Confidence and Ownership
And what came in, was how do I tell people to find the confidence selling themselves? Now, a lot of people have only just found me for the first time today, other people found me last week. I have people following me on Facebook every day that says, I just found her on YouTube. I feel like I've done so much stuff that you'd have to live under a rock to not know who I am, but there's a big world out there of people, and you need to know this. With business, you're only touching a very small percentage of people around you. And you need to understand that every day people are finding out about you, learning about you, discovering you. And every day, you're also evolving and getting better and getting more confidence and your work's getting better and you're dialing in your systems. So every day you've got something new to share as a business owner, as a photographer. Your evolution in pricing, your evolution in value, your evolution in photography, it is all moving. And it's really neat ...
to find people that don't know who you are. And people were writing, who is this woman? Who is this woman, and wow, what a great presentation, and wow, I'm watching her videos now, and wow, I just bought 28 Days. And I was like, wow, that's crazy, this workshop's been out there for two years. But it occurred to me that if you have been following me for the last three years on CreativeLive, then you would've also seen a really big evolution in my personal confidence. Now, if I fast forward, if I rewind, sorry, rewind three years to my very first CreativeLive, I was so plagued by insecurities before I went on my first workshop. I'm too old, I'm too fat, I'm too unattractive, I don't have nice clothes. Oh my gosh, no, why would these people listen to me? And I had to check my ego and say, you know what, I'm not here to be liked or have you judge me, I'm here to teach you why I love taking beautiful photographs and selling them. And I got over myself, and then I developed through that. But I think back to 10 years ago when I could not even speak to people about what I did. And I really want to work more on confidence and ownership. Like, for me, you can go, I will teach you how I'm shooting strobes, I will teach you how I'm shooting with constant light, I'll teach you how I've mastered natural light, I will teach you a thousand poses. It's my jam, posing is my secret super power. It's my love, that is what it is. But this here. This here, I could teach every day, I'm gonna write more and more and more and more. And I'm telling you right now, I can give you at least some steps towards confidence, but the first thing you have to do is take ownership of who you are. Now, no more sort of asking people to validate you. I'm a photographer. You need to shift your voice. You need to shift the way you're speaking to your friends and family first. Your friends and family are the first one that are gonna naysay you. Because you're asking them for permission, and then they are giving you back their own limits. You are asking people for permission, and they are reflecting back their limits on you, and then you're pushing back on their limits. This is the problem, because we need support, we need contrast, we need comparison in order to know ourselves, in order to know where we're at, in order to judge ourselves, in order to feel comfortable. What am I meant to be doing? How am I meant to be doing this? Am I good enough? Am I pretty enough? Am I young enough? And I've heard it all. I'm old, I'm fat, I'm ugly, I don't look like you. How could I, I would never be able to afford my own products. I mean, there's a million ways people get in their own way and all of that is personal. Okay, it's the first thing you do is shift the voice inside you, say, how about trying this? Next time somebody says, what are you doing? You say, well, I'm still working part-time here, and I'm shooting portraits. And when people say, oh, how's that working out for you? Saying I've never felt more passionately about this in my life. You don't have to say, I'm getting really good. You don't have to say, I'm now charging money. Just tell people why you love it. Because enthusiasm trumps any fear or validation or permission. Enthusiasm is that thing that makes people look at you and go, really, you're working a full-time job and you're shooting weddings part-time? Yeah, why? I'm in love with it, I can't stop doing it. I want to keep doing it until it takes over and I don't go to my day job anymore. Notice there's no asking for permission in there. You know, why don't you come and let me photograph you? I'd love to photograph you and your family. Why don't you come and do a glamor shoot with me? Oh no, no, that's not my thing. Yes it is, wait 'til you see what we've been doing. Wait 'til you see what I've been learning. Wait 'til you see what I'm creating. Talk to people about what you love, not what you're afraid of. And I feel like the ownership is something I'm gonna talk about when we come back. Ownership is when you set that in concrete in yourself. It's when you make a decision, from now on, it's gonna be this way, I own this. I'm a photographer, my evolution is going great, I'm gonna make this work, and I'm going to stand confidently in my own energy and power, and I'm going to tell people what I do, why I do it, and why I love it. That is the only confidence you need to find. That is not about looking different, that is not about having nicer clothes. I could sell a $3,000 photo shoot in bad lighting with no makeup on and yoga pants. And I wouldn't think twice about it, because I own that. I own it. And if I could teach you something right now, it would be to write on a bit of paper, what am I gonna own? And I want you to look at that all week until you're ready to write the answer. And if you own it, you should be able to say it at full confidence. Because you're not owning it. You're skirting it, you're hiding from it, you're saying you own it, but you're not. You're certainly not owning it priceless, you're certainly not owning who you are, and there must be a belief in you, somehow, that you're not worth that, you don't deserve that. That, oh, sorry, when I come back, I'm gonna hit you with that, people will think I'm a snob. People will think I'm hoity-toity. People will think I think too much of myself. Well I want you to imagine one thing. Imagine that the people looking at you are your children. And you teach them how to own your path. 'Cause it's not what you tell your children. It's what you show them. And that one day, that child will grow up, and say my mom was in business, my dad was in business, they built a life they dreamed of, and I can, too. Okay? Own it.