Money Management for Couples

Lesson 16 of 33

Kym Gym System in Real Life

 

Money Management for Couples

Lesson 16 of 33

Kym Gym System in Real Life

 

Lesson Info

Kym Gym System in Real Life

00:00:02.04 --> 00:00:03. Okay we have david ana 00:00:04.68 --> 00:00:09. hi robyn hey hi seem down here oh yeah hi how are 00:00:09.92 --> 00:00:13. you forget it okay I gotta tell you something about 00:00:13.4 --> 00:00:16. david ana ok first of all I've known these guys probably 00:00:16.53 --> 00:00:19. four or five years I did this with them then back 00:00:19.89 --> 00:00:22. I think it was two thousand ten maybe beginning of 00:00:22.2 --> 00:00:25. two thousand eleven so it's been a while never forget 00:00:25.16 --> 00:00:27. them because I eleven there now dear friends of mine 00:00:27.41 --> 00:00:29. has always happened my clients become dear friends 00:00:29.28 --> 00:00:32. of mine they're so amazing and I just want to tell 00:00:32.45 --> 00:00:34. you how awesome it is that they're here because they 00:00:34.82 --> 00:00:39. just had a baby baby girl named penelope right I haven't 00:00:39.4 --> 00:00:41. met her yet house on the monitor 00:00:42.81 --> 00:00:48. ther...

e she is too old two weeks old so I asked them 00:00:48.15 --> 00:00:50. if they would help me with this like a couple of a 00:00:50.5 --> 00:00:53. month or two ago and they're like well you know it 00:00:53.27 --> 00:00:55. is about the pop but yeah that'll be fine we'll make 00:00:55.8 --> 00:00:58. it happen and here they are and I just want to say 00:00:58.72 --> 00:01:01. one more thing about their dedication commitment to 00:01:01.24 --> 00:01:04. helping me I'm so grateful for it last week their 00:01:04.83 --> 00:01:08. son was in the hospital because he hit his head and 00:01:08.45 --> 00:01:11. what he couldn't talk for four hours yes he's fine 00:01:11.99 --> 00:01:15. now thankfully but it was scary yeah he's fine now 00:01:15.13 --> 00:01:16. thank god I probably wouldn't have brought it up to 00:01:16.79 --> 00:01:19. make everyone cry so it's all good but I just want 00:01:19.57 --> 00:01:21. to appreciate you guys and make sure that everyone 00:01:21.43 --> 00:01:24. at home knows how amazing it is that you're here so 00:01:24.22 --> 00:01:27. I just went over I'm teaching them kim jim and you 00:01:27.36 --> 00:01:29. know kim joon very very well we would work together 00:01:30.05 --> 00:01:32. I ate ten months I don't know we worked together for 00:01:32.12 --> 00:01:35. a while and uh and I just went over the network tab 00:01:35.46 --> 00:01:37. and I want to give them a break from all the numbers 00:01:37.98 --> 00:01:41. and so they remember what why why is this so important 00:01:41.58 --> 00:01:44. so can you tell me a little bit about how life was 00:01:44.2 --> 00:01:47. before you use this system between you guys and how 00:01:47.32 --> 00:01:49. you felt and then how it changed 00:01:50.58 --> 00:01:52. yes ana wants to talk first no so go ahead you're 00:01:52.72 --> 00:01:56. on girl I'm going to bring up just how it was before 00:01:56.85 --> 00:02:00. the kim jim system was in our life and so dave and 00:02:00.53 --> 00:02:03. I when we met we were not really we've never really 00:02:03.77 --> 00:02:05. talked about money because that's the time that we 00:02:05.8 --> 00:02:08. were still young and really both have brought much 00:02:08.11 --> 00:02:12. to the table on dso we got married and it's not something 00:02:12.47 --> 00:02:15. we ever really focused on and then we started working 00:02:15.34 --> 00:02:18. and then it was like well that's when I started realizing 00:02:18.04 --> 00:02:21. that david different spending habits and I had different 00:02:21.01 --> 00:02:24. spending habits I was more the saver and he was more 00:02:24.02 --> 00:02:26. money did you spend the money when we had it so that 00:02:26.65 --> 00:02:30. brought a lot of frustration to me on dso with kim 00:02:30.67 --> 00:02:33. jim it kind of helps kind of bring everything to the 00:02:33.79 --> 00:02:37. forefront and be able to like talk about money versus 00:02:37.34 --> 00:02:41. him feeling kind of put him on the offensive side 00:02:41.15 --> 00:02:43. where I would just feel like I would offend him every 00:02:43.42 --> 00:02:47. time I brought it up and so once it was out there 00:02:47.24 --> 00:02:49. in the open and we were able to talk about it and 00:02:49.74 --> 00:02:52. I had somethingto look at to see where our money actually 00:02:52.94 --> 00:02:55. wass and where it was going every month that helped 00:02:55.64 --> 00:02:59. me a great deal so once we have the system in place 00:02:59.32 --> 00:03:02. then with dave it was a lot easier to have these conversations 00:03:02.54 --> 00:03:06. and not have it become an argument awesome wow that's 00:03:06.4 --> 00:03:08. really cool and I remember seeing then and actually 00:03:08.65 --> 00:03:12. I had another couple here yesterday I'm some clients 00:03:12.1 --> 00:03:15. who they just started kim jim and the system and some 00:03:15.87 --> 00:03:18. other things that we've gone over yesterday and it's 00:03:18.13 --> 00:03:21. been like less than six months and I was telling that 00:03:21.43 --> 00:03:24. it was obvious because it was obvious the audience 00:03:24.1 --> 00:03:25. that they totally changed because they saw it in my 00:03:25.97 --> 00:03:29. demo before and it's interesting because you guys 00:03:29.13 --> 00:03:31. maybe don't remember and you know you know see yourself 00:03:31.23 --> 00:03:34. I remember that I remember ana coming up to me she 00:03:34.46 --> 00:03:37. saw me speak actually around here in redwood city 00:03:37.16 --> 00:03:39. at menlo park something like that I was speaking about 00:03:39.6 --> 00:03:43. money parenting and you were like, can you help us? 00:03:43.68 --> 00:03:47. You know, you were just like super super anxious and 00:03:47.01 --> 00:03:50. just like you told me I mean you're like I read you 00:03:50.23 --> 00:03:53. said something like we need your help and just like 00:03:53.12 --> 00:03:56. yesterday with my other clients I could see it and 00:03:56.45 --> 00:04:00. your face is like and you're like my husband I was 00:04:00.22 --> 00:04:01. told dave he's like my husband he's like oh everything's 00:04:01.98 --> 00:04:04. also everything's awesome but still it was like this 00:04:04.64 --> 00:04:08. kind of feeling of judgment or like you said, can 00:04:08.36 --> 00:04:10. I have something to say is you told me I guess the 00:04:10.8 --> 00:04:13. husbands that are listening out there too you know, 00:04:13.68 --> 00:04:16. most of us were trying to murder, you know, work and 00:04:16.55 --> 00:04:19. support our family and and there are a lot of bills 00:04:19.65 --> 00:04:23. and expenses that you know are just part of your daily 00:04:23.47 --> 00:04:25. process that you have to pay your months in process and ana didn't really understand all those bills and I think that having her relieved it's a lot less stress on me as well because it's not just that money evaporates it actually is going to, you know, pay for expenses and for saving for bills and yeah, I do have a little bit of fun with the money sometimes it really really helps when she's relaxed no, this a happy wife happy life, right, right. So how did specifically how did that change the way you talked and talked it all and talked about money? Well I think that like with everything if it's all out on the table is you talk about a subject where everybody is educated it's a lot shorter and easier and less stressful conversation that was that was the big thing is that for me to try to explain everything in detail everytime we sat down the challenging but once it's in the programme in the spreadsheet she could look at any time I could look at any time and actually make a phone call and say hey you know we're spending more than we need to on groceries what can we do or why it is that yeah also for me when they've talks he might talk for a long time and for me having that visual I kind of tuned him out but once I can actually see in front of me face people most step by step while looking at it it helped me a whole lot more right and I remember you saying like just having a visual point of reference this was really valuable to you it's like some people is a whole another story but some people are visual some people are auditory and some filler kinesthetic so to be able to share that while you're discussing things looking at it together having it all in one place not on ly just your net worth but your money masking your goals and all that stuff I definitely saw a huge change and do you feel like I guess I would say how do you feel like it's change your relationship because it's been a while right I mean it's been a while so how has it changed a relationship like looking back three or four years it's definitely gotten better it's not something that I don't want to you know it's not something that is stressful anymore to talk about I think because I'm more understanding now where the bills come from and how much we actually open a month it's a lot easier to kind of maybe even make a little difference here they're like when it comes tio what we're using and whatnot but but it's just a lot easier to talk about now because I understand it a little bit better and it's not like I feel like he's just spending money so cool I would say on think yes that relation but as far as money goes the big stuff is I think that we shot down we have a family of six now seven because her mom lives with us and our monthly grocery bill was like eighteen hundred bucks a month wow and you're like holy crap and so we figured out sorry if I get so we were actually able to cut that number in half because we were watching it and paying more attention and little stuff you know it had always been my responsibility to set up a table or garbage or pg and e or any of the above and now on a nose that is and if she doesn't like the amount of the phone bill or the cable bill then she'll actually get on the phone and take some work off my plate and call to figure out about a deal or better something that works better so it's been helpful that we're definitely now more of a team and I don't feel as isolated of having the full responsibility and I think on it is now informed I would say that's the biggest thing is that it's now a team thing instead of a meeting wow that is huge and you know what I just covered you don't even know what I'm covering here but what I just covered is um something I call money rolls and at the time when I worked with you four years ago I didn't have a name for it but now I do and their three roles you're either a leader you are a supporter or your partner and I'm gonna take the liberty to guess that before it sounds like dave you were the leader is that accurate? Sure and ana you're the supporter right right and now it sounds very clear to me that their partners right right and maybe sometimes you lied more and honor you leave more and david and you know it's always evolving but you're it's very obviously like it's a team you're on the same page even if you don't always agree by the way that happens you're on the same page you got a place to talk about to discuss it and it's non threatening right it's like it's non judgmental it's not you're not going to get offended by it because it's just we're just looking at what is and now we can talk about so last couple things is I want to ask you now I know that you are human right? Yes and I'm assuming because I don't know because we haven't we haven't talked that off and I'm assuming that sometimes it's possible that sometimes you don't always keep up with this spreadsheet exactly is that accurate? So can you touch on that because I want people to know that that happens and that's okay but also that how important it is to get back to it because it's kind of like it's driving your relationship in your money, right? Right? I could take that I would say that because we actually have an initial training it's kind of like when you learn how to do exercises the gym we still know how to do all the exercises in that program, but we're not actually going to the gym every day, right? And so even with that I'm cognizant of what we're spending it on and where the areas that it's elevated if it's too much fuel or too much gas or too much no one of the expenses or of their stuff that is kind of out of control we still reel it back in but I would say that I quit itjust like to having a personal trainer to me that yeah if you don't have a coach to make sure that you're holding you accountable we hold each other accountable not tow overspend or race falls but to have it one hundred percent accurate like when we were working with you I would say we're probably like eighty five, ninety percent accurate and if we're a ten or ten or fifteen percent yeah I'm still really good awesome is if I get stressed out about it or I feel my anxiety going up because I haven't looked at our money expenditure in a little while I have that system right there where I can just look at it on my own without having been at him or bother him about it and I can see you're it out on my own and what are your emotions that you're experiencing when you look at the money like typically um now that you have a place to look at it what what what do you feel like comes up for you um well for me I just feel like everything's a lot more clear and I just having that clarity around all of our money and our money situation is just a lot less stressful for me and and it's so true because I like I said I remember you, you know, feeling really anxious and when we just talked about money like I mean it's you kind of get like green a little bit you know a little white or green right and it was like the idea of talking about it and looking at it even though you wanted change like you were committed and you wanted change but when we started like at first it was kind of hard like it wasn't something you were used to it wasn't that easy right but then now years later here you are and you're like actually it makes you feel you don't say good but you said clarity and he said what else did you say less stressed and less stressed so that is awesome so last question is on what advice er er people all around the world listening to you right now um and they're learning so much more just by watching you because you've experienced it from that end and they've been listening to me for days here but I want you to tell me what advice would you give them because they're just learning it for the first time they're about to go look at numbers like what advice would you give them s so that they can they can use that to their advantage I would say that doing this is a team is a lot better because when you're when you're looking at your expenses and taking ownership of them it's much better tio have a partner in that process so that when you make a decision you have buy in I mean anything in life if you're doing business and you don't have buying from you're business partners you're on your own right and so I resisted in the beginning because I thought I had a good system and I thought I could handle it all and I want to able to make the decisions and bring it to my to my surprise having on involved in the process and to see how we work together and and how she looks at things it makes it a whole lot easier it takes a lot of the weight off of my shoulders which I didn't that was a result I did not expect so I don't say if you're the husband out there and it's this is normally your role which may or may not be a roll by the way but whatever you do it could begin aside if you're the wife out there and this is your roll or the spouse or anyways my person and yes got any other person in would be the way to go is having by and then you're supported it's it's good awesome awesome so I only call you on that because I just want to make sure that you know everyone out there knows that you know some many men feel that they want to provide for their family okay that's how that they feel like happy wife happy life it's doesn't necessarily mean that they are the on ly provider that they're the breadwinner right I'm just pointing this out because it's important you know they're a lot of women here and I'm a woman if you haven't noticed and it's it's not about it's not about who's the breadwinner and who's not and it goes back to what you just said is partnership being a team working together being a line together and how important that is whatever role you play doesn't really matter so I know jean marie has maybe I do what I want to welcome both of you david on and thank you for being with us it's really amazing that have you there is a question that came up that maybe we could start some dialogue about which is how do you get your partner to set up an appointment and sit down and talk about money is it that date scenario are yeah do you do you have anything I can talk on that but maybe you guys could track so I would say I think kind of the whole point of engaging conversation with robin and having a coach to help you through it it's almost it's nice to have a third party to help you bring it up sometimes things are difficult to talk about our bring up with your with your significant other so for us I think robin was bridge the gap she went to our kid's school and my wife went to the first meeting and and talked about it and talked me into going to a meeting and I think it was that was really helpful so let me ask onto that cause that's really interesting so ana you were at the school and dave you weren't there I think I can do the second meeting so yeah I did like a quick like ten minute thing at this school because they wanted to kind of test me out or something I don't know and then I want to see if the parents were interested in this topic and then they invited me back to speak so on it and I do remember this now I mean this is a long time ago but I remember that you came up to me after and had chat with me first and so what was coming up for you because you you got some information and you obviously wanted to change and now you had to go approach your husband who you didn't want him to be offended he didn't know how he's gonna react tell us a little bit about that experience and how you did it because lots of questions coming up about that I think you just have to feel comfortable talking to your significant other and just bring it up assumes you bring it up and they understand that your fearful or you have anxiety over this situation which is money and a big deal. Then I think that once they're opened and they sit down and hear you out and you tell him there's, someone available to help, like I think that makes a difference, you just to be honest with yourself and bring it to the table. Yeah, and that by the way, I'm going to go over that today, so they're they're they're good because they're going to get a ton of stuff today about communication and how to bring it up. I call opening the can of worms, so you're going to get all that information so it's coming up today in the next few sessions. But that is a great, great, um, story from you guys and to hear about what you what you've experienced so that they know what to expect. Anything else to add. Uh, you were just the angel in disguise. You could have a great time when we love you guys. Thank you so much. Uh, you're welcome, thank you, bye. So I just want to comment on I didn't tell them by the way to talk me up and you know say those things but I want you to know that it doesn't have to be me but you I do believe absolutely that ah coach will help you shorten the path to your success so whether you know part of it mentoring could be using this the manual to get you there but having someone to hold you accountable there are so many coaches out there so many amazing people who could help you but one of the types of coaches you need is a type of coach that can help you you know hold you accountable so there's kind of different types of coaches and you got to see what they do and I'm gonna talk about that all tomorrow so so it's it's coming up I just want to note that because it doesn't have to be me uh maybe great of it now it's getting but doesn't have to be me but I want to make sure that you still see that component as important to you getting what you want and getting what you want even quicker more quickly I mean that's just what happens when you have a coach aiken totally vouch for that so let's go back to the spreadsheet here all right so the next happened this some questions came up about this so this is perfect. The next tab is the money mask all right don't don't even focus on this yet because this happens automatically and I'll tell you what that is in the sex it looks very similar right first your job is to fill out this call him eh? Anyone it personalize it so personalized where is your money coming from? All right all right and this is after tax it says net income so this is what hits your bank account this is your paycheck or this is you know your business whatever your business pays you whatever you get in your in your bank account so let's say it's um let's say it's just company abc and this is tc when she is my husband's initials and let's say um making oh sorry I forgot about this so first you have this target here what I want you to dio is have a target for where you want to be okay, so where you want to be and I'm gonna come back to target in a second so where do you want to be so let's say from my husband's income we want I'm just gonna say twenty grand to you that might be crazy to you that might be very, very little but that's a target let's say for this year that we want I don't know could be anything um and then target maybe for my income and let's just say it's my business crane financial and r c let's say target I wanted to pay me let's just do twenty grand too let's say twenty five grand I'll tell they want up my husband why not right okay we want to make some big bucks awesome whatever it is for you it doesn't matter okay so fill that out and then you're going to go to how much you spend now I'm not going to take too much time on this but it's all there for you you can come back and all you're going to dio you did this already right this was your homework so if you haven't done it yet do it but if you've done it just put it in the spreadsheet you all you have from the other the other pdf he filled it out and then dump it in here it's really really simple so whatever your expenses are and you can change these categories so go ahead if you don't have property tax and you have something else it's fixed expense go ahead and add it in and then your variable expenses same thing keep track I don't care if you use a spreadsheet I don't care if you use you know some bank online banking I don't care if you use mint dot com I'm not gonna get into all the options of how you track your expenses. The point is you can do it on a piece of paper point is that you need to track it ok, keep track of it and that I'll just put in some expenses here. This's target so okay, but okay, by the way, let me talk about this relic. So when you're looking at your expenses, okay, and often times people talk about being on a budget, and I got to say I don't like budgets. I hate budgets, I think, but just don't work. What financial advisor saying, hey, budgets, yes, I don't like budges. I like targets and here's why? Because people have all these beliefs about budgets and nobody wants to be on a budget and you'll be talking about being on a budget, like for years. Oh, we need to get on a budget. Uh, once we get on a budget oh, yeah, I know we should really be on a budget. And then it's just like this thing you never want to do. You just talk about how you're going to do it someday. And someday, as tony robbins says, leads to a town called nowhere so instead, I want you to set targets. Now, here's this really cool about targets? It's okay, if you don't hit them. Not bad not bad not that okay so you set a target let's say you set a target and for entertainment and eating out okay it's on your spreadsheet and maybe you're spending a thousand dollars a month and you said a new target of eight hundred and then you spend that month keeping track you added up by the end of the month and you're paying attention because you're like I don't I want to get that to eight hundred you're playing this game I want to get into a hundred it's actually kind of fun and then you're like cool I'm aiming I'm aiming at chutes something awesome and I missed I only got you know I spent nine hundred instead of eight hundred next month and try again amy I'm going to really close this time oh yes and then you might just hit the target that was very very very exciting for me cool so perfect point so do your best used targets don't try to make it perfect because otherwise we're gonna just always talking about being on a budget you're never gonna be on a budget all right I think you got my point so the last part really simple this is in your manual is the action tab okay all you do here is right who is going to do who will complete the task what's come on her sir. Hello? What they will do a general description. What specifically more detailed information it's all here for you guys, by when set a date your deadline, and by when really meaning, when did it actually happen? The actual day was completed, so imagine that you're like, okay, erica, what I want to dio. I want to look at my money, ok, that's not specific enough, but let's, just put look at money, look at hoops, look that money, and then what? Specifically she's going to do that money mask? By when she's going to do that? Well, you want to do at the end of the month. So a few days after the month so let's just say by august fifth. When did it actually happen? Oh, man, they totally didn't have their money day until august sixth, okay, they scheduled it for the fifth, but life came up and they ended up doing it august sixth. And if you didn't do it, then there's still a blank there, and you're gonna want to finish it so you could be like, boom, I did it. Yes, progress equals success, okay, so this is like the system. I mean, there are many systems you can use other systems, but this is the system that I've used with my clients for years, and it works so well to help you shift your beliefs and behaviors that you have what you want, so make sure you take action. Take those small steps added in your spreadsheet right here. So that you can know your money to grow your money. So we're going to take a break. Thank you for sticking with me. Good job getting through the number section and go. Use that system.

Class Description

Strong financial management skills are a must-have for a thriving, healthy relationship — but conversations about money can trigger feelings of guilt and anxiety. Simple financial discussions don't have to turn into emotional minefields. Join Robyn Crane and CreativeLive to learn the skills you need to manage your money as a couple, without letting your finances get in the way of your relationship.

This course will teach you everything you and your partner need to know to manage your finances effectively – without stress, guilt, or conflict. You’ll learn concrete tools for communicating about finances openly and honestly. You’ll also build strategies for recognizing and correcting flawed beliefs about financial management. You’ll explore why money issues are among the most common reasons for break-ups and divorce, and learn how to safeguard your relationship against the friction financial disagreements can cause. You’ll also create a concrete, easy-to-implement system that allows you to achieve financial health by playing to your and your partner’s strengths.

You’ll leave this course with strong personal finance skills and an understanding of how to collaborate with your partner to work toward a thriving financial future.

Reviews

shellilouwho
 

as a participant in the course, and now a week later, going back thru watching the videos, following along with the book, doing the homework again, i have to say i am still 1000% overjoyed that i put my business launch on hold to attend Robyn's course and Attend to my Life and my Relationship and put them first for the first time in my adult life. i went into this with an open mind, believing whatever i got out of it would be greater than what i came into it with and by the end of the first day i felt like i had won the lottery! i was terrified to sit down and figure out our net worth, believing we were Billions of dollars in the red. but lo and behold, when i just put the battle ax down and did the work it turned out our assets had us sittin' pretty. Imagine my shock! my entire outlook changed, my beliefs were able to shift and i've been able to make grand changes in the way i deal with money in even the smallest of ways since then. i found that piece to be so phenomenally empowering habits i thought i'd never break are totally conscious decisions now, before i reach in my wallet i ACTUALLY THINK do i WANT to spend this on that right now? or would i rather SAVE it for later. I don't even have to have a goal in mind. the image of our assest growing is a serious turn on! Robyn's light hearted approach really brought my guard down, she gave me facts and knowledge first, when i was handed that 150 page book, i said to myself, "self i said, knowledge, cool." then she walked on stage with her sense and humor and i said, "AND Robyn's funny- BONUS! i'm definitely learning something, let's go!" and learn i did. I'm thrilled at the follow up and i'd say to anyone considering if they should invest in this course, it's unorthodox in the least, and if you're open and willing to do the work, it can, as i am living witness, be absolutely transformative. personally and triangularly- that being between you, your hunny & your money. take it if you dare to break free of whatever bonds are holding you from living with your love in your highest purpose, calling, and love light! If i could gift one thing on this earth this moment to everyone i love it would be taking this course with Robyn. (holdin the space, prayin n holdin the space...)

holisticmint
 

I absolutely LOVE Robyn Crane. What a great teacher. My man agreed to go through the video course and complete the workbook with me based on a clip he saw one clip of the course. We've gone through half the manual workbook and have been able to communicate better outside of the work, already. I am feeling better about talking with my spouse about money than ever, and we're both learning more about each other's ideas about money and our beliefs. Wow. That's an eye opening experience, I thought I knew what he thought about money and goals but I was surprised a lot at the answers he wrote in the workbook. Sharing with eachother is key-- I'm so pleased with the results and we're not even half way done! That you Robyn and thank you Creative Live!