Now what we get to talk about is the good stuff. The good stuff is what is the antidote to the blocks. Now, what we said earlier is paying attention to the one that is the biggest for you and that's gonna be a domino effect for the rest of them. When I talk about the practice, which I will in each one, sometimes you may be able to use that practice even if you have a different block. It's free. You can use the practice for whatever block you have but specifically, the practice I give you for this block that you're in, is the one that you're gonna want to keep repeating over and over and over again. So we'll talk about the practice. And then we'll also, at the end of each segment, talk a little bit about some of the questions that are in the workbook. The workbook that you get with the class has more, so when you go back and rewatch it, you can continue to work in the workbook, work through your section and really get to a place where you can begin to resolve it. Let's hit our first one...
is avoidance. The antidote to avoidance is action. Of course, it's action, but the thing about avoidance is the reason we're avoiding is because we don't want to take action. This is what has us stuck. But the real reasons that we don't want to take action come down to actually two things. Because we think it's always just anxiety, like, "I feel anxious about doing this and so I avoid it." But really, it's also apathy. I end up on this side of the scale more often that not because if there's something that I really need to do I really need to take a nap! (audience laughing) I really don't feel like it all the sudden. I really have other things that I'd just like, "Ah it's not that big of a deal." We talked already in avoidance about money's just not that important to me. That's apathy. So I always say the antidote to either apathy or anxiety is always action! And we're not gonna move through avoidance until we can get to action. But how do we get to action? The first thing we have to do is shine the light on what actually we're having a problem with. What happens to me is if something comes up, like I need to follow up on past-due invoices and I write it down in my calendar. A week later, I still haven't done it but I have a lot of good reasons. I have a lot of reasons why I didn't do it so then the next week when I don't do it and the next week, and then eight weeks later I still haven't done it, I know I'm having a problem with avoidance here. It's time to take a look. What is it that I'm doing? I'm avoiding sending my invoices. And when we shine the light on it and acknowlege it to ourself, it's like the monster in the closet. What happens when you open the door and turn the light on? All the sudden, it isn't as big of a deal. We know this anyway, because when we avoid sending an email and we wait all week and it's giving anxiety to us all week and finally, Friday at 6:00, we send it. What do you feel? "I should've just sent it earlier it wasn't really that big of a deal, right?" So we have to pay attention to what it is. And then the next step, and this, honestly this can change your life! I want you to practice this. It is the confession of your mouth. You have to say it out loud. Now, I don't want you to think this is hokey. You can do it in your shower. You can do it when you're driving, but it has to come out of your mouth. What's the problem? Shining a light on it. And then I have to bring it up and out of my body and out of swirling in my head and say it out loud. I don't care if out loud is a whisper or shouting it at the top of your lungs, but you have to say it out loud! Because right now, it's swirling. It's going round and around in your head and that is causing you to not want to look at it. But if we can take the step of saying it out loud, we bring it up and out of our bodies. Also, when it comes out of our mouth, it comes back to our brain through a different input. Because now we're hearing it verbally and as soon as we hear it verbally, all of the sudden, we kinda hear it differently. Right, when our girlfriend says, "My thighs are fat." And you're like, "What?" In her mind, it's this big deal. I'm obsessive about these pants and the way they look. And it's like a big deal. But when she says it out loud, it all the sudden is like ... Okay, well that's kinda silly. So when it comes out of your mouth, you can hear it through a different input. So how do I do this? I do it a lot of times in the shower. And I say, "I have anxiety about sending these invoices because ... I'm afraid people are going to give me a sob story about not having enough money and not want to pay me." I have anxiety about sending these invoices because I'm afraid or I feel like people are gonna say that my photos weren't actually worth that. I have anxiety because I feel like people are gonna come back to me and say, "You're not worth that." But here's the catch, you have to say at least 10. Because the first few usually don't count. The first few are usually what you wish it was. So just last week we were driving and my husband, in the car, is saying something that he's feeling anxious about because this is what we do. We kind of tell each other, "Okay, I see this isn't being done. No judgment. I have anxiety, too. Absolutely no judgment. Is there anxiety here?" So, let's talk about it. He says, "I feel anxiety because this and this." He gets to three and he says, "I don't know any more. That's it." I said, "Okay" When you get to the bottom of it and you don't know any more, then you can say, "What do you think it could be?" If you had to pretend, if you had to guess, what do you think it could be? Then he starts saying, "I have anxiety about this because.." And he says a few more and about around ten, the truth comes out. When it comes out of our mouth, the first thing you're gonna do is, "I didn't know I thought that." Because it's stuck. It's stuck in the swirl. Remember the avoidance loop. Round and round and round it goes. And when we think about it, we don't actually really think about it. We think about sending the invoices, but we don't think about what's actually causing the anxiety. And the confession of your mouth, it will save you. Because it will release you. It will let you hear it. And once you can hear it, then you can take action. The only fix for avoidance is taking action. At the end of the day, it doesn't matter if you say a hundred things. If you're not taking action, you're not gonna get yourself out of the avoidance. But doing these other two things first, those things will help you get to the place where you have the weight lifted off your shoulders so that now, I can at least begin to take the first step. I'm aware of it 'cause I had the light shone on it. I've said what it is. I now understand that I feel like they're going to reject me. And now, I can take the step. And as soon as you take the first step, just like sending the email, the anxiety starts to go away. But when we avoid, it is actually the avoidance of the pain that hurts us more than the pain itself. Because the avoidance of the pain is the thing we're carrying with us and causing us anxiety and it just hurts so much. When you just do it, it doesn't hurt as bad. It's like if you know you're gonna get your arm cut, it's like, "It's gonna hurt so bad!" Versus when it just happens, it hurts and you deal with it. Same thing with avoidance. What's in the workbook? What are you avoiding because you don't want to know the truth? Are you avoiding looking at your bank account? Are you avoiding looking at the cumulative amount of your credit card debt? Where with your money, debt, taxes, student loans, where are you avoiding looking at it? And then what is the feeling that you're avoiding by saying it out loud? Take the monster out of the closet. What is the feeling you're avoiding? And then, what's the first thing you can do? Because the only way to get out of avoidance, is to take action.