Understand the Pain Path
I call this daily practice, and daily practice to me is something I do every single day. People often ask me why are you so driven? And I honestly don't really know that there's a choice to be less driven. I am self-employed and my studio's currently in my home. So if do not get up, make myself get up and focus on what I have to do, then I would stay in my pajamas. I don't wear pajamas, but you know what I mean, all day! (laughter) And I would never get anything done. I'm driven by paying the rent, and I'm driven by being bigger better every single day. I'm driven my making money. I'm driven by building my business. I'm driven my reconnecting and I didn't think there was actually a choice when you're self-employed. I'm not rich wife, yet. (laughter) And I figured that I had to really go and do it for myself. Now remember, I'll take you back to an earlier segment when I said avoidance was my biggest problem. Who did I actually think was gonna take away this pain for me, and who did I ac...
tually think was gonna take responsibility for me? We lean on people 'cause we expect that somebody else is actually gonna take responsibility for us, and today, I'm giving you all your responsibility back to start making it for yourself. What we didn't address all day was it's going to freak you out, how quickly it's gonna turn once you start bringing the awareness into your everyday thoughts and feelings. In fact, it's kind of like somebody turns on a magic tap of money, and you're gonna get a big dusting of it very quickly. Because here's the weird thing. You're so focused on pushing it away from you, that the second that you start bringing your awareness into all the ways you're stopping it, it's kind of weird how it's gonna appear. And this where it gets into that magical place where people are like, ugh, but the so freaky thing is, is that it just shows up. I doesn't mean you're going to be ready for it. So Tiffany said in the last segment we're going to make you the person who is ready to manage this money. Okay imagine right now, that you have a million dollars under your seat. Everybody's going home with a million dollars. (laughter) Everybody gets a million dollars! (laughter) But here's the thing about the million dollars. You can only use it for your business. What we would you do tomorrow that you're not doing right now? How different would your business plan be, if you were taking that money home right now? Now, I ask a lot of people walking their path, I give them the million dollar dream. I've said it in all of my business creative lives, what would you do with a million dollars? And you're not allowed to go and have a holiday in Honolulu. I asked you what would you do to refocus your business with this million dollars? So, when I was first starting out in business, I could not price myself. I could not receive money. I could not speak my pricing. I could not speak my value. So clearly I am pushing money away on every level, when I'm trying to market and sell myself. And I remember thinking to myself if somebody just gave me $30,000, 30, I don't know why I put a number on it, because I added up all the things I needed to buy to be successful. If somebody gives me $30,000, I will be able to make it in this business. But here's the crazy thing, $30,000 in my bank would have got me a newer camera, maybe a better premises, maybe a better look, maybe even a nicer car, but it would not have changed the fact that I could not value myself. I could not set my pricing. I could not speak my pricing. Now when I started to teach business people how to create creative business and get paid, and I had learned to get paid, I realized the problem was not anything you we're doing, it's a problem you were being, meaning most of you here, can't even set your price list. You cannot put a number on your value. Now that tells me you do not value yourself, your service or your business, period. So to the person who wrote when is she gonna tell us how to make more money? Dude, put a price on your service, and start selling it, and then tell me what comes up for you. Because it's going to be one of those things there that you are doing to stop it from coming at you. There should not be a person in this room or watching at home that is not gonna finish the day today, and say, I have made a decision on the pay rate that I am worth. I have made a decision and now I have work towards setting it in stone. You cannot sell it until you tell me what you offer and how much. So whenever people tell me I need a marketing plan, I say, "Okay, cool, what are you selling?" "Well I'm a this.", or, "I sell this service." Okay, how much is it? "Well, dah dah dah dah dah." Again, you're not telling me what you do. You're not telling me how you do it. You're not telling me how much you cost. You're not telling me what I'm getting and I'm the one paying. So until you make this decision today, I can't get you to sell a damn thing. It's like I said. You're not even in the race. Okay, so setting a goal for my day rate, okay, change how am I going to get paid this week. I need three clients this week. Remember, you're gonna set a goal, for work, not clients, but until you tell me what that average sale is, until you tell me what that goal is that you're going after, that average sale that you're going after, you cannot tell me how many people you want to come into your studio. You cannot sell anything. In fact, like I said, you're so far entrenched in the orange, in the guilt and shame and the not receiving, you're not even starting out. You're not even stepping up in business. So, let's look at this. If you under value yourself, if can't even price yourself, you are undervaluing yourself so much, what you're saying is, I am not important, and I have nothing to give, and you are not offering service over getting paid. You are just trying to get paid for nothing. So a friend of ours recently was listening to a video of themselves teaching, and they were editing the video, and they were telling Tiffany and I this story, and they were saying out loud, "I hate my voice. "I hate my voice. "I hate my voice." Now as they are editing an education video to sell, they're saying, "I hate my voice. "I hate my voice. "Nobody's going to wanna listen to me. "This is not valuable. "I hate my voice. "My voice is unimportant." The next morning, he wakes up with no voice. Laryngitis.
So we sit down and we talk about it, and it was like, you know, I think I might of manifested this. I think metaphysically, I was saying this in my head, as I was watching, as I was editing this video. So as we broke it down and we got down to some coffee, Langst tell me where does that come from? Who told you your voice wasn't important? Who told you, you had nothing to share? Who made you feel you weren't valuable? It came down to this. Nothing I say is important. And nothing I say is good enough, and nobody will want to pay for it or hear it. So, can you imagine, if you're not pricing yourself, what you're saying is I have no value to give? I have no service to give. I can't even put a price on it. And that's even below somebody telling you that the price you do put on it is too high. You think so little of yourself, that you cannot even put a price on the service you offer. So, what your telling me, and everybody else in the world, is I am nothing. I am nobody. Okay, so what I have to change, what I have to change in you, is what you believe you're giving and the value of what you believe you're giving. Okay, I take photographs of people, portraits, and I sell them back to people. Okay, so you come Anna, I take a photograph of you, and then you come back into my studio, and you buy it. You buy your image from my camera. And when I first started out, I was an employee, so I never had to sell my own work. I could take the work. Sure, I could take beautiful work, and my boss would sell it. And he would make literally thousands of dollars from my work. In my 20s, I was an employed photographer. In my 30s, I lived with a great folio of work. I was like, how can this be? I'm gonna go out and sell my own work. I could not. I had no value. Zero. I did not believe that was I was creating had any value to me or the world. I did not believe what I was doing had any value, and I couldn't put a price on it, and I couldn't say how much I was, and I couldn't sell myself. So there I am, not even coming out of the gate, trying to run in a race, a business race, where I'm not even starting. I'm not even starting, 'cause until you give me a price, a number, it's not gonna work. Now some of you have put a price on it, but it's so low and so pathetic, you're just attracting the constant mirror of it's not good enough, you're not good enough, nobody's ever gonna pay me for this, and you can't put your price up, 'cause if somebody won't buy it for cheap, why the hell would they buy it for expensive? Okay, and all of your energy is focused on what you don't have, which is exactly what Tiff said in the last segment, and all of your energy is focused on what you do not have. And never at anytime have you sat down and thought about, what you're giving. Now Tiffany said write a list. I did too. And so what I want you to do tonight, is I want you to write a list on what you are giving. So when I told you to write a list about the last 10 things, that a client rejected in you, the last 10 things a client said to you, to make you feel bad, or a family member, or a spouse said to you, to make you feel worthless, those are the 10 things you need to sit and look at, because those 10 things are what you truly believe in the reflection of you. Now the hardest thing is writing the 10 things you think you're giving in the service. Now if you make beanies, you can write anything from people will love the texture. People will love to be warm. People love fashion. People love buying a treat. People will love buying my beanies as gifts. People will love them because they're so pretty. People will like them because it will be great for their hair. I could give them to cancer patients in the winter so they have these beautiful beanies to look gorgeous when they loose their hair. Find me 10, 20, 30 reasons that what you're doing has a value, because you know what? When people spend time with me, personal one-on-one time, whether I'm shooting in the studio, or whatever I'm doing, whether I'm mentoring, whether I'm working, if people get one-on-one time with me, they really greatly appreciate how much I can shift them in conversation. I did not value that in myself. I just figured it was, some people like to hangout with me. I never realized that the attention that I give somebody could significantly change somebody's life. Then all of sudden, as I started to value myself and change and price myself, and value myself and change and price myself, and value myself, I realized that what I was seeing back to me, were people were valuing me and honoring me on every level. And I was the one that was not doing that. I was the one saying, I don't have anything to give you. Now, as a client, your sole purpose in marketing is that everybody that you're marketing to hears and understands what it is that you're giving. They're going to be very energetically attracted to you to spend money with you on your brand, because your product and service is gonna be in alignment with your purpose and what you're giving. And that is absolutely crazy to me, but it's a true fact. As people are starting to attract to you, you're going to start seeing what it is that you gave people. Now if every human being wants to be seen, wants to be acknowledged, wants to be heard, wants to be understood, wants to be loved, then it stands to reason that when you are serving somebody, when you're servicing them, that if you see them, give them time, give them your energy, give them your love and your utmost attention and service that they're going to feel valued and loved by you giving them that time. That's what people pay for. When you go to a beautiful restaurant, you spend $400 for a few of you to eat, and you get incredible service. You get silver service, you love it. You know they're ninja waiters. Like you don't even see them, and your wine's full again. Like one minute there's no food there, and then it's all there. The waiter knows everything. He's fast, he doesn't interrupt. You know, it's just absolutely perfect service. The service you get is paramount to the experience that you have. And the way that you're seen and heard and loved. Now, nobody knows that more than me, 'cause I've been in business now, for 13 years, on my own, and every time I've dropped the ball, in terms of connection and service, it has instantly shown up in my income. Instantly showed up in my income. So even when you unblock the money coming towards you, the second you screw it up or drop the ball, or stop giving the love and attention that you know is gonna get you paid, it instantly comes out, of the income that's coming in to you, and you see it straightaway. And you have to reset yourself quick, smart. Otherwise, you'll just fall straight back into a pattern of not giving that love and attention.