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Money Management for Couples

Lesson 2 of 33

Time to Take Back Control

 

Money Management for Couples

Lesson 2 of 33

Time to Take Back Control

 

Lesson Info

Time to Take Back Control

so I have a treat for you. Can I give you treat? Okay, it's me. It's me with the guitar. So I used to be a singer songwriter and I will tell you the truth is, I had major. I'm talking major money and relationship issues. Oh, major money and relationship issues had a lot of anxiety about money. I was. I was pursuing a career as a singer songwriter, and I was on the road and I was alone and I wasn't in a relationship for 10 years. 10 years. I was really good. Really? Like master talk about mastery. I was masterful not pushing guys away really good at it. In fact, I got so good at it. I'm not bragging here anything. I would still get a pushing guys away and being alone, that I started to write a lot of cynical love songs about it that was known for that. I was like, OK, here's another cynical love song. This one's called I Don't Want You. Can I sing a little for us? All right. I want you to listen to the words. Hopefully you can hear him, okay, And you'll you'll be ableto kind of see wher...

e I waas at this time in my life I've been out with you half a dozen times. I wish I could say I couldn't wait to call you mine E I admit, sometimes I feel strange word I'll be left no one else. Just myself to blame but by papa. So it seems the sounds go around Say, I am crazy You look into my eyes captured by surprise Should I be fazed by something? I know this is overdue cause I've been alone waiting for someone like you to throw me a bone But, uh, don't want, uh, don't on you. Uh huh. I don't want you to want me. So that was where I think you think. All right. Get clapping for that. That's cool. Now I'm gonna challenge to get clapping more, and this is very exciting. Eso That's where I was. I was really in a place where is pushing guys away? Never seemed right. And maybe I didn't meet the right person. I know I didn't, because I have the most amazing husband Now, honey, you're home listening to this. I love you. Um, but it's true. I was pushing guys away and In fact, I Even when I met my husband, I was pushing him him away as well. I'll tell you a little more about that, too. I'll give you just like, a little just because so you know that it wasn't just a song called I Don't want You. I'm gonna prove that I read a lot of cynical of songs. Now this one was called Not falling in Love. No, it like this. I'm just going to a little quick burn. Just went like this. I guess we're not phone in love. Uh, love, love, love, love something like that. And the pinnacle of my career was really when, um I started dating this guy who I actually liked, and we had gone on three whole dates. This is big. I mean, I said I wasn't relationship, but I kind of like because I went on three dates. Um and, uh, e really did like him. And then, ah, all of a sudden, he kind of wasn't into it. And so this is a song called You're Such A And unfortunately, I'm I gotta keep it like, clean here, so I can't give you the exact words you can kind of make up in your head what you think it might have been. Uh, but, um, yeah, I went like this. The chorus was like, Let me make sure I can get it here. Yeah, this is it. Here we go. Here we go. Like this. You You told me I wasn't the one. Honey, you who you said though, hanging out was a lot of fun. I think I would miss a cordon. And you told me in an email I must. Female told me in an email. You're such a frickin turkey Told me in an email it wasn't like that. Okay, so, um yeah, that that was, like before texting. So, like, a lot of people can relate. They're like, Oh, yeah, I broke up with me in a text, but I'm I got an email, cause that was kind of before it was really big to text people and say, I don't want you anymore. I'm not that I would know anything about saying I don't want you because I would never say that Such a terrible thing. So anyway, there you have it. These songs for you to see all about my, uh, crazy issues in the past and tell you 11 other specific story here about specifically about my relationship issues. And then I'm gonna really enhance your life by telling you all about my money issues just so that hey, I'm gonna let it out there cause I'm expecting you to be honest with me. And I'm expecting you to be open with me. And I'm expecting you to take your life to the next level. So I'm ready to pour my heart out and let you know the truth. So here I am. This is I was at my one of my best friends weddings. Um, and this this particular day, I had turned 30 years old. So this is my 30th birthday, and I look very happy. They're not really happy and, like, for, like, five minutes. I was really happy for my friend for, like, five minutes, and then I was like, I have this like, whole party. My big party was this thing called a pity party. And I was like, on 30 years old, I'm never gonna meet someone. I'm gonna feel the rest of my life. You know, I was really depressed and I wouldn't I tried to like I remember the reception. You know, everyone's dancing. It was crazy. People were doing, like, cake stands and stuff. It was awesome. But I was kind of on the side, like just sitting down, and I was just really, like, feeling sorry for myself and really concerned not just feeling sorry for myself, though. I was blaming myself at all these conflicting beliefs, like, isn't my fault. Is this ever gonna Am I ever gonna meet someone? What am I doing wrong? I'm sure you know, the more I just talked down on myself, the better my life's gonna be. That didn't work either. And, um, I was feeling so sorry for myself. That kind of started flirting with some guy, and I can tell you the specifics of that story, but it was not good. And I am not proud of hanging out with that guy, But that's where I was. And I was at this point, and I remember waking up the next day. I'm 30 years old and one day and I'm like, man, what am I doing? It's time to take control of my life like I'm not gonna do this anymore. like, I'm not going to feel sorry for myself. I'm not gonna blame others. I'm not gonna even blame myself and beat myself up about it, like I know. And I had this, like, revelation. Like I know I will meet the person of my dreams. I will meet an amazing guy and have an amazing life together. And from that decision and write this down, your decision is the most powerful thing you have. Because I decided and from there guess what I had to do. I had kind of I hate to say study, but I went to like, personal growth seminars. I started learning I had to become a better me to attract the man that I wanted to be with. And here he is. Ladies and gentlemen, the man of my dreams. This is on Valentine's Day. Ah, few years back. I don't know how many years my man Trevor Craine. Whoa, This is on Valentine's Day. And, um, there was a lot getting to this point of us dating. And by the way, once we were even at this point and things were going really well, it didn't continue to go that go that way. always because I continued to push him away just like it did with other guys. And luckily, my amazing, most amazing husband in the world. Luckily, he did not allow me to break up with him like all the other guys. And he was very persistent. And he kept, you know, he would be joking and make things fun and just not allow me to run my pattern. Or even if I ran that he wouldn't accept it. So this is about, I think, six months into our relationship, get a really fun Valentine's Day were goofballs. We like to dress up. We like to wear a mask. We like to have fun made dinner. We went to this cabinet was it was amazing. It was so much fun. And then we were driving home from this incredible weekend warehouse cash. You know, I was thinking like, I might actually love this guy. You know, I never felt that way like so that extends, like, I really never felt like I had been like, I wrote songs about this like, never fall in love, all that stuff, you know, I really felt like this was this is new for me. this was amazing. And, um and we're going back, and we had to stop like it was, I don't know, Sunday night or Monday night or something like that. And we stopped at a dollar store, and I called this the dollar store incidents, don't donde? And things were going great. I mean, we had the most amazing weekend. We went skiing. It was just unbelievable. And we stopped by the dollar store because I had a friend. Uh, someone was having a birthday, and I want to get a card, and, you know, I like to save my money. So I like to spend a dollar on buying a birthday card instead of three or four something. So, yeah, I go to the dollar store, right You saw here. Um, so we went to the dollar store, And by the way, that weekend, when we were up in the cabin, you know, we had we bought some food. If you saw in the picture there, we had Sam and I mean, everything was great. Way went skiing, and I was keeping a tally sheet in my head. Some of you know what I'm talking about About how much money was spent from my checkbook and how much money was spent from his checkbook and in my head, I was winning the race. We're losing the race because I was spending more money and I was like, OK, well, I think, you know, I decided that it was his turn, you know, different the bill here and there. And it's not like he wasn't paying for things. It's just I felt like I had been paying more, and I probably was because I was keeping track in my head and I do this number thing in my head. And so we went to the dollar store and I got about five things, you know, And he got like, he threw in gum in a water and a candy bar. Something like that. And I'm like, All right, cool. He'll probably pay for this $8 you know, $8.60. You know, we get to the clerk in $8.60 and I'm like, kind of like when you're what you're dating, you're like, should I pull out my wallet? I don't want to pay, but I bought by walk, so I was sitting there and like he's like the drunken afternoon, you know, not even paying attention. And I I swiped my card. I pay for it, and I'm like, get in the car. And I'm like, I mean, seemingly out of nowhere, right? Like, what's going on in my head is like, Oh, great. We're gonna be broke forever. I can't be with this guy. What I haven't told you, is it? When I met him, that was a financial adviser and he was going through bankruptcy. So I had all these issues in my head. Like, this guy's never gonna have money, Which means is gonna bring me down. What if we never have money? What if he never makes more money and he was going through? He was in the process of of of bankruptcy. And he did. At that time. I mean, he didn't Obviously you didn't have any assets. He had just wipe the slate clean and and it just it made me really nervous. And so I started building these things up in my head. And that dollar store incident meant to me because, of course, we decide what things mean to us, right? We choose the meaning isn't that true, right? I choose it to mean that possibly our relationship won't work out for those of you men at home. You're going. I know this. I've seen this before, right? Because we women tend to do this. We have this whole conversation in our head, and we just decided not tell you about it. So that's what was happening. And I was starting to steam, and I was trying to pretend that everything was fine. Yeah, right. We got great, great, Great. And Trevor, of course, was like, What's wrong? Of course. What did I say, ladies? Thank you. Nothing. Robin, what's wrong? Nothing. About an hour later, uh, he opened me up and I started to tell him what was going on. And it was just this, like a pressure cooker. You know, all these issues on my beliefs, my stuff, building up that guess what? It was affecting our relationship. Six months in, that could have been over. Thank God my husband didn't give up. Thank God he was willing to talk about money instead of some people who were just like Oh, she's pissed. Forget it. I don't want to bring it up. I don't talk about it. We had a whole conversation about it. You know, he's like So you're keeping this balance sheet in your head like you want to tell me about that. That might be good information for you to know. And we discuss my issues about it and why. You know why I was feeling that way and all this, these things that I had not even mentioned. And finally we were on the same page, and it was It was a turning point in our relationship. It was It was a turning point in my relationship with money as well, because I realized how much money plays a role in my relationship that goes back to the money menage a twat, right? So here's what I want for you. Imagine this is all something you can have imagine replacing stress about money with excitement and my little excited. Does it seem like even though I'm telling you about my money issues in my and my problems like I still there's some excitement there because I know what's coming for you? I know what you guys are gonna get. I know that your life can change. I mean, if I really focus on. I can cry about that because I'm imagining not just a few people in the audience here. I'm thinking about all of you at home who are taking time out of your life. You're investing your time to be here right now. And thank you. Thank you for trusting me to help bring your life to the next level, whether it's savior marriage or have a better relationship or get out of debt, whatever it is, because you can have that. And this is where it happens. You get to get to replace stress and be a little excited about it, which is pretty cool. Most people don't think about excitement and money. Imagine having the experience that money. Managing money is easy and fun. You're like, What would that be like? No idea. No, I can't imagine it. Now stop right there. We're done. Okay. Could buy? No, but it could happen. And it does happen for my private clients all the time. This is what happens for them, and I give them a system. And you guys were gonna get that exact system. The know it and grow it. Money system. You're going to get that that's happening tomorrow. It's very, very exciting. Imagine being in control of your money. Your money doesn't control. Use that you're the boss. You decide you make the rules. Imagine talking freely with your partner about money and no tension or fights. What? That is not possible, Robin. Well, I'm gonna prove that to you. And you saw in the video. By the way, there was transformation there. There's transformation between the couples because they didn't talk freely and they start to open up, and they saw that they made progress. Imagine your relationship getting even better. So if you have a great relationship, don't turn this off. It could get better. Trust me. Uh, if you took the is your relationship in the red? If you took that, um, you'll know that there's different levels. Like to know. Are you well? Are you on the brink of divorce or because of money? Are you are you? Is it growing? Is it thriving? So make sure you take that quiz. That's a free quiz for you to take to know if where your relationship is when it comes to money. Now, this is embarrassing to say, but there are times when my husband and I fight. I know, and I'm not proud that there are times then we fight in front of our daughter, which really isn't cool. And this is the embarrassing part is that I told my daughter she's seven years old. You'll hear more about her. You got to see her. I told her that I did this quiz. I tell her what I'm doing and I teach people about money and relationships. And I said, I have this quiz called Is your relationship in the red? And I told her about the different colors. And it's like red, orange, yellow, green, black like if you're in the black, you're like, this is like, unbelievable. And I have done the quiz and I'm like, we're in the green. Cool. We're not black, okay? We're not perfect. We're always growing. I want to get better and better, but we're in the green. I took this quiz, but guess what my daughter thought she said, Are you in the yellow? So my daughter had this perspective that we were just doing okay now to seven. Who knows? You know what her idea of yellow is? I told her a little bit about it, but it hit me because I realized that I am sometimes treating my husband poorly and we're fighting in front of her. Were arguing. We're not getting longer. I often times I have this thing. I call it 0 to 100. Unlike everything's cool and one thing happens triggers me and I'm I gotta turn into this monster like I'm just angry and she sees that. So it's not just about money, it's how you treat people. And sometimes I don't always treat my husband as great as I should. And he's the most amazing guy. My husband let me just give him a little some props here. He held me create this amazing manual. I mean, we spent countless hours. I mean, probably 50 60 8100 hours making this manual, and he helped me. So that's 80 times to 160 hours. Probably creating this and he pulls out this. He pulls this stuff out of me, you know all my content things and makes it the packages in a way for people to understand. And he helps me so much with this stuff, and he just gives gives gifts. He's so amazing. And sometimes I don't appreciate him. So I want your relationship to get even better. So take that quiz. You know where you are and you can see yourself progress And imagine having the money and relationship that you deserve because you do deserve it. I check this out. We have a friend. His name is Jack Lanham. He's actually also speaker. His amazing. He has something called people. First, he teaches corporations how toe, you know, really focus on their employees first. And it's amazing all these great principles. Anyway, he told us this story about a car. Hey, said that when he was he was young as a teenager. I don't know. Maybe in college he and his friend they had this. They have this car and they decided they really wanted to understand all the parts, all the intricacies of the car and how it works. And they wanted to be able to, like, take it apart and put it back together. Weird. I know I would never do that. Kate and I were just talking about how airdrop is like freaky because we don't know how that works. How are you able to airdrop. Same thing with the car. Same thing with lights, which I don't get it. But you don't need to know. But these guys wanted to know. And so they took apart this car and it was sitting like this in the garage and his dad came in and he goes, Guys, you no longer have a car. You have parts. Is that a car? Parts to a car. Can you drive it? Can you even turn it on? Can't do anything. So I use that analogy because you have all the parts in this manual. Right now, you're getting some parts about mastery about money and relationships were getting some parts, but this is designed to go together. You need all the parts and you need to know how they go together so that you can truly benefit your life. And if you change your life, by the way, whose life whose lives do you change? Everyone around you. It's awesome. Awesome. So here's what's so cool. All right. Breaking this out here, I'm gonna hold it. Ladies and gentlemen, you are going to get your personal money mastery road map again. My husband Help me with this looks good, right? He designed it. Amazing. What we did is we took all everything that was extremely important out of this manual and put it into this road map so that you have all the parts and you can put this on your wall. You guys have a copy of this? You're gonna You can print it out at home. You can put this on your wall and there's a backside as well. You can print it even front, back, or put both sides on your wall and we're gonna go over every quote, every one of these segments. You're gonna learn something that and know what to put on the map. So just imagine this list. Let's just look at this for a second. You don't know what all this means yet, but you're going it. By the end of this course, you're going to know what everything means, how it fits together, how it's all integrated so that you can have the life that you want. So check this out. So right here you're gonna learn about your money masking your net worth. You're going to know what to dio Daily weekly monthly quarterly yearly toe have the life that you want to master your money. You're gonna these balloons by that I'm not gonna tell you now, but they represent something very important. You're gonna learn the four keys to a richer relationship. Clarity, communication, creation, commitment. All the components of that, how they move together, you're gonna learn What are your money values? This is coming up. Next, you're gonna know what vows like money, vows and your vision together with your partner. So this is something you can start on your own, but you're gonna want to go back and do this with your partner and watch these videos again and re read this manual so that you can really, really have mastery. So I'm very excited about that, Really, really proud of it. And on this side, you'll learn all of this as well. So I'm not gonna go over right now, But one of the cool things and I'm gonna I'm gonna reveal something else. I'm as we talked about how I'm going to use props, right? One of the things to show you your money type. I got Barbie's. Yeah, so it's gonna be fun. It's gonna be really fun to learn those types. You're gonna understand why it's so important to know where your money type is and what your money role is in the relationship so that you can really shift those behaviors and shift those patterns toe, have what you are. So do I have your permission? All you home? I want you to agree to this as well to be your coach. I've gone through it. I've had major issues. You've heard it here. But trust me, I've been obsessed. I've been obsessed about this topic for the last almost decade. I've been obsessed with personal growth and money. I mean, I I got my certified financial planner certificate so that I can really master it. I'm in hours and hours of studying and taking the long, long test so I can make sure that I can come here in front of you. And I'm not just telling you what I think. I'm telling you what I know. So you guys are like here, you know, you have me like, if you start getting on your phone, I'm gonna give you a dirty look. I'm like, what? And you know you can't just, like, walk out and like, go to the bathroom. Like, could be kind of awkward to make some noise when you open the door. So because you here stuck with me, But you you at home. I know about the distractions that you're probably if you're gonna go to the bathroom, you're like, let me get my phone. Can't go to the other without my phone, right? I mean, it's it's gotten to this point where we need to be, you know, we're so desensitized. Things have to happen every moment. I'm gonna do my best to entertain you as much as possible so that I have your attention. But please, just trust me. Trust me on this, it is worth your time. Put away the phone to not be looking at other things on your computer at the same time. And to really invest in this, if nothing else, invest your time in this because if transformational, transformational things will happen so day one session one, you're gonna really learn about you and your money, or I'm gonna focus on your issues. Now, this happens all the time where people ask me, you know, can can you help me with my money and my husband. Well, he he's he spends all the money and you know, he hasn't had a job for six months, and I want to come to this course because like, he just I don't He doesn't seem to really care about money. Doesn't seem important to him. Who is she focusing on him and what's wrong with him? And I want to know what's going on with you, right? What are your money issues? We all have them, so you're probably right. He's got issues, She's got issues. It's cool like okay, but it's It's time to focus on you and your money because whatever, however, about your circumstances, however, like whoever's in your life and their issues, you are where you are today because of you. You made those choices. You've attracted that person into your life. It's happening because of you. So that is today. We're focusing on the next. This session of the next three sessions are all about you and your money, and then the next session is going to be you, your money and your honey. How does this come together? How don't now that I've dealt with my issues? I've started to write doesn't ever. And I started doing my issues. Now, how do I talk to my spouse about that? And my partner, You know, how do I look at my money? All those things you're gonna learn?

Class Description

Strong financial management skills are a must-have for a thriving, healthy relationship — but conversations about money can trigger feelings of guilt and anxiety. Simple financial discussions don't have to turn into emotional minefields. Join Robyn Crane and CreativeLive to learn the skills you need to manage your money as a couple, without letting your finances get in the way of your relationship.

This course will teach you everything you and your partner need to know to manage your finances effectively – without stress, guilt, or conflict. You’ll learn concrete tools for communicating about finances openly and honestly. You’ll also build strategies for recognizing and correcting flawed beliefs about financial management. You’ll explore why money issues are among the most common reasons for break-ups and divorce, and learn how to safeguard your relationship against the friction financial disagreements can cause. You’ll also create a concrete, easy-to-implement system that allows you to achieve financial health by playing to your and your partner’s strengths.

You’ll leave this course with strong personal finance skills and an understanding of how to collaborate with your partner to work toward a thriving financial future.

Reviews

shellilouwho
 

as a participant in the course, and now a week later, going back thru watching the videos, following along with the book, doing the homework again, i have to say i am still 1000% overjoyed that i put my business launch on hold to attend Robyn's course and Attend to my Life and my Relationship and put them first for the first time in my adult life. i went into this with an open mind, believing whatever i got out of it would be greater than what i came into it with and by the end of the first day i felt like i had won the lottery! i was terrified to sit down and figure out our net worth, believing we were Billions of dollars in the red. but lo and behold, when i just put the battle ax down and did the work it turned out our assets had us sittin' pretty. Imagine my shock! my entire outlook changed, my beliefs were able to shift and i've been able to make grand changes in the way i deal with money in even the smallest of ways since then. i found that piece to be so phenomenally empowering habits i thought i'd never break are totally conscious decisions now, before i reach in my wallet i ACTUALLY THINK do i WANT to spend this on that right now? or would i rather SAVE it for later. I don't even have to have a goal in mind. the image of our assest growing is a serious turn on! Robyn's light hearted approach really brought my guard down, she gave me facts and knowledge first, when i was handed that 150 page book, i said to myself, "self i said, knowledge, cool." then she walked on stage with her sense and humor and i said, "AND Robyn's funny- BONUS! i'm definitely learning something, let's go!" and learn i did. I'm thrilled at the follow up and i'd say to anyone considering if they should invest in this course, it's unorthodox in the least, and if you're open and willing to do the work, it can, as i am living witness, be absolutely transformative. personally and triangularly- that being between you, your hunny & your money. take it if you dare to break free of whatever bonds are holding you from living with your love in your highest purpose, calling, and love light! If i could gift one thing on this earth this moment to everyone i love it would be taking this course with Robyn. (holdin the space, prayin n holdin the space...)

holisticmint
 

I absolutely LOVE Robyn Crane. What a great teacher. My man agreed to go through the video course and complete the workbook with me based on a clip he saw one clip of the course. We've gone through half the manual workbook and have been able to communicate better outside of the work, already. I am feeling better about talking with my spouse about money than ever, and we're both learning more about each other's ideas about money and our beliefs. Wow. That's an eye opening experience, I thought I knew what he thought about money and goals but I was surprised a lot at the answers he wrote in the workbook. Sharing with eachother is key-- I'm so pleased with the results and we're not even half way done! That you Robyn and thank you Creative Live!