Multi-Millionaire Self Talk


Money Management for Couples


Lesson Info

Multi-Millionaire Self Talk

Multi millionaire self talk so how many of you heard of jim carrey cap how much you um so jim carey he was when he was a struggling comedian he decided decided that he was going to make ten million dollars but he didn't just decide this he did two major things that I want you to notice number one he decided by when he's going to do it so he said I I will earn ten million dollars a year by the way I will earn ten million dollars a year by nineteen, ninety five now, not only did he say that I mean he did say it and he decided it he also said it out loud he'd be driving in this car and, you know, over the hills of hollywood and be like screaming at the top of my lungs I earned ten million dollars a year higher don't you know I was here you know how wacky is just right looked a little like this or something like that but he's like committed to it he has his multi millionaire self talk but he took it one step further. He also wrote himself a check you know the story he wrote himself a check...

for ten million dollars and was able to cash it by nineteen ninety five you may not remember, but in nineteen ninety five that's when ace ventura came out pet detective whatever the first one was on dh he got paid twenty million dollars, so not only did he reaches goal, he exceeded his goal and that starts with your multi millionaire self talk that's where you're gonna learn so this is within the key the four keys to richer relationship this is the second key, so we've gone over the first key, which is clarity you've got clear about your money time and about your money, right? The kim jim system and no to grow its system and now you're in communication. So the first question is, how are you communicating to yourself? So you want to identify your current language patterns? What do you say to yourself? And sometimes you you might think I don't know, I don't know what I say to myself, you know? So you have to sometimes think of a time like a specific time when you've got that emotion, right. We talked about your emotions with money, so maybe you can think of a specific time where you felt stressed about money. What were you saying to yourself? What was that record playing in your mind? And what is the record that typically plays in your mind over and over again? I'm gonna tell you mine in a minute, so here's the question, this is what you want to write down what statements do you make about money I'd love to get the audience involved here can you guys think of just about money what do you say yeah clarifying question is how does this different from like the belief statements awesome good question a lot of times what you believe you end up you do end up having a language pattern around it um but how does it differ I mean it's really more intentional so what I want you to do is take that stuff that like plays in your head that does like shape your beliefs right the language shapes your beliefs or the and the belief shaped shapes the language so it's all intertwined but now I want you to have intention what I mean by that is now have the talk that you want to play in your head that's going to get you on the path to mastery so you get to decide so if you noticed let's say you know you noticed your behavior is that you don't look at your money right and you maybe say to yourself like I don't want to look at your what might you say about money like what would you say you believe you believe that looking at your money will give you anxiety this may not be your exact belief but you may believe that looking at your money may give you anxiety you say I don't look at my money uh I feel sick you know about or if it's specifically about money you might say I want to look my money that's what you say they can also be a belief it can it can overlap so what do what statements do you make about money I look at it another time okay okay. Perfect. Perfect. Not right now. Okay that's very, very common so it's like you know it will happen someday right someday lisa place going nowhere right so it will happen someday so essentially you're saying I'll look at it later I'll do it later and a lot of times when I say do the exercise now we'll take the next ten minutes in the break and do the exercise now because I know that people do that we're human right? You're going to have other things going on you're going toe forget that it's a huge priority so awesome. So that is the statement you make specifically about you're you're looking at money what else might you say about money just like money in general like some of the money is stuff might come up like it's you can base it on some of your beliefs what might you say about money? Well, like I hear my sally spends their voice say I don't know this quote quite goes into this but like oh what the can I say? Oh pick back o at the hack what the heck, like I'll just buy? Yeah, ok, so you might say, oh, what the heck with ex whatevers play your head it's not right or wrong it's just to start to notice and what's interesting is that because it's, you have so many thoughts and so much going on in your head, you don't necessarily realize what you're saying to yourself some common ones maybe, you know, we can't afford it that's something you might say to yourself and out loud, like one teaching money parenting this is something I noticed all the time is that parents would say things and then their kids and end up saying in there, like, I don't know where that came from. Oh, yeah, I said that I said, no wonder my kid is saying, for example, I was telling me that they were driving along in their van and their five year olds in the back, and he starts going wrong, a budget run about it wrong, a budget and the mom she was like, oh, where did that come from? Oh, probably me, I'm always saying we're on a budget, we're on a budget, so when I work with parents, so much of it is their language patterns if you're saying it to yourself, you're probably saying it out loud as well now in a second I'm going to show you self talk self talk is a little bit different because that is mostly going on in your head because you would never say it out loud I'll tell you that in a sec but give you an example my husband he grew up and what he heard all the time is we don't have the money I can't afford it um you know and they actually went through times where they couldn't I mean they were they didn't have much money his father was a horseshoe er and they they had like times where they couldn't pay their bills I remember him telling me stories about how he would like go into the clock you know, the like the cabinet like well we're all their food was like he'd go in there like in the closet and he find some food like a can of corn and he'd taken at this time like years I don't know when he was in high school his mom his parents got divorced, his mom got remarried and they were like I think five kids in the house and they were all in high school and so they were always, you know, eating a lot and he would just like take corn or take puffed rice like whatever he could find and horrid and eat it because he felt like they never had enough but instead of adopting that language pattern himself he decided the opposite like I will not be like my parents and now he is all about choices all about saying yes, I mean, even with our daughter, he doesn't like to say no to her so it's like daddy, can I have some ice cream? Yes, and she goes right now because she knows daddy will say yes, but it doesn't mean that happens right now because he doesn't want to run the ling the pattern of no, no, no in our house, if we say the word, can't we have to do push ups? Three push ups for the word can't because this is my husband's idea he is his dad said can't never did nothing can't never did nothing and so he always felt like he could do anything that's the one thing he completely got from his parents and he could do anything and he fully believe that and that's why he is where he is today and so in our house and we say the word can't this is our daughter and us if we say the word boring it's pushed up time because we have to interrupt their pattern because we don't want to give that to our daughter first of all, we want him to believe she could do anything, and so it's just doesn't exist in this very cute because he's like I cannot you know she uses that I cannot do that have like that kind of counts honey but you know at least your conscious about at that school or you know instead she'll say I'm not able tio so it's great is language pattern right so so those air his but what about your so give me some of yours rina or rachelle what some of your statements that you make specifically about money if you could want in line is I'm out of cash at the moment I'm out of cash at the moment ok make sure you write that down awesome so it's kind of just a pattern you're like hey it just all happened so this is really really good because what we notice yesterday is that you you really see tell me from right you see the glass is half full right? You see things as an opportunity one of the beliefs that you had given yourself a one would that said you totally disagreed that said you know I don't think there are opportunities or something but opportunities right you're like no absolutely opportunities right and so you say I don't have this is so awesome she's softening us I don't have cash at the moment tells your brain I'm good I'm ok it's all gonna work out for you from online and basically group had said I don't have a head for finances the boss's statement is I am never were retiring group also says, my cousin always says we're poor, you know, there these are some of the patterns that they're sharing, that they want to interrupt and it's exciting because you're pretty fit woman so it's obvious that this is of money work out so you're like, ok, I guess you're saying can't a lot, okay, you're boring can't all right? Yeah, yeah, well, those air really, really great examples and and that's so amazing that you're recognizing that now, because now you have the opportunity to shift it. So you want to look at two things, you're gonna look at the statement to make about money so I can't afford it. I'm not good at finances, we're poor. Those are perfect examples. Awesome! And if you keep saying it by the way, you're right, that makes sense. If you keep saying I'm poor, you're right. If you keep saying I don't have cash in the moment you're right. If you keep saying that I'm not getting finances, you're right. So you got interrupt this pattern, right? Change it so that you don't continue on that path. Good. So what if it's a situation where I keep telling myself, you know, I work so hard, I deserve it. I deserve it. Cool. So if it's sir, I mean, things were going to serve you and things or not, but I deserve it is a very spendthrift salad salad belief. I think I deserve it would give the permission to buy things you don't necessarily need. So so you could change that. We're talking about how to change it, but just to give you an example, what do you think? Give me an example. What do you think you could change it to that will serve you at a higher level? I said I deserve it by I guess it would be an added to so yes, I do deserve it. And now is not the time or yeah, I don't know. So yeah, I would acknowledge that as well as acknowledged the fact that not now write so well, I might say and I'm just, you know, thinking off the top of my head maybe you know, someone at home has as an even better example, but I might say, um I deserve it. I'm worth it and that's why I make good money, I deserve it. I'm worth it. And that's why I make good money, I deserve it, I'm worth it and that's, why I make good money you know, I'm showing to you some emotional intensity this is like the stuff about to teach that you're getting a preview here, but it's like tio own it and it doesn't have to be about things, so I deserve it you do deserve it, like when people tell me that, like, I think that's great, like you deserve it, but if you feel guilty later, you don't have the money later, then you say you deserve it, but your beliefs it's not adding up it's conflicting does that make sense? Like, well, well, the thing is, is that, you know, when it's when I because I think about things before I buy them, but it's like the way that the internet works now popping up on my side bar because I've said it has all my wish list, I guess, to fighting words like gave mind using online and you did yeah, I don't like I don't like the shopping in the store, I hope no one ever remember yesterday when I said amputate, that's something, you've got to amputate the google trying to tell me stuff, yeah, just that pattern right there like you and I don't know if you can turn that off, I don't can really I don't get that it's not a pop up it's, just like on the side of okay, so so you need to train remember how I did training my brain to put my hand over the right side of the mary and I kind of like that like you don't have to physically do that but maybe you just you just start to train your mind to look at the left side if it's coming up on the right like or you I'm just gonna tell you out of order here or you just interrupt the pattern like literally you're sitting there you're on your computer you see your wish list something you want what's something you want there was a pair of shoes that his shoes right sally at parrish shoes yeah and you're like I want that and then you go like this no, I will not buy that right now no no no ok, we'll come back to work right t ok, I just won't buy it because they don't have to slap my hand take a rubber ma'am, you just have to recondition a new pattern, a new language, a new believe all that goes together it's not make some call okay? We're going we're going to decide some of those in just a sec so then I want you to think about what's yourself talk says your current self talking I'm going to give you an example so when I wass I believe I was probably about ten something like that and I really wanted to be in the gifted program like some of my friends were in the gifted program and you know they get these I remembered like they'd get these green fliers like they got to go teo to a special seminar because they're in the gifted program and I was like man I want I want to be in the gifted program but they didn't invite me to like be in the gifted program and so I was proactive even as a young child I was like I want to be in the gifted program so I'd like and so I told my mom and she did whatever she did and and I had a chance to kind of like apply and so I remember a chair like this I was sitting like having this test and I was like sitting like this and it was similar there were like three people and I was like a young kid and I'm sitting there like all really nervous like no one in the group it program what was going on on in my head was I'm too stupid I'm not smart enough to be in the gifted program I'm not good enough to be in the gifted program and I remember they asked me these questions I don't remember all of them I don't remember even many of them but I remember one of them was there you've noticed I forget words sometimes the question was, robin now please tell us what is a tripod and I was like dr dot tripod tripod tripod like I should know this I'm ten years old like you think ten year old would know what try pot is right? And I I didn't know I'd like to say didn't remember because that sounds better than me saying I don't know but I'm admitting I didn't know and I went home and I was like, yeah, how did the test go? How was it? How was it? And I said, well, I just I don't know some things I remember like they ask me what's a tripod and I couldn't I couldn't remember what tripod was and my mom goes you don't know what a tripod is tripod tripod three, tripod three and I was like, oh yeah, I'm so stupid I'm so dumb we'll never get in the gifted program records started playing I'm so stupid I'm so done on every in the gifted program I didn't get in that reinforced it I'm so stupid I'm so dumb I'm not smart enough and I became like obsessed with proving that I was smart so like I did really well in school like four point oh, you know I would really well in high school and college everything like I just did really well magna cum a lot, you know, my mom was saying like always telling me like, right down my honors and tell people about it I'm like mom like I graduated a long time ago no one cares well honors I got but here's the funny thing like that language pattern, by the way, didn't start there just so you know, I was probably ten that language pattern started when I was probably two, three or four years old. Where did I get that from? Any guesses, maybe being told no, having told now, I mean, I guess this well, I'd imagine that maybe there's like a formative event, you created that story about your life, so any of those could have been possible any of those kind of impossible. The truth is, the reason I had that belief is because I might have the exact belief, and in fact, I was talking to him. I'm just a few days ago before we started the seminar and I was telling you, remember, I told you, I put their heads on that on that chart, and I said, mom, put your head on a charge to make sure I look good, you know, whatever it was, and I told her about, you know, that I'm also don't tell the story about the tripod and, you know, because I didn't want her to feel that because, you know, I don't want her to feel like she made me feel stupid I'm not blaming her by any means and I just told her I said mommy until a sort of tripod and she's like what's the what's the story of the tripod like she had no idea first of all of course you know and I said tripod three type and the reason I do this now by the way is that this is a pattern interrupt that my husband does to me when I run this pattern so literally like she I don't know if she said it like that because now I've like reconditioned myself but trevor he's always like if I say I don't know I don't know how to do it or you know I'm acting like I'm not smart acting like I'm thinking that right? I'm getting this ready and I'm like well I don't know I don't know like I don't know the answer to something he goes travelin thru threw both through them like you know, I cried about that my whole life but anyway I was talking to my mom about it that's telling I'm going to use this and she said, oh yeah you know I always felt like I mean I knew she always felt like she was stupid but what I didn't know I learned this like three days ago my mom said I was always really, really good at school and I got really really good grades and she basically was exactly the same and I always knew she got into uc santa barbara and she went there and then she ended up leaving because she felt too stupid even though she got and she just told me the other dead and I didn't know what how she got in but she said her grades were so good that back then she didn't have to take the s a t s she was always really bad at like status so was I standard tests center ice chest like I was never good at so we're very, very similar and so I developed this belief that that means I'm smart and this means I mean it means I'm smart if I can do well in these tests and means I'm stupid stupid if I don't and lo and behold him I had the exact same belief, right? And so she worked hard and she got to uc santa barbara and then because she felt ill stupid on lee because of her beliefs she still hadn't overcome these beliefs she ended up leaving going to san jose state so she felt smarter I didn't feel like she was the dumbest person in the class she felt like she was one of the smartest in class room that was her like it's all made up right? That was her stuff, but isn't it interesting that I took on those same language patterns that I took on the same beliefs and first I had to become aware of them remember the a's I have become aware of what those language patterns were not to take action. My husband made me take action to some degree by interrupting my pattern thirty drive on, right? And then I had to shift those with those beliefs but also shift that language. So if I catch myself saying, I'm so stupid, like I just I'm like that's total b s and I know it's not true logically, by the way, none of this is logically true, you know that, but you're saying in your head, so what is some of your self talk? Let's, go back to this one, okay? Shell arena, even anyone, erica so some of myself talk is a lot of what we talked about yesterday in dealing with, you know, my mother issues, and I really resonate with everything that you just said because I, my mother and I are very, very similar in a lot of different ways, and we've done a lot of work on it and it's been a theme just ancestral historically, and my family, the women in my family and the way we believe we are about ourselves, partly from culture, partly from, you know, outside things that have happened to us and so there's this ripatti pattern that keeps on repeating no matter how much my mom warns me, I still go through that same in process because part of it is the experience of it but the difference is me trying to figure out how to get out of it your mom can tell you all she wants my mom says, oh honey, you're you're just like me, but you're a better version of me like even the other day when I said that I'm like mom, I'm just like you look at that wow, I didn't realize I didn't know you were an overachiever I never would have described my mama's an overachiever and she tells me three days ago I'm an overachiever and I'm like I'm an overachiever like really were exactly the same and she goes no robyn, we are not the same you are a better version of me like that's how she feels good about herself because it's all about you know she likes to give so yeah so part of match, you know, part of the great thing about my mom says she sees my potential as much as I see the potential that she has a cz well and so she pushes me to keep going with what it is that I'm creating, which is a lovely and great support and at the same time it also when I look at her and I see the choices that she made and how I don't want to make those choices it's like ok, you know I'm going to be just like my mom but I want to be anything like my mom it's like that that conflicting lisa got conflicting beliefs set well it's really interesting my brother he just got married and we went to europe and he and his partner have been together for ten years thank you for the new law so my brother and his boyfriend couldn't get married on dwi went toe europol into francis beautiful beautiful beautiful and they had this wonderful ceremony there were just is very spiritually there in like this white these white outfits and they actually had everyone else and in the and if you must one else attending and there was like thirty people there for going to europe like it was the fourth of july was amazing and they're sitting there on dh they're going through the ceremony and they took time that they wanted to the special thing to go around to their family members and tell each person what they're going to take with them in this relationship. And so he said, you know what I mean very, very crushing you know, every one of us got this gift of he had decided and he didn't tell us what he's not taking no, I didn't say I'm not taking that you believe that you're stupid, you know? I'm not going to have that one, but he said, you know, robin, what I'm going to take is that your very persistent you always go after what you want. I'm going to take that with me with my new marriage and he said, you know, free mom, dad, I'm going to take this on and take that, and he literally made this decision to just I I can choose my life, I can choose my language, I can choose my beliefs, and I'm going to take the things that served me with me, and I'm going appreciate everything I got like, I love my parents. I love everything about them. I love them, and they're things that I learned from that just didn't serve me and you say thank you, thank you for that information. Self talk. Thank you for a really good way to say it like this. I just recently learned that I love it it's like thank you for sharing. You're an idiot. Thank you for sharing brain. Thanks right and move on. That's fine, I don't need to take it so you can consciously right now decided that these are the things I want to take with me and so it's not conflicting anymore like I still love my mom because everyone by the way wants to belong to their parents so there's going to be something that you do just like them or just to be like them so that you always belong so you always feel connected it's just in our blood it's it's in nature you can't help it so just decide this part I will take thank you very much for that this part I will learn from and leave behind so what? Some self talk that that you say besides about money I'm so bad at math I'm so bad at math also anything else you guys can think of? Yes um this is just coming to me now but basically like I have no doubt that my husband and I will be well see enough where we can live on our passive income also and I believe that's good languages that multimillion a limiting belief hidden in there and I believe that I will well but together since you're nineteen, I know I've no doubt that I am part of that um but lee with my own business either's limiting beliefs that like when I when we're looking at the goals is like ten years from now I was thinking like well, like I do for money wise for my specific business and it was like I was thinking, you know, a million dollars and I make a million dollars the goal is ten years and there's a limit there's limiting I didn't want to put that down because there's limiting like well, I wouldn't be able to do that right right like I'm not good enough to do that is basically what wraps up the men so there's so it goes back to the logic in versus what's really going on in your head a parent and I can totally relate to that my husband so I don't you know I make a million dollars in three years no problem make ten million dollars three engine problem doesn't matter right? I mean he says that it doesn't matter how he just decides and if he doesn't make it misses the target it's no big deal like he doesn't ever feel bad about it for me and we're going over goals I'm like well I don't know how I'm gonna make a million dollars like I don't know if I'm gonna do that like I don't know I just want to put something attainable you know? So I like to do because it's you know just to combat that is tio like start with the three year and then you can see it kind of like if you're like well in one year like I want to make one hundred this if we just focus on income right now one you want to make one hundred grand and make it a stretch, so if you're making twenty grand, you know you could make it one hundred grand or fifty grand whatever feels like it's hard to do it's it's a stretch but it is attainable and you're like, yes, I can do that I could see how that could happen because you're like a logical brain, like I am right? And then maybe said three years I want to making three hundred thousand or half a million or whatever and you're like ok, like, can you check checking on your system of that feels good, cool instead of just ignoring and say we'll just say it anyway? I mean you crazy to do that and that's fine that's fine, but if you don't believe it and you constantly have those like negative things coming up, you can kind of convince yourself that it's goingto work in them by ten years you could make a million. So it's kind of like you just gave yourself logic within all that stuff that's not logical that make sense, so I'm a logical person, so I have to go through that and then I'm like, ok, I can see that happening I've done that I mean when I first started my business, I was charging two hundred fifty dollars for financial plan, and then I had got a coach and then I went up to five hundred and I like, I didn't feel comfortable, like charging much more than that, and I was doing like people were getting so much value, so much bias charging way too little, and so then I went to seven fifty my goal was like to get ten thousand, but like, I could kind of put it out there, but then I just had it, like, incrementally get it and monitor it until I got to that point. Well, that makes sense, but we're talking about multi millionaire self dock so gravelly one yes, we feedback some self talk and say says, you know, my negative self talk is I always fail it's too hard on dh, then group says, well, they're relating it to another saying, which is if you work hard, you can accomplish anything and then miss motivated are mrs motivated says I've been lucky tow have extra money come in here and there, but when it does, it's already needed it somewhere else instead of helping me helping me move out of debt or into more savings, okay, awesome, so we're about to go into this first, I want to know how what will happen if you don't change? We get some leverage and then we're going to go through the process so everything you just shared his awesome I want you to take those those that language, the language patterns that you have right now are just identify on go on through it so it's it is kind of cool but you and identify him and then we're going to figure out like well had a change of how to replace him and to decide which ones you want adopt you know, maybe you're cool with adopting something different a hundred thousand yeah I have a question what if in a partnership one person has the multi million dollar heads that one person has as the scarcity mindset what do you mean, like specifically what? What would happen to their relationship? What would happen to their money? Where their way have we come tio point of concensus where we can well for your goals like for things like your multimillion herself talk you need to figure out what's going to serve you so just kind of like I told rina earlier is like focus on you for the self talk focus on you now you may have a goal as a unit as a couple that you want tio want to be making a million dollars a year but maybe like that's kind of more his goal or her goal maybe I want to make a million dollars here, and my husband is fine, just making quarter of a million dollars a year. I don't know. It doesn't matter, but what am I going to say so that I can be the person who I want to be to get there? It's, really, multimillionaire self talk is more about what talk is going to serve you.

Class Description

Strong financial management skills are a must-have for a thriving, healthy relationship — but conversations about money can trigger feelings of guilt and anxiety. Simple financial discussions don't have to turn into emotional minefields. Join Robyn Crane and CreativeLive to learn the skills you need to manage your money as a couple, without letting your finances get in the way of your relationship.

This course will teach you everything you and your partner need to know to manage your finances effectively – without stress, guilt, or conflict. You’ll learn concrete tools for communicating about finances openly and honestly. You’ll also build strategies for recognizing and correcting flawed beliefs about financial management. You’ll explore why money issues are among the most common reasons for break-ups and divorce, and learn how to safeguard your relationship against the friction financial disagreements can cause. You’ll also create a concrete, easy-to-implement system that allows you to achieve financial health by playing to your and your partner’s strengths.

You’ll leave this course with strong personal finance skills and an understanding of how to collaborate with your partner to work toward a thriving financial future.