Money Management for Couples

Lesson 3 of 33

You and Your Money

 

Money Management for Couples

Lesson 3 of 33

You and Your Money

 

Lesson Info

You and Your Money

You and your money. Here we go. Your relationship depends on it. There's, no doubt, right? And I hope you realize I'm not trying to convince you there's nothing for me to convince you off I have so much conviction about this I don't need to convince you I showed you the statistics right so would you agree that your relationship depends on you having money mastery or at least improving your money issues and overcoming your money issues right awesome and isn't it is it important for you and your partner to communicate well about money yes great so what you're gonna learn today I know you've already learned a ton right here like we're just getting started like those haven't been true like I felt like I just took the course I mean you just learned a ton but what you're going to learn today specifically are the money a b c's check this out you're gonna learn how to predict your financial future whoa that's cool right or not like I don't want to know and you're going to learn how to implemen...

t this immediately so you can start getting results now like now okay so first what we need to do is figure out what you need to dio is figure out what important about money to you remember I said in the grand scheme of things money is not important it's about money give what what money gives you so what you could do with your money so who you can become right so what I'd like for one of you to be a volunteer okay erica right erica can you come up for me? You're a hand all ofyou ever hand grate I'm going to go through with our love my lovely assistant erica here I'm going to go through how to do this so you can get very clear 00:01:58.868 --> 00:02:01. on what your money that these are but what I want 00:02:01.45 --> 00:02:04. you to dio you guys as well take out your pen start 00:02:04.1 --> 00:02:07. to write down as I ask you questions I ask erica questions 00:02:07.26 --> 00:02:09. I want you to write down what comes to mind for you 00:02:10.32 --> 00:02:13. so what we'll do is we'll give a little pause just 00:02:13.22 --> 00:02:16. think of it and then you tell me as a succinct as 00:02:16.0 --> 00:02:18. possible like whatever comes to your mind you have 00:02:18.36 --> 00:02:20. to explain and you have to go through it you know 00:02:20.16 --> 00:02:22. just like whatever comes to your mind what's important 00:02:22.2 --> 00:02:23. about money to you you're going to give me something 00:02:23.94 --> 00:02:26. and then I'm going to write it down and you'll have 00:02:26.07 --> 00:02:28. a chance to tell me more so don't worry okay and those 00:02:28.83 --> 00:02:31. of you at home you're going to write what comes to 00:02:31.38 --> 00:02:33. your mind this is for you you're not this is not your 00:02:34.08 --> 00:02:37. you know your money mastery roadmap for erica's money 00:02:37.61 --> 00:02:39. mastering road map that you're going to get to use 00:02:39.92 --> 00:02:41. you get to use your own so you're gonna need this 00:02:41.67 --> 00:02:43. because this is going to go right on the map all right? Forgive my terrible drawing, although I only have to do this so it shouldn't be that hard. Stairs should be able to do that. Okay, cool. So erica and all of you at home doing this yourself, you don't have the manual, take out a piece of paper, draw this and then this, and now you have a step. Okay, erica what's important about money to you, pas person. So I want all of you to say what's, to answer the question what's important about money to you, the first thing that comes to your mind. Write it down, don't judge it, don't think about it, and then stop and look back up here, erica what's. Most what's important about money to you. Freedom, freedom. My handwriting's terrible also. So just remember that freedom, okay, great want to put this question on here so you can see it what's important about this is what you're gonna do at home what's important about freedom to you. So let me just explain this. So when you're doing this, you're going to you're going to answer the question what's important about money to me? I write it down, freedom, right? Or security or whatever comes to mind, having a house doesn't matter, and then the next question 00:03:57.455 --> 00:04:00. is what's important about that? So for me, I'm going 00:04:00.77 --> 00:04:03. to ask erica what's important about freedom to you 00:04:03.74 --> 00:04:05. now it's really, really important is that you do this 00:04:05.78 --> 00:04:08. now and then you do this later with your partner, 00:04:08.5 --> 00:04:10. because you're going to get some answer at the top 00:04:10.36 --> 00:04:12. of your staircase here, and you're gonna want to make 00:04:12.23 --> 00:04:14. sure you know what's important to your partner, right? 00:04:14.78 --> 00:04:16. So that's something you do now and then you come back 00:04:16.43 --> 00:04:18. to just pull out the manual, and then you can do it 00:04:18.18 --> 00:04:20. again. What's important about freedom to you, erica, 00:04:21.34 --> 00:04:22. living my authentic life. 00:04:26.5 --> 00:04:30. I'm going to abbreviate here, living my authentic 00:04:30.84 --> 00:04:31. life, 00:04:32.64 --> 00:04:35. what's important about living your authentic life 00:04:35.47 --> 00:04:35. to you. 00:04:43.64 --> 00:04:44. Being able to help others. 00:04:47.04 --> 00:04:50. Great. That makes sense being able to help others. 00:04:52.94 --> 00:04:55. Now helping others means different things to different 00:04:55.79 --> 00:04:59. people. Right? So what's important about helping others 00:04:59.96 --> 00:05:03. to you, making things easier for other people, from 00:05:03.28 --> 00:05:07. my mistakes. So so that other people can sort of travel 00:05:07.87 --> 00:05:09. their path more easily. 00:05:17.74 --> 00:05:19. I'm the only one that really needs to read this 00:05:21.24 --> 00:05:23. so it's, so helping others is important about that. 00:05:23.75 --> 00:05:27. Is it's easy to make things easier for others so they 00:05:27.12 --> 00:05:31. can travel their path more easily? Right? So just, 00:05:31.75 --> 00:05:33. like tto learn from, 00:05:34.44 --> 00:05:37. yeah, to go through life easier than I did that path, 00:05:37.35 --> 00:05:40. or whatever. Okay, perfect. That makes sense. Okay, 00:05:40.46 --> 00:05:44. great. So what's important about making life easier 00:05:44.23 --> 00:05:46. for others so they can travel their path more easily. 00:05:47.8 --> 00:05:49. Teo what's important. 00:05:54.04 --> 00:05:57. Um, I want to make the world a better place. I know 00:05:57.77 --> 00:06:02. that sounds cliche, but that that sound cliche hands 00:06:02.53 --> 00:06:02. off. 00:06:06.86 --> 00:06:09. Wouldn't we all like erica to be able to make the 00:06:09.12 --> 00:06:09. world a better place? 00:06:11.36 --> 00:06:13. Obviously, she's doing that already, and let's, make 00:06:13.79 --> 00:06:16. it even better. What's important about making the 00:06:16.18 --> 00:06:18. world a better place to you, erica. 00:06:20.6 --> 00:06:21. Um 00:06:24.66 --> 00:06:28. so that my kids have a kinder world. 00:06:32.16 --> 00:06:35. And what's important about your kids having a kinder 00:06:36.16 --> 00:06:36. world. 00:06:42.66 --> 00:06:44. So that things will be easier for love. 00:06:47.26 --> 00:06:47. So let's. 00:06:50.66 --> 00:06:51. Let's assume 00:06:53.06 --> 00:06:54. that here you are. You're making the world a better 00:06:54.54 --> 00:06:55. place. 00:06:56.26 --> 00:06:58. Your kids have a kinder world and it's, easier for 00:06:58.68 --> 00:06:58. them. 00:07:00.43 --> 00:07:01. Imagine that that. 00:07:04.06 --> 00:07:05. What's important about that to you, 00:07:06.36 --> 00:07:10. I think while it comes back to authenticity, ok, like 00:07:12.66 --> 00:07:16. so things are set up for them. They have a quicker 00:07:16.12 --> 00:07:18. path, the authenticity good and what's important about 00:07:18.9 --> 00:07:19. authenticity. Tio 00:07:20.86 --> 00:07:23. seems like a crazy question. I know how couldn't be 00:07:23.04 --> 00:07:24. more important than that, but what's important about 00:07:24.81 --> 00:07:28. authenticity. What's really important about authenticity? 00:07:28.32 --> 00:07:28. Tio 00:07:29.96 --> 00:07:31. it's, obviously very important. 00:07:33.76 --> 00:07:34. Um 00:07:38.56 --> 00:07:40. like fulfillment and peace. 00:07:48.99 --> 00:07:52. That may be it I don't know so you tell me but maybe 00:07:52.82 --> 00:07:56. there's one more level or two or three what's important 00:07:56.71 --> 00:08:02. to you about fulfillment peace important um by the 00:08:02.57 --> 00:08:05. way as you're thinking of that so you're going to 00:08:05.32 --> 00:08:07. get stuck you might you might not make this is gonna 00:08:07.64 --> 00:08:10. be really really simple maybe is gonna take take some 00:08:10.34 --> 00:08:12. time for you to figure it out that's okay you got 00:08:12.45 --> 00:08:14. your whole life ahead of you you can always change 00:08:14.98 --> 00:08:18. it make it better later but what you're doing is getting 00:08:18.01 --> 00:08:21. to the core of really what money why is money important 00:08:21.91 --> 00:08:23. to you ultimately is giving you something that has 00:08:23.53 --> 00:08:24. nothing to do with money 00:08:25.88 --> 00:08:27. but that's where it starts that's important about 00:08:27.37 --> 00:08:30. money to you make sure you're writing this down right 00:08:30.52 --> 00:08:34. now don't do it later okay I know what he's like okay 00:08:34.11 --> 00:08:36. this is a good one all mark this in my manual do it 00:08:36.13 --> 00:08:38. later no no no do it now you can always make it better 00:08:38.94 --> 00:08:41. you can go through this ten times if you want it doesn't 00:08:41.96 --> 00:08:45. have to be perfect but let's see if that leads to 00:08:45.1 --> 00:08:48. see if there's anything else what's important about 00:08:48.28 --> 00:08:50. fulfillment and peace to you 00:08:51.58 --> 00:08:54. I think the growth aspect of it girl with his eyes 00:08:55.78 --> 00:08:56. okay 00:08:57.22 --> 00:08:59. now this might be it but there might be more it's 00:08:59.69 --> 00:09:01. ok if there's more is ok if this is it 00:09:02.68 --> 00:09:06. can I ask you a really surprising question. Think 00:09:06.63 --> 00:09:09. about this. This is gonna be knocking off your socks, 00:09:10.44 --> 00:09:15. gonna be their god. What is important about growth 00:09:15.38 --> 00:09:15. to you? 00:09:18.08 --> 00:09:19. Growth means different things to different people. 00:09:19.68 --> 00:09:21. What's important about growth to you. 00:09:27.28 --> 00:09:30. It really actually always comes back like I'm circling 00:09:30.89 --> 00:09:33. around to authenticity ok great so let's leave it 00:09:33.47 --> 00:09:36. at that so you got authenticity fulfillment in peace 00:09:36.78 --> 00:09:39. I mean wilhelmina peace and growth great does that 00:09:39.21 --> 00:09:40. feel like what money is all about to you 00:09:42.38 --> 00:09:45. I know that feels good I wouldn't I would never have 00:09:45.35 --> 00:09:48. just given you those answering okay give erica a huge 00:09:48.69 --> 00:09:52. round of applause thank you go ahead take a seat okay 00:09:52.37 --> 00:09:55. I love what you just said erica she said I never would 00:09:55.01 --> 00:09:57. have thought of those answers so if I just said you 00:09:57.61 --> 00:09:59. know ok I'm going to go around the room I'm gonna 00:09:59.22 --> 00:10:01. have you guys you know sending a message you know 00:10:01.3 --> 00:10:03. what's what's important about money you know and you're 00:10:03.36 --> 00:10:07. just like a freedom security you know peace of mind 00:10:07.31 --> 00:10:09. probably all the you know standard things that people 00:10:09.45 --> 00:10:11. say right but it's not necessarily what's important 00:10:11.97 --> 00:10:13. about money to you I mean some people end up with 00:10:13.95 --> 00:10:16. this and it's all just this is the purpose of my life 00:10:17.3 --> 00:10:19. you know and maybe that's ultimately what is growth 00:10:19.21 --> 00:10:20. is the purpose of my life authenticity is the purpose 00:10:20.99 --> 00:10:23. of my life like oftentimes ends and purpose but it 00:10:23.41 --> 00:10:25. doesn't matter where it ends and it may never and 00:10:25.9 --> 00:10:28. you know what you can do seventeen or mohr stair steps 00:10:28.32 --> 00:10:30. doesn't have to be this but go through this to figure 00:10:30.98 --> 00:10:33. it out so for now even though it might not be the 00:10:33.62 --> 00:10:36. ultimate ultimate ultimate I want you to assume that 00:10:36.53 --> 00:10:42. this is this is like your top three for now even though 00:10:42.29 --> 00:10:43. it might change and it probably will change your whole 00:10:43.95 --> 00:10:44. life right 00:10:46.2 --> 00:10:49. okay so that's what we did so I'm gonna label I want 00:10:49.33 --> 00:10:51. you all take out your manual and you're gonna put 00:10:51.17 --> 00:10:54. a number here one two three from the top down so you 00:10:54.75 --> 00:10:58. have your stairs step page twelve kind so it looks 00:10:58.27 --> 00:11:01. like this for those of you at home and from the top 00:11:01.63 --> 00:11:05. down you're gonna number at one two three okay now 00:11:06.1 --> 00:11:08. I want you to say this because I've done it I've done 00:11:08.35 --> 00:11:10. this with people and then you know like you said erica 00:11:10.93 --> 00:11:13. they don't really you know feel like oh is that money 00:11:13.14 --> 00:11:14. so I want you to say this sentence 00:11:15.76 --> 00:11:18. ultimately that team is really supposed to be a quote 00:11:18.76 --> 00:11:22. ultimately what's important about money to me is and 00:11:22.42 --> 00:11:27. you're going to do like this three two one so what's 00:11:27.42 --> 00:11:29. your name I didn't get your name michelle thanks for 00:11:29.9 --> 00:11:32. show nice to meet you um can you say this sentence 00:11:32.81 --> 00:11:35. and give did you do this? Exercise is great can you 00:11:35.28 --> 00:11:37. look at you have the one two three down ay dio awesome. 00:11:37.71 --> 00:11:39. Can you say this sentence for me and then fill in 00:11:39.91 --> 00:11:41. the blank so I could hear what's important, ultimately 00:11:41.81 --> 00:11:44. what's important to you also really what's important 00:11:44.71 --> 00:11:49. what's most important about money to me, is being 00:11:49.41 --> 00:11:52. at peace, living in truth and being one with god. 00:11:53.46 --> 00:11:55. Beautiful. Give her a hand. 00:11:58.2 --> 00:11:59. How does that feel right now to you 00:12:00.74 --> 00:12:04. it feels amazing I never would have put that together 00:12:04.52 --> 00:12:08. with money ever amazing well that's awesome so that's 00:12:08.55 --> 00:12:10. what you're gonna find at home you're going to be 00:12:10.61 --> 00:12:13. kind of surprising wow I would never put money you 00:12:13.11 --> 00:12:14. know that money together and that happens by the way 00:12:14.95 --> 00:12:16. you had very spiritually you know would you say you're 00:12:16.93 --> 00:12:19. a spiritual person very much ok great and your your 00:12:19.92 --> 00:12:22. money values are in line with who you are isn't that 00:12:22.17 --> 00:12:26. true yeah but most I would say most many times people 00:12:26.68 --> 00:12:30. associate money and spirituality as something that 00:12:30.22 --> 00:12:33. doesn't go together right if I'm a spiritual person 00:12:33.28 --> 00:12:36. I don't need money honey and money I'm spiritually 00:12:36.1 --> 00:12:36. person 00:12:37.62 --> 00:12:40. but imagine what you could do with money if your spiritual 00:12:40.79 --> 00:12:44. person if you're all about authenticity right imagine 00:12:44.98 --> 00:12:46. what you could do with your money you can help more 00:12:46.46 --> 00:12:49. people could you contribute more to the world yes 00:12:49.49 --> 00:12:52. course right so I want to show you because you were 00:12:52.02 --> 00:12:54. authentic with me and we're gonna want to give me 00:12:54.14 --> 00:12:56. your show quick ultimately what's most important about 00:12:56.62 --> 00:13:01. money to use uh that say the whole sentence for me 00:13:01.09 --> 00:13:05. sure feels so ultimately the most important what's 00:13:05.18 --> 00:13:07. most important about money to me is 00:13:09.22 --> 00:13:13. making meaning for others that through that 00:13:14.77 --> 00:13:18. I mean something of value to others which means that 00:13:18.2 --> 00:13:20. my life has meaning awesome 00:13:21.55 --> 00:13:25. it's amazing right? I don't know these people and 00:13:25.14 --> 00:13:26. now I feel like I know you 00:13:27.82 --> 00:13:31. if I know your money values I know who you are and 00:13:31.51 --> 00:13:33. what you're here on this planet to do 00:13:34.85 --> 00:13:37. unbelievable so because you shared with me I want 00:13:37.25 --> 00:13:38. to share with you and I'm going to show you have a 00:13:38.92 --> 00:13:41. little video my husband again I know I'm saying my 00:13:41.06 --> 00:13:43. husband so amazing and you're some of you who maybe 00:13:43.79 --> 00:13:46. think that's really annoying but I want to appreciate 00:13:46.64 --> 00:13:49. him and yes like yesterday he put together this video 00:13:49.82 --> 00:13:52. for me because I really wanted to show you so you 00:13:52.57 --> 00:13:54. can see a little bit of my life and what's so what's 00:13:54.49 --> 00:13:57. most important to me and so my husband amazing gravity 00:13:57.69 --> 00:13:59. is he put together this video I know he said it took 00:13:59.48 --> 00:14:02. him three hours so it's only a minute long or so but 00:14:02.17 --> 00:14:05. I want you to see what my life is all about and I'll 00:14:05.76 --> 00:14:07. tell you a little bit so you know what you're looking 00:14:07.41 --> 00:14:10. at but really this is about my life is about helping 00:14:10.0 --> 00:14:12. people this is why I teach is the way I do seminars 00:14:12.01 --> 00:14:15. this is why I love coaching and speaking my life is 00:14:15.56 --> 00:14:17. about my family and what's most important to me is 00:14:17.85 --> 00:14:21. that you know I give to my daughter and my husband 00:14:21.3 --> 00:14:24. I have a green black you know level relationship now 00:14:24.84 --> 00:14:27. yellow orange or red you know so bringing that to 00:14:27.26 --> 00:14:29. the next level bring that to the next level was important 00:14:29.76 --> 00:14:32. to me, my parents and my family, my brothers. I mean, 00:14:32.41 --> 00:14:34. that's, what's really important to me. So I'm going 00:14:34.05 --> 00:14:36. to show you this video so you can. You can get tau, 00:14:36.51 --> 00:14:38. meet my family and all, I'll tell you a little about 00:14:38.65 --> 00:14:38. it. 00:14:49.1 --> 00:14:49. Yeah. 00:14:52.34 --> 00:14:52. Yeah. 00:15:01.74 --> 00:15:02. Me, 00:15:03.69 --> 00:15:06. I have been. Obviously, this is called just dance. 00:15:08.15 --> 00:15:10. What? Screen and dance to love it, 00:15:12.13 --> 00:15:15. right? No. Check out my socks. Hilarious. 00:15:16.74 --> 00:15:19. Citizen, alaska going on a helicopter to the glacier, 00:15:21.34 --> 00:15:22. something my husband gave you. 00:15:28.71 --> 00:15:31. At the new jersey shore. Yeah, yeah. 00:15:34.64 --> 00:15:35. I'm gonna meet moxie. 00:15:49.9 --> 00:15:50. No, I can't. 00:15:53.44 --> 00:15:54. Kissing in our family. 00:15:56.64 --> 00:16:01. This's in mexico way, weii fed two hundred families 00:16:01.59 --> 00:16:03. and gave all the children backpacks for school. 00:16:08.36 --> 00:16:10. My parents were there and my daughter. 00:16:22.56 --> 00:16:24. Teaching leading seminars giving back 00:16:26.76 --> 00:16:27. having fun? 00:16:37.06 --> 00:16:39. So it just watching that gets me choked up, because 00:16:39.42 --> 00:16:42. it's just it's, so important to me that I live my 00:16:42.21 --> 00:16:44. purpose. And I live my life to fulfillment, you know, 00:16:45.19 --> 00:16:48. so important that my my daughter grows up in a lovely 00:16:48.44 --> 00:16:50. home where we get along, and and that we have, like, 00:16:50.81 --> 00:16:53. the most amazing relationship. I mean, it's, so important 00:16:53.86 --> 00:16:57. that I can go to mexico or panama are australia places. 00:16:57.52 --> 00:17:00. We've been to give back to people who are less fortunate 00:17:00.67 --> 00:17:04. and don't have what we have it's, just so important 00:17:04.03 --> 00:17:08. to me and and it's, never about money. But, like I 00:17:08.51 --> 00:17:12. said, earlier, money enhances who you already are. 00:17:14.61 --> 00:17:16. Money enhances who you already all her, 00:17:18.26 --> 00:17:20. and you know, you're amazing. So, couldn't you do 00:17:20.88 --> 00:17:23. more even more amazing things, having more money? 00:17:23.96 --> 00:17:27. So I want you to imagine, for a moment, gonna feel 00:17:27.17 --> 00:17:29. weird for you, but really, try to imagine. 00:17:30.69 --> 00:17:33. Imagine if you had one hundred million dollars in 00:17:33.25 --> 00:17:33. the bank 00:17:35.66 --> 00:17:38. and let's. Imagine all of you home there. Thousands 00:17:38.16 --> 00:17:42. of people, thousands of people here online, every 00:17:42.42 --> 00:17:44. one of you has one hundred million dollars. 00:17:46.96 --> 00:17:49. Could we make the world a better place? 00:17:52.81 --> 00:17:54. I mean, assuming all these people are like, you guys, 00:17:56.06 --> 00:18:00. be a wonderful place, right? Could we contribute more? 00:18:01.81 --> 00:18:03. We spend more time our family. 00:18:04.68 --> 00:18:06. Could we do it? We're meant to do on this earth, 00:18:08.68 --> 00:18:09. right 00:18:10.88 --> 00:18:11. so much we could d'oh. 00:18:14.18 --> 00:18:17. So let's take a look at you and your money your money 00:18:17.68 --> 00:18:19. and emotions 00:18:20.48 --> 00:18:24. money and emotions you know money is a very emotional 00:18:24.43 --> 00:18:28. thing this is on page fourteen your manual I'm gonna 00:18:28.4 --> 00:18:31. tell you real short story so my husband I told you 00:18:31.69 --> 00:18:35. he went through bankruptcy and after you know we started 00:18:35.03 --> 00:18:37. dating and all this and and we had an opportunity 00:18:37.85 --> 00:18:39. he was like putting his life back together and start 00:18:39.86 --> 00:18:42. to make money and all this and and he was training 00:18:42.19 --> 00:18:46. doctors how to use this machine which basically takes 00:18:46.73 --> 00:18:51. the health uh basically measures the health of your 00:18:51.47 --> 00:18:53. heart it's not just blood pressure anything like that's 00:18:53.76 --> 00:18:56. really like you know cool machine and we went to hawaii 00:18:56.67 --> 00:18:59. we have this opportunity to share with some people 00:18:59.0 --> 00:19:01. and we were there and you know there were there were 00:19:01.51 --> 00:19:03. actually people lined up because they want to know 00:19:03.73 --> 00:19:05. like you know you hear those stories about people 00:19:05.67 --> 00:19:08. at forty and dropping dead from a run because they 00:19:08.42 --> 00:19:10. had something going on out there hardly building exercise 00:19:10.53 --> 00:19:12. all the time right so he was really passionate about 00:19:12.46 --> 00:19:15. this and we went there and I was like okay great vacation 00:19:15.2 --> 00:19:17. for me and he's going for work and we brought her 00:19:17.44 --> 00:19:21. daughter and it was awesome and and we were they had 00:19:21.06 --> 00:19:23. people lined up and he was only charging fifty bucks 00:19:23.46 --> 00:19:25. like he totally discounted think is he wanted to get 00:19:25.55 --> 00:19:28. better as craft he wanted to really become an expert 00:19:28.33 --> 00:19:30. at what he was doing and be able to really really 00:19:30.25 --> 00:19:33. teach them and so we had I mean I don't know how many 00:19:33.37 --> 00:19:36. people fifty people whatever it is they were lined 00:19:36.5 --> 00:19:38. up to do this and went through the whole thing and 00:19:38.11 --> 00:19:40. I was the one collecting the money and I was like 00:19:40.64 --> 00:19:42. ooh and they were all paying cash because it was just 00:19:42.34 --> 00:19:44. like simple is fifty bucks we didn't like take credit 00:19:44.51 --> 00:19:46. cards at that time and he people are just giving me 00:19:46.83 --> 00:19:48. cash and he's doing the thing give me cash and I was 00:19:48.9 --> 00:19:51. like sweet sweet sweet sweet and we got back to the 00:19:51.65 --> 00:19:55. hotel room and literally we had three thousand dollars 00:19:55.69 --> 00:19:59. of cash and I was like this is me right that's not 00:19:59.21 --> 00:20:01. really me but that was me I was like totally giddy 00:20:01.39 --> 00:20:04. I was like oh okay get this it's not like I never made three thousand dollars before like got checks way bigger than that made a lot more money in that butt toe have the cash in my hand like I was super giddy and I look over to my hat my husband and he's like he's like yeah go and I was honey like look it we have three thousand cash like you know he just went through a breakup like isn't this exciting like you're making money again like isn't this so cool and you know he to me he seems like totally ambivalent like he didn't care like it was no big deal and the funny thing is that I actually said this in front of the room like you I didn't even say he I thought he was ambivalent I said and my husband was totally ambivalent and later he said honey, I wasn't ambivalent like you thought it was ambivalent by the way good lesson right what do you believing to be true about your partner how they feel even though you're not asking them and you don't know so I made an assumption that he doesn't even care like it's like not important to him right which makes up all these other beliefs in my head and he said no I was really happy and I was like was that your happy face on four so maybe you want to tell your face about this when you're happy so it actually shows but the truth is I didn't know how he felt so I want you guys to start with yourself right we're working on yourself to look at your emotions so right now in your manual that turned a page fourteen and I want you to write down some negative and positive emotions I gave you a bunch negative emotions all shot him out here he got anger fear guilt shame, sadness, stress worry, anxiety, embarrassment it's all in your manual and then there's some blanks there for you to add some motions that maybe I didn't think of that you experience, and then I want you to write on the other side, some positive emotions. And for those of you who have the manual, you just concern, kal them. So circle the ones, and what I want you to do is is circle the emotions you experience most when dealing with her, thinking about money, 00:22:04.72 --> 00:22:08. because money determines how you feel, we're just 00:22:08.15 --> 00:22:10. going to take a minute, not even to circle those. 00:22:11.82 --> 00:22:14. So, erica, you're not writing. So what did you, what 00:22:14.26 --> 00:22:16. did you circle emotions that could be on either side? 00:22:16.33 --> 00:22:19. By the way, what emotions are you experiencing? Most 00:22:19.54 --> 00:22:24. often, my top three are stress being on edge and hopeful. 00:22:25.62 --> 00:22:26. Awesome. 00:22:29.12 --> 00:22:29. Stress 00:22:31.82 --> 00:22:34. being on edge 00:22:35.92 --> 00:22:39. and hopeful. Awesome, thank you. Great. What I want 00:22:39.88 --> 00:22:42. you to think about is really what you're experiencing 00:22:42.3 --> 00:22:44. on databases, so you have stress being on edge and 00:22:44.96 --> 00:22:48. hopeful, so you have a couple negative and and one 00:22:48.52 --> 00:22:52. positive. Can you think of a time, erica, in the last 00:22:52.03 --> 00:22:52. week. 00:22:54.57 --> 00:22:56. I wrote this. But I'm gonna skip that. Can you think 00:22:56.65 --> 00:22:58. of a time, a specific time? And last week, when you 00:22:58.95 --> 00:23:00. felt one of these emotions? 00:23:02.82 --> 00:23:03. Which one 00:23:04.25 --> 00:23:08. um probably the on edge on edge great thank you okay 00:23:09.12 --> 00:23:11. and what happened can you give us like thirty seconds 00:23:11.72 --> 00:23:13. of like the story of what happened why were you on 00:23:13.86 --> 00:23:17. edge or what qualitative that I don't have a very 00:23:17.55 --> 00:23:20. good I have like an overall budget and I've broken 00:23:20.77 --> 00:23:24. it down you know monthly weekly but I don't have a 00:23:24.98 --> 00:23:25. very good 00:23:27.42 --> 00:23:32. gage as teo managing it daily ok but what specifically 00:23:32.77 --> 00:23:36. happened oh um so I was just going to the grocery 00:23:36.25 --> 00:23:40. store and it was at the end of the week and we just 00:23:40.1 --> 00:23:43. put a certain amount of money in the in our spending 00:23:43.13 --> 00:23:47. account for that and I before we got to the er I was 00:23:47.82 --> 00:23:50. just getting to the checkout and I sort of panicked 00:23:50.1 --> 00:23:51. that I needed to make sure that I had enough money 00:23:51.8 --> 00:23:52. in my debit 00:23:53.47 --> 00:23:56. in my debit account felt like your aunt to cover what 00:23:56.73 --> 00:23:59. it wass so I needed to check my phone real quick to 00:23:59.67 --> 00:24:02. make sure that that account had the money in it okay 00:24:02.58 --> 00:24:04. perfect so I'm sure a lot of you have experienced 00:24:04.77 --> 00:24:08. similar similar stuff so the point of this exercise 00:24:08.32 --> 00:24:12. is to really think about um the emotions that you're 00:24:12.5 --> 00:24:14. experiencing and how it's affecting your life right? 00:24:14.81 --> 00:24:16. Because you're experiencing these emotions of money 00:24:16.63 --> 00:24:20. and it's dictating how you feel it's dictating what 00:24:20.05 --> 00:24:23. you do is dictating what you believe and what I am 00:24:23.26 --> 00:24:26. here to tell you is that you get to choose those emotions 00:24:26.84 --> 00:24:29. and what often happens with my private clients is 00:24:29.25 --> 00:24:31. that you know they say they want more money and that 00:24:31.22 --> 00:24:34. we get clear on what they want specifically but when 00:24:34.0 --> 00:24:37. we actually start doing things like what the ultimate 00:24:37.63 --> 00:24:39. law ultimately want which are the emotions the way 00:24:39.73 --> 00:24:42. that they feel they start getting way before the money 00:24:42.84 --> 00:24:44. comes doesn't mean the money doesn't come the money 00:24:44.73 --> 00:24:47. comes but they get that way before the money comes 00:24:47.74 --> 00:24:50. because when you're clear on the emotions that you 00:24:50.01 --> 00:24:53. want and you decide to talk to about decision right 00:24:53.86 --> 00:24:59. decide what isn't most important to you and that you 00:24:59.03 --> 00:25:01. need to have those emotions then you can control your 00:25:01.79 --> 00:25:02. life 00:25:03.14 --> 00:25:05. so choose what to emotions would you like to experience 00:25:05.41 --> 00:25:06. and you can start that and your manual 00:25:08.34 --> 00:25:10. so first I want you to really think about why are 00:25:10.64 --> 00:25:11. you here 00:25:12.44 --> 00:25:16. why are you taking the time online right now watching 00:25:16.32 --> 00:25:19. this time out of your day time is the most important 00:25:19.68 --> 00:25:22. thing you have why are you doing that why are you 00:25:22.69 --> 00:25:25. here I want to think about that and you can write 00:25:25.53 --> 00:25:28. this down your manual on page fifteen and also what 00:25:28.82 --> 00:25:33. you want and why this is this is a real kicker why 00:25:33.23 --> 00:25:35. is it important for you to change because what you're 00:25:35.42 --> 00:25:37. realizing now that this is all about you and your 00:25:37.62 --> 00:25:41. money is the you you are controlling your life, hopefully 00:25:41.03 --> 00:25:42. right, or you can control your life. 00:25:44.14 --> 00:25:46. So why is it important for you to change? 00:25:50.44 --> 00:25:52. And then the second question. I want you to ask yourself. 00:25:55.14 --> 00:25:59. Is how committed are you so look you probably heard 00:25:59.72 --> 00:26:02. this I didn't make this story up but it's a great 00:26:02.31 --> 00:26:05. depiction of what I mean here and I heard this from 00:26:05.19 --> 00:26:08. someone amazing I heard him tell this story his name's 00:26:08.1 --> 00:26:10. e t u can look of e t inspired I'll plug him I don't 00:26:10.61 --> 00:26:12. know the guy but like he's really incredible he tells 00:26:12.51 --> 00:26:13. this story 00:26:14.16 --> 00:26:17. very very well and what he what he said was this he 00:26:17.32 --> 00:26:20. said there's a there's a man who wants to be rich 00:26:20.79 --> 00:26:23. so he goes to this guru you know I know it's not the 00:26:23.31 --> 00:26:25. same story already so don't worry but he goes to this 00:26:25.48 --> 00:26:28. guru who rich someone who's wealthy and he says he 00:26:28.4 --> 00:26:32. says what how do I become rich and so the guy said 00:26:32.81 --> 00:26:34. the guru said meet me 00:26:35.36 --> 00:26:37. at the beach tomorrow at four a m 00:26:38.95 --> 00:26:40. you know are you are you coachable? Are you willing 00:26:40.9 --> 00:26:43. tto learn are you willing tto take my advice it's 00:26:43.4 --> 00:26:45. like yeah of course you know you're very successful 00:26:45.05 --> 00:26:47. like I want to be successful I want to be rich and 00:26:47.66 --> 00:26:49. so I was like okay if you want to be successful if 00:26:49.65 --> 00:26:51. you want to be rich meet me at the beach tomorrow 00:26:51.56 --> 00:26:55. for am so the next day the guy goes and you know he 00:26:55.18 --> 00:26:57. dresses up he thinks he's gonna learn, you know, something 00:26:57.35 --> 00:27:00. incredible and the guru says to him, okay, walk out 00:27:00.91 --> 00:27:03. into the water take few steps, walk out to about your 00:27:03.9 --> 00:27:06. knees so the guy's, like what 00:27:07.72 --> 00:27:11. I came to learn about. Well, I came to be successful 00:27:11.76 --> 00:27:14. like I'm not going swimming, you know, I wantto don't 00:27:14.34 --> 00:27:17. want to get wet like I'm in clothes here, he's, like 00:27:17.26 --> 00:27:19. he said he wanted to learn to be successful, walk 00:27:19.01 --> 00:27:23. into the water, it walks out, then he's like, okay, 00:27:24.19 --> 00:27:27. now the guru says, walk out even further, and now 00:27:27.55 --> 00:27:30. he goes up to about his chest. Here, what is going 00:27:30.93 --> 00:27:32. on? The guru comes with him, 00:27:33.22 --> 00:27:36. right, walks out. Now they're in the water and this 00:27:36.05 --> 00:27:38. guy's, what is going on? What is this guy doing? Then 00:27:38.77 --> 00:27:42. all of a sudden the goo grabs the guy's head. He throws 00:27:42.81 --> 00:27:45. his head under the water, he hold him down, hold him 00:27:45.55 --> 00:27:48. down, hold him down, hold him down on the guy's like 00:27:48.03 --> 00:27:51. it's. Really like trying to get up trying to get up 00:27:51.16 --> 00:27:53. race held down underwater, and finally, the guru lifts 00:27:53.67 --> 00:27:56. him up and what's this guy do he goes so 00:28:00.26 --> 00:28:01. and the guru says, 00:28:03.12 --> 00:28:04. when you were under her water, 00:28:06.38 --> 00:28:07. what did you want? Most? 00:28:09.68 --> 00:28:12. What they want? Great to breathe, 00:28:13.98 --> 00:28:17. he said, when you want to be successful, when you 00:28:17.57 --> 00:28:21. want to be rich, as much as you want to breathe. 00:28:24.28 --> 00:28:24. Then 00:28:26.08 --> 00:28:27. you will be successful. 00:28:29.78 --> 00:28:32. And I have a similar experience, okay, I don't have 00:28:32.24 --> 00:28:34. someone hold me down, but I remember I was in junior 00:28:34.69 --> 00:28:36. high and I was out with this boy that I liked and 00:28:36.88 --> 00:28:39. we're on the beach and I was like, I think he was 00:28:39.76 --> 00:28:41. on the beach and I was in the water and I got in the 00:28:41.99 --> 00:28:44. water and I was like, totally, you know, body surfing 00:28:44.82 --> 00:28:46. and stuff. I was wearing a bikini and I was, like, 00:28:46.98 --> 00:28:48. really, like having fun in the water. And all of a 00:28:48.9 --> 00:28:53. sudden, like this way came behind me, took me uniform 00:28:53.1 --> 00:28:55. up, up, up from under me, and I'm like under the water 00:28:55.32 --> 00:28:57. under the water, like under the water. If felt like 00:28:57.97 --> 00:29:00. it was ours, I was where's, the top where's, the bottom. 00:29:00.84 --> 00:29:04. Where am I? Where am I? Finally, I get up and I'm 00:29:04.23 --> 00:29:05. like, 00:29:06.98 --> 00:29:11. I look out on the beach, I see this boy since seventh 00:29:11.82 --> 00:29:13. grade, I like and I'm like 00:29:17.08 --> 00:29:17. a life 00:29:18.77 --> 00:29:19. and then I like, 00:29:20.78 --> 00:29:23. look down in my top. 00:29:24.68 --> 00:29:26. My bathing suit top is around my waist, 00:29:28.48 --> 00:29:31. let's, get underwater, and I was like, oh, I goodness 00:29:31.47 --> 00:29:34. out, so embarrassing. And I remember thinking like 00:29:34.28 --> 00:29:37. that was such an embarrassing moment, like or in the, 00:29:37.41 --> 00:29:40. you know, in the truck, back with his dad or something, 00:29:40.19 --> 00:29:42. and I'm like that guy just total there, saw these 00:29:42.25 --> 00:29:44. guys. Not that they were big at all, but I was so 00:29:44.83 --> 00:29:47. embarrassed. But, like, it was funny, because I wasn't 00:29:47.65 --> 00:29:50. that focus on that, like his right after. Like all 00:29:50.12 --> 00:29:50. I cared about, 00:29:52.48 --> 00:29:56. all I cared about was like taking that breath. If 00:29:56.48 --> 00:29:59. you want to be successful, if you want to master money, 00:30:00.18 --> 00:30:03. you want to make this happen in your life, you need 00:30:03.08 --> 00:30:06. to want it as much as you can breathe.

Class Description

Strong financial management skills are a must-have for a thriving, healthy relationship — but conversations about money can trigger feelings of guilt and anxiety. Simple financial discussions don't have to turn into emotional minefields. Join Robyn Crane and CreativeLive to learn the skills you need to manage your money as a couple, without letting your finances get in the way of your relationship.

This course will teach you everything you and your partner need to know to manage your finances effectively – without stress, guilt, or conflict. You’ll learn concrete tools for communicating about finances openly and honestly. You’ll also build strategies for recognizing and correcting flawed beliefs about financial management. You’ll explore why money issues are among the most common reasons for break-ups and divorce, and learn how to safeguard your relationship against the friction financial disagreements can cause. You’ll also create a concrete, easy-to-implement system that allows you to achieve financial health by playing to your and your partner’s strengths.

You’ll leave this course with strong personal finance skills and an understanding of how to collaborate with your partner to work toward a thriving financial future.

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