Money Management for Couples

 

Money Management for Couples

 

Lesson Info

Time to Take Back Control

So I have a treat for you can I give you treat okay it's me it's me with the guitar so I used to be a singer songwriter and I will tell you the truth is I had major I'm talking major money and relationship issues, major money and relationship issues I had a lot of anxiety about money I was I was pursuing a career as a singer songwriter and I was on the road and I was alone and I wasn't in a relationship for ten years ten years I was really good really like master talk about mastery I was like masterful at pushing guys away really good at it in fact, I got so good at it I'm not bragging hear anything I was so good at pushing guys away and being alone that I started to write a lot of cynical love songs about it that was known for that it was like, okay here's, another cynical love song this one's called I don't want you that I'm a single guy sing a little for us all right? Elena, listen to the words hopefully you can hear him okay and you'll you'll be ableto kind of see where I wass at t...

his time in my life I've been out with you half a dozen times I wish I could say I couldn't wait to call you to mine I admit sometimes I feel strange worried I'll be left no one else just myself to blame the bump up uh so it seems that sounds go around say I am crazy you look into my eyes cast about pratt should have the phase bass something I know this is overdue because I've been alone waiting for someone like you to throw me a bone but uh uh don't I don't want on you I don't want you two want me so that was where I think you think all right, get coughing for that that's cool now I'm gonna be challenged to get clapping more and this is very exciting s so that's where I was I was really in place or is pushing guys away never seen right? And maybe I didn't meet the right person I know I didn't because I have the most amazing husband now honey, you're home listening to this I love you um but it's true, I was pushing guys away and in fact I even when I met my husband I was pushing him him away as well. I'll tell you a little more about that too. I'll give you just like a little just because so you know that it wasn't just a song called I don't want you I'm going to prove that I read a lot of cynical of songs now this one was called not falling in love you know, I'm like this I'm just going to a little quick part just went like this I guess we're not falling in love love, love love something like that and the pinnacle of my career was really when I started dating this guy who I actually liked and we've gone on three whole dates this is big I mean that I wasn't relationship, but I kind of like because I went on three dates on duh I really did like him and then, uh, all of a sudden he kind of wasn't into it and so this is a song called your sucha and I I unfortunately I'm got to keep it like, clean here, so I can't give you the exact words you can kind of make up in your head what you think it might have been uh, but yeah went like this the chorus was like, let me make sure I can get it here yeah, this is it. Here we go area and one like this you utah. May I wasn't the one on you you said though hanging out was a lot of fun. I think I would miss the court on and you told me in an email I must female told me in an email you're such a frickin turkey told me in an email it was like that ok, so yeah, that that was like before texting so like a lot of people can really and they're like, oh yeah I broke up with man attacks but I got an email because that was kind of before it was really big to text people and say I don't want you anymore I'm not that I don't know anything about thing I don't want you to know I would never say such a terrible thing. So anyway there you have it these songs for you to see all about my crazy issues in the past and tell you one one other specific story here about specifically about my relationship issues and then I'm going to really enhance your life by telling you all about my money issues just so that hey, I'm gonna let it out there because I'm expecting you to be honest with me and I'm expecting you to be open with me and I'm expecting you to take your life to the next level so I'm ready to pour my heart out and let you know the truth. So here I am this is I was at my one of my best friend's weddings um and this this particular day I had turned thirty years old so this is my thirtieth birthday and I look very happy there don't know happy and like for like five minutes I was really happy for my friends for like five minutes and then I was like, I had this, like, whole party, my big party was this thing called a pity party, and I was like, I'm thirty years old, I'm never gonna meet someone I wouldn't feel the rest of my life, you know? I was really depressed and I went and I tried to like, I remember the reception, you know, everyone's dancing, it was crazy, people are doing like, cake stands and stuff. It was awesome, but I was kind of on the side, like, just sitting down, and I was just really, like, feeling sorry for myself and really concerned not just going sorry for myself that I was blaming myself at all these conflicting beliefs, like, isn't my fault? Is this ever going to am I ever going to meet someone? What am I doing wrong? I'm sure you know, the more I just talked down to myself, the better my life's going to be that didn't work either, and I was feeling so sorry for myself that kind of start flirting with some guy, and I'm not going to tell you the specifics of that story, but it was not good, and I am not proud of hanging out with that guy. Uh but that's where I was and I was at this point and I remember waking up the next day I'm thirty years old and one day and I'm like man what am I doing it's time to take control of my life like I'm not going to do this anymore like I'm not going to feel sorry for myself I'm not going to blame others and I don't even blame myself and beat myself up about it like I know and I had this like revelation like I know I will meet the person of my dreams I will meet an amazing guy and have an amazing life together and from that decision and write this down your decision is the most powerful thing you have because I decided and from there guess what I had to do I have to kind of I hate to say study but I went toe like personal growth seminars I started learning I had to become a better me to attract the man that I wanted to be with and here he is ladies and gentlemen the man of my dreams this is on valentine's day a few years back I don't know how many years my man trevor crane this's on valentine's day and um there was a lot getting to this point of us dating and by the way once we were even at this point and things were going really well it didn't continue to go that go that way always because I continue to push him away just like it did with other guys and luckily my amazing most amazing husband in the world luckily he did not allow me to break up with him like all the other guys and he was very persistent and he kept you know he would be joking and make things spun and just not allow me to run my pattern or even if I ran that he wouldn't accept it so this is about I think six months into our relationship we had a really fun valentine's day where goofballs we like to dress up like to wear a mask we'd like to have fun made dinner we went to this cabin it was it was amazing it was so much fun and then we were driving home from this incredible weekend where I was like cash you know I was thinking like I might actually love this guy you know I never felt that way like so that extends like I really never felt like I've been like I wrote songs about this never follow you love all that stuff you know I really felt like this was this is new for me this was amazing and and we're going back and we had to stop like it was I don't know sunday night or monday night or something like that and we stopped at a dollar store and I called this the dollar store incidents tonda and things were going great I mean we had the most amazing weekend we went skiing it was just unbelievable and we stopped by the dollar store because I had a friend someone was having a birthday and I want to get a card and you know I like to save my money so I like to spend a dollar on buying a birthday card instead of three or four something so yeah I go to the dollar store right he saw here so we went to the dollar store and by the way that weekend when we were up in the cabin you know we had we bought some food if you saw in the picture there we had sam and I mean everything was greatly way went skiing and I was keeping a tally sheet in my head some of you know what I'm talking about about how much money was spent from my checkbook and how much money was spent from his checkbook and in my head I was winning the race we're losing the race because I was spending more money and I was like ok, well I think you know I decided that it was his turn you know, to foot the bill here and there and it's not like he wasn't paying for things that's just I felt like I had been paying more and I probably was because I was keeping track in my head and I do this number things in my head and so we went to the dollar store and I got about five things you know? And he got like he threw and gum in a water and a candy bar something like that and I'm like all right, cool he'll probably pay for this eight dollars you know, eight dollars and sixty cents you know we get to the clerk eight dollars and sixty cents and I'm like kind of like when you're what you're out of date you're like should I pull out my wallet? I don't want to pay my well so I was sitting there and like he's like that in an afternoon, you know, not even paying attention and I I you know, swipe my card and I pay for it and I'm like, get in the car and I'm like, I mean, seemingly out of nowhere right like what's going on in my head it's like, oh great, we're going to be broke forever I can't be with this guy. What I haven't told you is that when I met him I was a financial adviser and he was going through bankruptcy so I had all these issues in my head like this guy's never gonna have money, which means he's going to bring me down what if we never have money? What if he never makes more money and he was going through? He was in the process of of of bankruptcy and he did at that time I mean, he didn't obviously didn't have any assets he's just wipe the slate clean and and it just it made me really nervous and so I started building these things up in my head and that dollar store incident meant to me because of course we decide what things mean to us, right? We choose the meeting isn't that true, right? I choose it to mean that possibly our our relationship won't work out for those of you men at home you're going I know that I've seen this before, right? Because we women tend to do this we have this whole conversation in her head and we just decided not tell you about it so that's what was happening and I was starting to steam and I was trying to pretend that everything was fine yeah great weekend great, great great. And trevor of course was like what's wrong. Of course. What did I say, ladies? Thank you. Nothing. Robin what's wrong? Nothing about an hour later uh he opened me up and I started to tell him what was going on and it was just this like a pressure cooker. You know all these issues on my beliefs, my stuff building up that guess what? It was affecting our relationship six months and that could have been over thank god my husband didn't give up thank god he was willing to talk about money instead of some people who are just like oh she's pissed forget it I don't want to bring it up I don't talk about it we had a whole conversation about it you know he's like so you're keeping his balance sheet in your head like you want to tell me about that that might be good information for you to know and we discussed my issues about it and why you know why I was feeling that way and all the things that I had not even mentioned and finally we were on the same page and it was it was a turning point in our relationship it was it was a turning point in my relationship with money as well because I realized how much money plays a role in my relationship that goes back to the money manager talk right? So here's what I want with you want for you imagine this is all something you can have imagine replacing stress about money with excitement and my little excited doesn't seem like even though I'm telling you about my money issues of my my problems like I still there's some excitement there because I know what's coming for you I know what you guys are going to get I know that your life can change I mean if I really focus on I can cry about that because I'm imagining not just a few people in the audience here and thinking about all of you at home who are taking time out of your life you're investing your time to be here right now and thank you thank you for trusting me to help bring your life to the next level whether it's save your marriage or have a better tip or get out of debt whatever it is because you can have that and this is where it happens you get to get to replace stress and be a little excited about it, which is pretty cool most people don't think about excitement and money imagine having the experience that money managing money is easy and fun you're like what would that be like? No idea no, I can't imagine it stopped right there. We're done okay could by now, but it could happen and it does happen for my private clients all the time. This is what happens for them and I give them a system and you guys are going to get that exact system that know it and grow it money system you're going to get that that's happening tomorrow it's very, very exciting imagine being in control of your money your money doesn't control use that you're the boss, you decide you make the rules imagine talking freely with your partner about money and no tension or fights what that is not possible, robin. Well, I'm going to prove that to you. And you saw in the video, by the way, there was transformation there there's transformation between the couples because they didn't talk freely and they start to open up and they saw that they made progress. Imagine your relationship getting even better. So if you have a great relationship, don't turn this off, it could get better. Trust me. I you took there is your relationship in the red. If you took that, you'll know that there's different levels like to know. Well, are you on the brink of divorce or because of money? Are you are you? Is it growing? Is its thriving so make sure you take that quiz that's a free quiz for you to take to know if where your relationship is when it comes to money. Now this is embarrassing to say, but there are times when my husband, my fight and I'm not proud that their times then we fight in front of our daughter, which really isn't cool. And this is the embarrassing part is that I told my daughter she's seven years old, you'll hear more about her. You could see her. I told her that I did this quiz, I tell her what I'm doing, and I teach people about money in relationships. And I said, I have this quiz called is your relationship in the red? And I told her about the different colors and it's like red, orange, yellow, green, black, like, if you're in the black, you're like, this is like, unbelievable, and I had done the quiz and I'm like we're in the green cool, we're not black, ok? We're not perfect. We're always growing. We want to get better and better, but we're in the green. I took this quiz, but guess what? My daughter thought she said, are you in the yellow? So my daughter had this perspective that we're just doing ok now she seven who knows? You know what her idea of yellow is? I told her a little bit about it, but it hit me because I realized that I am sometimes treating my husband poorly, and we're fighting in front of her were arguing we're not getting longer, I oftentimes I have this thing. I call it zero to one hundred, I'm like everything's cool and one thing happens triggers me and I my god, I've turned into this monster like I'm just angry. And she sees that so it's not just about money it's how you treat people and sometimes I don't always treat my husband as great as I should and he's the most amazing guy my husband let me just give him a little some props here he held me create this amazing manual I mean, we spent countless hours I mean probably fifty, sixty, eighty, one hundred hours making this manual and he helped me so that's eighty times to one hundred sixty hours probably creating this and he pulls out this he pulls this stuff out of me, you know, all my content things and makes it packages in a way for people to understand and he helps me so much with this stuff and he just gives gives gifts he's so amazing and sometimes I don't appreciate him so I want your relationship to get even better. So take that quiz you know where you are and you can see yourself progress and imagine having the money and relationship that you deserve because you do deserve it. Check this out way have a friend his name's jack lanham he's actually also speaker is amazing. He has something called people first you teach teaches corporations howto you know, really focus on their employees first and it's amazing all these great principles anyway, he told us this story about a car they said that when he was he was young as a teenager I don't know maybe in college he and his friends they had this they had this car and they decided they really wanted to understand all the parts, all the intricacies of the car and how it works and they wanted to be able to like, take it apart and put it back together weird I know I would never do that kate and I were just talking about how airdrop is like freaky because we don't know how that works cower you're able to airdrop same thing with a car same thing with lights which I don't get it but you don't need to know, but these guys wanted to know and so they took apart this car and it was sitting like this in the garage and his dad came in and he goes, guys, you no longer have a car you know, parks, is that a car with parts to a car? Can you drive it can even turn it on can't do anything so I use an analogy because you have all the parts in this manual right now you're getting some parts about mastery about money and relationships we're getting some parts but this is designed to go together you need all the parts and you need to know how they go together so that you can truly benefit your life and if you change your life, by the way, whose life? Whose lives do you change everyone around you. Awesome. Awesome. So here's what's. So cool. All right. Breaking this out here. I'm gonna hold it. Ladies and gentlemen, you are going to get your personal money mastery roadmap again. My husband help me with this looks good, right? He designed it. Amazing. What we did is we took all everything that was extremely important out of this manual and put it into this road map so that you have all the parts and you can put this on your wall. You guys have a copy of this, you're going, you can print it out at home. You can put this on your wall and there's a back side as well. You can print it, even front back or to put both sides on your wall. And we're going to go over every blue, every one of these segments, you're going to learn something that in know what to put on the map. So just imagine this list. Let's. Just look at this for a second. You don't know what all this. Means yet but you're going by the end of this course you're going to know what everything means how it fits together, how it's all integrated so that you can have the life that you want to check this out so right here you're going to learn about your money masking your net worth you're going to know what to do daily weekly monthly quarterly yearly toe have the life that you want to master your money you're going to have these balloons by that I'm not going to tell you now, but they represent something very important you're going to learn the four keys to a richer relationship this starts tomorrow clarity, communication creation commitment all the components of that how they move together, you're going to learn what are your money values? This is coming up next you're going to know what vows like money vows and your vision together with your partner. So this is something you can start on your own, but you're gonna want to go back and do this with your partner and watch these videos again and re read this manual so that you can really really have mastery. So I'm very excited about that really, really proud of it and on this side you'll learn all of this is well, so I'm not going to go over right now but one of the cool things and I'm going toe I'm gonna reveal something else I'm as we talked about how I'm going to use props, right? One of the things to show you your ah money type I got barbie's yeah, so it's going to be fun it's going to be really fun to learn those types? You're going to understand why it's so important to know what your money type is and what your money role is in the relationship so that you can really shift those behaviors and shift those patterns to have what you are. So do I have your permission all you at home? I want you to agree to this as well to be your coach I've gone through it that major issues you've heard it here, but trust me, I've been obsessed. I've been obsessed about this topic for the last almost decade I've been obsessed with personal growth and money I mean, I got my certified financial planner certificate so that I can really master it I mean hours and hours of studying and taking the long, long test so I can make sure that I can come here in front of you and I'm not just telling you what I think I'm telling you what I know so you guys are like here, you know, you have me like, if you start getting on your phone, I'm going to give you this dirty look I'm like what and, you know, you can't just, like, walk out and, like, go to the bathroom, I could be kind of awkward make some noise when you open the door, so because you hear stuck with me, but you know, you at home, I know about the distractions you got your you probably, if you're going to go to the bathroom, you're like, well, wait, let me get my phone can't go without a gramophone, right? I mean, that it's gotten to this point where we need to be, you know, we're so desensitized, things have to happen every moment I'm going to do my best to entertain you as much as possible, so that I have your attention, but please, just trust me. Trust me on this, it is worth your time, put away the phone, toe, not be looking at other things on your computer at the same time, and to really invest in this. If nothing else, invest your time in this because it's transformational, transformational things will happen. So day one, session one, you're going to really learn about you and your money, or I'm going to focus on your issues. Now. This happens all the time when people ask me, you know, can can you help me with my money and my my husband well he he's he spends all the money and you know he hasn't had a job for six months and I want to come to this course because like he just I don't know he doesn't seem to really care about money doesn't seem important to him who is she focusing on him and what's wrong with him and I want to know what's going on with you right what are your money issues? We all have them so you're probably right he's got issues she's got issues it's cool like ok but it's time to focus on you and your money because whatever however bad your circumstances however like whoever's in your life and their issues you are where you are today because of you you made those choices you've attracted that person into your life it's happening because of you so that is today we're focusing on the next this session of the next three sessions are all about you and your money and then the next session is going to be you your money and your honey how does this come together? I don't know that I've dealt with my issues I've started to write doesn't ever had and I started deal with my issues now how do I talk to my my spouse about that of my partner you know how do I look at my money? All those things you're going to learn in date two and three

Class Description

Strong financial management skills are a must-have for a thriving, healthy relationship — but conversations about money can trigger feelings of guilt and anxiety. Simple financial discussions don't have to turn into emotional minefields. Join Robyn Crane and CreativeLive to learn the skills you need to manage your money as a couple, without letting your finances get in the way of your relationship.

This course will teach you everything you and your partner need to know to manage your finances effectively – without stress, guilt, or conflict. You’ll learn concrete tools for communicating about finances openly and honestly. You’ll also build strategies for recognizing and correcting flawed beliefs about financial management. You’ll explore why money issues are among the most common reasons for break-ups and divorce, and learn how to safeguard your relationship against the friction financial disagreements can cause. You’ll also create a concrete, easy-to-implement system that allows you to achieve financial health by playing to your and your partner’s strengths.

You’ll leave this course with strong personal finance skills and an understanding of how to collaborate with your partner to work toward a thriving financial future.