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Don't Get Pushed Around: An Introvert's Guide to Getting What You Need at Work

Lesson 12 of 26

Are You Listening


Don't Get Pushed Around: An Introvert's Guide to Getting What You Need at Work

Lesson 12 of 26

Are You Listening


Lesson Info

Are You Listening

And now just a little bit about listening. And my questions really is are you listening? And what are you listening to? Because as I've said, if you're quiet, you may be busy listening to stuff in your head, and that's not gonna help you very much. So, you could be listening to what's happening out in the world, what's happening in the people that you're talking to, and then, can you distinguish between what you imagine is happening, which is based on what's in your head, or what's actually happening in the world. And that's something, I think, that takes getting used to because it's all in your head, but did I imagine it? Or is it actually happening? And that's, again, when a question can come in handy when you interact with a person and say, I keep thinking this, is this what's really happening? And they can say, oh no, are you kidding? That has nothing to do with you, or no. They can dismiss it or they can say yes, as a matter of fact, this is something we should talk about. So agai...

n, kind of don't give in to the laziness of, oh, I think I know what's going on, when it's especially something that you're imagining. So a few listening strategies that I want to share. And these are kind of obvious, but really hard to do. And I'm not talking here about gestures of listening that make it seem like you're listening, like looking someone in the eye because I could be very easily looking you in the eye and totally not listening to you, right? Or nodding my head and not listening. So do those things if they're genuine, if they're real, but really what you have to do is be open, which is easier said than done, and you have to be focused, right, so don't allow yourself to be distracted by things that are happening or, again, things in your head. You have to be active and listen to every single word that someone says. Don't rush to get the understanding and don't rehearse what you think you're gonna say next. Don't interrupt. This is actually not easy at all because we have things that come up and we want to say them, but you have to wait until the other person is finished. Don't talk to yourself and rehearse your response. And what you can do in your listening is listen for the questions you can ask. Alright, so be listening for things you don't understand and then ask questions accordingly.

Class Description

When it comes to getting ahead in the world of work, it seems that those who are bold, confident and willing to speak their minds are the ones who get the choicest projects and the loftiest promotions.

But what if you’re an introvert? What if you hate being the center of attention, get nervous before presentations, and avoid contact with your colleagues and superiors? Are you destined to remain on the lowest rungs of the corporate ladder?

According to Ilise Benun, an author and teacher known as the Marketing Mentor, the answer is an emphatic “No!” Ilise has created a treasure trove of tools and techniques to help the shyest and quietest among us succeed in the workplace. She’ll show you how to embrace your introversion while also learning the skills you need to advance your career and become a leader at work.

In this class, you’ll learn how to:

  • Conquer your shyness and present yourself confidently.
  • Assert yourself when you need to, speak up at meetings and get recognized.
  • Take the credit you deserve for your accomplishments.
  • Communicate your strengths and what you’re capable of to the right people.
  • Identify when you’re feeling shy or fearful and how to handle it.
  • Observe other personality types and adjust your behavior accordingly.
  • Develop your confidence with concrete exercises.
  • Find your personal networking style so you can get what you want.
  • Improve your communication, presentation and meeting skills.



It was interesting to learn from your program what experiences other people have in certain situations and how similar or different they are to mine. And that’s it’s ok to “own” your inner introvert, and to work with it instead of against it. The good thing is, the more self-aware we become, the more aware and sensitive we can be towards others, thanks to shared knowledge and programs like yours. So thank you Ilise, for an enlightening program. I look forward to going back over it sometime.

Laurie Hagedorn

Ilise Benun is so easy to listen to! The information and messages she shares with us are valuable, up to date, and easily understood! I can't wait to hear more from her and will refer her to others who will benefit from her lessons!

Tiffany Butler

Perspective is everything. I left feeling more comfortable with the idea that life, as Ilise puts it, "is an experiment," and I don't have to know everything in order to be good at what I do. I can learn, adapt and modify as I go. The fear of being "found out" is what keeps plenty of us needlessly hiding behind the mask of introversion. Another big takeaway—don't assume you know what others are thinking/doing. I break this rule routinely and assume the worst, which is almost never the reality of the situation. I made it my NY resolution to stop doing that! Thanks, Ilise.