Money Management for Couples

Lesson 23 of 33

Designing Your Future

 

Money Management for Couples

Lesson 23 of 33

Designing Your Future

 

Lesson Info

Designing Your Future

00:00:02.58 --> 00:00:06. In the first session I really focused on you and your 00:00:06.2 --> 00:00:10. money the whole concept was this triangle of the money 00:00:10.23 --> 00:00:14. menage a twat you're in a relationship with your money 00:00:14.72 --> 00:00:19. and your honey it's a triangle and as erica so wonderfully 00:00:19.72 --> 00:00:23. pointed out that was huge just that concept was huge 00:00:23.58 --> 00:00:28. for her teo to recognize that she's the way she treats 00:00:28.84 --> 00:00:32. her money is like treating a person and to use that 00:00:32.93 --> 00:00:36. analogy completely shifted her beliefs I treat people 00:00:36.52 --> 00:00:40. well how is it that I'm so inconsistent that I don't 00:00:40.38 --> 00:00:41. treat my money well 00:00:42.88 --> 00:00:48. so you learned the money a b c's awareness plus action 00:00:48.32 --> 00:00:52. equals abundance wow what have you been doing throughout 00:00:52.66 --> 00:00:56. these sessions you're becoming you've bee...

n big you 00:00:56.04 --> 00:00:57. become aware 00:00:59.18 --> 00:01:00. have you taken some action 00:01:01.74 --> 00:01:06. you better say yes if you haven't do it now fill out 00:01:06.07 --> 00:01:08. the manual there's all these exercises for you to 00:01:08.37 --> 00:01:11. just one by one fill it out so that you can have the 00:01:11.54 --> 00:01:12. abundance 00:01:13.43 --> 00:01:17. the bees beliefs plus behaviors equals your bank account 00:01:17.58 --> 00:01:20. remember that crazy eight if you shift any one of 00:01:20.44 --> 00:01:22. those things if you shift your beliefs is going to 00:01:22.86 --> 00:01:24. shift your behaviours which is going to shift your 00:01:24.59 --> 00:01:27. bank account if you shift your behaviors of ships 00:01:27.04 --> 00:01:29. or believes which ships your bank account if you checked 00:01:29.99 --> 00:01:34. your bank account you get the picture right isn't 00:01:34.17 --> 00:01:37. that amazing it's just wow it don't make sense and 00:01:37.64 --> 00:01:43. it's so simple! The seas conditioning, recondition 00:01:43.45 --> 00:01:48. a new pattern a new habit a new ritual 00:01:49.74 --> 00:01:53. then you got to do it consistent consistently over 00:01:53.32 --> 00:01:57. and over and over again until it sticks so that you 00:01:57.8 --> 00:01:59. can have change 00:02:00.31 --> 00:02:02. out of the money a b c's that's about you and your 00:02:02.89 --> 00:02:07. money overcoming your own issues don't try to fix 00:02:07.74 --> 00:02:12. your partner right how to overcome your money issues 00:02:12.5 --> 00:02:13. tohave a richer relationship 00:02:15.86 --> 00:02:21. all about you in session too the focus was the four 00:02:21.17 --> 00:02:25. keys to a richer relationship so if you have your 00:02:25.62 --> 00:02:28. manual you'll see this lovely diagram 00:02:29.72 --> 00:02:32. which I may not be able to find the manual is you 00:02:32.43 --> 00:02:34. know only one hundred fifty pages so give me about 00:02:34.47 --> 00:02:37. twenty minutes now it's four keys I'll just tell you 00:02:37.27 --> 00:02:40. what they are who knows number one is you can look 00:02:40.54 --> 00:02:41. in your notes 00:02:42.32 --> 00:02:46. you get you had the way had the barbie's right let 00:02:46.16 --> 00:02:47. me jog your memory here 00:02:49.22 --> 00:02:52. delusional dan will be here to jog your memory get 00:02:52.28 --> 00:02:55. clarity don't be afraid to shout it out over there 00:02:56.12 --> 00:02:59. get clarity of your money type and it doesn't mean 00:02:59.85 --> 00:03:03. this is who you are because as jean marie so elegantly 00:03:03.64 --> 00:03:07. said your combination of all of them so you're not 00:03:07.25 --> 00:03:10. put in the box you just get to recognize the patterns 00:03:10.5 --> 00:03:12. the patterns that you may be running that might not 00:03:12.59 --> 00:03:15. be serving you clarity of your money type and your 00:03:15.7 --> 00:03:19. money role are you a leader? Are you a supporter or 00:03:19.23 --> 00:03:23. you? A partner. Right then you got clarity. 00:03:25.82 --> 00:03:30. Of your money. They won't remember this. Kim jim money 00:03:30.15 --> 00:03:31. dates ring a bell. 00:03:34.12 --> 00:03:35. We've got to get clarity of your money that's the 00:03:35.89 --> 00:03:39. know it and grow it money system and I'm joking about 00:03:39.77 --> 00:03:42. these handcuffs because I said you might want to pair 00:03:42.85 --> 00:03:46. it with something fun I don't know what after you 00:03:46.54 --> 00:03:50. do your money day so it's so it is sexy or fun could 00:03:50.06 --> 00:03:53. be ice cream it could be anything just so that you 00:03:53.09 --> 00:03:55. know I'm not just looking at numbers uh this is this 00:03:55.91 --> 00:04:01. is awful instead it's fun you get to choose that then 00:04:01.54 --> 00:04:05. we're now today so we went so that's clarity and I'm 00:04:05.25 --> 00:04:09. sorry this the next key is what communication who 00:04:09.81 --> 00:04:13. do you need to focus on first what who are you communicating 00:04:13.05 --> 00:04:18. with your own mind your own mind that mine messes 00:04:18.73 --> 00:04:22. with you right always messing with you that mind first 00:04:22.52 --> 00:04:26. your community you gotto identify identify the language 00:04:26.78 --> 00:04:29. patterns those patterns that you're running they're 00:04:29.3 --> 00:04:32. just patterns and you get to choose what patterns 00:04:32.48 --> 00:04:35. you want so I went through a multi million herself 00:04:35.57 --> 00:04:38. talk the ladies came up there and they were like new 00:04:38.27 --> 00:04:43. women with all those confidence transformation because 00:04:43.28 --> 00:04:45. they started shift their their beliefs and shipped 00:04:45.73 --> 00:04:47. their behavior started looking at their money maybe 00:04:47.8 --> 00:04:49. for the first time 00:04:50.54 --> 00:04:53. wow and all of a sudden they have had these words 00:04:54.04 --> 00:04:56. these incantations to stay with their body and then 00:04:56.96 --> 00:05:01. they were singing happy m I I rich and happy we have 00:05:01.04 --> 00:05:03. it on tape I have proof 00:05:06.1 --> 00:05:07. wow. 00:05:08.44 --> 00:05:12. And then we went over communication with your partner. 00:05:14.1 --> 00:05:15. But wasn't it interesting? 00:05:17.84 --> 00:05:21. That, even though it was with your partner, it had 00:05:21.06 --> 00:05:23. everything to do with whom 00:05:24.64 --> 00:05:26. there's yourself. 00:05:27.94 --> 00:05:31. How so, if you start giving more love to your partner, 00:05:31.77 --> 00:05:37. if you change you, your relationship will grow. Your 00:05:37.2 --> 00:05:39. relationship is either growing or what 00:05:40.64 --> 00:05:41. dying. 00:05:42.44 --> 00:05:46. You choose let's, have it instead of dying, have it 00:05:46.24 --> 00:05:47. thriving, 00:05:49.04 --> 00:05:51. it's all been coming together with the map, right? 00:05:51.39 --> 00:05:53. You have the money, mastery, map and it's all been 00:05:53.57 --> 00:05:56. coming together. Session three you, your money and 00:05:56.58 --> 00:05:58. your honey once again, 00:06:00.15 --> 00:06:02. and we're going to go into the last two keys to richer relationship. So, let's, start with this. Designing your future. So what I'd like to do get these get these amazing participants moving in the morning here put everything down you don't need anything and come on up you get to be stars again come on stage and I'm going to use have a game now we're gonna play a game to demonstrate a point does that sound good that sound great okay you need to wake up your on camera here sounds great and one that's it that's it that's it nice ok in a second you're going to get a proper they get to use props as well isn't that awesome now first I want to tell you this is a game so typically when you play a game isn't it true that you either win or lose yeah yeah ok cool so the way you win this game you win this game by hitting the target and if you hit the target the reward the prize the ultimate gift that you get it's me is everything you want in your life pretty good gift right that's nice prize okay so listen very close it listen very closely what I want you do number one ready take your target this is a dark show everybody at home we got props yeah we get props okay and I want you to throw your dart at the target on three one two three throw or what? Why didn't that where's the target? Ok ok good point. Goodbye. Okay, so first there's. Okay, got it. So let me let me try this again. Okay, now. Now, imagine. Imagine the target in your mind, and on three, one, two, three, throw it at the target. Why? Why don't you throw it? Why did you there out, it's in my line, it's in your mind? Okay, let me try this again, huh? Oh, gosh, I guess I didn't have my coffee this morning. I don't actually drink coffee, so for those of you know, that it's really hilarious. Okay, number, number three, let's. See, okay, find a target in the room, but don't tell anyone about it, and I want you to throw it. One, two, three throw. Okay, kate, that lovely can't give her hand she's amazing, ladies and gentlemen, all right, good job now, did you make did you hit the target? Okay, you hit it. So did you win the game? You hit the target. Ok, interesting. Think about that for a sec. All right, now, number four, I'm going to pick a target. Now, on the count of three hit, one, two, three guilt. What happened? Way to go forgot to tell you at the target again. How can a second when I think about this, I know I'm gonna get it. I know I'm gonna get it, okay, um, can we bring out the target, okay, I think the get target's coming out that could make my own music here. All right, so bring out the target wanted, you know, put it out here. So one of you, uh, you all come over here. Okay, I'm gonna do one the time here, starting with reena here. I don't even know karina. Okay, ready? Uh, I want you to close your eyes here, skip back so I can see her. Close your eyes. Are they closed? I'm just going to trust you because I didn't bring blindfolds. Yeah, I can only carry so much in my bag, right? Yeah. Okay. So I'm gonna spinning around spinning around. And when I stop you, I want you to shoot the target and don't peek. Alright. Ready and shoot. Hit that target. Come on. Come on. Wow. Very tricky. Okay, great. Yeah. Get light light. Very good. Okay. Cool. Alright. So did she hit the target, though? What did she hit to be in the frame? So the answer is that she hit the target? No, sorry. Great. Close. Very close. Okay. Our next contestant ready? Close your eyes. Close your eyes. See, these people are very tricky. Okay, on the count of three on the count of three on the count of three, the target's one, two, three. Okay good okay did she hit the target arvid the new man brave this brave it can I touch you because we don't know each other that well like it at all okay all right so this brave man who doesn't know me at all he's going for it he's taking the plunge he's being spun around is closing his eyes and on the count of three you're going to shoot one two three shoot wow good shot give him a hand already participating he's been here for less than five minutes and lastly we have a little lovely rochelle closure or let's see maybe she'll get it maybe she'll get I know you're rooting for her at home everybody chat in who do you want to win who's gonna win this amazing game close your eyes around she goes around she goes I know she's gonna get it this time I know she's going it out and on the count of three one two three hit your target wow good shot but I'm sorry okay give them a hand one more chance all right last time now this is the target this is the target on the count of three I'm gonna do it one two three oh someone else come stand here for a bit one two three great for shell one two three great arena one two three she really wants to hit it I can feel it very alright good give him a hand gun and take a seat thank you so what what was that about tell me how it felt on what you learned if you see something you can achieve it if you see something you can achieve it beautiful what else well that was interesting just tio when you said choose a target and shoot at it I was able to do it and what is the exact target I hit the top of her thing okay cool which is what I know when you're able this is really good so you were able to choose the target and when you chose the target you hit it awesome but you didn't tell anyone else about now so let me ask you this that I didn't let you right right so you you got it so this is really interesting because we're talking about couples right yeah interesting so if you are here and let's say since we're role playing this simon we're doing the money master map erica has been your spouse you didn't tell eric about it did she hit the target no your target no okay interesting go on well and it is it is a perfect reflection of my own life well oh well oh well you mean this has something to do with your life and designing your future? What? Okay go on. Well yeah, it does when I it's funny because I was a different person when I had met my husband and so as I have transformed into someone who wants to make an impact in my own way. I've had a difficult time communicating that vision with my husband, and I see it very clearly in my mind, but I have very beauty had difficulty communicating your vision with your husband. Yeah, what else did you notice? No, that I've gotten to the point where I have just decided to just go for it work and, you know, give up on communicating with him about it. And how does that make you feel not serving me? Not serving us? Wow, awesome. So you had your different person, and then you basically decided that you're going to go for it with her without him. And then he moseyed on into this course, and now you're like, wait a second. Maybe perhaps we should aim for the same target. Yeah. Arbit, did you ask me now? I thought it was interesting that when you tell us what the target wass and then the oddest close our eyes and spend around that reminded me of how even though you have these goals and even though you know what your target is, all this stuff and life comes up and interrupt you on, put you off track. I have said it better so much wow, that's amazing. Isn't that interesting. Now, let me ask you this. When you did look at the target, now that I let you at the end, look at the target. Did you get closer? Then you did what he had. Your eyes closed, all that stuff like life, right? So every single one of them, no one hit the target. But don't worry, you can still have everything you want, because you're going to make your own targets today. Awesome, right? But even though you didn't hit it, you got close, right? So if I, for example, some of you saw this yesterday, it's, so much fun that I have to do it again. Let me ask you this. If I said a target and I'm far away. Not bad. I can see the target. I know where I'm headed, and guess what did I make progress? Yeah I was here did I make progress I did it wasn't way over there but I was here okay great now I'm not necessarily gonna hit it any closer but I don't know let's just see if I go closer to the target I was way back here if I go closer to the target for so what are the odds that I'm going to hit it like close better write that I'm going to hit closer to the target oh wow way too good at this for for a demonstration purposes sorry I didn't really mean to hit it that well but that was awesome but here's the point is that I got closer I know where I'm aiming and guess what sometimes you will hit it sometimes you know maybe you're really close and he still might miss especially if there's a lot of things going on in your life especially if you're not looking at the target if I like they're a kind of looked and then I just shot it right but if I don't even look at the target I forget to keep looking at the target I have the target I set the target is there I said I said my goal but then life goes on spinning don't use that analogy that's great I'm spinning my eyes closed I don't know where the target is did I even get close? These are very light darts you're okay I want to hear more or shall I didn't get to hear from you so what was your experience what did you notice and what did you learn that I that I felt really seek care about where the target was when I stood there for the first minute when the first few turns and then I got really disoriented and it's like that in life like what hyung said it it's like that in life that I can set a goal and for instance I had a big job not very long ago and I knew that I would have a certain amount of income at the end of it and I set goals of what have how I wanted to what I want to do with the income from that from that job and at the end of that income came in I did spend and and use the money in the ways that I wanted to I also got off track is it possible that you'll get off track yeah and f it and as we return me around and then when you stopped me I was completely disoriented and really dizzy and I was not sure where the target was and I was trying to orient myself and I was really like where is my inner where's my true north I don't know and does that has that ever showed up for you in life a lot and I'm sure that you're the on ly one ever experience that great so keep that in mind. So let me ask you this. How important is that target? Let's just say on a scale of one to ten how important is that target it's a ten if you don't have it how can you ever get anywhere she said it here folks one more time with power I want everyone at home to hear you how can you ever get anywhere if you don't have it I don't know I mean it's great questions if you want to answer at home let me know so I want you to keep in mind yes erica um and your last example where you had the target and then you weren't looking that reminded me of a belief that I have had and that is I'm really committed and good make the target but my belief has been that I'm just I'm not going to follow up on it so it's not a surprise and I don't fall so now my new belief is that I have my money road math and I'm going to follow that sings on here tio to keep looking at the target throughout so great so you all are amazing I'm sure you at home are coming up with all sorts of things and there's a reason I'm not telling you what to believe about it but I don't have to first of all but everyone will come up with different things that totally are are associating in their life in your life so what's coming up for you you know when you got to see them up here, doing that and spinning and all the different, different, you know, times what I made them shoot the dart or not. What came up for you, and how does this show up for you in your life? Just something to think about.

Class Description

Strong financial management skills are a must-have for a thriving, healthy relationship — but conversations about money can trigger feelings of guilt and anxiety. Simple financial discussions don't have to turn into emotional minefields. Join Robyn Crane and CreativeLive to learn the skills you need to manage your money as a couple, without letting your finances get in the way of your relationship.

This course will teach you everything you and your partner need to know to manage your finances effectively – without stress, guilt, or conflict. You’ll learn concrete tools for communicating about finances openly and honestly. You’ll also build strategies for recognizing and correcting flawed beliefs about financial management. You’ll explore why money issues are among the most common reasons for break-ups and divorce, and learn how to safeguard your relationship against the friction financial disagreements can cause. You’ll also create a concrete, easy-to-implement system that allows you to achieve financial health by playing to your and your partner’s strengths.

You’ll leave this course with strong personal finance skills and an understanding of how to collaborate with your partner to work toward a thriving financial future.

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