Resentment. So, like we've talked about, resentment is really just this negative energy. Right? We're putting all this emphasis on what we don't want. But the antidote is to take responsibility. Now, it seems like when we're resentful, that we are saying, "You know what? "It's what they did to me. "It's actually all their fault, "because they took my money. "They created this situation, so now I have no money." And we put all this energy towards them, when in reality what we're really angry about is that they caused us to feel disempowered, which is really that we allowed ourselves to feel disempowered. And that disempowerment comes with a lot of heavy feelings. We're angry, we're sad. It comes with a lot. You feel disempowered, you feel all this emotion, and we don't want to feel that, so then we blame the other person. If I could just put all of my energy over there and not have to look at that, then all of the sudden I feel more powerful. Because there's two ways to get your power b...
ack. When you're resentful, I can blame them, and the more that I blame them and put them down the better I feel. The more power I get back. Or, we can do the hard thing and look at why we allowed ourselves to feel disempowered in the first place, and the emotions around that, but that's hard. It's hard but it's healthy. This is easy, but it's unhealthy. And so what happens is we all the sudden start saying why we're resentful towards this person. To anybody who will listen, "Can you believe what they did to me? "Can you believe they acted like that? "Can you believe they took that much money from me? "Can you believe that they want a discount? "Can you believe I gave them all that "and they still thought it wasn't good enough?" All of that energy that we're saying, because resentment always comes out of your mouth. It always comes out of your mouth. It has to, because that's the way you get your power back. The more that I can blame them and the more than I can talk about it and the more people that will listen to me, the more powerful I feel. And, of course, then what happens? We keep talking about it and talking about it, and it gets so big, I can't possibly let it go because it holds so much power for me. I can't let that resentment go because in effect it's actually now given me power, because I have told all of my girlfriends, I've told anyone that would listen. I've gotten my power back, but I just did it in an unhealthy way instead of addressing the fact that I allowed myself to feel disempowered by what they did. But we create this negative energy by what we say. You know, a caterpillar spins its cocoon out of its own mouth. You're creating that world by what you say. Out of your own mouth you are spinning your own cocoon. And you're letting it give you so much power that you're unable to go back and look at, where is my responsibility? Why did I allow myself to feel disempowered? Where did I not set the boundary? Where was the one that I was over-giving to get something? Looking at this and taking responsibility for this is the way you get through resentment. Because when we're blaming them, like the saying goes, resentment is like taking poison and expecting the other person to get sick. But they have no problem. They go on their merry way. They don't think twice about it, but we are stuck. We are talking about it with anybody who will listen. And we're taking the poison thinking that somehow it's gonna fix that situation. The truth is there is no way to get over resentment without going through forgiveness. There is no way to get over resentment without going through forgiveness. So, how do we do it? First, we take responsibility. Why did we allow ourselves to feel disempowered? And what was the things? How did we create it? How did we reenergize it, by talking about it? And then we forgive ourselves. We forgive ourselves for not setting the boundary, for not doing the thing that needed to be done. For our part in the situation. For our part in allowing someone else to take our power, because no one else can take your power unless you allow it. You let it go, and we can forgive ourselves for that. And once we can forgive ourselves, then we can have compassion because they were acting out of their own disempowerment. And once we can get to a place of compassion, then we can forgive them. But ultimately, there is no way to get over resentment without going through forgiveness. In your workbook, who do you complain about? That'll tell ya where the resentment's at. What money troubles do you blame on somebody else? It's not my fault the stock market crashed and took my money! It's not my fault, the housing market, it shouldn't have done that! I didn't look at my loan. I didn't read the fine print. I didn't do the work to study those investments. I put my money on there and looked away and just hoped that it was gonna go up. What money troubles do you blame on somebody else? And what can you do to take responsibility?