hand gestures. Okay. So nice and loose, and still using hand gestures. Go ahead, Michael. Thank you. For me, success is trying to explain someone, or sorry, teach someone something new. That's when I love to excel. I always love to learn stuff, and especially for body language, this is what I want to bring to someone else, how to explore your inner superpower, which is people knowledge. Yeah, I like it. Nice. Very good, guys. Thank you for that. I'm gonna say that to everyone, the stiffness. Yeah, thank you. Go ahead and sit down. All right, guys. Sit down, please. Awesome. At first, that might not feel, how many of you felt like that was so natural, you already do that anyway? Yeah, I didn't think so. That's okay. I didn't feel that too. I still have to work on this, right? When I'm teaching, all I want to do is do this. This is like where I like to hold my hand. I like to hold my stomach. It's very low confidence, so I work on it too. This is one of those things where the more you do it in low-pressure practice, so you're not focusing on pitching the client, low-pressure practice with a couple of friends, when you're talking to people at the checkout line, that's the place you want to practice it because there is no stakes in it involved, and you can just practice being yourself. I also want to point out that keeping an open torso does not necessarily mean you have to be stiff, and it does not mean you cannot use your hand gestures. Actually, I like when you use your hand gestures. I love when you use your hand gestures. So you don't have to keep them down. You can use your hand gestures but it's just not resting here, okay? So nice deep breath, shoulders down and back, and I want you to practice that in low-pressure practice. Does anyone else feel like that? Yeah. I was actually surprised at how difficult it was for me as the listener to do it because I think when I'm talking, I'm moving my hands. And so, as a listener, I was just sort of down here, and I could actually tell that I was putting my fingertips together. All of a sudden, I think oh no, I'm like I'm self-touching. I kept touching my fingertips. That was really strange. Oh wow. Even that was a self-soothe, right? Sometimes I actually will like shake my hand out. It's like a way for me to get my nerves out. That's also kind of self-soothing. So even a listener, perfect point here that it's not just while you're speaking, it's also while you're listening. Thank you for that. I should have added that. Yeah. I went to the grocery store, and I practiced something like this just with the checker, just facing the checker and looking at them. It's like they went from ugh to like, "Hey, how you doing?" I didn't say anything. Really? Instant switch. Yeah, it makes a huge difference. It makes a huge difference. You're giving people a gift. You're making them feel heard. You're just like oh my gosh, they actually pay attention, they're engaged with me, and that lights us up. You triggered her dopamine, his or her dopamine. So I want us to keep practicing this. This is in our skill worksheet. This is one of those things where I want you to practice on your own, speaking out loud, not self-touching your hands, your stomach, or your face, and in a low-pressure environment. That might take a while. That one skill might take a while. That's okay because the more you practice it, the more natural, you'll be able to rely on muscle memory. After a while, it will start to feel more naturally to hold your hands loose and low. Number nine, social proof. So social proof is that people will do things that they see other people are doing. We trust our own. If we see someone who is like us doing something else, we're like maybe we should do that too. There is a great example of this. Sylvan Goldman started the Oklahoma Humpty Dumpty supermarket chain. And back in the 1940s, in his grocery store, he noticed a peculiar pattern. He noticed that when people came in the store, they had just baskets back then, they'd pick up a basket, and they would shop, and they would always just stop shopping after their basket was full 'cause they had nowhere else to put the goods. He was like well, I think they have more to buy, I want to make a bigger basket. A much bigger basket made it too heavy for housewives to carry. So he was like I'm gonna put the basket on wheels. I'm gonna make it bigger, and put on wheels, and I'm gonna let people push it around, which we know today as a shopping cart. And so, he put it in the store. He's like the double and triple my sales. They're finally gonna want to fill the cart, they're gonna buy more, it's gonna be easier, their arms and shoulders aren't gonna hurt. He puts it out, no one uses them. Can't get anyone to use them. The only ones who are using them are little old ladies. They're the only ones who are like, "Oh wow, I love this cart." And he's like ah, what can I do to get you using these carts. He was a brilliant marketer. He decided to hire beautiful housewives to come and shop at the front of the store with a basket full of food, and shop just in the front of the door, right where people come in and decide if they want to take the shopping cart. And he paid those actresses to stand there all day. It only took about three or four weeks, then everyone was using them. Because he would come in, the housewives would come in, and they would notice oh, a young, nice-looking housewife, she looks like me. She's using that cart, and it's full of the food, the kind of food that I buy for my family. Well, I guess I could use it too, I hate carrying around that heavy cart with my purse, and my kid too. I'm gonna take that cart and put my kid in the front, I'm gonna do it. So he used the principle of social proof to teach and make it okay for people to do it. So I want us to think about how we can use social proof. The other area, aspect of social proof is credibility. Some people who talk about persuasion, they separate credibility from social proof. They'd say that you have to use either media examples or celebrity endorsements. That's a separate area of persuasion. But I actually think it falls in the social proof, that saying that you're on media or other people like you, that's actually a version of social proof. So credibility or celebrity endorsements is a plus on social proof. We do this on our website. I list my media logos that I have my right on my website as a instant social proof. Other ways this happens is by putting up celebrity quotes or partner logos. Some people use social media tickers. You know how you see a post, an article, and it will say 100 other people liked it, 200 people tweeted it. That's all social proof. It's saying you should read this article 'cause 200 other people did, and they liked it and shared it. That's social proof. Yeah. If you are using this thing for your website as a whole, I found that it only works after you reach a sort of critical mass. If you see three people like this website, it's a bit-- It's worse. It's worse. It's worse. It's antisocial proof. Absolutely. One of the things that we had where we switched our website from to And we lost all of our social shares, and so, in some of my old articles, it says zero on all the shares, and I'm like, this is worse than having nothing. We had to seriously consider disabling the whole thing because for a while there, it was all 0000. So yeah, it's a huge problem 'cause it shows the opposite, that no one likes it. Oh then I shouldn't read it either. Testimonial is a way to provide social proof. Stars, reviews, and ratings. On Amazon, they use social proof very clearly when they have ratings, and 400 other people have rated it, and hear all the different reviews. Proof statements. So you see sometimes on websites, or in books, or in programs, "Join 40,000 other readers. "Join 10,000 other students. "Join 300 million more people who have used our product." That's all social proof with social proof statements. So what are ways that you can use social proof when you are trying to persuade? Or what are ways that you've seen it done really well? It's a hard one, I know, but if you can think about it, how can you do it? Yeah. I've been seeing a lot of Instagram hashtags. So for example, retail sites. They'll have a product, and then have people hashtag it, so it shows up on the bottom, so you see people wearing the items. That is a brilliant way of social proof. I've never even seen that before. That's awesome. So a way of using Instagram to bring in social proof to your product. I like it. Yeah. What about, I think it's Amazon, but, where it shows what others bought. Like you bought this book, and those that bought the same book you did also bought these five here. Yeah. Perfect example of really genius social proof. Yeah, recommendation engine that's framed in social proof. But it actually is a great idea for websites to be like you like this course, other people who like this course might like this one. You like this book, maybe you like this one. You like this article, recommended reading? I think I'm gonna change all my recommended reading on my website to be you like this article, other people like these ones that were similar, or some prettier version of that sentence. Yes, I like that, better than the recommended reading. Yeah. A prominent Silicon Valley tech guy tweeted about me, and then someone else wrote to me and said, "Oh I saw this person tweeted about you, "and I wanted to know more about X, Y, and Z." I was like oh. (laughs) Perfect social proof, credible social proof, so that's adding that credibility. When it's a VIP who tweets about it, it's social proof on steroids. Absolutely. What are some ways that you can use it, either for your product or website? How many of you have social proof right now on your product or website? So tell me about how you use it. I use straightforward testimonials and videos. I haven't gotten creative with it yet. (laughs) But I use sometimes language that is directly people's language and not correct it and spell-check it and all the other stuff. Perfect, so it feels authentic? Yeah. Right, you don't make it sound boring. Actually in a weird way, the spell-check, the misspellings are almost like power words because they're real. Yeah, Jason. I use testimonials as well, both video and text. But I also just look at social media in general as just social proof. Absolutely. If anyone is talking about you for any reason, then you know we just have that. Apps, numbers of followers, yeah, making that really prominent. If you have something to share, you want to be really careful if it's antisocial proof, and you have low, which is okay, but just make sure to highlight what works for you. Let's move on to the next segment of sales. Since we're gonna talk a lot about today about how to close a deal, I wanted to bring up a quote from Dale Carnegie. "The only way to influence the other fellow "is to talk about what he wants "and show him how to get it," which is exactly the technique that I want us to take for sales. How do we do this? Point number 10 is use the matrix for your sales techniques. So let's talk about how we specifically apply this to each personality type in OCEAN. So let's say you have an extrovert, low introvert, high extrovert. So you can say ideal client is a low introvert. Here are my favorite principles, and there is no right or wrong answer here about the persuasion laws you can use. But if I have a low introvert who's coming into my office to pitch, either a corporate client or a potential student, for them, the trust factor law is going to be the most important, right? So show them that I respect them. You could have nonverbal and verbal rapport. I'm also gonna make sure that it's one-on-one. I'm not gonna bring my team in there to make sure it's a much smaller group, and I'm definitely not gonna do a loud space. I'm not gonna bring them to a busy coffee shop. I'm gonna try to bring them either to my office or a small, quiet, secluded coffee shop, or their space. I'd say, "Would you like me "to come to your office to see you?" What would you do if you had a low introvert as your ideal client you're pitching? What's some things that you would try? What persuasion law would you use? Yeah. I would actually send out a lot of material upfront because they need time to look at it, and especially if they are an analytical introvert, all the more so. Wow, I love that idea. How about a high extrovert? So for me, if I have a high extrovert, I'm gonna give them tons of social proof. They love other people, and so, showing them all the others who have used it or a big group setting, for them, it's gonna work really well. I also might use the pique technique. Extroverts typically like to experience more, not as much high opens, but they like to try new things or be disrupted, so for them, I try the pique technique. What would you choose or what would you do if you had a high extrovert as a client? What could you do to appeal to them in a pitch meeting? Who has this? Yeah, go ahead. I would invite them to the next event, so some sort of event where there is lots of other people around. Which is perfect because that shows social proof. You have an event that's like here are all my people who are here, and you get to engage in what they find fun. High extroverts feed off of people, so you're like look, my brand can also feed you through events. Conscientiousness. And by the way, I'm just throwing these up here as ways to give you ideas. So remember how we did that big chart of your ideal customer client worksheet? These are ideas for how you can apply these laws in that chart by looking at them. So low conscientiousness, someone who is flexible. I would make sure that I didn't give them too many choices. If you have someone who is low conscientious, who is open to anything, giving them too many choices is actually a punishment. 'Cause they're gonna be like, "That could work. "That could work. "I could use that." So limiting choice and making specific recommendations for them is actually giving them a gift. It's saying to them, "I think that this is the recommendation for you." Avoiding detail overload. So I am a high conscientious person, so I think in details. But if I have someone who is low in conscientiousness come into my office, and I overwhelm them with the details of all these scientific studies, they're like this is not the way I think, this is overwhelming to me. For them, I'm gonna focus much more on big picture. One of my big challenges actually for this course was trying to not do too many details, that I wasn't boring my low conscientious people but also give enough information so that you understood it. That was one of my big challenges with studies. high conscientious, so loss aversion. Why would this work? Why would you use loss aversion for someone who is high conscientious? Yeah. Because they can process a lot of choices. So when you do a loss aversion, you're taking them away, and you're forcing them, at some point to, you know, you got to get with it. Absolutely, yeah. This is so brilliant for somebody right now that has kept me on the line and hasn't booked me because she has met like 30 other photographers but she keeps checking in with me and saying, "Is the date still open? "Are you still?" And I keep saying yes, but I should probably say, "I have someone else reaching out," or kinda put the pressure on because she just keeps going. That's one of those things where you actually have to apply the scarcity principle because you need to set your own boundary. You can't keep holding a date, and that might help her make a decision. Maybe. Yeah. Oh cool. I love it, yeah. And then one thing with high conscientiousness people you can do is do the briefcase technique, and give them a plan of what exactly, what's gonna happen 30, 60, 90 days because it also uses the pique method where no one else is gonna do that for them, and that's what they want. That's exactly what they want. You're fulfilling their need before they even have to ask for it. Yes, giving them a whole plan with the briefcase technique, showing them with the reciprocity effect. All right. Here is what I made for you. Here is the whole list. It's very detail-oriented, facts first, which is the way. I think that's what they appreciate. Agreeableness, so someone who is low in agreeableness, which Dr. Howard Pierce calls the Challenger, what's really important for them is the yes ladder. If you have someone who either is a downer, so they say no a lot, or low agreeable, it means they don't say yes easily. They don't want to be trusting or compliant. They're quite skeptical. What is the thing that you can get them to agree on? How can you get them on the yes ladder with you? That way, they feel much more comfortable saying yes to those slightly bigger yeses. Yes ladder is essential for low agreeable. You never want to use the scarcity principle with low agreeable. Why is that? Why would you not want to do that? Yeah. Just 'cause they say, "Well, forget you." (laughs) Yeah. They're like, "Okay, I can't have you? "Fine. "I don't want you anyway "because I'm not sure if I trust you," right? So you don't want to use the scarcity principle with them. Part of the challenge of using these persuasion laws is when to use them but also when not to use them because you don't want to disrespect their personality type. You're not trying to be manipulative, you're just trying to respect how they like to communicate, so it's when to use them and when not to use them. High agreeableness called the adapter, so I like to use the reciprocity norm because people who are high agreeable, they love that back and forth. They are all about trust and fairness and teamwork. And so, if you offer, they, more than anyone, want to offer back to you. So the reciprocity norm is a really big one, and definitely the power of feelings. Remember that people who are high in agreeableness can accurately predict another person's mentality. So using the power of feelings and sensory experiences, this is a great way to tap into what they already think about. They already think in feelings. What else would you try for either high or low agreeableness? Who has a client who they think is particularly high or low in agreeableness? Okay, so let's break it down a little bit further. So someone who you feel like they're often saying no to things. They're either too busy or they're afraid to say yes. That would be low agreeable. Or someone who is like, "Yeah, let's work together," always saying yes to things. Yeah. So for the low, maybe it would be, you could give them something small to sort of start with, like hey, maybe you just try this one thing before going to a bigger thing. Yeah, trials. Yeah, I think that's a great idea. I think also a kinda loss aversion could work, saying, "You can try it. "No risks. "Just try it for free, and see if you like it. Very good idea. Neuroticism, so low are called resilient, any (laughs) because low neurotics are so incredibly stable and low emotional reactive, they respond pretty well to all of them. None of them really offend them. And they're usually willing to go on a journey with you. So you can use any if you have a low neurotic. High neurotic or reactives, yes ladder, so starting with what you can say yes on. Minimizing risk, so it's really important with neurotics to show them there is very little risk here. I am taking as much risk out so that you can try this without having to get too out of your comfort zone. And they need a lot of reassurance in their pitch. Yeah. How do you feel about using loss aversion on them? Let's see. So if we did loss aversion, that would be like a free trial or a free subscription, and that would work because you're letting them try it risk-free. They can try it for 30 days without doing anything. Yeah. I like that. Yeah. Would you use scarcity here? Because I feel it'd make them go kinda crazy. (audience laughing) I think you have to be really careful with it. I think if it's transparent, if it's authentic scarcity, then definitely 'cause you're giving them more information. So as a high neurotic, I'm like thinking to myself okay, if I'm a high neurotic, and I'm hiring a photographer for my wedding, and they tell me, "Look, there are 17 weekends. "That's a really popular weekend "that you want to book me. "I'm just letting you know I can't hold it for you." That actually gives me more information, and I like it. So I think yes if it's authentic. Yeah, you never want to risk that by trying something that is fake. Yeah. Money-back guarantee would be-- Money-back guarantee, refunds, absolutely. That's a really great way to minimize risk, and we're gonna talk about minimizing risks in a second. High neurotics love that, money-back guarantee or free returns, Free shipping, yes. Yeah. So basically, a previous study, you had talked about women being, in general, more neurotic. Yeah. So that means that all these principles, if you're selling anything that is a woman-specific product, you should be following all of it. (laughing) If it's the product for women? Yeah like clothes or fashion or shoes. Typically. That's one of the reasons why Zappos and Amazon, they have free shipping, free returns, lots of social proof. Yeah, absolutely. Try to take out as much risk as possible from the shopping experience 'cause they know that if they have a worrier woman who is shopping, that's gonna stop her from trusting the brand, or stop her from making decisions 'cause she's afraid it's gonna be the wrong decision. Totally. Openness/originality. So low openness, scarcity principle and social proof. These are the ones that I suggest. Why is that? Why would you want to use social proof, for example, for someone who is low open? So they're not really open to ideas, they're not super curious, they really like to take their time, they're analytical, why would that work? Yeah. They want to see that it's worked for someone else that's kind of like them. Yeah, absolutely. So what really works well with social proof testimonials, if you know you have low open people, people who are very analytical, they don't like to make a decision easily, is to have testimonials that showcase the struggle. For example, in some of our testimonials 'cause I have a lot of programmers and introverts, they take a long time to trust me, which I think that's great. I have other testimonials from other programmers who say, "You know, it took me a few months to buy this course. "I wasn't sure if it was for me. "After reading the blog for a couple of weeks, "I decided okay, I was gonna make the leap." I include that in their testimonial, so they can hear someone else going through the struggle of I'm not sure, I'm not sure, okay, I'm doing it. So highlighting that in testimonials. High openness, explorer, pique technique. If you can give a high open person adventure or something that stimulates them, you're feeding into something that they love. They want new experience. For this course, I talk about how this is an adventure because I want high open people to be like oh that sounds fun, that sounds fun to me. The reciprocity norm. Why would I say that for openness/originality? Why would that work, giving a little bit to get a little bit back? So that, in itself, can feel like an adventure. Josh, were you gonna say something? No? I guess it's kinda giving them a taste of the adventure that they could have. Yeah, absolutely. Showing them, look, look how good this little free chocolate is. There is so much more adventure inside this store, right? Giving a little bit of a taste of what happens, and then it's okay. Something the reciprocity norm is actually a great way to warm people up, like saying, "Here is what it's like to work with me. "I give you free gifts," or, "I give you a free consult, and it's okay." it might be actually fun for you. So let's move on. Take that, exactly what we just learned because that's really essential for this next step, which is step 11, finding the pain. People will do anything to solve their pain points. In other words, your customer's problems are your problems. Here is what I mean. In our example, Westjet, so Westjet is a airline, what they did for a marketing campaign is they decided to ask people what their Christmas wish list was. So they got to the airport, and Westjet has set up a little kiosk, and they got to the kiosk, and then said, "What is your Christmas wish list?" It was like two days before Christmas. People were like typing in, "I want an iPad. "I want a big TV. "I want socks and underwear." And they got on the plane, and Westjet employees went and got all of those gifts. And when I got to baggage claim, they had wrapped the gifts, and down the baggage claim came gifts from Santa, from their holiday wish list. So Westjet didn't think about what do we want for our customers? They said, "We're gonna give our customers "exactly what they want." It wasn't about Westjet, it wasn't about the flight. Of course, there's a couple of people who actually wanted flights home, and Westjet was happy to give them tickets. But that campaign, it has 38 million views on that video. You're welcome to go watch that video on my website if you want. It's on, have a bunch of the videos that I talk about. It's an amazing viral video because they did what customers wanted, not what they wanted. John Paul Mitchell is another example of this. So John Paul Mitchell has hair products, and he came into the hair product industry when it was already saturated. I mean the hair product industry is extremely hard to break into. In his books, he talks about what he did to get his hair products to stand out. What he did was he solved the hair salon's problems. So instead of saying, "I want you to buy my shampoo "because you'll love it, and it's a great product," he said, "I wonder what someone's problem is." So he went into different hair salons, and he asked hairdressers, "What's your biggest problem when you're cutting hair?" And they said, "We lost a lot of money with resources. "We use a lot of water and a lot of product. "It goes down the drain. "And time. "We can only get so many people in here every day "to see them, and that lowers our bottom line. So he sold, the very first product he sold was leave-in hair conditioner. And what he did is he ignored all the hair salon beauty product chains, he went right to the hairdressers, and he said, "If you use this leave-in conditioner, "it's gonna save you water. "You're not gonna have to rinse it out. "It's gonna save you product "because you're gonna have to use less of it. "It's gonna save you time "because it's one less step in the washbasin. "It also makes you cut hair faster "'cause the scissors move to the hair smoother "when there's leave-in conditioner in it." What happened? Hairdressers were like, "Give it to me. "Get rid of every other product. "I don't want to use any other conditioner." And John Paul Mitchell is one of the biggest hair product carriers in the world. He's in all of the salons. You'll notice he's usually in the salons. And that's why. It's 'cause he tried to solve the salon, the hairdressers' problems. So what's your customer's pain point? What is their problem? I want you to think about it. I want you to turn to your partner and talk about what is your partner's problem at home. I want you to list many problems, every single problem or pain point that your customer or colleague or boss has, whoever you're trying to pitch. I want you to list all of their worries and problems. All right. Who hasn't been up on stage with me in a while? Josh? Yeah, come on up. Yes, yes. Perfect. Turn to your partner. Talk about pain points. Hey, you said Josh, so I was surprised. (laughs) I'm sorry. Yes, I wasn't sure who, and then thank you for raising your hand 'cause everyone was like. (laughing) All right. So what is your customer's pain point? They think they're never gonna get unstuck. Okay. So they're frustrated, and they're never gonna get unstuck. What's the specific? Get really specific. A lot of them are relationship, like something in the relationship is holding them back whether it's a business relationship or personal. Better. That's gonna be more specific. That gives us a little bit more to work on. Customer, what is their problem, what is their pain point? So the umbrella is their autoimmune symptoms get in their way of being in their life, so it's fatigue, it's digestion issues, it's low energy, it's headaches, migraines, any ailment that you can have like itchy skin. It stops them from living their life. Okay. Those are very specific pain points. So what I want you to do is I want you to take those pain points, and we're gonna actually write out a script, and I want you to use the words that you think your client uses. Okay, so when your client comes to you and said, "Here is my problem with the relationship," blank, blank, blank. I want you to use those words, and we're gonna use those in script. Thank you very much. Thank you very much. Thank you. All right. So we are going to use those pain points, and I want you to actually think about the words your clients or customers use. When they're explaining the pain point to you, what words are they using? I want you to use those, and that's what we're gonna do to close the deal. So we've talked about rapport, we've talked about first impression, we've talked about how to build trust, we've even talked about a graceful exit. But in a pitch or something that comes in-between, which is closing the deal, getting your ask, and making sure that they see ah, this person can provide value to me. This is where I want to spend my time, energy, and my money. So here is the formula, here is my script for how to close a deal, and it's under solving the pain. You are not selling your product, you are not selling your service, you're selling a solution to their problem. That's what you are selling, a solution to solve their problem or pain point. When you're going in to close the deal, here is what I want you to start with, your why. The what, how, why. We're starting with the why, why it is you do what you do. And you might have already done this in your meeting. Fantastic. If you haven't done it yet, I want you to do it right here. Why do you do what you do, not what. Not your benefits but why. Second, quantifying the value of your solution. How amazingly can you solve their problem? I'm gonna give you an example of this in a second. Next, what's your secret sauce? So acknowledging the competition and your advantage. So the reason why I put here acknowledging the competition, you don't actually have to specifically name competition. But when you're saying, "Here is why I do something. "Here is how amazingly it can fix. "It's a solution to your problem. "Other people don't." Or, "What we do special is." That's what goes here. It's your differentiator. So you can do it either specifically against commission. You heard me do this in the live section of my course. If you want to watch how this works in action, I suggest you go back and watch section one where I said why I do this, it's 'cause I think that people, we need to stop people from using a black box, and to be able to share their talent with the world. That's my why. I want people to share their inner awesome. Next, we've helped thousands of audiences around the world with our secret sauce. Most people tell you to be an extrovert, or they give you a lot of informative information but they don't tell you how to do it. So ours is actionable and science-based. So using those principles as well as a little bit of social proof. And then lastly, substantiate your claim. So using examples and even more social proof. You've already used it here. Let me show you how this works and how people do it all the time. Oh little asterisk here is to remove future pain. So if you have a low extrovert or a high neurotic, you can also mention here, "And if it doesn't work out for you, no problem. "I have guarantees, refunds, free trials, or freemiums." If you want to add that in, you can as well. Here is how that works with allergy spray, for example. I just took a random product. Why. Sorry for all the writing. We believe people should enjoy the outdoors and every season without suffering. Quantify, our spray works against all seasonal allergies. Secret sauce, it's the only spray that tackles pet dander and pollen. Social proof, it's being used by 3.3 million Americans right now. Future pain, if you don't feel relief, return for a full refund. So that is a very, very persuasive pitch. It's basically a script for a commercial. We're hitting all of those points. So I want you to actually write this out for yourself. Even if you don't have a product that you're selling right now, I want you to do it just for practice. Pick a random object in your room, and write the script for that object just so you can get in the habit of thinking in the way of closing the deal. Yeah, go ahead. For future pain, for something like a coach, how would you address that? Do you want to set up a free 30-minute consult? So we can get to know each other. And do you use contracts? I haven't done anything yet. This is all brand new. Got it. So you can say, "I don't work on contracts, "so if it ever feels like it's not working out, "that's no problem." Or if you do decide to work on contracting, you can say, "If, at any time, you want to revisit the relationship "after a few weeks, that's totally fine. "We can do that." So it's taking in that risk. The free consult though is the best way to remove the future risk. So I want you to turn to your partner, at home, I want you to pick either your product or a random product in your room, and try to start with why, what's the why of this product, quantify it, what's your secret sauce that makes you from competitors, what's a little bit of social proof or some examples you can give, and future pain, future pain. So who hasn't come up yet? Yeah. Come on up. Yes. Turn to your partner. I want to help you, each other out. This might take a little bit longer but just to get in the habit, help each other out a little bit. So do you have specific product that you want to sell. Like curly or? Curly, like a service. Yeah, pretty much it's coaching. (laughing) Coaching. So do you want to try and do it? We'll both try to do it pretty quickly? Your why is actually already there. I think so. What's your why? Why is I want to help you bring out your true self. Perfect. Pretend it's a commercial. You wouldn't actually speak to a client like this in a meeting. I'll help you bring out your true self. (laughs) It sounds like a good commercial. And there is more. Quantify, so why does your service work? Because I'm here to help people. How do I quantify? Quantify, so what is it able your service that makes it so they will change? Quantifying the value of what you offer. Because I'm trying help people that have been through what I've been through, so I kinda understand what they're coming from. Got it. That's it. I have been there. Okay. I know what this is like. I'm not an expert looking in, I know exactly going through this service, my methods work for me. Okay. That's the quantify. That's what makes you different than your competitor. That's actually both, right? 'Cause that's what makes you different than someone else who hasn't been through it. You're not preaching from a high tower, this is you. Yeah. Yes. Oh perfect. (laughs) So yeah, social proof. I know you're new in your business. Was there social proof? Have you worked with people before? No, I'm in the process of trying to understand it. Sure. So in the beginning, you're not gonna have very much social proof but you can talk about your credibility, degrees, experience, hours you put in. Okay. That's where you put social proof until you're like I've helped hundreds, thousands one day. Yes, thousands one day. Perfect. Future pain, do your clients need reassurance just in case? Yeah, definitely. I would definitely do that. Okay, so what would you add at the end? I'll say that if this service hasn't completely fulfilled your need, I'd definitely return the-- Return the money. Like full refund back, yeah. I would sign up on it right now. (laughing) Right on. Here you go. Yeah. Awesome. Okay, your turn. Okay. So I'm gonna look at that. So why? Why do you do what you do? The why I came up with was because we believe that great companies, slash, great ideas deserve great customers. I like that. That's a great tagline. That's a great tagline. Awesome. What makes you different? Quantify and secret sauce together? If you can, yeah. Is quantify like where we're gonna get them or? It's why this is going to work basically. I'll try and tie in the three together then. Okay. So most agencies focus on SEO rankings and pretty pictures but we focus on revenue, not rankings. Perfect. That is definitely your secret sauce. Definitely. I want a little more about quantify. How much can you fix it? Can I do that with social proof? Of course. So for example, last month, we launched a new client site, and in one week after launch, he doubled the number of calls he was getting. One week? That's a good one, man. That's quantify, social proof, the same. Do they need future pain help? Future pain would be and there is no obligations right now. The first step is signing up for a 60-minute call, and if we can't help you, we'll tell you, and you can fire us right there. Somewhere along those lines. That is like no risk. Perfect. And that will work really well if you're in a networking event, and you think you've found an ideal client, that is the perfect pitch. It's very casual in networking that you could say that to someone. Like the why, the quantify? Yeah, you could absolutely say that in a networking event very casually. I want to ask you about one thing. Sure. For the what, I'm testing this thing where if I meet a CEO, I'm like, "We help CEOs sleep better at night," and they're gonna be like, "Why?" I'm like, "By getting you more paying customers." I like that. I like that. That's pique technique. I'm an extrovert. I like that kind of stuff. But I would really like that. So it depends on the person. I think you should try it. Experimental mindset. Try it three times, and see how many of those responses are positive. Try it five times, and see how many responses are positive. Cool, guys. Yes, yes. Thank you. Awesome, bro. Okay. This was the last activity for today because it takes us a little bit to hone this down. This is either what you're gonna say, and you can do this in three or four sentences. We were just talking about how they could use this in a networking event, or they could use it in a commercial YouTube video, or they could use it on their website, and it could be both written or verbal, so it could be speaking or written on your website as your little blurb, your top paragraph. I want you to hone this. I want to get home, and I want you to script it out, and I want you to try it. Show it to friends, show it to your ideal customers, and say, "Does this resonate with you? "What part of it lost you?" 'Cause the experimental mindset is going to help you pick the right words to use, the right formatting to use. Yeah. So we had that exact experience just now as we were practicing, and I was saying it out loud, and Michael says, "Oh my gosh, write that down. "Those word pairings totally make sense." And that's good for me to know because in my own head, it's like ah maybe it's this, maybe it's that, but actually having a conversation with somebody else and getting their input is really valuable. I totally agree. So I want you to combine the laws of persuasion and the experimental mindset. Combine those two skills so that you make sure that you're getting the feedback you need. That's also gonna make you feel more confident saying it. If it's all in your head and then you're like, "Okay, someone is gonna ask me what I do. "Someone is about to ask me." (audience laughing) And they ask you and you're like, "Well, I," and you deliver it because you've never delivered it before, and you're following the formula. It doesn't feel so natural, and you're super nervous. You have no idea what they're gonna say. But if you try it in low-pressure areas and get feedback with your ideal client, it feels better. Yeah. Yeah, it's funny you say that. I think even if you did what you just said, when I was talking with Lacie, and I kinda sorta knew what she did but as we were go through them, I'm like, "Actually I want to buy this." Wait, I want to hear it. There is no risk? (audience laughing) I want to hear it. I want to hear it. Tell me, Lacie. What is it? Okay, do yours, do yours. I believe that our passion and message is the most important thing that we can share with the world. That is your why, yes. Quantify, we do it all for you, so it's like easy button. Secret sauce, other people miss critical things, and therefore their launches fail or don't hire the right person. And then social proof, we've worked with New York Times best sellers. Yeah, huge major clients. And then I don't charge anybody for a consult, so that's totally risk-free. So yeah, I'm gonna help you with your product launch because other people, they either fail, or they can't get their idea out there. It removes all future pain. And we do it all for you easy button. I want you to actually boldify that. So obviously we just did it but I want you to say it so that you're boldifying it because those are really strong words but you're saying them in a like apologetic way. Obviously 'cause we were just talking. So I want you to practice boldifying it, and see what words feel right to you. Okay. Yeah. For our business, I have a part here that she may probably add the percentage also. Oh percentages. Yeah, like 90% of my campaigns were super successful or whatever that it was there. Or 0% of my campaigns had failed. 0% failure or. Because if I'm a client, if I hired her, I would be like, "Oh wow, man. "I got to hire her." Yeah, I've never had a campaign fail, 0%. Thank you. Yeah. The thing I also learned in marketing, I'm strongly against it but a marketer, mentor of mine does it is he has a spiel that says, "If you don't buy this, then," and that's where you start to punish people for not buying your product. You put them in a fear mode. Yeah. Doing that puts them in low fear mode. That is a motivation technique. And if you truly believe in it, if, for example, you think that, I think like for obesity, you do that. I actually think that's worth it because if you're like, "If you don't do this, "if you don't get your weight under control, "you could die young of heart disease." That might justify the ends, it might justify the means there. We have to be really careful with those 'cause you do put people into fear mode. I saw another hand. Yeah, I was just following up on this. The thing that we emphasize for you, Lacie, is if this doesn't go well, I don't get paid. And so, I'm in this with you. Like my success is your success. Yeah. That is the best way to remove future pain, and to build trust. Super team building. I love it. If it doesn't go well for you, it doesn't go well for me, and I don't get paid. It's like a no-risk trial for me, and I want a partner. So I want to take these techniques, I want to hone them. We're gonna start to talk about digital people skills tomorrow, so how to translate this in the online world, in your emails, on the phone when you're doing pitches. We're gonna go over how to be a social media powerhouse, online communication skills, and phone communication skills. Number 29. I'm like really excited for awesome club. For day 29, I'm gonna show you how to up your personal power. We're gonna build a support team, and I want to start achieving your goals. Awesome club is right when we go from business to goals section. The last two days are goals, goal-oriented. Your challenge for today is I want you to interview one customer on their pain points and problems. We've been guessing today on pain points and problems. I want you to actually sit with your ideal person, and ask them what their problems are, and write down the words they use. So if they say, "I'm having trouble sleeping," I want you to use that phrase. If they say, "My business keeps me up at night," I want you to use that phrase. Use the words that they tell you about in your interview. And second, I want you to brainstorm how you can solve them, putting them into that formula we just learned on how to close a deal. See how you can fit those words into what you say verbally and on your website. It's time for what's the most important thing you learned to today. I want to know your aha moments. In your audience, what do we got? Yeah. I think building on the why to solve the pain is just incredible because you're starting from a high, from a great place, and then you're telling that person exactly why they need you. So you have the script and then practicing it with people that you love and that are safe is gonna be great. And your ideal customer. By the way, permission marketing, asking someone, "Hey, can I practice a pitch on you," like, "You're my ideal customer, "and I'm just trying to work out the kinks. "Can I practice this with you? "Would you mind?" You might actually get an amazing customer 'cause you're using the Franklin effect. You're being extremely transparent. You're getting them on the yes ladder. And then you're using the how to close the deal formula. Yeah, I like that. What else? Are there aha moments? Yeah. I think for me, when we did the exercise, I'd say it was the why part. Usually I would not start with that, and I could see people just kinda like getting lost, but when I did the why, I could see you got more interested from that, and then I can build on it. Share your why, it's so good. We believe that the best companies deserve great customers. I want that. (audience laughing) Yeah. I was like, "Yeah, tell me more, tell me more." Yeah, absolutely. That's why we start there. One more aha moment or things you're gonna change after today. Yeah. It just further emphasizes for me the value of really short, to the point language, and kinda hammering that home, making sure that you're covering all this just with very short things. Boldify. Yeah. Boldify. Leaders know how to boldify and be direct with their words. I want to hear your most important moment today, your aha moment. Tweet me at the event, and we're gonna use the hashtag #PeopleSkills. Definitely. You have a special reward for our participants, don't you? I do. For all 30 days, you'll get my dating entrepreneur course, the best of the best answers. We've got some great answers coming in already. Now don't forget, you can have the course workbook as well. In fact, I really recommend that you have this. It doesn't matter what part of the course you're joining us from. Whether you started at day 23 and working backwards, it doesn't matter. The workbook is really, really vital. There are some wonderful exercises in here that you can do at home that Vanessa won't actually be covering while we're live, and that is a bonus when you upgrade for the purchase. Thank you so much for being with us for this segment. We hope to see you back for the next one very soon. (clapping)

Class Description

Short on time? This class is available HERE as a Fast Class, exclusively for Creator Pass subscribers.

Learn how to inspire, influence, and engage people in this life-changing program with Vanessa Van Edwards.

If you want to succeed in business, life, and love you need to master the science of interpersonal intelligence. Master Your People Skills will show you how to effectively communicate with partners, clients, and colleagues so you can flourish in all aspects of your life.

In Master Your People Skills, Vanessa will teach you the communication methods and relationship-building strategies that will transform your interactions. You will learn how to increase your likability, deal with difficult people, be a master conversationalist, and quickly identify personality types.

This is class has 30 lessons each 45-60 minutes that are comprehensive lessons, activities, and challenges to assess and improve your people skills.

You’ll also develop techniques for overcoming awkward interactions, avoiding toxic people, and building rewarding relationships. Not only will Vanessa show you how to be proud of your in-person interactions, but you will also learn how to communicate more effectively online — via email, text, and social media.

Here’s how Vanessa will help you increase your impact:

  • You will be able to command respect and supercharge your first impression.
  • You will know exactly how to win more deals and attract more clients.By the end of week three you will have learned the art of speed-reading people.
  • You will have mastered your presence to be more persuasive, likable and influential.

Vanessa transformed lives in her previous CreativeLive class, The Power of Body Language. In Master Your People Skills, Vanessa will go beyond non-verbal communication, showing you how to boost your emotional and social intelligence.  



This is the best course I have ever taken on anything, anywhere, ever. As an adult with Asperger’s, I have been studying social skills and nonverbal communication for a long time. All the books I’ve read and other courses like these I’ve watched prior to this one, didn’t even teach me half of what Vanessa has taught me in this course. Master Your People Skills has provided me with literally everything I have ever wanted to learn from inner confidence, charisma, making conversation, making a great first impression, being memorable, etc. Vanessa is such a charismatic, passionate, and knowledgable mentor, who has a real gift of taking her many years of research and hard work, and teaching it in a way that is easy and fun to learn. This course is the real deal, you will be a master after you are finished with it, and I would recommend it to anyone.


I have just finished day 13 and so far the course has been amazing every single day. Vanessa is a great teacher and I love how her work is down-to-earth, practical, very applicable and rooted in scientific research. It's not the usual "ra ra ra, I can turn you into a master people schmoozer-type courses" found elsewhere. Anyone that wants to improve themselves and have better relationships in all aspects of their lives, both professional and personal, should get this course. There is so much quality material in this course, I look forward to going over the videos and the workbook more than once in order to improve my own people skills. The course is worth every penny and much more! Thank you Vanessa!