Money Management for Couples

Lesson 8 of 33

Examining Your Beliefs

 

Money Management for Couples

Lesson 8 of 33

Examining Your Beliefs

 

Lesson Info

Examining Your Beliefs

Examine your beliefs. What you believe to be true, here's. The challenge may not actually be true. So whatever these beliefs are and you know I don't even care if it's a limiting belief or not a limiting belief you're right now identifying beliefs and you could say this is limiting or this is empowering doesn't matter but my challenge to you is what you believe to be true may not actually be true because every belief you have every single one of them is made up you made it up there's no truth to it it's not like black and white it's not like okay my belief is that you know I'm I'm going to be a millionaire awesome that is not true no one knows if that's true it is a belief so your beliefs are on ly beliefs and what may not be true may may not actually be true and your beliefs may be getting in the way of you making better choices and having what you want so this is stuff that you could take years for you to get clear on your beliefs and all that so if you try to get this perfect then y...

ou will not be able to progress if you see some themes and he recognized those and you go through the is this serving you how is this serving you? How is this holding you back and and the last part is what can you do to change it to serve you at a higher level that's actually in your manual but I'm just going to write that down because I'll get to it again. How is it serving you? How is it holding you back? What continue to change it this is key to serve you at a higher level because I'm not telling you by the way I'm not telling you you're wrong there's no none zip no judgment here no judgment I don't want you to judge yourself either I don't want you to be like oh man I had that believe out that's totally holding back no wonder I'm so broke no it's to recognize it to actually appreciate this belief because it served you in a way you know it's definitely served me to look at the price first you know, I I'm a saver I don't want to get rid of that I like saving but holding me back if I run that pattern on li you know I'm gonna have issues and by the way I've had lots of stomach issues so I tended to in the past worry and have anxiety not just about honey does it spreads to everything right and then I had to change it I had to make one simple change that will serve me at a higher level so you can pick a few beliefs and just just you know earmark this page like to go back too because you're going to keep coming back to beliefs but I want to take a toe ask one of you to come up you want to do it perfect. All right even better. Okay, so I'm gonna have a volunteer and volunteer is here in studio like I know she actually give a hand for kate. Okay. Have we have we rehearsed this? Okay, so I just wanted to know. Ok, she's, she she knows what I'm about to do but that's why? She doesn't want anyone else to do it. Let's. Just say that, kate. Uh, do you swim? Yes. Okay. Good. Salome to see if I have some things for you here. Just in case. If you would put these on just in case just because I haven't seen your swimming. So I used to teach swimming and some people say they know how to swim. And then before you know you're jumping in the same you better put that one on to a city of glasses on. But you're gonna need these just in case we're going well sitting of appear what is this? Water? Water bottle water. Don't take this too. You look great. Awesome. Yeah. Good tickets. It could make sure it's really water and all that. So I wanted to use this as an example. Is this proper cook? It's? What is it, it's? A cup. Amazing. So let me ask you this. Is it reasonable to believe the reasonable to believe that if I pour water into this cup? If I take water poured into this cup. Is it reasonable believe that if I were to hear, you can put that over there for my place? If I were to take this cup, she's got her, she's got her water wings, she's got her goggles. She'll be fine, right? But is it recently that fine? But if I were to take this cup and poor the water out that it would actually fall on her head, is that reason will believe you and pour it out. If I poured it out, yeah, would come out water, we need an umbrella, so, here's, what? I want you to realize that what you believed to be true may not actually king true. What? Tina hands. Yeah, I'll need that. I won't need those. Thank you. That was great. Demonstration isn't that interesting. So what does that mean? You're making this stuff up, right? You're making it up, will you believe to be true? May not actually be true, so one of you doesn't make up stuffs. Little will actually serve you. I can make a million dollars, I could make ten million dollars, I could save the world. I don't care, I am worth it. I am awesome. We're going to do this. We have multimillionaire self talk tomorrow, that's going to be awesome, some incantations. I'm gonna get you guys singing it's going to be awesome so that you get to choose your beliefs. So I'm going to give you one more exercise here. And this is money association, so because some of you might be thinking, well, I'm still I still know what my beliefs are. I'm so confused or, you know, maybe I didn't have all those questions, so all I want you to do is take out your manual. This is page forty seven and just finished these sentences, okay? And I'm going to do with you guys, actually don't write, because you're gonna be my example, and I'm just going to do quick associations, please don't judge it and don't try to make him really good. I'm going to take him from wherever, and I'm just gonna whatever comes to mind. Ready, michel, poor people are sad, great, rich people are wealthy, money is my friend. Money is there, money is money is power. Well, people are. Wealth is a good thing. Wealth is powerful, money is happy. Poor people are surviving great. So all I did is just money associations. So, like, for example, you said poor people are surviving, so I know you didn't have that. You can watch it back later, but you can do this. Exercise yourself and just whatever comes to mind, just write it, write it, write it let's, just it's like those associations and you may find some beliefs that you're like. Wow, you know, what's weird. I believe that wealthy people are fun, but I'm not wealthy. Why am I not wealthy? Because then I could have more fun. Do you know what I mean? Like you can take it and just decide. Okay, cool. I believe, welcome. People are fun. And I believe that I deserve to be wealthy bone got it. I'm gonna have more fun because I'm wealthy and you can use those to help you shape new beliefs. Does that make sense? Okay, awesome. Thank you. Okay, so where do your beliefs come from? Shout it out! They're chatted out. Screen your beliefs come from society. What else? Our parents, our parents or else media idea. Great anywhere else. Well. We put it in the shop. We're just waiting on a few guys air in the chat tab. Please go ahead and let us know what, uh, where do your beliefs come from? We love to hear from you, possum, so your beliefs come from society, parents, media cruncher, friends, let's, say teachers, yeah, where else, associates, associates, mentors, whoops. That was really about associates. What mentors, mentors, doctors, doctors. Like, well, say, just authority, right, I'll throw and maybe the government, because u shaped beliefs, based on what they do right, and we can go on and on and on. I've got a few here yet. Red balloon says my own fear. Red balloon. You must have a super high net worth, okay, my own fear, jeff. Oh, says our experiences, great experiences. Listen, I should take hand writing class mark mark uk says our beliefs come from direct experience, direct experience, great miata, says mao, says, I what I surround myself with. What I like I mean what eyes surround myself with nice to take responsibility there okay perfect so we can go on and on but to stop there and I would say that my belief and this could just be a belief it doesn't mean it's necessarily true but my belief is that most of your beliefs come from your parents or your guardians now if you didn't you know spend a lot of time with them maybe not but most of the time I've done this with thousands and thousands of people most the time your beliefs come from your parents now this doesn't mean that they're exactly the same as your parents for example if you grew up and your parents are really really wealthy they believe that you know and it was it's important to have money so you can provide for your family and then they we're super wealthy right and then you grew up in this house a ton of wealth you are totally like you felt totally in tile titled you got all these gadgets and all these things you got everything you wanted and then your parents let's say we're fighting all the time let's say they're fighting about money we have all this money I would say they were fighting about money right or they got divorced and then once I got divorced the whole thing with money was like crazy right cause a totally tor your whole family apart so even though they were wealthy and they had these beliefs to maybe support that if they kept their wealth you may say I never want to be like my parents and so I'm going to believe the exact opposite money is held money ruin your life so what happened right so my my what I'm saying is you get this from your parents mostly you get it from your parents even if they don't directly teach it to you sometimes it's the opposite belief so with that being said I have some talking heads they're not talking my parents ladies and gentle and please meet the heads of my parents hi mom hi dad I'm sure you're watching this now or someday wow don't worry mom it's a good picture of you so there they are my my dad and my mom and you may have seen the video my dad he used to have a mustache for like all his life and he just shaved his moustache and it's so funny because he's had no mustache for like I don't know six months or less or something like that and now I see him with the mustache in it looks like there's like aa caterpillar on his face think like it just not used to it start out of love you s oh. Anyway, this is my beliefs come from my parents and what I want you to do in the workbook here is to write down the name of the person, because it might not be your parents, it might be like someone I talked to he's, very, very wealthy man, and he said that most of his beliefs about money, and he was mostly influenced by his uncle. You know. So you want to write here the names, like the top two people, like the name of the person, so I would put dad and I would put mom, and I want you to capture some of their beliefs. Now, these could be beliefs that you also believe our believes, that you'd believes that you don't believe so you could say, well, what is my dad believe so forget your beliefs for a second and just see what is my dad believe, or the people who are most influential in your life. Maybe was a teacher doesn't have to be your parent. So my dad believed that it was important to save my dad believed that it was important safe. My dad believed that need to work hard. I say believed he's still alive and everything. They probably still believe this, but this is what I got growing up. This is what I believe my parents believe so. My dad believed that I need to work hard. He believed that spending time with family now a lot of these are is important. So for example, I showed you that picture of the menu and going out to dinner because that was what I got from them, right? Save, save, save don't spend a lot of money. I mean, my parents, my family and I, we used to go to this chinese food restaurant that's really silly because we went to this place almost not every friday night, but almost every friday night we'd go have two brothers and we'd go to this restaurant, and we at the time when we first started going, my brother and I both didn't eat red meat, so one of my brothers didn't eat red meat and my dad doesn't eat shrimp and like pork, and we don't really pork in that sort of thing, and so we would go to this restaurant because you're sharing his chinese food. We'd mostly order chicken, so we'd we'd go in there, we get there and they knew us by now, right? And my mom, every time, every time never failed, she would be like, started to order. We'll have the chicken chow mein, we'll have the, you know, lemon chicken, and she goes it's the chicken. Can family and I'm like mom, you know where the chicken family, first of all it's, not an awesome name for a family anyway, and you don't have to tell them every single time that we're the chicken family. Please stop telling them where the chicken bailey but I remember being at this restaurant and, you know, we'd order like there are five of us, so we'd order five it was very specific how much we were allowed to order, you know, we each got to order something, but we're all going to share on, and then sometimes sometimes, if they were lucky would get, like, one extra dish, but it be like the conversation between my parents would be like, my dad would say, we'll do we really need that? Oh, he lane, you know, we're not going to eat all that, you know, we don't need that right now that's 00:14:42.589 --> 00:14:45. kind of thing my dad would say, and my mom was that 00:14:45.01 --> 00:14:48. we can have leftovers, and my mom also liked to save, 00:14:48.27 --> 00:14:50. by the way, but she also believes in kind of like 00:14:51.31 --> 00:14:52. spending money on yourself. 00:14:55.61 --> 00:14:57. Why don't you go get your hair done 00:14:58.51 --> 00:15:00. now that she also wants me look good cause obviously 00:15:00.37 --> 00:15:03. she believes it's important to look good but just 00:15:03.13 --> 00:15:05. spend the money you have the money just go just go 00:15:05.31 --> 00:15:10. out and just enjoy yourself frank but she also believed 00:15:10.21 --> 00:15:12. in saving because she would she she loves to go to 00:15:12.88 --> 00:15:17. like tj maxx you know and so she would believe that 00:15:18.21 --> 00:15:20. like uh what would I say the belief is that 00:15:22.67 --> 00:15:23. like get what you want 00:15:25.31 --> 00:15:27. let's say something like this get what you want 00:15:28.93 --> 00:15:30. but get it on sale that's good I was going to say 00:15:30.84 --> 00:15:34. but don't spend too much forget it on sale 00:15:35.16 --> 00:15:38. and also just don't spend too much right because she 00:15:38.22 --> 00:15:40. didn't really she didn't go to like expensive stores 00:15:40.91 --> 00:15:43. like she would go she always told me about her friend 00:15:43.07 --> 00:15:45. who would go buy nice things to goto macy's nordstrom 00:15:45.69 --> 00:15:49. or something on dh they that this woman would like 00:15:49.03 --> 00:15:51. buy a assured a blouse for like a hundred bucks my 00:15:51.88 --> 00:15:53. mom like she would go to mervyn's or she would go 00:15:53.95 --> 00:15:56. to t j maxx and she would buy like come back with 00:15:56.14 --> 00:15:58. bags for a hundred bucks and she's like look like 00:15:58.44 --> 00:16:00. she would spend the same amount of money but she felt 00:16:00.73 --> 00:16:02. like she was getting a better deal because she had 00:16:02.22 --> 00:16:05. more of it okay so when I was when we were at this 00:16:05.75 --> 00:16:08. restaurant what I remembered us you know we'd order 00:16:08.43 --> 00:16:10. what we're allowed to order, and I remember just like 00:16:10.9 --> 00:16:13. wanting to order soda. But we were never allowed to 00:16:13.79 --> 00:16:16. order soda. Maybe not never like they're definitely 00:16:16.0 --> 00:16:18. times. We got to order soda, but in my head, I remember 00:16:18.49 --> 00:16:20. not being able to order so that, like, I wanted to 00:16:20.45 --> 00:16:22. sew it, and I wasn't allowed to have it. 00:16:23.21 --> 00:16:25. Now, this wasn't because of my parents didn't want 00:16:25.21 --> 00:16:28. me to have the sugar, okay, which is maybe one reason 00:16:28.12 --> 00:16:30. people aren't. You know, kids can't have the soda. 00:16:30.91 --> 00:16:33. My parents didn't want me or my dad mostly didn't 00:16:33.25 --> 00:16:35. want me to get a soda, because he didn't think it 00:16:35.72 --> 00:16:37. made sense to buy a soda for a dollar when you could 00:16:37.91 --> 00:16:39. get a twelve pack for three fifty. 00:16:41.61 --> 00:16:43. Like that just doesn't make sense and now my my dad gets so my dad like love deals my mom loved deals too I mean they both love deals that's what's called it keeps keeps them like aligned right they love deals they love saving I love deals I love saying my husband loves deals it's kind of like we're all in this were all lined with this and I remember this one time my dad went to a flea market you know they go to flea markets get seven by the way my parents were you know very well off you know were upper middle class something like that and and I remember he came back from this flea market and you see this he's pretty happy there this was he just we were just in europe together and he's like I gotta take my facebook pictures this good like so he was happy he was making him laugh um but anyway I remember he came back from this flea market and he was all like super super giddy and like dad what do you get like what are you so excited about he's like I got this special shampoo and it's like this size like this big and it only cost me four dollars and at the store you can get like a size this big and it's four dollars and he was stoked like is like I got the best purchase I've got the best deal like I did it yeah, it was like wow, you soon forget it and the funny thing was years later when my husband came back when one day he was he went shopping at a at a um thrift store because he also likes great deals and he came back and he was like, honey, look at this look at this I got these shoes at the thrift store and then I got three pairs and they were five bucks and he's like yeah, they look great these look and like they were nice shoes like dress shoes and everything and he's like if I've gotten this same pair for three hundred dollars, they'd be okay but I don't have five bucks like check it out I can super getting excited I'm like wow like in remember I told you my husband like didn't necessarily get giddy about like making money when we were in hawaii but he was getting about saving and having a good deal like getting a good deal so your beliefs are very important to where you are very important to how you feel and I'm just giving you some examples from my parents I want you to capture that if you don't captured all right now go ahead and do it later from online a couple of our viewers here deb novice says my beliefs come primarily from my parents and then my teachers and me at same yau says my parents and then my church and then on top of that, yeah, d touch says, my mother believes that being poor is a virtue on blair, if eyeing that their mother is from russia and it's kind of hard to argue because you can't they're saying the belief is you can't be moral and rich they're a the same time and, uh, that's matt, say mao also is agreeing that in their country is that way too. If you have too much most likely you got it the wrong way, or if not, you still come to become an entitled jerk. Wow, those are some really, really good examples. Thank you so much. Those are great examples. So he let's use that poverty's a virtues out how she wrote it. Yes, that poverty is a virtue are being pores over to l a. I don't know whether or not you believe that to be true, that being poor is a virtue, because you may have that similar belief is your mom and you may not, but here's what I want to tell you, whatever your beliefs are number one. They're not really true, right? And number two. Many of them are not even yours. Think about that. They're not even yours they're probably your parents now I said some night like pretty cool beliefs about my parents like I think that's pretty cool that they like to say that work hard you know time with family all that stuff and I'm so grateful for my parents I mean they have given me such a wonderful life help me become the person I am today shout out to you guys and I'm not gonna say butt and many of their beliefs are limiting beliefs that I just I inherited right like why did I get anxiety spending money on food because I believe that it's not important to spend money on food I mean they believe this so important to spend money on certain things if you don't value it you don't buy it you don't value it you don't buy it that's fine I don't need to have that belief I can choose if your mom believes that I need a man to take care of me fine my mom can believe that don't need her life founding her belief I choose my beliefs you don't have to believe what they believe okay so the last couple things here what are your behaviors with money so we're going to get into this mohr because I'm gonna teach you some new behaviours that you can have with money but I wanted you to recognize what you do and what you don't do because the behavior could be something you don't do. I don't look at my money right behaviours that, you know, I don't save money, or it could be. I do save money, or I look at my money, or I trapped my money. I measure my money, all those things, so and then I want you to do this for homework during the break, to think about those behaviors, just a few, and then use the same thing we did with the beliefs. How is it serving you? How is it holding you back? And this is all in your manual. What can you do to change it, to serve you at the highest level? So give me one but one behavior real quick one of you guys serena what's a behavior that you have around money let's say aye we'll spend money uh to make things look the way that I want them to for my business and not really and hope that I will actually break even or make a profit okay perfect doesn't always work right thank you for recognizing that okay that's cool so how is it serving you that let's let's just go through them and make this really really easy like all this is super simple you just have to follow the prompts here how is it serving you then you can change it how the serving all the quality of what I produce and when I put out there is nice great that's awesome how is it holding you back I'm in the red what perfect I'm in the red okay so here's the kicker right this is where change happens and by the way next we did the bees the next see if you remember the end of the sea is change and that's why you're here that's why you're here is because you want to change you want something different in your life so reena what can you do to change it that pattern to serve you at all at the highest level or at least in the higher level well I can think of two ways that I grade do it I could either, um simplify quality um, of what isn't producing or I could wait until I have enough uh response an engagement two then so basically make some money and then spend it we're spending it like so that same guy keep counting ham not spend money to make money but like make money to spend money got the other way so keep cunningham said that most people in their business are pimping their ride yeah, right by fancy computers you're like, ok, I'm starting even if you're not starting your like growing your business, I'm gonna grow my business so I buy all these cool things that I can use for my business and even spend cool things on promotion and cool things on this on whatever fancy computers and fancy office and have a screen when people walk in the people see that you know you look like you're professional fancy clothes and all these things and you're pimping your ride you're pimping your business when you want to look at instead of creating liabilities I owe this for buying this I owe this for by mr I'm spending money on this you instead you want to invest and things that are going to grow your business that are actually gonna grow your business so what I would encourage you to do is look at the stuff that really matters that's going to give you a better r o I a better return on your investment like instead of a dress from a super expensive place, you go to t, j maxx or whatever to get something that you like, I can look professional eye don't need you to get the best the best I can print this like flyer out doesn't need to be the best the best, or do I need to print the flier? Do you know what I mean? Like what is going to give you the r o I because people are spending money on their business and in their life that they don't either either they don't value or that's not producing the result that they want, and if you keep spending money and it doesn't produce the results on making you money, then you're absolutely throwing money away. But like you said, you could do the second option, but just toe to make sure you know what you're going to do one of those two things. So you're either going to tell me one more time and tell me what you're going to choose. Uh, well, I think that for me, the best thing to do would be two. Build up a higher level of client, you know? Higher. Okay, so basically more make money first, then spend you make more money first. Okay? And I love that I love it. I love it. I love it because I said teach sales and teach businesses and all that stuff. And I would so often find, like, you know, people who spend money like on even their fancy website and things like that when you can go out like I created something called money parenting that's why this? This whole thing is really, really interesting to me than money. Parenting is how to raise finance responsible kids by leading by example. So many people go, they want to make more money, and they're buying all these fancy things for their business and you can make money. I I did this whole money parenting. I hit one hundred thousand dollars a year plus by not having a website. But I did talks by calling hitting the phones, and I made it happen had clients paying me thousands of dollars because I went out there and made it happen. You don't need to pimp your ride.

Class Description

Strong financial management skills are a must-have for a thriving, healthy relationship — but conversations about money can trigger feelings of guilt and anxiety. Simple financial discussions don't have to turn into emotional minefields. Join Robyn Crane and CreativeLive to learn the skills you need to manage your money as a couple, without letting your finances get in the way of your relationship.

This course will teach you everything you and your partner need to know to manage your finances effectively – without stress, guilt, or conflict. You’ll learn concrete tools for communicating about finances openly and honestly. You’ll also build strategies for recognizing and correcting flawed beliefs about financial management. You’ll explore why money issues are among the most common reasons for break-ups and divorce, and learn how to safeguard your relationship against the friction financial disagreements can cause. You’ll also create a concrete, easy-to-implement system that allows you to achieve financial health by playing to your and your partner’s strengths.

You’ll leave this course with strong personal finance skills and an understanding of how to collaborate with your partner to work toward a thriving financial future.

Reviews

shellilouwho
 

as a participant in the course, and now a week later, going back thru watching the videos, following along with the book, doing the homework again, i have to say i am still 1000% overjoyed that i put my business launch on hold to attend Robyn's course and Attend to my Life and my Relationship and put them first for the first time in my adult life. i went into this with an open mind, believing whatever i got out of it would be greater than what i came into it with and by the end of the first day i felt like i had won the lottery! i was terrified to sit down and figure out our net worth, believing we were Billions of dollars in the red. but lo and behold, when i just put the battle ax down and did the work it turned out our assets had us sittin' pretty. Imagine my shock! my entire outlook changed, my beliefs were able to shift and i've been able to make grand changes in the way i deal with money in even the smallest of ways since then. i found that piece to be so phenomenally empowering habits i thought i'd never break are totally conscious decisions now, before i reach in my wallet i ACTUALLY THINK do i WANT to spend this on that right now? or would i rather SAVE it for later. I don't even have to have a goal in mind. the image of our assest growing is a serious turn on! Robyn's light hearted approach really brought my guard down, she gave me facts and knowledge first, when i was handed that 150 page book, i said to myself, "self i said, knowledge, cool." then she walked on stage with her sense and humor and i said, "AND Robyn's funny- BONUS! i'm definitely learning something, let's go!" and learn i did. I'm thrilled at the follow up and i'd say to anyone considering if they should invest in this course, it's unorthodox in the least, and if you're open and willing to do the work, it can, as i am living witness, be absolutely transformative. personally and triangularly- that being between you, your hunny & your money. take it if you dare to break free of whatever bonds are holding you from living with your love in your highest purpose, calling, and love light! If i could gift one thing on this earth this moment to everyone i love it would be taking this course with Robyn. (holdin the space, prayin n holdin the space...)

holisticmint
 

I absolutely LOVE Robyn Crane. What a great teacher. My man agreed to go through the video course and complete the workbook with me based on a clip he saw one clip of the course. We've gone through half the manual workbook and have been able to communicate better outside of the work, already. I am feeling better about talking with my spouse about money than ever, and we're both learning more about each other's ideas about money and our beliefs. Wow. That's an eye opening experience, I thought I knew what he thought about money and goals but I was surprised a lot at the answers he wrote in the workbook. Sharing with eachother is key-- I'm so pleased with the results and we're not even half way done! That you Robyn and thank you Creative Live!