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Lesson Info

The Wheel of Misfortune: No Boundaries

No boundaries, so we just talked about over-giving is to get a feeling. No boundaries is to avoid a feeling. I cannot say no, because if I say no, you're going to react poorly. You're gonna be upset, you're gonna be sad, you're gonna be angry, and I don't wanna feel that. So oftentimes, if we have a problem with no boundaries, we have a high level of empathy. Because I don't wanna say no because I literally will feel your reaction. Now, here's the thing about boundaries. Boundaries is like, you have this yard around you, and around that yard is a fence. And in that fence there is a gate. And when we have a problem with boundaries, we leave that gate open all the time. Come into my yard, pick my flowers, dig up my vegetables, eat my fruit, come in, do whatever you want. I'm gonna leave the gate open for you. Now, what we wish would happen, is we wish that because we left the gate open, the person will come into our gate and be like, "Wow, what beautiful flowers you have. What amazing fr...

uit you have. You actually, I just remembered, are so important to me, and I respect you so much that I'm actually gonna go out and shut the gate for you." That's what we hope will happen. I'm hoping that the other person will prove to me that I'm worthy of them going out and shutting the gate. I'm hoping that they will respect me enough to shut the gate for me. But that doesn't happen, what happens, is they come marching through our gate, and they think, "I'll just pick these flowers here, and just get a little bit closer and I'll eat these vegetables, and I'll just dig up your dirt here a little bit." And then they think, "Okay, well, that's good enough, so I'm gonna set the boundary now right here." To which we're like, (gasp) "What? You were supposed to shut it back there. I cannot believe you took advantage of me leaving my gate open. You were supposed to shut it, 'cause I couldn't shut it. I couldn't bear to tell you no, so I was hoping that you would shut it. And then you came in, and you did something that got me frustrated, because you came way closer than you were supposed to, because I was very generous in leaving my gate open." Now, the thing about leaving the gate open, is frustration with someone is the sign that you didn't set the boundary soon enough. So I have a two-year-old, and she does things that two-year-olds do. So when I leave the gate open, and she comes toddling through, and she starts to pick my flowers, and I'm like, "Oh honey, don't do that." Which is not a boundary, it's a hope. I'm hoping that you won't do that. I'm hoping that you will respect me enough as your mother to just stop. But she's two, so she doesn't. (crowd laughing) And she comes over, and starts messing in my dirt. "Okay, okay, that's enough." Not a boundary, a hope. And then she gets a little bit closer, and gets dirt on my leg, and I'm like, "What are you doing? I'm frustrated with you now. You should have respected me back there. You should have shut the gate for me. Because if I would have shut the gate and told you no, you would have broken down into tears and I can't handle that. I don't wanna feel your reaction, so I can't shut the gate." Now, this trips us up with our money. Because we cannot say no to people when it comes to money. So you work at a job, and people come to your desk, and they want more money for another fundraiser for their fifth kid. And you can't say no because you don't wanna feel guilty, and they're gonna judge you for being stingy, so you give them more money. Your roommate comes to you and says, "I'm short on rent again this month. Can you spot me money?" I can't say no, because they're in a bind, and they're gonna feel bad, and I don't wanna feel that reaction, so I give you money. An adult child comes to us and says, "I just need a little bit more money this month." I cannot let my child feel upset, so I give them money. I want to avoid the feeling, and so I can't say no. The ways we do this, the answer's always yes, even when you want so bad to say no, you say yes. You don't wanna feel like you're letting people down, and so you pretend that your yard doesn't matter. People take me for granted. People take advantage of the fact that I left my gate open. People are taking me, people are taking advantage of me, but I left the gate open. I didn't say no, I'm frustrated with you because you keep doing this to me, but I didn't say no.


Running your own business is an incredibly demanding undertaking. You pour thousands of hours of effort into creating a service, pricing a product, and building a brand, all just to get paid. It is natural to feel like you’re behind, and struggle to sustain regular income. It’s easy to be overwhelmed by the minutiae or get stuck on the fear of failure. Learn what is holding you back from knowing your inherent worth and valuing yourself, so you can start realizing your vision and making more money.

Join Tiffany Angeles and Sue Bryce for this deep dive into rewriting the story of your business and speaking your value in business and in life. In this class, you’ll discover:

  • How to price yourself, how to bring in better clients, and promote your brand.
  • How to turn your personal hurdles into an advantage, and rewrite the negative story you’ve been telling yourself.
  • How to identify unconscious ways you’ve been driving money away, and unlock secrets that will help you realize key goals and dreams.
Learn from two dynamic educators who have surmounted what seemed like crippling hurdles in their own businesses. Take the time to identify what personal and financial blocks you face, and embrace the paradigm shift that awaits your business!

 
 
 
 

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  • OMG!!! You two are amazing!!! I am so grateful for all of your insight, and preparation that you have shared with us, wow!!! Lucky me, to have come across such an informative talk. You brought a human element to what it's like to be an artist. Sharing your ups and downs but always forging forward to be the best that you can be, because that's what your heart longs for, and what you were put on this plant to accomplish and share with the world. I've been a professional photographer for 30 years, and feel so fortunate for the life I've been given. No matter how long you've been doing photography, or been successful, these two wonderful women help to analyze the big picture, which is so insightful. Through their observations, hard work, determination and belief they have forged forward and are sharing their knowledge with us. I'm a spender and this came at the perfect time, as I'm taking time to observe my patterns. Thank you so much for this stellar talk!
  • This course came at exactly the time that I needed it! : ) I have been learning from a finance coach at my church that money isn't bad--it's the LOVE of money that's bad and the root of all evil. I've been learning over the last few months that money is a tool and can be used for good and this course just re-confirmed all of that. It's made me feel more confident and comfortable about the steps I've been recently taking to increase my pricing and makes me feel more comfortable with earning money, period. It is great for breaking down the false misconceptions you might have about money and is recommended for anyone struggling to price themselves, who doubt their worth or who just need (like I did) that extra step of confirmation that you're moving in the right direction. I loved this course so much I purchased it. Best $59 ever spent! (Seriously?! $59? I feel like I'm stealing at that price! I felt like, "How can I NOT purchase this investment towards my financial future?") Money well spent. The workbook is an added bonus too! :)
  • Sue Bryce was her usual wonderful informative and inspiring self. I'd never had a class with Tiffany Angeles before, but now I want more. They were not kidding when they said we would confront ourselves and may not be comfortable with what we saw. Its funny in one way, but when it cuts into our livelihood and now we're aware, its harder to avoid. (I'm and avoider and a resenter that participates in over spending with no boundaries) Yay me! I'll own it now so I can take care of it. When the student is ready, the teachers appear. I've taken other courses dealing with money issues, however, these two wonderful women bring it home in a one day course. Buy the workshop, get the workbook, work the book. It will change your life, just hearing what I did today has already shifted my paradigm in a way that no other money guru or spiritual teacher ever has, and I've even read Ernest Holmes tomb. The only person who wouldn't gain something from this is someone living far from civilization who trades in rocks for what they want... come to think of it, they would benefit, because its probably the same energy and if they remove their blocks, they'll have A LOT more rocks to trade even if it is a heavier load to carry.