How Do I Change Your Value?
How do I change your value? So if pricing yourself is your value, how do I change it? Like I can give you a number, but you're going to go out and not make any money with it, because you do not believe it. Right, I can challenge your blocks, I can uncover your core belief around value, and now I have to change it, I have to shift it. Right, 'cause if you're in avoidance, I avoided educating my clients around money. So what I used to do, was I was so much avoidant around money, I would not actually say the price, and then I would offer the service I would do, and then somewhere, I'd have to have this uncomfortable conversation about somebody has to pay for that. And I'd be like, "That's $900," and people would be like, "What?" You've all had that, right, you've gone to sell a service, and somebody has just looked at you and said, "I'm sorry, what?" Where in this world do you go and get a service done and not talk about how much it's gonna cost, and then be shocked at the end, when someb...
ody says you have to pay for it? What, did they think it was free? Yes, apparently they did. Because I never mentioned money. I was too busy avoiding saying my worth. So if you're in avoidance right now, you're marketing from a price of saying your price out loud. Your marketing from a price of no value, zero. In fact, if you're not going to say how much you cost, you might as well be working for free. If you are guilt and shame right now, you will stop receiving period, so don't bother pricing yourself, nobody's gonna pay you. In fact, don't even bother. If you're in guilt and shame right now, you cannot price yourself. If you are stuck between the newbie price and the profit price right now, it's 'cause you're in guilt and shame. You can't even put a number on yourself. Who's there, come on, somebody give me a hand. Oooo, I saw 10 hands, I saw 10 hands. Ouch, this is your jam right here. You can't even put a number on yourself. You're not even in the race. You know the horse races, and the gates open, and the horses are galloping, but you didn't even get in. You're still at the back with the horse like this. (crowd laughing) And it's embarrassing, 'cause everyone else is like, "And they're coming around the raceway, number eight, number eight didn't even get in the stall." (crowd laughing) And the best part is, is you're like, "Yeah, I'm in business, yeah I'm in business." Selling what? You're selling horseshit. I'll tell you right now, that's what you're selling. Because there is nothing, nothing about what you just did, nothing about selling anything. You can't even tell me how much you cost. Half of you, you are worth more. You are worth getting paid. You're worth at least a thousand dollars a day. And if not, start at 500, 500's a good number. Just pick a number, and start dealing with the aftermath that comes from saying the number. 'Cause that is the work that you have to do. Now, it's almost impossible to make a sale if you can't price yourself. And I say almost possible, it is actually impossible. And the state in which you dwell, okay, I wanna bring you back to stop making it about you, and stop making it about blocks for one minute, and make it about the service you're giving. Now, everybody hears this, give service, give service, give service, give service, and then ask for money. And then what you do is, if you're an over-giver like me, you're gonna give, and give, and bleed, and give, and give, and bleed, and give, and give, and nobody's gonna return it 'cause you're an over-giver. And so, that's just what happens to the over-giver. You give, and give, and give, and I would look at you, and I would say, "I'm giving service, I'm giving everything I've got, and nobody's paying me." Yeah, actually you're not, you're over-giving. But the truth is, is if you're not in over-giving, give service instead of trying to get paid. Because never in the times where you're telling me you can't price yourself, did any of you tell me what I'm getting and I'm paying. So you're so far removed from what you're actually doing, you're actually reflecting out, somebody value me, but you're actually not giving any service, and you're not putting a price on it. So you're actually not doing anything. What you're doing, is you've just become a gaping hole of need. On Facebook, that's what you are. And you're predicting that you're in business, and like Tiffany said, the fastest way to know yourself is to start a business. Alright, now the person who is an over-giver, is going to struggle to sell without over-giving. Have a list of rewards that you can give, and hold them until the negotiation. So an over-giver's gonna go, "I'll give you this, and I'll give you this, and I'll throw in the extras, and I'll throw in this, and I'll throw in the pink box, and I'll throw in this, and I'll give you some vouchers to go to a day spa," and then they'll go, "Cool, how much is that?" "$1,800." "Cool, can I have a discount?" And you've just already given like everything. You've given your arsenal just to get up to 1,800. Whereas a normal person in business would stay quiet, leave it right 'til the end, and then say, "How much is that?" "1,800." "Can I have a discount?" "Yes, I can give you a hundred dollars off, or I can give you a choice of this upgrade, this upgrade, or this upgrade." But until you practice it and know your worth, you are not going to shift it. Now, don't get me wrong, this is not about being subservient. I'm telling you to give service, give service. I'm telling you it's not about you. It's not about you going, "Look at everything that I've done for you. Look at everything I've done for you." It's about valuing your time and service so much that it's an equal exchange of, Jennifer, you've come into my space. I have done a service for you. You are paying me for that honor. I have honored you, you honor me, I honor myself, and that is business. So when you tell me you can't even put a number on your service, you don't have a service. You don't even have one, so right now, that's what you need to work on. You need to go and work on what it is you're actually giving me. And then tell me how much, 'cause how am I gonna buy it until you give it to me? Now, when you practice negotiation with no boundaries, how's that gonna go for you? Okay, trust me, I had no boundaries, so negotiation for me, was kind of like, somebody running over me and then telling me how it was gonna be. This guy walked into my studio one day, back in my worst non-boundary days, maybe 2009, and he said to me, "My wife's bought $2, worth of photographs, I'm going to give you $500 cash now, and I'm going to take the lot." And I said yes, now to all intent and purpose, he just stole from me, and basically threatened me, and I did not know what to say, so I said, "Okay." And that's what used to happen to me back then. People would overpower me because in any area you are disempowered, somebody will overpower you. And any area you are disempowered, somebody is going to overpower you. If you are, 10 of you have already told me, and if these 10 people putting up their hand is 15, there are 15 people in this room that are disempowered when it comes to pricing yourself. You are not even out of the gate yet. And you're already telling me you can't race because you are disempowered. You can't even get in that store. And so right now, if I empower you in pricing. If I empower you in service and value, you're going to step up and start running. And you are going to be shocked. Because you will probably get rejected, and you will probably fall down a couple of times. But you know what else, you're gonna get paid. Oh, you're gonna get paid. And you know, people say to me, "What if they don't buy anything?" And I say, "What if they buy more?" You don't know until you're running. But you're not even in it. So if you're telling me that you can't put a price on you, and you can't tell me what your service is, then you are not even in the race yet. Why can't I attract the perfect client? I hear this daily. Do you know what my answer is? You are attracting the perfect client. They're showing you your worth right now. Ouch, if your client right now is telling you you're worthless, you're not good enough to charge what you're charging, and who do you think you are, that's what you believe. Your client is the perfect client right now, because they are telling you the truth of what you believe, and what you're admitting. So when somebody says to me, "How do I attract the perfect client?" Everybody thinks they want a rich client. That's not true, rich people don't spend as much money as poor people, that's why they're rich. (crowd laughing) Okay, poor people will drop $1,500 on a 55-inch plasma screen without thinking twice about it, and buy whatever you've got going because they love it, and they want it, and they don't value money, they value things. And you know, I've seen some of the wealthiest clients in the world who are wearing their money, have nothing in the bank, in fact, the ones that aren't wearing it have more. And I never wanted a rich client, I wanted a client that believed in what I do. And so, when you ask me, "Why aren't I attracting the perfect client right now?" You are, I want you to write a list of the last 10 most horrible things your last clients did to you. One client said this to me. "You're worthless, I wouldn't spend $400 with you." One client said this to me. "How do you sleep at night?" One client said this to me. "Who do you think you are?" One client said, I want you to write the 10 most hurtful things that you have experienced in the last year from people responding back to you when you tell them what you're worth, and I need you to confront that list to yourself. This is your voice being mirrored back to you. Because it is not what they say when you tell them how much you cost, it is not what they say to you, it's how you feel about their response. Service is not what you're doing, it's what you're being. So when I tell you to give service, you must come from a place of giving, not from a place of needing validation. Because your being will get in the way immediately. Immediately, it is not what you are doing, it is what you are being, you need to write this list. And you need to know that you have become a mirror. Okay, my accent, a mirrah, not a mirror. I'm a mirrah, so you are a mirrah. Your family are gonna respond to your pricing mirror. Oh, you've all heard it right? Who in your family told you you're never gonna get paid? Who in your family said, "Who do you think you are? Nobody's gonna pay for that." Who else said there's too many people in this industry? There's too many, everybody's in photography. Everybody's in sales, everyone's a designer, everyone's a painter, everyone's an illustrator, everybody's a graphic designer, you're never gonna make it. Everybody has an opinion, because you are looking for validation, but your clients will also respond. "You're not worth it, who do you think you are, how do you sleep at night?" The baseline is this, this will immediately uncover the internal value of your belief system in you the second you show that list back to yourself. Those are your words, you never get hurt by anybody unless they say the truth. The truth to you is what hurts you. Okay, if somebody says something to me, and it's not true, it doesn't hurt me. It only hurts when it's true, it only hurts when it's you, your core belief. You shift that, and then put a price on what you do, and then practice it, it's called pricing mirror testing. Price your mirror, pricing mirror. I'm gonna put my pricing mirror out there, and I'm gonna see what people reflect back at me, 'cause it's gonna come instantly in my income. Straight away, instantly in my income. That mirror is gonna show you back.